My husband and I moved a lot after he graduated college. 7 years of living out of state away from family and friends. I feel the same way about my past and nostalgia. I think theres a dissociative and detached side when you live out of state and move…you have to otherwise you would cry and miss people every day. Definitely a coping mechanism. Living so presently, without trying to reminisce on my past and not be too future oriented, because we didn’t know where we would be…created many chapters in my life while almost feeling allusive to who i was becoming in a now stable environment.
We love you, Carrie, and the reason we understand is because we all go through these feelings, as well. I will be 60 in 2 months and I still go through this. In my mind, I am still 25. My body is starting to make noises when I get up (LOL) but my face is holding up well due to lotions and potions! Nostalgia hits us all no matter how many years we are away from it. Just remember we wouldn't really want to revisit those years. Time seems to take away the edge that they had. There is a reason you are a better version of YOU now. Live and learn is not just a saying. It is what we do if we are smart and lucky. xoxo
This is so natural!! I'm 61, still feel like a kid. Shocked when classmates and friends started dying. Lost my dad. Yet there is a sweetness still to every moment. It's not easy. But it's natural, all your feelings
I have bouts of these excessive „nostalgia“ dives too… always starts light and then becomes completely over the top to the point where I kind of forget who I am NOW. Then I realize how detached, how weird and lost I feel and that‘s usually when I force myself to STOP. But I get the nostalgia-melancholy feeling you‘re describing. I hope you‘re able to work things out soon ❤️ Your videos always make me smile.
@@tessalynn8652 I really get this too. Even when Carrie was explaining it I was yes, yes, and yes. I totally get it. I call it a weird nostalgic funk that I get into every few years. It's almost like grieving the loss of your old self or something for me.
I feel this so hard. The quote from the office “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them” really sums this up for me. Sending you so many warm thoughts and peace ❤️
That's my favorite quote from The Office. From the Series Finale. Really hit me hard when I saw that clip again recently. I've been feeling the same way lately.
I hear you. Although I happen to be 66. Yesterday I was 35. My kids were 8 and 10 and now they're 40 and 42. What the hell? Where did my life go? Did I actually do anything with it?? Those are the times when I know I am not actually present in my life. I am stuck in mourning for the past. Well, that's when awareness/consciousness kicks me awake again. I'm not there, I'm here. All those precious moments have all led me to here, and I really, really like who I am now. Frankly, back then I had a huge lack of self confidence and was a people pleaser. I am a much healthier person now. And since I will only continue to get older, the important and necessary thing to do is to stay in the here and now and LIVE my life as it happens, until I'm done. I like to remind myself, "Be where your feet are" when I'm succumbing to unhealthy nostalgia. Because I'm not there. I'm here. I plant my awareness right into my feet. Hang in there, girl. Everything passes. Nothing ever stays the same. Life is a movement. Waves and winds. You got this. Awareness is the key. ❤
I love this. I'm 50 with grown kids as well and I related to your comment so much. It's easy to get trapped in the "where has the time gone" loop and miss out on the good things happening currently. ❤️
Almost 65 here and you hit the nail on the head. Nostalgia is natural and tempting to indulge in, but when it's causing actual pain, it's time to plant your feet on the earth and follow the suggestion of Ram Dass: Be here now.
Im 52, and listening to her thinking how at her age I didn't give the past or the future any thought. Now I'm in that stage where my friends *and my dates* have gray hair, some are retiring, some have died. That escalated quickly. How did I get here? I lived my life, and I will continue to live as long as time lets me. It is weird for everyone, I imagine.
Thank you so much for this. I am a single mum at 42 and my son is still little and I often struggle and wish he was older and more self reliant already. But then I imagine I am in my sixties and he will have left the house and will be living his own life and I will be longing for the days when he was with me. So I am trying to remind myself to live in the moment and enjoy it. Your words mean so much to me!
My brother and I call it “crippling nostalgia.” We go back and forth all the time about even the smallest things like 90’s computer games. It gets so bad that your heart hurts for that sort of pureness and comfort. Very common for our generation I think!
completely agree. its actually a super common experience, and definitely for our generation. its a weird experience because we feel very often like “ourselves” but when you see younger people, its a reminder that we are getting older and that we will never have those experiences at an age such as that. im sure it’s magnified by your career field because you’re seeing those younger generations and there is nostalgia in those experiences.
Just like you said that social media is a highlight reel, I think when we think about the past we mostly tend to fixate on all the good and don't remember the bad as much. That helps give me perspective whenever I start romanticizing the past - every season of my life has been "normal" and has felt like today. Its only because I'm looking back at only the good times that I feel nostalgic for it
Damn what a wise thing to say. I’m 21 but I remember when I was 13-14 and I could come back home and play fantasy video games in my room, it felt like my own little world and I miss that feeling of immersion and exploration. But like you say I also remember how difficult it was for me to feel comfortable and confident outside my house and I realized this was part of what made my inner world special. It was nice but I definitely wouldn’t trade it for feeling confident and comfortable in my daily life now.
i feel EXACTLY the same when it comes to nostalgia! like you, i’ve had different friends etc for every stage of my life and i still mourn the loss of them even though we did just grow apart. i miss the past but the past was also terrible at the time and i really struggle with that! sending you so much love 💖
I feel this so much!! There are so many times when I think back on memories, and try to hold on to them, and realize that I’ll never experience them ever again. It’s like you said, growing older is a blessing and a privilege! But, those “simpler” times are so intoxicating to think about!
I really relate to what you’re saying about nostalgia. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about it, but I’ll just say that you’re not alone. The “algia” part of nostalgia literally means “pain.” I do feel a physical pain when I think about my childhood 😔 especially since my parents don’t live in my hometown anymore and I won’t go back there. It really sucks.
hearing you talk about your recent headspace made me cry, because i've been feeling the same way and haven't been able to find the words to describe it either. i've been hit with waves of grief over the past, my old life, and especially over people who were in my life or who i was close to. it completely ruins my day and has been happening more and more often lately and it's so hard to pull myself out of it. i really appreciate you talking about this and opening up this discussion in the comments, because it's so nice to see i'm not alone. it helps so much. sending you all the love, i hope you can find some peace. 💚
I relate SO much with what you said about nostalgia, I’m 33 btw. I don’t have any advice or anything, but you’re absolutely not alone in how you’re feeling. Also, when your kohls ad pops up while I’m watching TH-cam it always puts a smile on my face.
I relate to this so much. I’ve been hyper aware of the passage of time and me becoming a different person in different phases, ever since I was about 12/13. I’m 28 now and I’m getting better at accepting the passage of time but this is soooo relatable to me and I appreciate you speaking about this.
Feel this so hard. I’m 31 and my mom passed away last year. Since then I’ve had to cut off contact with my dad (for now at least) for decisions he made after her death. I’m essentially mourning the loss of two parents, and I have done similar nostalgia dives to feel connected to myself and to my memories with them. But it can be so heart wrenching. Love what your friend said about being in a better and safer place to process things from our pasts. I certainly feel that way about my own nostalgia weirdness, but it’s still hard. Hang in there Carrie!
Totally relate. When I get sad about never being a kid again or missing the past, I remind myself that I also don’t have to go through the hard parts or those dark times again and that there are so many amazing things that I haven’t experienced yet. I also have the tendency to look at the past with rose colored glasses, so sometimes I have to remember that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
I feel like part of it is that when we're younger there's always something coming next. Learning to drive, graduating high school, college, work, figuring it out. So we cherish these little moments that seem like nothing like sitting in a car or a favorite song or your best friends bedroom because they were the break in between the madness of it all. Now as we're older and in our 30s life is a little more established but also more aimless especially without kids so no milestones. Without the milestones the minutiae is more constant and less special. And now those moments with a favorite song or whatever are sometimes by ourselves because we don't have the same constant in person access to our friends because life is in the way. Idk. But also definitely a Hyper fixation thing. Last year I could literally feel it in my chest for weeks when I had to get a different car after mine broke down and I missed my old car. Like WHAT.
I feel you on that, I get genuinely sad when I think about the inevitability of my best friend getting rid of their old car, despite it being very old and having lots of issues. Like why it's not even my car.
Once in a while I’ll have a dream of my kids when they were little (they are 15 and 13 now) and it will send me down a depressive spiral for weeks, sometimes months. Just knowing I’ll never see them like that in real life ever again, and the knowledge that they will only change more as time passes. Nothing ever stops changing, so yeah, we all understand. This was very relatable.
Thank you, Carrie, for voicing your thoughts and being so transparent. I’ve been dealing with many of the same thoughts and for some reason knowing that someone on the other side of the world is going through a similar phase in their life calms me down. Much love to you from Finland! 💞
When you said I will never live with my dad again. That got me I’m going through that transition where I haven’t lived home in 2 years and I miss seeing my dad whenever and knowing all about his life. I wish I could tell my younger self to savor it.
