If you’re getting déjà vu, that’s because this is a re-publishing of a video I made in December. Christmas buried it & very few people saw it, but I know you’ll like it! Drop a comment to let me know if you do 🙏
@@AutisticlyRose At first I thought it felt familiar as I must have seen it as a Short. It took me a good 3-4 minutes before realizing that it wasn't (just?) a Short I had seen but the entire video.
The reason I’m pro-self-diagnosis isn’t because of how I feel about psychiatry, it’s because in order to get the supports I need I have to give up some of my legal freedoms. Like with an autism diagnosis a country could legally refuse my visa and not allow me to immigrate. I could be limited in my career, housing and other areas. Ableism is rife everywhere and many places, even developed nations, don’t have or enforce social protection laws. I have an ADHD diagnosis and I have to use that to get supports but ADHD is also poorly understood, so sometimes I don’t get the support I need. It also gets worse as I get older because my support needs are increasing as I age. As an undiagnosed autistic, I was never prepared for that reality and I’m just now starting to grapple with it.
Think of it as a stupidity filter. If I know I am going to be in regular contact with individuals (coworkers, managers, doctors, etc.) I will go out of my way to tell them I am on the spectrum just to gauge their reaction. If they are simultaneously uneducated and willingly close-minded towards this information, odds are pretty high that they are going to have this same attitude and approach to a whole host of other subjects.
@Respawnz Why should people be educated about other types of people? How did we get here? I don't mean to make you feel small, but it seems like you haven't asked yourself these questions. To be clear, I won't respond to anything else on this comment, from you or anyone else. Just take a moment. Consider things. I hope you're having a good day, and a good tomorrow.
@@Respawnz "If they are simultaneously uneducated *and* willingly close-minded towards this information" they're gauging whether the people are willing to take a few seconds to learn, but yeah. risky tactic
The 'why do you want a label' thing has always irked me, most of the time the person already has been given labels 'lazy' 'failure' 'weird' 'crazy' we all know this, if you could trade all those labels for a more concise and less insulting labels. We are not 'wanting a label' we want a name for our lived reality that seems so divergent from the one so many others are describing to us.
Well said. Everyone deserves the right to describe ourselves in our own way, based on our lived experiences. Imposing a label on someone from a position of authority is an act of violence.
The term "label" also feels really degrading. It feels the same as when people say autism or adhd or being Trans are fads. It imparts a sort of frivilousness on them, makes them feel like just words and not inherent experiences and parts of a person's identity. It's like saying that "construction worker" or "dog trainer" are labels. The words are labels, but they describe something more than just a category.
"The Zebra Analogy - An analogy for the importance of a diagnosis and a label. “Why do you need a label?” Because there is comfort in knowing that you are a normal zebra, not a strange horse." This always springs to mind when people argue about the need for 'labels'.
@@MrAndywills Yeh but what if being a Zebra doesnt fit either? What other people want to call you the Zebra and you dont feel or look anything like a Zebra but a camel instead?
"People noticed, they just didn't know what they were seeing" 😭 Too true. The look of fear on people's faces as they started to realize I was different but just didn't know why or how... was something I would wait to happen. They would then start infantilizing me. And all this happened before I ever considered I could be autistic. I just knew that I was worth less, and that they were right to treat me that way. That is why getting diagnosed was the most important thing I have ever done. It has helped me build up a sense of self worth I never had before.
In retrospect, one of the things that sticks in my craw is that a number of people had apparently armchair diagnosed me as autistic and only gossiped about it amongst themselves, but nobody ever thought to help me or scaffold me differently based on that, even when I was visibly struggling or being a pain in the butt.
I am not autistic. I genuinely visualize idioms every single time. I had no idea this was different for other people. Huh. Food for thought. (Image: Little cartoon brain with feet and hands eating porridge from a tiny blue bowl... you're welcome).
I am so sick of people taking about their “strong sense of justice” as a way to prove their opinions correct and elevate themselves above other people. I have a “strong sense of justice” too, and often times I think those people are wrong, not that they don’t *care,* or that I have a *stronger* sense of justice, but that we have different philosophies on what justice is, and we have different perspectives and information on the same topic.
@gigahorse1475 I agree that justice will have different definitions. I think consistency with and generally stricter adherence to our own moral code is what the actual characteristic is.
True. If mine hadn’t have been free and convenient (University program diagnosis), I wouldn’t have bothered. It’s entirely understandable for people with multiple conditions to want a comprehensive list of conditions to increase their likelihood of getting financial support. But for people in my situation (plain ASD, career, owning a house, etc) there really isn’t anything to “get”. If you qualify for provincial welfare due to disability, they can basically send a worker to remind you to clean your place and drive you to the grocery store but that’s about it. They *might* offer to set you up with an unpaid work trial that may or may not decide to hire you for real afterwards.
I think it's worth noting that the social model was developed to describe disability more broadly - that is, literally people in wheelchairs, the "iconic" disability that is the symbol used for parking spaces. When something _isn't_ a disability in the social model of disability, it isn't that it isn't an impairment, but that they are not in an environment where that is made an issue - ie, a fish cannot fly, but they live in the ocean where that's simply not an issue and so their inability to fly is not a disability. In fact, were someone to be able to do something extraordinary like see more colors than other humans, that could be a disability in our current society because nothing in society factors in people who see more colors - digital displays would constantly be depicting confusing, misleading colors, that adaptation birds have wouldn't be adapted for this environment we make that assumes a narrower range of colors. I use an example from the natural world to highlight that the social model does not necessarily mean that disabiliy can only exist due to negligence from society. Disability will always exist no matter how enlightened society's attitudes are because while our social environment has a large impact and is malleable, we will always be constrained by our natural environment that cannot always be overcome by human ingenuity. But the framing of _envirornments_ causing disability rather than being inbuilt into individuals is important as ti then presents addressing disability as an inherently social issue that is the collective responsibility of eveyrone to address rather than on individuals to deal with "personal shortcomings" and is why we now have things like ramps instead of disabled people needing to all buy wheelchairs that can climb stairs. So the social model is not at all in conflict with the idea of facing hardship even when allistics are not around, it isn't the claim that disability is purely the result of ableism, but that disability should be framed in social terms and addressed as a social rather than individual problem.
It's also worth noting that the social model wasn't intended to compete with the medical model, but rather, to work alongside it by recontextualizing many of the issues addressed by the medical model. Unfortunately, as the idea grew, it was affected by tribalism, and people wanting the "correct" solution.
I am on track to getting a PhD in clinical psychology and the number one factor that contributed to my receiving my diagnosis (both when I was self-diagnosed and my clinical one) was going onto YT and typing in something along the lines of "Adult autism diagnosis" thinking that there *must* be at least one or two other people out there who had experienced the same, only to discover myriad women who were (rightfully) pissed at a clinical system that wasn't constructed with them in mind. I paid out-of-pocket for my assessment and it only took me about three months from "Oh, shit. I'm on the spectrum" to "Here are your papers." Although I am a cis white male who looks like he could have been an extra in an AS commercial back in the day, this isn't why my process was so swift. It was because the clinician I went out of my way to choose out of the dozens and dozens of options was, herself, a clinical psychologist on the spectrum. My diagnostic summary doesn't use the term "eye contact" a single time. Avoid ABA-based diagnosticians, make sure no one is going to waste your time with the ADOS, request that any standardized testing administered be allowed to be taken in-home (if they don't trust you to do this genuinely, they aren't worth your time), and--regardless of your own individual gender--ask the clinician's opinion on autistic women and what reasons there might be for why they would fall through the cracks, as even if you're not a woman, how they feel about this particular topic is going to be very relevant to how they approach you as an adult claiming that you too fell through the same cracks.
"There is no finding yourself quite like realizing you're autistic" Absolute truth! It's like being unplugged from the Matrix. A complete paradigm shift. I think my life began when I was diagnosed at 35. Before that I was just existing in a constant state of confusion and dissatisfaction.
@@ReiaTheGeiaYeah, I'm also trans and while figuring out that I'm trans was a big deal, it wasn't until I also realize I'm autistic that the whole paradigm shifted and I finally GOT myself.
Saddly this didn't happen for me, at first I thought it was right, but even 12 months later I was starting realise something didn't feel right. I do wonder how many others are out there that feel this way as the narrative is that everyone getting a diagnosis loves it, and that its the best thing that ever happened for them - but I think there is a small number of us keeping quiet and not wanting to spoilt the party, but I do wonder the other side of coin should be spoken about too.
Oof seriously. I was finally diagnosed a few years ago and it's been such a journey. I feel like I finally understand myself, other people and the world so much better but there's still a lot that I'm learning. It's been a rollercoaster but all in all, I'm SO glad that I finally got my diagnosis. The funny in a sad way part is that I actually figured it out myself when I was a child but my parents laughed at me when I suggested it, then they spent years resisting diagnosis. 🤦🏻♂️ My entire life could've been so different if people had only taken me seriously back when they just saw me as a "gifted but difficult and overly sensitive child." It was audhd all along. At least now I know that for sure though. 😅
Oh god the metaphors thing. Never met a single autistic person who took them as literal as neurotypicals usually think we do. But yeah, you definitely raised some really good points in this video
It is a real thing. I’ve confused a couple of autistic people with my sarcasm and joking before. I made a dark joke to this one young electrician about electrocuting people (dumb joke I know), and he was horrified! He kept saying, “I would never do that!” It was hard to convince him that I was just making a dumb joke and I knew he wouldn’t do that! I felt so bad.
5:32 we actually have zero public pathways for adults to get diagnosed here in ireland. i know it's bad in the uk too but here there's literally no options if you're not able to spend at least €1000, and that's really low-balling it. i got diagnosed at 16 in 2019 but the team that assessed me doesn't even exist anymore. there's almost no services here in general, it's terrifying.
i told my mom i think im autistic. she said she would have seen it in me when i was a kid. the neighbor boy's favorite word for me was "r*t*rd." i told my grandma i think im autistic. she said theres no way i am, im normal. my grandma, my mom, my aunt, and even my great grandma all have ADHD. i tell my dad and step-mom that i think im autistic. they say were all a little autistic. i wish someone would just believe me for once.
That’s tough. My mother never believed me either, even after she provided a questionnaire for my diagnosis that gave me a higher “autism score” than I gave myself. She died not believing it. Turns out I didn’t need her to. I have supportive friends & a partner now, & I feel very validated. I hope things get better for you! There is community out there who will believe you 🫂
However little it helps, I believe you. It took until I was 27 to get my autism diagnosis, and I am still struggling to get my ADHD recognised. I’m sorry they don’t believe you, but that is their failing. I hope you can find a community that will accept you.
If it helps, I believe you. Like legitimately. You wouldn't be making this comment if you didn't have a strong reason to believe it yourself and I trust that you understand your internal experiences. But damn, that is rough, friend. Here's hoping you're able to find the support and validation you need from your loved ones, sooner rather than later ❤
It’s hard for neurodivergent parents to realize their kid is also ND. My parents are ND and were unaware. They didn’t think it was abnormal for me to have blatant meltdowns. They didn’t believe me either… At first. Over time my mom started to believe she has ADHD and autism. She believes me now. I don’t know about my dad. All that to say, your parents may come around. They are from a very different time so it takes a while for them to catch up. Some parents would be upset if their kid is autistic *not* because they are ableist, but because doctors used to tell parents that an autistic child is a sign of unloving parents (not kidding, that’s what they used to believe).
My school doctor asked about my anxiety and depressive symptoms and asked if we should focus more on that and less on the ADHD, and I was like dude, if we focus less on my ADHD those other two problems will get significantly worse actually.
I am an American nonbinary trans person and I've thought I might be autistic for a while. Even though a diagnosis would likely help me with getting some accommodations for college, I hesitate to get one because of the rhetoric surrounding the combination of being both autistic AND trans. Don't know what it's like there, but here lots of law makers have decided autistic people don't have the capacity to know if they're trans or not and therefore shouldn't have access to gender affirming care. (Though let's be real, they don't want anyone to have access.) It's infuriating that I have to cut myself into pieces to have even a limited amount of autonomy.
