Adult with Autism | Choosing Your Character | 49
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มิ.ย. 2024
- Masking and characters are very different to me. One is what I need to get by, the other is what I need to help me get through. I try to explain this, but probably not very well!
0:00 Intro Waffle
10:45 Choosing Your Character
||PATREON ||
Patreon: / adultwithautism
|| SUPPORTING THE CHANNEL ||
Paypal: paypal.me/AdultwithAutism
Buy Me a Coffee: www.buymeacoffee.com/adultwit...
Wishlist: www.buymeacoffee.com/adultwit...
T-Shirts: www.redbubble.com/people/adul...
|| SOCIAL ||
Instagram: / adultwithautism
Twitter: / adult_w_autism
**NOT ON ANY OTHER FORM OF SOCIAL MEDIA**
|| LINKS ||
(My music) Soundcloud: / adultwithautism
(Audio version of the channel) Audio Podcast: adultwithautism.podbean.com
|| OTHER ||
(Apologies but I no longer have time to respond to all emails. Priority given to Patreon subscribers)
For enquires: oldandautistic@gmail.com
Another authentic video Paul... This reminded me of when I was younger, and I would occasionally act in another role in public, and I didn't know why I did that, but now I understand being on the spectrum. Now that I know about myself, and I am trying to live as authentically as I possibly can (but still have to do some masking daily), I don't have any desire to be anyone else other than myself. I think also because as I am getting old, I don't want to waste any more of my valuable time and life on having to worry so much about other people and whether they like or accept me or not. I still care, but only for certain people and situations. I think I am a nice and good person, so I don't see why someone would not like me as I am, but now, I feel like if they don't, then bye-bye. But I can kinda reframe now probably only because I am a retired widow who lives in the woods and live 30 miles from anything. 😀 Love your videos ❤
Glad you like the videos. And really like the sound of being so far from civilisation surrounded by nature👍🏻
As a kid, when I played dress-up and went into one of my characters, I was a mix of the following: Zorro, David Bowie, and Boy George! I even have a photo from that time, and every time I look at it, it makes me laugh! 😂😂😂
I thought I looked super cool as a turtle! 🐢
What I love most about exploring my autism is videos like this where it's like "😮😮😮😮😮 I thought I was the only one that felt like that!!!!" 😂❤....
"It's guyyyy love that's all it is - guy love - he's mine I'm his" 😂
Haha, exactly 😂
Watching Dexter was the first time that I felt seen in any way, such was so bizarre. Because I certainly wasn't doing what he was doing, but I was hiding myself and putting on an act just to get through social interactions. The high masking is so exhausting and I didn't know it enough then to identify it. But I know I was unhappy never getting to be myself.
The only show to ever speak to me about me...minus his hobby 👍🏻
Great explanation as always. When I self-diagnosed myself with autism, I began to reject it, not realizing that such a loss of authenticity has some mental advantages and I should not completely deny myself this.
PS Not that I understand what my authenticity is.
If I had to rely on the genuine version of me for a world that isn't designed for this, then my mood and mental state would be a lot worse. Luckily having characters helps me balance and regulate situations I cannot avoid.
Nice Chaos Magik! I started learning about both Autism+ADHD and Chaos Magic around the same time. It was amazing how it all lined up and It turns out I've been a chaos magician since I was a young kid!
I also relate to Dexter... and know what you mean about Hannibal. There's probably something to the fact that autistic people are pathologized in everyday life when so many fictional characters line up with autistic traits. I always think of Data from Startrek as a way to have a positive autistic-coded character who isn't static, isn't a robot.... (even if he IS a robot... kinda), and discusses what it's like to 'see' logic so clearly. Which is what often gets so pathologized in these 'highly effective' killer tropes, I think. The idea that they're so QUOTE UNQUOTE "SMART", I have many issues with how we regard intelligence in society but whatever, that they can avoid the law, which is sort of seen as the normal standard of organized effort. Ie 1 guy with his BRAINS and OBSERVATION skills manage to outwit 25 people so good at outwitting others that they're paid to do so full time. That's the 'fantasy' of these characters so much... when I'd like to see more fiction around people who use their brains and observation skills and are ACCEPTED by others instead. I suppose that's why Dexter may be popular with ppl like us, he shows how thin the line between being accepted for your gifts (his day job, forensics) and being ostracized for following your own moral compass (the killing of bad guys spurred on by his childhood) while doing BASICALLY the exact same thing.