I have a saved photo of my grandma's house on google maps just in case they ever update it and it's not her car in the driveway and her friends bikes in the backyard. I relate so hard to everything you said about nostalgia. Sometimes I think about being a kid doing homework after school and it makes me so sad that that life is gone forever. Not that I want to be doing homework again but you know.
I resonate so much with this. I'm 36, I've recently lost my grandparents, my dogs are 12 and 10, I'm married and not having children, and am going through such massive waves of nostalgia. I'll keep myself up all night reading old LiveJournal (lol) posts, going through photos, etc to the point that I'm not nostalgic, I feel homesick for a place/time I can no longer be in. I too moved around a lot, had childhood trauma and am working with a professional and also likened it to processing that. I also think it's because there aren't a lot of major, core memory style new experiences at this age. I feel like I am where I am now and need to settle into that but want those teen experiences back. I guess it's all part of aging, especially when you're working on your mental health and are more self aware. Not sure if you'll see this now but you're certainly not alone in it, from one "elder millenial" to another ❤️
Just know that nostalgic feeling will never go away, and one day in your 50's, you'll back and be nostalgic for the 30's Carrie, and so forth and so on. You'll miss the current you one day too.
Thank you for sharing this. I was literally JUST sobbing to my boyfriend last night about how I miss the past, and who I used to be, and how happy I used to feel. The last 2 years have really done a number on me, and all of us. This helped me not feel so alone. I’m hoping I can find a new version of myself that’s happy, and I’m sending you the warmest of vibes ☀️❤️
Was definitely going through this the other day! I've experienced it quite often. Sometimes I wonder how different of s person I couldn't been then if I knew then what I know now. Or wonder how i could've used my age to mu advantage, or feeling like I missed opportunities . . . But then I have to remember to stay present and realize there are always opportunities to grow. Past memories can be so beautiful to relive and sometimes painful . . . It can be hard not to get stuck in nostalgia ! I am glad you are feeling better and glad I'm not the only one.
I totally can understand where you’re coming from!! We kind of grieve our old selves sometimes. But what helps me is thinking about my mental state and my happiness back then vs now, and how much I’ve grown, and continue to grow. And those changes help me to be happy where I’m at!
My brother passed away 18 years ago and I randomly stilll go through phases where I have to look at pictures of us and hold his stuffies. I still feel him with me every day. It’s so hard. Also the early 2000s were so much more “innocent” and happy for a lot of us than current times. It’s heavy to really touch base with those nostalgic times and come back to the present. It’s such a juxtaposition
I can relate to these deep nostalgia feelings. Going through old posts, looking up apartments I used to live in on Zillow, reading old journals, etc. I do wonder if millennials and gen z are feeling a bit of “premature” nostalgia because many of us feel like the future is very uncertain (speaking from an American perspective, because the political climate of the country is so chaotic).
Carrie, I can’t thank you enough for sharing. What you were saying really struck a nerve with me. The older I get, the more I reflect on my past and really dwell on the elements that I miss or regret. The fact that you are so raw and honest and don’t just give us your contrived ‘highlight reel’ is the reason I love you so much. I don’t think I will ever stop feeling 16, like you!
I’m sorry you’re going through this but also I’m glad you chose to share it. I go through this to and always thought I was a little bit weird when I go through depression episodes that I feel are self caused because they start light and happy then I spiral into wondering “what am I doing with my life?”and “where did the old me go?”. They always get better but you’re definitely not alone girl and as much as I feel bad you’re going through it. It is nice to know we are not alone.
Sending you so many hugs, Carrie! I think we’ve all been there. Thank you so much for always being so open and honest. You sharing these feelings is so vulnerable, but you’ve definitely helped so many, including myself, feel validated and not alone. Ride those ebbs and flows, bestie 💖
I'm constantly looking up old addresses and wishing that my family had taken more pictures of the inside and during holidays. I'd be so happy just to have a picture of my childhood kitchen, that's how bad it is 😂 I'll get nostalgic over photos from 3-5 years ago even. If anything, it's been a good reminder to document things, take more pictures, take videos, save voicemails from family and just soak everything in now for your future self to look back on
Feel this so much. Especially after losing people close to me, I go through this for a while ! It’s tough for sure ! But grateful for being here and the love I’ve experienced
I relate 100% to all of this. I do it all too. I think, at least for me, I notice that I start to get overwhelmed by deep feelings of nostalgia during times of transition once I am in a safer space, because once safety has been restored, my brain has a moment to start processing the grief associated with transition and change. Even if the change and transition is positive, there will always be a layer of grief with any form of loss, and a transition means letting go of the past to embrace the new future, and there is still loss in that! Be gentle with yourself! Have the feels!
I have this SAME feeling of nostalgia every time I have a life change. The move to LA may have triggered this. You’re starting a new path which is making you reflect on your past. When I start dreaming of my past or am triggered in some way and start feeling this nostalgia I know that I need to stay away from looking at old videos, pictures, and actively distract myself when the thoughts come in. So easy to get in a sad mindset when I give in to these thoughts and start looking at old photos of my old life :) Keep up with the therapy and friend chats, you’re doing the right things and you’re doing great and also…. You are definitely not alone in thinking this way!!
Love you, Carrie! I’m glad you and Drew are safe after those situations. I admire that you were able to still have fun at Disneyland after those two occurrences. That’s something that I have been struggling with lately-being present.
I can so relate. I think as we get older we definitely think about how things were and who's not in our life anymore. I lost my sister in March and I've been thinking a lot of my past. It's part of the grieving process but I'm like you I can hear a song and just ugly cry, sometimes you just need that. Thanks for sharing!!
I have been struggling with adhd stuff so much and it has messed things up a lot in my life but my therapist says it’s my current environment. Your videos help me so much because I don’t feel alone in the struggle. Thank you Carrie. Truly.
You're definitely not alone! I'm 39. I have been thinking back when I first turned 30 and how different my life was then compared to now. I immediately was sad because I missed the old me but she also went through some really tough shit that made me into more of who I am now and I wouldn't change it for anything It's definitely a one day at a time thing. Each day you get a little better. ❤️
Wow. It is SO reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one that *obsesses* over the past. Omg. I feel so much at peace. I know exactly where you’re coming from. And with the dreams too!! I’ve been having more vivid dreams that make me rethink things recently
I feel this sooo hard. I'm 26 and feel the same way, and find myself looking at old pictures, old addresses, etc. Reminiscing on how simple things used to be and just how much fun I used to have in high school with friends and before I kinda "grew up." My relationships with my parents were so much better and I truly miss that (they're now divorced and one lives on the other side of the world so things are so different). I think now we're also so aware of all the shitty things in the world, which at least for me was never really a factor (and I know I'm lucky to be able to say that). Everything is more complicated, stressful, and busy and I do miss my old self. All that to say - you're not alone!!
This video is actually way more helpful than you know. Esp for those of us who are growing up & it feels so surreal? Like I’m 26 now, feels literally like just yesterday I graduated HS. I 1000000% understand the obsession with nostalgia, & I feel the absolute same like you can’t control the spiral sometimes. Like knowing your parents one day won’t be here, never getting to live with your sibling again, seeing you pets / family / friends / get old, it is so hard : , ( thank you for being so open 🤍
Carrie - 10000000% YES. You have this uncanny ability of posting videos that DIRECTLY relate to what I'm going through. Also in my early 30s here, and for me idk if it's these long summer days or the fact that I was bored so decided to look through old family photos & the nostalgia has been hitting HARD. It's so funny because I thought it would be uplifting and happy, and instead I kind of felt this painful sadness like you mentioned of never reliving those moments. I couldn't believe when you mentioned zillow because I decided to look up all the old places I used to live and then went down an even deeper rabbit hole and looked up the houses where my parents grew up, my parents first house after they got married, etc. and it was wild. Also an HSP/empath here and been having crazy dreams. Not sure what that's about! But your video made me feel less alone, so thank you. BTW also the 2nd strange gas station story I heard today - wth is going on?? LOL
I’m 32. I just recently lost my grandmother. She was my last grandparent making my own mother now the grandparent generation if that makes sense and myself the “adult” generation. I’ve been in a funk and I completely, whole-heartedly resonate with what you’re saying & how you’re feeling. Thank-you so much for touching on this subject and allowing what I’m feeling to be put into words bc I was having trouble finding the words to describe what I was feeling. I stopped watching YT for a while and have rly missed your videos. Glad to be watching again. ❤️
Same Carrie! I feel you. I see my kids grow and I miss them as babies and hate the fact they never got to meet my grandparents. Then I tell them how they were and what their favorite foods were. And I’ll just cry. I have anxiety, depression, and ocd so I get you. Thanks for speaking out on all these random feelings.
