I see this video is a few years old but I certainly appreciate the vulnerability shared. You deserve to be loved Charlie. Just keep filling your life up with fun activities and positivity and love for life and others.
One of the most heart-rending ways to love is to feel the agony of unrequited love. I've gone through a somewhat similar situation over here. My heart goes out to you. I realise your video is 5 years old and by now you will have grown so much more into your own womanhood. Your heart wants what your heart wants. Your heart's desire and you will find each other. Cheers from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada.
Hi, I just wanted to say, after having watched several of your videos that you have made an amazing decision in how to change your life. You are an inspiration not only due to your transition, but also because you are willing to self-explore from an emotional perspective. I hope you find the happiness that you seek, you cannot help who you fall in love with, irrespective of how it will turn out. Maybe a change of location is indeed what you need. You seem to have already made your decision lol. Good luck with everything, you are a stunning person, physically and emotionally. Take care xx
Move to Brighton!! I live here. I moved here without knowing anyone and have been here almost 8 years now. My advice would be don't worry about the gender of who you fall in love with. I really see myself personally as pan sexual and it's much more about the person than their genitals and I think this is becoming a more accepted view now. I also imagine more men and women wouldn't care about you being trans here. I know quite a few trans people here and people don't really see their being trans as a big deal at all. One of my best friends is trans and he mainly dates men as so far he's only really been attracted to them. Also everyone get's lonely sometimes, it's hard but sounds like you're making really well thought choices and good steps so well done on that front :) keep up to fantastic work! xxx
you'll find someone perfect for you one day :3 and being trans shouldnt be a problem for anyone either, you're so beautiful and everything good luck to you :3
I struggled with how best to say what it is that I wanted to say, but suffice it that the essence of the message is that you deserve SOOOOOOOOO much to be cherished for the person you are. Granted I have only seen what i get to see on your vids, but it makes my heart ACHE that people you encounter (who you appear to freely offer your companionship, etc too) don't see what a diamond in the rough you truly are. I just think you are sooooo amazing, it makes me wish i was younger again, i would be camped on your doorstep trying to even get the chance to date such an awesome girl as you. If the ones that you encounter in your life journey are taken back that you are trans, then you just haven't met your true soul mate yet, one that WILL cherish you, worship the ground you walk on, and be thankful each and every day they get to spend on this earth with you. Maybe you need to find a Canadian like me that can see beyond things and see what a beautiful woman you really are, both inside and out. Thats my take on things. I love your vids and will continue to follow them as long as you allow us to accompany you on your life path.
Thanks for being SO honest with yourself and us, it's so tough to have these feels but they are, at least, a reminder that we CAN feel and how wonderful it will feel when the feelings are completely mutual.
Sending you a warm hug. I travel quite a lot in my line of work. meeting new people and exploring new places. It's like going to a new school. trying to do my job and fit in. I've made great friendships over the years, and still keep in touch with many of them. It's wonderful to hit it off with someone, and get close, but that being said. Unfulfilled expectations will always get us down. I cherish the experience and the moments that I've shared with my new acquaintances. You Will find someone. Someone who will fill the void you're feeling. You are warm, sensitive, and you drive Really cool cars. Hang in there sweetie. Brighton sounds like a Great plan. warmest regards, F.X.
+Francisco X. Perez Thankyou, I met someone just before Xmas and life is amaaaaaaazing now - I'm so happy so everything was definitely worth the wait! :D
It never ceases to amaze me how we humans can be blindsided by our emotions. I've been in a similar position in the past and it feels so helpless. Brighton is a cool place I've spent quite a bit of time there, great vibe nice people and good night life. Do what makes you happy hun there is no practice and qualifying for this life we only get one run so make it count. Love ya xx
I just discovered your channel. I'm with the love of my life and it took 40 years to find her. You seem like a genuinely nice girl. Don't give up in finding that perfect person for you. They are waiting for you also. I see this video is 5 years old but, i feel like you're such a good person and you deserve to be happy ☺💙👊💯✔
That's where I've been for the last seven days now, torn apart between tears and happiness and deep hurt, in love for the first time in my life and trying to cope but not really wanting it to end right now. And as you I live in the middle of nowhere and consider moving as it's suddenly much to quiet here and as I want to enjoy all the changes I've gone through lately. Thanks for your video and for sharing so much of yourself, it again really helps me at the right time!! *hugs*
Every body seeks out connections in life; it is part of the Human Condition. The need for intimacy in one of those connections is, by far the strongest of all. You are a beautiful woman with a heart warming smile and a genuinely engaging personality that will make friends and connections wherever you go, so just believe in your self. Make the changes that you feel are best and move to a place where life embraces you; don't settle for less, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
I just want to say you are a beautiful woman and should never look down at life. Some day you will look across a crowded room and see a face that will take you breath away and they will feel the same way, because you are a beautiful woman....period! You have a heart, soul, and the feeling of of a wonderful person. So never give up. You'll never be alone because I'm right there by your side. LOVE YA GIRL! xo steven
Oh God girl, I know this is now 7 years old but crikey I really empathized with you and was crying with you! I've not even got to the beautiful hormone stage yet either! Hugs x
Merry Christmas! I hope this Christmas season you are able to relish the greatest gift you could ever give yourself: your complete womanhood. I am so envious of you and there are many of us in You Tube land who care deeply for you. We care what happens to you. I know it isn't the same as having a flesh and blood person in your arms, but we do have feeling for you, as far away as we may be. Thank you for sharing the good times and the not so good times this year. I admire your ability and desire to bring us along on your journey. I saw a movie last night, The Sound of Music, and in it there is a saying I want to share with you: "When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." I think your feelings of loneliness right now are God's way of telling you it's time to move and develop more interaction with other people. I know loneliness always spurs me into action. Be kind to yourself right now, just as you would want others to be kind to you. You deserve love so for right now, love yourself in a special way. Buy something special for yourself or take yourself our for a special dinner. You are worth loving. God Bless.
It makes me really sad to see you cry. I can relate to going into a situation with your heart on your sleeve. Please don't " calculate" how to look for love. And don't be afraid stay open to people. Stay true to yourself and you'll find someone who is worthy enough to deserve you.
I definitely relate to that as a transwoman. I always doubt it’s just me being sensitive or people are actually scary. But I have been in that situation. Seeing you pause a second when said you really enjoy being with the person, I can almost imagine what you are feeling because I really feel that frustration and the feeling of no one really blame but myself. Some people here don’t understand this is a feel may never go away and we have to learn to live with it. Btw you are a transmom to me, I watched your videos for many years until last year I decide to start HRT. I am having my srs next month and wish me good luck !
100% move! I'm in the same situation; living in the middle of nowhere & knowing I need to leave & kinda start again somewhere to fully embrace life :) go for it! wishing you loads of positiive things xx
Feels pretty silly and strange to be sharing this, but - as you might say - this video is "spot on." I love my estradiol to which I attribute rarely being in a funk. But for some unknown reason, I am tonight - and it's for exactly the same reasons you're describing. I haven't wanted a significant other for quite some time. Now I'm realizing that I kind of do...but I don't have the faintest idea who that could be or even what species. Thanks for sharing your pain again. It helps. J
GoCharlie My dear, I hurt for you so much. Been there, done that. I so hope that you don’t have the dire aloneness in your life like I have had. You’re much younger, much more attractive and apparently well grounded than I so I suspect you shan’t. Please take my virtual hug. It’ll get better. Oh yeah another commonality we share, I logged about 20,000 track miles myself. What fun! We should chat sometime. I follow you on the Twit.
I really love your videos!! Thank you, I have followed your channel since the beginning of my transition because I love your honesty and personality. I hope you enjoy moving closer to the big city- you look so good as a country chick haha so make sure you still make time to get back into nature regularly! I live in the country too at the mo, and I totally understand your reasonings with wanting to go to a more populated area to live...Ill prob move into the city soon for similar reasons. I look forward to your next update!!
