Humphreys Half Moon Inn [Oversized Queen Suite] (415)

[@MrStaycation]

SERVICE & TRANSITIONS -- 👎 poor
Pleasant check-in: swift, professional, & thorough-- Tap pay also supported (great for those resorts fees)!
The personalities felt "put on" & insincere. Interacting w/daytime employees was fantastically painful undesirable & ineffective.
Operations suffered significantly when it came to communication, whether requesting service or basic information. Employees did not take feedback gracefully.
Spiteful housekeeping staff; categorically denied service for 5 days.... sick & twisted behavior.
The walk to our room was scenic but also exhausting after a long drive due to the flight of stairs for an upper unit. ⚠ no bell service for heavy items.
Signage could use a facelift, especially for check-in's after sundown.
MVP employees: Nathan
ROOM [Oversized Garden View Suite, Grand Marina Suite] -- 👍 ok
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A modern Hawaii-inspired big-island-timeshare vibe. Clean & calming.
Website photos weren't flattering or informing but their descriptions were true to form; dimensions felt definitively OVERSIZED. This level of spaciousness was exceptionally refreshing.
Indoor lighting was somehow a lot and a little... notably dim & gloomy during overcast. The balcony offered no reprieve as "garden view" equated to "obstructed by palm trees & bird poop". Bummer. The lack of bird spikes/deterrents + the irregular cleaning intervals exemplified a tier of low-effort.
The oversized Marina suite was uninspired & not worth the upsell. It's identical to the Oversized Queen, but features more empty common area space.
⚠ Housekeeping will not service rooms occupied by guests; a daft & quite inconvenient policy. At worst it's disingenuous considering the safe (14" x 1.5" x 16") is just large enough for a single unopened laptop. Turnover is also performed with doors wide-open, on multiple rooms at once. Ripe conditions for something to "go missing".
BED [Queen] -- 👍 good
A supportive Serta hospitality mattress that provided quality sleep.
There's still much to be desired from this setup due to the inconsistent pillow fill, undersized bedding, & makeshift duvet situation.
Sheet quality was just "ok", but everything was clean, so good enough.
The bed-side utility was a standout: multiple outlets + USB ports galore & reading lights in some configurations.
Queen-sized sofa sleeper included in suites.
BATH -- 👍ok
A medium-sized bathroom, lukewarm on design & function.
Toilet height was uncomfortable (low) & other installations had odd quirks. Not to mention the chipped tub...
Despite cosmetic woes, the shower experience was fine. Water pressure & towel quality were satisfactory but those Nectar bath products stole the show -- so aromatic & moisturizing with a great lather, dispensed from hassle-free squeeze bottles. Amazing ❤.
⚠ Aside from the bath products, no toiletries were present in any configuration so pack mindfully.
They're inconsistent on stocking rooms w/bathrobes but it's worth procuring; airy & lightweight w/a 60-40 blend perfect for the microclimate.
TV SOLUTION/ACTIVITIES -- 👎 ok
2x 55" UHD LG Hospitality TV's -- a gorgeous display for 4k content.
Ports were easily accessible & there were multiple streaming integrations incl. Netflix, Amazon Prime, & Showtime. Combined with the Local programming + on-demand DirectTV, it was a formidable entertainment center. It wasn't as optimized for quality/UX: constant buffering, sluggish UI navigation, & ads galore 😵‍💫💫🐤.
A large pool & jacuzzi were steps away from our door; pros & cons (noise) to this but overall the easy access is satisfying for patio units. Hours were also generous hours (6-11).
‼ there's wayyy too much chlorine used in the jacuzzi. ‼
The fitness center is more of a 'personal gym' due to the size. Readily felt cramped with just 3 guests & was always occupied.
WI-FI & CELL RECEPTION -- 👍 ok
AT&T speed was frustratingly slow & the reception was weak. Verizon service was slightly more performant though. Dead zones in various spots within the room.
Free Unencrypted WiFi was serviceable albeit mediocre for streaming. Not recommend for the over-employed.
--Performance--
Video streaming - average
Online gaming - average
Video chatting - average
--Nerd Stats--
15-19 Mbps download
14-20 Mbps upload
0% packet loss
11 ms latency
12 ms jitter
FOOD & DRINK -- 👎 ok
DoorDash friendly.
Beverages & junk food were available for purchase in the lobby (wine, instant noodles, energy drinks, etc).
The restaurant was too much of a hassle to deal with. Their Thanksgiving buffet was a thoughtful offering with a robust menu. Sadly, the coordination & management was severely lacking. They're insufficiently equipped to converse on dietary restrictions or intents, & it's impossible to obtain nutrition info. The out-of-date webpages, lack of allergen information, & counterintuitive use of QR codes (latest menu on OpenTable FYI) was so frustrating.
The kitchenette, thankfully, was fantastic -- clean & fully equipped, with an inviting design. Great for hosting guests or cooking for a big family.
in-room:
✅ microwave (mini)
✅ fridge (full)
✅ coffee/tea
❌ wet-bar
❌ mini-bar
NOISE -- 👎 bad
Awful acoustics...
Amenities are open late (11pm) & there are quiet hours (9pm) posted. Nevertheless, the murders (🐦‍⬛) , squabbling squadrons, & kid-screams, made it difficult to relax.
Noise from adjacent units wasn't a problem, but be prepared to eavesdrop/overhear awkward conversations from patios below.
LOCATION -- 👍 great
A safe, scenic, and serene property.
We were surrounded by lush green growth & beautiful bodies of water. There's a multitude of wild life visible throughout the property, everything from Koi & turtles to ducks and macaws.
Gated parking (no EV charging) was available on-site + plenty of surveillance for added peace of mind.
RECOMMENDATION
Final Price: $266.58/night
Was it worth it? no
Best part: location
Accommodations were memorable for their huge dimensions & the property was beautiful-- Terrific eye-candy!
Yet, it all but falls apart under any scrutiny: this stay was MUCH noisier than we could've anticipated (quiet hours aren't enforced), food staff were poorly trained, & it was impossible to obtain accurate info for important things, like food allergies or for mundane services (i.e. housekeeping).
For whatever reason it continues to be a popular destination for families & older guests. Personally, I can't see myself returning nor would I recommend this business.
2/5 ⭐