Can relate to the nostalgia. Especially because every time I leave the house or make a plan it’s keeping Covid in mind. I long for the days of not having to worry about that. Just doing the thing and not worrying. And the cost of everything is going up. It feels like you have to work 10xs harder and can’t “relax” or “have fun” without being concerned over finances. I don’t remember all these worries in my early 20s
From the moment you said you were “nostalgic for past me”, I sobbed. I relate to all of this. I just turned 37 and I miss all the old chapters of my life and I often wonder if anything will ever feel as good again.
I used to do this with social media in a huge way, but in retrospect for me personally, it wasn’t healthy and it was making me really sad. Again speaking only for myself here, but it’s not good or healthy for me to have easy access to that stuff. I deleted all my social media gradually over a couple of years (FB in 2017, Insta in 2020, and finally Twitter at the beginning of this year) and it’s made a huge difference in my mental health. My experience tells me that I’m meant to forget stuff. It’s good for me to lose touch with people and for old memories to become hazy. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s better for me to have fuzzy recollections of past times that I can look back on with fondness than easy access to all my thoughts, feelings and experiences that distract me from living my life now. This goes for good times and bad, people I’ve cared about and those I didn’t. It’s all the past, I can learn from it and look back with nostalgia but can’t carry it with me in detail. It’s too much and it’s only compounding as the years go by!
I feel you so so much. Im “only” 25, but this past year i have been feeling those exact feelings you are describing, and just feeling like “where did my life go? I remember being 15 like it was yesterday!” Also feeling like I’m running out of time, feeling scared that I am wasting my life and not enjoying my life enough. It’s weird and really hard, actually, but it helps to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.
It’s so nice to hear someone else vocalize things that I felt so alone with. Getting older is a privilege. Nostalgia oftentimes makes me sad. But I think it’s important to be grateful for your past because it built the person you are today (& you’re great!). I miss part of my old selves, but know that life is a journey and we’re constantly changing. Just be intentional about your growth :)
OMG CARRIE!!!!!! I feel like I've been going through this for so long!!! I feel like I'm stuck in it!!!! I've never had someone explain it so perfectly!!!!!
I completely get this! Knowing you're a better person now doesn't help fight the feeling. I know exactly how you're feeling and it really hits hard sometimes. You're not alone and we'll get thru it. I recommend talking to a therapist. It helps a lot. Getting older (I'm 31), I'm realizing a lot of traumatic events from my childhood that I didn't realize was the way it was and it's hard to get thru it by myself. Hopefully knowing you're not alone helps 💕
I have these moments, and, from a place of love / NOT shaming on myself, i have to say 'nope. that's a lack of gratitude for what i have now' its exactly what you said... hyper fixation. Important not to let it mask as nostalgia or positive reminiscence. you got it, Carrie!
Thank you for sharing this.. I’ve felt this a lot- and the different chapters about moving.. i 100000% feel that. Everyone has different friend groups as they age, but it’s so different when you live in such different places. I moved to TN from AZ in high school and to look at myself and my friends and see how different they are is SO odd. The stark differences makes it truly feel like different chapters and sometimes different books.
I completely avoid looking back at old pictures or through social media because I don't want to confront the feelings you describe. I was panicking about the aging thing for a couple weeks recently and couldn't shake it - parents getting older, pets getting older, my appearance changing, having so many responsibilities, etc. The crying fits around that have passed but I don't think those feelings will go away unless we can stop time. Thanks for being open with us ❤️
you're absolutely not alone. i'm a pretty self aware person & i'm constantly in my head -- i become overwhelmingly nostalgic many times a year. i do the same things, i will re-read old messages, look at old pictures, want to message people i used to talk to that i don't anymore reminiscing memories. its rough. i'm not sure what triggers it or makes it eventually go away -- but it definitely ebbs & flows in my life. hang in there - if i'm not careful, i can go down a super dark road thinking how i'll never get the past 33 years of my life back...
I am in the same boat as your right now and I always get that high off of nostalgia. I have a 4year old daughter and when she watches disney movies that I watched as a kid, I will literally start tearing up. Songs and movies bring me back to a different time. I think being in your 30s make you realize how fast life goes by and this is why we are thinking of these things. It's a very bitter/sweet feeling
I’ve literally been feeling this EXACT same way the past few weeks. It’s been horrible! I’m trying to do everything I can to push past it because I know it’ll pass, but it’s definitely hard. You’re not alone love!!!
Carrie-. I'm a manicurist for 30+ years. One thing that I have learned over the years working on clients from 3-101... our outside body changes, but our inside we have sooo much in common. Nostalgia sets in when we have history, and we have so many ways to connect with our past through the internet. Just take a deep breathe, smile and thank your experiences for getting you to where you are today! It's all about the half full/half empty thing💕😜😃
Thank you Carrie for sharing your inner most personal thoughts with us. I am recently going through a mental health crisis and I am also having similar thoughts of what you have been experiencing. I have been reminiscing about the past, my childhood/ teenage years and how times were so much simpler before. It almost feels that things were way better before comparing to now. I am turning 32 in August and it feels like time is just flying by. I am also feeling pressure due to societal expectations of settling down (career, marriage, having children, and buying a home). It truly feels overwhelming and lonely sometimes. I really enjoy your sit down videos sharing your thoughts/ experiences. I would like to thank for this because it makes me feel less lonely ❤️
Something that helps me is remembering how anxious and sad I was during those times and even tho there were good moments, where I’m at right now I’m SO much more stable and better but I’m used to the chaos and unpredictability so that’s what I “miss” but if I think about it I’d NEVER want to actually go live w my mom again or etc you know? Just try to picture yourself older and looking back to where you are now and how you’d miss that too :)
I was going through this exactly same not too long ago. I feel like I had no time to process my trauma because I never felt safe. Now that I feel safe and I'm not engaging in those flight or fight behaviors, I feel so deeply sad for that little girl and the woman who had to deal with incredible trauma. I'm processing those feelings and it gets heavy. Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt alone in my grief and now I don't so thank you so much 💗
I'm so glad you shared this because truly in my late 20s I'm constantly having these waves of mourning my past self and going down photo rabbit holes from my past and wondering, "Where did she go?" I will say too that I moved A LOT growing up and still as an adult move around a lot, and I think those experiences make us sensitive to loss because there's so much newness all the time. I feel you so so much! ❤️
carrie, i just recently went through photos from high school that i hadn't seen in so long. i suppressed so many things that happened in high school because i just wanted to move past it but sometimes sitting with that version of yourself feels comforting in a way. remembering what it was like to be in that headspace. knowing so much more now. it feels like lifetimes ago
This is so relatable, I've been in a very similar phase myself, it's so bizarre to miss that part of yourself and look back on it with more rose colored glasses and then remember all the difficult parts as well. Totally a rollercoaster of emotions. ❤️❤️
I ABSOLUTELY relate to what you are saying about yearning for the past. I'm 32 years old and it feels like high school was just yesterday. I get sad often thinking about how I will never live with my mom again and get a little angry at myself for not realizing how special that time was because I was so anxious to move on with my life. I believe that this is 100 percent normal and is just part of accepting the aging process. Our society focuses too much on outer beauty and aging, and doesn't always talk about the emotional impact of aging. It is so hard to just sit with uncomfortable emotions but it is also so healing to do so. Sending you lots of love and know that you are NOT alone.
I do the same thing! Like miss it so deeply even though things are so great right now.. it's bizarre. I think it has a lot to do with being close to certain people that I'm not close with anymore and as I get older that number of people is dwindling. I just don't have those close friendships anymore and I'll never have a close friend that was there with me through all the stuff during highschool etc which is sad.
My husband and I go through this too!! I've went through this ever since I was little and it's an every day occurrence. It can be a good thing (remembering certain memories) and sad too. You are definitely not alone with these type of feelings.
Neurodivergent people do feel nostalgia more deeply! I go on these weird nostalgic spirals every so often. I'm sure its part of the emotional disregulation with ADHD and its like you have this intense link to specific times in your life. Its madness. I'm 40 next year, how the actual fudge has this happened?! 😳 😫😱
I love your natural lashes! I have red hair so all of my lashes and brows are essentially clear lol. It’s taken me YEARS to embrace my light features and even dare go out without brows and mascara but finally in my mid 20s I’ve started to learn to go out in them and it’s made me feel a lot more stress free and myself even though I still have days I don’t like the way I look.
I’m not usually one to comment on TH-cam posts or any posts really, but I felt drawn to this time! Thank you so much for sharing! I thought I was alone in the nostalgia binging of old memories and videos and places. I will sit there and make myself cry from looking at old memories and old times. So thank you for putting it into words better than I could! I love your content and you as a person! I feel like your a big sister or a good older friend! So thank you for everything! Know your appreciated out there! Hope your doing well and sending you a lot of love back 💚
I am 32 and have been SUPER nostalgic lately! Same things... looking at old pictures, listening to old songs that take me back... it's wild how much things have changed. I wish I could go back ALL the time and appreciate it more. I think there really is something about thinking back to more simple times. Today the world can be crazy. Stay strong girlfriend. Thanks for always posting
I can totally relate. My particular brand of nostalgia is rooted in some insecurities about the things that have changed more than actually being in a better place previously - like you previous me was a lot less aware and empathetic, but some of the changes have not been welcome too.