+Tabitha Cathro (Tabby) Thank you! Really glad you enjoy them :D Yes although I'm a country girl at heart I'm tired of the isolation and super excited about the idea of moving down south - I'm doing some career coaching to try and figure out what I should be aiming for as right now I have a lot of ideas but a bit lost too. I know there are quite a few things I could do as I've got quite a few strings to my bow, it may be a case of trying a few things first... Might try and write the book I've had on the back burner too!!
Blast, I hit the post button by mistake! Anyway as I was saying, it would not be nice for you if someone you told about your transitioning took offence in a negative way, I wouldn't like to think that you might be hurt physically or otherwise if you were to do this. Right, that said let's move on. My daughter lives in Brighton and she loves the place to bits. She studied at Uni there and stayed, she has been there for about ten years now. We love visiting her and staying in Brighton. You are sure to find a soul mate there!I want to move to France, but my wife does not. We moved from our house in a popular seaside town on the south coast to a tiny village in the countryside earlier this year. We lived in our previous house for 27 years and it was a hard choice to make, but move we did, not far a only about 25 miles but OMG what a difference. Village life is great for us.You seem to live in a rural place now and as you are a young woman, you would probably do well to move to Brighton as it has everything that you have described. I wish you well with what ever decision you make. Be happy because it will come right for you eventually.
Gone through this experience a few times in life myself. Unrequited love really is the most painful emotional experience I've been through, and so I sympathise with what you went through. You are a beautiful, intelligent, articulate woman and you will find the right person for you, have no doubt. I also don't feel that finding a male partner for the long term is going to be that hard once you move somewhere more populated, as there are a lot of us that don't differentiate between biological and transgender status if we are already attracted to you.
Don't calculate. This don't mean you're looking for the "better" option, it means you quit some options without considering them. Just listen to your heart. And when there's this special person, grab him/her and never let go!
If you feel you need a fresh start somewhere else, just follow your guts and do it. Don't give up on love. The journey might be sprinkled with deceptions but at the end, it's all worth it, beleive me :)
aww honey you are a bright young thing. I enjoy watching your videos, I am a 60 year old cis woman whose partner is currently transitioning from male to female age 50, we have been married for 20 years and i love this person dearly. You will find your life partner one day. I admire your courage, take care
Thank you for sharing, and I think you'll find someone for sure. Moving out of your home area could really help with that. I'm sorry to hear that you fell for a straight girl, that's the worst. Nothing to be done about it, but it's still really rough. But keep trying, you're a great person, you'll find someone.
I know being transgender is tough, especially when it comes to finding just the right person. it can be very difficult even when you do. I am currently with a transwoman so it is not only a new experience for me, but for her as well. Just imagine, two transwomen, both pre op, each with dysphoria, wanting to be intimate, but both not being able to because we both have parts we don't want to even look at, much less try to have an encounter with. The only reason we are together is that we are attracted to each other, we see each other as beautiful women, and are comfortable with each other knowing that we understand what the other is going through. One day we will be post op, and we will move to a new place, far from where we are, so we can get a fresh start as the we that we see. I have been watching you for a long time now, and I know that sooner or later, you will find your match, and you will find them as beautiful as you are now.
4:25 LOL sorry, I was reminded of my first crush after finding out I was transgender, there wasn''t much of "Do not develop these kind of feelings" around the person in question for me, I fell for her incredibly hard (and given the fact that she was basically the textbook example of unreachable, that did not help, next to the fact she probably estimated me a good amount of years younger as well). The thing about not knowing where to find someone, I unfortunately have no advice for you there, and hearing you talking about loneliness cut through my soul like nothing else. I tried a dating site for a while (a site that actually understands where to place "transgender" and all the options surrounding it, which made me feel positive) but after sending close to 100 "potentional partners" (the site's words) a message and only getting one response back from someone quite a bit younger than me who primarily thought I was pranking her because she thought I was younger than 18..... (I was 31 at the time).
Sorry this happened to you. You are beautiful and I know someone will realize how amazing you are. Thanks for making a video on my birthday. I'm almost on a year and a half , but not full time as me.I still don't have a partner of my own. You are awesome , hugs
Oh dear *hugs* You really wear your heart on your sleeve and there's nothing wrong with that. You're right that being in an isolated spot means you're going to meet fewer decent people and, yes Brighton is a lively place. So... next thing is to plan the practical side of things - work and all that boring stuff. Whatever you decide, and you should wait till the NY to do that, then you'll take the best wishes of us followers
I hope you find who and what you're looking for. Everyone deserves to find that happiness. You have the first step of knowing yourself; ya just got to find the other piece. Keep your chin up. Just found your channel, I really have learned a lot from you and other simarlar channels.
Good luck with a move to Brighton, it's a great place but i find it a Bit of a scary place too because i'm not very City savvy. I did think of moving there myself but i don't think i could handle the place everyday so as I'm only 20 miles away i can visit from here. Keep your chin up.
A good time is a lot easier to find than true love. Only the right fit will do for you. Don't settle. He's looking everywhere for you, all upset just like you.
Figured out where last night's (lingering) funk probably came from. A couple of days ago I made the rookie mistake of watching "Love Actually" again..ugh...ouch...whimper... Still - too much to be grateful for to linger there. There's so many, many experiences yet to explore. Yipppee!
I've just started my transition (mtf) and I live in a small town in Alabama. I know the middle of nowhere struggle. I don't know how to meet people or date or anything. But, all of my loved ones tell me to keep my head up so you keep your head up too!
telling people isent always necessary. but some, like a potential lover, have a RIGHT to know. telling is always a double edged sword, and sometimes you will get cut. but that is their loss, and certainly not yours, even if it hurts. moving is almost always a good option. it lets you start over from scratch. but it takes money to move and time to get established. I like that you are staying out of London. being out in NOWHERE, sucks, there isent anything to do, and no one to do it with. but in a big city, there are sky-high cost of living expenses, and an excess of crime. I like being just outside the outskirts of a small city. you have your quiet, your lower expenses, less crime, and you can still have a night out in the city with just a half hour drive. loneliness.... how do we handle this? I transitioned 19 years ago, and I STILL don't know if I want a man, a woman, a Trans, or even if it matters one or the other. I have had them all, more than once, and it still hasent worked out. I am 48 years old, and aside from being married for 8 years, before I transitioned, I have been mostly alone. my total time "with" significant others, all added up would span about 14 years. that makes almost 2 decades of loneliness. then, I was an outcast the whole time I was growing up. that tacks on another decade+. I don't even care anymore. if someone comes along, OK. if not, eeh just as good. does my being Trans contribute to my being alone? you betcha it does. we are not of the norm, it's not fair, but that is the hand we have been dealt. and by transitioning, you signed yourself up to a potential lifetime of loneliness. and you should have known this before transition. you should have considered the possibility that you may be alone for life. however... times ARE changing. and there ARE accepting people out there. my last boyfriend Diden't care one bit that I was trans. my last girlfriend Diden't care one bit that I was trans. and of course, none of my Trans girlfriends cared either... we walk through a minefield to find them, there is no doubt about it. but, taking control of your emotions, helps. know that going into a relationship does not mean you have to fall head over heels in love. it's not a bad thing to have shields around your heart in the beginning. and remember it goes both ways, you don't have to just settle for someone, you can be choosy too. I broke up with my last girlfriend. I broke up with her because, after I got to KNOW her, I found her to be, not a very nice person. she wasent particularly mean to ME, but she was to others. people who diden't deserve her venom. not all whom would have you, are worthy of having you. it's harder for us. no doubt about that. but you are beautiful, your voice is good, you have friends, a job, and a good head on your shoulders. it might take a while, but I think that you will do just fine. don't LOOK for someone. eventually, someone will find you. good luck Sister. *hug*
I have recently broken up with my boyfriend so, I am quiet heartbroken myself at the moment too. It is soooo very hard and that feeling of am I going to be lonely forever does suck. Apparently so, I have been told that only when you are totally happy within yourself and within yourself then you will attract someone that is worthy into your life. So, for now I am just going to try and get happy within and with myself. I am not going to look and I hope that someone will find me when the time comes but, for now I am just going to find myself first. Life is very difficult and complicated but, at least we have roofs over our heads and food in our bellies. A sea change to Brighton would most likely do you some good. Do, you have some friends in Brighton or would this be a totally new beginning??? I moved in August this year but, am still not happy. I am thinking that I would love a country change but, I unfortunately can not afford to do so, oh well such is life. I would love a little farm with a little house and some goats,maybe a baby calf,a horse, a lamb and a couple of cats and a couple of dogs and maybe some chooks too and maybe some donkeys too lol. Oh well I can only dream lol. But, seriously I think that a sea change would be really really good for you. I say go for the move to Brighton. A change is as good as a holiday apparently. Well you've had the holiday now go for the sea change. I need a holiday sooo bad. Well best of luck with it all. Brighton here you comeXxxOoo ☺
life never designates whom you may love, as long as you are happy and comfortable with your relationships. Sometimes, love is a cruel mistress, you'll have to deal with your heart and your head all at the same time, and be able to deal with your choices. Sometimes, I ramble. Baby girl, don't cry, you'll get frown lines...
