Japanese Women Reveal : The REAL Issues with Dating Foreigners
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2025
- Ever wondered what Japanese women think about dating foreigners? In this video, I dive into cultural differences, dating struggles, and some surprising stories from both Japan and abroad. Get a glimpse into the realities of modern romance in Japan and the challenges Japanese women face! Don’t miss out on these intriguing perspectives!
#englishまなちゃんネルん
#japaneseculture
#relationshipproblems
biggest difficulty with asian woman is getting her to be direct with the truth about her thoughts and feelings, before she gets angry or passive aggressive about whatever she isn't telling you
biggest difficulty with men from any country is where you find them -- if you want a family man go where family men go (it aint an app or a bar/club): church, park, baseball, grocery store, etc.
major difference is that american frontier men typically prefer mentally tough, emotionally open, physically fit, conversationally direct women; on the other hand, american men can't stand women who are chronically late
america alone is very diverse and not everyone dates...there are serial hookup people, daters, courters, friend group daters, online chatters, txters, etc. Also, being "exclusive" to each other also varies a lot, but if it's not directly spoken about you shouldn't assume it exists
Thank you so much for your comment and sharing the common perspective in the US! I’ve learned a lot. ☺️
As an Asian woman, Japan is not just Asia. There are many Asian nationalities that are very direct. We can really give you a piece of our minds.
@@kishisetasama haha, I think most Asian women can give a very direct piece of their minds--after they snap from built up anger over things not yet discussed! Nothing is scarier than an angry Asian woman!
I live in Canada and have been married to a beautiful japanese woman from Tokyo for 15 years. We are very happy....
just dont ever ever move to japan with her
@@thePOWERofART-11 we spend 4 months in japan every year
We are there often.
@@BillBinstedwhy don’t you live there if it’s so great
@@cantrait7311 what an odd response
@@cantrait7311 envious?
Japanese women and Japanese people in general are so indirect with their communication that most of us would consider it non-communication. Japanese women believe that you are supposed to somehow understand or know what is bothering them. The typical thing for Japanese women to do is to give the silent treatment. If you don't get the message that she is upset from that, then she will stomp around and make a scowling face. Most western men can understand that she is upset, but without any communication, we just have no idea what the problem is. This can be a real problem, especially if you date a Japanese woman who get angry often or who is easily upset. The man can go through endless cycles of silent treatment. I much prefer the straight open communication of western women and especially American women who will tell you exactly what is on their mind rather than just being angry until you happen to guess what the problem is.
Thank you for sharing your insights.
Truly, sometimes what they consider cues are only detectable if you were also brought up in Japan and have the cultural empathy to decipher them, knowing the language alone is almost never enough. Especially when a lot of Japanese girls expect you to keep score of the context instead of using words to communicate. I've had very frustrating experiences trying to have my Japanese exes tell me things instead of just suddenly (they way it appears to me at least) blowing up. Even if you are both willing its very difficult to change communication styles you grew up with.
You just described w-omen in general 😂
@@DiegoB0525
Lol true that.
Spot on!
I think the thing that was the hardest to deal with in my 22 year relationship with a Japanese lady was other Japanese people. Foreigners only make up about 2% of the population in Japan, so wherever you go people notice you and everything you do. One of the most stressful things for my wife was the constant questions and comments about our marriage from other Japanese. For instance, if I put on weight no one said to me ‘Dave, you’re getting fat’. When I wasn’t around they’d say ‘Ryoko, your husband is getting fat. That means you’re a bad wife for letting it happen.’ The constant questions and comments were so bad that my youngest daughter stopped using my last name at school and began using her mother’s maiden name to escape the attention. I think many Japanese women probably avoid dating foreign men for the same reason.
I always notice mixed couples myself since I am one. One thing I find is when buying coffee or something like that on a date if it's a women server they often get excited and ask my gf questions about what we are doing.
