Coronavirus VI: Testing: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
  • As experts encourage widespread coronavirus testing, John Oliver discusses exactly how much testing the US has done, the difference between diagnostic and antibody tests, and why we need to do more.
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ความคิดเห็น • 19K

  • @Schlachti10
    @Schlachti10 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1596

    Well there is a reason the German health minister laughed when the CNBC reporter claimed that the US has a strong health care system.

    • @A_annoying_rodent
      @A_annoying_rodent 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Man kann über die derzeitige Regierung sagen was man will aber ich bin mir sicher mit anderen in Führungspositionen hätte es böse ins a
      Auge gehen können.
      Und hier das obligatorische "GERMAN MEDICINE IS THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD!!"

    • @Ihaveanamenowtaken
      @Ihaveanamenowtaken 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Schlachti10 Where! I need to see it.

    • @callmcr4654
      @callmcr4654 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@A_annoying_rodent bro chill mal deine base, omg. Aber sonst stimm ich dir zu, deutschland machts echt gut lmao. Zum Glück haben wir keinen Trump als Staatsoberhaupt. Hab heute wieder schule btw, was schön ist :) .

    • @derworfnet
      @derworfnet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@A_annoying_rodent Ehrlich gesagt, hatte ich von der Großen Koalition in ihrem letzten Jahr nicht mehr viel erwartet, aber sie haben sich überraschend gut zusammengerissen.

    • @byebye5907
      @byebye5907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ich glaube wir haben also die Regierung hat einiges richtig gemacht aber viieles auch falsch oder macht es nach wie vor falsch. Und die Bevölkerung hat sich zur Mehrheit an die einfachen Regeln gehalten.

  • @ribhavthakur137
    @ribhavthakur137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2200

    If there's a movie next year detailing how well America handled the pandemic and how it was at the forefront of the global effort, I am going to LOSE MY SHIT.

    • @targaryenXoolf
      @targaryenXoolf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      well that movie will begin with Namaste Trump to gain attention of Indian audiences.

    • @titaniumteddybear
      @titaniumteddybear 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Oh it's definitely going to happen. It's their MO.

    • @jocelynjuarez6975
      @jocelynjuarez6975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Imagine if we would of had a zombie apocalypse, we would of been fucked since day 1

    • @richardadams4928
      @richardadams4928 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Look, you KNOW there will be. At minimum, overstuffed pillow Sean Hannity will produce one. Might as well start mentally preparing now. 🤔

    • @4IN14094
      @4IN14094 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @@targaryenXoolf Hang on for a minute, you want to steal the moment of epic 240fps slow mo shots of a test tube being dropped onto the floor on a super top secret genetic laboratory in Wuhan? Not a chance!😏

  • @marlo8528
    @marlo8528 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1832

    How do you skip hunting for deer, rabbit, etc and go straight to homicide and cannibalism?

    • @justmenate
      @justmenate 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      So that you're sensationalized and you get free advertisement on other shows ... I guess... Or he's really that insane, which, nowadays seems to be the norm considering people are going to re-elect Trump.

    • @scan4707
      @scan4707 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      He's too lazy to do that and his neighbors wouldn't suspect.

    • @connorh2215
      @connorh2215 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Nate Smith they won’t if we actually vote for Biden

    • @sawahtb
      @sawahtb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Did you think the far right was buying guns to hunt deer? 😂

    • @majinvegeta6364
      @majinvegeta6364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Because he was always just looking for an excuse

  • @brightoff
    @brightoff 4 ปีที่แล้ว +751

    The first thing I wanna see when this quarantine is lifted is Adam Driver just showing up at John’s show.

    • @psychicbyinternet
      @psychicbyinternet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      And then they make out. I mean, did I say that?

    • @karroten
      @karroten 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@psychicbyinternet Into it.

    • @jamesflynn4951
      @jamesflynn4951 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Doing a full officer and a gentleman skit

    • @JoeyisDREADful
      @JoeyisDREADful 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@psychicbyinternet Same tho

    • @DoctorWhoKage
      @DoctorWhoKage 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I love how he exchanged Olsen twins jokes for Adam Driver bdsm fantasies jokes.

  • @jacksparrowismydaddy
    @jacksparrowismydaddy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +715

    I can just see Adam Driver sitting on the couch watching tv like "why does he want me to hurt him?"

    • @retroraptressmcdeborahjane806
      @retroraptressmcdeborahjane806 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      jacksparrowismydaddy I see Adam Driver seeing John Oliver, shrugging and saying, "Ok."

    • @onkelpappkov2666
      @onkelpappkov2666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Grandpa Driver: "Have you seen this John Oliver? He is a riot."
      Adam Driver: "Show me again, grandfather."
      Grandpa Driver: "After Dinner, boy. You need to eat those vegetables first."
      Adam Driver: "I will finish what you started."

    • @ChrisLeeW00
      @ChrisLeeW00 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      "I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it"

    • @rhokanson8514
      @rhokanson8514 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hurt him good. 😉

    • @phantomspaceman
      @phantomspaceman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      There is a quota of one homosexual non-sequitur per episode.

  • @JeremyDHeath1995
    @JeremyDHeath1995 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1299

    Resting “do you know who my father is” face is a condition we don’t talk about enough lmfao

    • @meghandillard9079
      @meghandillard9079 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      his father will hear about this

    • @msbv...
      @msbv... 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Also known as the Malfoy syndrome

    • @wildebt
      @wildebt 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/jUbNsdiQe0I/w-d-xo.html Watch some actual journalism..

    • @airena1449
      @airena1449 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly what you think when you see him

    • @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475
      @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yes. We do. His father was put in prison for financial crimes by Cris Christie of N.J. -That apple skimmed the tree trunk on way down.

  • @BBradshawProductions
    @BBradshawProductions 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1480

    This coronavirus crisis showed me how many people are incompetent and stupid in America, and it's frustrating living here during this time.

    • @abbycross90210
      @abbycross90210 4 ปีที่แล้ว +121

      Definitely showed me who not to trust and who doesn't give a shit about other people. And they're usually people proclaiming their love for Jesus in the same breath. Total hypocrites.

    • @marianmarinescu4329
      @marianmarinescu4329 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      It's the same all over the planet , i hope all of us realize that it's a globalization and the stupids are winning the battle. It's the same everywhere keep that in mind there are no different countries we are all the same .SHEEPLE. This is the time when it's more obvious then ever that not even the people who are in the highest functions , HAVE NO CONTROL AND NO POWER , the power is in the hands of the greedy corporate invertebrate scumbags , and that's just THE AMERICAN DREAM. i'm from a small country in europe

    • @jeanpatrickmeunier8493
      @jeanpatrickmeunier8493 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      hey! Welcome to the other side of the world where we see that country as you see it.... but for decades now!

    • @lostbutfreesoul
      @lostbutfreesoul 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Too many Americans believe the best type of government is an ineffective one, incompetent and weak.
      Before I came to this country myself I used to believe that was just a joke, maybe the mentality of a small number of nutcases that occasionally took over a national park and nothing more. It was only after meeting some otherwise reasonable people did I come to realize how deep into the American psyche that runs. Every group contains these 'never trust the government' types, all with their own reasons as to why and all ignoring any positive things government brings. As if thee people grow up being told that something bad will happen to them, personally, if their own government isn't brought down every chance they get.
      Saddest part of all:
      It hasn't stopped the things they fear from happening... America is a police state without any of the social benefits!

    • @ra_8072
      @ra_8072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Very frustrating when people are literally picketing and protesting a virus🙄 we hit a new low!

  • @Teag_Brohman15
    @Teag_Brohman15 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1427

    if people aren't happy about wearing masks in public, they're really not going to like the ventilators

    • @jasminmemic
      @jasminmemic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ventilators are proven to worsen the effects actually. That's why the death toll was so high in countries with great healthcare, plus giving 4 different prescriptions were given in Italy which lowered the imune system. That's because doctors were in panic because they wanted to help but overdid it. Lancet has peer reviewed research papers on both of those.

    • @sarina1234ful
      @sarina1234ful 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @@jasminmemic even more reason to take preventive measures like wearing a mask and staying home

    • @OurDysfunctionalBlog
      @OurDysfunctionalBlog 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      well lucky for them there aren't any

    • @MutteringCondolences
      @MutteringCondolences 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      *Patriotic choking noises*

    • @loganiushere
      @loganiushere 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@jasminmemic wtf?! sars-cov-2 (the name of the virus that causes covid-19) causes pneumonia, so how are you going to keep someone breathing without a ventilator? also, I would like to see that lancet paper.

  • @marthawashington2112
    @marthawashington2112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1949

    Does Alex Jones not understand that his neighbours may eat him before he has the chance to eat them? Especially now that they know he has years worth of food stocked up!

    • @wendysgarden4283
      @wendysgarden4283 4 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      Yep. Just check out "prepper" and "pantry" on youtube, and those people even sometimes leave their addresses on their "about" page! lmao. Brilliant planning, "survivalists."

