How to Connect with People When You Feel like an Outsider | Eckhart Tolle
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 เม.ย. 2022
- Eckhart admits that before his awakening experience, he often felt as if he was separated from the rest of humanity. However, there are always chances to deeply connect with others, especially when you are in a space with fellow spiritual seekers. He also gives a gentle warning not to become completely wrapped up in this “outsider” identity, as it can lead to the same egoic dysfunction as any mind-made self.
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Great video, love Eckhart!. I 'll be 60 yrs old this year, and I still don't fit in, never married, my relationships have never succeeded, but I've always been a happy camper. My sister would always call me an old soul ( even though she was 6 yrs older ), and my mother once asked me why I'm so weird. Since discovering spirituality, I've never been happier. I wish everyone Peace, Love, & tranquility!
Thank you for subscribing this is my private account DM me for private reading
Best wishes and more presence to you ❤️
Hopefully by now you would have learned the art of maintaining good relationships 🙏
@@janmejaypandey2424 Life is always a learning process, and what I learned is that I really don't want a relationship. "I've never been happier" thanks for the reply Peace!
@@behere3319 Thank you!
I’m 62. I’m an introvert. I have one friend, my wonderful wife of 30 years. That’s all I need.
How do you make a relationship works? I also want one friend, a partner, but everyone leaves me. I want commitment.
@@Olivia-bs5wj I understand how you feel and I wish that I had the answer to your question. I can tell you that for me personally, I envisioned my partner in my mind first. I meditated on exactly the kind of person my partner would be in great detail. With much clarity, I spoke the words out load to the universe. I believed and acted as if it had already been accomplished. Before I knew it that person showed up in my life and I knew with great certainty that my affirmation had manifested. I had to become the person that I wanted to attract into my life. The universe responded in kind. We have grown together over the years, always placing our friendship above everything else. We always choose to be happy over being right. I hope that sharing this will help you find your partner, your best friend and your happiness as well.
@@Olivia-bs5wj everything starts with a thought. Be positive and don’t let thoughts come from a place of fear, let them come from a place of love. Don’t use words like “want”, think more like “I need commitment” but make that statement with confidence, not in a needy way. Make statements like “I am certain I will find my soul mate!”, and write it down on paper, pin it on your door, manifest it into the physical world. You will find your soulmate and it will be amazing! Take care
@@TinybirdPauline We have much in common. You were so correct in being very specific regarding details about your perfect partner. The universe always responds in kind. I am so happy for you and your successful manifestation. I have discovered that it not only works for the perfect partner, it is an immutable law that works for whatever you want to create in your life. You don’t even have to know how it works, only that it works. Thoughts become words, words become action, action becomes habit, habit becomes character, character becomes destiny. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. May life always give back to you as you give to it. ❤️
@@JDHart wow i just realized i don’t have a specific type. I never told the universe how I want her
I actually said to my friend a few days ago that I've never felt like I belong to this world. I am 48 years old and FINALLY accept, no, EMBRACE my beautiful soul and those who I have been gifted with. There is ALWAYS connection and I send you all blessings for the same.
Congratulations, to be on this world but not of it is a beautiful thing and when you accept that you begin discovering your "supernatural" gifts. Many blessings
Me too! My unconscious inner mantra was "I'm in this world, not of this world", like I got sent to the wrong life...these days, I'm absolutely in love with myself and this world (most of the time anyways haha). Now I wrap up each meditation with a prayer and it goes, "Thank you, God".
Blessings!
You might be Lemurian
@@sarahmillson1594 Do you know a respected person I may watch/contact? I'd love to know if I am Lemurian. I've always felt like I was adopted and not belonging to this world. 💫🧠👁👽
@Lisa Wadsley Are you an AI?
I believe you’re more an “insider” than you think. You’re your own best friend. It’s everyone else that’s on the outside. Be you and enjoy. ✌️
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Great approach 🤔
Thats easy to say but it gets lonely
@@JB-wy8fc I've been trying to spend time with myself so I can know myself - the true self Tolle mentions as the you that exists when you're listening to someone speaking and you're waiting for them to resume their words (so you aren't thinking or interacting, you're just being, which is the true 'you' devoid of external noise).
