This is my WEIRD life as a Bipolar musician
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ส.ค. 2024
- My life living with bipolar disorder has been an interesting one to say the least. Ever since I got diagnosed I've been looking back over the years to find obvious episodes of depression and mania and how they've both affected the way I have produced music or navigated my career as a musician. Most people have heard the stories from artists like Selena Gomez or Kanye West so I thought it would be interesting for mental health awareness month to do my own interview and explain what some of my manic episodes have been like, how the low's affecting my music production and songwriting, and the wave that happens between the 2 when I'm not medicated by the glorious lithium.
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Thanks for watching.
- Lxgend (aka IAMLXGEND) - เพลง
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For those that don't know there are several types of bipolar disorder but the two most common are bipolar 1 and bipolar 2. They are really different bipolar 2 is marked by more depression and people will experience hypomania, the stage before mania. Bipolar 1 people experience psychosis delusions, hallucinations, hearing voices in full blown mania. Both disorders are life threatening without medication. I hope more people understand the severity of this illness in the future. ❤
Thank you for clarifying, most of these videos I will be posting will be just me expressing my experiences so I know I will definitely miss a lot of the nuance and proper differentiation. But absolutely important differences to note and be aware of.
I was doing some research as a musician with Bipolar 1 and came across this video, I felt so alone and misunderstood until I found this video, thank you for telling your story ❤
Thank you for making this. I have a mood disorder too and I am trying to find ways to get my music out there but failing spectacularly! I have delusions that I have reached more people than I have, but in reality I have double or single digit plays. My sense of self is like its smeared all over the place. You know, its like your video is made for me! I don't want to be famous, I want to be a musician. But in my mind like you said in the video I think sliced bread has nothing on me. Thanks again for talking about what others don't.
Thank you for sharing an intimate part of your life. The human behind the music is the real genius. You're inspiring me to create again. Thank you.
"English is annoying", I felt that punch my lungs. Too true...
Thanks again for sharing these things about yourself, even though you don't have to.
I wish you all the best bro. ^-^
Love you💙
Thanks for sharing opening up and being vulnerable with your audience. Very inspiring
That makes two of us. I was diagnosed as bipolar II 22 years ago. While I was able to do a lot during manic phases, the crashes and depression were the worst. I was initially diagnosed with major depression because I was heavily depressed and in a mental health facility when first seen. At that time, I was given an anti-depressant that sent me into a nearly two year bout of mostly mania and hypomania until I got a proper diagnosis and the right medication. Gradually, I became stable and generally don't suffer too many symptoms. I still cycle into hypomania but it's nearly impossible for me to be depressed while on medication (Lamictal and Cymbalta).
I've learned to live with this and in my case, I've had to make a lot of concessions in terms of lifestyle to maintain my health. I still struggle to recognize when I'm headed towards mania and try to rely on my support system to keep me in line. I don't want to return to life before I found a working treatment. Those who haven't suffered with this illness often don't know how horrible and destructive it can be. When it comes to my wife, I want it to stay that way.
This video represents so many of us. Thank you dude..
i cried when i watched this because i ddint understand myself. Now hearing you speak on this.. its opening my eyes to whats going on with me.. being impulsive ..not thinking.. the crashing.. manic shit always seems right.. the abandonment. dam this shit hit me hard. Now im trying to figure out how to cope with this and live a regular life. it seems like everyone lacks understanding so they just either disappoint or randomly leave me alone
Have you been diagnosed? If not, you def should see a specialist before jumping the gun because what you’re experiencing could be a multitude of things. Sometimes it’s a brain chemistry thing, sometimes it’s a personality disorder, sometimes it can be both. Sometimes it can be physical issues that cause you to be that way like thyroid issues. I can’t stress enough. Because there are specific ways to treat these symptoms depending what you have, IF you have something: and of course I’m not saying you don’t or do, I just want to make sure I communicate very strongly that you seek professional assistance first regarding these things you experience, tell them what you’ve experienced, and let them give you a clearer picture at what’s really happening with you.
I totally relate to and understand everything you said. And it’s one on of the many reasons I decided to go to a therapist in the first place.