The perception of 'smart' you say is one of the reasons I don't do further education. I have vast experience in what I do, but don't do more education than I have to because I want to be judged on my skill, not a piece of paper on a qualification that only proves I could remember answers for an exam 👍🏻
Thank you. Once I said to my workmate that ”life is a theatre, you just choose your character every day”. I also told her that ”the more I use makeup, the more I play a role because I need that cover to survive”. Like Mandalorian face shield. And that was 10 years ago when nobody couldn’t even guess how autistic I was (me either). Younger I dressed me up some imagerine clothes, made my face and hair and went to the town having fun to be someone else. In the other hand I easily stuck myself to one form; once I had a whole year around every day One Piece college suite (that Norwegian innovation). Same suite. Well, that is also quite autistic. I think that my character is ”professional, politely talking, well articulated person who has Greta Garbo voice” 😄
I won't lie, one of my favourite things to do when I have to interact is see how well my character comes across. If I didn't find the fun, outside would be a tough place! 👍🏻
@@AdultwithAutism👏🏽😄👏🏽
thank you for making a quick reference to what's going on in the world bc this causes me major 🫠 & ppl seem to ignore 🌍🕊️
plus i swear a lot to prevent stuttering
so, thank you.
Donatello was my favorite. So smart and the purple was great.😅
I love farts jokes to this day. I love your words on what maturity is.
Fart jokes all day. If someone blasts one out, I am going to laugh. If I wasn't meant to, why does it sound so hilarious?
Yep, definitely relate :) only just recently realised that im on the spectrum... but now i remember when i was at school around 14yo, was very isolated and shy... i imagined myself as the character "yagami light" from death note... even had the same hairdo :P ... he was also very smart and methodical and something resonated with how he was also a loner but he didnt't really care because he had a higher purpose in life (... oddly similar to your characters... killing people lol).... i wanna make it clear though that i have no desire to take people's lives... the shows death note, hannibal and dexter are very good at romanticising killers ;) so its okay if we relate to them - the shows are designed to do that
I remember shaving my hair off because I liked a character with a bald head. Now I have no choice but to shave it 😂
Lol yes i am definately an academy level actress ,just have to do it ,its so natural and only really noticed this in last couple of years .thanks for your rawthenticity 🙏🌈😘💖💖💖💖
Rawthenticity...you've won the word of the week 👍🏻
Hi Paul, I like the way your videos build. I appreciate the back stories that catches your audience up to speed. I had to watch the first half on my way to work and the second half I finished on my way home.
I wouldn’t have survived holding it for that long, and to have lost the job, I would have for sure been utterly exhausted and wanted to just sleep.
I understand what you mean about the characters and how it’s different from masking. I have often adopted different personas and embraced them in order to handle a situation, whether at work, interacting with others socially, or even when handling my own emotions. I don’t have names or celebrity identities attached to them, but I frequently have fallen into the role as needed throughout my entire life.
I do the same. I have personas I use that are my creations too...in fact in 30 minutes I have to have a meeting where I need one that plays devil's advocate to unearth failings, whereas the real me isn't interested.
I take the baseline of a persona from TV as sometimes even I don't know what I need to get through certain scenarios, so have to struggle in one before I see a character that I adopt to make it easer.
This is so interesting. For one: I've been binging your videos the last few days and have been getting such strong karly pilkboys vibes off you, but decided not to say anything in case you didn't like him as much as I do.
And as for the characters, I have actively tapped into this since a young age. If I have a day where I need to be particularly confident and calm, I will put a film or program on while I'm getting ready to leave the house with a particularly calm and confident protagonist so that I can absorb that character.
Oh and your hannibal impression was actually very good!
Haha, I think me and the Pilks were separated at birth sometimes. When others laugh at him, I just agree and think he talks sense! Besides...I've been called a lot worse!
Crazy how we do similar things that are unspoken isn't it!
I really thought I was the only one who did that 😅. Very relatable, great video!!
That's alright then! Glad it's not just me 😂
I don't think I have characters, masks yes, but characters at least not intentional, however my husband does and it's quite obvious if I watched it as well.
Reacher was good, the way it was written was good, the jokes, the choice of characters.. and the way Franses didn't shake hands, it was made to be cool, not weird, which is cool.
About your car, my last car was playing around quite often, so I bought on amazon a diagnostic device (just 8 pounds or so) and every single time the engine light or anything else would pop up I would just check it myself to get the code If it was the same code as always I would just erase it and have peace of mind but if it was something else then a garage visit.
Just double checked, the diagnostic thing I had was called OBD2 code reader
Hi Marika, hand shaking isn't for me either!
I should probably get a reader, although since this repair is a big one, I need to save all the money I can to get it fixed since the part alone is £740. Its true what they say, you never stop paying for cars.