Knowing that true 'me' means I can better recognize the qualities I see in my true self reflected/exhibited (or not) in others. If I recognize those aspects of me in them, I am not an outsider, and they are just a stranger as yet unknown. If I don't recognize any of the aspects of the true me in others I try to honor them as being sugar while I'm salt, so to speak, and the two don't need to cohabitate if they just don't pair well.
My point is you - the conscious ego you think you are - can be open to connection with your own true self when you're alone (and thereby not be lonely), because you truly are 'hanging out' with a 'you' that is the realest you, but is also often a stranger to the ego-saturated you). Viewed that way, you aren't really alone. So loneliness can be less a problem despite being physically alone.
Recognizing your true, non-ego self's characteristics, you are then in a better place to recognize those qualities in others and therefore again loneliness can be less a problem (or non-existent, even). True loneliness comes from not knowing your true self and from being with others whose selfhood shares little overlap with your true self.
Still working on tolerating myself here. I feel like an outsider whether I’m in a group or alone with myself. Hoping to figure it all out at some point.
Im 47, tried therapy because did not have "friends,found it hard to make a connection, than I went to a medium, she told me that there is nothing wrong with me, I just do not need others like most people do, I need meaningful conversations with healers like me or people who are more awakened, more aware, because " I have been around the block many times"
At least we got each other here. I take being an outsider a blessing. It has save me from a lot of pain and suffering from not turning out like majority of my peers. There are worse things in life than being misunderstood and not belonging. All we can do is try to live a compassionate life and end the cycles of suffering. I love y'all and wish y'all love, happiness, and most importantly peace. 🥰
Same to you my friend🤗
Beautifully said. Thank you🙏🏻🌹
You also are able to avoid group think, which is poison.....
@@claudiafahey1353 I totally agree.
Same to you 🪄
...very lonely. Watching this has eased my burden of loneliness when I really needed it. Thank you, Eckhart, from my heart. Also to the sweet girl who asked.
And love to all my fellow outsiders!
Birgitta, I too felt the same on listening to this. It's hard being the seemingly wrong jigsaw piece in the wrong puzzle box. My thinking is that we were never meant to sit comfortably in the reality of this particular puzzle.
Peace and love to you.
I am wanting to attend a gathering to meet and greet people in flesh and not satisfy with "looking at people through a slit in the jailcell that is my apartment room and computer or TV".
You aren't alone in feeling lonely- me too.
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What helped me was watching video's about star seeds, feeling An absolute outsider? You are a soul from somewhere else ! We are human but souls In first place Just search for it and the answers Will come😄 There is An important reason why you are the outsider , you have Choosen tis journey ask your spirirguides die help ! They are glad to help ! Much love and light from the Netherlands ❤️🙏
I’ve just turned 60 yrs old & I always feel like I’m looking from the outside in. Find being in a group difficult but love to be out in nature on my own xx
I am exactly that way too Jay, so nice to know others out there feel the same. Xx
‘Looking in from the outside’ ... what a perfect way to say it
I am also 60 and feel like I'm in a wonderful state of acceptance.
I was discarded out of a social circle 2 years ago. It was hard at 1st, but sent me on a journey of personal growth.
Exactly how I have felt
I understand.🌌💚
We are so lucky to have Eckhart leading the way for all us 'misfits' and 'outsiders'. I love this man for what he is teaching us all.
Weird people are highly sensitive and perceptive, cautious people. I am one of them. It's very difficult to be around others, some groups are nicer than other, but some can be so cruel.
I have now been living with this feeling of not belonging for close to 77 years. I found Eckhart two years ago, which has eased my burden of regret and guilt a lot though I am still
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I always feel like an acquaintance and I've never had close relationships with anyone except maybe a cat. I enjoy my own company more than with other people.
People stress me out and I often feel drained after interactions.
I love being in nature by myself.
I thought that perhaps I may have had a mental disability because of my lack of communication. But it's reassuring to know that its ok.
I once read that introverts find relationships or interactions draining because they give energy to maintain the interaction, whereas extroverts take energy from the interaction. It sounds like you are a strong introvert so you need to be careful who you spend time with. I also find some interactions can be very draining. You may also have autistic or asperger tendancies. I have a family member like that - they don't do well in company. Whatever it is, you must honour the way you feel and not try to fix it. We're not broken, just different!
