The Five Languages of Apologies by Gary Chapman complements everything stated from tonight's monologue. The importance of expressing regret by saying you're sorry, making amends by performing restitutions, reforming your behavior in attempt to genuinely repent, taking full responsibility by eliminating that "but" word, and satisfying the ego by asking for forgiveness. Very great show tonight!
I want to give this book to a Scorpio who thinks being smart enough to not need to is a survival skill. In the end shes managed to entirely surround herself with lazy competitive users.
Other than my father, uncles, men of my church, and a few powerful civil rights leaders, I’ve never seen a man stand up so much for Black Men (and all Men). I salute you sir!
@@wattjock no discounting at all, nor implied by my statement. My father was an exemplar of manhood and I learned tremendously from he and other men in my community circle. My “other than” comment established father, uncles, and men of church as primary, and welcomed Kevin’s wisdom as a kindred spirit of like minded men. Also, check the number of likes to my comment and you’ll see that the majority 👇🏾👇🏾understood my sentiment.
My mother told me when I was a teen, “Never be with a woman that can’t admit that she was wrong and can’t say I’m sorry!” My own mother told me that and it has always helped me weed out the bad apples… Thanks Mom!!! 💪🏾
I figured out on my own, not to be around Males that deflect and refuse to admit that they are Wrong. Oh wait, That includes Males and Females. Thanks ME!!!! Even my dogs know when they’re doing wrong. And they show remorse in their ways. Humans are tripping me out, especially this dude Kevin. His attitude is anything but a Paragon of Principles. And Not all Principles are good Principles just as not all $$$ is Good $$$$! Also, You can dress up a Pig, but it’s still a PIG.
I left and divorced my wife(ex now) for this very reason. She hurt me real bad with her childish behavior. Sent the apology thru text. I didn’t respond to it at all that day. Not a word. Next day, i sat her down and told her(face to face) I wanted a divorce. She went out kicking and screaming, finding ways to make me out to be the villain. SMH. I’m glad that chapter is closed. ✌🏾
@Todd Muhammad I got married to my first wife at 21, I have a totally different thinking pattern now. I never had good luck with BW and I went on to marry a Latin woman.
Well done king. Don’t be afraid to explore your options OUTSIDE of BW. Other groups of women are just out there waiting for a handsome BM with his head screwed on straight to claim em. Don’t limit yourself.
In an 8 year marriage, my ex-wife NEVER gave a sincere apology when she was wrong. I would get 2 days of silence and on the 3rd day, it was as if nothing had ever happened. If she messed up bad enough, I would come home from work (after a full day of radio silence) to one of my favorite home cooked meals. Zero acknowledgement, zero accountability, no remorse... I thought I was the only one who went thru this...
Where were your balls the whole 8 years sir? Asking respectfully bc I don't understand how so many men put up with shyt like this and for so long! It pisses me off. I have zero tolerance for lack of respect or appreciation from a female.
With every episode I have come to realize and appreciate my Wife of 20yrs simply because she is NOT a modern Woman… what attracted me the most was the fact that she would sincerely apologize to me beyond the offense and make me feel genuinely happy after. Even today, if I am wrong, she will apologize and look to keep the relationship peaceful…. I never had this before.. EVER. This is why of all the Women I dealt with, I never saw them as worth it and never won me.
Same big fella. I'm young (26m & 25f) and been dating mine for 9 years. Getting married next year and I could never articulate it so well how I knew she was different. Literally one in a million and I'm so glad I held on when shit's been rough. There are great women out here but so few that it's a miserable search.
My husband thanked me after he saw how feminist his friend’s wives were 😂 I was raised to apologize and feel pride in waiting on a man hand and foot. I wish I knew women like your wife to have brunches and gym visits with 😭 you are blessed.
No other race of women say things like " You can't handle a strong woman", " I can do bad all by myself", " I don't need a man", etc. This is a Black female phenomenal...
10 Things Modern Women Can Do To Fix Relationships 1. Stop having babies with men that are not on their purpose, unproductive men without successful futures, E.g Pookies and Ray Rays. 2. Marry before you carry. 3. Restrain from having too many sexual partners, having too many sexual partners causes sexual hyperinflation. 4. Always maintain your femininity regardless of income and education. 5. Focus on finding a husband and starting a family as a top priority in your 20s instead of your 30s. 6. Study your man before sleeping with him. 7. Be supportive of your man as long he is taking action and he is heading in the right direction. 8. Stay fit and exercise regularly, 9. Give a lady like and wholesome image instead of a hyper sexual and pornstar look on your social media channels. 10. Be submissive and non confrontational to men who lead and who are productive.
Bro....if a woman has to follow guidelines such as what you posted above, then she is not of a feminine disposition! Most of the above you'd pass on to your daughter from the age of about 12 not 20-plus!
@@malarki5 Study Study Study, Always have a student mindset regardless of age, income or education!! The moment you stop having a student mentality. That's when you stop progressing!!! Word Up!!!
After 20 years of being with my wife I can honestly say, she just started addressing her attitude and willingness to say I'm sorry...and that is solely because we listen to your show together. It has truly made a difference in our marriage. Thanks Godfather for keeping the boot on their necks..
Yep, 20 years! She's a great woman and the mother of my 2 sons.. she just wasn't raised to know that part...and yes, I wasn't perfect either.. none of us come out the womb knowing how to be a husband or a wife.. that's why this info is so crucial.. and observing the dating scene...smh I got a diamond lol
@@TheDosage-Music They all do this then come back looking sorry as hell when the learn white men dont want them either past a sexual fetish to check off
I would also add that no genuine apologies have “if”. “I’m sorry IF I…” removes accountability and puts the onus on the recipient for being offended. “I’m sorry THAT I” conveys you are aware of your wrongdoings and are asking for forgiveness from the person you acknowledge you wronged.
The "non-apology" which uses the word IF...merely adds the trait "deceptive" to the already ugly trait of "insincere.." NO apology offered at all is actually better than this, because at least a "no apology offered" doesn't insult your intelligence, whilst you're waiting for a resolution. The non-apology which uses creative phrasing in order to merely pretend that a person is offering their contrition is more of a red flag than no apology at all. If a person then angrily doubles down on their insincerely phrased "apology"....(having been called on it)...then you can rest assured they think you're an absolute sucker and are not in the least apologetic whatsoever....
Thank you. Words mean things people! Our education system has truly failed a lot of us because we speak so informally . The distinction between if and that is very significant ergo we should mean what we say and say what we mean as much as possible.
@@donnietobasco9791 Excellent point and beautifully stated. I agree most if not all people would rather the perpetrator own that they’re not sorry than to add insult to injury with a disingenuous apology.
“You can’t HANDLE a strong independent….” We HANDLE things not people. People are far more complexed than things. Instead we WORK with people not HANDLE them.
Like how men say to women “a man will do whatever you allow him” same goes to men. Men, please do not allow a women to treat you less than. There are feminine genuine women out there who will treat you with the upmost respect. Remember, you matter. This was a great episode.
Sis, speak that!!!!! When I offended my husband, I make it right. My love language is gifts and acts of service and I will show him and say, LIKE ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS “I’m so SORRY that I hurt you for…”. That’s how I want him to treat me so why not? Hell, I would want my sons’ women to do it to them so why not exhibit this behavior to them? 🤷🏾♀️
80% of Women need to wake up or they will be single, no family, no legacy, washed up by 2040. The way we are going, it is actually sad to see all these single Women everywhere.
I was holding a grudge with a ex because I caught her texting a dude. Whenever I brought it up after that (because she never said I'm sorry) I swear her answer or her form of Apolgy was always she does not have that phone anymore 🤯..I told her that I will not let it go until she made a genuine apology and her apology was " " I'm sorry IF you felt disrespected" that was enough for her to become my ex
I remember years ago when my mum accused me of stealing her jewellery. I asked her months later whether she found it, and she said she had found it(with no apology to me for accusing me btw). She then asked me not to tell her partner she found it because she had accused him to. You can't make this shit up. This topic defo hit home.
It can also carry over to your own kids having an experience with your mother. My mother accused my kids of many things they didn't do. Come to find out I had siblings that did things years back. She couldn't find it in her to apologize. So, I stood up for my kids. Apologizing isn't that hard. That isn't a good quality to have. It doesn't make you weak as a woman to say it.
Married woman pro tip. In addition to saying you are sorry, write him a letter so that there is no confusion for what you are apologizing for, state the actions and/or thought process that led to the misunderstanding, and state what you are going to change. And then the most important is to actually change the behavior with remorse. And make it up with your actions like cooking his favorite meal, his favorite drink, messages, etc. Depending on the grievance, repeat for the next few days to weeks. And get into habit of having good behavior with him.
The terrible attitude , rudeness, lack of accountability and entitlement is the biggest issue with women in our community. I know women with kids , nothing going for themselves but with a huge ego . Hell, I knew a girl who was diagnosed with an incurable STD who was still rude with a huge ego because she was pretty. Women in our community blame everybody but themselves.
Then maybe you males should start behaving like MEN in the community. How about being honest, faithful, providers, productive & mature & maybe these women you’re complaining about would be submissive & feminine. Women cannot do that with a male who inflicts pain.
After being married for 22 years I am grateful for my traditional wife. She is humble and always says sorry even when i didn't take offense at what she did. Its true the saying "marriage is a union of two forgivers"
Apologizing is essential in any relationship but in marriage is a MUST!! Ladies even if it's hard to admit your wrongs, it is better to humble ourselves and refuse any petty argument destroy the happiness of a family. It goes both ways but as women we have to do better!!! Great Men deserve our respect and love. 💯❤🙌 P.S. I'm married and that's why I plead with other women to say sorry and cater to your men always!!!! Never mind your feelings, we need them as much as they may need us.
Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right? Women today would rather be right, they’d rather be independent and never do anything for the expressed pleasure of a man, never compromise for a man because that admits defeat in some way. Women used to go to college to find a husband, now they go to college to prove they don’t need one, and where that often gets you is an unhappy life. This whole fempowerment narrative is not helping women. Women need men way more than they realize, men only need you for reproduction, women have been given a false sense of security and a great amount of hubris, a little humility goes a long way. Men are forced to humble ourselves and know our role, because if we don’t we get our ass beat or we suffer consequences, women aren’t required to do this and don’t suffer consequences, so sometimes men get treated like door mats. For how much women are touted to have this supernatural empathic ability, they sure do seem to have a hard time empathizing with men.
That's facts! The married women I know, well, most of them, know they have to apologize and "make it up" to their husbands. Now... most of the women I'm referring to have been married for 7-8 years minimum. The single ladies, and women in relationships and that want relationships absolutely have to learn how to take accountability, and sincerely apologize for whatever they've done. Men deserve to receive the same love, honor, and respect in the same way we want it reciprocated. In the 13 years I've been married, I've learned that accountability is huge in keeping things together and on the same page.
So true! My wife and I always, alway, always admit fault and apologise when we get it wrong. It is one of a number of elements that make our relationship the success it has been and will continue up to be. Having said that, not sure how many modern womyn can attain that ideal.
A couple years ago I hurt my husband deeply. Not only did I apologize, but, I prayed over his heart. I said a simple prayer out loud so he could hear me while placing my hand on his heart. The prayer was God, please heal his heart in the place where I broke it. Amen.
I grew up in a single mother household and never learned conflict resolution. I got married at 18. I sucked at apologizing and recognizing my wrongs. He eventually cheated and he divorced me. I was confused for years on what happened to cause the deterioration of our relationship. Now that I listen to more men's point of view I understand what I did wrong and how I've unintentionally hurt him. Im remarried and excited to do everything it takes to keep him satisfied with my performance. Ladies, we may have gotten a crappy parent who didn't care about teaching us anything but it's on us as adults to selfreflect, identify, and fix our errors. We gotta hold each other accountable.
My wife was the first women I ever received a heart felt apology from. Prior to her, any admissions of guilt or acts of contrition were usually non-existent. Especially from the women in my family. If you even got any acknowledgement of wrong-doing it was repackaged with shaming language and affronts to your manhood or guilt for somehow you being the reason she committed the transgression. After a while you just shut down because it goes nowhere and you get tired of being disrespected by your own.
I got mine when misdoings occurred from my now wife. Keith it is a monumental feeling the first time it happened. That let me know she was the real one. She got the public display of intention with a ring of significant caratiture over ten years ago now.
When men are disrespected by other men, 3 things happen. We talk it out and apologize, things get physical or we remain enemies. This is why it feels 10 times worse when the women in your life can't give you a genuine apology. Some know there are no consequences so the bad behavior continues.
Got a little emotional when Kevin said at that we matter. I don't really ever hear it. Not from my family, wife or children. Most of the time it's ungrateful attitudes and only being appreciated in the moment of a transaction.
I rarely have to apologize to my husband because I know my place and respect his authority, leadership and direction for our family. I made all those mistakes in my first marriage. I got it right the second time around. Thank God for second chances and forgiveness. When you know better you do better.
After being married to my wife for 9 years now, the past two she really has let me lead the family and make decisions because she has learned that I have the family's best interest at heart so she follows me, asks me for advice. And after growing up in a house with six sisters and a scorned mother and me being the eldest boy I was pretty much silenced into even thinking like a man before I became one but I knew early that my mother wasn't right, and because I led myself and taught myself how to be a man and learn valuable lessons in life through experiences my mother hasn't spoken to me in 9 years, because she can never really keep a man by her side. So long story short when you put your foot down as a man there are certain women that will avoid you, and it could be your own mother or sisters. So communicate with your wife because she is really the only person that will be there for you and ladies please let the man lead.
I've had to literally drag apologies out of my mom and I'm 22. It takes literally coaching her through HOW TO SAY "SORRY" to get her to do it. I do t let up either and she knows it. It's to the point now (after about a year of grueling agony) that she is beginning to edit herself and catch when she steps out of line. But I still have to tell her from time to time. The work never stops. 😔
@@reese85 Reese you are right! It's not! A lot of women won't consider it average either! This BS on TH-cam will have bro thinking no woman will want him because a bunch a dudes who earn much less are not having dating success and wanna poison everyone else!
Kevin is right about marrying out. You have to be competitive with women of other races. You have to be in better shape and come from a higher socioeconomic class than women the same race as the man you’re with. On top of this, you better not have weave, kids out of wedlock, or family drama. You’re gonna be the one black woman in the pool or in the lake who genuinely LIKES water and can cook, clean, host events, etc. Men of other races are not going to marry overweight and non-competitive or non-traditional women.
I find it kinda funny how women literally can adjust, apologize and humble themselves for friends, work, families but when it comes to you though.. there’s a block
I used to think I was too hard on women until I started watching your show,the truth is that I have never and I will never take bs from any woman until I’m old and gone,I have never tolerated insincere apologies from any woman and I won’t,I have always known in my myself that I am the price and you keep reassuring that.thank you kelvin.
Women don’t apologize. When they are done with a situation, they put the blame on the man, get into a relationship with a new man and move forward with their life.
I remember when I turned 18, I asked my mom why she didn’t stay with my dad (separated when I was 2) she couldn’t answer the question for some reason, even though I thought it was a pretty simple question. Asked my dad and he gave me an answer in 5 minutes, and guess what??? I went to 13 different schools in 6 cities because she didn’t want to stay home and take care of her 2 kids (at the time). Edit: I say 2 “at the time” because I am the oldest of 6 as of now.
bro?? are you me ?? the only difference for me is my mom realized there was no point dating other people when she already has 3 kids with my dad and they got back together after being separated for 10 years
I'm paying for an apartment right now that I don't even live in so that my daughter is stable...... I'm not even with her mother but in order to make sure she's not moving around like spare tires I had to bite bullets.
It’s crazy how this video came up last night and earlier that day…my ex wife apologized sincerely to me…after 13 years of knowing her. That’s never happened. She’s been getting therapy, when I say it hit different…man
Just know she was smashing other men before she said that to you but if you want to get back with her *accept the consequences* that comes with getting back with your ex-wife if you choose to.
To be exact, 6 other men. You made a critical error and assumed I wanted to get back with her. Not in the slightest sir. I have too many options in the big city. I don’t really find her that sexually attractive anymore either. It took me 10 years to get away and I been away for 3. I know full well the consequences. It just felt good to hear her say “I’m sorry”.
This subject hits home for me. My sister lied on our father when we were children and that lie almost distoryed my family. She later admitted to the lie, but if our father went to jail he would have died there. Now that our father has passed away to this day she's never apologized for that lie. It's going on about 28 years and she's not sorry for it and I can't forget or forgive her.
When I was a child, almost everytime we'd drive a cemetery...my great-grandmother would say, "there's at least one man out there in a grave due to some woman's lies." She said this repeatedly for a reason...I listened.
When I was a younger adult, I got into it with my gf at the time. I talked to my mom about it, and she basically told me "women will start shit, just to see emotion/passion come out of you just to show that you care" and I took that advice, and I applied it, and she was right. But one day, I asked my gf, "why do you want to start arguements with me if YOU KNOW I dont like to argue? And why do I need to argue with you, just for you to see that I care? Is what I do not enough?" She went silent.
'We stopped being 3/5th of a person a long time ago" This hits REALLY HARD because of the painful acknowledgement that in the black community BW routinely disregard, dismiss and disrespect our very personhood. The world already devalues BM everyday, its soul crushing that that same attitude is upheld by the ones we love.
@@jbb8261 We dont have a culture..our culture was destroyed...Thats why they call us black and negro...because we are the victims of european culture religion and rule...We have to start from scratch...although many of todays technologies came from our ideas...Slaves and or indigenous people ideas were not protected under any patent law...only whites...
@@jbb8261 try not to get our recent history and our enemies culture confused with our current condition in society...We built this economy yet we see non of the benefits...New immigrants have more opportunities than we do today...Something to think about...Why blame each other...?
EVERYTHING discussed is factual. So many brothers have swallowed their pride and acted as if they were actually wrong to make women comfortable. This isn’t just in romantic situations. the generation i’m in, at 40y/o, we we’re literally raised to think women were automatically correct. It led to a lot of this mess we’re dealing with now. You’re not crazy fellas.
I was NEVER told that the woman is always right! And if I was, I didn’t hear it! So it didn’t apply to me. I never had an issue telling a female, she made me feel away
@@reese85 thats good...you see thats a problem that many men have...Its not good to argue back and fourth with women just take the right action like a mature man...You cant out argue a woman...People dont listen well on that frequency to say the least.....
@@reese85 thats good...you see thats a problem that many men have...Its not good to argue back and fourth with women just take the right action like a mature man...You cant out argue a woman...People dont listen well on that frequency to say the least.....
Apologies aren't enough ladies. I'm sorry ain't shit if you're not specific & own up to what you did. Changed behavior and helping him heal from what you did is mandatory.