Carrriiiiieeeee I feel you so much. I am the same about nostalgia. I'm learning that it's okay to miss the past, grieve it and cherish the melancholic moments. When I don't acknowledge it and let myself feel, I become more tempted to live out the past in an unhealthy way that keeps me stuck, or try to zoom into the future which brings up anxiety - if that makes sense haha.
I found your channel in 2020 and last week I was binge watching your crazy story times. It is amazing to see your growth! I've heard people say that timelines are overlapping. I always recommend sending the past you(or your younger self) love. Send young Carrie all the love she was in need of, talk to her and cheer her on. Sending the current Carrie and the young Carrie hugs & love ❤️
Oh girl your not alone. I always go back a look at old pictures and old videos and it makes me so sad. Especially when I look at my kids baby pictures. It really gets me.
this is why you are my favorite youtuber. You have such a wise and interesting internal life and I'm glad you share when you can. I can absolutely relate to your nostalgia and the many chapters of life. How can I get all those versions of me back now? People dying, times changing, different jobs, homes, lives, etc. You're so not alone hahaha. I do this with youtube videos of all my old bands and I barely play music anymore.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼 I think as we get older we are reminded by life how quickly time can pass and holding on to the memories and things that have curated our lives and made us *us*, becomes really important ❤️
You’re absolutely not alone. Nostalgia is normal, even when it’s painful. I think you also have to remember that you’re remembering a curated past, you felt the same lows, maybe worse than you feel now. It wasn’t all good then, and yet you remember it so beautifully. There’s hope for today to be just as beautiful.
You're definitely not alone! I think it often hits us when we make big changes too and we're dealing with processing it. My friendship with a long time best friend recently ended and then I reconnected with an older best friend even more recently and I've been in the same headspace. Wild dreams processing all these changes lol.
35yo right here and I understand your feelings of nostalgia. I myself have moved a lot being a military brat and I don’t have a physical childhood home to go back to. All but one of my grandparents have passed away and now I have 2 kids that I am watching grow in front of my eyes. I gauge the timeline of my life by theirs now which is so weird. I’m not who I was but I love who I am. I look forward to what is to come with excitement and look back with gratitude ❤️
A few months ago, I was decluttering my clothes and all of the sudden I felt this sadness for the person I was and I’m not anymore and starting sobbing on top of my pile of clothes, and I also tend to feel nostalgic and go back to look at photos, playlists, videos from past chapters in my life. So you are definitely not alone! ❤️❤️ It can also mean you are starting your new chapter and a new version of you, and your subconscious is saying goodbye to the old you and is ready for the next thing🙏❤️ I am glad you are feeling better now 🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
I related so much to the looking up previous addresses and old Facebook posts. I get instantly sucked into memories and then have to bring myself back to the present and remind myself I’m better off now. But I do agree with your friend who said it’s probably because you feel safe to revisit those things. I just this last year finally felt together and in a good place and that’s when the nostalgia really picked up. Also these last few years have just screwed with my perception of time. Especially when it first started we were meant to believe it would only last a short time and now it’s almost 3 years later with no real end in sight. But all that to say I feel exactly the same and am a therapist so it’s completely “normal” to feel this way ! Wish you all the luck and happiness though these tough times :)
The way I needed to hear this SO much to know that I am not the only person who feels like this. A big thing I’ve noticed recently is that my friends act way older than we are and I just have moments where I have emotionally broke down about the fact that I am YOUNG and my life is just passing by and I get nostalgic for times when I truly enjoyed being a young teen or something like that. Like you said, it’s almost impossible to put into words and I feel like when I try to talk about it people get confused lol
You saying that you’re nostalgic for a past you and feel like you’ve lost parts of yourself along the way, even though you’ve done so much healing and growing over the years really hit home for me. I think back to past versions of myself and feel like those were the versions of me that were the most me, where I felt the most like myself. But then I have to remember that I’m mourning versions of myself who didn’t know how to enforce boundaries, and carried the burdens of others too strongly, and didn’t know how to stand up for myself. So when I start to feel like I’ve lost myself over the years, I just have to remind myself that it’s not a loss. I might not feel like my fullest self sometimes because I was that person for so long, but that I am the best version of myself, for myself, now.
I feel so connected to what you’re speaking about, from a different side of the cube. A lot of change is coming and I’m scared. I’m about to graduate college, my immediate family is moving across the country and I’ll be going with them post graduation, also going through a rough rough break up. The impending future is also making me feel nostalgic. By moving so far, I uproot everything I’ve ever known, and the potential for rekindling relationships with people is lost. I don’t feel ready to create that next chapter, not knowing if the new chapter will hurt me as much as the past. They always say you have to do things before you’re ready, otherwise you’ll never do it, and that’s where faith comes it. But no matter where we are in our lives, I think we could all use a little more giving grace to ourselves.
I have totally been having a rough year + with mourning my past/my “youth”. I am about to turn 33 and my friends have all gotten married, and some have had kids within the last few years and it’s thrown me for a freaking loop! I think it’s totally normal to be sad that certain parts of your life are over and tbh with all the shit going on in the world now I’ve been struggling with having hope for/looking forward to the future. You are not alone.
I totally feel you. I’m turning 49 in a few days and the older I get the harder it feels sometimes to “grow old gracefully”. I, like you, am so thankful for every day that I’m given, but some days I really miss the carefree me, the easy to love me, etc. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Your vlogs always bring joy to my day🫶🏼❤️
I feel you so hard on the nostalgia thing. you are absolutely not alone - and the thing you said about living so many different lifetimes in one life is a thought I’ve had so much! it’s honestly kind of scary and sad. in counseling I feel like I’ve been reconnecting with my younger self though, and it has been really healing for me. 💕
Carrie I’m so glad you’re talking about this. I’ve recently been going through similar mental health issues as well. It feels a lot better knowing I’m not alone in my struggle. I don’t know why, but that’s kind of comforting.
I feel you totally. I went through a similar period this year too, and periodically. I drove past my childhood home, walked around (they bulldozed it and it’s now a park), went through my Facebook, tagged myself in friend’s photos of me, hung out with high school friends… I miss old me, too. Maybe someday I’ll be looking at the time now with nostalgia. Thank you for being open!!!
OMG CARRIE! I’m so happy you said you knew it was also related to ADHD, cuz as soon as you said you felt nostalgia on an *intense* level I was like omg dude it’s the ADHD! I think what a loooot of people don’t understand is that it’s a *mood* disorder, and when we feel intense feelings, our brains literally don’t know how to process them, and so we get overwhelmed and executive functioning just goes out the window. I know you’ve already said you feel better and you know you’ve gone through this before (so you know how to take care of yourself) but this is the #1 thing that I take adhd meds for. Even more than an ssri (for depression) a stimulant (for adhd) regulates my emotions *SO WELL* and prevents me from becoming lost in the ocean of any one emotion. Take care of yourself hunni😘 us adhd adults really are learning our brains all over again💗
Thank you for sharing this, I’m going through this right now too and I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m a new mom and keep finding myself dwelling about the past. Spending lots of headspace time reflecting on my time in high school and college. Kinda feeling like I wish I could go back in time. I’ve been trying to shake this now for almost a year and just feeling stuck. I also have been on Zillow and looking at the exact same thing! Nostalgia also effects me deeply and I can’t put my finger on why this is happening. Just going to keep riding this wave and see where it takes me. I try to remember that we remember the good memories more than the bad. 💕
i described this to my psychiatrist as I've been running for so long and so fast and so far that i never thought about what would happen if i stopped. If I felt safe, and secure and balanced in life and what that would actually mean for my mental health especially my ADHD. And she said when I stopped distracting myself or giving into the impulses my brain actually had a moment to process what i had been doing while i was moving so fast. And that hits you all at once and can be devastating. So grateful to know that we're not alone in this and that there's a light at the end of the very long tunnel
Feeling SO much better since I filmed this (almost back to normal!), and I'm sooo happy I decided to open up about it. You all are the best 💞
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My husband and I moved a lot after he graduated college. 7 years of living out of state away from family and friends. I feel the same way about my past and nostalgia. I think theres a dissociative and detached side when you live out of state and move…you have to otherwise you would cry and miss people every day. Definitely a coping mechanism. Living so presently, without trying to reminisce on my past and not be too future oriented, because we didn’t know where we would be…created many chapters in my life while almost feeling allusive to who i was becoming in a now stable environment.