    • @flankspeed
      @flankspeed 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      His neighbours could gang up too. There's plenty Alex Jones to go around.

    • @YouMyFwend
      @YouMyFwend 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Alex Jones IS years worth of food stocked up, check that gut boi

    • @dosmastrify
      @dosmastrify 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      MARTHA USE YOUR HEAD!! HIS NEIGHBORS DONT WANT TO GET MAD COW DISEASE!!! (So they can't eat him)

    • @Transferhell
      @Transferhell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Of course he doesn't. He said he has superpowers. And the fucking thing is "honesty"? Yep, he's the kind of man that thinks he's so special that no one could ever do what he is saying he's capable of. He's basically the guy that says he's so good at CoD, but had never, ever played with someone else or played online.

  • @DankNSpank
    @DankNSpank 4 ปีที่แล้ว +777

    Covid has exposed just how utterly broken this country is.

    • @irgyn
      @irgyn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      to many on the outside, that was clear long before corona

    • @justsaying3729
      @justsaying3729 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Yes, to the world but not to intelligent people, News outlet, Congress who Impeached him and all the protest against Trump from day one. The Women's March, etc. The Reality of Extremely Poor healthcare has become more Real but it's been there since the old Congress and Senate tried to Repeal & Replace Obamacare without "any" back up plan. imagine eliminating people from healthcare with "Pre-existing" Conditions. If this doesn't wake up the people in this country.....nothing will. Vote Trump Out in November....he's a Lying Manic.

    • @SMarti018
      @SMarti018 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      To many pussies

    • @annnee6818
      @annnee6818 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Nah. It's just demonstrated it for the several thousandth time, and Trump supporters still don't know it.

    • @mr1enrollment
      @mr1enrollment 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@SMarti018 So Scott, would you please state more clearly exactly what you mean. "To many pussies", says nothing about the topic of 'testing', I would like to understand you. Or would more than three words stress your ability to communicate?

  • @AlfredSoul
    @AlfredSoul 4 ปีที่แล้ว +462

    The "resting do-you-know-who-my-father-is-face" is a term that I will from now on include in my day to day vocabulary.

    • @Iwasrightallalong
      @Iwasrightallalong 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      As soon as I heard it I immediately thought of about three or four people who needed to hear that in real life.

    • @AlfredSoul
      @AlfredSoul 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Iwasrightallalong My thoughts exactly; that really is an accurate description.

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      GAGAGAGAGAGAGA I just saw something very unpretty! I looked in the mirror! GAGAGAGAGAGAGA!! But I am the cool TH-camr with two hazardously hot girlfriends so IT is all good! Thanks for you attention dear alfred

    • @juliagray9219
      @juliagray9219 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Draco Malfoy in a nutshell

    • @trentearley6605
      @trentearley6605 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      After John said that I had to google who Jared Kushner's dad was, this is what came up: "Charles Kushner is an American real estate developer. He founded Kushner Companies in 1985. In 2005, he was convicted of illegal campaign contributions, tax evasion, and witness tampering." Like father, like son, like father-in-law.

  • @BearTheFourth
    @BearTheFourth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +471

    Ooof, this only just became available in Australia recently and Kushner's speech has not aged well.

    • @hailygunn1449
      @hailygunn1449 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      This whole month hasn't aged well.

    • @neojc128
      @neojc128 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      neither has Kushner himself

    • @hedgehog3180
      @hedgehog3180 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah that "by june" comment really could not have been more wrong.

    • @heyysimone
      @heyysimone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      We are on i think day 18 of no new covid19 cases in new zealand.

    • @kermithebudgie
      @kermithebudgie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Very frustrating that we can't access current JO videos here in OZ. 😠

  • @BigDickMcFlick
    @BigDickMcFlick 4 ปีที่แล้ว +324

    Hearing Patrick yell "TESTING!!" honestly made my day.

    • @BigDickMcFlick
      @BigDickMcFlick 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      LUL he even said Patrick was ahead of his time. hah got me with a double made my day.

    • @GHOSTrex1324
      @GHOSTrex1324 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Coronabob viruspants

    • @amehak1922
      @amehak1922 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      President Patrick Starfish would be an improvement over the Orange idiot

    • @noejokegaming
      @noejokegaming 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@amehak1922 No Mr. President, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

    • @TheTrueBrawler
      @TheTrueBrawler 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@amehak1922
      There's 100 people to have ever lived maximum that would make a worse president than Trump, and that list includes people like Joseph, Adolf, Vladimir, and Jong-Un. You all know what four people have those first names.

  • @abdimohammed92
    @abdimohammed92 4 ปีที่แล้ว +596

    At this point, John seems like a movie character. That one remaining newscaster who still has electricity and is hanging on the air during the Apocalypse

    • @aflockofbeagles8219
      @aflockofbeagles8219 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      "If you're out there, if anyone can hear me..."

    • @ives6622
      @ives6622 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      He is like that newscaster expositioning everyone how dire the situation is in the beginning of every zombie apocalypse movie.

    • @jesterclown3713
      @jesterclown3713 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Isn't that just jack of society of virtue

    • @redofthewolves
      @redofthewolves 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He's the radio announcer in every fallout game at this point

    • @julienzubkov9991
      @julienzubkov9991 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      If and when we truly hit apocalypse conditions, meaning more severe than what is going on now (God forbid), I would expect nothing less than for John to be there tellin everyone how it is

  • @akshaykurale1475
    @akshaykurale1475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1351

    Jared somehow looks like a 40 year old who hasn't been through puberty yet.

    • @Squirrelanditsnutz
      @Squirrelanditsnutz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Akshay Kurale he looks like a 40 y/o virgin. Like the kid at school who doesn’t hang with his definition of the poors (anyone with less that 10 million dollars in bank) at his private catholic school. Like a guy who’s disgusted by the thought of bbq. Like a guy who doesn’t believe in consent and thinks wife’s should look sexy and do not need to be good people.

    • @duyle-ej6ty
      @duyle-ej6ty 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      i just don't know what you are talking about. He looks old. Not as old as a laborer, but not young for a rich do-nothing guy.

    • @ShannaCarlson525
      @ShannaCarlson525 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Just so you know, this made me shoot coffee out my nose. It was painful. My shirt is stained. I'm not even mad.

    • @Squirrelanditsnutz
      @Squirrelanditsnutz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Shanna Wheeler I wish that I reacted like that when I ruin things by accident.

    • @pshaw8406
      @pshaw8406 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes!

  • @DracoMalfoyable
    @DracoMalfoyable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +786

    Spoiler alert, Jared, it’s July and the country is definitely not rockin

    • @derekrequiem4359
      @derekrequiem4359 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I have a hunch that we won't be rockin in August either.

    • @DracoMalfoyable
      @DracoMalfoyable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@derekrequiem4359 September isn't looking too good for rockin either

    • @harpastanman8952
      @harpastanman8952 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      If we're the boat, then 2020 is definitely rocking it.

    • @Jivolt
      @Jivolt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Spoiler alert, no one is surprised that Jared is an idiot.

    • @cmorris9494
      @cmorris9494 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      2021 anyone?

  • @jlshoem
    @jlshoem 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1544

    “When you’re dead, you don’t know you’re dead. The pain is only felt by others. The same thing happens when you’re stupid.” - Ricky Gervais

  • @Raiga345
    @Raiga345 4 ปีที่แล้ว +481

    "I will eat my neighbors." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    i think property value near Alex Jones is about to plummet.

    • @DanTheMailman330
      @DanTheMailman330 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He looks and acts like he already has...

    • @gkm2928
      @gkm2928 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      As is his fat belly

    • @jophima4564
      @jophima4564 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Let's be honest Alex Jones wasn't being serious, it's an obvious joke.

    • @ainumahtar
      @ainumahtar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I'm fairly sure property values near Jones' place have been dropping for a while anyway ^^ Even aside from his radical bullshit spreading he's also caught up in A LOT of lawsuits ranging from pretty minor scammy things to actually getting people killed by selling supplements that have insane levels of lead in them...

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The first time that "There goes the neighborhood" will be the proper response.

  • @toadjiang7626
    @toadjiang7626 4 ปีที่แล้ว +299

    Jared Kushner always strikes me as a low-tech robot who can't even pass the Turing test.

    • @JennySimon206
      @JennySimon206 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      😆

    • @paraboo8994
      @paraboo8994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's so spot on 😂

    • @blackblurable
      @blackblurable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And you know trump would avoid it because it has “pass” and “test” In that statement

    • @tracymetherell8744
      @tracymetherell8744 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hahahahahaha! So true!

    • @MrGamer1992
      @MrGamer1992 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He probably has trouble passing the CAPTCHA test on a website too

  • @Smiirffable
    @Smiirffable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1840

    The irony is Alex Jones is probably the most calorie dense human in his neighbourhood lol

    • @stevencooke6451
      @stevencooke6451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      He'd be toxic though.

    • @Raztax
      @Raztax 4 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      The most intellectually dense in his neighbourhood too.

