I love how jocko admits his mistakes as a young man. Trying to be tough... I’m 31 realizing how stupid I’ve been but, I learn from my mistakes and trying to be a better man everyday.
When I turned 30, I looked myself in the mirror and realized I never met any goal set for myself in my 20's.. I felt like a loser, I told myself I was a loser, but being able to accept that for myself, my 30's became the best years to grow and learn and really become a man. Sometimes we just have to admit to ourselves the truth in order to become better
"All these people out here who talk about how great they are, and I see it all the time, it makes me sick man. Get real with yourself, people cannot relate to you man, you are un-f*cking relatable. When you come out here and say hey man, I'm the baddest motherf*cker to ever live. Okay great, well what am I gonna learn from you? You learn from people who are willing to tell you, this is where I started from, this is how much I fell on my f*cking ass, this is how bad I used to be." - David Goggins
I've learned from listening to Jocko and applying his wisdom that the phrase "how can I help?" solves almost any conflict. Nothing disarms an adversary and puts my own ego in check like sincerely, humbly trying to help the person my ego views as a threat. If I can hold back my emotions and reactions (unattaching) long enough to think rationally, I can turn almost any situation into a positive learning experience (for all involved parties). In religion, politics, business, and interpersonal relationships, the ability to distinguish between literal threats and "non-factors" are the key to the success of your agenda. Thanks for the awesome info as always!!
The Owner's Manual--- that's a great policy; one you should never disavow. Changing my policies has always lead to a pitfall, and I wish I hadn't been so quick to compromise, looking back.
P/S, I was pleasantly surprised last week to find out that my teenage daughter listens to your podcasts. This is how I found out: I started playing one of your clips and she was in the room. She said, "Hey mom - is that the Navy Seal guy's podcast? You know him too 😲?" So you guys should know your reaching out to multiple generations and effectively changing lives for better!!!! Thank you for all you do.
Adding to your commentary : I'm myself a young woman and I think I started listening to Jocko when I was 19. Since then, I'm day after day building my life and myself the way I want, owning up to some of my mistakes (sure I have plenty more to own up to haha). What I like about him is that I don't feel like I'm listening to a guru of a cult who has a huge ego and tries to mould you into what he wants. Nah, Jocko can accept that someone will think different than him, he can also accept that he's a human, he makes mistakes. He's confident but down to earth unlike some of the "mentors" we can find of TH-cam who creep me out.
I have a boss I am forced to see first thing in morning and one thing ive realized is if you just treat them with kindness and don’t expect anything back from them.... you will win every single time because even when you just say good morning and they don’t respond... they think they are insulting you with not responding but if you know better and understand that them not responding is due to their own unhappiness then them not responding is you WINNING lol
@@nighthawkdutchchameleon9815 “If it’s true that thoughts, words and ideas locked-together create language patterns… and those language patterns carry a voice, a power and a vibrational frequency of intelligent energy? Then words can light fires in the minds of those who become enlightened of the internal reality that they are creating from day to day.” - Luke Picco www.IRONCLADCONFIDENCE.com
“If it’s true that thoughts, words and ideas locked-together create language patterns… and those language patterns carry a voice, a power and a vibrational frequency of intelligent energy? Then words can light fires in the minds of those who become enlightened of the internal reality that they are creating from day to day.” - Luke Picco www.IRONCLADCONFIDENCE.com
One of my instructors when I was in class to become a towercrane driver told me " you can be the best operator in the crane but if you do not know how to handle your ground crew or the people you serve, you will suck and not have a long career up there ". or you can mess up many times but if your crew loves you, you will be a legend " I have never forgotten those words because that was a golden. To this day I still hear him yelling through my radio " NO MERCY FOR YOU DANNY BOY " My first try in a new company and 5 days later I had the job and best crew ever. Know how to handle your people.
"That sounds manipulative, conniving, not keeping it real" - Being autistic, to me even keeping it real is a sort of act that I learned to perform, so in a way I learned to view all behaviour as manipulative or somewhat acted. What matters is the intention, and when the intention is to get shit done, being cooperative and respectful to someone you despise is 100% true to the intention to get shit done. Maybe not true to your feelings but the point was to get shit done not to express your feelings.
I felt the exact same way thinking about this. I have a friend who has a lot of social influence and when I observe his interactions with people especially people he doesn't like, I noticed a lot of times he says things that I would consider technically lies, but I started to realise that it's really just the little social things people do so everything remains cordial. A lot of times I see it as manipulation, but like you said, most social interactions feel like manipulation beyond just matter of factly stating what you want, how you feel, or what you're thinking.
This was really well stated, and an eye-opener. Hopefully this doesn't come off as insensitive, but sometimes I think autism serves more as a superpower than a disability, at least with experiences I've seen. My strongest relationships have often been with people I found out yeeears later are autistic, but the bonds feel stronger because there's more authenticity in it over adjusting to established "social cues"
This is work 101, there is always someone you like less. After a while you just manage to ignore that fact, you are at work to get it done, friends are a bonus.
"Being humble goes a loooong way" - Only being 30 years old and I've realized this. Being honest about your mistakes and showing how you can improve them combined with being humble about your skills and limitations will ease most tensions. I've been to meetings where the room was electrified coming in. But being just 1 person in there to stay the course of the objective helped so much in rebuilding a bit of trust and removing tensions for further development
I drove a cab for a couple of years and one thing that learned is that if you don't respond to difficult people in a way that escalates the situation and you keep a consistent level head and do not let them influence the way that you handle the situation, 9 times out of ten they settle down rather quickly and end up with a much more productive situation.
So many people get in their own way at work by thinking that reacting emotionally and bitching at everyone and everything means that they are genuine and have integrity. This should be mandatory viewing. At work, integrity means working together and I don’t care who you like or don’t like.