We love you, Carrie, and the reason we understand is because we all go through these feelings, as well. I will be 60 in 2 months and I still go through this. In my mind, I am still 25. My body is starting to make noises when I get up (LOL) but my face is holding up well due to lotions and potions! Nostalgia hits us all no matter how many years we are away from it. Just remember we wouldn't really want to revisit those years. Time seems to take away the edge that they had. There is a reason you are a better version of YOU now. Live and learn is not just a saying. It is what we do if we are smart and lucky. xoxo
We all go through this, your friend is totally right about why this is happening. You’ll get through it fine 😎 sending hugs 🥰
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This is so natural!! I'm 61, still feel like a kid. Shocked when classmates and friends started dying. Lost my dad. Yet there is a sweetness still to every moment. It's not easy. But it's natural, all your feelings
i’m sorry for your loss. this was beautifully put ❤️
@@m93733 aww thank you.
I have bouts of these excessive „nostalgia“ dives too… always starts light and then becomes completely over the top to the point where I kind of forget who I am NOW. Then I realize how detached, how weird and lost I feel and that‘s usually when I force myself to STOP. But I get the nostalgia-melancholy feeling you‘re describing. I hope you‘re able to work things out soon ❤️ Your videos always make me smile.
THIS! You described it perfectly. Thank you for sharing these kind words with me 💞
Wow, nail on head! I get this.
@@tessalynn8652 I really get this too. Even when Carrie was explaining it I was yes, yes, and yes. I totally get it. I call it a weird nostalgic funk that I get into every few years. It's almost like grieving the loss of your old self or something for me.
Same
Absolutely agree!
I feel this so hard. The quote from the office “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them” really sums this up for me. Sending you so many warm thoughts and peace ❤️
Oooh that choked me up. So true! Maybe we SHOULD be living like right now is the good ol' days? 💝
This are the good old days. Trust me.
Yes. I always refer to this quote.
That's my favorite quote from The Office. From the Series Finale. Really hit me hard when I saw that clip again recently. I've been feeling the same way lately.
I hear you. Although I happen to be 66. Yesterday I was 35. My kids were 8 and 10 and now they're 40 and 42. What the hell? Where did my life go? Did I actually do anything with it??
Those are the times when I know I am not actually present in my life. I am stuck in mourning for the past.
Well, that's when awareness/consciousness kicks me awake again. I'm not there, I'm here. All those precious moments have all led me to here, and I really, really like who I am now. Frankly, back then I had a huge lack of self confidence and was a people pleaser. I am a much healthier person now. And since I will only continue to get older, the important and necessary thing to do is to stay in the here and now and LIVE my life as it happens, until I'm done. I like to remind myself, "Be where your feet are" when I'm succumbing to unhealthy nostalgia. Because I'm not there. I'm here. I plant my awareness right into my feet.
Hang in there, girl. Everything passes. Nothing ever stays the same. Life is a movement. Waves and winds. You got this. Awareness is the key. ❤
I love this. I'm 50 with grown kids as well and I related to your comment so much. It's easy to get trapped in the "where has the time gone" loop and miss out on the good things happening currently. ❤️
I relate too, I’m 62. I’m trying to learn mindfulness, living in the now.
Almost 65 here and you hit the nail on the head. Nostalgia is natural and tempting to indulge in, but when it's causing actual pain, it's time to plant your feet on the earth and follow the suggestion of Ram Dass: Be here now.
Im 52, and listening to her thinking how at her age I didn't give the past or the future any thought. Now I'm in that stage where my friends *and my dates* have gray hair, some are retiring, some have died. That escalated quickly. How did I get here? I lived my life, and I will continue to live as long as time lets me. It is weird for everyone, I imagine.
Thank you so much for this. I am a single mum at 42 and my son is still little and I often struggle and wish he was older and more self reliant already. But then I imagine I am in my sixties and he will have left the house and will be living his own life and I will be longing for the days when he was with me. So I am trying to remind myself to live in the moment and enjoy it. Your words mean so much to me!
My brother and I call it “crippling nostalgia.” We go back and forth all the time about even the smallest things like 90’s computer games. It gets so bad that your heart hurts for that sort of pureness and comfort. Very common for our generation I think!
completely agree. its actually a super common experience, and definitely for our generation. its a weird experience because we feel very often like “ourselves” but when you see younger people, its a reminder that we are getting older and that we will never have those experiences at an age such as that. im sure it’s magnified by your career field because you’re seeing those younger generations and there is nostalgia in those experiences.
Just like you said that social media is a highlight reel, I think when we think about the past we mostly tend to fixate on all the good and don't remember the bad as much. That helps give me perspective whenever I start romanticizing the past - every season of my life has been "normal" and has felt like today. Its only because I'm looking back at only the good times that I feel nostalgic for it
Damn what a wise thing to say. I’m 21 but I remember when I was 13-14 and I could come back home and play fantasy video games in my room, it felt like my own little world and I miss that feeling of immersion and exploration. But like you say I also remember how difficult it was for me to feel comfortable and confident outside my house and I realized this was part of what made my inner world special.
It was nice but I definitely wouldn’t trade it for feeling confident and comfortable in my daily life now.
i feel EXACTLY the same when it comes to nostalgia! like you, i’ve had different friends etc for every stage of my life and i still mourn the loss of them even though we did just grow apart. i miss the past but the past was also terrible at the time and i really struggle with that! sending you so much love 💖
I feel this so much!! There are so many times when I think back on memories, and try to hold on to them, and realize that I’ll never experience them ever again. It’s like you said, growing older is a blessing and a privilege! But, those “simpler” times are so intoxicating to think about!
I really relate to what you’re saying about nostalgia. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about it, but I’ll just say that you’re not alone. The “algia” part of nostalgia literally means “pain.” I do feel a physical pain when I think about my childhood 😔 especially since my parents don’t live in my hometown anymore and I won’t go back there. It really sucks.
I feel you on nostalgia. Sometimes I wonder if other people LIVE in nostalgia as deeply as I do.
hearing you talk about your recent headspace made me cry, because i've been feeling the same way and haven't been able to find the words to describe it either. i've been hit with waves of grief over the past, my old life, and especially over people who were in my life or who i was close to. it completely ruins my day and has been happening more and more often lately and it's so hard to pull myself out of it. i really appreciate you talking about this and opening up this discussion in the comments, because it's so nice to see i'm not alone. it helps so much. sending you all the love, i hope you can find some peace. 💚
I relate SO much with what you said about nostalgia, I’m 33 btw. I don’t have any advice or anything, but you’re absolutely not alone in how you’re feeling.
Also, when your kohls ad pops up while I’m watching TH-cam it always puts a smile on my face.
ive been that type of nostalgia for as long as i can remember (and im only 29). its basically a personality trait of mine ahah
I relate to this so much. I’ve been hyper aware of the passage of time and me becoming a different person in different phases, ever since I was about 12/13. I’m 28 now and I’m getting better at accepting the passage of time but this is soooo relatable to me and I appreciate you speaking about this.
Feel this so hard. I’m 31 and my mom passed away last year. Since then I’ve had to cut off contact with my dad (for now at least) for decisions he made after her death. I’m essentially mourning the loss of two parents, and I have done similar nostalgia dives to feel connected to myself and to my memories with them. But it can be so heart wrenching. Love what your friend said about being in a better and safer place to process things from our pasts. I certainly feel that way about my own nostalgia weirdness, but it’s still hard. Hang in there Carrie!
Totally relate. When I get sad about never being a kid again or missing the past, I remind myself that I also don’t have to go through the hard parts or those dark times again and that there are so many amazing things that I haven’t experienced yet.
I also have the tendency to look at the past with rose colored glasses, so sometimes I have to remember that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
I feel like part of it is that when we're younger there's always something coming next. Learning to drive, graduating high school, college, work, figuring it out. So we cherish these little moments that seem like nothing like sitting in a car or a favorite song or your best friends bedroom because they were the break in between the madness of it all. Now as we're older and in our 30s life is a little more established but also more aimless especially without kids so no milestones. Without the milestones the minutiae is more constant and less special. And now those moments with a favorite song or whatever are sometimes by ourselves because we don't have the same constant in person access to our friends because life is in the way. Idk.
But also definitely a Hyper fixation thing. Last year I could literally feel it in my chest for weeks when I had to get a different car after mine broke down and I missed my old car. Like WHAT.
I feel you on that, I get genuinely sad when I think about the inevitability of my best friend getting rid of their old car, despite it being very old and having lots of issues. Like why it's not even my car.
Once in a while I’ll have a dream of my kids when they were little (they are 15 and 13 now) and it will send me down a depressive spiral for weeks, sometimes months. Just knowing I’ll never see them like that in real life ever again, and the knowledge that they will only change more as time passes. Nothing ever stops changing, so yeah, we all understand. This was very relatable.
Thank you, Carrie, for voicing your thoughts and being so transparent. I’ve been dealing with many of the same thoughts and for some reason knowing that someone on the other side of the world is going through a similar phase in their life calms me down. Much love to you from Finland! 💞
When you said I will never live with my dad again. That got me I’m going through that transition where I haven’t lived home in 2 years and I miss seeing my dad whenever and knowing all about his life. I wish I could tell my younger self to savor it.