    • @spritemon98
      @spritemon98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      He'd probably taste like bear meat

    • @dumbfounded298
      @dumbfounded298 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      haha good one

    • @dasalekhya
      @dasalekhya 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Jones is rich in nitrates & sulphur like *any manure*
      they should *bury him alive* in his garden & plant potatoes... will grow fast.

  • @mike.hidalgo
    @mike.hidalgo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +374

    If any one of us failed this hard in a job this important with lives on the line, we'd be in jail for gross criminal negligence.

    • @olenickel6013
      @olenickel6013 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Just imagine if the Dems had gone with universal healthcare guy as their candidate.

    • @ra_8072
      @ra_8072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Absolutely. Family name would never to be mentioned again

    • @simbamartens7192
      @simbamartens7192 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Let's not forget that Jared Kushner is the guy helping Saudi engage in the butchery taking place in Yemen which has left it even more vulnerable to the pandemic. Yemen may be splitting in two permanently. There's a great video analysing the Yemen secession crisis as well as a background explainer of Yemen's Civil War and US involvement in it: th-cam.com/video/oqpHV3xBCBE/w-d-xo.html

    • @satanbrony9235
      @satanbrony9235 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yup

    • @mr.videogame3433
      @mr.videogame3433 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Unfortunately, the Congress isn't exactly sane right now!

  • @lazysloth9060
    @lazysloth9060 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1753

    Confirmed: If a zombie apocalypse did happen, the United States would be the first to go.

    • @Shadowdoc26
      @Shadowdoc26 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      Lazy Sloth now we know how the walking dead started.

    • @vsk5391
      @vsk5391 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Would be the only country to go

    • @kennethmcgregor5953
      @kennethmcgregor5953 4 ปีที่แล้ว +206

      All apocalypse movies take place in the USA because the rest of the world just learned how to deal with the zombies and moved on

    • @jeniferlopez3057
      @jeniferlopez3057 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Go big or go home

    • @mcmunhuu6713
      @mcmunhuu6713 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Kenneth McGregor lol

  • @cptn.penguin902
    @cptn.penguin902 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1140

    I was NOT prepared for that Spongebob clip, holy shit that made me laugh

    • @silver7215
      @silver7215 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Cptn. Penguin spongebob truly is everywhere

    • @DjProdigy909
      @DjProdigy909 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That had me dying 😂😂😂

    • @LockonKubi
      @LockonKubi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I wasn't prepared for the Animal Crossing reference.

    • @josephperez4319
      @josephperez4319 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@silver7215 it's true. My wife and I literally used to quote Spongebob pretty much every day for years. Incidentally, our wedding was Spongebob themed.

    • @macewindu9100
      @macewindu9100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@josephperez4319 is that you joe biden?

  • @SomeRandomPersonOnYoutube
    @SomeRandomPersonOnYoutube 4 ปีที่แล้ว +618

    I hate how there’s like no comments about the little spongebob and Patrick part. That was genius.

    • @clubredken13
      @clubredken13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Ppl are more interested in Alex Jones comment that he wants to eat out his neighbours ass.

    • @dustbunny6381
      @dustbunny6381 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Tbh its really just crawling further and further into more youtube-like humor rather than the more structured stuff you see on tv. Just nonsequiters, patching in clips from pop culture where you don't expect them and... Well the amount of sex jokes are already there, but now we just gotta wait for him to bring up vore or some equally weird fetish lmao

    • @jamesdobson1802
      @jamesdobson1802 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Hilarious

    • @mollymac9108
      @mollymac9108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@dustbunny6381 you're predictions have come true at RatEroticaFanCam.com hahahahah

    • @FLdancer00
      @FLdancer00 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It made me miss Ren & Stimpy

  • @ericabaffa3469
    @ericabaffa3469 4 ปีที่แล้ว +610

    "Jared Kushner and his resting 'Do you know who my father is?' face"
    I have never heard him described more accurately, I'm stealing this!

    • @PrincessLorelei
      @PrincessLorelei 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      At first I had thought that people with stupid emo haircuts were the people that had the most punchable faces on Earth. Then Kushner entered the scene.

    • @garymingy8671
      @garymingy8671 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good idea , absolutely nobody who matters will know , ...testing 123

    • @porkchop4401
      @porkchop4401 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I sleep easy without thinking about him because you know damn well Ivanka fucks, just not him.

    • @Orwelliandissident
      @Orwelliandissident 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good thing Kushner shaped up and got a proper haircut, just look how shabby he was in his high school yearbook pic. images.app.goo.gl/icko9beU8CwZimhw5 Now that haircut is a "Great success"!

    • @Crowley9
      @Crowley9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      His father Charles Kushner is a convicted felon and disbarred lawyer, that's who.

  • @amandeb2629
    @amandeb2629 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1231

    In ten years or more, I’m totally buying a history book so I can see how historians write this down.

    • @mariusg8824
      @mariusg8824 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I need to create a reminder for that. Maybe in hindsight, this decade makes any sense.

    • @stellaperez6883
      @stellaperez6883 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Sadly, people will forget the mistakes and will make them again.

    • @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475
      @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      "Once upon a time there was a country called America where a dim-witted orange ogre lived..."

    • @kaeleastlord
      @kaeleastlord 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      2020 just won't be mentioned... ever

    • @82566
      @82566 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      The year of 2020 , i hope ppl are writing their experiences NOW because personal accounts will be where future generations hopefully can search themselves,find truth & learn from our present everyday citizens who survived, struggled, worked as an essential, lost loved one s ,saw a Government they agreed or disagreed with & why & acts or heroics of compassion & unity ,amidst the sugar-coating if at all mentions potentially presented within their history classes .

  •  4 ปีที่แล้ว +684

    English & American problem routine :
    1. There is no problem
    2. There is a problem, but it's too small for us to care
    3. There is a problem, but we need time to deal with it
    4. There is a problem, but we cannot do anything about it.
    5. It's too late to do anything about the problem.
    6. The problem has already passed, and we've so we don't need to do anything anymore.
    7. Go back to square 1

    • @patj5330
      @patj5330 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Jan Sitkowski love it

    • @patlynch6517
      @patlynch6517 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Step 8 -
      And if all else fails, don't forget to blame the Chinese, or refugees, blame anybody ekse!

    • @DarthObscurity
      @DarthObscurity 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @ Overall, covid IS on China (on top of MANY other things it KNOWINGLY does all over the world). How each country managed it's response is on the politicians.

    •  4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@DarthObscurity
      I don't say it isn't. I'm saying everyone blames others for their own mistakes, all the time, because why take blame, if you can blame someone else?

    • @corvus2512
      @corvus2512 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Im not really sure that applies to the english in this case, i thought they were doing better than us

  • @MatthewScammell
    @MatthewScammell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +239

    0:49 - *_But that is called "cannibalism", my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies._*

    • @willowstapley1542
      @willowstapley1542 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂

    • @DarkLord3709
      @DarkLord3709 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Unfortunately, Alex Jones is not most societies

    • @TheNinthGeneration1
      @TheNinthGeneration1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      KingCaino Plays there are cannibal tribes and those count as societies

    • @whichcache2517
      @whichcache2517 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@TheNinthGeneration1 I hear most of them are ritualistic cannibals, where instead of hunting people down and eating them or whatever, they just eat their departed family members as a means of them living on within them or something like that.

    • @TheNinthGeneration1
      @TheNinthGeneration1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      SuperStachey eightnineeightnine I understand that, but they’re still eating human flesh

  • @marvelous3999
    @marvelous3999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +256

    The incompetence of this government depresses me.

    • @KatieCottingham
      @KatieCottingham 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      You just expressed the sentiments of every educated American with a single sentence. Impressive, yet still depressing.

    • @jimthompson4132
      @jimthompson4132 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It should scare the f..k out of you.

    • @lau6351
      @lau6351 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Depresses the entire world

    • @BenBruben
      @BenBruben 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      AMEN man...! Sorry to hear that ur country has morons in power...!
      My country aint far behind to be honest...! It sucks...!

    • @NewMateo
      @NewMateo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I feel really bad for my american brethren. Im in Canada and have literarally never felt more pride than I have watching my government handle this properly. This whole trump thing is a disaster and I literally cannot understand anyone who still supports him. He is going to have hundreds of thousands die and still pat himself on the back than show a shred of emotion for the victims and their families.

  • @Sibs
    @Sibs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +654

    John Oliver's days without lusting over Adam Driver:
    0

    • @stinky3718
      @stinky3718 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      A whole new record.

    • @wildebt
      @wildebt 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/jUbNsdiQe0I/w-d-xo.html Watch some actual journalism..

    • @Theusualsaretoblame
      @Theusualsaretoblame 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It resets every second

    • @wcraiderevo8078
      @wcraiderevo8078 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Consistency!

    • @crisfield4364
      @crisfield4364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@toooldforthisshte1681 You can't expect better from someone who thinks John Oliver is an actual journalist. Granted, comedians are more trustworthy than some 'journalists' but still.