Ecclesiastes 7:26-28 Proverbs 5, 11:22, 14:1, 21:9, 21:19 and 31:3 Isaiah 3:16-26 Micah 7:10 Revelation 2:20-23 These scriptures are proof of God Almighty frowning at the none virtuous women in this world 🌎🌍
That transactional aspect of relationships is something that is often very very misunderstood. Deposit and withdrawals , such a great way to break it down. Listening to your analogies, I’m always taking notes and expanding my perspective! TY
Women don’t apologize…they just remind you of stuff you did (that you actually apologized for) to justify what they did. If you meet a woman that can’t say sorry when you communicate how you feel about her wrong doing….just leave her. Test a new woman with this, if she fails, that’s the only red flag you need. That relationship will be hell if you proceed. It tells you that she is arrogant, prideful, unscrupulous, and doesn’t genuinely care about you. EXIT
Men, we just have to start breaking up more quickly with women. If a woman says “I’ve already apologized what more do you want?” Just drop her. Because that’s already not operating in good faith, you can’t have an honest conversation with that. All you can do is recognize the disrespect and leave her. Then maybe she’ll think twice before doing that with the next man. And even if she doesn’t learn from that, at least you have rid your life of toxicity and gained peace of mind. Do not tolerate disrespect even slightly. And don’t even get mad at her when she says that, just remain calm, and just say “thanks, we had a good time, I think the good times are over though so good bye mam 🤗”.
I swear the worst is when they hold grudges or incidents for a long time and won't let it go. I don't think I ever seen a woman apologize for me that way
KS is so right about how dating outside of your race can be life changing. Secondly the best apology is changed behavior. Ladies don't just say it, DO IT.
Mans apology- I'm sorry and I take responsibility for what I've done. Woman's apology- I'm sorry BUT, I think you took it that way. I'm sorry BUT, I did that because I "FEEL" like..... I'm sorry BUT, you did this so I did that....
As a Blachelor, with many female relatives & who only date Black women, I can without a doubt say, this is the primary reason why many of mines didn't last or came back together or even female friends and relatives. I have yet to meet any who is willing to sincerely apologize. As a matter of fact, some will be upset that they are wrong and sabotage the relationship. Saying they are "sorry" is too much like "submissions". 🙄
I’m not perfect. I’m a disabled veteran with a lot of physical and mental issues. I see a psychologist every Monday and a psychiatrist every 6 weeks. One of the issues that we’re tackling in therapy is the fact that I shouldn’t have to always preface that “I’m not perfect” to explain how someone wronged me. But that’s what life was like with a woman who, after 21 years, openly admitted in counseling that she’s only been wrong “three times in my life and two of them was as a teenager”. How do you compete with that? I remember asking the therapist to take 20+ years of problems between two people, big and small, and then recognize that one of them is “never wrong”. I remember him specifically asking her: “If there are 2000 issues between them, how many are you wrong”? Her: Honestly, I don’t ever see myself as wrong when there are conflicts. In 2003, halfway through my first year in the Army, I absolutely EXPLODED on her for her lack of effort, excuses, and not living up to her promises. She said, "I'm sorry". I said, "you damn right you're sorry. You're always sorry. That's all you know. You never try". When we would talk about this moment for YEARS, she never once brought up **WHY** it was that I was mad. I was mad because before we got married, she made a ton of unsolicited promises to me. Once we got married, she realized that her promises were "too hard" and that I was •MY• responsibility to recognize that her promises were too hard for her to do and (without ever talking), I should have immediately moved on from her promises like she never said them. Again.....without ever talking, I should have "realized" this. There was no resolution to that comment or conversation. But that blow up accorded a mere 9 months into a 20 year marriage. We were both 23yo. From that day forward, she believed a few things: -What happened in the "past" was applicable to me for life. It gave her a LIFETIME excuse to do, feel or say whatever. Simply because I was a stressed out soldier on his way to Iraq and she refused to help me. She was now ineligible for saying "I'm Sorry" for the rest of her life because I got mad once. -Despite the fact that we were born a mere two DAYS apart, only she was eligible for making "young" mistakes......(sigh).....yeah, I know. Me: You put your mom, the church, and random ass people before me. I’m always 4th or 5th option in your life. Her: You wouldn’t understand. She consistently made and then purposely failed to keep promises, but said that it was my “responsibility” to keep promises regardless of if she did or not. She said that it was my job to wait on her to be “ready” to change, even if it took 20 years. When we finally broke up and I learned all of her “secrets”, (including mistreatment of our kids), she felt like she “deserved” 65% of what I made for at least 5 years, due to the vast “academic disparity gap” between us. Her: “You have two doctorates and the ability to make all this money. Me: And I tore up my body, almost lost my life in the military and had a heart attack at 39. Her: You still have more than me. Me: I suffered for this family. I averaged 4 hours of sleep for 6 years and worked up to 3 part time jobs between classes and rotations. Her: No one told you to join the Army. No one told you to love your family too much. You should have went to school for yourself, not to take care of us. Me: The greatest form of protest is to NOT spend money. Money has been available for 3.5 years. I can go through the account and show you where you wasted THOUSANDS of dollars instead of going to school. Her: I wasn’t ready to go yet. Me: So why are you so upset. Her: Because you still have more than me. When people look at you, they’re impressed with all of your accomplishments. When they look at me, they look at me like I’m dumb. Me: Then why spend all this money if you hate what I’ve become? Her. (Silence)
@@janelleg597 I’m considering it. My psych team wants me to get right first. It’s been a struggle. I just discovered what the term “gaslighting” meant in 2020. It’s hard learning that you don’t have to feel guilty for standing up for yourself and/or having boundaries. I feel like the Holy Bible was used against me as well. It was my “job” to focus on who she was and not what she did….no matter how many times she did it. If I owned a mistake, we had a problem because I was trying to show her up. Even blamed cheating on me as my fault. Despite losing my squad in a roadside bomb in downtown Baghdad my last week in the Army and being medically discharged extremely early, I had the weight of the world on my shoulder. 15 years later, she (FINALLY) said that she realized the at I had a hard time….but. Her: “I know you lost your friends and would have died on that mission. I know that you had 3 small kids that you couldn’t care for. But it was impossible for me to remember to take a pill. So even though the odds were against you and you had to handle all of this alone, I still wanted more children and you took that away from me” Me: So after being together for over 4 years and married for over two, the FIRST time we have a major argument, you start screwing the whole city after telling me “Army wives don’t have sex”?? Her: You were talking mean to me!! Me: I asked you for help and you said no! I went 8 days without real food and 13 days overall. I asked my ‘wife’ for help because I was starving and had to choose between gas money and food. You can’t go 8 hours without food! So you expect me to be happy-go-lucky after going 13? What if I wasn’t a trained soldier?? Her: I know you lost a lot of weight and stole candy at work….but you could have been nicer. Me: So your response to being angry with me about getting fixed at 25yo is to have random, unprotected sex with dudes in your Black book? Your secrets have secrets and you’re mad at me for getting mad. Why can’t I get mad? Why am I not allowed to starve or be cold or hungry? Her: No one told you to stay….
@@kimmzy103 I’ve only summarized my life. If you read closer (at the beginning), I am getting help. I also do have a plan. I’m simply replying my life experiences on a public forum, just like you and everyone else is. Furthermore, I think that you’re missing the point of my experiences. In the book that’s being written, everything starts and ends with mental health. It’s deeper than the individual actions. You can repent and say it sorry for individual actions. That was not the case in my life. In my story, I was made out to be crazy. I’ve been separated for 2 years and the divorce proceedings are about to start. So yes, I have a plan. But my past relationship with that woman has scarred me. She was a class-A manipulator who even surprised our church counselors in the end. She surprised everyone. She knew what I wanted and needed in life; a family. I didn’t grow up like most folks did. So the idea of a family was my #1 passion. She was technically abusing the kids too. That was the straw for me. I travel a lot in Infectious Disease, once my oldest two got near college age. We didn’t want them to suffer. But right before we broke up, I discovered that she hadn’t taught our children in over 3 years (we homeschooled)….but prevented me from working with them while I at home or on the road. In the end, she said that it didn’t “bother” her that they are undereducated or that my son has a fraudulent high school diploma. So 2 of my 3 kids are uneducated. That’s not a sob story, that’s real. Since we’ve split, they’ve gained a ton of weight since she’s “unbothered” by their appearance. I’m still affected by this. My kids know that a plane ticket is always available, but they’re too hooked to take it. So it’s not just my life that she’s damaged. The more I learn in these proceedings, the more I learn how sociopathic she is. Like I led, I’m seeing a psychologist every Monday and a Psychiatrist every 6 weeks and sometimes sooner. They’ve even unearthed medical records from my service time, that indicated issues with her early in the marriage. Once this is painfully over, I still have work to do. Thankful, my youngest just turned 18. But they’re still self-taught all the way through high school. They have no skills because EVERYTHING I attempted with them was shot down and met with disdain. Where I was completely wrong in the marriage is that I allowed my wife to sabotage our children’s future, in the name of power and control…..and I’ll have to answer to God for that.
He is absolutely correct. Non-black women know how to apologize. Not only do they say “I’m sorry” multiple times, sometimes with tears but they blitz you with hugs and kisses right afterwards and I’m talking to the point where you have to playfully fight them off and some of them actually ask if you’re hungry and want to cook something for you and this is for minor infractions.
@@everyonedeservestogohome2949 Not sure how you missed my guy's message here, but you attacked a point he didn't make. You should be embarrassed and sign off.