don't rush to settle with anyone, live, love laugh, I think that post is the final adjustment from loving as a MTF to loving as a woman, its only when we let go of the old ways the new growth shoots away, your so young and well, nice, I think there que for a chance to be with you. I ended up with a female partner it was very different from before the change and its more fun, go out and have fun, its not so urgent, you English do worry alot. New zealand is a beautiful place with a nice climate and great surf, we love too have you here.
Please don't take offense to my next statement. It is a phenomena that is quite common in the T community , especially in post op trans folk. It has always perplexed me. Why do we as a group feel compelled almost as if it is out of our control to spill our past. Is it validation? guilt feelings,? feeling we committed a crime?, justifying who we are? All of this or something else? I just don't get it. I get a person who isn't blending well may feel compelled to out themselves but folks hidden in plain sight doing so just confuses me. No one on this planet needs an explanation of who we are or our past. Prisoners don't walk out of jail and say Hi there my name is Joe,, I just got released from prison for killing ten people. It just doesn't happen,, Hi my name is Betty I have herpes nice to met you. So why do we feel this compulsion? We as a group need to stop doing this as a way to justify our existence. We owe no explanation. I have two close T friends that cause themselves all kinds of turmoil because they cant just shut up and leave it alone. I even warn one of them to never do it while in my company. You are a beautiful talent women and need to accept that and expect society to see and treat you as such. Stop selling yourself short. I get it if you are about to slip between the sheets with someone,, or answering a question about your past if you feel its in order to spill your guts fine. But no one,, no one has the right to ask those questions expecting an answer is owed. Now get back to being beautiful and enjoy your life. Someone will step up and accept you in time so relax and enjoy this wondrous ride we are on call life.
+Jenna08848 Thanks Jenna, that's a really good point and you're very right... it is a strange compulsion and one that only occurs occasionally in certain circumstances but even still. Ok I'm going to be tight lipped going forwards :I
Not to tight it will ruin that pretty smile and we can't have that. I will post some pictures of my Lotus down the line. I never knew much power a 2.2l turbo engine had.: >)
Charlotte, I couldn't agree more with you. Great assessment on your part. I am proud of who I am and yes it is a big part of my life. But it is not what makes me who I am or what makes me tick. I feel my transsexual status gives me a larger understanding of those around me and a way to look at myself for self review with open eyes. Thank you for your comment.
Very well said. You have overcome huge obstacles and should be proud of who you are. Your private life should I think only be told to the ones you really love.
I tell work, IF I need to for some reason. I tell any potential partner because they have a RIGHT to know what they are getting into. remember, no matter how well you blend in, there is never a guarantee that someone won't figure you out and start a scene. people have literally died because of such things, and non trans people who were with them were killed as well. every time you go out, you take a chance on being targeted for being Trans. anyone with you is also a target. the better you blend in, the less likely anything will happen, but there is ALWAYS a risk. I generally blend in just fine, but I have off days. but, I am ALWAYS armed (in one way or another) and practice situational awareness. and sometimes I out myself intentionally to people to prove a point. when you blend in just fine, and your peers don't know, that's a GREAT thing, it feels wonderful to not have any stigma from them. but, sometimes the subject of transsexuality comes up in your group, for whatever reason. Caitlin Jenner's VERY public coming out is a good example of how the subject can come up. When there are people in your group who show ignorance, you have an awesome opportunity to educate them. IF you have been a good friend, set as GOOD example, have shown good morals and values, outing yourself to them is very powerful. yes, you are taking a huge risk that they will freak out, there could even be violence. and the way they treat you WILL change. at first they won't believe you. there is a significant shock to their system. this is the time to explain to them that we are just normal people trying to live normal lives. that we are NOT the monsters and abominations that we have been painted to be. that we are NOT the prostitute pervert Faggot child molester immoral freaks that we are accused of being. and that there are soo many of us out there that they don't know about. others who blend in just as you do, leading normal lives. every time I have done this, it has made a difference, changed perspectives. and THAT is how's we change minds, gain allies, gain acceptance, gain rights.
Two thoughts. Here in the U.S.A., those of queer identity (I admit--I'm straight and boring, so I'm not up on the latest appropriate terms) tend to aggregate in the larger cities for the very reasons you discuss. In the most rabidly conservative states, there are thriving and vibrant communities in these cities where there are people who can support each other. A move sounds right for you, as scary as might be. You're a vibrant, interesting person, so you would thrive in such a place. (What happened to France?) Second--ever consider online dating? I know, it sounds gross and mechanical at first, but it would allow you to screen for people who can deal with you being trans. As much as one would hope it wouldn't be the case, random encounters are always going to be potentially problematic. There are men out there who are attracted to trans women and you, my lady, are kinda hot. Chin up.
I get it 100%, I'm homosexual and developing feelings for someone you know for a fact is not interested in same sex relationships really sucks, it feels almost hopeless.
Love will come . You are awesome and very brave to tell your story here WOW! Don't tell anyone but I think I love you too! You are very loveable!!! Your voice is so amazing fooooooo!
hang in there Charlie, it sounds like the loneliness of being trans continues. just when you give up on love is usually when you find it. I have moved and started new a few times in my life, always a good experience
Took the time to actually log onto the computer tonight (usually surf youtube on the xbox) just so I could say that I think you're an amazing person, and have great things ahead of you I'm sure! If someone can't see past your, well, past, and realise what a great catch you are, that's definitely their issue. FWIW, in relation to your comment, I'm a straight guy and I'd date you (well, if you weren't all the way 'cross the pond anyway!) Good things are coming your way, try to keep your chin up in the interim! :)
Los Angeles ("Ellay") and San Francisco ("EssEff") are great places to live, work, and meet people. New York could be good for the right personalty types, but I personally found it too lonely and depressing. And we absolutely LOVE a British accent.
