How To Do Crime: Money Laundering
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ย. 2024
- Discover the secrets of money laundering, from small-time schemes to high-level cartel operations. Using examples like Breaking Bad's Walter White, we dive into the complex world of cleaning dirty money.
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Simon has gotten so tired of criminals not following the rules he's making a proper guide
This is criminally underrated
I'm stealing this
Still no "Casual Criminalist" book tho.
🤣🤣
Simon: I can't believe youtube is demonitizing my videos!
Also Simon: *makes videos titled "How to do crime"*
People: I can't believe youtube is demonetizing my videos, its the content!
Same People: Subscribe to Nebula!
Its like chopping off your leg because your foot hurts.
Next video, how to launder money using YT channels.
Set up a Patreon and send it a large quantity of small donations from various accounts🤷♂️
Yes, set up a lot of different accounts to donate to a bunch of different patrons for different channels.
Useful for cleaning up all those profits from your massive coke dealing business.
So that why he has so many TH-cam channels….
@@glarbtpppadloffsecopolisIII I bet he has fake bank accounts for his employees locked in the basement so he can send "paychecks" to those accounts.
Finally, a good tutorial.
😂
The Casual Criminalist crossover we needed.
Simon is writing down/recording his crimes.
Simon takes his garden to the lawn drette 😅😅
Hes offering Cash for crack? lol
The best money laundering is whenever some Mafiosi just buys their grandma a restaurant to run. It's fine Nona, doesn't need to be profitable, just feed the people and follow your dream while I do the books!
I mean just working at a Mafioso bar isn't a terrible excuse for small time money laundering. "The guys were just feeling extra generous that night" isn't an unbelievable excuse if some small time enforcers just got a windfall, especially if they pay in cash.
@@theBestElliephant I didn't mean efficienct, just really fun
@@theBestElliephant Best cover for mafia money laundering - the mafioso hangout bar, they always pay cash
*nonna
"I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary."
Bear me by six minutes
“Hey Peter man, turn on Channel 9!”
" That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?"
You know what I'd do with that money...... Two chicks at the same time
"We are not going to white collar resort prison.... no no no... we are going to federal pound me in the ass prison..."
I hope that this 'How To Do Crime' series becomes a series for Into The Shadows, just as a curiosity and an interesting video topic, certainly not for any other reasons.
Because you're writing a novel I assume.
Next up: What illegal side hustle are you best suited for. 😂
Politicians worth far more than their salaries: nothing to see here
Jim-Bob makes a few thousand bucks selling herbal remedies: 💥💥💥🔫
As well as making notes on this video, another way to learn money laundering is to become a chartered accountant. Part of the training is how to spot both fraud and money laundering, but to learn to spot it, you have to learn how to do it. If you specialise in forensic accountancy, then you are all the more expert. Kinda like Dexter, but with spreadsheets instead of blades.
Wow❤
It may also get you on a list eg the panama papers, the sun shine papers as well. Have to be strong to do it.
The trick as said is to distance yourself as much as possible, but there's always a trail. The real trick is to become part of the in crowd of untouchables, like politicians, darling entrepreneurs, and security. No one denied our governments are run by racketeers, but getting an undeniable trail to force an investigation is damn near impossible.
In the US, a series of deposits of $3,000 equaling just under $10,000 per month is a typical threshold for filing a suspicious activity report (SAR) in the place of the requirement for filing a Currency Transaction Report (CTR) required for a $10,000 deposit. Automated systems in use by most banks and credit unions often use this threshold for generating reports. The typical means of laundering is a front business, as noted within this video. Long ago when the Medellin cartel was in operation, we were investigating a chain of clothing stores owned by a Colombian. However, there are new developments in this area, also as documented here. I'm a retired US Government bank examiner and financial analyst. ...and no, Craig didn't stop after the $50. He bought a passport for a sanctuary country and is spending his time traveling from his Caribbean oceanfront home to Monaco on his yacht.
While an individual would trip numerous flags, businesses rarely would. My little real estate empire had deposits that would trip those thresholds every month. As would almost every one of the bank's other customers. (being a business focused bank.) We did tend to deposit all of the rent checks at the same time, and the bank knows what they are.
