“BEFRIENDING THE BODY Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past. In my practice I begin the process by helping my patients to first notice and then describe the feelings in their bodies-not emotions such as anger or anxiety or fear but the physical sensations beneath the emotions: pressure, heat, muscular tension, tingling, caving in, feeling hollow, and so on. I also work on identifying the sensations associated with relaxation or pleasure. I help them become aware of their breath, their gestures and movements. All too often, however, drugs such as Abilify, Zyprexa, and Seroquel, are prescribed instead of teaching people the skills to deal with such distressing physical reactions. Of course, medications only blunt sensations and do nothing to resolve them or transform them from toxic agents into allies. The mind needs to be reeducated to feel physical sensations, and the body needs to be helped to tolerate and enjoy the comforts of touch. Individuals who lack emotional awareness are able, with practice, to connect their physical sensations to psychological events. Then they can slowly reconnect with themselves.” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Today I have created content approaching trauma informed care....this topic need to be approached carefully as trauma is real and can have devastating effects.... a video cannot substitute for professional counselling....it can only be supportive....I will write a post about this...Trauma informed care is about the principles of Safety. Trustworthiness & transparency. Peer support. Collaboration & mutuality. Empowerment & choice. Cultural, historical & gender issues In that persons own time...let me know what you think of this piece of content...so much love to you all. Lauren
I am on Pristiq & Bupropion way too Long…. I want to get Off of them Psychiatrist & Internal Medicine ( The day I was Born my mom was informed of a Congenital Birth Disorder called Klippell- Trenaurnay or K-T. I Never Thought I’d be Affected with Psych Issues as I Always Was Surviving but when My 2 BEST FRIENDS DIED, My Mom My Aunty & after Caregiving for Them & They Dying Everything CRASHED ! Doing Everything as a Much as I Could as Schooling, Marrying, Children ( I was told I Never Could have but had 3 then Raised 4 not my own but Really Became My Own. I have a Large Group here. My Husband got a Girlfriend in 2008, I Thought - then found out her name was Crystal ( Meth) In 2018 on May 1st He Lost His Mind & Slept for a Week & then was EMPTY HEADED. Goes from the Bedroom to the Porch - watches old TV Re-Runs then Eats & Goes back To Bed. I am So Stuck. My Daughter Does what He Needs & Sleeps in The Bedroom …. since 2018 I live in my Parlor. I am Committed to Being a Protector of Our MAUNAKEA- Yes I Lived on an Access Road, on a Cot, under a Tent with the Others Protectors besides being 1 of the 38 ARRESTED KUPUNA ( Elders) For 7 Months….. but I am Still Working with Our Native Indigenous Hawaiian Nation For Our LANDS & RIGHTS TO BE RETURNED FROM THE AMERICAN ILLEGAL OVERTHROW OF OUR KINGDOM 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
What if the trauma happened to your mother and trickled down? But she refuses to talk about it? I’m afraid my own daughter will Be affected the way I was before the realized I was dealing with trauma passed down?
thank you so much for opening my mind my heart n my eyes to know me. I send millions of hug to you ..I listen to all ur video n for a 1year it has change me.so ty but yes your voice has me better I've tried other which are good but I still come back to your channel ty for helping ppl in so many way. Sending love to you from Mississippi send tears of healing to you from a recovering trauma narcissistic family and relationship. im learning to know myself more please post more of this if you can May our God bless you in your studies and your voice I ty.😇😇😇😇💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 I will heal ty 🙏 😌 ✨ 💛
Lauren- your voice is very calming...I finally found the voice that is calming to me... but I have such anger when I hear someone suggest to be "grateful"...for WHAT? For the 'trauma'? For the fact that there most definitely are people out there that are suffering more than I ? No. I cannot do it. I am NOT grateful for my situation...or any of the other dear people here's experiences. My soul weeps for them in solidarity.
This was so specific to what I've been going through. I was sexually assaulted in my home some years ago and I'm still suffering from it. I've had a few bouts of therapy with minimal results. But what you say in the opening is exactly how I feel. I need to do this at my pace not the therapist's , not my family's and not my friend's. I know everyone has their heart in the right place but I've said sometime there are days that I'm not going to feel ok and i just have to feel the pain and work through it.. i think this is one of the reasons i I still have this is because i buried it. I've actually been doing better these last few months becaus I'm quietly getting stronger partly because of meditations like yours Lauren. I miss the pre-assault Denise and want to get back to being me. But I'm trying to be more compassionate with myself. It's 4:34am here I've been awake for a couple of hours now. I'm going to go back to listening to this whole meditation. I've listened to the opening of this 4 times becaus its so nice to hear something I can relate to. Thank you Lauren!! Waukegan IL Denise. Blessings to all. .