I have a saved photo of my grandma's house on google maps just in case they ever update it and it's not her car in the driveway and her friends bikes in the backyard. I relate so hard to everything you said about nostalgia. Sometimes I think about being a kid doing homework after school and it makes me so sad that that life is gone forever. Not that I want to be doing homework again but you know.
I resonate so much with this. I'm 36, I've recently lost my grandparents, my dogs are 12 and 10, I'm married and not having children, and am going through such massive waves of nostalgia. I'll keep myself up all night reading old LiveJournal (lol) posts, going through photos, etc to the point that I'm not nostalgic, I feel homesick for a place/time I can no longer be in. I too moved around a lot, had childhood trauma and am working with a professional and also likened it to processing that. I also think it's because there aren't a lot of major, core memory style new experiences at this age. I feel like I am where I am now and need to settle into that but want those teen experiences back.
I guess it's all part of aging, especially when you're working on your mental health and are more self aware. Not sure if you'll see this now but you're certainly not alone in it, from one "elder millenial" to another ❤️
Just know that nostalgic feeling will never go away, and one day in your 50's, you'll back and be nostalgic for the 30's Carrie, and so forth and so on. You'll miss the current you one day too.
So true. 😢
Thank you for sharing this. I was literally JUST sobbing to my boyfriend last night about how I miss the past, and who I used to be, and how happy I used to feel. The last 2 years have really done a number on me, and all of us. This helped me not feel so alone. I’m hoping I can find a new version of myself that’s happy, and I’m sending you the warmest of vibes ☀️❤️
Was definitely going through this the other day! I've experienced it quite often. Sometimes I wonder how different of s person I couldn't been then if I knew then what I know now. Or wonder how i could've used my age to mu advantage, or feeling like I missed opportunities . . . But then I have to remember to stay present and realize there are always opportunities to grow. Past memories can be so beautiful to relive and sometimes painful . . . It can be hard not to get stuck in nostalgia !
I am glad you are feeling better and glad I'm not the only one.
I totally can understand where you’re coming from!! We kind of grieve our old selves sometimes. But what helps me is thinking about my mental state and my happiness back then vs now, and how much I’ve grown, and continue to grow. And those changes help me to be happy where I’m at!
My brother passed away 18 years ago and I randomly stilll go through phases where I have to look at pictures of us and hold his stuffies. I still feel him with me every day. It’s so hard. Also the early 2000s were so much more “innocent” and happy for a lot of us than current times. It’s heavy to really touch base with those nostalgic times and come back to the present. It’s such a juxtaposition
I can relate to these deep nostalgia feelings. Going through old posts, looking up apartments I used to live in on Zillow, reading old journals, etc. I do wonder if millennials and gen z are feeling a bit of “premature” nostalgia because many of us feel like the future is very uncertain (speaking from an American perspective, because the political climate of the country is so chaotic).
Carrie, I can’t thank you enough for sharing. What you were saying really struck a nerve with me. The older I get, the more I reflect on my past and really dwell on the elements that I miss or regret. The fact that you are so raw and honest and don’t just give us your contrived ‘highlight reel’ is the reason I love you so much. I don’t think I will ever stop feeling 16, like you!
I’m sorry you’re going through this but also I’m glad you chose to share it. I go through this to and always thought I was a little bit weird when I go through depression episodes that I feel are self caused because they start light and happy then I spiral into wondering “what am I doing with my life?”and “where did the old me go?”. They always get better but you’re definitely not alone girl and as much as I feel bad you’re going through it. It is nice to know we are not alone.
Sending you so many hugs, Carrie! I think we’ve all been there. Thank you so much for always being so open and honest. You sharing these feelings is so vulnerable, but you’ve definitely helped so many, including myself, feel validated and not alone. Ride those ebbs and flows, bestie 💖
I'm constantly looking up old addresses and wishing that my family had taken more pictures of the inside and during holidays. I'd be so happy just to have a picture of my childhood kitchen, that's how bad it is 😂 I'll get nostalgic over photos from 3-5 years ago even. If anything, it's been a good reminder to document things, take more pictures, take videos, save voicemails from family and just soak everything in now for your future self to look back on
I relate SO MUCH on the nostalgia. I'm 30 and I feel like I'm stuck in it lately! You explained it so well!
Feel this so much. Especially after losing people close to me, I go through this for a while ! It’s tough for sure ! But grateful for being here and the love I’ve experienced
I relate 100% to all of this. I do it all too. I think, at least for me, I notice that I start to get overwhelmed by deep feelings of nostalgia during times of transition once I am in a safer space, because once safety has been restored, my brain has a moment to start processing the grief associated with transition and change. Even if the change and transition is positive, there will always be a layer of grief with any form of loss, and a transition means letting go of the past to embrace the new future, and there is still loss in that! Be gentle with yourself! Have the feels!
I have this SAME feeling of nostalgia every time I have a life change. The move to LA may have triggered this. You’re starting a new path which is making you reflect on your past. When I start dreaming of my past or am triggered in some way and start feeling this nostalgia I know that I need to stay away from looking at old videos, pictures, and actively distract myself when the thoughts come in. So easy to get in a sad mindset when I give in to these thoughts and start looking at old photos of my old life :) Keep up with the therapy and friend chats, you’re doing the right things and you’re doing great and also…. You are definitely not alone in thinking this way!!
Love you, Carrie! I’m glad you and Drew are safe after those situations. I admire that you were able to still have fun at Disneyland after those two occurrences. That’s something that I have been struggling with lately-being present.
I can so relate. I think as we get older we definitely think about how things were and who's not in our life anymore. I lost my sister in March and I've been thinking a lot of my past. It's part of the grieving process but I'm like you I can hear a song and just ugly cry, sometimes you just need that. Thanks for sharing!!
GIRL IM CRYIN 🥺 thank you for sharing, your thoughts made perfect sense and really spoke to many of my feelings as well
Seeing your kohls ad play before your video is so amazing! Ily 🤟🏻
I see it so much lately!
I feel this so much and never thought other people did too. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing ❤️
I have been struggling with adhd stuff so much and it has messed things up a lot in my life but my therapist says it’s my current environment. Your videos help me so much because I don’t feel alone in the struggle. Thank you Carrie. Truly.
You're definitely not alone! I'm 39. I have been thinking back when I first turned 30 and how different my life was then compared to now. I immediately was sad because I missed the old me but she also went through some really tough shit that made me into more of who I am now and I wouldn't change it for anything
It's definitely a one day at a time thing. Each day you get a little better. ❤️
Wow. It is SO reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one that *obsesses* over the past. Omg. I feel so much at peace. I know exactly where you’re coming from. And with the dreams too!! I’ve been having more vivid dreams that make me rethink things recently
I feel this sooo hard. I'm 26 and feel the same way, and find myself looking at old pictures, old addresses, etc. Reminiscing on how simple things used to be and just how much fun I used to have in high school with friends and before I kinda "grew up." My relationships with my parents were so much better and I truly miss that (they're now divorced and one lives on the other side of the world so things are so different). I think now we're also so aware of all the shitty things in the world, which at least for me was never really a factor (and I know I'm lucky to be able to say that). Everything is more complicated, stressful, and busy and I do miss my old self. All that to say - you're not alone!!
This video is actually way more helpful than you know. Esp for those of us who are growing up & it feels so surreal? Like I’m 26 now, feels literally like just yesterday I graduated HS.
I 1000000% understand the obsession with nostalgia, & I feel the absolute same like you can’t control the spiral sometimes. Like knowing your parents one day won’t be here, never getting to live with your sibling again, seeing you pets / family / friends / get old, it is so hard : , ( thank you for being so open 🤍
Carrie - 10000000% YES. You have this uncanny ability of posting videos that DIRECTLY relate to what I'm going through. Also in my early 30s here, and for me idk if it's these long summer days or the fact that I was bored so decided to look through old family photos & the nostalgia has been hitting HARD. It's so funny because I thought it would be uplifting and happy, and instead I kind of felt this painful sadness like you mentioned of never reliving those moments. I couldn't believe when you mentioned zillow because I decided to look up all the old places I used to live and then went down an even deeper rabbit hole and looked up the houses where my parents grew up, my parents first house after they got married, etc. and it was wild. Also an HSP/empath here and been having crazy dreams. Not sure what that's about! But your video made me feel less alone, so thank you. BTW also the 2nd strange gas station story I heard today - wth is going on?? LOL
I’m 32. I just recently lost my grandmother. She was my last grandparent making my own mother now the grandparent generation if that makes sense and myself the “adult” generation. I’ve been in a funk and I completely, whole-heartedly resonate with what you’re saying & how you’re feeling. Thank-you so much for touching on this subject and allowing what I’m feeling to be put into words bc I was having trouble finding the words to describe what I was feeling. I stopped watching YT for a while and have rly missed your videos. Glad to be watching again. ❤️
Same Carrie!