@@Spartan-Of-Truth Moving to a move senior position in my workplace, I have discovered that it becomes almost mandatory to become like that a little bit. This is similiar to when you first learn the social cues, there is a pressure to know how to be social, how to hang out and interact with people normally. Simliarily, later in life there is a higher-tier pressure not only to 'be normal', but also to be able to get along and find common ground even with people who's very being is insulting to you. And don't get me wrong, the narcissistic types are the worst kind of people for me in particular, so it's not that I like it.
We get taught we screw up then have to relearn,I’m blown away at 45 and sober I’m putting myself through this self mentoring by watching Jocko and have been for the last yr,there’s no amount of thanks I can give I wake to the man I lift to him I run to him he’s literally the dad I I never had and I wish I had.
I would just like to thank you for the assistance you offered me as a young man. I've got myself together. Ill be the general manager of the restaurant I've been working at since highschool. I WILL be an owner and franchisee before I'm 21. So thanks for the help in realizing what im capable of.
Jocko, this came at the right time. You gotta know how I play the game to get ahead and care for those who you do actually like. Love you podcast, full of wisdom and insights.
This is the most helpful Jocko video I've ever watched. I have a problem where I think I'm smarter or better than a lot of my bosses and it always just stresses me out and messes things up. I'm going to try to put my ego aside and work WITH my boss to see if I can make things smoother. It's going to be hard but I think it might be worth it.
“If it’s true that thoughts, words and ideas locked-together create language patterns… and those language patterns carry a voice, a power and a vibrational frequency of intelligent energy? Then words can light fires in the minds of those who become enlightened of the internal reality that they are creating from day to day.” - Luke Picco www.IRONCLADCONFIDENCE.com
I learned this Jocko and I hope you read this. I'm 22 and learned if they're smart, be tough. If they are tough be smart. If they are foolish, be righteous. If they are righteous, be a bit foolish.
I totally agree as a starting point. Spot on, I agree with every thing. The thing I don't think you take into account is how moderate to high level narcissists treat weak individuals who show humility. It's a terrible cycle. It damages individuals long term. It's fair that you didn't bring it up, because it's relatively uncommon.
So true. It's the ego that makes us dislike other people. A good soul search has helped me many a times. From observing people who really have a name in society, but "carry out the trash out" voluntarily, that to me is a lasting lesson than the man-made "Thou shalt not!!!" Thank you for these podcasts.
6:15 you're understanding your own limitations and his limitations and taking charge of getting him to comply because he wants to, not against his ego. you're being the man.
I watch this everyday before work. I’ve been promoted twice since I started. The one I didn’t like now works underneath me. I am still not finished. Still have a mission that needs to be completed. Thanks for your inspiration.
Jocko & Echo, thank you for showcasing this story. These lessons will help to make strong people better team players. Your guys mindset is much appreciated.
IN MY OPINION, winning people that you don't like is similar to letting an enemy inside your house. There's no shortage of good people out there. If you need to win over somebody, chances are they probably shouldn't be in your life.
Once again you have shared the necessary tools for success. I dont have the right words to express how valuable the information you provide is to me, and everyone else looking for answers and solutions. Thank you.
100% agree. I would also add to build the relationship by asking opposition sincere honest questions on their way of thinking, listen, don't interrupt, let them encourage them elaborate more. You can still hold your ground and respectfully challenge, do but with calm self control.
Having hostility towards those that are not squared away. I can totally relate. I try to focus on people's positive qualities rather than the negative. Usually when we don't like someone, it's because we subconsciously see our own bad behavior in others. Next time you get angry with someone, just say to yourself, thats me on a bad day, and you'll see how your perspective changes.
When Jaco says your ego is what makes you not like somebody that's some true stuff right there and that's something that we should all look at and put our ego aside and figure them out even if there are enemy
I hear you out... I had the same situation in sports and I did put my ego aside and i still didn’t get anywhere... here my story if you care to listen... I’m in high school playing basketball.. played since 7th grade and from 7th to 10th grade my relationship with my coach was much like yours with your superior... I thought he was weak.. not a good leader or motivator.. and I felt that he was not putting his best effort towards our basketball team.. and his results reflect that.. we hardly ever had a winning season despite having above average talent on the team.. he still coaches at that school as we speak and he’s still a loser... he once told our team “I don’t care if you guys win or not I get paid on Friday”... so me being a passionate leader I always undermined him and we grew animosity between us... the breaking point was the start of my 11th grade year... we are losing by about 20 or more at half time and I can see his body language that he’s already giving up on us.. I broke the silence and said “coach why don’t we try a full court press when we go back out there it’s not over plus we have nothing to lose” if you don’t know.. a full court press is where you apply extreme pressure to try and force turnovers and prevent the other team from getting the ball past half court... it’s a tactic to change momentum and start a comeback.. well when I suggested that he belittled me in front of the whole team and pretty much told me I could never execute a full court press... a giant spit between my eyes is what it was... that night I turned in my uniform and promised myself no matter what I would never play for him again... my dad was LIVID when I told him I quit... he threaten to come to my moms and drag me outta the house and beat my ass... but I stuck to my decision and called his bluff... I had made up mind and no one could make me play for him... well i didn’t play for the rest of that Season... my senior year rolled around and my former teammates were begging me to come back and play... I told them many times I can’t play for him... the continued to express how bad they needed/wanted me to play... after all I was not the best player on the team but I was the glue the leader and the voice of our team... I told my teammates I will not ask him to come... y’all will have to ask him... (notice my ego was still in the way at that point) well my teammates everyday at practice would ask “coach are you gonna let bub come back and play his senior season?” He simply would not answer them... well now it has started to weigh on me.. I did love playing and I did love my teammates and I would love to play my senior year... so I put my ego aside and said you know what I’m gonna go talk to him and get back on the team... I went back in his office and laid my heart out on the table and told him I know I quit on you... I know you don’t owe me anything... all I’m asking is for a chance... I promise you I will give 110% percent for you and if you say jump I will leap!! If I don’t