You're right about the "dating multiple people" thing, as far as I'm concerned. I've dated many, sometimes it was 2-3 dates and sometimes it was 6 months plus... But after one period of trying to casually date, ( dinner, drinks, concert, etc..), 2 or 3 different girls, it was exactly as you say... Way too much, and none of them worked out. Better to focus on one at a time and see if there's real potential. If not, move on sooner than later!
Wow, you said a lot of things I was thinking. Thanks TH-cam algorithm for the suggestion!
Thank you for watching my video ☺️
The real problem with dating Japanese women is until you get married or have a baby with them they will hide there true personality. A Japanese comedian made a video about this on TH-cam and based on conversations I've had with multiple guys married to Japanese women this is for the most part true.
I believe there are good Japanese women who are honest and open from the start of the relationship but as a foreigner you need to really do your homework before taking it any further with Japanese women. There upbeat attitude and innocent demeanor can catch a lot guys out.
I would love to date a Japanese woman, but one who is older and upstanding and Pleasant to be with and for us to enjoy one another's company 😉 ❤
Exactly 😅
Please understand that america, Canada, or other countries are not Japan. They may not be as strict on time management. And YES, trains may not run on time and may not be as convenient. It’s ok to have your beliefs, but do not blame them because they do not have the same values, and do not share the same opinions as you. It’s the same as if a American or Canadian came to Japan with their own opinions such as I have my own opinions and I will say what I feel honestly. It will burden Japanese people right? Please accept people as they are, and if you are in a foreign country, do your best to follow their rules.
Casually dating several people at once? Couldn't be me, I have negative rizz. If you know the culture and rules, dating a Japanese woman doesn't sound so bad if you're compatible first and foremost. Bringing up sex right away is insane to me, you'll scare them off, any woman, for that matter. As for the whole old after 35 thing, I find it somewhat absurd. There are plenty of Japanese women 35+ that are plenty attractive and probably would make great partners. The only thing I could see is if you want kids, while it's still perfectly possible at that age, it may be a bit difficult once you factor in time dating and getting established before having kids, that clock doesn't stop and if shes 35 when you meet theres a possibility it could be very late when youre finally ready.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions!
I originally met my wife on line and we chatted by email and on the phone before we ever met or saw each other’s photo. We both belonged to the same church, so even though I’d never been to her city we found out we knew about a dozen of the same people. We dated for 4 years and were married for 18 years. There were cultural differences, but we were able to work them out. In the end, it was too many years of working tanshin funin that tore us apart. I still live in Hokkaido because my daughters and granddaughter are here, but I’ve given up on trying to date anyone.
congrats on being free. iz you MGTOW ? ( i lived in japan for 15 years, but ended up being married to a korean, no longer together though)
the differences are frustrating and overwhelming but i guess we will keep trying anyway
I think it’s a good idea to: (1) try to marry a Japanese woman that is somewhat familiar with foreigners/other cultures. (2) Make sure mutual interests and shared long term goals are in place, so that way even if a lot of stuff is going wrong cross-culturally at least there could be some alignment still.
I am a loud and touchy-feely, but I think I can put a lot of that aside as long as my days are filled with stuff I like to do. So if we have same hobbies and working toward goals.
I guess I could make noise when my future wife is not around. I would have to make sure she has her own things to do. lol
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions! 😊
Thanks for sharing your opinion by the way your english skills are good.
Thank you for your kind comment. My English still has room for improvement, and I need to keep learning!
@manachan02387 My pleasure
These women need to meet men who are serious and want a future. Dating apps are a waste of time. I have never had any cultural dating issues in Japan. If you can find a good woman stay with her for the future.
Thank you for your lovely comment!
The casual dating strategy where you date several people at the same time, imho is mainly a US thing. It is not really a thing in Europe. Going on several first dates, yes, that might be a common thing in Europe. But once you start going on a second, or third date with the same person, it is implied that that person will be the only one. However, it is still this unclear gray zone, that you might not have in Japan. In Japan you will probably expect the Kokuhaku after 3-5 dates or so? In Europe it is usually a more implied, gradual shift from dating to relationship.
I wouldn't consider it a mainly US thing either, I don't know anybody who dates like that. Might be the major cities do but dating lots of people at the same time where I live would be looked down upon.