Obviously I'm not 100% certain on this, but I'd be willing to bet money that the first person to look at either end of the traditional gender binary, shrug their shoulders at both, and think to themselves "Yeah I don't really understand either" was almost certainly on the autism spectrum. As someone who not only does have a clinical diagnosis but also works with a handful of local clinicians (usually also ND) who are going out of their way to create spaces where older adolescent/adults on the spectrum can interact with each other and learn things about autism outside of stacking blocks and interpretting coloring books, the general consensus about the intersection of autism and identifying as any sort of non-traditional gender is basically "Yeah, no shit they're related." I'm a cis guy from the South and when I first heard about the disproportionate amount of autistics who openly identified as trans my immediate reaction was "Well yeah, that makes sense." If you find the right sort of clinician, telling them you're non-binary would (and ought to) be interpretted as evidence in support of your ASD. Yes, even I myself am a bit horrified by some of the laws I see that specifically require autistic people to have extensive psychological evaluations before they can properly receive gender-affirming care, but you're right that this is just another tactic in a long list of strategies used to "cleanse the culture of impurities" by whatever means they can. Not only is the general autism community welcoming towards trans people (beyond just base tolerance), professionals who actually know what the hell they're doing are as well. Don't let crazy right-wing reactionaries stop you from pursuing whatever help you may feel like you need. If a clinical diagnosis isn't an option you can or even want to pursue, there might be local support groups in your area, as they are starting to crop up at an exponential rate. If you were to show up to one of these groups and briefly explain your situation, you might get one or two nay-sayers, but I guarantee they will be the ones to receive funny looks of "what the hell is wrong with them?" and not you.
aren't nonbinary and trans mutually exclusive? 🤔 But yeah, statistically being autistic or trans makes it more likely to be the other too. Good luck finding out/getting diagnosed!
“People noticed, they just didn’t know what they were seeing.” Yes this! One year in elementary (primary) school I was placed in a special class for “building social skills” because my teacher noticed I was bullied and didn’t have a lot of friends. I don’t think this teacher even knew what the class was for, let alone what I needed, because that class was specifically for kids who struggled to coexist with other kids. So it was mostly me trying to not step into conflict with the other kids who needed a totally different kind of help from me lol.
The examples you gave regarding the questions on the autism assessment tests brought back good memories. My therapist couldn't even score the test, because I couldn't answer most of the questions, but she still ended up immediately diagnosing me with ASD based on the explanations I was giving them as to WHY I couldn't answer them. At some point, every time I'd complain that a question was "simply too ambiguous and I required more information to give a proper answer", she'd simply nod and giggle to herself. She thought my thought process was quite amusing and we both had a good laugh out of those questions.
I've had this exact issue! I've taken a ton of slf assessments, and I can't stand how the questions are worded! Give me specifics! Give me alternate examples! One that I saw was "would you rather be at a party or library" like the answer is library but maybe a person has two reasons they'd pick library and another has seven reasons. The question doesn't reliably encompass a reasonable amount of possible scenarios and personalities.
It's rather uncanny how similar our childhoods were, and we're of similar age. I really do enjoy hearing your personal stories and perspective! I was, unfortunately, luckier than you and got my diagnosis at 2 years, and by the time I was in my 2nd grade, had a pretty decent and empathetic/supporting child psychologist at school. She predicted I would have a "hard crash" by the time I go to High School -- and I did, with the signs happening in Junior High as the bullying got worse and my hate/suicidal thoughts become more prominent. Early diagnosis or not, it doesn't change your experiences that much, or may even worsen it from the inevitable infantilization. Hell, I didn't really acknowledge my autism until my upbringing at 20. The amount of gatekeeping seems to stem from the amount of ignorance around autism as it often comes from a place of arrogance and lack of empathy.
Yeah. What late diagnosed people often don't get is that just because a diagnosis helped them, it sadly often doesn't help early diagnosed people. It should, in a perfect world, but often it does not get them help, just stigma and an "reason" to treat them badly. I was diagnosed at 8, and it didn't protect me neither from bullying/abuse nor stigma nor self-hate and only brought me therapy I only have bad memories of; of being made to feel wrong and dumb
Once I graduate college this year I want to get assessed. I'm probably autistic or have ADHD (or both) and have struggled with mental health issues for almost ten years. I still have to run through the pros and cons list of telling people whether or not I have depression and anxiety because I know they'll see me differently. What I almost hate more than the eggshell tiptoeing, is the "Oh I never would have guessed" reaction. As if I'm meant to be incredibly melancholic, darkly monochromatic, and hiding SH scars in order to be mentally ill. Stereotypes like that are why I denied the severity of my problems until things got very serious. I'm doing a lot better now, but it is intensely aggravating to feel like you have to "prove" your mental illness to someone in order for it to be real. Thank you for this.
In our small town, my little sister was definitely different. If she were 7 now and sitting in front of a diagnostician, she'd be an easy day. When she was little, the fear of the label "autistic" was incredibly strong. Also, she wasn't a boy, and she was very verbal. So, no way she was autistic, right? Today, as a 30ish woman, she has spent years seeking a diagnosis. There are resources (not money, but training programs and counseling). When people ask why the label is so important to her, I liken it to knowing your name. Your name labels you, but it's also so much a part of who you are. I hope she can find what she needs soon.
Fun fact: ADHD is pretty stereotypical for autism. Autism has a higher comorbidity rate than most disorders. The most common comorbidities for autism are ADHD, depressive disorders, and sleep disorders.
Don't forget about PTSD, particularly for women. The mere audacity of being born on the spectrum and female in the West gives you a likelihood of experiencing an episode of PTSD at some point in your lifetime that is triple of that of US Veterans who have seen combat.
@@faigelable I would have to find a study involving the prevalence rates of comorbidities. I learned about this when I took an autism psychology class in undergrad.
I very much agree with you re: self-diagnozing. Take me for example: I suspect I have ADHD, but I was born in the 1980s, when ADHD was not a thing in my country (still isn't a thing, it's not included in the medical classification), economy was in the gutter, same with my family, and I'm lucky to be very strong-willed and quick-witted. So I've been white-knuckling through life for decades without any support or medication, just through sheer power of will and physical exercise. Even if I could be diagnosed in my country (which I cannot be), I live in a hugely expensive city, so wasting money on multiple therapists who may or may not help isn't an option. Watching videos of people who share the same experience doesn't necessarily help, but it's still nice and heart-warming to be able to put a name on the thing.
34:10 I'm very thankful that Norwegians typically don't like speaking to strangers, and most will choose to stand on the bus than sit next to somebody they do not know.
I can recommend a book "Empire of Normaity" by Robert Chapman. It's a bit hard to read but it gives a really thorough analysis of both pathology model and anti-psychatry and seeks that balance.
I was born in 1986, and when I got tested for autism (and other cognitive stuff) by my school system, the specialist they hired said I couldn't be, because my IQ was too high. Even the most Karen of AutismMoms would recognize that as silly these days. There's still such a strong need for adult autism diagnostic services, because plenty slipped through the cracks in childhood, and a LOT more recently than we pretend.
I am unable to get a referral because a referral has to come from a psychotherapist and a psychotherapist is not covered by the public health system. I am too poor to get assessed. I have joined my relevant union however as I have yet to do any work for them, because I lost all my seniority when I migrated in order to be able to access Trans Health Care, it could be several years before i can access any benefits provided by said union. In the meantime I feel like I am getting it from both sides, I have this understanding that helps me to navigate my life, but I cannot access any support external to me which requires a diagnosis. After watching the whole video me back to say you are awesome and inspiring and insightful and we stan.
Thank you for talking about the generalization of "neurotypical". When I hear those statements I often think "how do you know?" and also "this just sounds like Western English-speaking culture, not NT". Let's try to minimize clear-cut binaries in our language and us-vs-them narratives - humans are much more complicated than that.
This is a brilliant overview that will help many who are exploring their Autistic way of being on their path towards Autistic community, towards improved overall wellbeing. Thank you!🙏🏽
As a neurotypical person, I can confirm I know absolutely nothing, because I have never sought a single piece of information. I study questions the way samurai study the blade, to hone my instrument of harm into its ultimate shape. My Ph. D. might as well be killology /s In all seriousness though, all this extreme discourse about “did you know neurotypical people do not wipe their bums?” etc. is a big red herring. Some neurodivergent folks have trauma associated with interacting with neurotypical people, and so have justified mistrust of a society that privileges neurotypical people. However, sometimes that trauma takes that justified mistrust and turns it into unjustifiable extreme forms.
It would be really easy for me to get a chip on my shoulder when it comes to neurotypical thinkers. I have always had a distaste for stereotyping though, and I can't see myself doing it now. Autistic people are a minority. If we are ever to gain meaningful accommodations we will need neurotypical allies, and a lot of them. It doesn't help to convince parents of autistic children that we have their family's best interests at heart when we demonize them for their ignorance. And that ignorance is promulgated by groups like Autism Speaks. If we really want to help autistic kids we shouldn't do that.
Very important, worth a rewatch and a share! Love the collaboration. Sam's channel is also very comfy and informative. Thank you both for all your hard work! 💚🖤
I've vaguely known that I was autistic for the past 15 years, but your videos have persuaded me to actually seek a diagnosis and all the support and accommodations I can access. I didn't even realize it was something I needed until watching literally all your videos on autism in the past like, two days; I always assumed that I just was autistic and ALSO a terrible person with no willpower. I'm having the whole "'It's ALL autism?' 'Always was.'" moment. Not to get sappy in your comment section but the work you're doing matters; you're carrying the torch, building on the work of those who came before you, and helping more people find communities that they deserve to have a place in
Diagnosis in USA even harder to get and more expensive. And support isn’t easily available to people with visible disabilities. I don’t see myself attempting to get official diagnosis anytime soon…
Your channel has been one that has helped me over the past like 1.5yrs. Everything just clicked when I started looking into autism and living my life s such has made my life infinitely better. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to afford an assessment ($3k+) but part of me just doesnt care anymore either. Anyway, thank you!
01:03:30 Actually, sometimes we don't know whether people find us rude etc. Because this can depend on culture and social norms. I live in the Netherlands, a country with a culture that values forthrightness. And for me, I'm a person that likes to live on the periphery. I hide. I don't stand out. So I don't 'cause offense'. And I'm a language person, which means I love the nuances of language and communication, which makes me extremely sensitive to how I phrase things. And I thus hardly ever cause offense. And even then, the 'offense' was just against some silly, arbitrary social construct. A construct that made it apparently impossible for people to read between the lines and see my innocent intent. Social constructs I haven't ever really cared about since I was little anyway. So I never tried to fit in, and lived on the periphery. See my problem? 🤷♀
Yo Samedy Sam is incredible what a get though this video is incredible. I'm an autism advocate. Even studied it at masters level. You've got everything here. My own misgivings about generalising and more. So much to explore. I'm really suffering with EDS and trying to get a diagnosis. Would love to see you over on mastodon where there's a vibrant AuDHD and ND community. You're amazing. Glad you've found success and love and validation. Truly amazing stuff. At some point when I've got out of this burnout I and got support I would love to collaborate. Anyway that's maybe the gin talking. Self medicating with gin is not ideal but thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for this, as someone who figured out I had ADHD through TikTok (clinically diagnosed twice now) and strongly suspect I am also autistic, it has cooked me seeing how many criticise the adhd awareness spread there which isn't in the DSM as misinformation (some of it is, a lot of it isn't). Yes there is some misinformation (most of it is overwhelmingly benign however) but these same concerned people seem to always fail to consider the very real consequences to people who are neurodivergent living without any understanding of what that actually is. It really does feel like a mixture of anti-neurodivergency stuff and gatekeeping by neurodivergent people who are uncomfortable with a wider range of people being included under the same label as them, imposing their own limited experience or knowledge of the breadth of their own shared condition.