Growing up my mother was in the streets heavy, had me living in the most dangerous neighborhoods, in and out of abusive relationships, staying nights in shelters, foster home while she was drug programs. No after school sports or programs for me she couldn’t afford that. Xmas was always wack and now I’m in my 40’s and she’s just apologizing lol and that’s after me expressing all the trauma she took my through. I’m grateful she’s cleaned her life up and been clean from drugs for many years now.
My best friend I talked one day about approaches to relationships and she stated her past relationships before her husband failed because she saw those men as "just my boyfriend". She didn't start getting better results until she checked herself and started thinking "would I do ____ to a friend? Then I shouldn't do it to my man." This also includes giving sincere apologies.
Holy Jesus! This was such a refreshing topic and breath of fresh air! Finally, a voice that resounds unspoken, painful truths. It was not until too long ago I sat down and had to look up the word "insanity". I remember telling someone that "I have many flaws like everyone else and will never claim to be perfect or act like my s**** don't stink. But, your greatest flaw is believing you're unflawed." That is just mental torture. Everything Kevin said I have experienced and seen many good male friends go through. This really needs to be in every Alexa device for all couples at home. This is hardcore therapy for both parties and is such a well needed and salient conversation.
in my experience most women in general have a problem saying ‘i’m sorry’. type of thing where i think it’s all ego and pride. even to the point where they could risk losing everything over trying to be right.
Im on 10min into the monologue and he is already teaching and speaking facts. My wife watch ks also and she apologized for something and I was so shocked. I sat up quick to make sure I'm hearing it right. So thanks KS.
This show was a real gut check for me. The "I'm sorry you felt that way but that wasn't my intention " apology is me... I've been giving BS apologies and I am sorry.
@Kush Hazard Why. It's not like I was a horrible person. I just didn't know how men felt and my exes accept that as an apology since I did invest my time and money even though the words were subpar. But now that I know better I can do better. It's all a learning process
Loved this! And sincere "I'm sorry" are appreciated in all relationships. If someone tells me "I apologize" or just says "ok, I'm sorry" as a starement, i don't buy the BS either. Its like handing someone a dead fish in the hand. It means nothing. Lately it seems like thst is what people will tell you. I have no poblem confessing my sins when i commit them.
Godfather you hit the nail on the head, my wife heard all the accurate things you were saying and got a attitude! We as men been dealing with this and I'm freaking tired of it
This sort of garbage is modern legalistic nonsense. It is literally for legal cases where you want to offer sympathy without admitting culpability. “I’m sorry you were injured” when you run someone over. “I am sorry that happened to you” instead of admitting you knew the SVP has been molesting women who work for him for the past 20 years. It is NOT for use in caring relationships.
Fantastic show!!! Here's a Real True Story- my job send me to many places to repair machines . One day I was in JFK Airport fixing a machine so when I finished the bartender in the American airlines lounge reminded me of an additional issue with another machine. I got so upset because not only did I consult her before starting my work she never told me the other issue which would require me to leave the airport go back to my truck and get the part. Anyway when I return to the lounge after passing through airport security the bartender who is from Bangladesh immediately said " I'M SORRY" . This blew me away because I have almost never in my 55 years heard a woman say these exact words. Maybe because she was from a different part of the world that made the DIFFERENCE .
The Five Languages of Apologies by Gary Chapman complements everything stated from tonight's monologue. The importance of expressing regret by saying you're sorry, making amends by performing restitutions, reforming your behavior in attempt to genuinely repent, taking full responsibility by eliminating that "but" word, and satisfying the ego by asking for forgiveness. Very great show tonight!
Thanks.
Epic quote!💯
I love this french toast show!!!!!
🔥🔥🔥
I want to give this book to a Scorpio who thinks being smart enough to not need to is a survival skill. In the end shes managed to entirely surround herself with lazy competitive users.
Other than my father, uncles, men of my church, and a few powerful civil rights leaders, I’ve never seen a man stand up so much for Black Men (and all Men). I salute you sir!
Don’t discount your Father, Uncles, Men of your Church et. al...
@@wattjock no discounting at all, nor implied by my statement. My father was an exemplar of manhood and I learned tremendously from he and other men in my community circle. My “other than” comment established father, uncles, and men of church as primary, and welcomed Kevin’s wisdom as a kindred spirit of like minded men.
Also, check the number of likes to my comment and you’ll see that the majority 👇🏾👇🏾understood my sentiment.
The Lead Attorney stand up for black men about 2 weeks ago with the Da Baby situation
💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾💗💗
He's standing up and winning. Won't be surprised if a woman assassinate him. Lol
My mother told me when I was a teen, “Never be with a woman that can’t admit that she was wrong and can’t say I’m sorry!”
My own mother told me that and it has always helped me weed out the bad apples… Thanks Mom!!! 💪🏾
I figured out on my own, not to be around Males that deflect and refuse to admit that they are Wrong.
Oh wait, That includes Males and Females. Thanks ME!!!!
Even my dogs know when they’re doing wrong. And they show remorse in their ways. Humans are tripping me out, especially this dude Kevin. His attitude is anything but a Paragon of Principles. And Not all Principles are good Principles just as not all $$$ is Good $$$$!
Also, You can dress up a Pig, but it’s still a PIG.
EXACTLY CORRECT!!!!!
She was right. And I encourage men not to accept half apologies that are empty.
Shout out to my pops that's the exact woman he married like a fool
I told my wife that she needs to watch KS, she started bashing him. Moral of story, I am looking for her replacement...💯💯💯💯💥💢💥
I left and divorced my wife(ex now) for this very reason. She hurt me real bad with her childish behavior. Sent the apology thru text. I didn’t respond to it at all that day. Not a word. Next day, i sat her down and told her(face to face) I wanted a divorce. She went out kicking and screaming, finding ways to make me out to be the villain. SMH. I’m glad that chapter is closed. ✌🏾
Great job King....fuq these garden tools and their manipulation bs
Similar happend to me. Sorry was always through a BS text.
@Todd Muhammad Absolutely bro. That’s the main lesson I learned from that situation. 💯
@Todd Muhammad I got married to my first wife at 21, I have a totally different thinking pattern now. I never had good luck with BW and I went on to marry a Latin woman.
Well done king. Don’t be afraid to explore your options OUTSIDE of BW. Other groups of women are just out there waiting for a handsome BM with his head screwed on straight to claim em. Don’t limit yourself.
In an 8 year marriage, my ex-wife NEVER gave a sincere apology when she was wrong. I would get 2 days of silence and on the 3rd day, it was as if nothing had ever happened.
If she messed up bad enough, I would come home from work (after a full day of radio silence) to one of my favorite home cooked meals.
Zero acknowledgement, zero accountability, no remorse...
I thought I was the only one who went thru this...
Preaching
No there are alooooot of women who do this , haughty spirit
Nah man. I struggled with both the mothers of my children. This show hits close to home.
thats a pretty COMMON thing... SMH
Where were your balls the whole 8 years sir? Asking respectfully bc I don't understand how so many men put up with shyt like this and for so long! It pisses me off. I have zero tolerance for lack of respect or appreciation from a female.
With every episode I have come to realize and appreciate my Wife of 20yrs simply because she is NOT a modern Woman… what attracted me the most was the fact that she would sincerely apologize to me beyond the offense and make me feel genuinely happy after. Even today, if I am wrong, she will apologize and look to keep the relationship peaceful…. I never had this before.. EVER. This is why of all the Women I dealt with, I never saw them as worth it and never won me.
I second this. My wife is awesome. Every episode makes me come to appreciate how lucky i truly am
Wow!!!☝️
Right?! I tell my woman this all the time! "I am so damn grateful I have you" is pretty much my mantra to her after any KS episode.
Same big fella. I'm young (26m & 25f) and been dating mine for 9 years. Getting married next year and I could never articulate it so well how I knew she was different. Literally one in a million and I'm so glad I held on when shit's been rough. There are great women out here but so few that it's a miserable search.
My husband thanked me after he saw how feminist his friend’s wives were 😂
I was raised to apologize and feel pride in waiting on a man hand and foot. I wish I knew women like your wife to have brunches and gym visits with 😭 you are blessed.
No other race of women say things like " You can't handle a strong woman", " I can do bad all by myself", " I don't need a man", etc.
This is a Black female phenomenal...
"Sex especially is not an apology especially when she is giving it away free to others outside of the relationship." G. Wilson-Mendes
10 Things Modern Women Can Do To Fix Relationships
1. Stop having babies with men that are not on their purpose, unproductive men without successful futures, E.g Pookies and Ray Rays.
2. Marry before you carry.
3. Restrain from having too many sexual partners, having too many sexual partners causes sexual hyperinflation.
4. Always maintain your femininity regardless of income and education.
5. Focus on finding a husband and starting a family as a top priority in your 20s instead of your 30s.
6. Study your man before sleeping with him.
7. Be supportive of your man as long he is taking action and he is heading in the right direction.
8. Stay fit and exercise regularly,
9. Give a lady like and wholesome image instead of a hyper sexual and pornstar look on your social media channels.
10. Be submissive and non confrontational to men who lead and who are productive.
In short: have some basic effing sense.
Bro....if a woman has to follow guidelines
such as what you posted above, then she
is not of a feminine disposition!
Most of the above you'd pass on to your
daughter from the age of about 12 not
20-plus!