Hi , I'm Linsey from Alaska. I just wanted to say I think you are an amazing woman and anyone would be luckiest person in the world to have you by their side. i myself am in transition , I am not as lucky as you ,because I started late in life in my 50s now but I and something out of it. Linsey Greene
ma'am i recently have been through this with a female and i am still sorer. It would be wonderful to go out with someone like you or even write Old FASHION letters to
I had a very similar experience recently while on holiday. I'm a hetero male and was in Montana. I met a spectacular woman but there was no romantic interest from her end. It has been heart-wrenching. But I was there long enough to fall in love with the area too. Currently I live in a very highly populated area and I'm considering moving there, which is VERY sparsely populated. I guess the moral of the story is to pursue your own happiness. With your soul and your looks, you deserve the best. As an aside, we have great surfing here in the States, and there's at least one hetero male who would love to ask you out...and he lives really close the beach. 😜
i know whats like to fall in love with someone and knowing you cant be with them she had a partner and was pregnant. i know its different to being trans but its still love at the end of the day.
I wouldn't mind being with someone like you, unfortunately I'm a sociopath and I know my interest is misplaced. Just some advice if someone ever becomes intrigued when you disclose your secret, watch out they might be like me.
Hello 💁, You have probably heard this before, but a loving relationship what ever form it may take is out there waiting for you and you just have to be patient, try out a few things and then recognise and act on the one when it does eventually come along. I guess I'm saying that you have to be patient. I think you should not be too hasty in telling people that you are trans, it would be the very worst thing if someone retaliated negatively towards you
I thought moving would help. me at one point, but all it really did was move the problem instead of solving it. I didn't transition to feel I would be restricted to the LGBT community. When I feel depressed I think about. moving and I tell myself how everything will be different, however the reality is that everything will be the same and all I will have done is run away. I feel that doing this again will enforce a pattern.
oops, hit post too early. One of the things that causes me to want to run more than any other is that a lot of people pretend to be accepting, they even proclaim it on Social Media, but they are not. They look for excuses not to be friends just so that they can sooth their guilt. I have found that transitioning has helped me see people for who they are and society for what it is. Most people suck. Sure there is some good, but the bottom line is still that most people suck. I also feel that although society has progressed a little, homophobia is still the entrenched point of view.
we moved to a new place it was the best thing that we did, we got to be just us wirh none of the baggage, and Brighton is a cool place but you can do this where you live now hun, you can make friends in a meaningful way there too it sounds like thst holiday you made a really good friend that I hope you keep for life we have all fallen for someone who turns out to be a really good friend in the end. it's totally fine trust me. do you have any really close trans friends Irl as I find having one in your life to be the best thing. I would look at a trans relationship too though they can be very intense and you both need to be In a simular place. also dating woman as a trans woman can be just as heart breaking but in a more suitable way just be careful wirh thst. I hope you find the happiness your looking for hun
+Kerri Green Thanks Kerri, that's really helpful - tbh I don't really have any trans people that I know locally... I only know a handful of people face to face but they are all over the place, two not even in the UK so I'm currently trying to meet a few in my area through my channel. It sounds weird I guess but it's something I've kind of overlooked (somehow?!!) throughout my transition, maybe I'm a bit of a loner at times but that's not by choice. I'm going to try and make some links in Brighton, get to know the place over the next 6 months and if all goes well aim to move there autumn next year once the race season is over, love the idea of being somewhere new but want to lay the foundations first :)
I'm actually writing a comedy novel written from the point of view of the female character and your videos are really helpful for me to get an insight into a womans mind. I still think you'd be better off with a straight local guy. You dress like a woman looking for a boyfriend not a girlfriend.
Brighton is great, lots going on for everyone. Great shopping, great clubs and lots to do to get out and about. When I was there in the 90's there was a lot going on for LGBT people as well as anyone else.
as o be won konobe says you have chosen this path i think you should rejoice in you re new found freedom how many people can just pick up and leave , wish i could baby sitting a 94 year old mommy probably out live me . carry on you are not doing so bad
+dom belardo Well it's still kind of complicated as I will be leaving my job (family business) which will go down badly, but I just want this so much right now... it's scary but exciting too, high hopes for 2016!! :D
Sincere videos are thought-provoking, like this one. I suspect you're gong through infatuation or lustful feelings for this guy, this lucky guy, Chase him to the bitter end and see were your judgment lands you. It takes weeks or, better, months to determine whether it's love. Love takes time to grow and that time allows a sorting out period where you can make more executive-like decisions. I'm sure there are dozens of your followers that, after months or years of keeping up with your are very fond of you and we envy this new guy's position. In short, you're breaking hearts all over the internet but being an object of love from this side of cyber space has no consequence to an attractive woman in the UK, or shouldn't. Ah, to be young and in love again. God! I sound like Dr. Phil.
gosh at least it isn't impossible. There's barriers but you can knock those down. My situation is so much worst. I'm in love with someone I shouldn't be. 33 yr age difference. I'm want to die.
Hang in there, you are so beautiful and sweet and you have a voice that is so warm and touching and speaking a as a guy would be so nice to have a woman in my life who could share or at least appreciate a guy passion (my is model railroading).Sometimes it feels like there all sorts of really loving and compatible people looking for a relationship, looking for closeness and looking for love who never seem to connect. You are every bit as much a woman as any woman as I have seen or met in my 64 years. Gosh, you were evening the military, don't you know how many nice guys would give almost anything for tehh woman in their life to appreciate and understand what the military service met to them. If I weren't so much older than you, married, and an ocean away, you sound like the perfect girl for me if you could tolerate a guy whose pudgy but cudly with couch potato tendencies. What I'm telling you is seek out whoever will make you happy but don't after something as a default, go after a relationship as an affirmative choice of where you want your life to go. Good luck beautiful. You sure fit the comments below, caring smart ,articulate, caring and I'd add intelligent, creative and full of courage and a willingness to task major challenges now for a brighter future/ Each of your Tubes shows a young woman who is a practical intellectual, who carefully thinks through and processes all the information before he before she talks and as a result always has sometime worth hearing when she speaks. Your videos are ALWAYS worth listening to, there is always a lesson about life that you teach me and I never walk away from one of your videos without my mind being challenged D, that and how stunningly beautiful you are and fact you drive a race car make you such an incredible RARE and DESIREABLE woman in a world full of copycats, yes people, me-twos and people who spout out the last thing they heard on the Telly or People magazine.
Charlie I think you need to stick with somebody that likes what you like in your racing career someone you can relate to it I’ll follow you in before you
Come to Fort Lauderdale Florida Charlie fun in the sun I could show you around and see if we can find someone that niche meet your standard good luck with your racing Charlie concentrate on that when you least expect it it will show up no worries, You can’t predict love it just happens
I see this video is a few years old but I certainly appreciate the vulnerability shared. You deserve to be loved Charlie. Just keep filling your life up with fun activities and positivity and love for life and others.
One of the most heart-rending ways to love is to feel the agony of unrequited love. I've gone through a somewhat similar situation over here. My heart goes out to you. I realise your video is 5 years old and by now you will have grown so much more into your own womanhood. Your heart wants what your heart wants. Your heart's desire and you will find each other. Cheers from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada.
Loneliness is so damning when it hits. This is so heartfelt.