Thank you so much for sharing what it's really like in Europe. That makes sense.!
I hate to break it to you, but the vast majority of Americans do not purposefully and knowingly date just for the sake of dating. It actually works pretty much the same way here as it does everywhere else in the world. Basically, if you are attracted to someone you ask them out on a date and then you see where it goes from there. Most people are hoping that it will lead to something significant but sometimes you will have to date quite a few people before finding true compatibility. And some people do not even know they are looking for something serious but find it anyway when they least expect it. In any case, one date is often enough to know that you are not compatible and other times you need to go on several dates and during this time there will naturally sometimes be some overlap in the dating. There are of course serial daters out there who are only in it for the sex and the fun and nothing else, but these types of people exist in pretty much every country on the planet, including Japan and Europe. You say that its different in Europe and yet another guy here says that in the UK its exactly like you claim it is in the USA, and last time I checked the UK was part of Europe. The truth of course is that you are both wrong and this is because you are both assuming that what you see and hear around you in your own circle is representative of your society as a whole but I’m afraid it is not. Incidentally I lived in Tokyo for many years and in that time I went on well over 100 first dates there. And while many of those turned into one-night stands neither party planned on that outcome from the onset in most cases. That is just how things ended up. That being said some of those girls were indeed only interested in a one-night stand from the get-go and had no interest in taking things further. And although I sometimes knew on some level in many cases that this or that girl would ultimately not be the one for me, my male sex drive was often trying to convince me otherwise. My goal was always to find a serious relationship though.
@@SLOBeachboy I don't think I have been on 100 first dates in my entire life. And I suspect I have more of it ;) let alone for whatever amount of limited years you spent in Tokyo let alone for whatever amount of limited years you spent in Tokyo. So that argument might actually be reenforcing the stereotype :)
Pointing out the UK is not as strong an argument as you think it is. It might be geographically Europe. But they have always done their own thing. They will be the first to say that they like separating themselves from the continent.
But don't worry. I know of course that there are always single individuals anywhere in the world that will be outliers.
@SLOBeachboy Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions! I thought you might just become a dating expert with all that experience-100 dates is impressive! 😀 I really understand what you’re saying. This is a place for people to share their knowledge and experiences, and there are no right answers since we’re all just expressing our views on this topic, just like you. So, I don’t think my insights are always correct or perfect, but I do want to emphasize that dating apps shouldn’t be used for scams or just as a way to find casual hookups or satisfy personal desires. Instead, they should be spaces that give us opportunities to find someone who truly matches with us.... But I’ve never used dating apps, though.😁
“The idea of dating several partners is pretty shocking to us”
I have been living in Japan for 17 years and cheating and multi-dating here is the national sport.
へー。すごいね。
I can’t speak for guys, but as a gay girl (even more hard) three things have indeed been difficult dating in Japan:
1. Most aren’t open or will not day it to their parents. Made me feel like something ‘hidden’
2. I thought western girls were indirect with communication, but compared to Japanese girls we’re open books 😆 I usually prefer if they would just say if I did something wrong. I sadly wasn’t born with the power of mind reading.
3. Different cultures is fine, but they key is meeting in the middle. And accept differences from each other and learn from it. It shouldn’t be a one way street that we have to abandon everything we grew up with. I did my best to learn a lot about Japanese culture. I do wish more would try and understand our local cultures as well 🙂↕️
I really appreciate you opening up about your experiences! It takes courage to share these thoughts, and it’s crucial for us to understand the diverse challenges people face in the dating world.
Great channel Miwa😊❤
Thank you ~!
That's a big problem, that the beautiful men abuse their popularity and cause bad experiences for women, on the other hand, the women often focus completely on the top 20% of the men, so that the standard men often have almost no chance at all.
Maybe in Western Culture novelty, variety, adventure -even danger, has a less negative meaning than in Japanese Culture? Seems to me Traditional Japanese Culture tends to be more conservative, risk avoidant, and values regularity, reliability, stability, and safety.