earn my spot back then that’s okay... I just want a chance... I was in tears when I was telling him this... I meant it... he straight up told me no I could not rejoin the team... well him and my dad graduated together and won a state championship in basketball at the very same school together... my brother graduated two years earlier and he was the best player on the team for 3 years averaging 28 and 12 boards a game... my first cousin had a lot of pull at the school also... so my basketball coach started receiving a lot of phone calls from a lot of people... even the head baseball coach, principal, and county supervisor requested that he allow me to play my senior year... so at last I got put back on the team... and as promised I played my ever living heart out every minute of every practice... no one on the team played with even half the effort that I did in practice and I was whipping butt in practice out doing everyone who had my position... well come time to announce the starting line up for the season... sure enough my name was on there... I got my spot back!!! I continued to play with same effort as the season started... and I didn’t ever talk back or undermine his plan... I was all support... I put ego aside and tried to make us better for the teams sake... we lost our first game of the season by 1... (to a team that full court pressed the whole game) but after that we rattled off 6 straight wins... won a county wide tournament! We were 6-1... and that’s when coach decided to relinquish my starting position and give to a under classman who was not as good as me by any measure... another spit in the face but I didn’t let it get me down and I didn’t let my ego show... I just played even harder with me minutes I was given and my minutes slowly kept going down... everytime I’d get on the court we would start playing better... again I was not the best scorer or player... but my presence out there made our star players play better... well by the end of my senior year I was never put in the game in the fourth quarter and I was only getting meaningless “breather” minutes... that’s giving starters a chance to catch their breath then coming right back out... my teammates were questioning him... fans were asking why he doesn’t play me more... but I still didn’t let my ego show.. I supported the team from bench and was the loudest cheerleader in the gym lol I even changed how my guys played from the bench.. even on senior night I didn’t start and I didn’t play much and I didn’t get put in the final minutes of my 6 year basketball career... what a thank you?! Lol I think that was his way of giving me pay back for pretty much being forced to let me play my senior year by his peers and superiors.. he only allowed me to play and start for 7 games just to get them off his back then he tortured me... we still went 19-13 that year... his only winning season and he’s been coaching there since 2006... I graduated in 2012... he’s still the coach... I still have nightmares where I’m trying to win my spot back and trying to please him... the point of me typing all this is to say.. sometimes the damage is already to severe in a relationship to reverse by changing your ego... some people are just toxic and still will not appreciate your selflessness after you’ve chosen to follow their command and work with them
Wow, this is probably the most important thing I have heard in a very long time. Everyone needs to hear this lesson every day. I need to hear this lesson everyday. If I had internalized this lesson years ago, life would have been so much different, so much better. I have antagonized every. single. stupid boss. I ever had. omg what an idiot I am. I should have known better.
Learning a lot of ways ego can manifest itself listening to Jocko. Tons of stuff for me to improve on. Bonus also is it enhances empathy and insight into others. Stripping away the things my ego could be competing for means I can focus my passions and energies on more meaningful endeavors with awareness that can benefit others and myself. Might be an age thing but I'm noticing that all the stuff ego could compete for or advertise has the additional liabilities of maintenance and deception. Maintenance in the form of you gotta keep whatever you think your ego is holding on to and deception if you try and convince others of something you don't have. If your worried about losing respect, jobs or relationships over losing that, what did you really have anyway? You were on borrowed time and son, the clock just ran out...😳
I'm dealing with someone I don't believe deserves his position right now, but I believe this video opened me up, hopefully I'll be able to continue working with him by putting my ego in check and help get the common goal achieved.
I am a smart person and I've learned tk realise how intelligence is almost pointless in life. Whatd really important is appreciating who takes the tine to embark on the adventures you lead. Without a team you will be alone and have to do everything yourself. Understanding its a two way road goes a long way when you lead a team. The best way to motivate a team is to give them something in return and try as much as possible to give them the freedom they need to realise their full potential. Another good thing to do is to listen to their suggestions and apply them if they are more clever than your own solutions! I thought being smarter meant always coming up with the smartest solutions all the time but this can't be further from the truth. Sometimes willingly giving someone less experienced the spotlight even if they might fail will give them the experience needed to be even better later on. So wiser I got in my late 10's the more I realised being a good leader meant admitting your incompetance in some things and that finding people who complete you works amaxingly well. Two people wanting to lead don't go well if you try to control everything.
Right now I have two people in our lives that unfortunately I have to deal with them. One of them is not a bad person (maybe I’m wrong) and he’s “nice” and polite but I don’t like him and I have strong reasons why. The other one is someone who at first I thought she was a “good “ person but I also have reasons why she’s not, and even though she’s also polite and “nice” with us, I wish I don’t have to deal with them at all. I am genuinely a nice person but I can’t be hypocrite, so my only option is just be polite, courteous, kill them with kindness and just tolerate them, not because I want to but bc it’s the right thing to do as a Christian even if they don’t deserve it.
This is great advice. One example that comes to mind that makes me disagree with this is supporting a family member that's in a toxic relationship (or has a bad addiction). Say you're supportive for years, you help when it's needed or when you were asked to. After every crisis your mom/sister/daughter goes back to the scum bag, because he said 'sorry' and got some flowers. Same thing for years. I think at this point you have to stop helping. So I said, 'hey, I love you, we're family. You can come to me with anything EXCEPT your relationship problems. 3rd time you failed for divorce and then you withdraw it. I was there every single time. Not anymore. It's a waste of my time, my money, my nerves. You made a choice. Live with it. If you want to change - change it.
I agree with this when your heart and head are in the right place. Jocko had a genuine interest in building a relationship with someone who also appears to want a good relationship. The issue is when one party has no desire to build a relationship with you. This does happen and the answer in those situations I think is to go play in another sandbox and build relationships with people who actually want to work with you and not against you.