@@malarki5 okay
I hit thumbs up before I even read the list
@@malarki5 Study Study Study, Always have a student mindset regardless of age, income or education!! The moment you stop having a student mentality. That's when you stop progressing!!! Word Up!!!
After 20 years of being with my wife I can honestly say, she just started addressing her attitude and willingness to say I'm sorry...and that is solely because we listen to your show together. It has truly made a difference in our marriage. Thanks Godfather for keeping the boot on their necks..
Dude congrats but dang his did you last that long with someone who didn't want to address attitude + willingness to say sorry, you persevered
Congrats of putting up with that for 20 years.
20 YEARS !!😨😩
You put up with that for 20 years??? I'm sure you had a mistress. That's terrible man.
Yep, 20 years! She's a great woman and the mother of my 2 sons.. she just wasn't raised to know that part...and yes, I wasn't perfect either.. none of us come out the womb knowing how to be a husband or a wife.. that's why this info is so crucial.. and observing the dating scene...smh I got a diamond lol
CHAPTERS
00:00 Lobby Music
18:24 Show Begins
18:53 Candle & Fragrance Of The Evening
22:47 Monologue Part 1
30:20 Get The French Toast Likes Up!
31:56 Monologue Part 2
1:09:03 1st Caller
1:11:19 2nd Caller
1:21:58 3rd Caller
1:28:57 4th Caller
1:32:15 5th Caller
1:35:11 Monologue Part 3
1:44:43 6th Caller
1:48:30 7th Caller
1:53:34 8th Caller (1st Man)
1:59:18 9th Caller
2:03:41 10th Caller
2:06:32 11th Caller
2:07:07 Nita the Biznitch Gets Dragged
2:10:56 Back To 11th Caller
2:11:48 Closing Remarks
2:17:11 End Music
I knew the moment caller #2 started that she was for other men because she COULDN'T get a black man to begin with.
MVP, thanks
Melkor mvp 🤜🏾🤛🏾💯🔥🔥
@@TheDosage-Music They all do this then come back looking sorry as hell when the learn white men dont want them either past a sexual fetish to check off
You my friend are engaging in the lords work!
I would also add that no genuine apologies have “if”. “I’m sorry IF I…” removes accountability and puts the onus on the recipient for being offended. “I’m sorry THAT I” conveys you are aware of your wrongdoings and are asking for forgiveness from the person you acknowledge you wronged.
My ex wife would always do that! Couldn't get a sincere apology from her if her life depended on it.
The "non-apology" which uses the word IF...merely adds the trait "deceptive" to the already ugly trait of "insincere.."
NO apology offered at all is actually better than this, because at least a "no apology offered" doesn't insult your intelligence, whilst you're waiting for a resolution. The non-apology which uses creative phrasing in order to merely pretend that a person is offering their contrition is more of a red flag than no apology at all.
If a person then angrily doubles down on their insincerely phrased "apology"....(having been called on it)...then you can rest assured they think you're an absolute sucker and are not in the least apologetic whatsoever....
Thank you. Words mean things people! Our education system has truly failed a lot of us because we speak so informally . The distinction between if and that is very significant ergo we should mean what we say and say what we mean as much as possible.
@@boondockpaint ex for a reason! 😆
@@donnietobasco9791 Excellent point and beautifully stated. I agree most if not all people would rather the perpetrator own that they’re not sorry than to add insult to injury with a disingenuous apology.
“You can’t HANDLE a strong independent….”
We HANDLE things not people. People are far more complexed than things. Instead we WORK with people not HANDLE them.
The bible verse of toxic females everywhere. Men shouldn’t have to “handle” their woman when they can find one who is sane to communicate with.
This was the best response I’ve ever heard.
@@jbb8261 Men want mute slaves who follow what they say, but they don't wanna listen what their wives want.
Man this was one of his best ones!!!! He said that ish with his chest!!! His work did not go unseen
Like how men say to women “a man will do whatever you allow him” same goes to men. Men, please do not allow a women to treat you less than. There are feminine genuine women out there who will treat you with the upmost respect. Remember, you matter. This was a great episode.
What island do they live on
I have one!
I have one. Granted, we're both white but my mother would have NEVER said "I'm sorry" to my father or her husband.
Sis, speak that!!!!! When I offended my husband, I make it right. My love language is gifts and acts of service and I will show him and say, LIKE ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS “I’m so SORRY that I hurt you for…”. That’s how I want him to treat me so why not? Hell, I would want my sons’ women to do it to them so why not exhibit this behavior to them? 🤷🏾♀️
80% of Women need to wake up or they will be single, no family, no legacy, washed up by 2040. The way we are going, it is actually sad to see all these single Women everywhere.
This man was brilliant! 👏 Your legacy will live on forever! RIP Godfather 🙏🏽 His interlactual intelligence was exceptional!
I was holding a grudge with a ex because I caught her texting a dude. Whenever I brought it up after that (because she never said I'm sorry) I swear her answer or her form of Apolgy was always she does not have that phone anymore 🤯..I told her that I will not let it go until she made a genuine apology and her apology was " " I'm sorry IF you felt disrespected" that was enough for her to become my ex
Good on you. 👍
your mistake was not telling her ass to leave as soon as you found out lol
If she has an active social media handle after marriage 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Wow!!!! Bet she kicking herself now
I remember years ago when my mum accused me of stealing her jewellery. I asked her months later whether she found it, and she said she had found it(with no apology to me for accusing me btw). She then asked me not to tell her partner she found it because she had accused him to. You can't make this shit up. This topic defo hit home.
deep
That's absolutely insane.
You tripping! I would’ve def told my mom how I felt and that she needed to make it up to me with a video game or something
Are you serious? That's F'd up.
It can also carry over to your own kids having an experience with your mother. My mother accused my kids of many things they didn't do. Come to find out I had siblings that did things years back. She couldn't find it in her to apologize. So, I stood up for my kids. Apologizing isn't that hard. That isn't a good quality to have. It doesn't make you weak as a woman to say it.
Married woman pro tip. In addition to saying you are sorry, write him a letter so that there is no confusion for what you are apologizing for, state the actions and/or thought process that led to the misunderstanding, and state what you are going to change. And then the most important is to actually change the behavior with remorse. And make it up with your actions like cooking his favorite meal, his favorite drink, messages, etc. Depending on the grievance, repeat for the next few days to weeks. And get into habit of having good behavior with him.
The terrible attitude , rudeness, lack of accountability and entitlement is the biggest issue with women in our community. I know women with kids , nothing going for themselves but with a huge ego . Hell, I knew a girl who was diagnosed with an incurable STD who was still rude with a huge ego because she was pretty. Women in our community blame everybody but themselves.
EXACTLY
This. Right. Here. 👍🏾
^^^^THAT
Then maybe you males should start behaving like MEN in the community. How about being honest, faithful, providers, productive & mature & maybe these women you’re complaining about would be submissive & feminine. Women cannot do that with a male who inflicts pain.
@@amerokeewiya1320 You didn’t read your reply did you? You have to to know how crazy your statement sounds. You attract what you are…
After being married for 22 years I am grateful for my traditional wife. She is humble and always says sorry even when i didn't take offense at what she did. Its true the saying "marriage is a union of two forgivers"
Apologizing is essential in any relationship but in marriage is a MUST!! Ladies even if it's hard to admit your wrongs, it is better to humble ourselves and refuse any petty argument destroy the happiness of a family. It goes both ways but as women we have to do better!!! Great Men deserve our respect and love. 💯❤🙌
P.S. I'm married and that's why I plead with other women to say sorry and cater to your men always!!!! Never mind your feelings, we need them as much as they may need us.
Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right? Women today would rather be right, they’d rather be independent and never do anything for the expressed pleasure of a man, never compromise for a man because that admits defeat in some way. Women used to go to college to find a husband, now they go to college to prove they don’t need one, and where that often gets you is an unhappy life. This whole fempowerment narrative is not helping women. Women need men way more than they realize, men only need you for reproduction, women have been given a false sense of security and a great amount of hubris, a little humility goes a long way. Men are forced to humble ourselves and know our role, because if we don’t we get our ass beat or we suffer consequences, women aren’t required to do this and don’t suffer consequences, so sometimes men get treated like door mats. For how much women are touted to have this supernatural empathic ability, they sure do seem to have a hard time empathizing with men.
That's facts! The married women I know, well, most of them, know they have to apologize and "make it up" to their husbands. Now... most of the women I'm referring to have been married for 7-8 years minimum. The single ladies, and women in relationships and that want relationships absolutely have to learn how to take accountability, and sincerely apologize for whatever they've done. Men deserve to receive the same love, honor, and respect in the same way we want it reciprocated. In the 13 years I've been married, I've learned that accountability is huge in keeping things together and on the same page.
So true! My wife and I always, alway, always admit fault and apologise when we get it wrong. It is one of a number of elements that make our relationship the success it has been and will continue up to be. Having said that, not sure how many modern womyn can attain that ideal.
A couple years ago I hurt my husband deeply. Not only did I apologize, but, I prayed over his heart. I said a simple prayer out loud so he could hear me while placing my hand on his heart. The prayer was God, please heal his heart in the place where I broke it. Amen.
I grew up in a single mother household and never learned conflict resolution. I got married at 18. I sucked at apologizing and recognizing my wrongs. He eventually cheated and he divorced me. I was confused for years on what happened to cause the deterioration of our relationship. Now that I listen to more men's point of view I understand what I did wrong and how I've unintentionally hurt him. Im remarried and excited to do everything it takes to keep him satisfied with my performance. Ladies, we may have gotten a crappy parent who didn't care about teaching us anything but it's on us as adults to selfreflect, identify, and fix our errors. We gotta hold each other accountable.