Immediately ordered Yo Samdy's book! I'm about to go visit my mother in law (who is in her own process of figured out her autism) so I'll give her the book as a gift. And then recommend this video!
I'm still flabbergasted on how Lucky I was when I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 8... in a third world country with ignorant views regarding neurodivergency and also being AFAB! It certainly didn't made my life easier on the long run, and still had to stop education at a very early age due issues, but at least never had to struggle if somehow I've had to realize it later in life and struggle for a diagnosis... my life not knowing it would have fucked me more...
Years ago I got fired in part but explicitly because I was starting to figure out that I’m on the spectrum. I only just realized how fucked up that is.
I was diagnosed around the age of 10. Generally I don't have any issue with self-diagnosis. I do not agree everyone should stay away from official diagnosis. Some people who self-diagnose though (esp younger teens/20's) seem to either use it as a shield for their behaviors or social transgression, or don't tend to have any that would be considered interruptive to their day to day lives. And that's not a hard line I draw, just a fuzzy one. I don't know everything about people online, but I have had a lot more issues worth talking about than some of these folks. Maybe it's just because I'm further along in my life, I don't know, so I try not to judge harshly. I do take issue with people who seem to use autism as an excuse to act badly though. Yes, some of us have issues, even anger issues. But I've had to apologize, work on myself and grow. So when I see someone use it as an excuse not to grow and learn, that's when it becomes difficult for me, and I feel the need to gatekeep to protect people. And finally, about people who are 100% against getting diagnosed. Not for utilitarian reasons, but resentment of the systems. I wish they would go and get diagnosed and be the ones to vocalize their concerns LOUDLY. I want people like this to be heard more often, so diagnosis can be more open, and I hope they have access to the same sort of advocacy I had in doing it. It takes a LOT of spoons to be that kind of person, I get it. But if you *can*, please challenge the system! It should NOT be as hard as it is and take as long as it takes. People with autism often give up just because how tiresome it is in many places, and people who need real help; they're slipping through the cracks.
I'm not autistic but I am on the neurodivergent spectrum. I was diagnosed when I was 18, but before that my childhood was one where I did have trouble and maitaining friendships (it certainly didn't help that we moved around a lot) coming off as weird and quirky as well as info dumping and having meltdowns. The reason I initially went into therapy was due to anger management issues, but the one therapist I saw did bring up the possibility that maybe I was on the spectrum. I got referred to a psyche evaluation afterwards and I had an official diagnosis. On one hand I did feel a little disappointed that I was not diagnosed sooner (being a girl and all), but the fact I actually did get a diagnosis it felt...really validating. I felt like it explained so much and that it felt like there was nothing wrong with me. I'm not broken, I'm just different. And that's okay. And hey, I am a little weird, but I'm a lot of other things too. And I do find that people enjoy being around me once they get to know me 😊. Great video, pretty relatable for me
"I'm not autistic but I am on the neurodivergent spectrum." Could you explain to me precisely what the difference is for you? Although we are admittedly in a YT comments section, I promise this isn't an antagonistic question. I'm just genuinely curious why you would say you're not autistic and then proceed to list off a bunch of ASD-related symptoms. While I do understand people can be ND without necessarily being autistic, what is it about your situation in particular that puts you in this category?
@@cda6590 Actually I may have made a mistake. For context my technical diagnosis would be level 1 ASD, but at the time of my evaluation, my diagnosis was Asperger's. This was before the name was changed and reclassified as ASD (for obvious reasons). So by that reasoning I may actually be autistic. Now that I think about if I were to take another evaluation I probably would be diagnosed as autistic. Thinking about it more, I think my initial comment might have partly been me internalizing the stigma behind autism. I'm sorry 😞
@@ThePupYT Hi, Asperger's is a part of the Autism Spectrum, it was always classified as a type of autism as well, so I'm not sure how you got the idea it was not autism? Basically the old vision of it was "autism" was given to autistic people who could not fit in with society and had intellectual disabilities, and "asperger's" was given to the autistics who could speak and showed intelligence, and were deemed able to function well enough to stay in society. Hope that clears things up! :)
"The friends that I did have, the main thing we had in common was being rejected by the rest of the kids" I felt like this growing up but I wasn't bullied I just got the sense that most kids didn't like me. I wasn't invited to parties.
The part about women being gaslit into thinking they aren’t autistic for the most trivial stuff is honestly the reality 99% of the time. My psych ALSO prescribed me antidepressants and you know what happened? It made me violently ill. I took it only twice before having to stop altogether cause it was terrible!!! I felt nauseous but couldnt throw up, i couldnt sleep even with the sleeping meds prescribed to me, i felt like i couldnt breathe! I wanted to go to the hospital cause it was that bad. You know how my psych responded? She was heavily confused and tried to gaslight me and tell me i was “dramatic” or “overreacting” and that what i experienced was “normal”. 🫠 i never spoke to her again. I was wrongfully diagnosed with bipolar disorder (which i heard was common in undiagnosed autistic women) despite my evidence to the contrary. 😢 Anyone here had similar experiences?
I lived most of my life with undiagnosed autism, and over time I developed methods to deal with the challenges I faced. I realised that I was possibly autistic because my dad had an autistic patient in his clinic and realised his methods of dealing with stuff were similar to mine, so he began to give me suggestions that actually helped a lot. However after years of dealing with stuff I didn't really need a formal legal diagnosis for anything. The only reason I got one was because my country has free healthcare and it wouldn't cost a dime. It did help me feel better about myself and self discovery but my GP's, Parents' and psychiatrist's word is enough for me. It does allow me to ride for free in buses though.
30:26 OH GOD this just unlocked a memory... I once got chewed out and banned by some teenagers on a discord server for not adding a tone indicator after joking about how I "kin" some unpleasant cartoon character that everyone dislikes. Sometimes it feels like neurodivergent online zoomers somehow end up constructing these elaborate sets of inter-community implied unspoken social rules deviating from which leads to ostracization not unlike that which we experience in the offline neurotypical world. It's kind of disheartening really :(
I had a long write up, but I mostly just wanted say Ive been a fan since your Sia video and I just got my dual AuDHD diagnosis late last year! Thank you for these videos for the past 3 years 💙
17:40 oh damn yeah, its aweful when the tests come back negative. I had one call where the person on the other end cheerfully told me my [insert tested organ here] was absolutely fine. And it just struck me, because that was the opposite of what I wanted to hear. No ill will to the caller, I'm sure to them it felt like good news to be able to tell me that nothings wrong, but to me, I *knew* something was wrong, and all the test represented was a failure for anyone to be able to diagnose and treat the actual issue.
You're like the very yin to my Yang. Almost every detail, every feeling, every memory and damn you're funny. Had to comment midway and grab a drink (I see you clinking) then onto the big screen.
not in a “this saved my life” kind of way, but in the sense that I run into chains of compounding burnouts (I’m an organizer in a party, the local TUC and the local PSC groups). my neurological state can be difficult but you always remind me to be kinder to myself - it is so invaluable to see my struggles reflected so clearly in you. it really brings me back to earth when I’m reminded that the struggle is necessary but that I need to spend time caring for myself
Hey I think we got diagnosed by the same place in Dublin! And I too am happy I went for it, I understand myself so much better which means less guild, fewer shutdowns, better mental health.
Great video (again!), Mica! 😊I also am compelled to envision the ridiculous-to-horrible actuality of metaphors in my head (although I tend to add sfx to the raining cats and dogs thing, which makes it somewhat inappropriately hilarious). AAA! -- and picturing the skin on the teeth! YES! Ick . . . and you know you'd be able to just kind of move the skin around with your tongue and feel the teeth there underneath it 🤢. . . 🤮
Since the NDIS (national disability insurance scheme) was introduced to Australia, access as a disabled person has been more restrictive. Especially for adults. I have a diagnosis. I went through the process, and even with some back and forth was rejected. The frustration of trying to get support is immeasurable.
🦓💙🦓💙🦓 I can relate to a lot of what you've shared here, thank you! 💙💙 "Once I knew what to push for". Pertinent. Why do you want a label..... For the same reason you've gone to the doctor's because your chest is wheezy, and you've got a bad cough that you've had for a while, flu like symptoms etc. creating a daily struggle in terms of the life and health you want. Or is it not important to know if you are experiencing pneumonia (the label. In the same way that any other medical issue is also a label). Not important to understand risks (what may worsen it, or have a negative impact), what is beneficial to ease it (what supports you might need such as medication) etc. Why is that question asked more frequently with specific things, as opposed to other things, when the basic process for medical concerns is always the same. Suspect there's something wrong, draw a rough conclusion/self diagnose, see medical professional, be given official diagnosis, directed towards other professionals/ supports/ change in lifestyle/ medication etc. I made personal comments about myself throughout the years, observations and reflections of myself, it's only now that I'm understanding what I was actually noticing.
From my experience, I think you underestimate how many people actually embrace corporate "culture", especially off the internet. Sure, you don't have to be neurodivergent to not care for corporate narratives and how immensely simplistic and alienating they are, but living up to them is always going to be easier for less marginalized groups. While I don't think simply blaming the neurotypicals is accurate, some people are big jerks who rear their ugly heads, often spouting what they commonly hear. I rarely see these people called out even if the ideas they proselytize were clearly not thought about for more than a nanosecond.
I remember hearing Neurotypical people can block out all sounds, and can focus on one sound, someone called Paige something said that, I think she's famous on TikTok for Autistic content. I feel that makes crossing a road more dangerous if a person CAN block all sounds out, more getting hit by a car , or lorry something.
It's probably better understood as neurotypicals are better at unconsciously filtering background noise out, and determining what is and isn't background noise unconsciously. Vehicle noise when crossing the road isn't background noise. We actually actively teach this to kids, I remember loads of adverts for how to cross the road when I was a kid that make a big deal about intentionally using your ears to listen for cars. It's not like putting on a pair of headphones where you can only hear what you're focusing on (this actually can be a symptom of ADHD hyperfocus).
I agree with the social contructs points made, just careful not to create and reinforce a new one with a section of society demonised and sidelined and shamed just for being. It's all I'm hearing day in day out all while suffering along with everyone else, I'm not in charge or have any agency in any matter but am constantly told I'm the ' big bad' F that.
What's more it's a freakn copout and also gaslighting . The following observation does not apply to all, which is the actual point I want to make, stop stereotyping and throwing exclusive blame to one group, it 's a lie. I've observed men of all shades are pushed around by cruel and lazy women who demand more and more sacrifice, while they hide behind a projected illusion of innocence. I love women and consider myself to be a feminist, so sorry, we all have to take responsibility for the past and the future. Grrr P.S. love your show you're great.
If it's of any relief, in Spain psychologists that are applying for Clinical Psychologist Internal Residency (basically, a program that prepares you to work for the Public Health System) don't study ABA to be one of the therapy options for autistic people. I studied it at the university but that's because my teacher didn't update her lectures
I love it how you are having a sort of a dialogue with your other-self, and fun alongside. I do it too. Long before I was diagnosed autistic, I invented sort of a mind game to entertain myself and practice conversations. I divided my personality into 4 distinctly varying in traits possessed parts, and they are having conversations sometimes, or one berates the other for doing something stupid, we all agreed not to do etc. Funny thing is that 2 are male, one is women, and one is an animal (my spirit/totem animal - badger), so a non-speaker. What made me do that back then? Nowadays I begin to think I might be so called non-binary, whatever that means. though I have never dared it in public. but they (the people, the strangers, the in-your-eyes-gazers, the askers-of-intrusive-questions) wouldn't probably pick it up, since they consider what I say most of the time cryptic or nonsense anyway
btw referring to own alterego as my otherself I found in a scifi book I read long time ago, and I forgot the title of ot. Except there they had technology making it possible to give a body to all those otherselves, a clone body, and the duo always behaved strangly, like twins
My sister/captor used the "fact" the mentally disabled People working in the local area is more than enough "proof" that "I" am able to do the same (she used the R word, BTW... this is what I am up against) No, sis, THEY ARE BEING EXPLOITED. ofc I cannot say this to her, as she reacts violently to anything that counters her worldview. Abusive, one could argue...