  • @EMSqueen88
    @EMSqueen88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    OH MY GOD THANK YOU!, as a physician I cannot tell you how many patients have asked to be antibody tested and I cannot tell you how many times I have to tell them this does not mean they will not get the infection again and actually may end up mounting a response that is worse then the first exposure/infection, though historically we would not expect that but we just DONT KNOW!. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this show discussing the risks and benefits of testing and types of testing. I wish we could broad cast this show during prime time but somehow I imagine it would still go unheard.

    • @girlgeniusNYC
      @girlgeniusNYC 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Thank you, Doctor, for all that you do!!

    • @rossbeef1
      @rossbeef1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Any other suggestion? If you were leading the country what would you do you do for this?

    • @joeschmo498
      @joeschmo498 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am happy you are not my doctor. Only North Korea reported people got the virus a second time, but just retracted that a day or two ago saying those people did in fact have something other than covid-19 the second time around, plus you are using John Oliver, the propagandists to further your medical training. Scary! Covid is less deadly that the 2017 flu. They are inflating covid numbers with death from many different causes which is easily proven by the plummeting numbers of heart failure, pneumonia and diabetic related death in 2020 compared with previous years.

    • @Hope4all2
      @Hope4all2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Joe Schmo 👈🏾Bot

    • @DebbieMcVegan
      @DebbieMcVegan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@joeschmo498 really this is not the message you should be putting out at this time out of your imagination. why are you even here?

  • @luqmannajib5483
    @luqmannajib5483 4 ปีที่แล้ว +558

    I'm watching this in June... America surely is rocking ATM

    • @Keithider
      @Keithider 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      If only you could see late June. Those numbers are going up!

    • @dreamcatcherben8214
      @dreamcatcherben8214 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      as am I

    • @Kage-jk4pj
      @Kage-jk4pj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      It's july and you guys are breaking coronavirus records. You just hit 50k infections in ONE day. And that's just those who got tested the real number is way higher.

    • @diannshowers9129
      @diannshowers9129 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Im watching this on July 6th and people are dropping like flies

    • @justsomeoneelse5942
      @justsomeoneelse5942 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The July comment aged even worse

  • @westtech001
    @westtech001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +182

    I feel like you *have* to remember that, during the period when testing could have really helped, Donald Trump was talking about not wanting patients to come off cruise ships because that would make his sick numbers go up.
    Keep that in mind - he wasn't worried about the number of sick people - he was worried about *acknowledging* the number of sick people. His attitude was not someone that cared about people dying or had the *slightest* interest in having more tests available.

    • @johnfriet9775
      @johnfriet9775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      And later he bragged about taking the cruiseship in ( "nobody wanted to take them...but I did the right thing") and dont forget there where a lot of us citizens onboard

    • @snetmotnosrorb3946
      @snetmotnosrorb3946 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Of course. He's a textbook narcissist. From that perspective his actions and statements are completely logical.

    • @amberandrews8969
      @amberandrews8969 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He drug his heels on testing for precisely that reason!! His numbers would go up...

    • @sdfkjgh
      @sdfkjgh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@snetmotnosrorb3946: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malignant_narcissism

  • @bigdoggo6337
    @bigdoggo6337 4 ปีที่แล้ว +622

    I saw a reddit post saying that America’s handling of the coronavirus is like watching a car crash in slow motion and that’s scarily true

    • @bababooeybababooey
      @bababooeybababooey 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I think it's more of a hyperlapse of cars crashing into each other in the highway

    • @Suzaku4489
      @Suzaku4489 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Watching a car crash in slow motion is America on a good day. This is more like watching a "Best of" montage of the world's deadliest crashes on repeat for several months now.

    • @commonsense31
      @commonsense31 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Suzaku4489 years,

    • @wartome3196
      @wartome3196 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lemon Lols how so? Seems like it’s not as bad as people think.

    • @nicosteffen364
      @nicosteffen364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Very old joke:
      2 guys are sitting in the cinema, the one tells the other "that guy there driving in the dessert will crash into the tree there"
      "i dont believe that!"
      " he will, watch"
      the driver crashes into a lonely tree in the dessert.
      "see, i told you, i watched that movie before!"
      "well i watched it also before, i just didnt think he does the same failure a second time!"

  • @WeylandLabs
    @WeylandLabs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    Who else was waiting for John Oliver's episode this week. At this point its therapeutic as Americans to hear this man speak facts.

    • @TheVivianable
      @TheVivianable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      For some non-americans like myself, it's just fascinating to see display of free speech

    • @WeylandLabs
      @WeylandLabs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@TheVivianable There will be a time when greed the of the world will be expunged. And from that, all of us will be united as a human race and no more boundaries will exist. Why ? - because its our only way to progress and evolve and humans. If we don't our species is doomed, because of ignorance and fear of the unknown.

    • @bornbredbermudian7643
      @bornbredbermudian7643 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm not American, but this guy is helping me keep my sanity through this quarantine.😆

    • @tonycotto7106
      @tonycotto7106 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      John Oliver is the best, but it's disappointing that he has such a low bar to clear.

  • @kirapokelmann618
    @kirapokelmann618 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    "She actually grabbed my head,like we we're lovers"
    "She pulled my brain out of my nostril"
    Speechless

  • @borginnydussan3855
    @borginnydussan3855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2174

    It's interesting how Alex Jones prefers eating his neighbours over the food and supplements that he sells online

    • @HezekiahCrocker
      @HezekiahCrocker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      His true super power is that he prefers eating his neighbors ass over food.

    • @infinitysteppingstone331
      @infinitysteppingstone331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Because in comparison, the neighbors are more nutritious.

    • @BullShitThat
      @BullShitThat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Don't worry, he's only planning on doing this, YEARS from now

    • @abbycross90210
      @abbycross90210 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He says in 2-3 years he'll have to eat his neighbors, because he thinks this is the beginning of the end of society, not because we're in lockdown now.

    • @ammarabatool9910
      @ammarabatool9910 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @andrew miller the drive needs to be sent by post, while an email sent by any device should have sufficed

  • @rochester212
    @rochester212 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2771

    America 2016: President Trump will make America Great Again!
    America 2020: Honey fire up the grill, we're going to eat the Johnsons.

    • @9Rollotomasi
      @9Rollotomasi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +221

      In Trump's defense, Alex Jones would have likely eaten his neighbors under any sitting President.

    • @lucast2212
      @lucast2212 4 ปีที่แล้ว +191

      @luca kro Looking at all this from Germany it is really, really hard to believe how bipartisan the US is while the dead bodies pile up. I Don't Get it.

    • @Acrylescent
      @Acrylescent 4 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      Lucas T trust me friend. Majority of Americans don’t get it either.

    • @zackfiat607
      @zackfiat607 4 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@lucast2212 I blame the president that purposely and consciously alienated a portion of its own people just to humour his own base, I genuinely can't find Trump supporter that able to argue Trump viability with only his own merits without point fingers to the other side. it's boil down to they're (arguably) worsts and just plain stupid troll and name calling

    • @Argosh
      @Argosh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@Acrylescent yet you still voted the clowns in. Every country gets the government it deserves.

  • @amandasmith593
    @amandasmith593 4 ปีที่แล้ว +225

    "That guy was really ahead of his time."
    No, that guy was Patrick.

  • @stevencampbell7394
    @stevencampbell7394 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    God, this was when we "only" had 60,000 deaths in the U.S.?
    Now we have, what, 600,000???

  • @Haenks
    @Haenks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +419

    Am I the only one who is surprised that Alex Jones has a family?!

    • @butterchuggins5409
      @butterchuggins5409 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Henrik N
      Nope. Only stupid people are breeding.

    • @Thenoobestgirl
      @Thenoobestgirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nope. I think we're all very surprised.

    • @ra_8072
      @ra_8072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He got divorced a few years ago I'm sure his children don't even live with him 🙄

    • @simbamartens7192
      @simbamartens7192 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      While everyone is distracted by Alex Jones' antics, Yemen may be splitting in two permanently. Theres an interesting a video analysing the Yemen secession crisis, it's impact on the PANDEMIC as well as a background explainer of Yemen's Civil War and US involvement in it: th-cam.com/video/oqpHV3xBCBE/w-d-xo.html

    • @blueorag8723
      @blueorag8723 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Reichert Zetopan shocker

  • @amariboxill9033
    @amariboxill9033 4 ปีที่แล้ว +193

    It's bittersweet that John is getting so much better at delivering these without an audience.

    • @abbycross90210
      @abbycross90210 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      He said he had plenty of practice telling jokes tp deadly silence when he was a stand-up in England.

    • @MrM0nKey79
      @MrM0nKey79 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He is so much better than any of the other presenters. They haven't been able to adjust from presenting to a live audience and keep on leaving pauses for non-existent live studio reactions.

    • @samvidas9599
      @samvidas9599 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @amari boxill *it's a small world intensifies*

    • @berengerchristy6256
      @berengerchristy6256 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Amari Boxill I’m impressed that I’m laughing without a studio audience. Lots of other personalities suddenly become unfunny when they don’t have a forced laugh track

    • @KingThabiso
      @KingThabiso 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @David Torr Trevor Noah is doing a great job aswell.