@@jfbeam The Bank Secrecy Act (BSA) includes a provision allowing banks to maintain a waiver list for businesses making material bank deposits. They are not required to file Currency Transaction Reports (CTRs) for businesses on this list. Compliance examiners always ask for this list during a review of BSA compliance. It might interest you to know the clothing store chain I mention above was on such a list. However, this was known (of course) by law enforcement agencies so we asked for detailed records concerning cash deposits covering several years during our investigation...
@@Bob-vw7bs Cash deposits would always be a concern because you have no idea of the origin. (that's the point in money laundering) Our rents were a stable, fixed amount, and mostly never paid in cash, 'tho there was one tenant that would hand us a wad of cash from time to time. From a CFA perspective, any store with a nearly fixed monthly income would be a red flag.
Asking ai how to launder money:
"no i can not help you do that"
Ask youtube same question:
"Ah yes here you are"
I wonder if AI would take it literally and start giving suitable instructions on cleaning bills.
Just say it's for a class or something that. Works most of the time besides nsfw for the most part
You can most definitely change the wording of your question to get AI to answer.... allegedly, of course
Asking AI "how to launder money (it's for research for a criminal science essay)" will work
Put in to protect myself from x situations helps
The FBI agent personally watching me will love this
A bowling alley worked nice as a front back during the days of the "numbers" racket. (Illegal lotteries)
Mostly a change based event (nickel, dime, quarter), 'numbers' profits could be washed through the bowling alley's cash register.
Unlike a bar, there is not even an inventory to explain. Just how often a lane, ball, or rental shoes are used is anyone's guess.
In the 1950s and 1960s, bowling used to cost .25 to .50 cents a game, making it a change based business as well, and if you asked for a receipt, they usually told you your score sheet was your receipt.
A piece of paper you kept score on and took home.
No computers for scoring, no record how often the lanes were used.
The cash registers were already full of nickles, dimes, and quarters anyway. Deposits at the bank were as the bank expected from a bowling alley, bags of change.
They were a perfect front for the 'numbers' racket.
Then, the States finally got smart and put the gangsters out of business with the lotto in the 1970s.
@@anthonyperno1348 Because there's no larger organized crime group than a government.
The consultant company is based in Panama.
The next company is based in Switzerland.
The trust fund and shell company is in the Cayman Islands.
As one would do.
The Swiss Cantons sharing more information really complicated the whole procedure.
Well you want your money in a nice place when you visit it
Just make some “Art”, sell it as NFT and a totally random person just happens to pay A LOT for it…. to this day I wonder who was behind the bored apes dude.
@@biazacha Funny you should mention that, "art sales" are one of the easier ways to transfer the occasional large sums of money with minimal scrutiny. Not strictly ideal for money laundering, especially by itself or regularly, but a very useful step in some schemes.
All of it, eventually, owned by a LLC in the Cook Islands which is owned and held by a Cook Islands Trust. Good luck getting past _that_ since you have to do it _in person_ as the Cook Islands doesn't accept foreign judgements or remote actions. Only in person, only by locals, and the locals are _small_ so you can ensnare everyone by spreading out the legal business enough to force Conflicts of Interest.
Is this why there's so many car washes, laundromats and gas stations?
You forgot car dealerships, storage garages, mattress firms
Don't forget antique shops and art galleries.
Instructions confusing, I’m in jail now💀haahhahaha
Could be worse, Sosa could've sent his boys, including a terminator to visit you.
Instructions unclear. Stuck in Pelican Bay.
Really should have watched it a few more times first. 😂
In the US it’s anything over $9,999 & at casinos they notify the IRS of any winnings over $1200
You don't have to win. You just cash out before you've lost much. All you need is the receipt to make the money clean
So that's why the casino near me is doing so well.
@@backcountry164 thats the australian way
I want to hear more about Craig's childhood to hear how he got to this point.
AML analyst here, this vid is much better than any training I’ve ever had on the subject 😂
Don’t do crimes kids
Thank you Simon for teaching me how to money launder "in a video game" as per my lawyer 😀
fbi bait video??
Securities and Exchange Commission: Amatuers.