Hi, I just wanted to say, after having watched several of your videos that you have made an amazing decision in how to change your life. You are an inspiration not only due to your transition, but also because you are willing to self-explore from an emotional perspective. I hope you find the happiness that you seek, you cannot help who you fall in love with, irrespective of how it will turn out. Maybe a change of location is indeed what you need. You seem to have already made your decision lol. Good luck with everything, you are a stunning person, physically and emotionally. Take care xx
Thank you :-)
Move to Brighton!! I live here. I moved here without knowing anyone and have been here almost 8 years now. My advice would be don't worry about the gender of who you fall in love with. I really see myself personally as pan sexual and it's much more about the person than their genitals and I think this is becoming a more accepted view now. I also imagine more men and women wouldn't care about you being trans here. I know quite a few trans people here and people don't really see their being trans as a big deal at all. One of my best friends is trans and he mainly dates men as so far he's only really been attracted to them. Also everyone get's lonely sometimes, it's hard but sounds like you're making really well thought choices and good steps so well done on that front :) keep up to fantastic work! xxx
you'll find someone perfect for you one day :3 and being trans shouldnt be a problem for anyone either, you're so beautiful and everything good luck to you :3
I struggled with how best to say what it is that I wanted to say, but suffice it that the essence of the message is that you deserve SOOOOOOOOO much to be cherished for the person you are. Granted I have only seen what i get to see on your vids, but it makes my heart ACHE that people you encounter (who you appear to freely offer your companionship, etc too) don't see what a diamond in the rough you truly are. I just think you are sooooo amazing, it makes me wish i was younger again, i would be camped on your doorstep trying to even get the chance to date such an awesome girl as you. If the ones that you encounter in your life journey are taken back that you are trans, then you just haven't met your true soul mate yet, one that WILL cherish you, worship the ground you walk on, and be thankful each and every day they get to spend on this earth with you. Maybe you need to find a Canadian like me that can see beyond things and see what a beautiful woman you really are, both inside and out. Thats my take on things. I love your vids and will continue to follow them as long as you allow us to accompany you on your life path.
Thanks for being SO honest with yourself and us, it's so tough to have these feels but they are, at least, a reminder that we CAN feel and how wonderful it will feel when the feelings are completely mutual.
Sending you a warm hug. I travel quite a lot in my line of work. meeting new people and exploring new places. It's like going to a new school. trying to do my job and fit in. I've made great friendships over the years, and still keep in touch with many of them. It's wonderful to hit it off with someone, and get close, but that being said. Unfulfilled expectations will always get us down. I cherish the experience and the moments that I've shared with my new acquaintances. You Will find someone. Someone who will fill the void you're feeling. You are warm, sensitive, and you drive Really cool cars. Hang in there sweetie. Brighton sounds like a Great plan.
warmest regards,
F.X.
+Francisco X. Perez Thankyou, I met someone just before Xmas and life is amaaaaaaazing now - I'm so happy so everything was definitely worth the wait! :D
It never ceases to amaze me how we humans can be blindsided by our emotions. I've been in a similar position in the past and it feels so helpless. Brighton is a cool place I've spent quite a bit of time there, great vibe nice people and good night life. Do what makes you happy hun there is no practice and qualifying for this life we only get one run so make it count. Love ya xx
I just discovered your channel. I'm with the love of my life and it took 40 years to find her.
You seem like a genuinely nice girl. Don't give up in finding that perfect person for you. They are waiting for you also. I see this video is 5 years old but, i feel like you're such a good person and you deserve to be happy ☺💙👊💯✔
That's where I've been for the last seven days now, torn apart between tears and happiness and deep hurt, in love for the first time in my life and trying to cope but not really wanting it to end right now. And as you I live in the middle of nowhere and consider moving as it's suddenly much to quiet here and as I want to enjoy all the changes I've gone through lately.
Thanks for your video and for sharing so much of yourself, it again really helps me at the right time!! *hugs*
Every body seeks out connections in life; it is part of the Human Condition. The need for intimacy in one of those connections is, by far the strongest of all. You are a beautiful woman with a heart warming smile and a genuinely engaging personality that will make friends and connections wherever you go, so just believe in your self. Make the changes that you feel are best and move to a place where life embraces you; don't settle for less, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
I just want to say you are a beautiful woman and should never look down at life. Some day you will look across a crowded room and see a face that will take you breath away and they will feel the same way, because you are a beautiful woman....period! You have a heart, soul, and the feeling of of a wonderful person. So never give up. You'll never be alone because I'm right there by your side. LOVE YA GIRL! xo steven
Oh God girl, I know this is now 7 years old but crikey I really empathized with you and was crying with you! I've not even got to the beautiful hormone stage yet either! Hugs x
Merry Christmas! I hope this Christmas season you are able to relish the greatest gift you could ever give yourself: your complete womanhood. I am so envious of you and there are many of us in You Tube land who care deeply for you. We care what happens to you. I know it isn't the same as having a flesh and blood person in your arms, but we do have feeling for you, as far away as we may be. Thank you for sharing the good times and the not so good times this year. I admire your ability and desire to bring us along on your journey. I saw a movie last night, The Sound of Music, and in it there is a saying I want to share with you: "When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." I think your feelings of loneliness right now are God's way of telling you it's time to move and develop more interaction with other people. I know loneliness always spurs me into action. Be kind to yourself right now, just as you would want others to be kind to you. You deserve love so for right now, love yourself in a special way. Buy something special for yourself or take yourself our for a special dinner. You are worth loving. God Bless.
It makes me really sad to see you cry. I can relate to going into a situation with your heart on your sleeve. Please don't " calculate" how to look for love. And don't be afraid stay open to people. Stay true to yourself and you'll find someone who is worthy enough to deserve you.
I definitely relate to that as a transwoman. I always doubt it’s just me being sensitive or people are actually scary. But I have been in that situation.
Seeing you pause a second when said you really enjoy being with the person, I can almost imagine what you are feeling because I really feel that frustration and the feeling of no one really blame but myself. Some people here don’t understand this is a feel may never go away and we have to learn to live with it.
Btw you are a transmom to me, I watched your videos for many years until last year I decide to start HRT. I am having my srs next month and wish me good luck !
That was very touching and brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for being so genuine.
100% move! I'm in the same situation; living in the middle of nowhere & knowing I need to leave & kinda start again somewhere to fully embrace life :) go for it! wishing you loads of positiive things xx
Feels pretty silly and strange to be sharing this, but - as you might say - this video is "spot on." I love my estradiol to which I attribute rarely being in a funk. But for some unknown reason, I am tonight - and it's for exactly the same reasons you're describing. I haven't wanted a significant other for quite some time. Now I'm realizing that I kind of do...but I don't have the faintest idea who that could be or even what species. Thanks for sharing your pain again. It helps. J
This was girl, sorry didn't really make that clear...
+a Girl for all seasons
We women are great, aren’t we?
Smart, articulate, attractive, and caring.
GoCharlie
My dear,
I hurt for you so much. Been there, done that. I so hope that you don’t have the dire aloneness in your life like I have had. You’re much younger, much more attractive and apparently well grounded than I so I suspect you shan’t. Please take my virtual hug. It’ll get better.
Oh yeah another commonality we share, I logged about 20,000 track miles myself. What fun! We should chat sometime. I follow you on the Twit.
Charlie have you won any races yet???
I really love your videos!! Thank you, I have followed your channel since the beginning of my transition because I love your honesty and personality. I hope you enjoy moving closer to the big city- you look so good as a country chick haha so make sure you still make time to get back into nature regularly! I live in the country too at the mo, and I totally understand your reasonings with wanting to go to a more populated area to live...Ill prob move into the city soon for similar reasons. I look forward to your next update!!
+Tabitha Cathro (Tabby) Thank you! Really glad you enjoy them :D Yes although I'm a country girl at heart I'm tired of the isolation and super excited about the idea of moving down south - I'm doing some career coaching to try and figure out what I should be aiming for as right now I have a lot of ideas but a bit lost too. I know there are quite a few things I could do as I've got quite a few strings to my bow, it may be a case of trying a few things first... Might try and write the book I've had on the back burner too!!
Blast, I hit the post button by mistake! Anyway as I was saying, it would not be nice for you if someone you told about your transitioning took offence in a negative way, I wouldn't like to think that you might be hurt physically or otherwise if you were to do this. Right, that said let's move on. My daughter lives in Brighton and she loves the place to bits. She studied at Uni there and stayed, she has been there for about ten years now. We love visiting her and staying in Brighton. You are sure to find a soul mate there!I want to move to France, but my wife does not. We moved from our house in a popular seaside town on the south coast to a tiny village in the countryside earlier this year. We lived in our previous house for 27 years and it was a hard choice to make, but move we did, not far a only about 25 miles but OMG what a difference. Village life is great for us.You seem to live in a rural place now and as you are a young woman, you would probably do well to move to Brighton as it has everything that you have described. I wish you well with what ever decision you make. Be happy because it will come right for you eventually.