Years ago, I would run into people who I didn't like. Then, I began to realize the the reason I disliked them, was because I saw my my own ego reflected in them and didn't want to be like that anymore.
always relationships are helpful to succeed our goals.when i listen this i think stupid and smart are the changing surround to move forward..i thank the both to talking real matters i face this life.this is lot of knowledge.challengfull ideals.
Placing the mission above ego, and others, so that the influence gained leads to a positive outcome and mission success. Which is not the same as 'not keeping it real', which is truly a euphemism for speaking and behaving like a jack-ass.
Thank you for putting your input and valuable responses for people as a teenager going into rotc and having goals in sf I’m lucky to have such an amazing amount of information before me.
Thank you Jocko. I personally struggle with this problem that you just dropped the solutuon to. Several guys at work dont do their job as directed/trained to do. I start by explaining how it needs to be done and why it's important to the process of streamlining production. Then 8 remind them once or twice before resorting to yelling and speaking to them in a condescending manner. I tell the other intelligent guys I work with " man! These guys are so stupid!" But, in reality i guess im being stupid and impatient because i cant figure out a way to make them want to do their job correctly. I will work on this. I really appreciate the tip. Subbed and dropped a 👍 for sure!
Its one thing to not like someone, but its another thing entirely to not respect someone. How are you supposed to foster a relationship with someone you don't respect? The best you can do is keep them around as part of a means to an end.
Thank you. I haven't had anyone to talk too about this. It completed my reasoning regarding how to handel this situation. I have bin switching between aggression and giving in totally. Or feeling like a lying fake when I create a relationship with people I genuinely dislike. But if I can see it as a means for the greater good, it feels ok. Iam surprised how much I can take with me from your talks considering we have different gender, age and roles in society.
More than the ego, in different situations, is not the ego who is playing the role when in some situations look like that. Who is directing our choices is the honor...
I tried to cooperate, get along and build a relatioship with a supervisor and the boss. They both acted quite arrogant (yet asked for humility from me), the supervisor would try to undermine my ideas to the boss and both seemed/acted threatened by me. I never understood why since I was temporary there. I never understood why the boss would have a go at me for 1,5 hour on the phone even making stuff up and not letting me speak at all, then the same in real life and even presenting my work as theirs behind my back. I really tried my absolute best to cooperate but they saw this effort as a weakness and tried to walk all over me. What could I have done better?
Being strong willed and accepting humility for the sake of harmony is paramount for wise navigators in life that I feel is lost to most people living in their preexisting expectations of conventional society. Its reassuring to hear it prescribed from our most hardened citizens knowing its key, just wish it was more widely adopted in this world of egos and overly loyal enabler lackeys keeping us clannish because of our own intolerance(s).
“You’re damn right I’m hostile towards people that aren’t squared away”
I died
😂
😄😄😄
"If I'm so smart, why am I losing?"
Amazing way to check your own ego and get the hell out of your own way.
I love how jocko admits his mistakes as a young man. Trying to be tough... I’m 31 realizing how stupid I’ve been but, I learn from my mistakes and trying to be a better man everyday.
When I turned 30, I looked myself in the mirror and realized I never met any goal set for myself in my 20's.. I felt like a loser, I told myself I was a loser, but being able to accept that for myself, my 30's became the best years to grow and learn and really become a man.
Sometimes we just have to admit to ourselves the truth in order to become better
Agreed 100%.
"All these people out here who talk about how great they are, and I see it all the time, it makes me sick man. Get real with yourself, people cannot relate to you man, you are un-f*cking relatable. When you come out here and say hey man, I'm the baddest motherf*cker to ever live. Okay great, well what am I gonna learn from you? You learn from people who are willing to tell you, this is where I started from, this is how much I fell on my f*cking ass, this is how bad I used to be." - David Goggins
I feel it. 25 and didn't have any male role models in my life. So luckily I grt to choose them now.
The Lord Jesus Christ helped me see my sins and flaws.
I've learned from listening to Jocko and applying his wisdom that the phrase "how can I help?" solves almost any conflict. Nothing disarms an adversary and puts my own ego in check like sincerely, humbly trying to help the person my ego views as a threat.
If I can hold back my emotions and reactions (unattaching) long enough to think rationally, I can turn almost any situation into a positive learning experience (for all involved parties).
In religion, politics, business, and interpersonal relationships, the ability to distinguish between literal threats and "non-factors" are the key to the success of your agenda. Thanks for the awesome info as always!!
Accomplish the mission at all costs!
This is so helpful!! Thank you man! 🙏🏼
I totally agree
The Owner's Manual--- that's a great policy; one you should never disavow. Changing my policies has always lead to a pitfall, and I wish I hadn't been so quick to compromise, looking back.
thats actually really useful info. Thanks for sharing this as it will help almost anyone who reads this!
P/S, I was pleasantly surprised last week to find out that my teenage daughter listens to your podcasts. This is how I found out: I started playing one of your clips and she was in the room. She said, "Hey mom - is that the Navy Seal guy's podcast? You know him too 😲?"
So you guys should know your reaching out to multiple generations and effectively changing lives for better!!!! Thank you for all you do.
@Great Cornholio 🤣
God bless her... there aren’t many kids in this generation that listen to these type of topics 💪🏼
So cool
Adding to your commentary : I'm myself a young woman and I think I started listening to Jocko when I was 19. Since then, I'm day after day building my life and myself the way I want, owning up to some of my mistakes (sure I have plenty more to own up to haha). What I like about him is that I don't feel like I'm listening to a guru of a cult who has a huge ego and tries to mould you into what he wants. Nah, Jocko can accept that someone will think different than him, he can also accept that he's a human, he makes mistakes. He's confident but down to earth unlike some of the "mentors" we can find of TH-cam who creep me out.