Yes. FBI bait video.😂
Shhh
The best way to launder money is to start a Church...become a minister, start small, and slowly get bigger.. the best part is you are TAX EXEMPT" because or religion..A LOT of Mega Churches are just money laundering operations....
Reminds of the line in "Ashes to Ashes": "So...they don't actually...wash it?"
I thought of that watching this as well, Chris Skelton wasn't it? Gene explained how they were laundering it by buying that restaurant with money from a bank raid, running it at a loss then selling it legitimately because it wasn't doing well. Still went over his head though 😆
When I did a responsible conduct of gambling years ago I was told how some people would walk around a gaming lounge looking for people with big wins. They'd offer the winner that amount of cash on the spot so they could cash out the win and get the receipt that comes with collecting large wins.
Thats bloody genius, thanks pal
_pulls out pencil & paper_ Ok, I'm ready for class.
I did the same thing got my notepad as soon as I saw the title😁😁
Funny….the viewership for this video seems to be really concentrated at local prisons. Can’t imagine why….😂
If someone slipped on a banana peel the cops questioned Nicky, a floor boss disappeared, they question Nicky, an NFT scam, they question Nicky.
Thank you for pronouncing my name correctly!
This video basically described how to go from a level one criminal to a level one hundred crime boss.
Simon, I thought we talked about, "don't write down your crimes."? 😂
"Moves on to more lucrative substances"...shows coffee
So its not a bunch of notes washed at hot in a laundromat.
Damn there goes my goofball understanding of money laundering...
Never heard of roddy ricch when he be rapping about his money need a bird bath… gawd damn man I swear ppl don’t seem to listen to music anymore and pay attention to the world around them. There’s subliminal messages all around us!
What "Craig" did is pretty much what my identical twin cousins did. They started selling weed in the mid 80s while in high school. By the time they finished college they were buying and selling 100s of pounds of weed. For 15 years they didn't touch the profit. They laundered some money through some unwitting family members and bought a bar. Now, all the people they sold weed to were buying beers at their bar. After a couple more years they bought another bar. Then in 2001 they were introduced to opiods. They went from pills to heroin in a matter of months. By the end of 2002 they had lost both bars, and had both lost their houses and cars. In 09 one of them was serving 6 months in jail and had a heart attack. An artificial valve was placed, but it failed and he died in 2011. I wish I could say that the surviving twin saw this as a wake up call, but he didn't.
Or you could be a United States Politician
Or any politician for that matter lol
@@wizzard174 yeah i sign that. Google why germany is only now getting fiber optic internet
You forgot to mention churches. You can donate to churches (and they don't have to disclose who donated to them) and than they can lease whole buildings for hundred of thousands if not millions per month from you, legally, operating schools or anything else that doesn't costs money. Or buy your services in other ways.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. In my fiance’s neighborhood, there are a ton of Protestant churches that cater to Spanish-speaking parishioners.
There's nothing meant for good that can't be spun around for evil, sadly.
I love reading the comments almost as much as watching the video. This has made for a really entertaining evening. Keep those comments coming.
Why does Simon keep dressing like he just did a coke deal on miami vice (he forgot his jacket though).
He did
Why do you think the video is about money laundering?
He probably got all warm and toasty after lunch and lost the jacket
Mook: Pedro, what about the money?
Sanchez: Launder it.
Are we going to get a 'Casual Criminalist ' about this Graig person?
In my hometown in the north of England in recent years there has been a massive increase in the number of businesses, mainly barbers and vape shops, open that never have any customers and dont seem in any danger of going out of business.
Barbers could easily sell product at street level, take in clients and never be bothered. Vape shops typically ship product online but, AFAIK there's no widespread access to vape shop weed. However, they do sell a lot of grey market research chemicals packaged as supplements they sell in bulk to those who know how to ask. These usually get cut down and split into press tabs or capsules and since they are so much stronger with unknown side effects, its usually burst sales of like 10k, then the people go to a different town. Super common on the west coast and one of the reasons why there's pictures/colors to look for and stay away from.
This is part of the bath salts issue a while back.
Okay, I've got a plan, I'll start tomorrow!
Three days later: meh, too complex, too much work, not interested in jail.