What a beautiful beautiful comment Denise thank you so much I thought a lot about doing this before I did it and also check the academic research as trauma is so different to depression or sadness or loss trauma must be at the persons own pace trauma must be safe Compassionate and collaborative thinking of you I think you’re absolutely amazing to do this I have so much admiration for you much love Lauren
I've been banging around trying to heal myself for over two decades. I think it's done more to compound my difficulties than heal them..THIS is the first video I've responded to with a sigh of relief. Thank you so, so much for giving the comfort and gentleness I so desperately need. ❤🩹
hello, I always appreciate your meditations. this drama meditation is timely. the only problem I have with this meditation is that there is a canned and echoing quality to it that causes me to almost not want to listen to it. but nevertheless, I do appreciate this meditation and am listening to it right now. if you ever have a chance to redo this meditation with a different audio, that would be amazing! either way, thank you so much for all you do.
Hi there Cris I record in an apartment which has no furniture so that is the acoustics of the room I'm so sorry that that made it more challenging to process in lesson two and thank you so very much for writing to me with constructive feedback I really appreciate it
Do you have a meditation for stopping binge drinking? I didn’t have the urge to have a drink until about six months ago and now I’m unable to stop. I’m terrified and confused by this as everything was going so miraculously well before this. I’ve put on almost 20 lbs of the 90 I lost just from all The calories. I’m puffy and I feel tired all the time but if I don’t have a drink (I’m talking vodka, not a glass of wine here and there), my anxiety goes through the roof. It’s out of control and I’m already on medication so I can’t utilize that to stop Either. I am so ashamed. I think Michael Sealy has one from about 7 years ago but thought I’d check with you just in case. This can’t go on. Thanks Lauren ❤️
Hi Lindsay there is something deeper happening here you are self-medicating for a particular reason both with food and alcohol through meditation you can quieten your mind and realise the answers if you are ready I will also consider doing a meditation along this line but Lindsay there are things that need to be released you've had particular experiences that may need working through or perhaps the timing is not right only you know but we eat too much and drink too much to self soothe and self medication… Where does this come from … You know this deep within yourself… You are your own best advocate… At the same time make sure you reach out to Professional support and see a doctor you're a beautiful beautiful person Lindsay and you can do this
@@LaurenOstrowskiFenton Lauren , I have always struggled with compulsive behavior. Healthy or destructive, if it makes me feel Good it consumes me. I was bed ridden for 8 years and once I has surgery to Fix my face after the accident, dance was my refuge. And that was healthy. Then around February I changed jobs and my dance schedule didn’t quite fit. I also Met a female friend who seems to Attract drama (and men which doesn’t make it any easier). All The positive work has begun to reverse around this person. I know I have to purge toxic people from my life like cutting out a cancer. But she keeps drawing me back in to drama that has literally nothing to Do with me. I want to Reverse the toxicity that has entered my life. I want to hurt anyone’s feelings but she has made it clear (mainly when she’s had too Much to Drink) that she’s jealous that I have dance and she has “nothing”. It’s classic privilege and I have to stand up For myself and my daughter. Period. Having worked in mental health in this area where we live I have unfortunately seen the negative side of treatment (ie keeping those whose insurance hasn’t run out and booting those who are not ready to leave because their insurance HAS run out). Because of this I’m reluctant to get professional treatment. I do know that I need to make changes very soon before I enter the danger zone,where I will not be able to function without the alcohol. I appreciate all of your advice and taking the time to converse with me. Perhaps there is a greater purpose for all of this dialogue. Ideally I’d love to start a real program that doesn’t rely solely on monetary greed in the name of recovery. ❤️
@@LaurenOstrowskiFenton Also, after spending 8 years in bed almost dying from a bilateral PE in 2016, I finally found A surgeon who fixed my face to The point where I Could dance and work again. I lost 90 Lbs this year and rebuilt my life. I don’t want to watch it crumble after the blessings I’ve received. You’re the best and I know you have been through so much trauma this year.