I have a boss I am forced to see first thing in morning and one thing ive realized is if you just treat them with kindness and don’t expect anything back from them.... you will win every single time because even when you just say good morning and they don’t respond... they think they are insulting you with not responding but if you know better and understand that them not responding is due to their own unhappiness then them not responding is you WINNING lol
Kill them with kindness
Take a piece of crap to work with you in a plastic bag and put it on his desk
@@nighthawkdutchchameleon9815 “If it’s true that thoughts, words and ideas locked-together create language patterns… and those language patterns carry a voice, a power and a vibrational frequency of intelligent energy? Then words can light fires in the minds of those who become enlightened of the internal reality that they are creating from day to day.” - Luke Picco www.IRONCLADCONFIDENCE.com
“If it’s true that thoughts, words and ideas locked-together create language patterns… and those language patterns carry a voice, a power and a vibrational frequency of intelligent energy? Then words can light fires in the minds of those who become enlightened of the internal reality that they are creating from day to day.” - Luke Picco www.IRONCLADCONFIDENCE.com
Ironclad Confidence Turn that thing off that makes you post twice other than that well said.
One of my instructors when I was in class to become a towercrane driver told me " you can be the best operator in the crane but if you do not know how to handle your ground crew or the people you serve, you will suck and not have a long career up there ". or you can mess up many times but if your crew loves you, you will be a legend "
I have never forgotten those words because that was a golden. To this day I still hear him yelling through my radio " NO MERCY FOR YOU DANNY BOY "
My first try in a new company and 5 days later I had the job and best crew ever. Know how to handle your people.
👍🏻❤️
This really hit home...I've always thought I was humble but deep down I'm too conceited...I'm gonna work on it from here on out
Don’t forget , inferiority complex is a form of superiority complex
We can tell from your profile picture. Hi, let’s be friends?
Same bro same!
"That sounds manipulative, conniving, not keeping it real" - Being autistic, to me even keeping it real is a sort of act that I learned to perform, so in a way I learned to view all behaviour as manipulative or somewhat acted. What matters is the intention, and when the intention is to get shit done, being cooperative and respectful to someone you despise is 100% true to the intention to get shit done. Maybe not true to your feelings but the point was to get shit done not to express your feelings.
I felt the exact same way thinking about this. I have a friend who has a lot of social influence and when I observe his interactions with people especially people he doesn't like, I noticed a lot of times he says things that I would consider technically lies, but I started to realise that it's really just the little social things people do so everything remains cordial. A lot of times I see it as manipulation, but like you said, most social interactions feel like manipulation beyond just matter of factly stating what you want, how you feel, or what you're thinking.
This comment very concisely summarized my thoughts in a way that seems like it will be very easy to remember and therefore apply. Thank you.
Pink Harmonica Glad my comment helped! Also, at least for me, being nice, pleasant, courteous etc to people makes life nicer!
This was really well stated, and an eye-opener.
Hopefully this doesn't come off as insensitive, but sometimes I think autism serves more as a superpower than a disability, at least with experiences I've seen. My strongest relationships have often been with people I found out yeeears later are autistic, but the bonds feel stronger because there's more authenticity in it over adjusting to established "social cues"
This is work 101, there is always someone you like less. After a while you just manage to ignore that fact, you are at work to get it done, friends are a bonus.
It's called showbiz not show friends...I use this reminder to myself many times a week
I tell myself this every day I go to work
Ehhh life’s to short to be around people who don’t blend well with your energy
@@jDot2414that is true. Having to put up with that BS everyday just drains the life outta you.
Love the humility that Jocko shows in his response here. Really says a lot about the character of a man to acknowledge his weaknesses.
"Being humble goes a loooong way" - Only being 30 years old and I've realized this. Being honest about your mistakes and showing how you can improve them combined with being humble about your skills and limitations will ease most tensions. I've been to meetings where the room was electrified coming in. But being just 1 person in there to stay the course of the objective helped so much in rebuilding a bit of trust and removing tensions for further development
"wisdom based on humility leads to progress. wisdom based on hostility leads to regress" Eugene Logan
I drove a cab for a couple of years and one thing that learned is that if you don't respond to difficult people in a way that escalates the situation and you keep a consistent level head and do not let them influence the way that you handle the situation, 9 times out of ten they settle down rather quickly and end up with a much more productive situation.
So many people get in their own way at work by thinking that reacting emotionally and bitching at everyone and everything means that they are genuine and have integrity. This should be mandatory viewing. At work, integrity means working together and I don’t care who you like or don’t like.
Jocko often looks like a little boy with a big secret he can't wait to tell his best friend :)
Cept his biceps would crush our nuts on a hiccup
Ha ha
Except he knows how to murder people and has murdered people.
It feels like he has the same pure soul and wisdom as a child.
Yosef Chaim he killed terrorist, don’t consider terrorist actually human beings
Building a relationship and working with someone you don’t like to achieve a mission. That’s professionalism. That’s how you win.
It’s also how people become narcissistic.
@@Spartan-Of-Truth Moving to a move senior position in my workplace, I have discovered that it becomes almost mandatory to become like that a little bit. This is similiar to when you first learn the social cues, there is a pressure to know how to be social, how to hang out and interact with people normally. Simliarily, later in life there is a higher-tier pressure not only to 'be normal', but also to be able to get along and find common ground even with people who's very being is insulting to you. And don't get me wrong, the narcissistic types are the worst kind of people for me in particular, so it's not that I like it.
We get taught we screw up then have to relearn,I’m blown away at 45 and sober I’m putting myself through this self mentoring by watching Jocko and have been for the last yr,there’s no amount of thanks I can give I wake to the man I lift to him I run to him he’s literally the dad I I never had and I wish I had.
I would just like to thank you for the assistance you offered me as a young man. I've got myself together. Ill be the general manager of the restaurant I've been working at since highschool. I WILL be an owner and franchisee before I'm 21. So thanks for the help in realizing what im capable of.
Agreed
You’re the man! Rooting for you!!!
Checking in @honeybadgerftw have you been able to be the owner or be closer to the goal?
How you doing right now?