My wife was the first women I ever received a heart felt apology from. Prior to her, any admissions of guilt or acts of contrition were usually non-existent. Especially from the women in my family. If you even got any acknowledgement of wrong-doing it was repackaged with shaming language and affronts to your manhood or guilt for somehow you being the reason she committed the transgression. After a while you just shut down because it goes nowhere and you get tired of being disrespected by your own.
I got mine when misdoings occurred from my now wife. Keith it is a monumental feeling the first time it happened. That let me know she was the real one. She got the public display of intention with a ring of significant caratiture over ten years ago now.
I think it's mental illness , anyone who can't admit wrong ever is not well.
When men are disrespected by other men, 3 things happen. We talk it out and apologize, things get physical or we remain enemies. This is why it feels 10 times worse when the women in your life can't give you a genuine apology. Some know there are no consequences so the bad behavior continues.
I'm in my 30's. My mom and sister's never seriously apologized. My woman is the exact opposite 🙏🏽
Got a little emotional when Kevin said at that we matter. I don't really ever hear it. Not from my family, wife or children. Most of the time it's ungrateful attitudes and only being appreciated in the moment of a transaction.
U should have a little more influence over your children....and also, sorry to hear that.....does wifey watch KS?
That’s very unfortunate. Sorry you’re going through that. That’s not right at all.
A woman apologizing? Never happened in my 45 years. They have always the need to be right therefore they THINK they're always right. Insane.
They rather be DEAD than be DEAD WRONG.
So sad for you,that's not cool. Hope going forward you have healthier relationships with women whom are mature an empathetic enough to apologize 🌹
Forget, Nita!! As women, who are attracted to men and want to be married, we need to hear what men are actually thinking.
I told my sister to go to a Barber shop you will hear everything and know exactly how they feel.
@@Ðཞའo don't do that. It's one of the rare places men are allowed to talk without the drama women bring.
I rarely have to apologize to my husband because I know my place and respect his authority, leadership and direction for our family. I made all those mistakes in my first marriage. I got it right the second time around. Thank God for second chances and forgiveness. When you know better you do better.
I can’t believe I just read this. I wish more women would understand that. And also understand that “knowing your place” is NOT a negative thing.
Damn thank you for being honest
I love how you stand by your husband and respect him. He will always love you because of this energy. Thank you for this.
@@SolaceCity so how do u know your place ? Is asking a question out of place?
@@SolaceCity what does that exactly mean? It sounds very mean. I'm genuinely asking
After being married to my wife for 9 years now, the past two she really has let me lead the family and make decisions because she has learned that I have the family's best interest at heart so she follows me, asks me for advice. And after growing up in a house with six sisters and a scorned mother and me being the eldest boy I was pretty much silenced into even thinking like a man before I became one but I knew early that my mother wasn't right, and because I led myself and taught myself how to be a man and learn valuable lessons in life through experiences my mother hasn't spoken to me in 9 years, because she can never really keep a man by her side. So long story short when you put your foot down as a man there are certain women that will avoid you, and it could be your own mother or sisters. So communicate with your wife because she is really the only person that will be there for you and ladies please let the man lead.
Hell you can’t even get your own mama to say sorry. I haven’t truly heard a real sorry from my mom in all my 23 years of life. It’s just sad🤷🏽♀️
I've had to literally drag apologies out of my mom and I'm 22. It takes literally coaching her through HOW TO SAY "SORRY" to get her to do it. I do t let up either and she knows it. It's to the point now (after about a year of grueling agony) that she is beginning to edit herself and catch when she steps out of line. But I still have to tell her from time to time. The work never stops. 😔
@@angelyeldellbey I’m so sorry about that. But I completely understand what your going through.
The pleasures of waking up to go to my average FedEx job at 2 am is listening to Mr Samuels. Great show tonight as always.
FedEx ain’t no average job my guy!
@@reese85 Reese you are right! It's not! A lot of women won't consider it average either! This BS on TH-cam will have bro thinking no woman will want him because a bunch a dudes who earn much less are not having dating success and wanna poison everyone else!
Much respect to the FedEx brothers.👍
Much respect to the FedEx brothers.👍
Much respect to the FedEx brothers.
Kevin is right about marrying out. You have to be competitive with women of other races. You have to be in better shape and come from a higher socioeconomic class than women the same race as the man you’re with. On top of this, you better not have weave, kids out of wedlock, or family drama. You’re gonna be the one black woman in the pool or in the lake who genuinely LIKES water and can cook, clean, host events, etc.
Men of other races are not going to marry overweight and non-competitive or non-traditional women.
This the one right here
@happy highwayman she has a white husband
@@reese85 so you do, beta female.
@happy highwayman take it up with Kevin, I can find several broadcasts of his where he explains it the way I did.
Also have to integrate with the culture of the family you marry into
I find it kinda funny how women literally can adjust, apologize and humble themselves for friends, work, families but when it comes to you though.. there’s a block
And men don't forget. We just want peace, and let it slide.
He was right about the TV show - as soon as he walked on my jaw done dropped to the floor 🤩
Loved that closing statement. Be proud of who you are gentlemen.
A genuine “I’m sorry” and a genuine “Thank you” go far.
I used to think I was too hard on women until I started watching your show,the truth is that I have never and I will never take bs from any woman until I’m old and gone,I have never tolerated insincere apologies from any woman and I won’t,I have always known in my myself that I am the price and you keep reassuring that.thank you kelvin.
Yeah you are the PRICE. You’re absolutely correct sir.
I LOVE THIS TALK!!!!! HES SPEAKING THE TRUTH
Women don’t apologize. When they are done with a situation, they put the blame on the man, get into a relationship with a new man and move forward with their life.
When he talks about apologies and women hating any kind of vulnerability from men, this is 100% true all day every day.
I remember when I turned 18, I asked my mom why she didn’t stay with my dad (separated when I was 2) she couldn’t answer the question for some reason, even though I thought it was a pretty simple question. Asked my dad and he gave me an answer in 5 minutes, and guess what??? I went to 13 different schools in 6 cities because she didn’t want to stay home and take care of her 2 kids (at the time).
Edit: I say 2 “at the time” because I am the oldest of 6 as of now.
Your dad shoulda choze better
bro?? are you me ?? the only difference for me is my mom realized there was no point dating other people when she already has 3 kids with my dad and they got back together after being separated for 10 years
I'm paying for an apartment right now that I don't even live in so that my daughter is stable...... I'm not even with her mother but in order to make sure she's not moving around like spare tires I had to bite bullets.
@@ruggedtechie5867 😆 spare tires
@@ruggedtechie5867 😆 spare tires
It’s crazy how this video came up last night and earlier that day…my ex wife apologized sincerely to me…after 13 years of knowing her. That’s never happened. She’s been getting therapy, when I say it hit different…man
Just know she was smashing other men before she said that to you but if you want to get back with her *accept the consequences* that comes with getting back with your ex-wife if you choose to.
To be exact, 6 other men. You made a critical error and assumed I wanted to get back with her. Not in the slightest sir. I have too many options in the big city. I don’t really find her that sexually attractive anymore either. It took me 10 years to get away and I been away for 3. I know full well the consequences. It just felt good to hear her say “I’m sorry”.
@@Isaac_Haze91 That is good 💯💯💯💯. Good luck to you 😈💯🥶
@@Isaac_Haze91 fam! You didn’t have to respond to that dumb azz comment, smh!
This man never misses🎯💯
The audacity of publishing a book with someone's name or likeness without even a conversation?!?!?
Needed to hear this opening statement I def ruined relationships because I had to be right I have grown so much since then wow 🙏🏽
Smh
This subject hits home for me. My sister lied on our father when we were children and that lie almost distoryed my family. She later admitted to the lie, but if our father went to jail he would have died there. Now that our father has passed away to this day she's never apologized for that lie. It's going on about 28 years and she's not sorry for it and I can't forget or forgive her.
What was the lie about?
I doesn't matter what the lie was about. It was obviously serious enough to cause chaos and he passed without the apology he deserved.
@Todd Muhammad nah we gotta know what she lied about
@Todd Muhammad
If she’s a sociopath or psychopath she won’t feel shame or guilt.
When I was a child, almost everytime we'd drive a cemetery...my great-grandmother would say, "there's at least one man out there in a grave due to some woman's lies."
She said this repeatedly for a reason...I listened.
When I was a younger adult, I got into it with my gf at the time. I talked to my mom about it, and she basically told me "women will start shit, just to see emotion/passion come out of you just to show that you care" and I took that advice, and I applied it, and she was right. But one day, I asked my gf, "why do you want to start arguements with me if YOU KNOW I dont like to argue? And why do I need to argue with you, just for you to see that I care? Is what I do not enough?" She went silent.
'We stopped being 3/5th of a person a long time ago"
This hits REALLY HARD because of the painful acknowledgement that in the black community BW routinely disregard, dismiss and disrespect our very personhood. The world already devalues BM everyday, its soul crushing that that same attitude is upheld by the ones we love.
When a man tries to call out a bw you always have a bunch of bm ready to virtue signal in her defense
Ok so do you have any idea why its like that...?
@@novelcoronaheads black culture has too many women and not enough husbands. So they’re never held accountable.
@@jbb8261 We dont have a culture..our culture was destroyed...Thats why they call us black and negro...because we are the victims of european culture religion and rule...We have to start from scratch...although many of todays technologies came from our ideas...Slaves and or indigenous people ideas were not protected under any patent law...only whites...