@@LMB2301 Thank you. Yes it has crossed my mind that I might be slightly autistic but I don't want to label myself. I remember when I was younger that I loved exploring the neighbourhood on my bicycle or doing adventurous things in the garden. Often, I would decide to do it and then kids my age would want to copy me or join me. But I was happy exploring even if they weren't there. Also, I've never felt the need or wanted to initiate friendships with my peers. And I'm still kind of like that now. There are the odd people who I find interesting but I really struggle to want to keep people around me. I don't know how to explain it really. But I'm realising now that it's ok to be me and to not need to behave how 'normal' people behave.
I share you sentiments. It's so much easier to accept than trying to conform to societal expectations. Once I did, I felt at peace.
@@Vashti0825 helpful comment thankyou
Have you checked out enneagram typing? It might help give you more peace. It helped me anyways
It's amazing how the Universe works. Just today, my 14-year old daughter came back from school and told me that no one talks to her in class and that they all form a 'group' and are always interacting within the group. I didn't know what to tell her. I will share this video with her. Thank you, Eckhart. 🙏🙏
It's so difficult for her. At her age she is trying to find her identity. How you react may be more important than how she reacts. Love praise and patience. Good luck.
@@terryhoffman2760, thank you very much.
Sending her a 🤗 hug I have a 13 year old I always say never leave anyone out, if someone new starts introduce yourself and ask if they want to join in
@@marciamorgan5316 thank you so much. Hugs coming all the way from Chennai to your little one.
❤️@@anandakumarsanthinathan4740
Often times we thing that the letting go of the ego construct will result in us feeling "disconnected" from Life, or other individuals, when in fact. In my experience, the opposite is the case. The more I let go and give myself permission to be who I really am unconditionally in all moments, the more I feel connected to EVERY single being around me, and the more I heal myself and others in the process. If you step into this space, you can expect to heal multiple generations of repressed desire and connection to who you really truly are. Great video Eckhart. Thanks for being one of the people that inspires me to post videos every single day. Much Love. 🙏
Yes exactly, I have the same expirience at least sometimes. Sometimes I still feel isolated
@@ailidhlalala1592 yeah this just sometimes, because we don't truly always in that state
The struggle in many individuals' existence(mine included) is finding those who can appreciate, accept, and reciprocate. The worthy of the precious time commodity.
With you 100%,
I am an INFJ. I have felt like an outsider since my childhood.
INFJ are the MOST RARE people on earth. You are very special.
I had similar experiences. As a child I had a friend who was deaf & another who had down syndrome. I am going on 68 & embrace my weird introvert self more than ever now.
In grateful appreciation for all you do & are Eckhart.
Blessings to one & all.
Liliane
I'm 72 marycatfish and also embracing my weird introvert self!
I am 14 and am learning to. Love y’all. See you later and hope you have a great day! ❤️👍
Interesting! I also had a Deaf friend and a friend who had Down syndrome when I was a child!
I use to think I was a outsider but now I realize I’ve always been on a deeper level then most. There’s very few people I can be around these days. I mostly like to be alone
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The women in the video really touched my heart and I could connect to what she said. I'm also from Austria(Vienna)! Maybe she reads this or someone who nows her and we can get in touch! 🙂🙂
I had just the same impulse as you! It means there's actually quite a lot of us spread all around?
Greetings from Salzburg.🖖
😀
Greetings from Innsbruck:)
@@borbalaszokendi3436 Servus, bist du das in dem Video?:-) Vom Foto kann ich es nicht ganz erkennen^^
@@alicjal4856 Hallo Alicia, find ich toll,dass es hier einige Leute aus Österreich gibt:-)Ich hab mir gerade gedacht wir könnten eine Whatsappgruppe initieren wo wir auch mal Treffen vereinbaren können:-) Fände ich super,wenn man sich auch mit Leuten über spirituelle Themen und natürlich auch alles andere mögliche austauschen kann. Was meinst du? lG aus Wien
Multi-dimensional being living as a human experience. I see it as a gift and I cherish it everyday..
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Needed to see this exactly today. I used to feel like this a lot in life, and sometimes when things are tough I still do, but I’ve grown more comfortable with being an “outsider”. I hope those who feel the same know you’re not outside, you are part of something bigger and you are important 💚
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Thank you.