Gone through this experience a few times in life myself. Unrequited love really is the most painful emotional experience I've been through, and so I sympathise with what you went through. You are a beautiful, intelligent, articulate woman and you will find the right person for you, have no doubt. I also don't feel that finding a male partner for the long term is going to be that hard once you move somewhere more populated, as there are a lot of us that don't differentiate between biological and transgender status if we are already attracted to you.
My sympathy is with you, I am in exactly the same situation. I am glad this person has come into my life, and woken me up to Love
Don't calculate. This don't mean you're looking for the "better" option, it means you quit some options without considering them.
Just listen to your heart. And when there's this special person, grab him/her and never let go!
If you feel you need a fresh start somewhere else, just follow your guts and do it. Don't give up on love. The journey might be sprinkled with deceptions but at the end, it's all worth it, beleive me :)
+Sara Daniels
I totally agree.
Some say that you have to try to live your life as best you can. If you are lucky, happiness will find you.
aww honey you are a bright young thing. I enjoy watching your videos, I am a 60 year old cis woman whose partner is currently transitioning from male to female age 50, we have been married for 20 years and i love this person dearly. You will find your life partner one day. I admire your courage, take care
Thank you for sharing, and I think you'll find someone for sure. Moving out of your home area could really help with that. I'm sorry to hear that you fell for a straight girl, that's the worst. Nothing to be done about it, but it's still really rough. But keep trying, you're a great person, you'll find someone.
I know being transgender is tough, especially when it comes to finding just the right person. it can be very difficult even when you do. I am currently with a transwoman so it is not only a new experience for me, but for her as well. Just imagine, two transwomen, both pre op, each with dysphoria, wanting to be intimate, but both not being able to because we both have parts we don't want to even look at, much less try to have an encounter with. The only reason we are together is that we are attracted to each other, we see each other as beautiful women, and are comfortable with each other knowing that we understand what the other is going through. One day we will be post op, and we will move to a new place, far from where we are, so we can get a fresh start as the we that we see. I have been watching you for a long time now, and I know that sooner or later, you will find your match, and you will find them as beautiful as you are now.
4:25 LOL sorry, I was reminded of my first crush after finding out I was transgender, there wasn''t much of "Do not develop these kind of feelings" around the person in question for me, I fell for her incredibly hard (and given the fact that she was basically the textbook example of unreachable, that did not help, next to the fact she probably estimated me a good amount of years younger as well).
The thing about not knowing where to find someone, I unfortunately have no advice for you there, and hearing you talking about loneliness cut through my soul like nothing else.
I tried a dating site for a while (a site that actually understands where to place "transgender" and all the options surrounding it, which made me feel positive) but after sending close to 100 "potentional partners" (the site's words) a message and only getting one response back from someone quite a bit younger than me who primarily thought I was pranking her because she thought I was younger than 18..... (I was 31 at the time).
Sorry this happened to you. You are beautiful and I know someone will realize how amazing you are. Thanks for making a video on my birthday. I'm almost on a year and a half , but not full time as me.I still don't have a partner of my own. You are awesome , hugs
Oh dear *hugs*
You really wear your heart on your sleeve and there's nothing wrong with that. You're right that being in an isolated spot means you're going to meet fewer decent people and, yes Brighton is a lively place. So... next thing is to plan the practical side of things - work and all that boring stuff.
Whatever you decide, and you should wait till the NY to do that, then you'll take the best wishes of us followers
I hope you find who and what you're looking for. Everyone deserves to find that happiness. You have the first step of knowing yourself; ya just got to find the other piece. Keep your chin up.
Just found your channel, I really have learned a lot from you and other simarlar channels.
Good luck with a move to Brighton, it's a great place but i find it a Bit of a scary place too because i'm not very City savvy. I did think of moving there myself but i don't think i could handle the place everyday so as I'm only 20 miles away i can visit from here. Keep your chin up.
Your videos are amazing. The racing is a great angle. I thought I had to give up racing. I am definitely getting back in
A good time is a lot easier to find than true love. Only the right fit will do for you. Don't settle. He's looking everywhere for you, all upset just like you.
Figured out where last night's (lingering) funk probably came from. A couple of days ago I made the rookie mistake of watching "Love Actually" again..ugh...ouch...whimper...
Still - too much to be grateful for to linger there.
There's so many, many experiences yet to explore. Yipppee!
Happy you had some time off and for yourself. Always fun!
❤👍
I've just started my transition (mtf) and I live in a small town in Alabama. I know the middle of nowhere struggle. I don't know how to meet people or date or anything. But, all of my loved ones tell me to keep my head up so you keep your head up too!
Iam tranny ( m to f) and i love aman have 2 wifes he is 51 old sport musle man full of manhood
telling people isent always necessary. but some, like a potential lover, have a RIGHT to know. telling is always a double edged sword, and sometimes you will get cut. but that is their loss, and certainly not yours, even if it hurts.
moving is almost always a good option. it lets you start over from scratch. but it takes money to move and time to get established. I like that you are staying out of London. being out in NOWHERE, sucks, there isent anything to do, and no one to do it with. but in a big city, there are sky-high cost of living expenses, and an excess of crime. I like being just outside the outskirts of a small city. you have your quiet, your lower expenses, less crime, and you can still have a night out in the city with just a half hour drive.
loneliness.... how do we handle this? I transitioned 19 years ago, and I STILL don't know if I want a man, a woman, a Trans, or even if it matters one or the other. I have had them all, more than once, and it still hasent worked out. I am 48 years old, and aside from being married for 8 years, before I transitioned, I have been mostly alone. my total time "with" significant others, all added up would span about 14 years. that makes almost 2 decades of loneliness. then, I was an outcast the whole time I was growing up. that tacks on another decade+. I don't even care anymore. if someone comes along, OK. if not, eeh just as good. does my being Trans contribute to my being alone? you betcha it does. we are not of the norm, it's not fair, but that is the hand we have been dealt. and by transitioning, you signed yourself up to a potential lifetime of loneliness. and you should have known this before transition. you should have considered the possibility that you may be alone for life.
however...
times ARE changing. and there ARE accepting people out there. my last boyfriend Diden't care one bit that I was trans. my last girlfriend Diden't care one bit that I was trans. and of course, none of my Trans girlfriends cared either... we walk through a minefield to find them, there is no doubt about it. but, taking control of your emotions, helps. know that going into a relationship does not mean you have to fall head over heels in love. it's not a bad thing to have shields around your heart in the beginning. and remember it goes both ways, you don't have to just settle for someone, you can be choosy too. I broke up with my last girlfriend. I broke up with her because, after I got to KNOW her, I found her to be, not a very nice person. she wasent particularly mean to ME, but she was to others. people who diden't deserve her venom. not all whom would have you, are worthy of having you. it's harder for us. no doubt about that. but you are beautiful, your voice is good, you have friends, a job, and a good head on your shoulders. it might take a while, but I think that you will do just fine. don't LOOK for someone. eventually, someone will find you. good luck Sister. *hug*
I have recently broken up with my boyfriend so, I am quiet heartbroken myself at the moment too. It is soooo very hard and that feeling of am I going to be lonely forever does suck. Apparently so, I have been told that only when you are totally happy within yourself and within yourself then you will attract someone that is worthy into your life. So, for now I am just going to try and get happy within and with myself. I am not going to look and I hope that someone will find me when the time comes but, for now I am just going to find myself first. Life is very difficult and complicated but, at least we have roofs over our heads and food in our bellies. A sea change to Brighton would most likely do you some good. Do, you have some friends in Brighton or would this be a totally new beginning??? I moved in August this year but, am still not happy. I am thinking that I would love a country change but, I unfortunately can not afford to do so, oh well such is life. I would love a little farm with a little house and some goats,maybe a baby calf,a horse, a lamb and a couple of cats and a couple of dogs and maybe some chooks too and maybe some donkeys too lol. Oh well I can only dream lol. But, seriously I think that a sea change would be really really good for you. I say go for the move to Brighton. A change is as good as a holiday apparently. Well you've had the holiday now go for the sea change. I need a holiday sooo bad. Well best of luck with it all. Brighton here you comeXxxOoo ☺
life never designates whom you may love, as long as you are happy and comfortable with your relationships. Sometimes, love is a cruel mistress, you'll have to deal with your heart and your head all at the same time, and be able to deal with your choices. Sometimes, I ramble. Baby girl, don't cry, you'll get frown lines...