@@jbb8261 try not to get our recent history and our enemies culture confused with our current condition in society...We built this economy yet we see non of the benefits...New immigrants have more opportunities than we do today...Something to think about...Why blame each other...?
EVERYTHING discussed is factual. So many brothers have swallowed their pride and acted as if they were actually wrong to make women comfortable. This isn’t just in romantic situations. the generation i’m in, at 40y/o, we we’re literally raised to think women were automatically correct. It led to a lot of this mess we’re dealing with now. You’re not crazy fellas.
Sounds like another parental failure to me...What you think...?
Yeah remember the Cosby show. Wifey was always right
I was NEVER told that the woman is always right! And if I was, I didn’t hear it! So it didn’t apply to me. I never had an issue telling a female, she made me feel away
@@reese85 thats good...you see thats a problem that many men have...Its not good to argue back and fourth with women just take the right action like a mature man...You cant out argue a woman...People dont listen well on that frequency to say the least.....
@@reese85 thats good...you see thats a problem that many men have...Its not good to argue back and fourth with women just take the right action like a mature man...You cant out argue a woman...People dont listen well on that frequency to say the least.....
I hope you don’t get lost in the reality tv world. The community needs you Kevin.
Only time will tell, but everyone switched up when big money is involved
"You matter." Too many people, especially men, have forgotten that as long as they're a decent person, they matter. Thanks Kevin
Apologies aren't enough ladies. I'm sorry ain't shit if you're not specific & own up to what you did. Changed behavior and helping him heal from what you did is mandatory.
KS handing out a free tutorial, ladies take notes. Men have had enough
That goes double and triple for all the grandpa's,fathers, uncles, big brothers and little brothers.
SOME MEN; Simps out here giving these broads false a mindset.
Yep we are tired of detrimental liabilities and lost causes.
@@RelentlessDjango that's one of our biggest problems in our community in the dating and marital world
Ecclesiastes 7:26-28
Proverbs 5, 11:22, 14:1, 21:9, 21:19 and 31:3
Isaiah 3:16-26
Micah 7:10
Revelation 2:20-23
These scriptures are proof of God Almighty frowning at the none virtuous women in this world 🌎🌍
They never apologize! They just find a way to throw it back on you as if your the reason why she did what she did.
The last 5 minutes of this video were the strongest - we need more of this. "You're a man; be proud of who you are!"
That transactional aspect of relationships is something that is often very very misunderstood. Deposit and withdrawals , such a great way to break it down. Listening to your analogies, I’m always taking notes and expanding my perspective! TY
3 things the modern woman can NEVER say:
1. "I'm Sorry"
2. "I was wrong"
3. "It's my fault"
4. “I’m overweight”
@@travisknowledge6915 😂😂😂😂😂 whats this
Thank you one of the Realist videos you've ever done, incredible work.
Women don’t apologize…they just remind you of stuff you did (that you actually apologized for) to justify what they did. If you meet a woman that can’t say sorry when you communicate how you feel about her wrong doing….just leave her. Test a new woman with this, if she fails, that’s the only red flag you need. That relationship will be hell if you proceed. It tells you that she is arrogant, prideful, unscrupulous, and doesn’t genuinely care about you. EXIT
🎯
This comment ☝🏽🏆
So, how long have you known my ex-wife? 😂
@@cw5971 😂 mine did the same thing
@@tswagg504 They have the same damn operating system
This needs to be rebroadcasted!
Men, we just have to start breaking up more quickly with women.
If a woman says “I’ve already apologized what more do you want?” Just drop her. Because that’s already not operating in good faith, you can’t have an honest conversation with that. All you can do is recognize the disrespect and leave her. Then maybe she’ll think twice before doing that with the next man. And even if she doesn’t learn from that, at least you have rid your life of toxicity and gained peace of mind. Do not tolerate disrespect even slightly. And don’t even get mad at her when she says that, just remain calm, and just say “thanks, we had a good time, I think the good times are over though so good bye mam 🤗”.
I swear the worst is when they hold grudges or incidents for a long time and won't let it go. I don't think I ever seen a woman apologize for me that way
If they need to hold grudges or can’t get passed something she just shouldn’t be with you.
The Lead Attorney needs to give tight monologues like these. KS gives a couple minutes of warm up and straight to it. Much appreciated KS.
Yes, the Lead just be shooting the shit for the first two hours.
He be giving his opening statements like he in court 🤣 Shout out to TLA!
They bill by the hour.
" Leaaaad attorney here (clap his hands). Hope you guys are doing well....oh struggle streaming already!?" 😄
Lead Attorney has his own style. Great in his own right.
KS is so right about how dating outside of your race can be life changing.
Secondly the best apology is changed behavior. Ladies don't just say it, DO IT.
I dont know if you sued that woman over using your likeness but the way you handled her just for that short instance was incredibly professional 👏
This is a damn shame. Grown adults can’t even say they are sorry for doing wrong. That’s how far removed we gotten in relationships.
Mans apology- I'm sorry and I take responsibility for what I've done.
Woman's apology- I'm sorry BUT, I think you took it that way.
I'm sorry BUT, I did that because I "FEEL" like.....
I'm sorry BUT, you did this so I did that....
Or “I’m sorry but i did it for a reason, you deserved it”
Or..."Do you want something to eat?" 😆😆😆
As a Blachelor, with many female relatives & who only date Black women, I can without a doubt say, this is the primary reason why many of mines didn't last or came back together or even female friends and relatives. I have yet to meet any who is willing to sincerely apologize. As a matter of fact, some will be upset that they are wrong and sabotage the relationship. Saying they are "sorry" is too much like "submissions". 🙄
Women don't apologize!! All I hear is I apologized last night!
🤦♂️😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭
This was a very good show. I’m glad he is highlighting the fact that men are unappreciated. They have feelings and want to be acknowledged as well!
Kevin you stepping on some toes with this topic. Thank you Brotha. I totally agree with you. You are really starting to open peoples eyes.
I’m not perfect. I’m a disabled veteran with a lot of physical and mental issues. I see a psychologist every Monday and a psychiatrist every 6 weeks. One of the issues that we’re tackling in therapy is the fact that I shouldn’t have to always preface that “I’m not perfect” to explain how someone wronged me.
But that’s what life was like with a woman who, after 21 years, openly admitted in counseling that she’s only been wrong “three times in my life and two of them was as a teenager”.
How do you compete with that? I remember asking the therapist to take 20+ years of problems between two people, big and small, and then recognize that one of them is “never wrong”. I remember him specifically asking her:
“If there are 2000 issues between them, how many are you wrong”?
Her: Honestly, I don’t ever see myself as wrong when there are conflicts.
In 2003, halfway through my first year in the Army, I absolutely EXPLODED on her for her lack of effort, excuses, and not living up to her promises.
She said, "I'm sorry".
I said, "you damn right you're sorry. You're always sorry. That's all you know. You never try". When we would talk about this moment for YEARS, she never once brought up **WHY** it was that I was mad. I was mad because before we got married, she made a ton of unsolicited promises to me. Once we got married, she realized that her promises were "too hard" and that I was •MY• responsibility to recognize that her promises were too hard for her to do and (without ever talking), I should have immediately moved on from her promises like she never said them. Again.....without ever talking, I should have "realized" this.
There was no resolution to that comment or conversation. But that blow up accorded a mere 9 months into a 20 year marriage. We were both 23yo. From that day forward, she believed a few things:
-What happened in the "past" was applicable to me for life. It gave her a LIFETIME excuse to do, feel or say whatever. Simply because I was a stressed out soldier on his way to Iraq and she refused to help me. She was now ineligible for saying "I'm Sorry" for the rest of her life because I got mad once.
-Despite the fact that we were born a mere two DAYS apart, only she was eligible for making "young" mistakes......(sigh).....yeah, I know.
Me: You put your mom, the church, and random ass people before me. I’m always 4th or 5th option in your life.
Her: You wouldn’t understand.
She consistently made and then purposely failed to keep promises, but said that it was my “responsibility” to keep promises regardless of if she did or not.
She said that it was my job to wait on her to be “ready” to change, even if it took 20 years.
When we finally broke up and I learned all of her “secrets”, (including mistreatment of our kids), she felt like she “deserved” 65% of what I made for at least 5 years, due to the vast “academic disparity gap” between us.
Her: “You have two doctorates and the ability to make all this money.
Me: And I tore up my body, almost lost my life in the military and had a heart attack at 39.
Her: You still have more than me.
Me: I suffered for this family. I averaged 4 hours of sleep for 6 years and worked up to 3 part time jobs between classes and rotations.
Her: No one told you to join the Army. No one told you to love your family too much. You should have went to school for yourself, not to take care of us.
Me: The greatest form of protest is to NOT spend money. Money has been available for 3.5 years. I can go through the account and show you where you wasted THOUSANDS of dollars instead of going to school.
Her: I wasn’t ready to go yet.
Me: So why are you so upset.
Her: Because you still have more than me. When people look at you, they’re impressed with all of your accomplishments. When they look at me, they look at me like I’m dumb.
Me: Then why spend all this money if you hate what I’ve become?
Her. (Silence)
I think you should write a book for yourself
You went through a lot and that woman made things worse
@@janelleg597 I’m considering it.
My psych team wants me to get right first. It’s been a struggle. I just discovered what the term “gaslighting” meant in 2020.
