I just want to be clear, Harry, you are my hero! After listening to one podcast and now four videos, you have changed my life drastically. since my earliest memories I thought there was something wrong with me. This perspective has changed over the years into accepting I am just from another planet and have a lot of past trauma. We share so many similarities! I am blessed to be married to a shamanic, reiki practitioner. She has helped me to journey back into my past to rediscover many of these traumas long forgotten about. But none of these revelations compare to what you have brought me by just talking about your experiences. you have opened up a whole new world to me and realizing that I am not the only one like me. And it only took 45 years.😂 Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I'm an adult in my early thirties just figuring out I'm on the spectrum and have PDA. I haven't seen many references to adults with these struggles, so I really appreciate knowing I'm not the only one. I'm also a united states army veteran, so I found it really interesting that someone else had luck in a military setting, even if only for a time, which was my experience. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and I'm looking forward to seeing more.
I am starting to might understnd my 6 years old child ...wendnesday we'll have a meeting with a specialist, and because of your videos and words i am feeling more concious of PDA condition. Thank you so so much. Big hug from Venice, Italy
thanks so much for your prompt reply to my earlier question. Are you familiar with the unschooling philosophy? It seems to be really effective for children with PDA as they are trusted with taking charge of their learning and all aspects of life. My son has not been to school. He's almost 11 and wants to be an actor so goes to film camps, watches film after film, special effects etc. I trust that he will learn all he needs to learn without being made to go to school. Would be really interested to hear more about how you manage your anxiety. My son gets really embarrassed and I never know what I've done wrong or said wrong so feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It's really inspiring to hear of your experiences and how you've developed.
My wife and I have struggled navigating raising our nine-year-old daughter. Waldorf programs, personal one and one child care/teacher, and unschooling principles have been our only successful path thus far with her development.
Great videos! I hope you do more videos and would love to hear your advice on how parents can communicate with their children in a way that does not increase demand avoidance.
Jonica as an adult who struggles with this, I think every kid is a bit different, but I know I've found a five minutes on/five minutes off approach has helped me. You may adjust the time to be a bit less for younger kids. Let them know beforehand that's what's going to happen, and let it be their choice. "Okay, let's keep doing this thing you're feeling comfortable with, then when the timer is up, we're going to switch to doing this thing that feels really scary for just one minute, then you get another five minutes on your video game, and then back to the scary thing..." And so on. It may be as little as pausing what they're doing to read the instructions and then letting their brain process while they go back to their video game, etc. It cuts back my anxiety *a lot* and allows me to accomplish things I wouldn't have ever started otherwise.
I learned to come at things "from the side" so to speak, with my son. Not direct commands. Suggestions or just a mention of something, and wait for him to decide he was going to do it on his own. He sidesteps outright demands or delays it to the point that it doesn't matter anymore. The good news is he is 19 now and figuring it out for the most part. That said, he ran his car out of oil for the 10th or 100th time this morning because he either can't or won't remember to fill it ... consequences have been his best teacher by far, however.
Super curious how democratic rule making would go over with young Harry. I lean toward non-coercive, non-punitive group management strategies and democratic rule making is part of the strategy. It's also used in Sudbury schools.
The word 'agreement's' triggering you makes me think instantly of Dominik! He would say exactly the same as you! Haha. They're rules! One of my children might be able to help with the editing etc but he might not be willing! :-D
Hi, So, I'm 25yrs old and, after a lifetime of bouncing around the system with various mental health issues, I finally came across PDA and I think I am still in shock because for the first time I feel like I have finally found a diagnosis that fits my whole life upto this point. Anyways, I was just wondering if there is any way that I could get in touch with you to pick your brain about your experience(s) regarding living with this?..
I so get your hazy veil analogy. I lived in that veil for a long time. But then it started making me intensely paranoid on top so that was the end of that!