I watched this the first time around and it's a shame that it didn't get more engagement then so like, comment for the algorithm and also I'll just let this play in the background of something else I'm watching ;D
All of my life people have pointed out that I am very literal. I wasn't bullied as much in grade school because I was bigger than most of the kids but then I moved to Texas where the kids were bigger. A woman I met recently through my wife's theater spotted me as Autistic. When she had a chance to talk to me she told me she was Autistic in the second sentence she said to me. We hade several hours worth of conversation in about an hour-and-a-half speaking about our special interests. After describing how my thoughts work to my wife she said that it seems like the way people should all think. I don't use TikTok and not for any reason, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I've suspected I was Autistic since 2003 when my cousin suggested it and he is Autistic and diagnosed as such. It's very true that we are easily bullied and not just in the physical sense. Please tell Boba I said hi.
The internet is an amazing thing. I have in fact been watching a video where a person mentioned in passing a diagnosed sleep condition where you don't reset to a 24 hour day every night so your schedule rotates around the clock.... my shocked 'That's a real thing! we just called it being on Martian standard time and assumed we would grow out of it' I didn't, and I don't have an official diagnosis because that specialist doesn't exist here, but now I have a name, grace for myself and tips and tricks for a better way to navigate what's happening. Circadian rhythm sleep disorder FYI. The internet gave me the words for my lived experience.
I heard more often even worse version of "Why are you doing it like that?" - "What is wrong with you?" That justice hypothesis infers difference in moral compasses people have, but it does not imply that some are better than others. Strong it that context means that autistic stick to their own, not that it's better. To interpret it as causing autistic people to consider themselves better, is a common error in statistics,, people thiink correlation implies causation. and it is the double empathy problem in my opinion, maybe NT people would consider themselves better if the roles were reversed.
At about the 30 min mark, and seeing such things said on social media really confuses me (as someone who's exploring whether they may have ADHD or autism). It really muddies the waters and it's made me completely at a loss of who to 'trust' when it comes to autism traits or symptoms. All I know is that I've felt 'off', 'different', 'other' my whole life and my long :( list of mental health diagnoses doesn't cover half of what I feel or experience, but at this point (after seeing so many contradictory tweets!) idk what's 'normal' and what's not. I do like this channel -- does anyone have any recommendations for similar autism-focused channels that are *trustworthy*/accurate?
Ich bin auch deutsch, und ich hoffe du spricht und verstehst unserer Sprache, falls nicht, kein Problem, dann kann ich es übersetzen, aber unter uns deutschen, also jeder der deutsch spricht 😅 und das beinhaltet auch Österreicher und Schweizer, es ist halt wirklich so dass unsere Kultur ähnlicher zu dem ist, wie Autisten sind, und das hat mir in meinem Leben sehr geholfen, dass ich dann besser masken konnte und weniger als komisch angesehen wurde, als bspw. in Amerika. Und wenn ich mir anhöre, wie strikt die sozialen Regeln in Amerika sind, dann finde ich es entweder total komisch und sau kompliziert, oder ich bin froh, dass es hier nicht so ist. Wir haben eine ziemlich direkte Kultur, das ist mir bei den meisten Deutschen aufgefallen. Und kann auch sein dass es wegen meiner Bubble ist aber wir in der Freundesgruppe kommunizieren idR immer direkt über unsere Bedürfnisse und Gedanken und sagen, was wir sagen wollen, ohne vom Gegenüber zu erwarten, dass sie irgendwie unsere Gedanken lesen. Irgendwie find ichs auch voll unhöflich anzunehmen, dass andere deine Gedanken lesen sollen und dann beleidigt sein wenn die das nicht tun, und dass es in Deutschland tatsächlich nicht so üblich ist. Aber du hast Recht: es gibt andere neurodivergente Behinderungen, die das genaue Gegenteil von Autismus ist, bspw. dass es Borderliner gibt, die dann extremes Splitting erleben, wenn sie nicht das hören, was sie hören wollen, es aber nicht direkt kommunizieren. Deswegen hast du da recht und es ist nicht gut alles in nem Topf zu werfen, weil seelische Behinderungen so unterschiedlich sein können! Und wenn man darüber nachdenkt, sind die wenigsten Leute rein neurotypisch. Zumindest in Deutschland hatte jeder Zweiter mindestens einmal an nh Depression gelitten, und es gibt mehr neurodivergente Menschen als man denken würde, aber das sind nicht alles Autisten, sondern auch Menschen mit anderen Behinderungen. Wie bspw. LRS. Wir hatten eine in der Klasse mit LRS und auf erstem Blick trifft sie auf alle allistischen und neurotypischen Klischés zu weil sie eben kein Autist ist
I think a lot of govs would love for us to be quiet and get back in our box. TikTok and social media has awakened & given us a voice- we’re not going anywhere now 😂
I had very few friends throughout the 13 schools school days that my (I suspect also AuDHD) mum dragged me around to. In hindsight, most of the girls I connected with showed very neurodivergent traits and/or were highly marginalised like me. My best school friend in the last year (yr 9. I couldn't finish school with the lack of support and my pathologies) was a flamboyant super camp boy, highly intelligent and, quite possibly, neurodivergent. I ended up VERY shut down, deeply depressed, near mute and self harming, oh also anorexic. Still, I didn't get my diagnosis until late last year, at 50. Also, I like to say "SpecDar" it just rolls off the tongue nicely. I have autistic and AuDHD children, parents, cousins, sisters and a brother, very few of which are diagnosed and yet, nonetheless, they are what they are. Very few of us have been motivated to spend the 1000's of $ required. I'm still paying mine off.
I needed to watch this. Im one of those people who tends to ignore anything going on on Tiktok as possibly misinformation. But i do have a question in terms of accomodations for neurodivergent people at work, and what can be done?
1. I've heard some researchers refer to ASD as a disorder of high intelligence. 2. A pattern of strengths and weaknesses or high across the board isn't indicated with a general, scaled score IQ described as "high", so that would be interesting to know. 3. Autism is a disorder characterized by social difficulties. SOCIAL. Not low intelligence. I hope you at least got a report that you can refer to?
I'm German (Autistic/ADHD) and lived in Ireland for 9 years. I prefer Irish cultural norms to German ones. I think a lot of people just forget that we can have personalities and personal preferences too...
1:00:55 this feels like my experience on every test that has something to do with my own experiences. On most questionares, if the answers i dont know and it depends were an option, they would probably make up the majority of my answers. Do other people notice this too? I get the feeling that most others dont put any thought into these, so im not sure if its actually really common.
The testing for POTS should be fairly straightforward and accessible (with a waiting period) in countries with okay health care. It doesn’t require expensive MRI time, but likely does require a cardiologist referral. I was nearly referred for tilt table testing as a teenager, but instead they did an electrophysiology study via catheter to find my sick sinus syndrome (makes my heart rate drop when it should increase, eg with fear or reaching upwards - kind of the opposite of POTS, now resolved with a pacemaker). If you think you have POTS, your doctor should be able to get you tested.
the number of people who have said to me something along the lines of "why do you need a label" is... large. I think a lot of people (in my experience especially gen x and conservative older millennials) view labels as inherently bad or limiting. There seems to be this impression that if a person is allowed to put a label on their differences they will be put into a box from whence they may never escape, and I think that's the case because for them growing up it sort of WAS that way. If you were labeled as those things in their day (or even during my millennial childhood) you often were put into a box that limited peoples expectations of your abilities. But to me a diagnosis would only offer information. options. a REASON for why x, y and z is harder for me than it is for other people. a way to access other people like me and see how they cope with things. and the oft under appreciated legitimacy to speak confidently about my experiences. I'm pretty damn sure i have autism. My friends who are have told me I am. I have taken about a dozen self tests and i get a positive response every damn time. I relate strongly to content from creators like you. Alas, i don't have the 5-8 THOUSAND dollars it would cost me to get diagnosed privately, and the public system is so overwhelmed many of the options out there aren't even taking new patients, never mind the 2-5 year waiting list (to be fair, even private wait lists are often 6 months +) or my own difficulties with the medical system (doctors love to tell me there's nothing wrong with me even when there very definitely is, and my executive dysfunction surrounding doctors visits only gets worse every time it happens. for real, I had a doctor brush off my hyperthyroidism as "just too much stomach acid" and another be completely unconcerned with the fact that i had rib fractures with no apparent cause. going to the GP is like willingly submitting myself to being called a liar for 15 minutes and being charged 80 bucks for it.)
So, the possibility of me being autistic was first raised to me by someone at a party. I have not sought NHS diagnosis for several reasons. Firstly, I already know I'm autistic, I don't need someone else to tell me that. Secondly, I don't think the services available at the end of the waiting list are worthwhile. Thirdly, I have been on a waiting list for NHS trans healthcare for over 4½ years and don't want any potential to be denied healthcare on that basis. Edit: also seems to be parallels between autism assessments and gender dysphoria assessments, though trans people are much more likely to lie and present their gender in more stereotypical ways in order to access the lifesaving healthcare that they need.
If you’re getting déjà vu, that’s because this is a re-publishing of a video I made in December. Christmas buried it & very few people saw it, but I know you’ll like it! Drop a comment to let me know if you do 🙏
Thank you for this comment, I thought I had suddenly gained psychic powers
"I know this video!" and that's ok. came direct from the latest from a_lilian... all good vibes. carry on
@@wearepublicduplicate this comment! I'm just a few minutes in and I'm like this seems suspiciously familiar!
@@AutisticlyRose At first I thought it felt familiar as I must have seen it as a Short. It took me a good 3-4 minutes before realizing that it wasn't (just?) a Short I had seen but the entire video.
Yep, was thinking "Wow I know what you're going to say" very indigo child of me 😂😅
But still want to rewatch❤
The reason I’m pro-self-diagnosis isn’t because of how I feel about psychiatry, it’s because in order to get the supports I need I have to give up some of my legal freedoms. Like with an autism diagnosis a country could legally refuse my visa and not allow me to immigrate. I could be limited in my career, housing and other areas. Ableism is rife everywhere and many places, even developed nations, don’t have or enforce social protection laws. I have an ADHD diagnosis and I have to use that to get supports but ADHD is also poorly understood, so sometimes I don’t get the support I need. It also gets worse as I get older because my support needs are increasing as I age. As an undiagnosed autistic, I was never prepared for that reality and I’m just now starting to grapple with it.
I'm formally diagnosed and yet ppl STILL deny that I'm disabled yet simultaneously complain that my needs are a burden to them 🙃
There’s still a chance one of their braincells will knock into another some day! Stay strong!
Think of it as a stupidity filter. If I know I am going to be in regular contact with individuals (coworkers, managers, doctors, etc.) I will go out of my way to tell them I am on the spectrum just to gauge their reaction. If they are simultaneously uneducated and willingly close-minded towards this information, odds are pretty high that they are going to have this same attitude and approach to a whole host of other subjects.
@@cda6590F'IN REALLLLLL
@Respawnz Why should people be educated about other types of people? How did we get here? I don't mean to make you feel small, but it seems like you haven't asked yourself these questions.
To be clear, I won't respond to anything else on this comment, from you or anyone else. Just take a moment. Consider things. I hope you're having a good day, and a good tomorrow.