'Being humble goes a loooong way'.
This subject resonates with me and I imagine most people. Ego and pride can be major stumbling blocks for all people.
Jocko, this came at the right time. You gotta know how I play the game to get ahead and care for those who you do actually like.
Love you podcast, full of wisdom and insights.
This is the most helpful Jocko video I've ever watched. I have a problem where I think I'm smarter or better than a lot of my bosses and it always just stresses me out and messes things up. I'm going to try to put my ego aside and work WITH my boss to see if I can make things smoother. It's going to be hard but I think it might be worth it.
That sounds great, Santa!
“If it’s true that thoughts, words and ideas locked-together create language patterns… and those language patterns carry a voice, a power and a vibrational frequency of intelligent energy? Then words can light fires in the minds of those who become enlightened of the internal reality that they are creating from day to day.” - Luke Picco www.IRONCLADCONFIDENCE.com
I learned this Jocko and I hope you read this. I'm 22 and learned if they're smart, be tough. If they are tough be smart. If they are foolish, be righteous. If they are righteous, be a bit foolish.
Be kind to people, but don't let them take advantage of you. And trust people, but don't let them deceive you.
You know, this is the reassurance I needed to hear to motivate me to let go of my personal ambitions for the sake of my team.
I totally agree as a starting point. Spot on, I agree with every thing.
The thing I don't think you take into account is how moderate to high level narcissists treat weak individuals who show humility. It's a terrible cycle. It damages individuals long term.
It's fair that you didn't bring it up, because it's relatively uncommon.
Sitting here eating my post workout meal and getting life lessons from Jocko...
Life is good. Much love n respect! 🤙🤙🤙
That was one of the best podcasts of Jocko I ever heard. And Echo has much more intense energy in this one.
So true. It's the ego that makes us dislike other people. A good soul search has helped me many a times. From observing people who really have a name in society, but "carry out the trash out" voluntarily, that to me is a lasting lesson than the man-made "Thou shalt not!!!"
Thank you for these podcasts.
Jocko's message and method is worthy to be saluted every time we listen. His sidekick cheer leader needs to grow up.
6:15 you're understanding your own limitations and his limitations and taking charge of getting him to comply because he wants to, not against his ego.
you're being the man.
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." (The Godfather Rule)
I watch this everyday before work. I’ve been promoted twice since I started. The one I didn’t like now works underneath me. I am still not finished. Still have a mission that needs to be completed. Thanks for your inspiration.
Jocko & Echo, thank you for showcasing this story. These lessons will help to make strong people better team players. Your guys mindset is much appreciated.
IN MY OPINION, winning people that you don't like is similar to letting an enemy inside your house. There's no shortage of good people out there. If you need to win over somebody, chances are they probably shouldn't be in your life.
I love how you guys can be humble and tough at the same time. Too many tough guys out there need to humble themselves
That’s what combat sports does to a man😌
“A lion does not have to prove he’s tough, everyone knows he’s the King”
@@kashlorwebb that funny I always say I know some tough MFers but none of them ever talked about how tough they were.
Once again you have shared the necessary tools for success. I dont have the right words to express how valuable the information you provide is to me, and everyone else looking for answers and solutions. Thank you.
"Never outshine the master."
100% agree. I would also add to build the relationship by asking opposition sincere honest questions on their way of thinking, listen, don't interrupt, let them encourage them elaborate more. You can still hold your ground and respectfully challenge, do but with calm self control.
Having hostility towards those that are not squared away. I can totally relate. I try to focus on people's positive qualities rather than the negative. Usually when we don't like someone, it's because we subconsciously see our own bad behavior in others. Next time you get angry with someone, just say to yourself, thats me on a bad day, and you'll see how your perspective changes.
What if that's not you on a bad day and its just genuinely a bad coworker?
It's nice to hear how much I was also like Jocko when I was young. I smiled ear to ear through this whole video.
I am in a challenging situation and this is so helpful. Thank you.
Jocko dropping gems all day, every day!
When Jaco says your ego is what makes you not like somebody that's some true stuff right there and that's something that we should all look at and put our ego aside and figure them out even if there are enemy
By the way my talk-to-text refuses to even spell my own daughter's name correctly LOL
I hear you out... I had the same situation in sports and I did put my ego aside and i still didn’t get anywhere... here my story if you care to listen... I’m in high school playing basketball.. played since 7th grade and from 7th to 10th grade my relationship with my coach was much like yours with your superior... I thought he was weak.. not a good leader or motivator.. and I felt that he was not putting his best effort towards our basketball team.. and his results reflect that.. we hardly ever had a winning season despite having above average talent on the team.. he still coaches at that school as we speak and he’s still a loser... he once told our team “I don’t care if you guys win or not I get paid on Friday”... so me being a passionate leader I always undermined him and we grew animosity between us... the breaking point was the start of my 11th grade year... we are losing by about 20 or more at half time and I can see his body language that he’s already giving up on us.. I broke the silence and said “coach why don’t we try a full court press when we go back out there it’s not over plus we have nothing to lose” if you don’t know.. a full court press is where you apply extreme pressure to try and force turnovers and prevent the other team from getting the ball past half court... it’s a tactic to change momentum and start a comeback.. well when I suggested that he belittled me in front of the whole team and pretty much told me I could never execute a full court press... a giant spit between my eyes is what it was... that night I turned in my uniform and promised myself no matter what I would never play for him again... my dad was LIVID when I told him I quit... he threaten to come to my moms and drag me outta the house and beat my ass... but I stuck to my decision and called his bluff... I had made up mind and no one could make me play for him... well i didn’t play for the rest of that Season... my senior year rolled around and my former teammates were begging me to come back and play... I told them many times I can’t play for him... the continued to express how bad they needed/wanted me to play... after all I was not the best player on the team but I was the glue the leader and the voice of our team... I told my teammates I will not ask him to come... y’all will have to ask him... (notice my ego was still in the way at that point) well my teammates everyday at practice would ask “coach are you gonna let bub come back and play his senior season?” He simply would not answer them... well now it has started