My boss: What was that?
Me: Nothing!
The street I live on (ASW Utrecht) goes directly past the city center and the busiest train station in the Netherlands so, rent prices are stupid, tiny 5x8m 15x24ft business space costs €4,000 (prob about$100,000:) a month. The ground floor of almost all the buildings is a business and it goes for miles. Almost all of them are businesses that have very little procurement. Hairdressers, laundromats, bicycle repair, massage parlours, phone repair, Chinese medicine and many change every few months. We lived opposite the Chinese medicine place and used a laundromat with 26 machines for 9 years but it was extremely rare to ever see anyone else using the laundromat and the CM had large windows showing a guy behind a reception desk (usually watching a tablet). When I moved in a housemate said no one ever goes in so it became our game. There were only ever 2 seconds sightings of someone using the door. 1 DHL guy and the desk guy leaving, never saw him arrive, no one ever saw a customer....€4,000 a month just in rent.
4 thousand whatever that is equals 100k usd? Tf?
@@Rick-k7mIt's a Euro symbol. Might want to look it up.
@@Rick-k7m its euros and i think op meant 10000
Simon : Criminals don't write your crimes down you idiots.
Also Simon: makes video
Simon, why do I think this could become one of your most viewed videos of all time? 😊
17:34 Ah. Craig's moving down in the world. Good for him I guess.
Just the how-to I was looking for! Thanks Whistle boy
Thank goodness. Perfect timing!
somewhere out there there's a person named Craig doing exactly what Simon is explaining and wondering how Simon knew all these details.
There better be a mountain of allegedlys here
Craig is a smart guy for a bartender
Dear FBI agent,
I am indeed not involved in a multi million dollar money laundering scheme covered up by the somon whistler cinematic universe ;)
Best regards,
Me
Dont worry i know, youre too much of a wimp
So... You're saying I shouldn't have labelled every transfer I've made into my wife's account for the last fifteen years as "Money for sex"?
New business place episode is wild
What is considered suspicious also varies from person to person. For instance someone who has not regularly made large deposits will raise alarms sooner and with a smaller amount of money than someone who has made regular legitimate deposits of larger sums.
It depends on the jurisdiction. In Canada deposits of 10K are automatically reported. Our multiple deposits in quick succession that appear to circumvent the 10K law.
Why do I get the feeling we're gonna see an uptick in money laundering in the next few months.
Who even has money to launder? The economy is in shambles 😂
You can buy a winning Loto ticket and "wash" some millions at once.
This was very common in Spain since a politician "won" million lottery tickets 10 times or more.
Simon's going to wake up to $10,000,000 on his front porch one day and a note that says "thank you for teaching me. Without you, i would have never come so far"
And now I’ve watched this, I’m probably on some watch list!!!
I find it disturbing that I paid more attention to this vid than the channel's other vids on stuff like war crimes.
Taking notes rn ✍️✍️✍️
You should do a whole series of videos like this. Super interesting man
I just started watching and the first thought - Oh, good, Simon is finally doing a video on how he cleans the money from his drug business.
I finished watching, and I am a bit disapointed. I thought I would get at least one tip on how to invest in a popular TH-cam channel to get all that squeaky cleaned sponsorship money.
Loved the video, I think financial crime stories would be a great addition to this channel.
Two words: "mega church" that's how they launder in the south...
Some of these I've seen as common everyday practices to get around things seen as unfair like banks charging fees to pay in cash. Plus the most obvious, taxation. Edit: I just realized that I may (depending on how pedantic you want to be) have laundered money earlier today. I found a few coins in my wallet change from my recent camping holiday which I wanted to shine up a bit, so I put them in an odd sock, tied it in a knot and threw it in with my boil wash laundry. That uncommon 2014 lighthouse £2 coin came up rather nice!
Thank you immensely for providing this tutorial, it was exactly what I needed.
Please continue this How To Do Crime series
Hahaha my mom holds on to my money for rent and in the memo line I always put “for drugs yo” and never have had a transaction flagged 😂😂
Monero deserves a special mention regarding crypto, as it's specifically designed to be nearly untraceable and has become widely used by criminals as a result.
*The* *government* : " You see that tree? its made of paper.