I feel you. I see my kids grow and I miss them as babies and hate the fact they never got to meet my grandparents. Then I tell them how they were and what their favorite foods were. And I’ll just cry.
I have anxiety, depression, and ocd so I get you. Thanks for speaking out on all these random feelings.
Can relate to the nostalgia. Especially because every time I leave the house or make a plan it’s keeping Covid in mind. I long for the days of not having to worry about that. Just doing the thing and not worrying. And the cost of everything is going up. It feels like you have to work 10xs harder and can’t “relax” or “have fun” without being concerned over finances. I don’t remember all these worries in my early 20s
From the moment you said you were “nostalgic for past me”, I sobbed. I relate to all of this. I just turned 37 and I miss all the old chapters of my life and I often wonder if anything will ever feel as good again.
I feel the same!
I used to do this with social media in a huge way, but in retrospect for me personally, it wasn’t healthy and it was making me really sad. Again speaking only for myself here, but it’s not good or healthy for me to have easy access to that stuff. I deleted all my social media gradually over a couple of years (FB in 2017, Insta in 2020, and finally Twitter at the beginning of this year) and it’s made a huge difference in my mental health. My experience tells me that I’m meant to forget stuff. It’s good for me to lose touch with people and for old memories to become hazy. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s better for me to have fuzzy recollections of past times that I can look back on with fondness than easy access to all my thoughts, feelings and experiences that distract me from living my life now. This goes for good times and bad, people I’ve cared about and those I didn’t. It’s all the past, I can learn from it and look back with nostalgia but can’t carry it with me in detail. It’s too much and it’s only compounding as the years go by!
I feel you so so much. Im “only” 25, but this past year i have been feeling those exact feelings you are describing, and just feeling like “where did my life go? I remember being 15 like it was yesterday!” Also feeling like I’m running out of time, feeling scared that I am wasting my life and not enjoying my life enough. It’s weird and really hard, actually, but it helps to know that I am not alone in feeling this way.
It’s so nice to hear someone else vocalize things that I felt so alone with. Getting older is a privilege. Nostalgia oftentimes makes me sad. But I think it’s important to be grateful for your past because it built the person you are today (& you’re great!). I miss part of my old selves, but know that life is a journey and we’re constantly changing. Just be intentional about your growth :)
OMG CARRIE!!!!!! I feel like I've been going through this for so long!!! I feel like I'm stuck in it!!!! I've never had someone explain it so perfectly!!!!!
Yes feel like Carrie put it in a way I couldn't lol xx
I completely get this! Knowing you're a better person now doesn't help fight the feeling. I know exactly how you're feeling and it really hits hard sometimes. You're not alone and we'll get thru it. I recommend talking to a therapist. It helps a lot. Getting older (I'm 31), I'm realizing a lot of traumatic events from my childhood that I didn't realize was the way it was and it's hard to get thru it by myself. Hopefully knowing you're not alone helps 💕
I have these moments, and, from a place of love / NOT shaming on myself, i have to say 'nope. that's a lack of gratitude for what i have now' its exactly what you said... hyper fixation. Important not to let it mask as nostalgia or positive reminiscence. you got it, Carrie!
Thank you for sharing this.. I’ve felt this a lot- and the different chapters about moving.. i 100000% feel that. Everyone has different friend groups as they age, but it’s so different when you live in such different places. I moved to TN from AZ in high school and to look at myself and my friends and see how different they are is SO odd. The stark differences makes it truly feel like different chapters and sometimes different books.
I completely avoid looking back at old pictures or through social media because I don't want to confront the feelings you describe. I was panicking about the aging thing for a couple weeks recently and couldn't shake it - parents getting older, pets getting older, my appearance changing, having so many responsibilities, etc. The crying fits around that have passed but I don't think those feelings will go away unless we can stop time. Thanks for being open with us ❤️
you're absolutely not alone. i'm a pretty self aware person & i'm constantly in my head -- i become overwhelmingly nostalgic many times a year. i do the same things, i will re-read old messages, look at old pictures, want to message people i used to talk to that i don't anymore reminiscing memories. its rough. i'm not sure what triggers it or makes it eventually go away -- but it definitely ebbs & flows in my life. hang in there - if i'm not careful, i can go down a super dark road thinking how i'll never get the past 33 years of my life back...
You are not alone. I felt the EXACT same way this week. It sucks thinking about the person you used to be and the memories you wish you could relive
I am in the same boat as your right now and I always get that high off of nostalgia. I have a 4year old daughter and when she watches disney movies that I watched as a kid, I will literally start tearing up. Songs and movies bring me back to a different time. I think being in your 30s make you realize how fast life goes by and this is why we are thinking of these things. It's a very bitter/sweet feeling
I’ve literally been feeling this EXACT same way the past few weeks. It’s been horrible! I’m trying to do everything I can to push past it because I know it’ll pass, but it’s definitely hard. You’re not alone love!!!
Carrie-. I'm a manicurist for 30+ years. One thing that I have learned over the years working on clients from 3-101... our outside body changes, but our inside we have sooo much in common. Nostalgia sets in when we have history, and we have so many ways to connect with our past through the internet. Just take a deep breathe, smile and thank your experiences for getting you to where you are today! It's all about the half full/half empty thing💕😜😃
Thank you Carrie for sharing your inner most personal thoughts with us. I am recently going through a mental health crisis and I am also having similar thoughts of what you have been experiencing. I have been reminiscing about the past, my childhood/ teenage years and how times were so much simpler before. It almost feels that things were way better before comparing to now. I am turning 32 in August and it feels like time is just flying by. I am also feeling pressure due to societal expectations of settling down (career, marriage, having children, and buying a home). It truly feels overwhelming and lonely sometimes. I really enjoy your sit down videos sharing your thoughts/ experiences. I would like to thank for this because it makes me feel less lonely ❤️
Something that helps me is remembering how anxious and sad I was during those times and even tho there were good moments, where I’m at right now I’m SO much more stable and better but I’m used to the chaos and unpredictability so that’s what I “miss” but if I think about it I’d NEVER want to actually go live w my mom again or etc you know? Just try to picture yourself older and looking back to where you are now and how you’d miss that too :)
I was going through this exactly same not too long ago. I feel like I had no time to process my trauma because I never felt safe. Now that I feel safe and I'm not engaging in those flight or fight behaviors, I feel so deeply sad for that little girl and the woman who had to deal with incredible trauma. I'm processing those feelings and it gets heavy. Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt alone in my grief and now I don't so thank you so much 💗
I'm so glad you shared this because truly in my late 20s I'm constantly having these waves of mourning my past self and going down photo rabbit holes from my past and wondering, "Where did she go?" I will say too that I moved A LOT growing up and still as an adult move around a lot, and I think those experiences make us sensitive to loss because there's so much newness all the time. I feel you so so much! ❤️
carrie, i just recently went through photos from high school that i hadn't seen in so long. i suppressed so many things that happened in high school because i just wanted to move past it but sometimes sitting with that version of yourself feels comforting in a way. remembering what it was like to be in that headspace. knowing so much more now. it feels like lifetimes ago
This is so relatable, I've been in a very similar phase myself, it's so bizarre to miss that part of yourself and look back on it with more rose colored glasses and then remember all the difficult parts as well. Totally a rollercoaster of emotions. ❤️❤️
I ABSOLUTELY relate to what you are saying about yearning for the past. I'm 32 years old and it feels like high school was just yesterday. I get sad often thinking about how I will never live with my mom again and get a little angry at myself for not realizing how special that time was because I was so anxious to move on with my life. I believe that this is 100 percent normal and is just part of accepting the aging process. Our society focuses too much on outer beauty and aging, and doesn't always talk about the emotional impact of aging. It is so hard to just sit with uncomfortable emotions but it is also so healing to do so. Sending you lots of love and know that you are NOT alone.
I do the same thing! Like miss it so deeply even though things are so great right now.. it's bizarre. I think it has a lot to do with being close to certain people that I'm not close with anymore and as I get older that number of people is dwindling. I just don't have those close friendships anymore and I'll never have a close friend that was there with me through all the stuff during highschool etc which is sad.
My husband and I go through this too!! I've went through this ever since I was little and it's an every day occurrence. It can be a good thing (remembering certain memories) and sad too. You are definitely not alone with these type of feelings.
Neurodivergent people do feel nostalgia more deeply! I go on these weird nostalgic spirals every so often. I'm sure its part of the emotional disregulation with ADHD and its like you have this intense link to specific times in your life. Its madness. I'm 40 next year, how the actual fudge has this happened?! 😳 😫😱
I love your natural lashes! I have red hair so all of my lashes and brows are essentially clear lol. It’s taken me YEARS to embrace my light features and even dare go out without brows and mascara but finally in my mid 20s I’ve started to learn to go out in them and it’s made me feel a lot more stress free and myself even though I still have days I don’t like the way I look.