I have felt like an outsider since I was around 5 years old I started to have realisation moments and thoughts I didn’t fit in. This has continued through school, work all my life so far. I accept its who I am since my spiritual awakening journeys and have been to healing centre to connect with people on the same level.
From the moment that i was born i feel myself an outsider, i do not have an i terest in the events of my country and still i do not fit and i do not want to fit in.
Those feelings of an “outsider” are a deeper calling to independence 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Can totally relate. Sometimes I think „I'm in this world, but not from it“ 🙃 Blessings from Germany
You aren’t supposed to be of it😊❤️
Hey, we are born out of this world!
Like the apples grow out of an apple tree.
Just more diversity in the human planet's fruitiness ☺
You are and you aren’t supposed to be of it😊
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You are 😊
It's comforting to know that quite a few people feel like me, like this hehe
And it's so tempting to just surrender and accept that I shouldn't be counting on fitting in with the majority of people ever. The desire to be liked by everybody is so strong and egoic attempts to achieve that are quite draining. Might as well just accept the futility and move on. About fitting in - maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't, who knows? But I sense it would be so liberating to stop working so hard for it. I'm getting there😀
Wish everyone a beautiful time of the day wherever you are🙃and thank you Eckhart for everything
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I could see the light in her eyes. Not many have that.
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Oh my goodness, the synchronicity of this question and answer. I felt very akin to the young lady questioner, and when she said that she came from Innsbruck I could barely believe it! I live in the UK, but have a number of very dear friends in Innsbruck - people who I feel closer to than my own family, and one particularly is very spiritual. It would be wonderful to reach out to this young lady, and put her in contact with my lovely friends.
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I relate to feeling like i am not from here. Always loved Stargazing or Observing the Universe with my Telescopes. I think we are all connected and should make an effort to change the world. I know I will try!
I spent my whole life struggling to fit in, without success. Now, I feel good thanks to Eckhart and the people who write comments below.
Someone needs to hear this 0h Lord! God almighty! I magnify your name! Yaweh I give you all the glory for my life! Forgive my sins and my un confused sins Lord! L0rd I want more of you and less of me! I thank you for your protection! I am truly blessed and highly favored I sit in heavenly places and I am the s0n of a mighty King! I love you Jesus! Lord I pray fOr those who don't know you in a intimate way that they will humble themselves and come to know you on bending knee asking for their forgiveness! Father I bind the spirit of pride! I cut it off at the head and send it back to the pit of he'll in which it has come fr0m! I release lOve, kindness, patience, humility in the name 0f Jesus! I followed my heart and I am glad I did. I lost my wife 2 years ago due to the pandemic and I was about giving up, knowing God has brought me this far was for a purpose and I kept on looking on to him. My destiny helper was sent to me the year my wife died. The moment I was about giving up, I was introduced to a business by a man I met in a seminar I went to in Florida. This was not my first time hearing of such business but I took the risk Investin 1000 USD and it was worth it feedback@markhanfarmer. C0M FOUR weeks later I kept on getting earnings and I started using the money for Gods w0rk. I am very popular in Maryland. Doing God work always give me joy. There is peace and joy in my mind. I am here to motivate you and tell you never to give up even though the situation seems so though. God has promised his children and he will surely d0 what he has promised his children.
He telling us what we NEED to hear instead of what we WANT to hear. Acceptance, especially self-acceptance is one of the most powerful, I believe, things you can ever come to love as it starts from within.
If you weren't an outsider you probably wouldn't be here. Well said. I like it here.
The moment I found presence I saw everything was so interconnected and that most other people couldn’t see beyond themselves. They felt like the outsiders and the minority to me because there’s so much more life in this universe than just human life.
I love this. Thank you. I’m going to borrow this mindset.
Yes.💚🌌
Be YOU or be nothing ❤
I started gaining more friends when I started listening more and serving more. I stopped trying to be right and looked for opportunities to encourage. I also gained quality friends by taking my time getting to know people, so yes I spent time alone, but it was worth the wait. I'm also never afraid to make friends outside my age group. However, my very very best friends are my husband and four children.
I tried this approach but find out people in our times are usually highly narcissistic (they like audiences, not friends) and unabashed users other people's time and resources.