  • @napoleonibonaparte7198
    @napoleonibonaparte7198 4 ปีที่แล้ว +369

    You know things have gotten out of hand when it’s the 6th of a series of the same topic

    • @FattyFajita
      @FattyFajita 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Napoleon I Bonaparte in the same season

    • @heartfull92
      @heartfull92 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      and consecutively 😥

    • @goblinwisdom
      @goblinwisdom 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Captain obvious.

    • @whoeverofhowevermany
      @whoeverofhowevermany 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is actually just about as good of a gauge as you could get.

    • @kaen_tqk3918
      @kaen_tqk3918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thank you napoleon, very cool

  • @Brought_to_you_by_the_letter_J
    @Brought_to_you_by_the_letter_J 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I’m watching this almost a year after the initial release and it still hurt to here how optimistic they are that everything will be alright in a month or two. It’s been a bloody year and nothing has really changed

    • @neveroddoreven6597
      @neveroddoreven6597 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Try 3 years with the death toll slowly building closer towards 0.1% percent of the Earth’s population.

    • @gypsyvegan
      @gypsyvegan 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's like a time capsule on magic mushrooms

  • @Kayizcray
    @Kayizcray 4 ปีที่แล้ว +608

    “No flesh for your sons, only daughters” - Alex Jones

    • @piequals314
      @piequals314 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      "I won't have my son eating another man!" - Alex Jones, probably

    • @nulnoh219
      @nulnoh219 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      He would want the daughter to survive. He would need to repopulate the land like Noah.

    • @styxnstones98
      @styxnstones98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Well obviously if his son eata a man he will be gay and everyone knows woman ain't good eating

    • @ZeSnark
      @ZeSnark 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He can't allow his son to become bigger and more red than he is, he might overpower him.

    • @floras2030
      @floras2030 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Perhaps he plans to eat his son first...

  • @azae00Vids
    @azae00Vids 4 ปีที่แล้ว +714

    Kinda wish we could go back to the days when Jared was seen and not heard.

    • @FleksAndru
      @FleksAndru 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@jaridkeen123 It's never too late to have an abortion, if you catch my drift.

    • @mymak-jq1hy
      @mymak-jq1hy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Or back before I didn’t know he existed.

    • @JustinMoralesTheComposer
      @JustinMoralesTheComposer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      mymak2015 those were the days

    • @williampremo3096
      @williampremo3096 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He wasn't really seen either. He's barely visible, like some kind of imbecilic spectre.

    • @kairyss4285
      @kairyss4285 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I mean the time when he was neither sounds a lot more enticing if you ask me

  • @KaminaGirl
    @KaminaGirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    Remember when Jared used to be mute? Can we go back to Jared being mute instead of him saying stupid stuff?

    • @dan_hitchman007
      @dan_hitchman007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Or sounding like Gilbert Gottfried.

    • @infinitysteppingstone331
      @infinitysteppingstone331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I actually LOVE when these imbeciles speak. It PROVES how unworthy they are to be running ANYTHING!!!!!
      Had he been kept quiet, & only the experts spoke, the world never would have known we have a POTUS that wants people injected with Lysol.
      Pure genius. (Pun intended)

    • @mrclueuin
      @mrclueuin 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Please! 🙏

    • @ChillinVinillin
      @ChillinVinillin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was unsettled by hearing him speak

    • @puppeli
      @puppeli 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      hes just a sock puppet. he just repeats what his handlers say he should say.

  • @mysunnybird
    @mysunnybird 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    John Oliver's videos are not just funny, but educational and informative. I love to watch him. He is great !!! Thank you John.

    • @ztslovebird
      @ztslovebird 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Kind of sad that a British talk show host has taught us more about the US government, infrastructure, economy, and pandemic issues than most US newscasters.

  • @TheGoddamnJefe
    @TheGoddamnJefe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +366

    “You unacceptable monstrosity.”
    I felt that.

    • @myles2010
      @myles2010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I just want to see Adam Driver listen to these thirsty names from John Oliver.

    • @josea.torres1944
      @josea.torres1944 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Excellent information, from a real source!

    • @jscorprew
      @jscorprew 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jose A. Torres llllllllllll

  • @Airwavehero
    @Airwavehero 4 ปีที่แล้ว +785

    Resting “do you know who my father is face” ah yes, The Malfoy

    • @Lexifox1993
      @Lexifox1993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      My father will hear about this!

    • @jP6K8vUU
      @jP6K8vUU 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Lexifox1993 in law*

    • @majalis7010
      @majalis7010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      no one cares about lucius, draco!!!!

    • @hazukichanx408
      @hazukichanx408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Coattail Surfing, the hip old sport among rich kids.
      Frequently combined with illegal substances and a secret wish for some semblance of love instead of just money and power.

    • @jorgealdridge6665
      @jorgealdridge6665 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Father in law stupid limey

  • @ryanencher3669
    @ryanencher3669 4 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    the jared kushner “being birthed into a tub of neutrogena” line is severely underrated

    • @jademichael7248
      @jademichael7248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Never have I heard a more accurate and appropriate comparison.

    • @HezekiahCrocker
      @HezekiahCrocker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Now that he mentions it, he does have a curiously punchable face.

    • @shemthom31
      @shemthom31 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      All the kushner lines were spot on

  • @katet5116
    @katet5116 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    "and his resting do you know who my father is face" 😅

  • @jhill4874
    @jhill4874 4 ปีที่แล้ว +395

    If I was Alex's neighbor I would definitely get a restraining order. And a gun.

    • @ninjabreadgirl
      @ninjabreadgirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      It's crazy that he's not in a facility; the man is clearly legitimately deranged

    • @sharonkritz7335
      @sharonkritz7335 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Definitely call the cops.

    • @aneggwithissues8925
      @aneggwithissues8925 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wonder if it is possible to kill the devil.

    • @sonnyc04
      @sonnyc04 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      J Hill for real.. lol

    • @lenkacfk7155
      @lenkacfk7155 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Or barbecue him first, in a preemptive strike! He looks like he could comfortably feed a family of four for a week.

  • @salamanca1954
    @salamanca1954 4 ปีที่แล้ว +384

    Alex Jones' neighbor: "Pa, get the shotgun, he's in the yard again!"

    • @cgarv101
      @cgarv101 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @salamanca1954 That's hilarious!

  • @trushall
    @trushall 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    Can't believe how such a developed country can fail so catastrophically...and still be so oblivious to its shortcomings!!
    Keep on the good work John Oliver!

    • @davideberhardt6150
      @davideberhardt6150 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      They failed catastrophically in 2016, this is just how it plays out ... somewhat foreseeably

    • @kappadarwin9476
      @kappadarwin9476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Many people in the Republican base don't care about politics leading to people like Mitch McConnel staying in office for decades.

    • @mori1bund
      @mori1bund 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@davideberhardt6150 That country started to fail long before 2016.
      The real downward spiral started in the 80s with Reagan. And it's getting faster and faster...

    • @liamnehren1054
      @liamnehren1054 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s called being in denial not only people can think their horrible/stupid actions were justified/smart countries can as well.

    • @elizabeths.9993
      @elizabeths.9993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      in europe we like to say that America is just the richest third world's country

  • @MissMelol9
    @MissMelol9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    “By July we’ll be rockin again...”
    July 20th and not so much.

    • @Luubelaar
      @Luubelaar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      September 9th ... still not.

    • @ThePoshboy1
      @ThePoshboy1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Luubelaar October and they have the greatest number of deaths per capita, accounting for 20% of the world's Covid cases.

    • @MausOfTheHouse
      @MausOfTheHouse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      November ninth and Not so much.

    • @RockMySkittles
      @RockMySkittles 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      July again: rocking, we are not. (Looming around every corner, Delta says hi)

  • @o.b.7217
    @o.b.7217 4 ปีที่แล้ว +265

    Alex Jones has to keep his daughters alive, because he plans to repopulate earth with them.
    His son is just an unwanted rival in that endeavour.

  • @dirk_gently
    @dirk_gently 4 ปีที่แล้ว +254

    Listen, it WAS extraordinarily fast. For Jared. For someone who has never accomplished anything, the fact that something was accomplished is basically the most amazing thing he's ever seen.

    • @dosmastrify
      @dosmastrify 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Sadly he's accomplished alot... Mostly being a slumlord

    • @강준하-r5c
      @강준하-r5c 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I'd say having the most punchable face is quite an achievement.

    • @tiredlocke
      @tiredlocke 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@dosmastrify Even that... it's not hard to be a slumlord funded by daddy's cash.

    • @tylerhackner9731
      @tylerhackner9731 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Failing upwards is the epitome of the Trump administration. (To be fair, that’s most rich white people).

  • @iPhoneeditor
    @iPhoneeditor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +439

    Someone better take the Alex Jones quote "I'll eat your ass" out of context and meme the hell out of it!!! xD

    • @jeaniebird999
      @jeaniebird999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Or, just take it exactly as it is. No need to take it out of context when what he's actually saying is the craziest shit most people have ever heard.