You know money is paper right?
That tree is literally made of money !
You cannot loose !"
There goes Simon's credx in the do not commit crime sphere. He is now publishing How to videos. Cool
This feels like it was an aside by Liam in one of the Casual Criminalist scripts.
That’s what NFTs were all about? 🤔
Truth Social.
The balls of this man to name a series "How To Do Crime" on youtube
Open 3 cash heavy business to clean cash
I had a casino "system" and was investigated for money laundering in Canada. There are government departments you don't even know existed.
Most educational vid I’ve seen for ages!! Putting all these tips to work asap 😂
“ Let’s call him Craig.” 😂😂😂 I don’t know why why that made me laugh so hard
Simon out here teaching us how to do crime.
Extremely wonderful explanation....cleaning dirty money 💰 through money laundry
3:35
Employees at the banks dont know either. I work in weelth management snd will regularly do transactions in hundreds of thousands of dollars.
On the.back end behind the scenes is who does the reporting. I dont know if someone doing $5k is getting looked at
I have however seen people get exited for small transactions
Rule #1: Don't write down your crimes.
Rule #2: see rule #1
makes you wonder how many "legitimate" business operate like this
The ole dome is lookin extra shiny today. Might be the shirt color bringing it out
I can't believe we're so nerdy that we're looking up money laundering on TH-cam
My fiance lives in a predominantly Latin American neighborhood (Mexican, Puerto Rican, Venezuelan, etc) and there are quite a few businesses that could be fronts (Laundromats, taquerias, car washes, nail salons, etc). It made us think that it was possible up to a third of them could be fronts.
"ah yes. this piece of art is totally worth 5 million dollars and i conveniently have 5 million in cash, here you go artist who i do not know"
In the US you can actually claim illicit income as such, and they (the IRS) aren't SUPPOSED to report it. Will they? Probably, but they cant get you for tax evasion.
You could also by tax stamps for weed so they couldn't get you for tax evasion.
They made great Christmas presents for the guy who has everything.
Hypothetically and allegedly a really fantastic way to launder money is to buy very expensive art. Auction houses don’t ask questions. Allegedly.
I absolutely need, nay, *demand*, a How to Crime factboi series
At first I wasn't going to watch the video because I thought I already know the answer but then I said well I enjoy listening to Simon anyways and I ended up learning a lot of stuff so that's cool
Finally, something useful on youtube for once.
I ordered a pizza from a place that was obviously not making pizza. It took them 40 mins so they probably went out and bought a pizza somewhere else. While i was waiting the proprietor recieved an absolutely savage tongue lashing from a much younger man. Strangely they still seem to be in business
I'm almost 99% sure most, if not all, high cost art sales is for laundering.
Don't forget tax fraud. Donate a piece that you bought at $10 and is now valued at $10,000, and you can take that off your tax.
Buy a house privately through an LLC, hold for a year and sell it. "Rent" it for a year and make a "rental agreement" for a fictitious person. As a normal landlord I collect clean cash monthly from tenants, nobody would ever know if I made up a fake person. The only reason I even report it on my taxes is because they use that info to determine how much credit a bank will give me in the future. If I did not report it nobody would ever know, I collect rent in cash.
Or so I've heard...;)
Alternate title for this video: How to end up on an FBI and SEC watch lists.
Please tell this will be a series of “how to crime”. You could make note pads says definitely my well thought out crimes
Absolutely convinced one of my old employers was all a front for money laundering... allegedly
This really helped, thanks
You ever have that feeling in school in the middle of class. That you should be taking notes? Me neither. So it must be the way the script is written like instructions. Plus Simon adds gravitas to the instructions making you want to follow along.
It's important to note: In the US, structuring, of all types, is illegal EVEN IF THE MONEY WAS LEGALLY OBTAINED.
My takeaway from this is that roulette tables are awesome for laundering money-place $500 on black and $500 on red. There’s a 95% chance you lose zero money but gain a receipt stating $500 won.
Obviously this would only work if it was either a small amount of money being laundered under the casino’s nose, or the casino would have to be in on it… so the meta takeaway from this is to own a casino if I want to launder massive amounts of illegally-procured funds.