Coping can’t come entirely until you know what you have but no one online can tell you that. There are different types of things you can look into like CBT and DBT (cognitive behavioral therapy & dialectical behavioral therapy). They will help a LOT and are good for any person to learn the skills of. But if it’s something mentally wrong or physically wrong You’ll have to seek help from a doctor. Psychiatrist / therapist / psychologist.
Thank you for sharing your journey. I received my Bipolar 1 diagnosis, along with a few others Fall of 2022, while I was going through the Social Security Disability process, didn't see that coming 😂
Bipolar Disorder can look like the horrible way it's depicted in media, but it can also be more subtle and just feel like you have a really quirky way of being in the world. I was the second way, so at first I didn't accept the diagnosis, but really doing self introspection I saw it clear as day over 4 decades.
Still have episodes, but because of meds and therapy, those episodes are much shorter and not as intense.
Occasionally I have to return things to Bestbuy or Amazon because I quickly realize they were hypomanic purchases😅
As someone with bipolar 1 and a musician I can completely resonate with your situation. It’s great to see a musician with bipolar disorder sharing their experience, it’s been hard for me to find people I can relate to. Wish you the best on this journey 👊🏾
bro ... i can related... i went manic one day and reached out to the weeknds creative director for help. he got back to me within minutes telling me where to get help. I listened but then a few weeks passed and the weeknd drops DAWN fm... the last song on the album, less than zero... it felt like a direct response to my messages... the emotional high caused me to hurl deeper into my manic episode. Another artist stepped in to catch the fall but i've been recovering solo since slowly... i feel you bro... internally dying over here but, this is the industry, learn to adapt and join the bigger conversation and love it
Thank you for making this video. I’d love to see more like this! 🤍🙌🏻
Every Monday! (Or Tuesday If I’m lagging). But I plan to post these weekly or bi-weekly. I’m so glad they’re resonating
Sounds like you are blessed with a swinging brain, I wish you peace and balance in your mental journey 👍🏿❤️🌻
Listening to you talk about this is very motivating and inspiring. Even though you are dealing with the High Highs and low lows you still keep pushing and that to me is awesome to see, you didn't accept defeat. Bro just know that I am praying for you. Nuff love.
Always appreciated your ongoing support man and trust me, I do feel it. 🙏🏾 it’s part of what keeps that fire burning in me to push when necessary or rest when I need to recharge to come back strong.
I’ve been diagnosed wit bipolar depression and I’m into music u speaking fast sometimes I doubt myself sometimes it take me weeks to finish one song because ion feel motivated or I feel it ain’t good enough and never drop it but I have my hood moment too when I’m confident
Thanks for sharing man and speaking so honestly I’ve got it too and it’s nice to have someone to relate to, wish you the best
Trust me, part of the reason I am going to speak more openly about this (usually every Monday or every other Monday) is because I want to find people I can relate to also 😅 it feels good to be able to speak candidly about my experiences and move through my journey As all of this is new to me. So I appreciate you even commenting this
It's nice to know I'm not alone. Hang in there man.
Likewise and one of the main reasons I wanted to share!
Praying for you man! You’re going to pull through this situation! ❤️ I wouldn’t be where I am today without watching your videos!
I want to let you know that your music doesn’t suck you have touched a lot of people. You are good enough you are better enough. Things may not seem to be Good rn but it will 🙏🏼❤️
The cure is to make music every day, write every day and set yourself a goal and stick to it as best you can!!!!
Keep it coming ❤ we love you 🥰
Thank you and I love y’all too 🙏🏾🙏🏾
I don't think it's Weird at all it's, It's just another part about being human, in the words of the artist Seal " In a world full of people only some learn to fly isn't that crazy?"
Very true and I mostly use the word for the sake of driving clicks 😂 however I will say it’s been quite a weird experience going backwards and seeing the blatant oblivious evidence and clues I’ve left behind in my songs and even TH-cam videos. Kinda eye opening.
Thanks for sharing bro! Thus is true, I was diagnosed with manic anxiety and depression and slight bipolar disorder to the point I am on medication. So it was good to see you speak about it and continue to share your story. I hope one day I will have the courage to speak about it. I haven't had the courage to go to therapy yet, although my doctor and psychiatrist recommended me a therapist....appreciate you sharing!!