    • @Greeezy
      @Greeezy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Or stop giving him any sort of attention at all. Let that man fade into the ether.

    • @jerrellbevers6071
      @jerrellbevers6071 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I met Alex at a bar once, it's not _a schtick._

    • @sammosaurusrex
      @sammosaurusrex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s what he wants. He’s got low viewership, but he knows he can boost his numbers by saying/doing something over the top and getting memed

    • @crywhit4619
      @crywhit4619 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I haven't had a good ass eating in awhile. I hope he can deliver. My booty hole needs some 💖💋👅🤣

  • @benjaminhawksleysr6573
    @benjaminhawksleysr6573 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Today is October 30th, 2020. The time is 4:46am and the death toll in the United States is 230,004. The government is fuckin up.

  • @sushi777300
    @sushi777300 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1616

    I pity the US for having the worst leadership they ever had while having to face such a crisis

    • @rachelb4398
      @rachelb4398 4 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      Thank you :). I pity us too

    • @littlematchgirl1
      @littlematchgirl1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Dude... prey for us.

    • @ixchelssong
      @ixchelssong 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      We might not *be in this situation without the worst leadership.

    • @bobobo7730
      @bobobo7730 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Our logistics are a nightmare and our politics are exacerbating the issue. I am afraid. Thank you for your kind words

    • @keetlethe5th710
      @keetlethe5th710 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The response is not much better in Sweden weirdly enough

  • @johnsieber4403
    @johnsieber4403 4 ปีที่แล้ว +589

    He talks about Adam Driver as if they're not wearing the exact same outfit.

    • @onkelpappkov2666
      @onkelpappkov2666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Huh. Have you ever seen John Oliver and Adam Driver on camera at the same time?
      Nerdy reporter Clark Kent and his irresistible alter ego Superman, everyone? It's the glasses!

    • @alkureshi
      @alkureshi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@onkelpappkov2666 Makes sense.

    • @bean9333
      @bean9333 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      So all of this is just self-patronization. Almost fell for it.

    • @molderzzz
      @molderzzz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      he talks about Adam Driver, because hes 2 metters higher.

    • @johnsieber4403
      @johnsieber4403 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@molderzzz 😂

  • @AxelQC
    @AxelQC 4 ปีที่แล้ว +435

    I'm putting Jared's June promise into the "Aged like Milk" file for July.

    • @themoon2232
      @themoon2232 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I’ve named my file: “aged like fine gas station sushi”

    • @wendyhaun2559
      @wendyhaun2559 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Especially since here in Texas, people are out acting like the pandemic is over, time to gather, everything's fine! Meanwhile, we're adding a thousand new cases a day for the last week....

    • @naveen513
      @naveen513 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      We have a new subreddit “Aged like Corona”

  • @AnonymousXeno
    @AnonymousXeno 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    1:09 Alex Jones’ map doesn’t include South Sudan which has been on every map since the early 2010’s which shows the quality of that show

  • @futhorck771
    @futhorck771 4 ปีที่แล้ว +220

    I'm sorry John but spongebob is not "taking a joyride" he is going to driving school, respect his education John.

    • @soda_fairy
      @soda_fairy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      A person of culture I see

    • @nicolasrededeo805
      @nicolasrededeo805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      So he is driving... to driving school...

    • @theodore23sanchez
      @theodore23sanchez 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I care about SpongeBob, a fictional character, more than I care about Donald Trump and Mike Pence.
      Even Patrick Star is smart enough to wear masks.

    • @cherylametewee8716
      @cherylametewee8716 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      absolutely unacceptable. we should demand he correct this vital mistake next week or be branded fake news! lol

    • @viddork
      @viddork 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MaeLSTRoM1997
      Well, to be fair (and I thought the exact same thing that nicolas rededeo did), futhorck did say "he is going to driving school," making the inference that he is actively driving almost inevitable. Thanks for clarifying the situation. Now, someone explain to me _why I care about this at all_??

  • @Greg-TC
    @Greg-TC 4 ปีที่แล้ว +238

    I hope that John randomly runs into Adam Driver sometime and has an extremely awkward interaction with him

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Extremely awkward interaction - so, everyday for John 😅

    • @kennethhwang3425
      @kennethhwang3425 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Greg A French kiss is only awkward the first couple of seconds.

  • @jacobjones1000
    @jacobjones1000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +437

    “Ones a swab, ones a q tip. It’s actually different. It’s very sophisticated, actually” holy shit 😂

    • @dots3854
      @dots3854 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      THE WAY I STARTED CRY LAUGHING WITH EMBARRASSMENT I HATE IT HERE LMFAO

    • @amphiumaiii7058
      @amphiumaiii7058 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Sometimes we get so fed up with how corrupt Trump is that we forget to appreciate how mind-blowingly stupid he is.

    • @avedic
      @avedic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      That swab/q-tip breakdown from John was absolutely *SAVAGE.*
      And utterly deserved.
      Watching Trump explain the wonders of the q-tip uncanny valley made me lose _many_ brain cells.

    • @nickromo8195
      @nickromo8195 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      It's so fucking funny until you realize he's president and could very possibly get re-elected :/

    • @MarkBrantner
      @MarkBrantner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      They are both swabs. Q-Tip is a brand name. And, they make the big ones, too. We used them for cleaning magnetic heads on cart machines and Reel to Reel wet with Denatured Alcohol. The stick is wooden, not rolled paper or plastic.

  • @wigiboo2228
    @wigiboo2228 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    As a kiwi it is heartbreaking to see how bad this has been handled over there, please stay inside and stay safe people

    • @timfagan816
      @timfagan816 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      As another kiwi, its shocking isn't it! I cant belive it.
      And what's happening in my own country (uk) all my mates tell me how bad it is there too, we have no idea, so much gets hidden by the media.

    • @Zero_Ninety
      @Zero_Ninety 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      As a British person, can I ask one thing? What's it like having a competent government that isn't being lead by a clown?

    • @timfagan816
      @timfagan816 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Zero_Ninety it's actually pretty good, from what I've seen of it. Much better than the uk, but i don't really pay much attention to whats going on, as long as I'm hunting, fishing, jet boating, dirt biking and out in the 4x4.
      Having a fee debrief beers with the boys after, I just live in my own little world.
      But I'd rather be here, than in the uk! From what I've seen borris is a ball bag.

    • @wigiboo2228
      @wigiboo2228 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Zero_Ninety i mean she is by no means perfect, and has pissed people off by bragging about how she took a pay cut even though our last prime minister did the job for free 🤷‍♂️ but she's still amazing at her job and the definitely helps with the feeling of security for our country

    • @kolgax2064
      @kolgax2064 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Zero_Ninety Like America from 2008 - 2016

  • @barbarac9805
    @barbarac9805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +659

    This quote from Ivanka reveals the Trump family playbook:
    “Perception is more important than reality” and then amplified that remark by saying, “If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is in fact true."
    She taught Jared well.

    • @barbarac9805
      @barbarac9805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      @Mark Johhson
      You mean "Nepotism Barbie," Trump's daughter/wife?

    • @barbarac9805
      @barbarac9805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Marcos 989
      Not surprised. 😢

    • @Bobboberson1234
      @Bobboberson1234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You are literally giving away the Media's playbook.....

    • @janzacharias3680
      @janzacharias3680 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Exactly, 40-50 percent are completely clueless on how they are being played :D

    • @danieltoledo9383
      @danieltoledo9383 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That is why my Fallout Shelter explorers go out with a high P, E and L. Can’t be grabbing the quality goods if ya don’t know.

  • @lenkacfk7155
    @lenkacfk7155 4 ปีที่แล้ว +472

    Maybe we are lucky, and Alex lives right next door to the Kushners...

    • @waynegnarlie1
      @waynegnarlie1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Fortunately Alex Jones prefers white meat.

    • @lenkacfk7155
      @lenkacfk7155 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@waynegnarlie1 , and you can't get any whiter than Jared 😅

    • @sideshowbob
      @sideshowbob 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We ARE lucky; He will be eating other Texans ;) ;) ;)

    • @MungkaeX
      @MungkaeX 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sideshow Bob I’ve met plenty of reasonable Texans.

    • @sideshowbob
      @sideshowbob 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MungkaeX Well I'm a New Englandah. None of us are Reasonable ;)

  • @courtney4831
    @courtney4831 4 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    I honestly live for the fact he keeps bringing Driver back into this pandemic. God Bless you Oliver...And Bless that massive Redwood Mr Driver

    • @ArthurKnight1899
      @ArthurKnight1899 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      shouldnt Adam Driver just be called.....Eve?

  • @azeemwasay344
    @azeemwasay344 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    65k deaths vs 650k deaths now. Remember those times?

  • @norge0209
    @norge0209 4 ปีที่แล้ว +312

    Wow. It’s 6:30 AM, and I was NOT expecting to hear “I’ll eat my neighbors” this early in the day.

    • @april4769
      @april4769 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I watched SGN with John Krasinski first so I laughed before feeling like this😳😳

    • @LovePriestessLeah
      @LovePriestessLeah 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I think he low key already ate a few.