I feel very much the same as the questioner. Due to my unusual way of perceiving and explaining things. I think there's also a fear of rejection as that was a trend in my earlier years. I love listening to Ekhart as he puts it so beautifully clearly. It gives me hope that I'll find that broken part inside me and heal it.
Best wishes. You are not alone in this journey.
More presence power to you ❤️
I wouldn't approach your self and finding happiness from the position or belief that you have a "broken part" in you.
That won't be helpful i don't think.
Life/ evolution works on the very principle of variation on a theme and diversity. With us humans and our consciousness there is even greater variety.
I encourage you to practice loving kindness I your self and move towards assuming that you are rare, and precious.
Enjoy!
- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨
Thank you
like the person every 40 seconds that commits suicide? Did they get through it?
Thank you. It's now been almost 65 years I go throug thoug time(s). Hard to believe that it'll ever be over.
Thanks buddy ❤️
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I'm from Innsbruck too!!!!! Awakening here 😀
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Thanks Mr Eckhart Tolle, your videos make me feel better ❤️💓🙂, and for those who are still in pain/suffering, and Im telling u everything is going to be ok, peace🙏
Thank you💙
Thank you ❤️
I do feel the same, I also wish I could have someone to relate to, but I'm beginning to accept it with compassion and kindness without struggling and wanting that people around me change, now I accept me and them as they are and I move forward knowing who I am.😊
Your comment has helped me a lot. Embracing compassion and kindness feels much better than struggling❤
Cool to see there are quite of few people that are em 'seeking' a way, in the sense of a sincere thing
It is okay not to be like everyone around you, you are unique and that is what makes you AMAZING!
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All my friends that radically accept me are older. The younger generations don't respect individuality so much. The young demand conformity.
I disagree!! I have many younger friends who are more accepting of who I am them my peers are. People who demand conformity can be any age and at any stage of their journey.
All generations conform but as a gen z I don’t really like how my classmates enjoy messy hair, baggy clothes, expensive wear, zodiac signs, etc. On the other hand though, the older generations don’t like homosexuals and new music. Most of my friends are older though
I had a friend at university who introduced me to Eckhart who I am very grateful for now who I miss a lot.
Love her smile at the end
I've always felt like either I was born in the wrong time or on the wrong planet.
You are not the only one who felt like that. Me too 😀
Yes, I feel that I've been parachuted into a war zone and told to get on with it! The world is too mad for me to take it all in :(
Touch my heart greatly! I had a yearning to find my community. I'm 21, and I never resonate with people in my life. Yes, I have acquaintances, but I always want to go deeper, and not a lot of people have the openness and strength to do that. I find peace when being with animals
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Trying to fit in can be mentally drain in most times
Before watching this video I would say don't try to connect outside but connect to your heart. Then often outside connects to you.
Such a great shortie!! Loved the girl and Eckhart’s response….it speaks volumes that Eckhart befriended those who others rejected even when he was a child!
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Thank you. I feel not alone. Thank you Eckhardt.
Thank you so much, Mr. Toole.
What a beautiful offering! Thank you!
Yeah...I always was different but after my awakening in 1978 I really was the outcast and I only just wanted to fit in,
but as time went on I embraced my gifts and developed and embraced being a teacher, medium healer etc. that was aware of things others weren't especially energy and how to channel it to heal lifelong illness and to do healing for others and witness people in hospice get out of bed and start eating again..it's all part of human ability and evolution, we can all learn these gifts..it's starts with cultivating presence which is why I'll always come back to listen to what Eckhart is saying. Brilliant as always!!!
Thank you, Eckhart! The timing of your videos is just incredible!
Thank you Eckhart.
So lovely and soothing to listen to Eckhart
Comforting words as always!
This was short but so helpful. I’m 41 and have never fit in anywhere (except with my husband), nor have I had many friends (almost none in childhood, and only a handful at a time in adulthood). I’ve lost job after job over 20 years and for mostly unknown reasons. Now I can’t get a job at all no matter what I do, so I’ve been feeling completely outcast and ostracized. It’s probably a good time for me to think about the idea that it’s ok to not fit in anywhere. And that maybe this is by design. Thank you, Eckhart.