It’s hard learning that you don’t have to feel guilty for standing up for yourself and/or having boundaries.
I feel like the Holy Bible was used against me as well. It was my “job” to focus on who she was and not what she did….no matter how many times she did it.
If I owned a mistake, we had a problem because I was trying to show her up.
Even blamed cheating on me as my fault.
Despite losing my squad in a roadside bomb in downtown Baghdad my last week in the Army and being medically discharged extremely early, I had the weight of the world on my shoulder.
15 years later, she (FINALLY) said that she realized the at I had a hard time….but.
Her: “I know you lost your friends and would have died on that mission. I know that you had 3 small kids that you couldn’t care for. But it was impossible for me to remember to take a pill. So even though the odds were against you and you had to handle all of this alone, I still wanted more children and you took that away from me”
Me: So after being together for over 4 years and married for over two, the FIRST time we have a major argument, you start screwing the whole city after telling me “Army wives don’t have sex”??
Her: You were talking mean to me!!
Me: I asked you for help and you said no! I went 8 days without real food and 13 days overall. I asked my ‘wife’ for help because I was starving and had to choose between gas money and food. You can’t go 8 hours without food! So you expect me to be happy-go-lucky after going 13? What if I wasn’t a trained soldier??
Her: I know you lost a lot of weight and stole candy at work….but you could have been nicer.
Me: So your response to being angry with me about getting fixed at 25yo is to have random, unprotected sex with dudes in your Black book? Your secrets have secrets and you’re mad at me for getting mad. Why can’t I get mad? Why am I not allowed to starve or be cold or hungry?
Her: No one told you to stay….
@@NoWayToHell it’s takes a lot of prayer not to end it all everyday. I grew up in and out of foster care. So the idea of having a family was my world.
@@kimmzy103
I’ve only summarized my life. If you read closer (at the beginning), I am getting help. I also do have a plan. I’m simply replying my life experiences on a public forum, just like you and everyone else is.
Furthermore, I think that you’re missing the point of my experiences. In the book that’s being written, everything starts and ends with mental health. It’s deeper than the individual actions. You can repent and say it sorry for individual actions.
That was not the case in my life. In my story, I was made out to be crazy. I’ve been separated for 2 years and the divorce proceedings are about to start. So yes, I have a plan. But my past relationship with that woman has scarred me. She was a class-A manipulator who even surprised our church counselors in the end. She surprised everyone. She knew what I wanted and needed in life; a family. I didn’t grow up like most folks did. So the idea of a family was my #1 passion. She was technically abusing the kids too. That was the straw for me. I travel a lot in Infectious Disease, once my oldest two got near college age. We didn’t want them to suffer. But right before we broke up, I discovered that she hadn’t taught our children in over 3 years (we homeschooled)….but prevented me from working with them while I at home or on the road. In the end, she said that it didn’t “bother” her that they are undereducated or that my son has a fraudulent high school diploma.
So 2 of my 3 kids are uneducated. That’s not a sob story, that’s real. Since we’ve split, they’ve gained a ton of weight since she’s “unbothered” by their appearance. I’m still affected by this. My kids know that a plane ticket is always available, but they’re too hooked to take it.
So it’s not just my life that she’s damaged. The more I learn in these proceedings, the more I learn how sociopathic she is. Like I led, I’m seeing a psychologist every Monday and a Psychiatrist every 6 weeks and sometimes sooner. They’ve even unearthed medical records from my service time, that indicated issues with her early in the marriage.
Once this is painfully over, I still have work to do. Thankful, my youngest just turned 18. But they’re still self-taught all the way through high school. They have no skills because EVERYTHING I attempted with them was shot down and met with disdain. Where I was completely wrong in the marriage is that I allowed my wife to sabotage our children’s future, in the name of power and control…..and I’ll have to answer to God for that.
Amazing show, keep defending MEN, ALL MEN, GOD is looking down smiling at who HE Created 🙏🏾✊🏾🙏🏾
How can anyone dislike this man?!
He is absolutely correct. Non-black women know how to apologize. Not only do they say “I’m sorry” multiple times, sometimes with tears but they blitz you with hugs and kisses right afterwards and I’m talking to the point where you have to playfully fight them off and some of them actually ask if you’re hungry and want to cook something for you and this is for minor infractions.
Welp, looks like your mind is made up, so please dont waste some black womans time knowing to you she coukd never measure up.
@@everyonedeservestogohome2949 I’m not sure what your comment means or is implying, My mind is made up about what?
@ everyone deserves to go home did what he say trigger you?
@@everyonedeservestogohome2949 Not sure how you missed my guy's message here, but you attacked a point he didn't make. You should be embarrassed and sign off.
But nonblack men know how to apologize and take responsibility something black men don’t know how to do.
Growing up my mother was in the streets heavy, had me living in the most dangerous neighborhoods, in and out of abusive relationships, staying nights in shelters, foster home while she was drug programs. No after school sports or programs for me she couldn’t afford that. Xmas was always wack and now I’m in my 40’s and she’s just apologizing lol and that’s after me expressing all the trauma she took my through. I’m grateful she’s cleaned her life up and been clean from drugs for many years now.
Sounds like my x-wife's life. Lol. When she finally got her life together. Every time I see her, she ap
Apologize for the pass. And tell we are very good. So no need for any more. But still does it too this day.
@@reginaldsims9450 that’s heavy, she must really feel like she f up
I thank GOD and commend her on straightening up but I definitely feel you
@@freeindeed8416 facts bro! Good looking I Appreciate you
My best friend I talked one day about approaches to relationships and she stated her past relationships before her husband failed because she saw those men as "just my boyfriend". She didn't start getting better results until she checked herself and started thinking "would I do ____ to a friend? Then I shouldn't do it to my man." This also includes giving sincere apologies.
Best Episode Ever! It's triggering and 100% correct
If you can't conflict with me, you can't build with me. That's REAL TALK. The Godfather 🙌🏿
I’ve been praying for this to be a TV show🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
The delusion is real ain't no Hispanic or white man checking for a light heavyweight woman with box braids 🤦🏿♂️
hahahaha I tell you
You ain't lying brother!
Thanks for standing up for us.
This monologue hit home more than anything I've heard from KS
I really needed to hear that segment at the end. Thank you very much, Mr Samuels.
Holy Jesus! This was such a refreshing topic and breath of fresh air! Finally, a voice that resounds unspoken, painful truths. It was not until too long ago I sat down and had to look up the word "insanity". I remember telling someone that "I have many flaws like everyone else and will never claim to be perfect or act like my s**** don't stink. But, your greatest flaw is believing you're unflawed." That is just mental torture. Everything Kevin said I have experienced and seen many good male friends go through. This really needs to be in every Alexa device for all couples at home. This is hardcore therapy for both parties and is such a well needed and salient conversation.
Kevin, thank you for your content!
MEN MATTER.
We matter. I mentioned you to my group Tuesday as we talked about what's love got to do with it
in my experience most women in general have a problem saying ‘i’m sorry’. type of thing where i think it’s all ego and pride. even to the point where they could risk losing everything over trying to be right.
Im on 10min into the monologue and he is already teaching and speaking facts. My wife watch ks also and she apologized for something and I was so shocked. I sat up quick to make sure I'm hearing it right. So thanks KS.
🤣🤣, 🥰🥰 that’s sweet
This show was a real gut check for me. The "I'm sorry you felt that way but that wasn't my intention " apology is me... I've been giving BS apologies and I am sorry.
@Kush Hazard Why. It's not like I was a horrible person. I just didn't know how men felt and my exes accept that as an apology since I did invest my time and money even though the words were subpar. But now that I know better I can do better. It's all a learning process
@@k.monique8013 more proof most women can't relate, understand and have empathy for a man's situation
POWERFUL message and I need this one la long time ago. Thank You Mr K S.
What a wonderful show this was. I hope the ladies listing take notes.
@Reginald Watson 😂 I know right...
Loved this! And sincere "I'm sorry" are appreciated in all relationships. If someone tells me "I apologize" or just says "ok, I'm sorry" as a starement, i don't buy the BS either. Its like handing someone a dead fish in the hand. It means nothing. Lately it seems like thst is what people will tell you. I have no poblem confessing my sins when i commit them.
I absolutely love this message and I definitely agree!!!!
Godfather you hit the nail on the head, my wife heard all the accurate things you were saying and got a attitude! We as men been dealing with this and I'm freaking tired of it
So when’s the divorce🤷🏾♂️
Your wife is combative I guarantee for sure… She thinking about divorce too 😳😳
One of my favorite quotes about apologies: "'I'm sorry you're angry’ is not an apology." - Lisa Lutz
This sort of garbage is modern legalistic nonsense. It is literally for legal cases where you want to offer sympathy without admitting culpability. “I’m sorry you were injured” when you run someone over. “I am sorry that happened to you” instead of admitting you knew the SVP has been molesting women who work for him for the past 20 years. It is NOT for use in caring relationships.
Fantastic show!!! Here's a Real True Story- my job send me to many places to repair machines . One day I was in JFK Airport fixing a machine so when I finished the bartender in the American airlines lounge reminded me of an additional issue with another machine. I got so upset because not only did I consult her before starting my work she never told me the other issue which would require me to leave the airport go back to my truck and get the part. Anyway when I return to the lounge after passing through airport security the bartender who is from Bangladesh immediately said " I'M SORRY" . This blew me away because I have almost never in my 55 years heard a woman say these exact words. Maybe because she was from a different part of the world that made the DIFFERENCE .