    • @norge0209
      @norge0209 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Leah Why would anyone live near him? Those poor people.

    • @dr.jamesolack8504
      @dr.jamesolack8504 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jill Hurley
      Yeah.....kinda made me cringe a bit. Take care, Jill.

    • @norge0209
      @norge0209 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dr. James Olack Thanks. Take care, as well.

  • @Hundo_Mo
    @Hundo_Mo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +308

    That Animal Crossing joke hit home... i wouldnt have bought the game if I wasnt stuck at home... and yet here I am over 2,000,000 in debt to a raccoon 🦝

    • @ethanleon7775
      @ethanleon7775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Somebody on the writing staff is a fan of Zero Punctuation...

    • @livefromdagarage
      @livefromdagarage 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Capitalism

    • @NotEnoughBooks
      @NotEnoughBooks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Tenchin Mo congrats on the house upgrades

    • @TheWorstAmy-LegacyAccount
      @TheWorstAmy-LegacyAccount 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Tom Nook is a tanooki you uncultured swine

    • @Ryguy0707
      @Ryguy0707 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Best 300 hrs of my life

  • @adamloomos
    @adamloomos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    Somehow, I feel like that outburst is still only the third-worst thing about being Alex Jones' neighbor.

    • @veanell
      @veanell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      He must really bring down the property value of his neighborhood

    • @jeanbonilla1901
      @jeanbonilla1901 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂

    • @Lynsey17
      @Lynsey17 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      His neighbours must just pray he stays off the chili.

  • @PhilipJackson03
    @PhilipJackson03 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    God John, you never cease to amaze me with your stories. This is true journalism, a crisp, non-biased funny monologue that gives us facts. You’re too underrated for what you always achieve.

  • @xxTIME2PLAYxx
    @xxTIME2PLAYxx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +166

    I think Adam driver should film his reactions to John mentioning him

    • @boabdil1974
      @boabdil1974 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      This season can't finish before we get an Adam Driver cameo with John.

    • @exlatior
      @exlatior 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes

    • @pipperoni8567
      @pipperoni8567 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      +

    • @jacksparrowismydaddy
      @jacksparrowismydaddy 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I so wanna see that

  • @burgereagle9310
    @burgereagle9310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +282

    Just like it says in the Bible: "Eat thy neighbor"

    • @robhulslander4087
      @robhulslander4087 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      or "Love thy neighbor's taste"

    • @Dougiewoof
      @Dougiewoof 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thou shall taste thy neighbors flesh as they hath tasteth their own.
      This is known as the golden knife rule.

    • @KLanio-lr8yv
      @KLanio-lr8yv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just not his ass or wife?

    • @QuesoGr7
      @QuesoGr7 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      CONSUME them

    • @fallenwolf3368
      @fallenwolf3368 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Human flesh is really good if it is grilled.

  • @sher7595
    @sher7595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    Remember the episode when John asked "does anyone even know what Jared sounds like?"
    Now that we've heard his voice. . . . . .I see why they don't let him speak

    • @christenford3864
      @christenford3864 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The voiceover they had for Jared is better than his real voice.

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sher pepperidge farm remembers.

    • @lillianward2810
      @lillianward2810 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I was shocked that he didn’t dub him with Gilbert Gottfried again.

  • @edmilsonrodrigues5393
    @edmilsonrodrigues5393 4 ปีที่แล้ว +441

    “When we run out of food, we still have each other” Hannibal

    • @Katpiratefan275
      @Katpiratefan275 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Need to assure the quality of our neighbors before we eat them

    • @Genesis23OPB
      @Genesis23OPB 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @V. V completely agree.

    • @j.sigmon339
      @j.sigmon339 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Venison is Delicious. And ther are MILLIONS of Deer,Elk,Caribou,Rabbit,Turkey,Pheasant.. so to even Consider eating your Neighbors is a Physcotic notion and one that should definetly be Questioned as well as the person making such a statement.

    • @j.sigmon339
      @j.sigmon339 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      But I’m willing to bet all these hipsters and millennials and that ilk are to pussy to shoot an animal to feed there family. Nation full of PUSSIES. That’s half the problem.

  • @atlanteancherub2560
    @atlanteancherub2560 4 ปีที่แล้ว +378

    “She grabbed the back of my head. Like we were LOVERS.”
    Aaaand now my tea’s all over my keyboard. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @enaszaq3051
      @enaszaq3051 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You and me both, u and me both... >w

    • @KingThabiso
      @KingThabiso 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That killed me.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @mark-ish
      @mark-ish 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Lesbian who woke her inner self I suspect. She's just pissy that she was the submissive in that encounter.

    • @atlanteancherub2560
      @atlanteancherub2560 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      imark ...It ain’t even that deep, bruh. Enjoy the laugh, like the rest of us. 😬🤣🤣

    • @ourkeving
      @ourkeving 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jesus Christ, who thinks like that?
      I'll bet a lot of patients jerk their head back, reflexely. I would like to be warned, but maybe it makes worse. Ignorant woman.

  • @kyuubicat5
    @kyuubicat5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +706

    For how “developed” a country we are, it’s pathetic how bad the government handled this.

    • @jcskarambit
      @jcskarambit 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Nothing is idiot-proof.

    • @kyuubicat5
      @kyuubicat5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      jcskarambit unfortunately.

    • @imajinallthepurple
      @imajinallthepurple 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ...as well! 😒

    • @kyuubicat5
      @kyuubicat5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Krysty Cavallo lol

    • @bengerber4542
      @bengerber4542 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @Krysty Cavallo it's funny,. After they finally did report about the impact on their country and was nearly shut down, our country was still accepting international travel with no quarentine for another whole month (maybe a bit more). Even when the virus broke out in Italy, we were still accepting foreign travel with no quarentine (except Chinese travel). All this time, when we knew about the extent of the virus, the president denied, on live TV, that coronavirus was a threat to the US at all. He said that we don't need to do anything to prepare because it won't reach here.

  • @kelst75
    @kelst75 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I wonder if Adam Driver knows how much John loves him.

  • @leavingitblank9363
    @leavingitblank9363 4 ปีที่แล้ว +791

    John Oliver, the only late-night show host still bravely wearing a suit.

    • @thepope1494
      @thepope1494 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      ..dude he's totally not wearing any pants..

    • @ckwind1971
      @ckwind1971 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bill Maher does

    • @mathunit1
      @mathunit1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@ckwind1971 TWO late-night show hosts still bravely wearing suits. *Do I hear three?* :3

    • @raphaelcamacho5699
      @raphaelcamacho5699 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oliver Xu Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert. They all wear suits. I think that you should get a T.V. and not rely on TH-cam as your sole entertainment outlet.

    • @keiraforster3198
      @keiraforster3198 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Even a pandemic can’t stop him from looking dapper af

  • @caballo9500
    @caballo9500 4 ปีที่แล้ว +650

    Oliver: "how do we get gamers in the audience?"
    Writers: Animal Crossing
    Oliver: you're getting a raise

    • @mr.x2567
      @mr.x2567 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This game is still Animal Crossing’s biggest hit!

    • @WouldYouKindlyNot
      @WouldYouKindlyNot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I'm a gamer and I already watch John. That joke killed me 😂😂😂

    • @ChipJohnson
      @ChipJohnson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Cygnus Destroyer Nintendo playing the long con.

    • @MelodicQuest
      @MelodicQuest 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's been a theory for about a month now

    • @wildebt
      @wildebt 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/jUbNsdiQe0I/w-d-xo.html Watch some actual journalism..

  • @katipettit8774
    @katipettit8774 4 ปีที่แล้ว +268

    Jesus, I used to work in a doctor’s office and we had children coming in for rapid strep tests that were less fascinated/confused by swabs. 🤦🏼‍♀️

    • @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475
      @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      The children probably didn't try to explain them to you like *YOU* were the idiot.

    • @hootle4641
      @hootle4641 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 Or better yet, explaining to an entire nation of people like we're all finding this out for the first time too.

    • @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475
      @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@hootle4641 Well a swab is "VERY SOPHISTICATED". 😳 🙄. Can you imagine anyone genuinely trying to explain the complexity of a swab? Just order the damn things you orange oaf! Why do we need to hear him come to terms with the fact that there are more sophisticated things in the universe than his family members: Namely long Q-tips. (That man's brain stopped developing at 4 yr. old)

    • @hootle4641
      @hootle4641 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 I think he just felt stupid so needed to extremely emphasize the fact that he is, in fact, a very stable genius.

    • @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475
      @onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@hootle4641 I just got a mental image of that fool practicing his speech backstage with his Qtip. Expecting to wow everyone with his brilliant... ["you know...i. have a good one of these"(points to head.) ].