@@lindsayr6208 remember to seek professional medical advice….Again Lindsay you know that I don’t know enough about you to make any reasonable comment but from what you write you are an empath and an empath attracts people with problematic behaviours and self image and those people sap you of your energy and you want to help them this will not work out for you… I would keep a diary of the patterns of compulsive behaviour and see what is occurring at the same time I would say that the compulsive behaviour relates to denial it’s like trying to out what’s around you… i’m not keen on the word “toxicity“ as it almost objectifies another one’s behaviour the fact is somebody behaves in a way towards those around them that is not at all acceptable when we say toxic it almost makes the toxicity an animal in its own right forgiving or releasing the behaviour where as the reality is that people are behaving poorly… I don’t know how old you are it took me a very long time to learn and I’m still learning I would encourage you to do itengar yoga chant pray and meditate I also would encourage progressive body scans a body talks to us the more we can listen our body tells us went to withdraw from those around us and our body tells us who is not good for us. You may want to save the world but you have to save yourself first… And keep in mind I’m reading a comment of yours on TH-cam so my ability to see is very limited much love Lauren
Yes you are completely correct I agree with you. I feel that any trauma informed care needs to be face-to-face so this was intended to be a soft approach but without knowing the person's triggers it's difficult provide a pertinent meditation. I attempted to explain this in the beginning. I've been asked so many times for this and other similar videos and have pointed out that it really needs to be face-to-face. I appreciate your comments please feel free to message me in a new message to suggest content sometimes I don't get to replies so it's best to start a new message hope you are okay and thanks for the constructive comment
Thank you so much I also appreciate your comment the topic of trauma is extremely challenging to work through and up to now I haven’t agreed with doing it online as each experience and set of triggers is so very different and the journey to healing is different I really appreciate the input I have been doing more and more reading in this area about how to provide appropriate supportive therapy… Supportive therapy being generalised therapy rather than specific one on one professional therapy… You made very good suggestions thank you
I had to kill it before responding to your well worded response. My husband and I both had to talk long and hard about this one and agreed it was horrible to handle . Telling me things over and over real slow does not help . This is not a Pryor ,Wilder movie speaking slowly and repeating did not work on them either lol.
“BEFRIENDING THE BODY
Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.
In my practice I begin the process by helping my patients to first notice and then describe the feelings in their bodies-not emotions such as anger or anxiety or fear but the physical sensations beneath the emotions: pressure, heat, muscular tension, tingling, caving in, feeling hollow, and so on. I also work on identifying the sensations associated with relaxation or pleasure. I help them become aware of their breath, their gestures and movements.
All too often, however, drugs such as Abilify, Zyprexa, and Seroquel, are prescribed instead of teaching people the skills to deal with such distressing physical reactions. Of course, medications only blunt sensations and do nothing to resolve them or transform them from toxic agents into allies.
The mind needs to be reeducated to feel physical sensations, and the body needs to be helped to tolerate and enjoy the comforts of touch. Individuals who lack emotional awareness are able, with practice, to connect their physical sensations to psychological events. Then they can slowly reconnect with themselves.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Today I have created content approaching trauma informed care....this topic need to be approached carefully as trauma is real and can have devastating effects.... a video cannot substitute for professional counselling....it can only be supportive....I will write a post about this...Trauma informed care is about the principles of
Safety.
Trustworthiness & transparency.
Peer support.
Collaboration & mutuality.
Empowerment & choice.
Cultural, historical & gender issues
In that persons own time...let me know what you think of this piece of content...so much love to you all.
Lauren
I am on Pristiq & Bupropion way too Long….
I want to get Off of them Psychiatrist & Internal Medicine ( The day I was Born my mom was informed of a Congenital Birth
Disorder called Klippell- Trenaurnay or K-T.
I Never Thought I’d be Affected with Psych Issues as I Always Was Surviving but when My 2 BEST FRIENDS DIED, My Mom My Aunty & after Caregiving for Them & They Dying Everything CRASHED !
Doing Everything as a Much as I Could as Schooling, Marrying, Children ( I was told I Never Could have but had 3 then Raised 4 not my own but Really Became My Own.
I have a Large Group here. My Husband got
a Girlfriend in 2008, I Thought - then found out her name was Crystal ( Meth) In 2018 on May 1st He Lost His Mind & Slept for a Week & then was EMPTY HEADED. Goes from the Bedroom to the Porch - watches old TV Re-Runs then Eats & Goes back To Bed. I am So Stuck. My Daughter Does what He Needs & Sleeps in The Bedroom …. since 2018 I live in my Parlor. I am Committed to Being a Protector of Our MAUNAKEA- Yes I Lived on an Access Road, on a Cot, under a Tent with the Others Protectors besides being 1 of the 38 ARRESTED KUPUNA ( Elders) For 7 Months….. but I am Still Working with Our
Native Indigenous Hawaiian Nation For Our LANDS & RIGHTS TO BE RETURNED FROM THE AMERICAN ILLEGAL OVERTHROW OF OUR KINGDOM 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
What if the trauma happened to your mother and trickled down? But she refuses to talk about it? I’m afraid my own daughter will
Be affected the way I was before the realized I was dealing with trauma passed down?