to weigh on me.. I did love playing and I did love my teammates and I would love to play my senior year... so I put my ego aside and said you know what I’m gonna go talk to him and get back on the team... I went back in his office and laid my heart out on the table and told him I know I quit on you... I know you don’t owe me anything... all I’m asking is for a chance... I promise you I will give 110% percent for you and if you say jump I will leap!! If I don’t earn my spot back then that’s okay... I just want a chance... I was in tears when I was telling him this... I meant it... he straight up told me no I could not rejoin the team... well him and my dad graduated together and won a state championship in basketball at the very same school together... my brother graduated two years earlier and he was the best player on the team for 3 years averaging 28 and 12 boards a game... my first cousin had a lot of pull at the school also... so my basketball coach started receiving a lot of phone calls from a lot of people... even the head baseball coach, principal, and county supervisor requested that he allow me to play my senior year... so at last I got put back on the team... and as promised I played my ever living heart out every minute of every practice... no one on the team played with even half the effort that I did in practice and I was whipping butt in practice out doing everyone who had my position... well come time to announce the starting line up for the season... sure enough my name was on there... I got my spot back!!! I continued to play with same effort as the season started... and I didn’t ever talk back or undermine his plan... I was all support... I put ego aside and tried to make us better for the teams sake... we lost our first game of the season by 1... (to a team that full court pressed the whole game) but after that we rattled off 6 straight wins... won a county wide tournament! We were 6-1... and that’s when coach decided to relinquish my starting position and give to a under classman who was not as good as me by any measure... another spit in the face but I didn’t let it get me down and I didn’t let my ego show... I just played even harder with me minutes I was given and my minutes slowly kept going down... everytime I’d get on the court we would start playing better... again I was not the best scorer or player... but my presence out there made our star players play better... well by the end of my senior year I was never put in the game in the fourth quarter and I was only getting meaningless “breather” minutes... that’s giving starters a chance to catch their breath then coming right back out... my teammates were questioning him... fans were asking why he doesn’t play me more... but I still didn’t let my ego show.. I supported the team from bench and was the loudest cheerleader in the gym lol I even changed how my guys played from the bench.. even on senior night I didn’t start and I didn’t play much and I didn’t get put in the final minutes of my 6 year basketball career... what a thank you?! Lol I think that was his way of giving me pay back for pretty much being forced to let me play my senior year by his peers and superiors.. he only allowed me to play and start for 7 games just to get them off his back then he tortured me... we still went 19-13 that year... his only winning season and he’s been coaching there since 2006... I graduated in 2012... he’s still the coach... I still have nightmares where I’m trying to win my spot back and trying to please him... the point of me typing all this is to say.. sometimes the damage is already to severe in a relationship to reverse by changing your ego... some people are just toxic and still will not appreciate your selflessness after you’ve chosen to follow their command and work with them
"Being humble goes a long way." Damn straight it does.
I am 40 years old and I am just now learning this.
Agreed,we must start with Humility! Thank you! Very helpful!
Wow, this is probably the most important thing I have heard in a very long time. Everyone needs to hear this lesson every day. I need to hear this lesson everyday. If I had internalized this lesson years ago, life would have been so much different, so much better. I have antagonized every. single. stupid boss. I ever had. omg what an idiot I am. I should have known better.
5:30 The difference between truth and the subtitles are awesome. 💯
"We all need each other, for each of us, needs all of us." Jim Rohn
Learning a lot of ways ego can manifest itself listening to Jocko.
Tons of stuff for me to improve on.
Bonus also is it enhances empathy and insight into others.
Stripping away the things my ego could be competing for means I can focus my passions and energies on more meaningful endeavors with awareness that can benefit others and myself.
Might be an age thing but I'm noticing that all the stuff ego could compete for or advertise has the additional liabilities of maintenance and deception. Maintenance in the form of you gotta keep whatever you think your ego is holding on to and deception if you try and convince others of something you don't have.
If your worried about losing respect, jobs or relationships over losing that, what did you really have anyway?
You were on borrowed time and son, the clock just ran out...😳
Yup the last bit resonates with me. So many people get to a position of authority and things become 'beneath' them. I always take out the trash
I'm dealing with someone I don't believe deserves his position right now, but I believe this video opened me up, hopefully I'll be able to continue working with him by putting my ego in check and help get the common goal achieved.
1:22 Echo mumbles "bck iN tHe dEy"
Jocko, I wish I had heard these words 6 months ago. This is pure wisdom.
Often what we dislike in others is the thing we dislike within ourselves subconsciously.
I am a smart person and I've learned tk realise how intelligence is almost pointless in life. Whatd really important is appreciating who takes the tine to embark on the adventures you lead. Without a team you will be alone and have to do everything yourself. Understanding its a two way road goes a long way when you lead a team.
The best way to motivate a team is to give them something in return and try as much as possible to give them the freedom they need to realise their full potential. Another good thing to do is to listen to their suggestions and apply them if they are more clever than your own solutions! I thought being smarter meant always coming up with the smartest solutions all the time but this can't be further from the truth. Sometimes willingly giving someone less experienced the spotlight even if they might fail will give them the experience needed to be even better later on.
So wiser I got in my late 10's the more I realised being a good leader meant admitting your incompetance in some things and that finding people who complete you works amaxingly well. Two people wanting to lead don't go well if you try to control everything.
Right now I have two people in our lives that unfortunately I have to deal with them. One of them is not a bad person (maybe I’m wrong) and he’s “nice” and polite but I don’t like him and I have strong reasons why. The other one is someone who at first I thought she was a “good “ person but I also have reasons why she’s not, and even though she’s also polite and “nice” with us, I wish I don’t have to deal with them at all. I am genuinely a nice person but I can’t be hypocrite, so my only option is just be polite, courteous, kill them with kindness and just tolerate them, not because I want to but bc it’s the right thing to do as a Christian even if they don’t deserve it.