I really like your videos. Keep them coming.
don't rush to settle with anyone, live, love laugh, I think that post is the final adjustment from loving as a MTF to loving as a woman, its only when we let go of the old ways the new growth shoots away, your so young and well, nice, I think there que for a chance to be with you. I ended up with a female partner it was very different from before the change and its more fun, go out and have fun, its not so urgent, you English do worry alot. New zealand is a beautiful place with a nice climate and great surf, we love too have you here.
Aww Sweetheart I am so sorry your heart broken, please don't beat yourself up It will happen just give it time , with love from over the big pond :)
awwww bless you your so sweet love your videos I know what it's like to fall for wrong person tour amazing keep going you have helped me a lot xx
Please don't take offense to my next statement. It is a phenomena that is quite common in the T community , especially in post op trans folk. It has always perplexed me. Why do we as a group feel compelled almost as if it is out of our control to spill our past. Is it validation? guilt feelings,? feeling we committed a crime?, justifying who we are? All of this or something else? I just don't get it. I get a person who isn't blending well may feel compelled to out themselves but folks hidden in plain sight doing so just confuses me. No one on this planet needs an explanation of who we are or our past. Prisoners don't walk out of jail and say Hi there my name is Joe,, I just got released from prison for killing ten people. It just doesn't happen,, Hi my name is Betty I have herpes nice to met you. So why do we feel this compulsion? We as a group need to stop doing this as a way to justify our existence. We owe no explanation. I have two close T friends that cause themselves all kinds of turmoil because they cant just shut up and leave it alone. I even warn one of them to never do it while in my company. You are a beautiful talent women and need to accept that and expect society to see and treat you as such. Stop selling yourself short. I get it if you are about to slip between the sheets with someone,, or answering a question about your past if you feel its in order to spill your guts fine. But no one,, no one has the right to ask those questions expecting an answer is owed. Now get back to being beautiful and enjoy your life. Someone will step up and accept you in time so relax and enjoy this wondrous ride we are on call life.
+Jenna08848 Thanks Jenna, that's a really good point and you're very right... it is a strange compulsion and one that only occurs occasionally in certain circumstances but even still. Ok I'm going to be tight lipped going forwards :I
Not to tight it will ruin that pretty smile and we can't have that.
I will post some pictures of my Lotus down the line. I never knew much power a 2.2l turbo engine had.: >)
Charlotte, I couldn't agree more with you. Great assessment on your part. I am proud of who I am and yes it is a big part of my life. But it is not what makes me who I am or what makes me tick. I feel my transsexual status gives me a larger understanding of those around me and a way to look at myself for self review with open eyes. Thank you for your comment.
Very well said. You have overcome huge obstacles and should be proud of who you are. Your private life should I think only be told to the ones you really love.
I tell work, IF I need to for some reason.
I tell any potential partner because they have a RIGHT to know what they are getting into. remember, no matter how well you blend in, there is never a guarantee that someone won't figure you out and start a scene. people have literally died because of such things, and non trans people who were with them were killed as well. every time you go out, you take a chance on being targeted for being Trans. anyone with you is also a target. the better you blend in, the less likely anything will happen, but there is ALWAYS a risk. I generally blend in just fine, but I have off days. but, I am ALWAYS armed (in one way or another) and practice situational awareness.
and sometimes I out myself intentionally to people to prove a point. when you blend in just fine, and your peers don't know, that's a GREAT thing, it feels wonderful to not have any stigma from them. but, sometimes the subject of transsexuality comes up in your group, for whatever reason. Caitlin Jenner's VERY public coming out is a good example of how the subject can come up. When there are people in your group who show ignorance, you have an awesome opportunity to educate them. IF you have been a good friend, set as GOOD example, have shown good morals and values, outing yourself to them is very powerful. yes, you are taking a huge risk that they will freak out, there could even be violence. and the way they treat you WILL change. at first they won't believe you. there is a significant shock to their system. this is the time to explain to them that we are just normal people trying to live normal lives. that we are NOT the monsters and abominations that we have been painted to be. that we are NOT the prostitute pervert Faggot child molester immoral freaks that we are accused of being. and that there are soo many of us out there that they don't know about. others who blend in just as you do, leading normal lives. every time I have done this, it has made a difference, changed perspectives. and THAT is how's we change minds, gain allies, gain acceptance, gain rights.
I am a transgender woman and had grs . And in the same position sounds like a good idea Charlie xx
I'm so impressed by your ceradge. I truly wish. I had your strength.
Two thoughts. Here in the U.S.A., those of queer identity (I admit--I'm straight and boring, so I'm not up on the latest appropriate terms) tend to aggregate in the larger cities for the very reasons you discuss. In the most rabidly conservative states, there are thriving and vibrant communities in these cities where there are people who can support each other. A move sounds right for you, as scary as might be. You're a vibrant, interesting person, so you would thrive in such a place. (What happened to France?) Second--ever consider online dating? I know, it sounds gross and mechanical at first, but it would allow you to screen for people who can deal with you being trans. As much as one would hope it wouldn't be the case, random encounters are always going to be potentially problematic. There are men out there who are attracted to trans women and you, my lady, are kinda hot. Chin up.
Let life and love happen naturaly and it will...much love and respect
I get it 100%, I'm homosexual and developing feelings for someone you know for a fact is not interested in same sex relationships really sucks, it feels almost hopeless.
Love will come . You are awesome and very brave to tell your story here WOW! Don't tell anyone but I think I love you too! You are very loveable!!! Your voice is so amazing fooooooo!
hang in there Charlie, it sounds like the loneliness of being trans continues. just when you give up on love is usually when you find it. I have moved and started new a few times in my life, always a good experience
You are so awesome. I'm having such a difficult time trying to be the real me. I wish I had more resources
you are the best,i lived in brighton.go for it girl
move to Eugene Oregon. there is a drag show at wayward lamb every Friday
Falling in love is a choice. It isn't about should or shouldn't. Learn to to make better choices.
Took the time to actually log onto the computer tonight (usually surf youtube on the xbox) just so I could say that I think you're an amazing person, and have great things ahead of you I'm sure! If someone can't see past your, well, past, and realise what a great catch you are, that's definitely their issue. FWIW, in relation to your comment, I'm a straight guy and I'd date you (well, if you weren't all the way 'cross the pond anyway!) Good things are coming your way, try to keep your chin up in the interim! :)
Los Angeles ("Ellay") and San Francisco ("EssEff") are great places to live, work, and meet people. New York could be good for the right personalty types, but I personally found it too lonely and depressing. And we absolutely LOVE a British accent.