@@Respawnz "If they are simultaneously uneducated *and* willingly close-minded towards this information" they're gauging whether the people are willing to take a few seconds to learn, but yeah. risky tactic
The 'why do you want a label' thing has always irked me, most of the time the person already has been given labels 'lazy' 'failure' 'weird' 'crazy' we all know this, if you could trade all those labels for a more concise and less insulting labels. We are not 'wanting a label' we want a name for our lived reality that seems so divergent from the one so many others are describing to us.
Well said.
Everyone deserves the right to describe ourselves in our own way, based on our lived experiences. Imposing a label on someone from a position of authority is an act of violence.
The term "label" also feels really degrading. It feels the same as when people say autism or adhd or being Trans are fads. It imparts a sort of frivilousness on them, makes them feel like just words and not inherent experiences and parts of a person's identity. It's like saying that "construction worker" or "dog trainer" are labels. The words are labels, but they describe something more than just a category.
"The Zebra Analogy - An analogy for the importance of a diagnosis and a label. “Why do you need a label?” Because there is comfort in knowing that you are a normal zebra, not a strange horse." This always springs to mind when people argue about the need for 'labels'.
@@MrAndywills Yeh but what if being a Zebra doesnt fit either? What other people want to call you the Zebra and you dont feel or look anything like a Zebra but a camel instead?
"People noticed, they just didn't know what they were seeing" 😭 Too true. The look of fear on people's faces as they started to realize I was different but just didn't know why or how... was something I would wait to happen. They would then start infantilizing me. And all this happened before I ever considered I could be autistic. I just knew that I was worth less, and that they were right to treat me that way. That is why getting diagnosed was the most important thing I have ever done. It has helped me build up a sense of self worth I never had before.
In retrospect, one of the things that sticks in my craw is that a number of people had apparently armchair diagnosed me as autistic and only gossiped about it amongst themselves, but nobody ever thought to help me or scaffold me differently based on that, even when I was visibly struggling or being a pain in the butt.
TIL that "Do you take metaphors literally" doesn't mean if I take them literally but rather if I conceptualize their literal meaning *mind blown*
wait wait can you explain that
edit: realizing i should probably wait to finish the video cause it's probably mentioned there 💀
I am not autistic. I genuinely visualize idioms every single time. I had no idea this was different for other people. Huh. Food for thought. (Image: Little cartoon brain with feet and hands eating porridge from a tiny blue bowl... you're welcome).
Wait what 😭
How else could one conceptualise a metaphor?
Taking, too literally, the question about taking metaphors literally :)
Thanks for pointing out that a strong adherence to your own moral compass isn't the same as having the ideal moral compass.
I am so sick of people taking about their “strong sense of justice” as a way to prove their opinions correct and elevate themselves above other people. I have a “strong sense of justice” too, and often times I think those people are wrong, not that they don’t *care,* or that I have a *stronger* sense of justice, but that we have different philosophies on what justice is, and we have different perspectives and information on the same topic.
@gigahorse1475 I agree that justice will have different definitions. I think consistency with and generally stricter adherence to our own moral code is what the actual characteristic is.
I'm glad for my diagnosis but kinda lowkey just wish I had my $1,500 back.
Yeah and also while it’s cool to definitively know, it’s also really cool that I loose some rights (sarcasm)
$1,500? It's double that where I live
Ouch
And certain countries will no longer let you become a citizen. Grrrr.
True. If mine hadn’t have been free and convenient (University program diagnosis), I wouldn’t have bothered.
It’s entirely understandable for people with multiple conditions to want a comprehensive list of conditions to increase their likelihood of getting financial support. But for people in my situation (plain ASD, career, owning a house, etc) there really isn’t anything to “get”. If you qualify for provincial welfare due to disability, they can basically send a worker to remind you to clean your place and drive you to the grocery store but that’s about it. They *might* offer to set you up with an unpaid work trial that may or may not decide to hire you for real afterwards.
I think it's worth noting that the social model was developed to describe disability more broadly - that is, literally people in wheelchairs, the "iconic" disability that is the symbol used for parking spaces. When something _isn't_ a disability in the social model of disability, it isn't that it isn't an impairment, but that they are not in an environment where that is made an issue - ie, a fish cannot fly, but they live in the ocean where that's simply not an issue and so their inability to fly is not a disability. In fact, were someone to be able to do something extraordinary like see more colors than other humans, that could be a disability in our current society because nothing in society factors in people who see more colors - digital displays would constantly be depicting confusing, misleading colors, that adaptation birds have wouldn't be adapted for this environment we make that assumes a narrower range of colors.
I use an example from the natural world to highlight that the social model does not necessarily mean that disabiliy can only exist due to negligence from society. Disability will always exist no matter how enlightened society's attitudes are because while our social environment has a large impact and is malleable, we will always be constrained by our natural environment that cannot always be overcome by human ingenuity. But the framing of _envirornments_ causing disability rather than being inbuilt into individuals is important as ti then presents addressing disability as an inherently social issue that is the collective responsibility of eveyrone to address rather than on individuals to deal with "personal shortcomings" and is why we now have things like ramps instead of disabled people needing to all buy wheelchairs that can climb stairs.
So the social model is not at all in conflict with the idea of facing hardship even when allistics are not around, it isn't the claim that disability is purely the result of ableism, but that disability should be framed in social terms and addressed as a social rather than individual problem.
It's also worth noting that the social model wasn't intended to compete with the medical model, but rather, to work alongside it by recontextualizing many of the issues addressed by the medical model. Unfortunately, as the idea grew, it was affected by tribalism, and people wanting the "correct" solution.
I am on track to getting a PhD in clinical psychology and the number one factor that contributed to my receiving my diagnosis (both when I was self-diagnosed and my clinical one) was going onto YT and typing in something along the lines of "Adult autism diagnosis" thinking that there *must* be at least one or two other people out there who had experienced the same, only to discover myriad women who were (rightfully) pissed at a clinical system that wasn't constructed with them in mind.
I paid out-of-pocket for my assessment and it only took me about three months from "Oh, shit. I'm on the spectrum" to "Here are your papers." Although I am a cis white male who looks like he could have been an extra in an AS commercial back in the day, this isn't why my process was so swift. It was because the clinician I went out of my way to choose out of the dozens and dozens of options was, herself, a clinical psychologist on the spectrum. My diagnostic summary doesn't use the term "eye contact" a single time.
Avoid ABA-based diagnosticians, make sure no one is going to waste your time with the ADOS, request that any standardized testing administered be allowed to be taken in-home (if they don't trust you to do this genuinely, they aren't worth your time), and--regardless of your own individual gender--ask the clinician's opinion on autistic women and what reasons there might be for why they would fall through the cracks, as even if you're not a woman, how they feel about this particular topic is going to be very relevant to how they approach you as an adult claiming that you too fell through the same cracks.
"There is no finding yourself quite like realizing you're autistic"
Absolute truth! It's like being unplugged from the Matrix. A complete paradigm shift. I think my life began when I was diagnosed at 35. Before that I was just existing in a constant state of confusion and dissatisfaction.
Realizing one is trans also has this effect but in my experience to a smaller degree. The realization of autism was like…. Everything just clicked.
@@ReiaTheGeiaYeah, I'm also trans and while figuring out that I'm trans was a big deal, it wasn't until I also realize I'm autistic that the whole paradigm shifted and I finally GOT myself.
@@rrl9786 exactly!
Saddly this didn't happen for me, at first I thought it was right, but even 12 months later I was starting realise something didn't feel right. I do wonder how many others are out there that feel this way as the narrative is that everyone getting a diagnosis loves it, and that its the best thing that ever happened for them - but I think there is a small number of us keeping quiet and not wanting to spoilt the party, but I do wonder the other side of coin should be spoken about too.
Oof seriously. I was finally diagnosed a few years ago and it's been such a journey. I feel like I finally understand myself, other people and the world so much better but there's still a lot that I'm learning. It's been a rollercoaster but all in all, I'm SO glad that I finally got my diagnosis.
The funny in a sad way part is that I actually figured it out myself when I was a child but my parents laughed at me when I suggested it, then they spent years resisting diagnosis. 🤦🏻♂️ My entire life could've been so different if people had only taken me seriously back when they just saw me as a "gifted but difficult and overly sensitive child." It was audhd all along. At least now I know that for sure though. 😅
Oh god the metaphors thing. Never met a single autistic person who took them as literal as neurotypicals usually think we do.
But yeah, you definitely raised some really good points in this video
It is a real thing. I’ve confused a couple of autistic people with my sarcasm and joking before. I made a dark joke to this one young electrician about electrocuting people (dumb joke I know), and he was horrified! He kept saying, “I would never do that!” It was hard to convince him that I was just making a dumb joke and I knew he wouldn’t do that! I felt so bad.
I've literally seen many many comments from people claiming they get confused by this.
5:32 we actually have zero public pathways for adults to get diagnosed here in ireland. i know it's bad in the uk too but here there's literally no options if you're not able to spend at least €1000, and that's really low-balling it. i got diagnosed at 16 in 2019 but the team that assessed me doesn't even exist anymore. there's almost no services here in general, it's terrifying.
i told my mom i think im autistic. she said she would have seen it in me when i was a kid.
the neighbor boy's favorite word for me was "r*t*rd."
i told my grandma i think im autistic. she said theres no way i am, im normal.
my grandma, my mom, my aunt, and even my great grandma all have ADHD.
i tell my dad and step-mom that i think im autistic.
they say were all a little autistic.
i wish someone would just believe me for once.
That’s tough. My mother never believed me either, even after she provided a questionnaire for my diagnosis that gave me a higher “autism score” than I gave myself. She died not believing it. Turns out I didn’t need her to. I have supportive friends & a partner now, & I feel very validated. I hope things get better for you! There is community out there who will believe you 🫂
However little it helps, I believe you. It took until I was 27 to get my autism diagnosis, and I am still struggling to get my ADHD recognised. I’m sorry they don’t believe you, but that is their failing. I hope you can find a community that will accept you.
If it helps, I believe you. Like legitimately. You wouldn't be making this comment if you didn't have a strong reason to believe it yourself and I trust that you understand your internal experiences.
But damn, that is rough, friend. Here's hoping you're able to find the support and validation you need from your loved ones, sooner rather than later ❤
It’s hard for neurodivergent parents to realize their kid is also ND. My parents are ND and were unaware. They didn’t think it was abnormal for me to have blatant meltdowns. They didn’t believe me either… At first. Over time my mom started to believe she has ADHD and autism. She believes me now. I don’t know about my dad.
All that to say, your parents may come around. They are from a very different time so it takes a while for them to catch up. Some parents would be upset if their kid is autistic *not* because they are ableist, but because doctors used to tell parents that an autistic child is a sign of unloving parents (not kidding, that’s what they used to believe).
My school doctor asked about my anxiety and depressive symptoms and asked if we should focus more on that and less on the ADHD, and I was like dude, if we focus less on my ADHD those other two problems will get significantly worse actually.
It's like a scale with multiple trays ... move the little weights wrong and the whole thing collapses.
I am an American nonbinary trans person and I've thought I might be autistic for a while. Even though a diagnosis would likely help me with getting some accommodations for college, I hesitate to get one because of the rhetoric surrounding the combination of being both autistic AND trans. Don't know what it's like there, but here lots of law makers have decided autistic people don't have the capacity to know if they're trans or not and therefore shouldn't have access to gender affirming care. (Though let's be real, they don't want anyone to have access.) It's infuriating that I have to cut myself into pieces to have even a limited amount of autonomy.
I made a whole video about “gender criticals” & autism. I’m so sorry you’re in this position that nobody should be in.
@@Ember_Green Thank you. I will put that video on my watch later.
Obviously I'm not 100% certain on this, but I'd be willing to bet money that the first person to look at either end of the traditional gender binary, shrug their shoulders at both, and think to themselves "Yeah I don't really understand either" was almost certainly on the autism spectrum.