As a an American, I can say with confidence that our culture highly values the attitude of “虎穴に入らずんば虎子を得ず”
Your videos are very insightful. I enjoy them very much!
Thank you for your comment and sharing insights!
In the UK you would date 3 or 4 people for few months before deciding who you want to be your girlfriend, thats how it works, but dating apps are seen as just hook ups and nothing serious.
The problem with 90% Japanese women is that they are too attached to their job career. Their job comes with pressure, deadlines, and commitments. They are literally married to their job. Hence why they struggle to find the right partner. Them being in a relationship would require more time, energy and commitment. This is the main reason. We all know that Japan has one of the worse work lifestyles in the world.
@MIWA
I rarely comment on youtube videos but I'm going to try any way I can to connect with someone. Yes, I've been using dating apps (Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Boo). And it's tough for guys!
I'm an asian guy (Chinese), 37 yrs, 5'7". Live in NY. I genuinely would love to meet more Japanese women as I'm a big fan of Japanese culture. Even took Japanese for 2 years in college (I'm not fluent enough but I know a fair amount).
It seems looking for them is difficult? Maybe I'm not looking in the right place? Which apps are your friends using?
Would love some advice, recommendations, or even referrals! Am willing to even provide one of my dating profiles! 😆
Everything in western culture is direct, almost to the point of being confrontational. From what I can observe Japanese culture seems to be the exact opposite where things are implied, insinuated, or suggested. That would make good communication hard in a relationship...That cultural difference is also what makes Japanese women so damn attractive too.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions!
I am Brazilian, I date for 6 months a Japanese woman. I even went to Japan to know my mother in law. There is to many cutural diference between our country. And, after 6 months we smart decided break up. I think Japanese woman and occidental man shouldn't married if they are not prepared to deal with this diference I their culture and gender roles in their country. Sorry for my English. Big hugs from Brazil
Thank you for sharing your experience and opinions. 😊
4:45 Sounds like something Scandinavia has in common with Japan, I always try to arrive a few minutes early cause it's better to be a bit too early than too late (giving yourself a window for allowing unplanned things to happen). I can't stand people that don't care about arriving on time, even worse are flaky people that cancel at the last minute.
5:57 I don't subscribe to that idea, if I'm gonna date it's gonna be 1 person at a time. It's too much of a hassle to juggle multiple people at the same time, besides that I don't want to deal with the fallout of making several others disappointed if it would for whatever mystifystical reason, turn out they actually really like me. Not that it matters that much, ive never been that interested in the whole dating thing.
I have learned a lot about relationships and women in general so in the future I will date woman 40s plus, they are more settled and at least can communicate what they dont want.
They are more relaxed than younger ones.
Ok Dr. Ruth !!!!!
Japanese women are beautiful to me (inside and out) I commend them for going outside the borders of Japan to find true love. When you’re digging for gold, you will get your nails dirty but the prize is worth it when you find the right partner. 🌹
if you meet a person in real life, you will discover immediately if you match or not.
with a dating app you have to chat for hours or weeks before going on a date.
so, dating apps are just a ridiculous waste of time.
To many dating apps, not to mention half of the women on there have only fans accounts smh
I didn’t know that…! I feel like those women are kind of using dating apps the wrong way...😳
I followed your video very closely, I have some important points to say on this, even if not every woman or man likes it, I have done my own research and to be honest I am a bit at a loss, I have seen so many videos and opinions, e.g. there are a lot of single women who are over 30 but are still very attractive, Asian girls and women are really attractive to allmost every western man, so let me tell you... I have seen and expired on dating sites, like Thai, Chinese, Philippines, and many other countries, these girls have a lot and huge requirements, for me as a German man I keep seeing the same unbelievable structure in these requirements, let me explain using my example, I was forced to look after my child alone and deliberately did not look for a woman to rule out difficulties, over 25 alone with only a child, are these women even aware that many men go down this path and may not be wealthy, but have the heart, the responsibility and the necessary love to make an Asian woman happy, is it really the money that is mostly used to deceive and men who have bad intentions, is it really the case that these demands mostly lead to men who are only interested in this woman for his sake and to receive his approval, to be completely honest and to speak and act from the bottom of their hearts even if the man has made a decision that usually brings him a very bad light and poverty, these women should think carefully about what they really want, most single dads also need good girls
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Some people carry past traumas, and others have vulnerabilities they try to hide... These things can make finding genuine love quite complicated...
