Wow. Wow and wow. Nothing is more liberating than acceptance of the truth. Embracing the reality of who you are at 'this' moment and what your 'current' circumstances are, formes the foundation to freedom, success and Joy. Thank you so much for posting this.
"A grief alone is doubled - a grief shared is cut in half." I wish men were able to internalize this truth and were able to wave that white flag sooner (or at all). Thanks for this video - it was very helpful.
Dear Alicia, No problem. Mr Townsend is saying this quote when he is referring to the fact that men do not share their feelings soon enough to get some relief or help when they struggle with them. And when they end up depressed and get entangled in an emotional trap it is late. The burden is too difficult for them. I said they should somehow change this attitude because no one else can do this for them.... I hope it is understandable. If not, feel free to write again. :)
Yes it helps me. I appreciate your time and input, I would like to get your help. I'm so desperately trying to understand what to do. Honestly, I have a very long story about my marriage and separation. Unfortunately, we have been separated for three years and only after the first year of marriage, I left due to his major change in behavior and attitude towards me after we moved to a new state for a high demand career opportunity. It is a lifetime opportunity but the stress and intensity of his expectations and the fact that it's a SUCCESSFUL STARTUP and he's been a huge part of it, he is not dealing with the burnout. Then a significant increase in my health became a problem and my health overall declined which I was advised to get out due to the toxic environment. It was physical trauma from a MVA following a second back surgery ( 10 months into the mix as well as the onset of traumatizing psychological abuse that began to occur. After all the attempts with therapy by myself ( marriage, CBT and relationship coaches) he didnt want to do the work. He's been trying to cope by himself by self medicate since I have left. He finally admitted his depression, anxiety and other health problems about a year ago ( which is a HUGE DEAL bc he's has always highly adaptive, successful and the biggest health freak you can find). Not until 6 weeks ago he has gone to see about this and is on an antidepressant. The biggest thing is how we’re trying to work this out and I am one thousand miles away and I have no clue how to read him nor do I think it's fair to me to be isolated by him when he has no healthy skills and support for this, as well as the disregard for my feelings too. It's already difficult to be full blown depressed and past the point of return ( as you stated and I would like to know more about.. resources?) But to be going through our own separate stress and life adversities on top of all of this. There are so many things that I haven't said bc its not simple and cut to the chase however I would really APPRECIATE any feedback.
JNDorene I'm sorry, I did not tell you that this video is TOTALLY THE DEFINITION of my husband. The only thing that he is not going to listen to me, this nor is he religious. He is a INTJ personality type, as well as being in his mid forties and very stuck in his ways. He has changed in a good way meaning he's not abusive and has begin to trust me more but still can't be vulnerable 100% not even 50% unless we are physically together and we have seen each other five times since we separated, three weeks ago we spent two weeks together and since I got back to my place, he probably felt a lot like it was when I "abandoned " him and the marriage. I needed to let you know this too.
Hi Alicia, I don't know if I can help, all I can do is to share with you some sources that helped me a lot when going through difficulties with my spouse. Since this site is not for private messages or advertising things I'm sending them to your youtube mailbox. Thanks for sharing. :)
Unfortunately this doesn’t work in the harsh world of reality. We can over analyze failure and selfishness, this lesson fit the modern ‘gospel ‘ of its all about me and what makes me feel better. I am glad Jesus the greatest warrior of all time had a different Gospel that He gave us. This is psychology not the Gospel, and thus will not solve your problems. Frankly I’m tired of this lack understanding in the ‘Church’ Repent- God gives it Forgiveness of your sin- Succeed
Robert Kirby I disagree. I think if you pretend like things don’t bother you then you are relying on your own strength and not admitting your weakness. The. Bible says His power is perfected in our weakness. God offers forgiveness of our sins, no doubt and that is by grace, no doubt, but the evidence of our salvation is when we obey His commandments. Often time that takes action on our part, in this case “weep with those who weep” is an excellent example of grieving especially if there is a heavily loss. Why else would the Bible say that? I think this man does an excellent job of showing that the Bible has instruction even for our grief and he clearly says at the end of it, “you have to let it go” once you’ve grieve it otherwise you are idealizing it or (idolizing) it and we know what the Bible says about that. If He wasn’t lining it up with the word I’d have a different opinion.
Wow. Wow and wow.
Nothing is more liberating than acceptance of the truth. Embracing the reality of who you are at 'this' moment and what your 'current' circumstances are, formes the foundation to freedom, success and Joy.