As someone who not only does have a clinical diagnosis but also works with a handful of local clinicians (usually also ND) who are going out of their way to create spaces where older adolescent/adults on the spectrum can interact with each other and learn things about autism outside of stacking blocks and interpretting coloring books, the general consensus about the intersection of autism and identifying as any sort of non-traditional gender is basically "Yeah, no shit they're related."
I'm a cis guy from the South and when I first heard about the disproportionate amount of autistics who openly identified as trans my immediate reaction was "Well yeah, that makes sense."
If you find the right sort of clinician, telling them you're non-binary would (and ought to) be interpretted as evidence in support of your ASD. Yes, even I myself am a bit horrified by some of the laws I see that specifically require autistic people to have extensive psychological evaluations before they can properly receive gender-affirming care, but you're right that this is just another tactic in a long list of strategies used to "cleanse the culture of impurities" by whatever means they can.
Not only is the general autism community welcoming towards trans people (beyond just base tolerance), professionals who actually know what the hell they're doing are as well.
Don't let crazy right-wing reactionaries stop you from pursuing whatever help you may feel like you need. If a clinical diagnosis isn't an option you can or even want to pursue, there might be local support groups in your area, as they are starting to crop up at an exponential rate. If you were to show up to one of these groups and briefly explain your situation, you might get one or two nay-sayers, but I guarantee they will be the ones to receive funny looks of "what the hell is wrong with them?" and not you.
I feel like the ABA lobby has a hand in this. But yeah, I would hold off on a dx.
aren't nonbinary and trans mutually exclusive? 🤔
But yeah, statistically being autistic or trans makes it more likely to be the other too. Good luck finding out/getting diagnosed!
“People noticed, they just didn’t know what they were seeing.” Yes this!
One year in elementary (primary) school I was placed in a special class for “building social skills” because my teacher noticed I was bullied and didn’t have a lot of friends. I don’t think this teacher even knew what the class was for, let alone what I needed, because that class was specifically for kids who struggled to coexist with other kids. So it was mostly me trying to not step into conflict with the other kids who needed a totally different kind of help from me lol.
The examples you gave regarding the questions on the autism assessment tests brought back good memories. My therapist couldn't even score the test, because I couldn't answer most of the questions, but she still ended up immediately diagnosing me with ASD based on the explanations I was giving them as to WHY I couldn't answer them. At some point, every time I'd complain that a question was "simply too ambiguous and I required more information to give a proper answer", she'd simply nod and giggle to herself. She thought my thought process was quite amusing and we both had a good laugh out of those questions.
THAT! THAT! Like I need a whole scenario and at least 5 options to answer each question. They are just way too vague! My brain hurts -_-
I've had this exact issue! I've taken a ton of slf assessments, and I can't stand how the questions are worded! Give me specifics! Give me alternate examples! One that I saw was "would you rather be at a party or library" like the answer is library but maybe a person has two reasons they'd pick library and another has seven reasons. The question doesn't reliably encompass a reasonable amount of possible scenarios and personalities.
It's rather uncanny how similar our childhoods were, and we're of similar age. I really do enjoy hearing your personal stories and perspective! I was, unfortunately, luckier than you and got my diagnosis at 2 years, and by the time I was in my 2nd grade, had a pretty decent and empathetic/supporting child psychologist at school. She predicted I would have a "hard crash" by the time I go to High School -- and I did, with the signs happening in Junior High as the bullying got worse and my hate/suicidal thoughts become more prominent. Early diagnosis or not, it doesn't change your experiences that much, or may even worsen it from the inevitable infantilization. Hell, I didn't really acknowledge my autism until my upbringing at 20. The amount of gatekeeping seems to stem from the amount of ignorance around autism as it often comes from a place of arrogance and lack of empathy.
Yeah. What late diagnosed people often don't get is that just because a diagnosis helped them, it sadly often doesn't help early diagnosed people. It should, in a perfect world, but often it does not get them help, just stigma and an "reason" to treat them badly.
I was diagnosed at 8, and it didn't protect me neither from bullying/abuse nor stigma nor self-hate and only brought me therapy I only have bad memories of; of being made to feel wrong and dumb
Once I graduate college this year I want to get assessed. I'm probably autistic or have ADHD (or both) and have struggled with mental health issues for almost ten years. I still have to run through the pros and cons list of telling people whether or not I have depression and anxiety because I know they'll see me differently. What I almost hate more than the eggshell tiptoeing, is the "Oh I never would have guessed" reaction. As if I'm meant to be incredibly melancholic, darkly monochromatic, and hiding SH scars in order to be mentally ill. Stereotypes like that are why I denied the severity of my problems until things got very serious. I'm doing a lot better now, but it is intensely aggravating to feel like you have to "prove" your mental illness to someone in order for it to be real. Thank you for this.
In our small town, my little sister was definitely different. If she were 7 now and sitting in front of a diagnostician, she'd be an easy day. When she was little, the fear of the label "autistic" was incredibly strong. Also, she wasn't a boy, and she was very verbal. So, no way she was autistic, right? Today, as a 30ish woman, she has spent years seeking a diagnosis. There are resources (not money, but training programs and counseling). When people ask why the label is so important to her, I liken it to knowing your name. Your name labels you, but it's also so much a part of who you are. I hope she can find what she needs soon.
Fun fact: ADHD is pretty stereotypical for autism. Autism has a higher comorbidity rate than most disorders. The most common comorbidities for autism are ADHD, depressive disorders, and sleep disorders.
can confirm as i have all four of them at once 😭
Is there a study for this? I’m really interested cause I have all four as well 🫠
Don't forget about PTSD, particularly for women. The mere audacity of being born on the spectrum and female in the West gives you a likelihood of experiencing an episode of PTSD at some point in your lifetime that is triple of that of US Veterans who have seen combat.
@@cda6590 That sounds absolutely insane
@@faigelable I would have to find a study involving the prevalence rates of comorbidities. I learned about this when I took an autism psychology class in undergrad.
Thank you so much for republishing this video. Your points are both incredibly validating and enlightening!
I very much agree with you re: self-diagnozing. Take me for example: I suspect I have ADHD, but I was born in the 1980s, when ADHD was not a thing in my country (still isn't a thing, it's not included in the medical classification), economy was in the gutter, same with my family, and I'm lucky to be very strong-willed and quick-witted. So I've been white-knuckling through life for decades without any support or medication, just through sheer power of will and physical exercise. Even if I could be diagnosed in my country (which I cannot be), I live in a hugely expensive city, so wasting money on multiple therapists who may or may not help isn't an option. Watching videos of people who share the same experience doesn't necessarily help, but it's still nice and heart-warming to be able to put a name on the thing.
A correction at 46:35:
The RAADS-R test author is Dr. Riva Ariella Ritvo. Those are the authors of the website hosting that version of the test.
Thanks for letting me know! I have cut that part of the video but it might take some time to process the change.
@@Ember_Green I thank you for the great videos!
34:10 I'm very thankful that Norwegians typically don't like speaking to strangers, and most will choose to stand on the bus than sit next to somebody they do not know.
I can recommend a book "Empire of Normaity" by Robert Chapman. It's a bit hard to read but it gives a really thorough analysis of both pathology model and anti-psychatry and seeks that balance.
I was born in 1986, and when I got tested for autism (and other cognitive stuff) by my school system, the specialist they hired said I couldn't be, because my IQ was too high. Even the most Karen of AutismMoms would recognize that as silly these days. There's still such a strong need for adult autism diagnostic services, because plenty slipped through the cracks in childhood, and a LOT more recently than we pretend.
I am unable to get a referral because a referral has to come from a psychotherapist and a psychotherapist is not covered by the public health system. I am too poor to get assessed. I have joined my relevant union however as I have yet to do any work for them, because I lost all my seniority when I migrated in order to be able to access Trans Health Care, it could be several years before i can access any benefits provided by said union. In the meantime I feel like I am getting it from both sides, I have this understanding that helps me to navigate my life, but I cannot access any support external to me which requires a diagnosis. After watching the whole video me back to say you are awesome and inspiring and insightful and we stan.
Thank you for talking about the generalization of "neurotypical". When I hear those statements I often think "how do you know?" and also "this just sounds like Western English-speaking culture, not NT".
Let's try to minimize clear-cut binaries in our language and us-vs-them narratives - humans are much more complicated than that.
This is a brilliant overview that will help many who are exploring their Autistic way of being on their path towards Autistic community, towards improved overall wellbeing. Thank you!🙏🏽
Thank you!
As a neurotypical person, I can confirm I know absolutely nothing, because I have never sought a single piece of information. I study questions the way samurai study the blade, to hone my instrument of harm into its ultimate shape. My Ph. D. might as well be killology /s
In all seriousness though, all this extreme discourse about “did you know neurotypical people do not wipe their bums?” etc. is a big red herring. Some neurodivergent folks have trauma associated with interacting with neurotypical people, and so have justified mistrust of a society that privileges neurotypical people. However, sometimes that trauma takes that justified mistrust and turns it into unjustifiable extreme forms.
It would be really easy for me to get a chip on my shoulder when it comes to neurotypical thinkers. I have always had a distaste for stereotyping though, and I can't see myself doing it now. Autistic people are a minority. If we are ever to gain meaningful accommodations we will need neurotypical allies, and a lot of them. It doesn't help to convince parents of autistic children that we have their family's best interests at heart when we demonize them for their ignorance. And that ignorance is promulgated by groups like Autism Speaks. If we really want to help autistic kids we shouldn't do that.
Just wait for my upcoming video on “aspie supremacy” 👀
Very important, worth a rewatch and a share! Love the collaboration. Sam's channel is also very comfy and informative.
Thank you both for all your hard work! 💚🖤
I've vaguely known that I was autistic for the past 15 years, but your videos have persuaded me to actually seek a diagnosis and all the support and accommodations I can access. I didn't even realize it was something I needed until watching literally all your videos on autism in the past like, two days; I always assumed that I just was autistic and ALSO a terrible person with no willpower. I'm having the whole "'It's ALL autism?' 'Always was.'" moment. Not to get sappy in your comment section but the work you're doing matters; you're carrying the torch, building on the work of those who came before you, and helping more people find communities that they deserve to have a place in
Diagnosis in USA even harder to get and more expensive. And support isn’t easily available to people with visible disabilities. I don’t see myself attempting to get official diagnosis anytime soon…
Your channel has been one that has helped me over the past like 1.5yrs. Everything just clicked when I started looking into autism and living my life s such has made my life infinitely better. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to afford an assessment ($3k+) but part of me just doesnt care anymore either. Anyway, thank you!
01:03:30 Actually, sometimes we don't know whether people find us rude etc. Because this can depend on culture and social norms. I live in the Netherlands, a country with a culture that values forthrightness. And for me, I'm a person that likes to live on the periphery. I hide. I don't stand out. So I don't 'cause offense'. And I'm a language person, which means I love the nuances of language and communication, which makes me extremely sensitive to how I phrase things. And I thus hardly ever cause offense. And even then, the 'offense' was just against some silly, arbitrary social construct. A construct that made it apparently impossible for people to read between the lines and see my innocent intent. Social constructs I haven't ever really cared about since I was little anyway. So I never tried to fit in, and lived on the periphery. See my problem? 🤷♀
Yo Samedy Sam is incredible what a get though this video is incredible. I'm an autism advocate. Even studied it at masters level. You've got everything here. My own misgivings about generalising and more. So much to explore. I'm really suffering with EDS and trying to get a diagnosis. Would love to see you over on mastodon where there's a vibrant AuDHD and ND community. You're amazing. Glad you've found success and love and validation. Truly amazing stuff. At some point when I've got out of this burnout I and got support I would love to collaborate. Anyway that's maybe the gin talking. Self medicating with gin is not ideal but thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for this, as someone who figured out I had ADHD through TikTok (clinically diagnosed twice now) and strongly suspect I am also autistic, it has cooked me seeing how many criticise the adhd awareness spread there which isn't in the DSM as misinformation (some of it is, a lot of it isn't). Yes there is some misinformation (most of it is overwhelmingly benign however) but these same concerned people seem to always fail to consider the very real consequences to people who are neurodivergent living without any understanding of what that actually is. It really does feel like a mixture of anti-neurodivergency stuff and gatekeeping by neurodivergent people who are uncomfortable with a wider range of people being included under the same label as them, imposing their own limited experience or knowledge of the breadth of their own shared condition.