Part of the reason I believe I am even able to feel comfortable enough to share is because I am medicated (for one lol) and 2 because I’ve seen a therapist. Even with him I remember I held back for a few weeks some of the things I’d experienced but having a professional to speak to without judgement can dramatically change the way you feel you’re able to express yourself to others, should you choose to do so. This will be an ongoing thing, as I find part of the therapeutic experience for me is expression. So I’m glad to hear from you regarding this.
I feel you bro, I hope that one day you make it. It's weird I have somewhat of the opposite problem, I always think too lowly of myself, and it makes it really hard whenever I have to perform, but when I push myself I discover that I am not as bad as I thought, then I kind of reset and continue to think of myself lowly again, I'm not sure if that's bipolar too but it's interesting to see our problems as creative people. It's interesting that I for example start doing everything thinking nothing of myself and creating through the suffering of knowing that it might not be that great, but I feel grateful in the end that it's not as bad as I thought, even if it's not the best thing on earth, even if it'll not make me famous, I enjoyed creating it. The pressure of the people I listen to makes me inspired and also removes the blindfold that has I'm decent written on it, but in the end, I just make the art not caring about the outcome, but trying to do it because I love it, and try to perfect it and experiment with anything and everything, yes it might not make me money today or tomorrow, but it's constantly creating joy, and I'm not claiming to be a big artist or to ever become a great artist, and I surprisingly don't care about being a great artist, the only thing I care about is making music and that's it, and when you have this mindset and you get the dose of doubt that creep in your head, you just keep going and create despite your brain and what you feel, and not care if it'll blow up or not, you just care about giving every piece your all because you're loving it. And experiment with it and think of yourself as a student and an explorer of awesomeness rather than the next big thing and the next Michael Jackson, and you will gradually get to a level where you're grateful, I've been doing this for probably 2 years so far, I went through ups and downs within my development as an artist and my mindset has always been that I'm trash and not a lot of people might like my art, but I don't care I will not stop because I enjoy exploring, experimenting, and learning new things as a creative because it sates my creative hunger, because I wake up everyday and kind of have an appetite for creating a beat, a song, a graphic, whatever. And it might not be the best but I never care about being the best, but whenever I look back at what I create now vs back then, I feel like a trillion bucks for me if I never blow up as an artist I just consider myself as someone that made it because of that feeling and progression, and it might not be the fastest progression in the world, but it doesn't matter what matters is the feeling that it gives me. It's important to not compare yourself to anyone and have an open mind about your progression and yourself. Today you might feel like shit maybe a year from now you're the greatest artist in the world because progression is not always linear, so don't hold yourself back with expectations, just create because of the love of creating music rather than to make something that sells or gets money or gets validation, trust me this mindset might seem idiotic for most people because most people I talk with about it tell me I'm delusional, but sometimes what may seem as delusion is the absolute reality, and what seems like the way to go like trying to be the best artist, or trying to get the bag was the delusion all along, and that's not what most of us sign for, but this is real life, and whenever you release yourself from the pressure deluded expectations of self and not expect much of yourself, and stop thinking linearly about outcomes, and start following your unique path as an artist by going with the flow and releasing all pressure, and never giving up whenever you get these doubts, trust me you're going to make it no matter who you're it just takes releasing expectations and following the unique path to the end without ever giving up.
Keep keeping on brother! I like your songs and your videos! God bless you! Praying for you! Have you done any gospel songs?
This kind of insight is really amazing, especially from an artistic point of view. How all of these things that are part of us and we live with have an effect on what we create. One of my favorite artists DPR Ian is also bipolar and he refers to this in his music and talks about it in some interviews. Really interesting stuff 👏
I’ll def have to check out some of his stuff because I find it very intriguing. I was diagnosed about 2-3 months ago and still I’m being a detective trying to find every clue that has been around in my life by way of my songs or TH-cam videos. They’re all over the place. It’s crazy to still be learning about yourself even years later.
Keep Fighting King!
All there is to do!
Verse 1. Don’t start verse 1 by telling the listener how you’re feeling. It’s too soon. You’d be trying to elicit a response from the audience, and you haven’t given them anything to commiserate with you about. Use this verse to set the stage, to tell the listener mainly what the situation in your life is, and mention your own emotional response only as it plays a part in that story. This part of your song should be you saying, “This is what’s happening.”