Thank you so much for posting this.
Thank you!
"A grief alone is doubled - a grief shared is cut in half." I wish men were able to internalize this truth and were able to wave that white flag sooner (or at all). Thanks for this video - it was very helpful.
JNDorene can you explain this, I'm sorry for asking because my husband is a great example of what I think you are stating ?
Dear Alicia, No problem. Mr Townsend is saying this quote when he is referring to the fact that men do not share their feelings soon enough to get some relief or help when they struggle with them. And when they end up depressed and get entangled in an emotional trap it is late. The burden is too difficult for them. I said they should somehow change this attitude because no one else can do this for them.... I hope it is understandable. If not, feel free to write again. :)
Yes it helps me. I appreciate your time and input, I would like to get your help. I'm so desperately trying to understand what to do. Honestly, I have a very long story about my marriage and separation. Unfortunately, we have been separated for three years and only after the first year of marriage, I left due to his major change in behavior and attitude towards me after we moved to a new state for a high demand career opportunity. It is a lifetime opportunity but the stress and intensity of his expectations and the fact that it's a SUCCESSFUL STARTUP and he's been a huge part of it, he is not dealing with the burnout. Then a significant increase in my health became a problem and my health overall declined which I was advised to get out due to the toxic environment. It was physical trauma from a MVA following a second back surgery ( 10 months into the mix as well as the onset of traumatizing psychological abuse that began to occur. After all the attempts with therapy by myself ( marriage, CBT and relationship coaches) he didnt want to do the work. He's been trying to cope by himself by self medicate since I have left. He finally admitted his depression, anxiety and other health problems about a year ago ( which is a HUGE DEAL bc he's has always highly adaptive, successful and the biggest health freak you can find). Not until 6 weeks ago he has gone to see about this and is on an antidepressant. The biggest thing is how we’re trying to work this out and I am one thousand miles away and I have no clue how to read him nor do I think it's fair to me to be isolated by him when he has no healthy skills and support for this, as well as the disregard for my feelings too. It's already difficult to be full blown depressed and past the point of return ( as you stated and I would like to know more about.. resources?) But to be going through our own separate stress and life adversities on top of all of this. There are so many things that I haven't said bc its not simple and cut to the chase however I would really APPRECIATE any feedback.
JNDorene I'm sorry, I did not tell you that this video is TOTALLY THE DEFINITION of my husband. The only thing that he is not going to listen to me, this nor is he religious. He is a INTJ personality type, as well as being in his mid forties and very stuck in his ways. He has changed in a good way meaning he's not abusive and has begin to trust me more but still can't be vulnerable 100% not even 50% unless we are physically together and we have seen each other five times since we separated, three weeks ago we spent two weeks together and since I got back to my place, he probably felt a lot like it was when I "abandoned " him and the marriage. I needed to let you know this too.
Hi Alicia, I don't know if I can help, all I can do is to share with you some sources that helped me a lot when going through difficulties with my spouse. Since this site is not for private messages or advertising things I'm sending them to your youtube mailbox. Thanks for sharing. :)
This is so good.
Thanks, Dr. Townsend
This was so good! Thank you for sharing
Fatastic.Thankyou for sharing.
thank you for this.
I love to confront the gap to a fault sometimes because others cannot do it out of fear
Basically man up and take responsibility for your own actions and go forward
17min. Protest mode to despair to grace
Unfortunately this doesn’t work in the harsh world of reality.
We can over analyze failure and selfishness, this lesson fit the modern ‘gospel ‘ of its all about me and what makes me feel better. I am glad Jesus the greatest warrior of all time had a different Gospel that He gave us. This is psychology not the Gospel, and thus will not solve your problems. Frankly I’m tired of this lack understanding in the ‘Church’
Repent- God gives it
Forgiveness of your sin-
Succeed
Robert Kirby I disagree. I think if you pretend like things don’t bother you then you are relying on your own strength and not admitting your weakness. The. Bible says His power is perfected in our weakness. God offers forgiveness of our sins, no doubt and that is by grace, no doubt, but the evidence of our salvation is when we obey His commandments. Often time that takes action on our part, in this case “weep with those who weep” is an excellent example of grieving especially if there is a heavily loss. Why else would the Bible say that? I think this man does an excellent job of showing that the Bible has instruction even for our grief and he clearly says at the end of it, “you have to let it go” once you’ve grieve it otherwise you are idealizing it or (idolizing) it and we know what the Bible says about that. If He wasn’t lining it up with the word I’d have a different opinion.