I’m not usually one to comment on TH-cam posts or any posts really, but I felt drawn to this time! Thank you so much for sharing! I thought I was alone in the nostalgia binging of old memories and videos and places. I will sit there and make myself cry from looking at old memories and old times. So thank you for putting it into words better than I could! I love your content and you as a person! I feel like your a big sister or a good older friend! So thank you for everything! Know your appreciated out there! Hope your doing well and sending you a lot of love back 💚
I am 32 and have been SUPER nostalgic lately! Same things... looking at old pictures, listening to old songs that take me back... it's wild how much things have changed. I wish I could go back ALL the time and appreciate it more. I think there really is something about thinking back to more simple times. Today the world can be crazy. Stay strong girlfriend. Thanks for always posting
I can totally relate. My particular brand of nostalgia is rooted in some insecurities about the things that have changed more than actually being in a better place previously - like you previous me was a lot less aware and empathetic, but some of the changes have not been welcome too.
Carrriiiiieeeee I feel you so much. I am the same about nostalgia. I'm learning that it's okay to miss the past, grieve it and cherish the melancholic moments. When I don't acknowledge it and let myself feel, I become more tempted to live out the past in an unhealthy way that keeps me stuck, or try to zoom into the future which brings up anxiety - if that makes sense haha.
I found your channel in 2020 and last week I was binge watching your crazy story times. It is amazing to see your growth!
I've heard people say that timelines are overlapping. I always recommend sending the past you(or your younger self) love. Send young Carrie all the love she was in need of, talk to her and cheer her on.
Sending the current Carrie and the young Carrie hugs & love ❤️
Oh girl your not alone. I always go back a look at old pictures and old videos and it makes me so sad. Especially when I look at my kids baby pictures. It really gets me.
this is why you are my favorite youtuber. You have such a wise and interesting internal life and I'm glad you share when you can. I can absolutely relate to your nostalgia and the many chapters of life. How can I get all those versions of me back now? People dying, times changing, different jobs, homes, lives, etc. You're so not alone hahaha. I do this with youtube videos of all my old bands and I barely play music anymore.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼 I think as we get older we are reminded by life how quickly time can pass and holding on to the memories and things that have curated our lives and made us *us*, becomes really important ❤️
You’re absolutely not alone. Nostalgia is normal, even when it’s painful. I think you also have to remember that you’re remembering a curated past, you felt the same lows, maybe worse than you feel now. It wasn’t all good then, and yet you remember it so beautifully. There’s hope for today to be just as beautiful.
You're definitely not alone! I think it often hits us when we make big changes too and we're dealing with processing it.
My friendship with a long time best friend recently ended and then I reconnected with an older best friend even more recently and I've been in the same headspace. Wild dreams processing all these changes lol.
35yo right here and I understand your feelings of nostalgia. I myself have moved a lot being a military brat and I don’t have a physical childhood home to go back to. All but one of my grandparents have passed away and now I have 2 kids that I am watching grow in front of my eyes. I gauge the timeline of my life by theirs now which is so weird. I’m not who I was but I love who I am. I look forward to what is to come with excitement and look back with gratitude ❤️
A few months ago, I was decluttering my clothes and all of the sudden I felt this sadness for the person I was and I’m not anymore and starting sobbing on top of my pile of clothes, and I also tend to feel nostalgic and go back to look at photos, playlists, videos from past chapters in my life. So you are definitely not alone! ❤️❤️
It can also mean you are starting your new chapter and a new version of you, and your subconscious is saying goodbye to the old you and is ready for the next thing🙏❤️
I am glad you are feeling better now 🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
I related so much to the looking up previous addresses and old Facebook posts. I get instantly sucked into memories and then have to bring myself back to the present and remind myself I’m better off now. But I do agree with your friend who said it’s probably because you feel safe to revisit those things. I just this last year finally felt together and in a good place and that’s when the nostalgia really picked up. Also these last few years have just screwed with my perception of time. Especially when it first started we were meant to believe it would only last a short time and now it’s almost 3 years later with no real end in sight. But all that to say I feel exactly the same and am a therapist so it’s completely “normal” to feel this way ! Wish you all the luck and happiness though these tough times :)
The way I needed to hear this SO much to know that I am not the only person who feels like this. A big thing I’ve noticed recently is that my friends act way older than we are and I just have moments where I have emotionally broke down about the fact that I am YOUNG and my life is just passing by and I get nostalgic for times when I truly enjoyed being a young teen or something like that. Like you said, it’s almost impossible to put into words and I feel like when I try to talk about it people get confused lol
You saying that you’re nostalgic for a past you and feel like you’ve lost parts of yourself along the way, even though you’ve done so much healing and growing over the years really hit home for me. I think back to past versions of myself and feel like those were the versions of me that were the most me, where I felt the most like myself. But then I have to remember that I’m mourning versions of myself who didn’t know how to enforce boundaries, and carried the burdens of others too strongly, and didn’t know how to stand up for myself. So when I start to feel like I’ve lost myself over the years, I just have to remind myself that it’s not a loss. I might not feel like my fullest self sometimes because I was that person for so long, but that I am the best version of myself, for myself, now.
I feel so connected to what you’re speaking about, from a different side of the cube. A lot of change is coming and I’m scared. I’m about to graduate college, my immediate family is moving across the country and I’ll be going with them post graduation, also going through a rough rough break up. The impending future is also making me feel nostalgic. By moving so far, I uproot everything I’ve ever known, and the potential for rekindling relationships with people is lost. I don’t feel ready to create that next chapter, not knowing if the new chapter will hurt me as much as the past. They always say you have to do things before you’re ready, otherwise you’ll never do it, and that’s where faith comes it. But no matter where we are in our lives, I think we could all use a little more giving grace to ourselves.
I have totally been having a rough year + with mourning my past/my “youth”. I am about to turn 33 and my friends have all gotten married, and some have had kids within the last few years and it’s thrown me for a freaking loop! I think it’s totally normal to be sad that certain parts of your life are over and tbh with all the shit going on in the world now I’ve been struggling with having hope for/looking forward to the future. You are not alone.
Carrie you hit the nail right on the head! You are an amazing young woman and thank you for your videos.
I totally feel you. I’m turning 49 in a few days and the older I get the harder it feels sometimes to “grow old gracefully”. I, like you, am so thankful for every day that I’m given, but some days I really miss the carefree me, the easy to love me, etc. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Your vlogs always bring joy to my day🫶🏼❤️
I feel you so hard on the nostalgia thing. you are absolutely not alone - and the thing you said about living so many different lifetimes in one life is a thought I’ve had so much! it’s honestly kind of scary and sad. in counseling I feel like I’ve been reconnecting with my younger self though, and it has been really healing for me. 💕
Carrie I’m so glad you’re talking about this. I’ve recently been going through similar mental health issues as well. It feels a lot better knowing I’m not alone in my struggle. I don’t know why, but that’s kind of comforting.
I feel you totally. I went through a similar period this year too, and periodically. I drove past my childhood home, walked around (they bulldozed it and it’s now a park), went through my Facebook, tagged myself in friend’s photos of me, hung out with high school friends… I miss old me, too. Maybe someday I’ll be looking at the time now with nostalgia. Thank you for being open!!!
OMG CARRIE! I’m so happy you said you knew it was also related to ADHD, cuz as soon as you said you felt nostalgia on an *intense* level I was like omg dude it’s the ADHD! I think what a loooot of people don’t understand is that it’s a *mood* disorder, and when we feel intense feelings, our brains literally don’t know how to process them, and so we get overwhelmed and executive functioning just goes out the window. I know you’ve already said you feel better and you know you’ve gone through this before (so you know how to take care of yourself) but this is the #1 thing that I take adhd meds for. Even more than an ssri (for depression) a stimulant (for adhd) regulates my emotions *SO WELL* and prevents me from becoming lost in the ocean of any one emotion. Take care of yourself hunni😘 us adhd adults really are learning our brains all over again💗
Thank you for sharing this, I’m going through this right now too and I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m a new mom and keep finding myself dwelling about the past. Spending lots of headspace time reflecting on my time in high school and college. Kinda feeling like I wish I could go back in time. I’ve been trying to shake this now for almost a year and just feeling stuck. I also have been on Zillow and looking at the exact same thing! Nostalgia also effects me deeply and I can’t put my finger on why this is happening. Just going to keep riding this wave and see where it takes me. I try to remember that we remember the good memories more than the bad. 💕
Being a new mom is so hard sometimes
@@kailebrogan447 It really is! 💕
i described this to my psychiatrist as I've been running for so long and so fast and so far that i never thought about what would happen if i stopped. If I felt safe, and secure and balanced in life and what that would actually mean for my mental health especially my ADHD. And she said when I stopped distracting myself or giving into the impulses my brain actually had a moment to process what i had been doing while i was moving so fast. And that hits you all at once and can be devastating. So grateful to know that we're not alone in this and that there's a light at the end of the very long tunnel