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Thank you for this.💜
Most of outsiders are the creative ones.
The misfits, i can truly relate.
Purely we felt out of place because i am resonating higher callings in my life. This video made me feel less alone in this Journey.
May all of outsiders find courage to fully embrace & love ourselves.🙏🏻
Sending warm hugs.🤗
Your an inspiration to me i truly love you an all you do God bless
Encouraging, empowering message!
The same for me❤️ thank you Eckhart
I have same feelings all my life and best feeling alone.thank you for explaining this.
There are so many topics i relate to here.... thankyou mr.tolle
He is so adorable!
I was lonely outsider but i found soulmate friends, but i found more suffering through it... Social life was based on alcohol and i used it too much. This made me read Eckhart Tolle more & watching this channel, suffering, challenges and problems awaken us eventually it seems.
I, too, understand her completely!
I totally understand and identify with thr feelings.
he’s right about the creativity part.
solitude can give you so much insights, ideas, freedom!
Thank you so much for sharing this 🙏
What a nice story!
Eckhart is truly a gift from Heaven.
I feel seen and acknowledged! Relate to feeling like an outsider.
Loved this, great explanation!
Beautiful video, Eckhart(and the lady involved). Thank you for sharing.
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what you said is so good
Love you Eckart Tolle 💕 I live in London and wish to see you 🧡
Thank you for being you and being here and now. 🙏 Whenever I watch you, also when I don’t watch you, it seems a part of you is always with me. I’ve also always been an outsider, with weird ideas and weird behavior, so I learned to be happy without the connection to other people, which is amazing. But sometimes I wish I could be a part of a community of like minded people. That’s why I’m very grateful for your videos. Seeing the people you talk to and laughing warm-heartedly with you all is always a wonderful moment. Thank you 😊
What is said is so relatable. Reflecting back, childhood was pleasant emotionally, teenage years I was lost, and adult year were lots of manufactured fears. Now, middle age, after years of living life experience and meditation, I'm more relaxed. Life has brought me to a place of ease and complete trust, that I never experience before.
Good afternoon master Eckhart and everyone.
Good morning from Canada!
good afternoon to you too have a great day🤍
Bom dia do Brasil
Good answer and advice.
So Beautiful🙌
I needed this thankyou.
6:32 that's true. I'm hesitant to consider me an outsider because my ego would respond to it as being above everyone else.
It is important for me to always stay humble.
I really needed to see this video today. Thank you. Sometimes for me it's hard to feel so isolated. As humans we need sometimes someone who understands... Thank you all 🙏🤍
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Yesss, I find that if I can attend a scared ceremony to reconnect with self & self love, I get rejuvenating energy to proceed into creating my beautiful unconditional loving new earth. I cherish my scared energetic spirit family. many more are awakening and are even more curious about my growth on this path...grateful heart. The loneliness comes in from time to time, I just go inward to restore my energy. Thank you Eckhart!
as I watch this video, I say a prayer,
I pray for perfect health, for abundant wealth, and for sacred love...
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Ahhhhh so wonderful ...thank you!
So get this glad to hear someone say it--
I totally connect with this young lady. Other people bore me.
Omg same I feel bad at the moment because I don’t connect with most of my friends they actually bore me and are so self absorbed i often feel drained after being with them. But I am trying to be more social I yearn to feel a bond with people only get it a few times.
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That was very sweet from both of them. It was nice to see that connection. Also to hear how I have experienced my life journey through their words. We are not alone just scattered across the planet. Coming together in such a gathering would offer possibilities to make friendships via the Internet.
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Qué identificada me siento con esta chica... pero me siento tan feliz de experimentar el AHORA y el AMOR que SOMOS! Gracias!!! 🙏🏼💜🙇🏼♀️🌈
Very relevant question. I did feel the same way. Also as ekhart pointed out after the realization why so, always feared it should not get to my head.
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I live in Innsbruck too and feel the same, now I am moving and hopefully this will change :)
So happy to find my soulmates. We are necessary or we wouldn't be here!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for this video.
Wonderful video, thank you so much!!!!!! I’m 68 and all my life I’ve been an outsider too. I accept it and life is beautiful in all respects. I am … ♥️🙏
Yes, story of my life, and I’m still dreaming and kicking on down the road. 💜✨
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