Those are the problems with cheap dating sites. I am a Mexican guy and I met my family oriented Japanese wife through a reputable marriage agency. Today we have two children (an eight-year old girl and a six-year old boy). We bought a new house in Kawasaki seven years ago and so far we have changed our family transportation vehicle (a van) for a new model twice. I am very happy with my Japanese family. The marriage agency we used is the transpacific marriage agency or tma. Don't use dating sites since they have the reputation of being adequate for once in a life hook-ups or for scammers.
Thanks for sharing; I've been watching "Nina La Japonesa"(she spent two months in El Salvador(Sharing "The Rainbu🌈 or "Reinbo" as Japanese Elder Kinko Ito, who interviewed the Ainu Japanese Jomon in Hokkaido, said; she appreciated the "Rainbu" indeed beyond hafu), and recently began dating someone in California); you may enjoy her channel(I definitely have)🔥🌧🌈🌊⛵
Japanese women need to understand that Forgeign aren't mind readers.
Is it true that Japanese women typically value security in a partner above all else?
If so, perhaps there is a shortage of white/blue collar types, especially foreigners.
Boys must become men and assume duty and responsibility, however there is very little appeal in a grey office cubicle.
Life is too short.
Thanks for your comment! Many Japanese women were raised with the idea that 'you should marry someone who is financially stable.' The older generation still believes that women should be taken care of by men, rather than being independent. However, times have changed, and now women also pursue careers, so this way of thinking doesn't really fit in today's world. That being said, I think many younger Japanese people were born during a time of economic decline, so their mindset tends to be more conservative.
That's the thing everywhere. women tend to look for a stable guy. Also, in japan most of the women are not highly educated, don't get me wrong but because idea of being a housewife after marriage makes the higher education kind of becomes redundant. even some Japanese university tend to screw the admission for these women even if they score higher. See patriarchy. In work also they favor man over women.
So, In Japan i have seen most end up being in marriage out of tiredness and later cheating become common after certain amount of time.
Thanks for sharing this video I guess here in the US is not so different Most of my experiences in dating apps, our bed But I haven’t last hope maybe one day I will find a serious woman To make a family event so I hope
Thanks for your video. I enjoyed watching it. How about your own experience with Japanese and Foreigner？Did you date foreigner guy？How was your experience and what is your suggestion on the basis of your experience. I would love to hear that too.
Thank you for your comment and I'll make a video about it sometime soon. 😀
That would be wonderful. Please send me the link once you completed your video Mana
Probably the same issue with anyone dating anyone else. It seems like a good idea at the beginning. Later it turns out that it wasn't a good idea.
Thank you for sharing your thought.☺️
I believe people that dont seek love first always waste time and never have good sex either, unless you are ready to marry the person, dont step into the bed!
Having a japanese girlfriend or wife would be a dream, it is why I picked up learning the language. Hopefully I can meet one of these lovely ladies and even move to Japan in such case!
You’re right! Jumping into bed without love is like trying to make sushi without a slice of fish-something’s definitely missing! Good luck on your quest for a Japanese soulmate!
日本の文化が大好きで日本人と結婚したいと思います。
それでも、日本に住んでませんし、どうやって日本人の女性と自然に出会うのかよく分かりません。来月、3ヶ月くらい日本に行くつもりですし、日本人の女性と出会いたくて告白したいです。日本語をもう４年間勉強してますので、日本語は問題じゃないと思います。
私には遠距離恋愛でも大丈夫ですが、薄い恋愛でしたくないです。何かアドバイスを教えてくれませんか？私はアメリカ人です。
Thank you for your comment! 😊 In my next video, I’ll be talking about how to meet Japanese women in natural ways. By the way, it seems like you might be interested in getting a Japanese girlfriend! Make sure to check out my previous video, ‘Winning a Japanese Girlfriend...,’ and more to learn more about Japanese culture and tendencies.
