Im a BPD male, and i dont know too much about it, i was told i had it a couple years ago, but not had any help, mental health care in the UK on the NHS is pretty bad, after listening to you, its scary how much i can relate with almost everything you have said, and i mean most of it, i live like a hermit because being around peoples too hard for me.
Hey, I am so glad you enjoyed the video! I tried to be very thoughtful of the male experience and make sure I took a decent look at it. I really want to lend support to every type of borderline too. It means everything when it makes a difference.
and thank you for replying, nobody has ever replied to me before lol, it actually gave me a smile to listen to you, ive never met anyone like me before, partly my fault, i avoid pretty much everyone, mostly only go out to buy food, besides that i mostly just keep to myself, i feel like nobody can really understand, and what right do i have to make people be around me /
@@PoeticDreamerDesigns You are welcome 🙂 I like being here for people, it is very enriching. Everyone deserves the joys that friendship brings. Maybe you could think of ways to challenge yourself to take steps in creating them? It is hard but so worth the effort and the more comfortable you get with challenging yourself in good things, the more strength you will have, the less scary the world is and the more you might crave the next challenge. If you are like me it could very well have that outcome. My challenge this year is to do "fun" things that make me cringe deeply inside such as go to a BBQ or bowling. I hate doing things but I'm tired of not living more.
I want to do more, and its not that i dont like people, i just feel vulnerable around people, i really dont like the feeling of hurting others, and my words to me most of the time seems pleasant, and many times even when i try to flatter others they take it as a insult, so besides online im afraid i fail to much being around people.
22 year old male here. I definitely experience the detached/possessive contradiction. For me personally, I feel detached from other people, I struggle with empathy and especially intimacy. So much so that I’ve never been in a a serious romantic relationship. However I can become very jealous of my “favorite person” or very paranoid about my friends leaving me or betraying me still. Once I latch on to a person (I’ve had one favorite person) it’s almost like the detachment feelings disappear and I want to be around them all the time. But the feelings can return during the devaluation phase. Idk if this helps but that’s how I see this phenomenon.
Thank you! I think it always helps to throw out personal experience. I relate to what you described as I was like that in my teens, that is really hard to go through. I really appreciate you putting your view down in words.
Group DBT is more than just what you described as DBT. There are four modules to DBT in group therapy. Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. Its good to have a few hours on a skill or two in group rather than the one hour you get with therapy. Ideally you do both. Then you get the best of both worlds.
Thank you for delving into it deeper. I felt bad in the moment that I didn't do more research into DBT. My own counselor didn't not walk me through what DBT was...a bit more of a laid back approach on her part I guess. Thank you for taking the time, really
@@mymentalhealthjourneybpd7531 You are welcome. 😀 And yeah my first psychologist didnt walk me through CBT like she could have. She taught me how to do it without telling me exactly what i was doing and what it was called in CBT. It still changed the way i think about a lot of things though. I prefer being walked through things though..
@@SkullKing11841 I like being walked through things as well! My therapist who first diagnosed me hated labels so she didn't want to even tell me my diagnosis. Drove me nuts! Knowledge is power. So now, have you done the group therapy and if so, what was your experience?
@@mymentalhealthjourneybpd7531 Yeah my psychiatrist diagnosed me but never told me, I saw it on my discharge summary from the hospital. Annoys me she wont tell me when she's diagnosed something until it comes up in conversation to. I am doing group therapy, I've only done one module of DBT though. Its too soon to tell for me if its working. I know the skills, but i find it hard to use them because of depression and apathy. I'm doing TMS to get on top of that though. My experience has been good though. The group is nice and the day isnt too long. The facilitators really know what there talking about to.
Im a BPD male, and i dont know too much about it, i was told i had it a couple years ago, but not had any help, mental health care in the UK on the NHS is pretty bad, after listening to you, its scary how much i can relate with almost everything you have said, and i mean most of it, i live like a hermit because being around peoples too hard for me.
Hey, I am so glad you enjoyed the video! I tried to be very thoughtful of the male experience and make sure I took a decent look at it. I really want to lend support to every type of borderline too. It means everything when it makes a difference.
and thank you for replying, nobody has ever replied to me before lol, it actually gave me a smile to listen to you, ive never met anyone like me before, partly my fault, i avoid pretty much everyone, mostly only go out to buy food, besides that i mostly just keep to myself, i feel like nobody can really understand, and what right do i have to make people be around me /
@@PoeticDreamerDesigns You are welcome 🙂 I like being here for people, it is very enriching. Everyone deserves the joys that friendship brings. Maybe you could think of ways to challenge yourself to take steps in creating them? It is hard but so worth the effort and the more comfortable you get with challenging yourself in good things, the more strength you will have, the less scary the world is and the more you might crave the next challenge. If you are like me it could very well have that outcome. My challenge this year is to do "fun" things that make me cringe deeply inside such as go to a BBQ or bowling. I hate doing things but I'm tired of not living more.
I want to do more, and its not that i dont like people, i just feel vulnerable around people, i really dont like the feeling of hurting others, and my words to me most of the time seems pleasant, and many times even when i try to flatter others they take it as a insult, so besides online im afraid i fail to much being around people.
22 year old male here. I definitely experience the detached/possessive contradiction. For me personally, I feel detached from other people, I struggle with empathy and especially intimacy. So much so that I’ve never been in a a serious romantic relationship. However I can become very jealous of my “favorite person” or very paranoid about my friends leaving me or betraying me still. Once I latch on to a person (I’ve had one favorite person) it’s almost like the detachment feelings disappear and I want to be around them all the time. But the feelings can return during the devaluation phase. Idk if this helps but that’s how I see this phenomenon.
Thank you! I think it always helps to throw out personal experience. I relate to what you described as I was like that in my teens, that is really hard to go through. I really appreciate you putting your view down in words.
Interesting to see someone discussing BPD in males. Thanks!
Maybe it’s more aggressive in men bc they only get diagnosed when it’s severe. It took a while for me to get diagnosed and idk why.
Group DBT is more than just what you described as DBT. There are four modules to DBT in group therapy. Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. Its good to have a few hours on a skill or two in group rather than the one hour you get with therapy. Ideally you do both. Then you get the best of both worlds.
Thank you for delving into it deeper. I felt bad in the moment that I didn't do more research into DBT. My own counselor didn't not walk me through what DBT was...a bit more of a laid back approach on her part I guess. Thank you for taking the time, really
@@mymentalhealthjourneybpd7531
You are welcome. 😀
And yeah my first psychologist didnt walk me through CBT like she could have. She taught me how to do it without telling me exactly what i was doing and what it was called in CBT. It still changed the way i think about a lot of things though. I prefer being walked through things though..
@@SkullKing11841 I like being walked through things as well! My therapist who first diagnosed me hated labels so she didn't want to even tell me my diagnosis. Drove me nuts! Knowledge is power. So now, have you done the group therapy and if so, what was your experience?
@@mymentalhealthjourneybpd7531
Yeah my psychiatrist diagnosed me but never told me, I saw it on my discharge summary from the hospital. Annoys me she wont tell me when she's diagnosed something until it comes up in conversation to.
I am doing group therapy, I've only done one module of DBT though. Its too soon to tell for me if its working. I know the skills, but i find it hard to use them because of depression and apathy. I'm doing TMS to get on top of that though.
My experience has been good though. The group is nice and the day isnt too long. The facilitators really know what there talking about to.