Immediately ordered Yo Samdy's book! I'm about to go visit my mother in law (who is in her own process of figured out her autism) so I'll give her the book as a gift. And then recommend this video!
I'm still flabbergasted on how Lucky I was when I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 8... in a third world country with ignorant views regarding neurodivergency and also being AFAB!
It certainly didn't made my life easier on the long run, and still had to stop education at a very early age due issues, but at least never had to struggle if somehow I've had to realize it later in life and struggle for a diagnosis... my life not knowing it would have fucked me more...
Years ago I got fired in part but explicitly because I was starting to figure out that I’m on the spectrum. I only just realized how fucked up that is.
I'm not even mad that this is a reupload, I just hope it does well this time around. Love love love your work
Absolutely loved it the first time around and this time too. Important stuff so I hope this helps give it a bump.
I'm so happy this is back
I was diagnosed around the age of 10. Generally I don't have any issue with self-diagnosis. I do not agree everyone should stay away from official diagnosis. Some people who self-diagnose though (esp younger teens/20's) seem to either use it as a shield for their behaviors or social transgression, or don't tend to have any that would be considered interruptive to their day to day lives. And that's not a hard line I draw, just a fuzzy one. I don't know everything about people online, but I have had a lot more issues worth talking about than some of these folks. Maybe it's just because I'm further along in my life, I don't know, so I try not to judge harshly. I do take issue with people who seem to use autism as an excuse to act badly though. Yes, some of us have issues, even anger issues. But I've had to apologize, work on myself and grow. So when I see someone use it as an excuse not to grow and learn, that's when it becomes difficult for me, and I feel the need to gatekeep to protect people.
And finally, about people who are 100% against getting diagnosed. Not for utilitarian reasons, but resentment of the systems. I wish they would go and get diagnosed and be the ones to vocalize their concerns LOUDLY. I want people like this to be heard more often, so diagnosis can be more open, and I hope they have access to the same sort of advocacy I had in doing it. It takes a LOT of spoons to be that kind of person, I get it. But if you *can*, please challenge the system! It should NOT be as hard as it is and take as long as it takes. People with autism often give up just because how tiresome it is in many places, and people who need real help; they're slipping through the cracks.
I'm not autistic but I am on the neurodivergent spectrum.
I was diagnosed when I was 18, but before that my childhood was one where I did have trouble and maitaining friendships (it certainly didn't help that we moved around a lot) coming off as weird and quirky as well as info dumping and having meltdowns.
The reason I initially went into therapy was due to anger management issues, but the one therapist I saw did bring up the possibility that maybe I was on the spectrum.
I got referred to a psyche evaluation afterwards and I had an official diagnosis. On one hand I did feel a little disappointed that I was not diagnosed sooner (being a girl and all), but the fact I actually did get a diagnosis it felt...really validating.
I felt like it explained so much and that it felt like there was nothing wrong with me. I'm not broken, I'm just different.
And that's okay.
And hey, I am a little weird, but I'm a lot of other things too. And I do find that people enjoy being around me once they get to know me 😊.
Great video, pretty relatable for me
"I'm not autistic but I am on the neurodivergent spectrum."
Could you explain to me precisely what the difference is for you? Although we are admittedly in a YT comments section, I promise this isn't an antagonistic question. I'm just genuinely curious why you would say you're not autistic and then proceed to list off a bunch of ASD-related symptoms. While I do understand people can be ND without necessarily being autistic, what is it about your situation in particular that puts you in this category?
@@cda6590
Actually I may have made a mistake.
For context my technical diagnosis would be level 1 ASD, but at the time of my evaluation, my diagnosis was Asperger's. This was before the name was changed and reclassified as ASD (for obvious reasons). So by that reasoning I may actually be autistic.
Now that I think about if I were to take another evaluation I probably would be diagnosed as autistic.
Thinking about it more, I think my initial comment might have partly been me internalizing the stigma behind autism.
I'm sorry 😞
@@ThePupYT Hi, Asperger's is a part of the Autism Spectrum, it was always classified as a type of autism as well, so I'm not sure how you got the idea it was not autism?
Basically the old vision of it was "autism" was given to autistic people who could not fit in with society and had intellectual disabilities, and "asperger's" was given to the autistics who could speak and showed intelligence, and were deemed able to function well enough to stay in society.
Hope that clears things up! :)
I love that book so much that I bought five extra to have for any friend who asks me if I think they might be autistic too.
That’s so cool!
"The friends that I did have, the main thing we had in common was being rejected by the rest of the kids" I felt like this growing up but I wasn't bullied I just got the sense that most kids didn't like me. I wasn't invited to parties.
The part about women being gaslit into thinking they aren’t autistic for the most trivial stuff is honestly the reality 99% of the time. My psych ALSO prescribed me antidepressants and you know what happened? It made me violently ill. I took it only twice before having to stop altogether cause it was terrible!!! I felt nauseous but couldnt throw up, i couldnt sleep even with the sleeping meds prescribed to me, i felt like i couldnt breathe! I wanted to go to the hospital cause it was that bad. You know how my psych responded? She was heavily confused and tried to gaslight me and tell me i was “dramatic” or “overreacting” and that what i experienced was “normal”. 🫠 i never spoke to her again.
I was wrongfully diagnosed with bipolar disorder (which i heard was common in undiagnosed autistic women) despite my evidence to the contrary. 😢
Anyone here had similar experiences?
I lived most of my life with undiagnosed autism, and over time I developed methods to deal with the challenges I faced. I realised that I was possibly autistic because my dad had an autistic patient in his clinic and realised his methods of dealing with stuff were similar to mine, so he began to give me suggestions that actually helped a lot. However after years of dealing with stuff I didn't really need a formal legal diagnosis for anything. The only reason I got one was because my country has free healthcare and it wouldn't cost a dime. It did help me feel better about myself and self discovery but my GP's, Parents' and psychiatrist's word is enough for me. It does allow me to ride for free in buses though.
30:26 OH GOD this just unlocked a memory... I once got chewed out and banned by some teenagers on a discord server for not adding a tone indicator after joking about how I "kin" some unpleasant cartoon character that everyone dislikes. Sometimes it feels like neurodivergent online zoomers somehow end up constructing these elaborate sets of inter-community implied unspoken social rules deviating from which leads to ostracization not unlike that which we experience in the offline neurotypical world. It's kind of disheartening really :(
Thank you. Your videos have helped a lot. You are doing life saving work.
I hope to be able to pay it forward as you did.
clicking on this video I didn't expect to learn about myself, but now I'm considering buying that workbook...
Your channel has brought me so much validation in just three days
I had a long write up, but I mostly just wanted say Ive been a fan since your Sia video and I just got my dual AuDHD diagnosis late last year! Thank you for these videos for the past 3 years 💙
17:40 oh damn yeah, its aweful when the tests come back negative. I had one call where the person on the other end cheerfully told me my [insert tested organ here] was absolutely fine. And it just struck me, because that was the opposite of what I wanted to hear. No ill will to the caller, I'm sure to them it felt like good news to be able to tell me that nothings wrong, but to me, I *knew* something was wrong, and all the test represented was a failure for anyone to be able to diagnose and treat the actual issue.
You're like the very yin to my Yang. Almost every detail, every feeling, every memory and damn you're funny. Had to comment midway and grab a drink (I see you clinking) then onto the big screen.
your videos genuinely help me find strength to continue existing
not in a “this saved my life” kind of way, but in the sense that I run into chains of compounding burnouts (I’m an organizer in a party, the local TUC and the local PSC groups).
my neurological state can be difficult but you always remind me to be kinder to myself - it is so invaluable to see my struggles reflected so clearly in you. it really brings me back to earth when I’m reminded that the struggle is necessary but that I need to spend time caring for myself
Yo Samdy Sam's content was pivotal in setting me on my journey to an eventual diagnosis.
I’m glad you posted this!
Thanks for working on/for yourself, it's helpful for us too
Hey I think we got diagnosed by the same place in Dublin! And I too am happy I went for it, I understand myself so much better which means less guild, fewer shutdowns, better mental health.
Wow lol small world ☺️
58:41 - THANK YOU! What even is that question supposed to be about?!??? I _do not_ understand. "Why?"!
I have seen this back in the day and a re-watch will be absolutely worth it! :)
Nobody advocates for autism with intellectual disability. Id like to see these people with in the conversation more.
Great video (again!), Mica! 😊I also am compelled to envision the ridiculous-to-horrible actuality of metaphors in my head (although I tend to add sfx to the raining cats and dogs thing, which makes it somewhat inappropriately hilarious). AAA! -- and picturing the skin on the teeth! YES! Ick . . . and you know you'd be able to just kind of move the skin around with your tongue and feel the teeth there underneath it 🤢. . . 🤮
🤮
Since the NDIS (national disability insurance scheme) was introduced to Australia, access as a disabled person has been more restrictive. Especially for adults. I have a diagnosis. I went through the process, and even with some back and forth was rejected. The frustration of trying to get support is immeasurable.
Hopefully the relaunch gets this the views it deserves. Commenting for the algorithm.
🦓💙🦓💙🦓 I can relate to a lot of what you've shared here, thank you! 💙💙
"Once I knew what to push for". Pertinent.
Why do you want a label.....
For the same reason you've gone to the doctor's because your chest is wheezy, and you've got a bad cough that you've had for a while, flu like symptoms etc. creating a daily struggle in terms of the life and health you want.
Or is it not important to know if you are experiencing pneumonia (the label. In the same way that any other medical issue is also a label). Not important to understand risks (what may worsen it, or have a negative impact), what is beneficial to ease it (what supports you might need such as medication) etc.
Why is that question asked more frequently with specific things, as opposed to other things, when the basic process for medical concerns is always the same.
Suspect there's something wrong, draw a rough conclusion/self diagnose, see medical professional, be given official diagnosis, directed towards other professionals/ supports/ change in lifestyle/ medication etc.
I made personal comments about myself throughout the years, observations and reflections of myself, it's only now that I'm understanding what I was actually noticing.
Worth watching again, I’d say - or for the first time if you haven’t yet! 😊
From my experience, I think you underestimate how many people actually embrace corporate "culture", especially off the internet. Sure, you don't have to be neurodivergent to not care for corporate narratives and how immensely simplistic and alienating they are, but living up to them is always going to be easier for less marginalized groups. While I don't think simply blaming the neurotypicals is accurate, some people are big jerks who rear their ugly heads, often spouting what they commonly hear. I rarely see these people called out even if the ideas they proselytize were clearly not thought about for more than a nanosecond.
ABA is terrible, the long term effect are high traumatic. I can't watch video on ABA without triggering my trauma.
I have Sam's book and it was very helpful in gathering my experiences in a logical way.
I remember hearing Neurotypical people can block out all sounds, and can focus on one sound, someone called Paige something said that, I think she's famous on TikTok for Autistic content.
I feel that makes crossing a road more dangerous if a person CAN block all sounds out, more getting hit by a car , or lorry something.
It's probably better understood as neurotypicals are better at unconsciously filtering background noise out, and determining what is and isn't background noise unconsciously. Vehicle noise when crossing the road isn't background noise. We actually actively teach this to kids, I remember loads of adverts for how to cross the road when I was a kid that make a big deal about intentionally using your ears to listen for cars.
It's not like putting on a pair of headphones where you can only hear what you're focusing on (this actually can be a symptom of ADHD hyperfocus).
I agree with the social contructs points made, just careful not to create and reinforce a new one with a section of society demonised and sidelined and shamed just for being.