Miwa ❤ I think I am in love with you!❤❤❤❤🌸🌼🌸🌸🌼🌸🌼😊
Sad day to be Japanese guys 😂
😂！
I prefer to choose one woman and focus all my energy on that relationship = KISS
The conversation turns to sex so she decides to quit ? Hmmm.
As a guy, I want to have sex first to see if I might love the girl.
A girl might want to see if she can love the guy first before she has sex.
Men love SEX. Women LOVE sex.
But these days with dating apps any refusal for sex is likely to leave you alone.
But I've seen so many examples of women using men for free meals on dates, and 'if you're rich, I'm single' that I'm not impressed with dating these days. Luckily I'm happily partnered already.
Work on yourself and others will always come to you. You will never have to reach out to others on shifty dating apps!
35 is old. Not even 40 year old men want 35 year old women.
Thank you for your comment. Could you share me the reasons with me?
Oooh perfecto timing YT, lol. Hello Miwa! You have really good English i think! and a Kawaii voice!! So true about Foreign men using apps for Sex. The dating scene in USA is pretty much Dead and fake love. My generation. I heard Bumble is somewhat used in Japanes for dating, and is decently good. But anyway, I like older women, always have. 35-50. Also because this is the age of women I have only experience with. 🤭The only one i dated was 21 for 2 years but the rest was 37 - 55. Hehe. Saying this because, I almost will not date my age (20-30) in the USA. The experience in the USA is horrible. I am 26. I would LOVE to meet someone there and Possibly move and Become a Citizen in time. Not much here for me how i see it.
I heard in Asia/china for women over a certain age with no children there is an "Expiration date?" Is that a thing there in Japan?. The traditional way ofmeeting is a BIG yes for me. Though i am a bit shy. Who isn't. Would you advise me on what you didn't mention in the video or in general from reading my comment that i could look out for or Improve on?. I definitely prefer meeting in person or even the in language learning apps (starting as friends). As for Casual "talking" to multiple well. I only make time for those who deserve it or have made their connection & true personality vibe/common interests with me.
P.S. I am learning Japanese so this helps a lot for both parties and NO over 35 is not old. haha.
Hoping my comment isn't too long. I like to talk. But know when to stop. :)
Thanks for posting!!!! Following your Insta.
You are very beautiful and intelligent.
可愛いですね
コメントありがとう！
I am interested in your video and I want to find a Japanese woman for a serious relationship for men and women I am very excited to meet a woman Beautiful Japanese like you, I love being around you, would you be willing to be friends with me and celebrate the pleasures together? I love being around you 😍❤️
Great video! If possible, could you please do a video on what Japanese woman think about Indian men and whether they would date and marry them? Thank you.
Our body structures our totally different!✨ An the religious believes are also totally different too!✨ Have a very impressive beautiful 😍 day.😍👏❤
I love women with limited English and limited Spanish and if they can't hear well that's a plus cause neither do I..Bushido Hinode Tanaka...yours very truly Alfonso Cantu USMC
Native Alaskan and the Red deer 🦌 scent native American indigenous reservation of very proud tribal of the very ancient warrior people of north America!✨ Are the very closes V blood DNA to the very proud Asian people!✨ Because of the very ancient ice age land bridge travel roots between the two continent's of Asia and the two America's!✨ The new born baby will look very impressive beautiful 😍 of exactly perfectly as of the father and mother DNA!✨ We" are very proud ancient warrior people!✨ My great inspiring wisdom for today!✨ Have a very impressive beautiful 😍 day.😍❤
@charlesbullghost5491 there are no native Alaskans. The reason the DNA is similar is because Asians colonized the Americas.
@@docsavage8640 Wrong, there were people in Alaska thousands of years before Asians moved over the Bering bridge, stop repeating outdated info.