Hi , I'm Linsey from Alaska. I just wanted to say I think you are an amazing woman and anyone would be luckiest person in the world to have you by their side. i myself am in transition , I am not as lucky as you ,because I started late in life in my 50s now but I and something out of it. Linsey Greene
ma'am i recently have been through this with a female and i am still sorer. It would be wonderful to go out with someone like you or even write Old FASHION letters to
This Texan teally hopesd you will write a book so i can read it and learn about you. There are many many questions and things i would love to know
I had a very similar experience recently while on holiday. I'm a hetero male and was in Montana. I met a spectacular woman but there was no romantic interest from her end. It has been heart-wrenching. But I was there long enough to fall in love with the area too. Currently I live in a very highly populated area and I'm considering moving there, which is VERY sparsely populated. I guess the moral of the story is to pursue your own happiness. With your soul and your looks, you deserve the best.
As an aside, we have great surfing here in the States, and there's at least one hetero male who would love to ask you out...and he lives really close the beach. 😜
Best wishes, your future will work out
i know whats like to fall in love with someone and knowing you cant be with them she had a partner and was pregnant. i know its different to being trans but its still love at the end of the day.
I use to live in Walsby, Lincolnshire after from living in London for 2 yrs. Population of about 100 people
You give me such good vibes!
I wouldn't mind being with someone like you, unfortunately I'm a sociopath and I know my interest is misplaced. Just some advice if someone ever becomes intrigued when you disclose your secret, watch out they might be like me.
Hello 💁, You have probably heard this before, but a loving relationship what ever form it may take is out there waiting for you and you just have to be patient, try out a few things and then recognise and act on the one when it does eventually come along. I guess I'm saying that you have to be patient. I think you should not be too hasty in telling people that you are trans, it would be the very worst thing if someone retaliated negatively towards you
I thought moving would help. me at one point, but all it really did was move the problem instead of solving it.
I didn't transition to feel I would be restricted to the LGBT community.
When I feel depressed I think about. moving and I tell myself how everything will be different, however the reality is that everything will be the same and all I will have done is run away. I feel that doing this again will enforce a pattern.
oops, hit post too early.
One of the things that causes me to want to run more than any other is that a lot of people pretend to be accepting, they even proclaim it on Social Media, but they are not. They look for excuses not to be friends just so that they can sooth their guilt.
I have found that transitioning has helped me see people for who they are and society for what it is. Most people suck. Sure there is some good, but the bottom line is still that most people suck.
I also feel that although society has progressed a little, homophobia is still the entrenched point of view.
I believe there is a song about this en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ever_Fallen_in_Love_(With_Someone_You_Shouldn't've)
th-cam.com/video/0Af7ayYIJ9w/w-d-xo.html
Broken heart ❤️ I feel you
Brighton is Fab love it xx
we moved to a new place it was the best thing that we did, we got to be just us wirh none of the baggage, and Brighton is a cool place but you can do this where you live now hun, you can make friends in a meaningful way there too it sounds like thst holiday you made a really good friend that I hope you keep for life we have all fallen for someone who turns out to be a really good friend in the end. it's totally fine trust me. do you have any really close trans friends Irl as I find having one in your life to be the best thing. I would look at a trans relationship too though they can be very intense and you both need to be In a simular place. also dating woman as a trans woman can be just as heart breaking but in a more suitable way just be careful wirh thst. I hope you find the happiness your looking for hun
+Kerri Green Thanks Kerri, that's really helpful - tbh I don't really have any trans people that I know locally... I only know a handful of people face to face but they are all over the place, two not even in the UK so I'm currently trying to meet a few in my area through my channel. It sounds weird I guess but it's something I've kind of overlooked (somehow?!!) throughout my transition, maybe I'm a bit of a loner at times but that's not by choice. I'm going to try and make some links in Brighton, get to know the place over the next 6 months and if all goes well aim to move there autumn next year once the race season is over, love the idea of being somewhere new but want to lay the foundations first :)
try and stay happy.
I'm actually writing a comedy novel written from the point of view of the female character and your videos are really helpful for me to get an insight into a womans mind. I still think you'd be better off with a straight local guy. You dress like a woman looking for a boyfriend not a girlfriend.
Brighton is great, lots going on for everyone. Great shopping, great clubs and lots to do to get out and about. When I was there in the 90's there was a lot going on for LGBT people as well as anyone else.
I hope that you don't mind my saying this..you are a beautiful and articulate woman..very attractive in a person..😊😊😊
Because they’re not taking with their heart you’re thinking with your brain if I had the chance I would love you
as o be won konobe says you have chosen this path i think you should rejoice in you re new found freedom how many people can just pick up and leave , wish i could baby sitting a 94 year old mommy probably out live me . carry on you are not doing so bad
+dom belardo Well it's still kind of complicated as I will be leaving my job (family business) which will go down badly, but I just want this so much right now... it's scary but exciting too, high hopes for 2016!! :D
Fantastic sweetheart. Wishing you much happiness.
I know how you feel, I cry too 😢
You come across really well and are really pretty, you will find someone, keep going! Perhaps try dating sites.
Sincere videos are thought-provoking, like this one. I suspect you're gong through infatuation or lustful feelings for this guy, this lucky guy, Chase him to the bitter end and see were your judgment lands you. It takes weeks or, better, months to determine whether it's love. Love takes time to grow and that time allows a sorting out period where you can make more executive-like decisions. I'm sure there are dozens of your followers that, after months or years of keeping up with your are very fond of you and we envy this new guy's position. In short, you're breaking hearts all over the internet but being an object of love from this side of cyber space has no consequence to an attractive woman in the UK, or shouldn't. Ah, to be young and in love again. God! I sound like Dr. Phil.
gosh at least it isn't impossible. There's barriers but you can knock those down. My situation is so much worst. I'm in love with someone I shouldn't be. 33 yr age difference. I'm want to die.
thanx for reply love that tough choice ,but you have it to make
Damn you Shannon.
Hang in there gorgeous. There will be someone out there for you. How could there not be.😍🥰😀
Yeah loneliness sucks 😢
Fox Fisher's based in Brighton :)
hugs from los angeles.
Hang in there, you are so beautiful and sweet and you have a voice that is so warm and touching and speaking a as a guy would be so nice to have a woman in my life who could share or at least appreciate a guy passion (my is model railroading).Sometimes it feels like there all sorts of really loving and compatible people looking for a relationship, looking for closeness and looking for love who never seem to connect. You are every bit as much a woman as any woman as I have seen or met in my 64 years. Gosh, you were evening the military, don't you know how many nice guys would give almost anything for tehh woman in their life to appreciate and understand what the military service met to them. If I weren't so much older than you, married, and an ocean away, you sound like the perfect girl for me if you could tolerate a guy whose pudgy but cudly with couch potato tendencies. What I'm telling you is seek out whoever will make you happy but don't after something as a default, go after a relationship as an affirmative choice of where you want your life to go. Good luck beautiful. You sure fit the comments below, caring smart ,articulate, caring and I'd add intelligent, creative and full of courage and a willingness to task major challenges now for a brighter future/ Each of your Tubes shows a young woman who is a practical intellectual, who carefully thinks through and processes all the information before he before she talks and as a result always has sometime worth hearing when she speaks. Your videos are ALWAYS worth listening to, there is always a lesson about life that you teach me and I never walk away from one of your videos without my mind being challenged D, that and how stunningly beautiful you are and fact you drive a race car make you such an incredible RARE and DESIREABLE woman in a world full of copycats, yes people, me-twos and people who spout out the last thing they heard on the Telly or People magazine.
I am in Manchester now
Charlie I think you need to stick with somebody that likes what you like in your racing career someone you can relate to it I’ll follow you in before you
Charlie. Take way you are my DINO. You make me cry because i feel sorry for. You o don't care if are a trans you are another human person
Come to Fort Lauderdale Florida Charlie fun in the sun I could show you around and see if we can find someone that niche meet your standard good luck with your racing Charlie concentrate on that when you least expect it it will show up no worries, You can’t predict love it just happens
Muah😍😍😍😍