The bars leading up to the chorus (“pre-chorus“, or “rise“) should be a place where you can start to modify your lyric. It’s as if you want to say, “I can’t believe this is happening to me!” Allow more emotional response to come through.
The chorus should allow you to open up more fully, emotionally-speaking. It’s your chance to say, “This is how I’m feeling.”
The second verse is still narrative, but you can interject more emotion-based observations into your lyric. After all, the listener has already heard your emotional response, so while you are expanding on the story, you can allow more of the emotion to come through.
The lyric of the second chorus is usually identical to the first, but if it’s different, allow for deeper emotions on key words, and perhaps move the melody higher on certain key emotion-laden words.
The bridge needs to expand on how you’re feeling, and in addition, the bridge can be a great place to add to the story you’ve set up in verses 1 and 2. Perhaps consider alternating observations-based lyrical lines with emotional-response-based lines. Can the bridge and pre chorus can be part of the story iamlxgend? Because according to emastered.com/blog/verse-vs-chorus#:~:text=Every%20songwriter%20knows%20that%20the%20chorus%20and%20verse,of%20the%20song%20in%20collaboration%20with%20one%20another.
There are similarities about verse and chorus and it said Similarities of Verse And Chorus
The chorus and verse are different in a lot of ways, but there are also a lot of similarities between the two parts. It makes sense to note the similarities of choruses and verses so that you're able to build songs with different yet cohesive sections.
They're Both Important Parts of A Song's Basic Structure.
The two sections are equally important since they both serve the overall goal of a song. While a chorus may be more memorable, a verse tells more of a song's story, setting up the payoff for the catchy chorus. A verse and chorus can connect deeply with a listener and work in tandem to create a strong piece of music.
They Both Incorporate Rhyme.
One of the best ways to make a song memorable is to incorporate rhyme. Fortunately, both the chorus and verse utilize a strong rhyme scheme in order to maximize a listener's retention of a song.
The Verse And Chorus Help The Listener Attach To A Song.
Every songwriter knows that the chorus and verse are essential. These parts may be different, but at the same time, they both serve the main story of the song in collaboration with one another.
As you can see, the chorus and verse are both essential to a successful song even though they have their fair share of differences. Hopefully, this guide makes it easier for you to decode these essential songwriting tools so that you can start crafting better songs. Enjoy writing tracks with a memorable verse and chorus! And in your own words is the verse and chorus can be both part of the story and also in your own words can the bridge and pre chorus can be part of your story?
Write for yourself and it is yours. Release it and that song will then be molded and perceived by your listeners and just let them deal with liking or disliking it.
The music is fire dude. I have been writing music and playing shows since I can remember but I am old school and because I am old school ...areas of my songs are tailored for the listeners. That isn't always good nor bad. I can't find myself completing this album and I have written at least 400 songs that will just go into my bottom drawer because they I either (**in my opinion**) too good where I don't want them for anyone else or I just don't think they fit the overall theme and direction. I would love to tell you a great "INSERT INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE HERE" and hope my advice would maybe encourage you to just take one more step toward your dream. But I can't because I'd be lying to myself and you. However, I am good friends with failure, and find it necessary for the journey.
"At least the view from rock bottom keeps you grounded."
~ me
TOP
Man 360 awesome song
Who knew it would essentially be my theme song even to this day lol “everything moves in cycles”
thanks this was great and honest. I relate. Just wondering if you have sleep issues and if so, how you deal with it? Wishing you all the best :)
You sound brave, keep up bro, ps :try eating whole grain rice every day (a little bowl with soy sauce and grilled sezam oil) ! Macrobiotic diet really helped me !! I'm 10 years in now ! Read George Ohsawa !
Ok..Interesting..But I Saw and I Think That Almost Several Musician It Has Suffering This Kind of Situation...So The Issue Is When Artist Try To Be a Normal Person Like Others or Expect To Be Seen Like That..But Wake Up All of You..When I Understood That I am Different from The Rest Now I Can Stay in This Life Without Inner Conflict and Else..and Also Be a Self Secure Solo Straight Soul..Simple.
have you tried Logic Pro on ipad yet legend ? 😳
I don’t have an iPad. So no.
Great video my brother! Thanks for sharing 🟠 ; (IYKYK)