Eyyyy Paul! 😁 You make me laugh so much 😂 The balding jokes made me chuckle 🤣 Solar panel 😭🤣 I think you look just fabulous, but I do love the jokes 🤣
I have definitely done this characters thing many times before BUT I don't know if it's something I do regularly. I don't think I've really given it enough thought 🤔 You're right though, I'm 27 and it does feel like you're playing pretend like you did as a kid sometimes 🙄😂 Also, I freakin loved Scrubs 😂
I know I've channeled characters to help me out in different situations too, and to make me hopefully like myself a little more sometimes, but I'll have to keep an eye on myself when I'm out and see if I do this more than I realised 🤷🏻♀️ I have noticed that it's most likely to occur when a character I vibed with is fresh in my mind, like right after watching a movie or something! Fascinating isn't it 😄
I'm sorry things have been a disaster lately! Things are a bit of a shitshow for me right now too, but your videos are always a comfort 🙂 I felt intense second hand stress for your disasters 🤯 needing a wee when you can't go, unable to contact people to let them know you're running late, car trouble and the fear of getting stuck in a broken down vehicle 💥🤯 Worst! I'm glad you pulled through and made it home to your pyjamas and your George 😁
I bet George is always so excited to see you when you've worked away! Do you take him to someone's or does someone George sit whilst you're away? 🥰
Anyhoo, I'm off to watch your previous video to this one, would you believe TH-cam didn't notify me!? How dare it 😂 Look after yourself, Dexter and George! 😁
Haha, YT for some reason has stopped notifying everyone for every update at my end, not sure what I've done to upset the algorithm but, that's it now. Seriously reduced new subs too. But I'm here to waffle, not become a superstar 😂
That's the same for me character wise, the more recent I've watched, the fresher the character is, and the more likely they're going to be channeled. The problem for me is...I rewatch the same shows time after time as I like to keep the characters 'topped up'
I'm not allowed to take George with me when I work away, but he's never that bothered when I come back either as his needs are more than met when I'm away 😂
@@AdultwithAutism I've heard the algorithm is just so random and all over the shop! Ah well you're a superstar to us loyal subscribers 😃
That's so true! Re-watching your favourite shows and films over and over is something I've only heard of other autistic people doing 😄 When I was a kiddo around age 10, I kept watching the Incredibles because I related to Violet, and I made a doll of her which, if I do say so myself was ...Incredible 😂 My teacher and others were so impressed I remember being proud of myself 🤦🏻♀️😂 I'm the classic artistic autistic 🙈
Oh bless George lmao! I'm glad he's spoilt, doggos deserve it 💖🥰
Hey Paul i totally understand what your saying. I relate to many characters too ! how is little george
Hi Gemma, George is good thanks. Spent most of the day playing tug o war with him. He's slept all evening, must have tired him out.
@@AdultwithAutism that’s great 😃 I love that your talking about Characters again as I feel I relate to certain characters or famous people. Like for me right now I relate to Princess Diana a little because of being different and the way people talk to me and expect me to act in a certain way I may do a follow up video to the first one you inspired me to do. Looking forward to more content from you Paul always remember your awesome I adore you and your channel I feel less alone
Thanks Gemma, really appreciate that. And very interesting character! I can understand that perspective.
Thankyou SO much Paul: when I was in Corporate I tried many different Characters. Some I was applauded for, but most I was 'Punished' for... For example at an Annual Sales Conference I would misread the room, slip into a Completely Inappropriate Character, and end up being humiliated / attacked by coworkers / bosses in public, or later on when 'unexpected forms of revenge' would occur....
No worries 👍🏻
This is a great video mate! I'm glad I'm not the only one who does this. Ive done this my whole life from negan from the walking dead to Dave Gahan from depeche mode. To Peter Weller who played robocop! God I love that film.❤ anyway enjoyed this video. Hope the week is a good one for you my friend!😎😎👍
Always good to know I'm not alone doing this...this could have been a 3 hour video with the amount of characters! Hope your week is going well too 👍🏻
Ive gone through a few of your videos now and glad i have. Im also more on the negative side as well. I think most of my characters are just people ive envied. Holy shit, i just finished s2 of reacher not too long ago. Im restraining myself on replies..cause ill go on forever and tell my life story. If im not careful.
and also, could be that our special interests when they include ppl, personae, & CHARACTERS become our role models. aha!! total 💡
omg... I can't believe I have never ever ever ever met someone else that channels/calls for certain characters to help themselves with certain situations in social life or while struggling with focus or some pre-meltdown symptoms. And I have other omg: I channel Hannibal Lecter from the series as well, same as you, to achieve calmness, to have clearness of though and believe that I can actually pull out with a plan (even if it's a two steps plans it can be a hell for me), that I can follow tiredsome instructions or handle people in a charm but moderate way. I think when I'm in my most ADHD I tend to Hannibalize more xD.