  • @sarahvilardi3071
    @sarahvilardi3071 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Well, Jared, it's November. Still waiting for the country to be "rockin' again"

  • @Woogla
    @Woogla 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1157

    "my superpower is being honest"
    has made a living off of scamming gullible people lol

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      One day, an evil wizard caught a bunch of used-car-dealers. Then in a ritual of unspeakable nature while the stars aligned he chopped them up and sewed the most despicable parts together to form the hull.
      Then the same evil wizard tore the resting souls of one hundred 19th century snake-oil-salesmen from their resting places and infused the creepy husk in his lair of evil.
      To finalise his deed, he somehow replaced the mouth of the beast with a megaphone.
      And voilla - Alex Jones came to be.
      Now you know his origin-story. Share it as you please

    • @donostradingpost1173
      @donostradingpost1173 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Robert Nett Awesome 👍🏻

    • @rgderen88
      @rgderen88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah, but he says he's honest, so clearly he is honest.

    • @GarrettMoffitt
      @GarrettMoffitt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      No one talks about how honest they are more then a liar.

    • @mota2028
      @mota2028 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The most recent podcast with joe Rogan was a clear example of how insane he is

  • @SplicerZero
    @SplicerZero 4 ปีที่แล้ว +284

    Holy shit. A lime wire joke and a “Nintendo gave us animal crossing + covid 19” joke. I love him 😂😂

    • @Ancor_Vantian
      @Ancor_Vantian 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I was looking for this comment.

    • @rustyboy1000
      @rustyboy1000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ah, the old Lime Wire days, those were the days...

  • @imhellag
    @imhellag 4 ปีที่แล้ว +196

    Resting Do-You-Know-Who-My-Father-Is Face - IM DEAD. give the writer a raise please

  • @guessgirlietv
    @guessgirlietv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    Jared Kushner sucks, but he’s gonna need to drop that skincare routine.

    • @kellyparkinson8594
      @kellyparkinson8594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Translucent sociopath! Best description of Kushner - so true and hilarious!

    • @seafoam6119
      @seafoam6119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@kellyparkinson8594 he eats babies lol

    • @scottsbarbarossalogic3665
      @scottsbarbarossalogic3665 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I think it was revealed in American Psycho

    • @youraverageimperialguard7932
      @youraverageimperialguard7932 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      His moisturizer is the tears of the impoverished.

    • @psychicbyinternet
      @psychicbyinternet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      When you're a millionaire robber-baron you can afford millions of dead babies and skin transplants.

  • @m3nsch.994
    @m3nsch.994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    Kushner: „Look how fast we were...“
    Me as an European: „Guys, even South Africa was faster and is dealing better with this situation...“

    • @kappadarwin9476
      @kappadarwin9476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      You are European, Republicans won't get your vote so they don't really care about how they look to outsiders. Trump brought out the worst in American Conservatism or maybe he brought it to light?

    • @mistifalcon3332
      @mistifalcon3332 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Ey boet I was surprised by my SA govt response tbh. Many faults, but at the very least they took some measures quite quickly.

    • @titaniumteddybear
      @titaniumteddybear 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      South African here: can confirm. We are beating America on every metric against COVID19, and that is genuinely scary.

    • @reljamrkic2663
      @reljamrkic2663 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@kappadarwin9476 Funny thing is, us Europeans don't really care who wins the election. Trump has made the entire world laugh for years with his stupidity and will be missed when he's gone, only for that.

    • @Masterrunescapeer
      @Masterrunescapeer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@titaniumteddybear no actually we're not really. Besides western cape, I doubt any provinces are properly testing, only WC does proper contact tracing.
      Over the last week most of the stats have more than doubled in Cape Town, due to townships is my guess.
      The way we're doing lockdown won't work, needs to be proper social distancing instead, economy can't handle it.

  • @blackdragone
    @blackdragone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    I sense one of the writers has an incurable crush on Adam Driver.

    • @ambergerhelper7852
      @ambergerhelper7852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      blackdragone I also share the crush.

    • @clovelikethespice
      @clovelikethespice 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      It’s John. John has the crush. He’s going off-script just to tell the world how much he loves Adam Driver

    • @elijahculper5522
      @elijahculper5522 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      blackdragone
      Can you blame whoever is writing those bits? Adam is gorgeous.

    • @blackblurable
      @blackblurable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I can’t see why though. Can he really act because I’m not convinced and he looks similar to a caveman. Hey maybe that’s what’s in nowadays 🤷‍♂️

    • @adeer87
      @adeer87 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel out of the loop because I don’t know who that person is 🤷‍♀️

  • @medusareigns
    @medusareigns 4 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    What’s really jarring is hearing John say that the death toll is only around 60k and then realizing that over 20k people died in just six days

    • @eboninkdeathliquidnecrosis
      @eboninkdeathliquidnecrosis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah armageddon will do that.

    • @georgehugh3455
      @georgehugh3455 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why is this the EXACT same comment (word-for-word with no period) that "Cassie" put one day later
      - Same person? BFF's?

    • @BattyButtercup
      @BattyButtercup 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@eboninkdeathliquidnecrosis it's only an apocalypse if it's global: North America is not the centre of the universe.

    • @eboninkdeathliquidnecrosis
      @eboninkdeathliquidnecrosis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@BattyButtercup You are naive to think this is not a global issue.

    • @JohnVanHare
      @JohnVanHare 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And another two weeks later, 96,000

  • @kimjeanw
    @kimjeanw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Watching this on 20 May and I'm like "Wow, US deaths were only 65k when this was made." - just over two weeks later it's now over 90k.

    • @DoctorWhoKage
      @DoctorWhoKage 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      At current, I think it's somewhere around 100k but Republicans keep saying that they falsified the number of deaths.

    • @michelekett8450
      @michelekett8450 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      June 7th, even worse, and Trump trying to create the SS to control the population. Can it get worse......?

    • @kimjeanw
      @kimjeanw 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DoctorWhoKage yeah by under-reporting!

  • @trueconsumer6
    @trueconsumer6 4 ปีที่แล้ว +578

    Somebody should give Alex Jones a house next to the White House.

    • @infinitysteppingstone331
      @infinitysteppingstone331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Excellent.

    • @dndub2595
      @dndub2595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      *chef kisses* beautiful

    • @jonisalmela2399
      @jonisalmela2399 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I would like to see alex jones moving next to Hulk Hogan, be it either sitcom or reality tv. Either way gonna be interested in watching that desperate hound Alex try to eat that Hulks ass.

    • @jonisalmela2399
      @jonisalmela2399 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      could also be porn idk.

    • @preachermaid
      @preachermaid 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's a great idea! 👏👏👏

  • @ShiraCheshire
    @ShiraCheshire 4 ปีที่แล้ว +367

    Did John Oliver really just do a spongebob meme
    These are wild times.

    • @ManoredRed
      @ManoredRed 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Can't buy giant props with dragon money right now, gotta fill the void somehow.

    • @saltdaemon4453
      @saltdaemon4453 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah but.... he was lacking the enthusiasm our children have when singing it...sad. I vote for a re-do he can deliver it much better I am sure.

    • @mev0lent
      @mev0lent 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And an Animal Crossing meme!
      This is a Wild World.

  • @salgallo7904
    @salgallo7904 4 ปีที่แล้ว +366

    Who else just heard Jared Kushner's voice for the first time watching this video?

    • @its_k9819
      @its_k9819 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah I was searching for this comment

    • @laurenescarcha3246
      @laurenescarcha3246 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He doesn't use his facial muscles

    • @its_k9819
      @its_k9819 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@laurenescarcha3246 but he finally used his vocal muscles 😂

    • @salvequick
      @salvequick 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I though he was a cardboard cut out.

    • @XXwhoknowsXX81
      @XXwhoknowsXX81 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes

  • @Aviator43
    @Aviator43 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Hey Jared Kushner, it’s the end of June. It’s not “rocking” again

    • @Luubelaar
      @Luubelaar 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Jared, it's the beginning of September and the US is a right shitshow.

    • @nevameindl3417
      @nevameindl3417 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      hey Jared Kushner it is mid-November and cases are skyrocketing faster than ever

    • @Jaysay_I
      @Jaysay_I 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey Jared Kushner, its mid-January and we’re all fucked and have another strain of the virus. Definitely not rockin’ yet.

    • @birdn4t0r7
      @birdn4t0r7 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      hey Jared Kushner, it's the end of your FIL's presidency, and we're all still fucked. Definitely not "rockin'" yet.

  • @highnoon9333
    @highnoon9333 4 ปีที่แล้ว +249

    Why do I feel like real estate prices in Alex Jones's neighborhood just went down by a lot?

    • @k8eekatt
      @k8eekatt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Because they are dropping all over the country

    • @melonlord1414
      @melonlord1414 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Why isn't he locked up for something like that. He threatens the life of his nighbors on TV.

    • @dustinluthro3023
      @dustinluthro3023 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dude, that was funny.

    • @dustinluthro3023
      @dustinluthro3023 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@gerbrandlub Woah, are you calling for violence? That's pretty bad, dude.

    • @mikaelohman9839
      @mikaelohman9839 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @DrMossydog He is selling and he always has. Remember the "killing corona at point blank"-shit he sold at the start of this? Now that did not really kill corona did it? He still sold the shit...