Applying this lesson NOW.
Jocko is so badass talking about these kinds of iffy topics.
Happens in construction work all the time thanks for the knowledge
Hope y'all are safe out there
This is great advice. One example that comes to mind that makes me disagree with this is supporting a family member that's in a toxic relationship (or has a bad addiction). Say you're supportive for years, you help when it's needed or when you were asked to. After every crisis your mom/sister/daughter goes back to the scum bag, because he said 'sorry' and got some flowers. Same thing for years. I think at this point you have to stop helping.
So I said, 'hey, I love you, we're family. You can come to me with anything EXCEPT your relationship problems. 3rd time you failed for divorce and then you withdraw it. I was there every single time. Not anymore. It's a waste of my time, my money, my nerves. You made a choice. Live with it. If you want to change - change it.
I love jocko’s lessons cause they can all be applied in pretty much any aspect of your life like this question if I am so smart, why am I not winning
I agree with this when your heart and head are in the right place. Jocko had a genuine interest in building a relationship with someone who also appears to want a good relationship. The issue is when one party has no desire to build a relationship with you. This does happen and the answer in those situations I think is to go play in another sandbox and build relationships with people who actually want to work with you and not against you.
Could listen to Jocko all day
It’s tough but you just have to smile at them and not let them get to you, as hard as it is.
Yes, is work for the group, and achieve the goal for the better of all.. ego is only a distraction for our future achievements.
The only way to inch the rock up the hill is to work as a team. Putting you ego aside is a must, be humble whether you lead or you follow.
You are never to good to take out the trash. Love that
Need more discipline = need more jocko
"Improve our operational capability" I feel that on some next level sh*t Jocko
Years ago, I would run into people who I didn't like.
Then, I began to realize the the reason I disliked them, was because I saw my my own ego reflected in them and didn't want to be like that anymore.
Well spoken. INTELLIGENT lecture.
Jocko your the man dude! So fascinating and knowledgeable! I been telling anyone with ears about your podcast
“Abrasive” is what I was always told!
First 10 years in the military!
always relationships are helpful to succeed our goals.when i listen this i think stupid and smart are the changing surround to move forward..i thank the both to talking real matters i face this life.this is lot of knowledge.challengfull ideals.
Placing the mission above ego, and others, so that the influence gained leads to a positive outcome and mission success. Which is not the same as 'not keeping it real', which is truly a euphemism for speaking and behaving like a jack-ass.
This the mentality of a true team leader & team worrier u go Jocko💪🙏👍
Can’t believe I just discovered this guy. So much insight
Always finding some great take aways from your podcasts!!! thank you!!
How about how to fight leaders at work whom are passive aggressive and not get in trouble
Scooters Videos I don’t think you can teach grammar to someone who has a IQ of 195
@@thedailytruth8833 do you watch rick and morty too?
Wise Dirt Only on Thursday’s buddy
Don't "fight". Just get the job done.
Thank you. Honesty is the framework for progress.
I took this approach with a superior at a new job. I put my ego aside and we have a great relationship. It’s funny how the advice breaks down silos
Love the content! Really helps me look deep within myself and keep my own ego in check!
Thank you for putting your input and valuable responses for people as a teenager going into rotc and having goals in sf I’m lucky to have such an amazing amount of information before me.
Thank you Jocko. I personally struggle with this problem that you just dropped the solutuon to. Several guys at work dont do their job as directed/trained to do. I start by explaining how it needs to be done and why it's important to the process of streamlining production. Then 8 remind them once or twice before resorting to yelling and speaking to them in a condescending manner. I tell the other intelligent guys I work with " man! These guys are so stupid!" But, in reality i guess im being stupid and impatient because i cant figure out a way to make them want to do their job correctly. I will work on this. I really appreciate the tip. Subbed and dropped a 👍 for sure!
its a majority of the time but you gotta make it work.
This is amazing wisdom and exactly what I needed to hear right now!👊🏼💥🇺🇸🦅🏆
Its one thing to not like someone, but its another thing entirely to not respect someone. How are you supposed to foster a relationship with someone you don't respect? The best you can do is keep them around as part of a means to an end.
Damn G!
Needed to hear this today!
Shout out to jocko and echo for dropping some free game.
Thank you. I haven't had anyone to talk too about this. It completed my reasoning regarding how to handel this situation. I have bin switching between aggression and giving in totally. Or feeling like a lying fake when I create a relationship with people I genuinely dislike. But if I can see it as a means for the greater good, it feels ok. Iam surprised how much I can take with me from your talks considering we have different gender, age and roles in society.
Time lapse 5:00 When you do flattering etc. then you will be the best man of any boss.
Damn if I didn’t need to hear this where I’m at in life. Thank you
Appreciate it TH-cam, This helped my mental
Good info to reflect on and adapt to!
More than the ego, in different situations, is not the ego who is playing the role when in some situations look like that. Who is directing our choices is the honor...
I tried to cooperate, get along and build a relatioship with a supervisor and the boss. They both acted quite arrogant (yet asked for humility from me), the supervisor would try to undermine my ideas to the boss and both seemed/acted threatened by me. I never understood why since I was temporary there.
I never understood why the boss would have a go at me for 1,5 hour on the phone even making stuff up and not letting me speak at all, then the same in real life and even presenting my work as theirs behind my back.
I really tried my absolute best to cooperate but they saw this effort as a weakness and tried to walk all over me.
What could I have done better?
Being strong willed and accepting humility for the sake of harmony is paramount for wise navigators in life that I feel is lost to most people living in their preexisting expectations of conventional society. Its reassuring to hear it prescribed from our most hardened citizens knowing its key, just wish it was more widely adopted in this world of egos and overly loyal enabler lackeys keeping us clannish because of our own intolerance(s).