It’s all poison and shame on big Pharma for
monetizing trauma.
thank you so much for opening my mind my heart n my eyes to know me. I send millions of hug to you ..I listen to all ur video n for a 1year it has change me.so ty but yes your voice has me better I've tried other which are good but I still come back to your channel ty for helping ppl in so many way. Sending love to you from Mississippi send tears of healing to you from a recovering trauma narcissistic family and relationship. im learning to know myself more please post more of this if you can May our God bless you in your studies and your voice I ty.😇😇😇😇💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 I will heal ty 🙏 😌 ✨ 💛
)
Lauren- your voice is very calming...I finally found the voice that is calming to me... but I have such anger when I hear someone suggest to be "grateful"...for WHAT? For the 'trauma'? For the fact that there most definitely are people out there that are suffering more than I ? No. I cannot do it. I am NOT grateful for my situation...or any of the other dear people here's experiences. My soul weeps for them in solidarity.
Sometimes anger can be positive sometimes anger can be motivating I think it's beautiful that your soul weeps for those who are suffering
This was so specific to what I've been going through. I was sexually assaulted in my home some years ago and I'm still suffering from it. I've had a few bouts of therapy with minimal results. But what you say in the opening is exactly how I feel. I need to do this at my pace not the therapist's , not my family's and not my friend's. I know everyone has their heart in the right place but I've said sometime there are days that I'm not going to feel ok and i just have to feel the pain and work through it.. i think this is one of the reasons i I still have this is because i buried it. I've actually been doing better these last few months becaus I'm quietly getting stronger partly because of meditations like yours Lauren. I miss the pre-assault Denise and want to get back to being me. But I'm trying to be more compassionate with myself. It's 4:34am here I've been awake for a couple of hours now. I'm going to go back to listening to this whole meditation. I've listened to the opening of this 4 times becaus its so nice to hear something I can relate to. Thank you Lauren!! Waukegan IL Denise. Blessings to all.
.
What a beautiful beautiful comment Denise thank you so much I thought a lot about doing this before I did it and also check the academic research as trauma is so different to depression or sadness or loss trauma must be at the persons own pace trauma must be safe Compassionate and collaborative thinking of you I think you’re absolutely amazing to do this I have so much admiration for you much love Lauren
By the way I always use voice recorder and never check it so there's always mistakes in my comments
I've been banging around trying to heal myself for over two decades. I think it's done more to compound my difficulties than heal them..THIS is the first video I've responded to with a sigh of relief. Thank you so, so much for giving the comfort and gentleness I so desperately need. ❤🩹
Thank you so much for your kind comments. Yes healing is quite a process isn’t it?
thanks
Thank you for sharing this healing meditation 🙂🏴🙏💖
Thank you for this❤️🙏 You are an angel
Thank you to you or so for listening to me I appreciate it hope you’re well
Thank you so much for your videos.
You are so welcome! Thank you so much for listening
This is beautiful thank you Lauren
Kristin thank you thank you
Amazing
Thank you. Love you
Thank you thank you thank you William for your recent support it makes a world of difference
hello, I always appreciate your meditations. this drama meditation is timely. the only problem I have with this meditation is that there is a canned and echoing quality to it that causes me to almost not want to listen to it. but nevertheless, I do appreciate this meditation and am listening to it right now. if you ever have a chance to redo this meditation with a different audio, that would be amazing! either way, thank you so much for all you do.