It's all I'm hearing day in day out all while suffering along with everyone else, I'm not in charge or have any agency in any matter but am constantly told I'm the ' big bad' F that.
What's more it's a freakn copout and also gaslighting .
The following observation does not apply to all, which is the actual point I want to make, stop stereotyping and throwing exclusive blame to one group, it 's a lie.
I've observed men of all shades are pushed around by cruel and lazy women who demand more and more sacrifice, while they hide behind a projected illusion of innocence.
I love women and consider myself to be a feminist, so sorry, we all have to take responsibility for the past and the future. Grrr P.S. love your show you're great.
If it's of any relief, in Spain psychologists that are applying for Clinical Psychologist Internal Residency (basically, a program that prepares you to work for the Public Health System) don't study ABA to be one of the therapy options for autistic people. I studied it at the university but that's because my teacher didn't update her lectures
1:16:57 - 💗💗💗 - autistic (or any) community in action ... love to see it!!
I love it how you are having a sort of a dialogue with your other-self, and fun alongside. I do it too. Long before I was diagnosed autistic, I invented sort of a mind game to entertain myself and practice conversations. I divided my personality into 4 distinctly varying in traits possessed parts, and they are having conversations sometimes, or one berates the other for doing something stupid, we all agreed not to do etc. Funny thing is that 2 are male, one is women, and one is an animal (my spirit/totem animal - badger), so a non-speaker. What made me do that back then? Nowadays I begin to think I might be so called non-binary, whatever that means.
though I have never dared it in public. but they (the people, the strangers, the in-your-eyes-gazers, the askers-of-intrusive-questions) wouldn't probably pick it up, since they consider what I say most of the time cryptic or nonsense anyway
btw referring to own alterego as my otherself I found in a scifi book I read long time ago, and I forgot the title of ot. Except there they had technology making it possible to give a body to all those otherselves, a clone body, and the duo always behaved strangly, like twins
My sister/captor used the "fact" the mentally disabled People working in the local area is more than enough "proof" that "I" am able to do the same (she used the R word, BTW... this is what I am up against)
No, sis, THEY ARE BEING EXPLOITED. ofc I cannot say this to her, as she reacts violently to anything that counters her worldview. Abusive, one could argue...
I watched this the first time around and it's a shame that it didn't get more engagement then so like, comment for the algorithm and also I'll just let this play in the background of something else I'm watching ;D
All of my life people have pointed out that I am very literal. I wasn't bullied as much in grade school because I was bigger than most of the kids but then I moved to Texas where the kids were bigger. A woman I met recently through my wife's theater spotted me as Autistic. When she had a chance to talk to me she told me she was Autistic in the second sentence she said to me. We hade several hours worth of conversation in about an hour-and-a-half speaking about our special interests. After describing how my thoughts work to my wife she said that it seems like the way people should all think. I don't use TikTok and not for any reason, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I've suspected I was Autistic since 2003 when my cousin suggested it and he is Autistic and diagnosed as such. It's very true that we are easily bullied and not just in the physical sense. Please tell Boba I said hi.
"fine at school" yeah I was academically grand, just casually getting pulled out of primary school some afternoons for ~anger management problems
Book idea: I was recently diagnosed with ADD and would love a workbook that could help with week planning and different information on ADD.
The internet is an amazing thing. I have in fact been watching a video where a person mentioned in passing a diagnosed sleep condition where you don't reset to a 24 hour day every night so your schedule rotates around the clock.... my shocked 'That's a real thing! we just called it being on Martian standard time and assumed we would grow out of it' I didn't, and I don't have an official diagnosis because that specialist doesn't exist here, but now I have a name, grace for myself and tips and tricks for a better way to navigate what's happening. Circadian rhythm sleep disorder FYI. The internet gave me the words for my lived experience.
I heard more often even worse version of "Why are you doing it like that?" - "What is wrong with you?"
That justice hypothesis infers difference in moral compasses people have, but it does not imply that some are better than others. Strong it that context means that autistic stick to their own, not that it's better.
To interpret it as causing autistic people to consider themselves better, is a common error in statistics,, people thiink correlation implies causation. and it is the double empathy problem in my opinion, maybe NT people would consider themselves better if the roles were reversed.
At about the 30 min mark, and seeing such things said on social media really confuses me (as someone who's exploring whether they may have ADHD or autism). It really muddies the waters and it's made me completely at a loss of who to 'trust' when it comes to autism traits or symptoms. All I know is that I've felt 'off', 'different', 'other' my whole life and my long :( list of mental health diagnoses doesn't cover half of what I feel or experience, but at this point (after seeing so many contradictory tweets!) idk what's 'normal' and what's not. I do like this channel -- does anyone have any recommendations for similar autism-focused channels that are *trustworthy*/accurate?
ugh yeah, really relate to how friends are hard to keep, struggle with that a lot myself. even when those friends are ND themselves lol..
Ich bin auch deutsch, und ich hoffe du spricht und verstehst unserer Sprache, falls nicht, kein Problem, dann kann ich es übersetzen, aber unter uns deutschen, also jeder der deutsch spricht 😅 und das beinhaltet auch Österreicher und Schweizer, es ist halt wirklich so dass unsere Kultur ähnlicher zu dem ist, wie Autisten sind, und das hat mir in meinem Leben sehr geholfen, dass ich dann besser masken konnte und weniger als komisch angesehen wurde, als bspw. in Amerika. Und wenn ich mir anhöre, wie strikt die sozialen Regeln in Amerika sind, dann finde ich es entweder total komisch und sau kompliziert, oder ich bin froh, dass es hier nicht so ist. Wir haben eine ziemlich direkte Kultur, das ist mir bei den meisten Deutschen aufgefallen. Und kann auch sein dass es wegen meiner Bubble ist aber wir in der Freundesgruppe kommunizieren idR immer direkt über unsere Bedürfnisse und Gedanken und sagen, was wir sagen wollen, ohne vom Gegenüber zu erwarten, dass sie irgendwie unsere Gedanken lesen. Irgendwie find ichs auch voll unhöflich anzunehmen, dass andere deine Gedanken lesen sollen und dann beleidigt sein wenn die das nicht tun, und dass es in Deutschland tatsächlich nicht so üblich ist. Aber du hast Recht: es gibt andere neurodivergente Behinderungen, die das genaue Gegenteil von Autismus ist, bspw. dass es Borderliner gibt, die dann extremes Splitting erleben, wenn sie nicht das hören, was sie hören wollen, es aber nicht direkt kommunizieren. Deswegen hast du da recht und es ist nicht gut alles in nem Topf zu werfen, weil seelische Behinderungen so unterschiedlich sein können! Und wenn man darüber nachdenkt, sind die wenigsten Leute rein neurotypisch. Zumindest in Deutschland hatte jeder Zweiter mindestens einmal an nh Depression gelitten, und es gibt mehr neurodivergente Menschen als man denken würde, aber das sind nicht alles Autisten, sondern auch Menschen mit anderen Behinderungen. Wie bspw. LRS. Wir hatten eine in der Klasse mit LRS und auf erstem Blick trifft sie auf alle allistischen und neurotypischen Klischés zu weil sie eben kein Autist ist
I think a lot of govs would love for us to be quiet and get back in our box. TikTok and social media has awakened & given us a voice- we’re not going anywhere now 😂
I had very few friends throughout the 13 schools school days that my (I suspect also AuDHD) mum dragged me around to. In hindsight, most of the girls I connected with showed very neurodivergent traits and/or were highly marginalised like me. My best school friend in the last year (yr 9. I couldn't finish school with the lack of support and my pathologies) was a flamboyant super camp boy, highly intelligent and, quite possibly, neurodivergent. I ended up VERY shut down, deeply depressed, near mute and self harming, oh also anorexic. Still, I didn't get my diagnosis until late last year, at 50.
Also, I like to say "SpecDar" it just rolls off the tongue nicely.
I have autistic and AuDHD children, parents, cousins, sisters and a brother, very few of which are diagnosed and yet, nonetheless, they are what they are.
Very few of us have been motivated to spend the 1000's of $ required. I'm still paying mine off.
I needed to watch this. Im one of those people who tends to ignore anything going on on Tiktok as possibly misinformation. But i do have a question in terms of accomodations for neurodivergent people at work, and what can be done?
I spent $1500 and months of my time trying to get a diagnosis just to be told im too intelligent to be autistic
1. I've heard some researchers refer to ASD as a disorder of high intelligence.
2. A pattern of strengths and weaknesses or high across the board isn't indicated with a general, scaled score IQ described as "high", so that would be interesting to know.
3. Autism is a disorder characterized by social difficulties. SOCIAL. Not low intelligence.
I hope you at least got a report that you can refer to?
i think i saw it in december... but already know it's worth watching again
I'm German (Autistic/ADHD) and lived in Ireland for 9 years. I prefer Irish cultural norms to German ones. I think a lot of people just forget that we can have personalities and personal preferences too...
Tbh so do I, I loved living in Ireland
1:00:55 this feels like my experience on every test that has something to do with my own experiences.
On most questionares, if the answers i dont know and it depends were an option, they would probably make up the majority of my answers.
Do other people notice this too? I get the feeling that most others dont put any thought into these, so im not sure if its actually really common.
The testing for POTS should be fairly straightforward and accessible (with a waiting period) in countries with okay health care. It doesn’t require expensive MRI time, but likely does require a cardiologist referral.
I was nearly referred for tilt table testing as a teenager, but instead they did an electrophysiology study via catheter to find my sick sinus syndrome (makes my heart rate drop when it should increase, eg with fear or reaching upwards - kind of the opposite of POTS, now resolved with a pacemaker).
If you think you have POTS, your doctor should be able to get you tested.
lol my doctor is useless but I got a referral from my EDS specialist for this summer
the number of people who have said to me something along the lines of "why do you need a label" is... large. I think a lot of people (in my experience especially gen x and conservative older millennials) view labels as inherently bad or limiting. There seems to be this impression that if a person is allowed to put a label on their differences they will be put into a box from whence they may never escape, and I think that's the case because for them growing up it sort of WAS that way. If you were labeled as those things in their day (or even during my millennial childhood) you often were put into a box that limited peoples expectations of your abilities.
But to me a diagnosis would only offer information. options. a REASON for why x, y and z is harder for me than it is for other people. a way to access other people like me and see how they cope with things. and the oft under appreciated legitimacy to speak confidently about my experiences. I'm pretty damn sure i have autism. My friends who are have told me I am. I have taken about a dozen self tests and i get a positive response every damn time. I relate strongly to content from creators like you.
Alas, i don't have the 5-8 THOUSAND dollars it would cost me to get diagnosed privately, and the public system is so overwhelmed many of the options out there aren't even taking new patients, never mind the 2-5 year waiting list (to be fair, even private wait lists are often 6 months +) or my own difficulties with the medical system (doctors love to tell me there's nothing wrong with me even when there very definitely is, and my executive dysfunction surrounding doctors visits only gets worse every time it happens. for real, I had a doctor brush off my hyperthyroidism as "just too much stomach acid" and another be completely unconcerned with the fact that i had rib fractures with no apparent cause. going to the GP is like willingly submitting myself to being called a liar for 15 minutes and being charged 80 bucks for it.)
Truely a déjà vu, so better write a comment to make the algorithm happy
So, the possibility of me being autistic was first raised to me by someone at a party. I have not sought NHS diagnosis for several reasons. Firstly, I already know I'm autistic, I don't need someone else to tell me that. Secondly, I don't think the services available at the end of the waiting list are worthwhile. Thirdly, I have been on a waiting list for NHS trans healthcare for over 4½ years and don't want any potential to be denied healthcare on that basis.
Edit: also seems to be parallels between autism assessments and gender dysphoria assessments, though trans people are much more likely to lie and present their gender in more stereotypical ways in order to access the lifesaving healthcare that they need.