If I record myself breaking something down in Hannibal mode and listen back under another...I have no idea who that guy is, but he knows his stuff! 👍🏻
Rough week! Hopefully there is a solution to the car issue, no one needs extra sources of stress.
Anyway very interesting thing about the characters. I sort of understand what you mean. I did something similar when I was growing up, but I think I stopped doing it when I was about twenty or so. It wasn't conscious decision, but I think that it was the point when my mask was fully developed. Now I just always wear the same mask when interacting with people. My mask at least is combination of parts from different characters I've picked up during the journey.
Btw Reacher the series is great and I think actually that Jack Reacher is autistic. Have read all the Reacher books from Lee Child
Just got to wait for the car to break with the same error code, then pay 740 quid for the replacement part and then labour for fixing it...absolute wallet breaker!!
For me, the mask is made of other people I've met and scenarios I've witnessed. Whereas I see the characters as the personality to accompany my actual decision making process, or regulator to my over emotional state for certain situations.
We're all different, but I'd be a neurotic mess without falling into the boundaries of characters.
I've never read the books, but always been a fan of TV adaptions of Reacher. At least they got the casting right for the show...the film, not so much!
Howdy Paul. Wow what a week! I can totally relate to your characters. I think I am an amalgamation of many. I have mentioned that I used movie lines and such throughout my life and I do pull in characters that I like. Of course Star Trek characters Spock and Data when I want to be logical and calm and I get my snarky attitudes from stand up. Wow the lists of characters as I write this are many. Fraiser and Niles Crane come to mind. Wow and Reacher! I love that character. I think my Reacher character will come out at work😁. Great video!
Hey Bryan, I have a long list too but as the video shown...the waffle got away again!
Be interesting to know when Spock and Data are applied in real life. But I guess its a win in situations where logic needs to prevail!
Brilliant. I never thought of that.
Hope it made sense!
Really new to your channel & my diagnosis at 43, loving it. 👌💕 Some amazing content & conversations. Its really, really helped.
Good to hear that
I'm binge-watching your videos, lol! Sorry for commenting so much, but I really appreciate the videos you make!
Haha, no problem. I appreciate it 👍🏻
Hey Paul I uploaded my video this morning and I linked your channel in my video description and i mentioned you right at the beginning of my video ! Have an awesome Sunday
Hi Gemma, I have just given it a watch. Very well done. Hope you enjoy your day.
i guess its about time i hit that sub button and i just have. i'm not a big commenter . i'm really liking your channel. keep it up mate.
Many thanks, much appreciated Neil 👍🏻
This video is gold
Thank you 👍🏻
Great video 😊😊😊
Many thanks 👍🏻
See, this is why I think I have the perfect profession for my autistic brain. I'm an animal behaviorist, so if I look too clean, put-together and professional, then I don't look authentic and the animals will misread my body language. I dress and groom myself to be neutral, comfortable, and simple but recognizable, and I always act upbeat, a little excitable and loose because that's what most canids respond to (wild canids and domestic dogs are my specialty).
It usually results in people having an initial poor judgment of me as a professional in my field, but it changes when I show superior results. It's the best lifestyle I can imagine, and I don't have to play any character but myself.
My favourite vet was a girl called Ruth who was dressed to deal with animals all day, she was cool. Then there is the one now who looks like they could be attending a wedding...how can they get close to animals if they're afraid of getting hair or drool on them 👍🏻
Hope you’re okay. I don’t see a Friday upload. I hope you didn’t get sick.
Hi Catherine. No video this week, haven't had the space to do one. I'll put my only reserve video up 😂
Hi Paul...
How are you?
I dont watch much TV & i dont know who are all those people youve mentioned. ??😄
Ruminating about this video....i think thats an Autistic trait- doesn't mean anything bad per se necessarily ...
God Bless You my friend and be well...❤
I'm buying a new spare tire this morning and getting food provisions & supplies ready
Hope you have got all you need for an easy transition.
I get mind blanks. And you don’t look scruffy
Haha, thanks 👍🏻
I wish I had fallback characters but I never had the imagination, even as a kid.
So my masking takes the form of imitating whoever I'm having to interact with, which is unfortunate as it's right down to the accent and speech mannerisms. Sometimes they look confused like "Are you taking the p*ss?" 😬
That still happens to me too. In fact, if I'm working in Newcastle and interacting with Geordies, you can guarantee my accent will also turn Geordie!
👍👍👍👍👍
👍🏻
It's funny that actors get paid so much to pretend to be characters though
I know. And here I am being a character behind the mask for everyone I have to socialise with. It's not fair 😂