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She doesnt care. She wants no contact. She's made me out to be a monster. She blocked me everywhere. Its been 65 days. I cant even go see my cats, or get a few things of mine she still has. 2 weeks into no contact she filed a restraining order against me. Then failed to show up to court... which was the 1 year anniversary of us loosing our baby. I know shes suffering, even though she won't show it. I just want her to know I forgive her.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
If you have to put someone in no contact for over 30 days, then you might as well move on and heal. They don't care to reach out for a whole month? Especially if you haven't done anything wrong? And no legit reason was given? Keep it moving. That's just disrespectful.
Ah, "meeting your own needs." I'm still waiting for the naysayers to come out and dispute this one in the comments like they do with me. Jokes aside though, I definitely agree with this advice. Going no contact means ceasing ALL contact with an ex (or someone who ghosted you) and you should be focused on friends, hobbies, and interests. I would also suggest meeting (not necessarily dating) new people simply because it puts you into an abundance mindset so you don't get fixated on that person. Meeting people at the gym, a yoga class, dance class, or cooking class is a great way to start. Great video!
@@bulldogsnewleaf-m7g I disagree. I'd say it's pretty easy, it's just most people just have a limited mindset. 🤷🏿♂️ P.S. you're back from the other side!
@@sifublack192 with my no contact I disappear like bulldogs ghost. I go quiet quiet. Then I'll pop up a year later after a bunch of healing and goal setting and level tf up. That's the way to do it. 💪
He, an FA, reached out to me on the 6th week of no contact while I was deep in self-healing. Sometimes I wonder if replying politely was not the best idea. I wondered if my answer should have had more warmth. This video evaporated my worries so I'm grateful. He has not done any healing and my response was just appropriate 😊
This was fantastically helpful, thank you Thais! I followed the script and just as predicted, after 2 1/2 months I got a short handwritten note in the mail: “Hey, I’ve been trying to give you space but I’m wondering how you’re doing.”. I cried and agonized over that note for longer than I care to admit, but ultimately didn’t respond. That was 9 months ago and I _still_ sometimes wonder if I “missed my chance”. Now I see that I didn’t, and I can’t begin to express how huge that is for my healing. Thank you for talking about this critical fork in the road with clarity ❤
....Is there a camera in my house that you're watching me through? Because you posted this *exactly* when I needed it, I swear! Thank you so much!!! 😭🖤
It's been 4 months, and i still can't get over her. I know I shouldn't have but yesterday I called her dad. 3 days ago was her sons birthday and there's always a family gathering. I felt that extra pang of pain that day, not just missing her but the whole family. He reiterated he doesn't tell her I have spoken to him, that he truly can't understand why she did this but worst of all she seemed so happy on the day. It's not that I don't want her to be happy, just didn't want that to be because I'm gone.
She's likely not happy because you're gone. It's that initial feeling of relief that avoidants get after a breakup and a long build up of too many feelings and/or stress. ❤
@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life Thank you for your thoughts. I knew she struggled with the decision, telling me she doesn't know if this is the right thing. I saw her 10 days after the breakup, and she was happy and chatting with her cousin on the phone, laughing. She kept contacting me every week or so. After a month, I said I need you to stop, I need time to heal. So, you're breaking up with me now? What? None of her family understands why. Her dad said she's just finished with the move and her studies for the semester, so maybe she'll have time now to ruminate. He suggested I don't move on just yet, give it a couple more months. The problem is never knowing. I understand about the avoidant thing, but she was 5 years single before me, and when I asked her if she planned finding someone else she said if I can't handle a relationship with you I can't handle it with anyone. Her dad says she hasn't moved on. I'm in limbo. She never even said goodbye to my son, and that really hurt him. I know it's all classic avoidant, now she's likely thinking about things, maybe even missing me. Who knows. I want closure. I want to know if she's moved on so I can do the same.
@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life yeah but we're talking about the day of her son's birthday. She was happy, according to her dad. It might be that she was happy having the family around to bring a sense of normality, but it's been 4 months. Like I never existed. So cold.
No contact? Good bye! There’s only one person that can help them, and that’s themselves. I’ve done my time, it’s over with!Too many years of investing my emotions, and nothing accomplished! (being an Empath) I’m out, and done!