I just want to be clear, Harry, you are my hero! After listening to one podcast and now four videos, you have changed my life drastically. since my earliest memories I thought there was something wrong with me. This perspective has changed over the years into accepting I am just from another planet and have a lot of past trauma. We share so many similarities! I am blessed to be married to a shamanic, reiki practitioner. She has helped me to journey back into my past to rediscover many of these traumas long forgotten about. But none of these revelations compare to what you have brought me by just talking about your experiences. you have opened up a whole new world to me and realizing that I am not the only one like me. And it only took 45 years.😂 Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I'm an adult in my early thirties just figuring out I'm on the spectrum and have PDA. I haven't seen many references to adults with these struggles, so I really appreciate knowing I'm not the only one. I'm also a united states army veteran, so I found it really interesting that someone else had luck in a military setting, even if only for a time, which was my experience. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and I'm looking forward to seeing more.
I am starting to might understnd my 6 years old child ...wendnesday we'll have a meeting with a specialist, and because of your videos and words i am feeling more concious of PDA condition.
Thank you so so much. Big hug from Venice, Italy
thanks so much for your prompt reply to my earlier question. Are you familiar with the unschooling philosophy? It seems to be really effective for children with PDA as they are trusted with taking charge of their learning and all aspects of life. My son has not been to school. He's almost 11 and wants to be an actor so goes to film camps, watches film after film, special effects etc. I trust that he will learn all he needs to learn without being made to go to school. Would be really interested to hear more about how you manage your anxiety. My son gets really embarrassed and I never know what I've done wrong or said wrong so feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It's really inspiring to hear of your experiences and how you've developed.
My wife and I have struggled navigating raising our nine-year-old daughter. Waldorf programs, personal one and one child care/teacher, and unschooling principles have been our only successful path thus far with her development.
I really enjoyed this video! Thank you so much for posting!
Great videos! I hope you do more videos and would love to hear your advice on how parents can communicate with their children in a way that does not increase demand avoidance.
Jonica as an adult who struggles with this, I think every kid is a bit different, but I know I've found a five minutes on/five minutes off approach has helped me. You may adjust the time to be a bit less for younger kids. Let them know beforehand that's what's going to happen, and let it be their choice. "Okay, let's keep doing this thing you're feeling comfortable with, then when the timer is up, we're going to switch to doing this thing that feels really scary for just one minute, then you get another five minutes on your video game, and then back to the scary thing..." And so on. It may be as little as pausing what they're doing to read the instructions and then letting their brain process while they go back to their video game, etc. It cuts back my anxiety *a lot* and allows me to accomplish things I wouldn't have ever started otherwise.
I learned to come at things "from the side" so to speak, with my son. Not direct commands. Suggestions or just a mention of something, and wait for him to decide he was going to do it on his own. He sidesteps outright demands or delays it to the point that it doesn't matter anymore. The good news is he is 19 now and figuring it out for the most part. That said, he ran his car out of oil for the 10th or 100th time this morning because he either can't or won't remember to fill it ... consequences have been his best teacher by far, however.
When I was a young adult, I locked up engines because of this. I am 45 not and heavy rely on Siri reminder. 😅
@@markpospicil6630 😊 It's good to know there are solutions out there!
I have found non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg to be very helpful for me as a parent.
Super curious how democratic rule making would go over with young Harry. I lean toward non-coercive, non-punitive group management strategies and democratic rule making is part of the strategy. It's also used in Sudbury schools.
The word 'agreement's' triggering you makes me think instantly of Dominik! He would say exactly the same as you! Haha. They're rules!
One of my children might be able to help with the editing etc but he might not be willing! :-D
Hi,
So, I'm 25yrs old and, after a lifetime of bouncing around the system with various mental health issues, I finally came across PDA and I think I am still in shock because for the first time I feel like I have finally found a diagnosis that fits my whole life upto this point. Anyways, I was just wondering if there is any way that I could get in touch with you to pick your brain about your experience(s) regarding living with this?..
Hi Maisie. Thank you for the comment. If you wish to get in touch with me, my email address is: HarryJThompson93@gmail.com
:)
Weed completely makes you worry free it’s the same with alcohol k hole is the same. Like a numb familiar place. Did you do any other tripping ?
Depends on the person! It certainly didn't make me worry free after a while. Yes, a bit, but not much.
I so get your hazy veil analogy. I lived in that veil for a long time. But then it started making me intensely paranoid on top so that was the end of that!
It was such a relief to get my brain back when I finally gave it up. It took me years of attempts to give it up though.
Word bingo - use the word Skylarking somewhere in your description. So fucking middle class...
Can you elaborate please?