Hi there Cris I record in an apartment which has no furniture so that is the acoustics of the room I'm so sorry that that made it more challenging to process in lesson two and thank you so very much for writing to me with constructive feedback I really appreciate it
In love with your beautiful voice
Thank you so much your kindness
Do you have a meditation for stopping binge drinking? I didn’t have the urge to have a drink until about six months ago and now I’m unable to stop. I’m terrified and confused by this as everything was going so miraculously well before this. I’ve put on almost 20 lbs of the 90
I lost just from all
The calories. I’m puffy and I feel tired all the time but if I don’t have a drink (I’m talking vodka, not a glass of wine here and there), my anxiety goes through the roof. It’s out of control and I’m already on medication so I can’t utilize that to stop
Either. I am so ashamed. I think Michael Sealy has one from about 7 years ago but thought I’d check with you just in case. This can’t go on. Thanks Lauren ❤️
Hi Lindsay there is something deeper happening here you are self-medicating for a particular reason both with food and alcohol through meditation you can quieten your mind and realise the answers if you are ready I will also consider doing a meditation along this line but Lindsay there are things that need to be released you've had particular experiences that may need working through or perhaps the timing is not right only you know but we eat too much and drink too much to self soothe and self medication… Where does this come from … You know this deep within yourself… You are your own best advocate… At the same time make sure you reach out to Professional support and see a doctor you're a beautiful beautiful person Lindsay and you can do this
@@LaurenOstrowskiFenton Lauren , I have always struggled with compulsive behavior. Healthy or destructive, if it makes me feel
Good it consumes me. I was bed ridden for 8 years and once I has surgery to
Fix my face after the accident, dance was my refuge. And that was healthy. Then around February I changed jobs and my dance schedule didn’t quite fit. I also
Met a female friend who seems to
Attract drama (and men which doesn’t make it any easier). All
The positive work has begun to reverse around this person. I know I have to purge toxic people from my life like cutting out a cancer. But she keeps drawing me back in to drama that has literally nothing to
Do with me. I want to
Reverse the toxicity that has entered my life. I want to hurt anyone’s feelings but she has made it clear (mainly when she’s had too
Much to
Drink) that she’s jealous that I have dance and she has “nothing”. It’s classic privilege and I have to stand up
For myself and my daughter. Period. Having worked in mental health in this area where we live I have unfortunately seen the negative side of treatment (ie keeping those whose insurance hasn’t run out and booting those who are not ready to leave because their insurance HAS run out). Because of this I’m reluctant to get professional treatment. I do know that I need to make changes very soon before I enter the danger zone,where I will not be able to function without the alcohol. I appreciate all of your advice and taking the time to converse with me. Perhaps there is a greater purpose for all of this dialogue. Ideally I’d love to start a real program that doesn’t rely solely on monetary greed in the name of recovery. ❤️
@@LaurenOstrowskiFenton Also, after spending 8 years in bed almost dying from a bilateral PE in 2016, I finally found
A surgeon who
fixed my face to
The point where I Could
dance and work again. I
lost 90
Lbs this year and rebuilt my life. I don’t want to watch it crumble after the blessings I’ve received. You’re the best and I know you have been through so much trauma this year.
@@lindsayr6208 remember to seek professional medical advice….Again Lindsay you know that I don’t know enough about you to make any reasonable comment but from what you write you are an empath and an empath attracts people with problematic behaviours and self image and those people sap you of your energy and you want to help them this will not work out for you… I would keep a diary of the patterns of compulsive behaviour and see what is occurring at the same time I would say that the compulsive behaviour relates to denial it’s like trying to out what’s around you… i’m not keen on the word “toxicity“ as it almost objectifies another one’s behaviour the fact is somebody behaves in a way towards those around them that is not at all acceptable when we say toxic it almost makes the toxicity an animal in its own right forgiving or releasing the behaviour where as the reality is that people are behaving poorly… I don’t know how old you are it took me a very long time to learn and I’m still learning I would encourage you to do itengar yoga chant pray and meditate I also would encourage progressive body scans a body talks to us the more we can listen our body tells us went to withdraw from those around us and our body tells us who is not good for us. You may want to save the world but you have to save yourself first… And keep in mind I’m reading a comment of yours on TH-cam so my ability to see is very limited much love Lauren
@@LaurenOstrowskiFenton and I barely eat…it’s all
calories and water weight from
The cocktails
Could you please give mg megnisum for sleep no stomach problems? Thank you
Saying trauma over and over is triggering. So is saying you have to have supportive people because some people don't have that.
Yes you are completely correct I agree with you. I feel that any trauma informed care needs to be face-to-face so this was intended to be a soft approach but without knowing the person's triggers it's difficult provide a pertinent meditation. I attempted to explain this in the beginning. I've been asked so many times for this and other similar videos and have pointed out that it really needs to be face-to-face. I appreciate your comments please feel free to message me in a new message to suggest content sometimes I don't get to replies so it's best to start a new message hope you are okay and thanks for the constructive comment
Thank you so much. I really do love your work and appreciate your reply.
Thank you so much I also appreciate your comment the topic of trauma is extremely challenging to work through and up to now I haven’t agreed with doing it online as each experience and set of triggers is so very different and the journey to healing is different I really appreciate the input I have been doing more and more reading in this area about how to provide appropriate supportive therapy… Supportive therapy being generalised therapy rather than specific one on one professional therapy… You made very good suggestions thank you
I had to kill it before responding to your well worded response. My husband and I both had to talk long and hard about this one and agreed it was horrible to handle . Telling me things over and over real slow does not help . This is not a Pryor ,Wilder movie speaking slowly and repeating did not work on them either lol.
Hey, keep being a voice. You might enjoy this channel 👉 #drjohnaking. I find him informative, yet down to earth.
Thank you Laura