My avoidant wanted a break, due to loss in interest, and too much availability and over loving. Came out of no where, days prior she was making plans and all the typical stuff. Today is Day 48 no contact. Day 20 she was looking in our Snapchat and saved a photo (my location is off), 1 week after that she hasn’t been on Snapchat since day 27. This week her sister and her self have liked 2 of my instagram posts as of the last 7 days. But no contact yet 🙄
Once again …. talking about healing OURSELVES and OUR core wounds and selling the courses. Some of us are secure attachment! Also I would bet that most avoidants do not return and say, Guess what I’ve been working on myself and healing and wanna try again. Too vulnerable!
What if your significant other is going through a midlife crisis depression how would that affect going? No contact or smart contact in my case because we have kids after 22 years of marriage and three kids I don’t know who she is. Her mother died of breast cancer, and we had several other traumas And she just picked up and left in the middle of the night. She eventually ended up in the emergency room and is getting psychological help her mother suffered from depression and was a hoarder. Any advice on that would be greatly appreciated after 22 years I’d give anything to reconcile and make things better. I just don’t know how to do that.
I have a question ....my ex is a fearful avoidant she broke up with me a year a go.....I walked away from the first day into no contact without begging her or ask why did she broke up with me .....I unfollowed her from all my social media but at the same time she was aggresively posting storys talking about me by the songs.....she's my cousin that's why I know what's she posted this entire time.... but right now she still badly try to make me jealous on social media what should I do ?
OK maybe I misunderstanding: the idea is for no contact to be temporary? I’m trying to do permanent no contact because I’m done… I just don’t have it in me anymore.
You can absolutely do a permanent no contact. I have. Block on everything and pretend they don't exist. Out of sight, out of mind. Some do no contact as a manipulation strategy to get their ex back and others use it to heal and be better for themselves and if their last relationship circles back around, they'll be more healed and show up with boundaries and also better communication strategies.
It’s understandable to feel like you’re ready for permanent no contact, especially if you feel emotionally drained. No contact is a personal decision, and whether it’s temporary or permanent, it’s about protecting your peace and doing what’s best for you. Trust your instincts-you know what you need. 💛
Can you talk about if there is a way to correct the situation.. I.e. reached out to show support not understanding this no contact stuff, had a great connection, spoke openly about many things and never seen any red flag! Just stonewalled, then when out because you have same friend circle, you run into that person. They act like they are angry toward you and stay completely distant when there was zero argument, no issue that led to this yet act as if they cannot stand you. What does this mean? @thais
@thais can you give some insight on what it means when one you were dating, great connection, conversation aligned to action and always showed up then just stonewalls when there was no conflict, no issue that occurred to be enemies or what have you.. you see them out because same friend circle, they treat you like complete crap. Seemingly mad at you, stay completely away from your area even tho everyone else is hanging around. Truthfully the hardest thing when you once were so happy to be in the same space and now it’s as if they cannot stand you, why is this?
@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life when you save a post you can choose where to save it on the app (you can make different lists), we had a list that both of us could add to and see. When we were together, we filled it with deep and sentimental videos/memes etc
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th-cam.com/users/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa0hOemJmdFJxVFh6WEhqVUd2eUhpYlI5TkN3Z3xBQ3Jtc0ttNFRSbVljQXRNNEhZck5OdFdpTUpJbGcxYXBySEVGTWZ6emc1Qnk2clBzRDJuSzhLZEZMQlBtREhtMGhseTduOEt6MnBERkZvajhFOHRrRTRhUC16ZldiazljdFlRLUl3eDI3dkRwYm9lOXZuQ2xySQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fattachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com%2Fblack-friday%3FDyoutube%26Dorganic%26Dblack-friday%26Dorganic%26D7_rUMpM5mlA%26Dyt-11-20-24%26el%3Dyoutube&v=7_rUMpM5mlA
She doesnt care. She wants no contact. She's made me out to be a monster.
She blocked me everywhere. Its been 65 days. I cant even go see my cats, or get a few things of mine she still has.
2 weeks into no contact she filed a restraining order against me. Then failed to show up to court... which was the 1 year anniversary of us loosing our baby.
I know shes suffering, even though she won't show it.
I just want her to know I forgive her.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
If you have to put someone in no contact for over 30 days, then you might as well move on and heal. They don't care to reach out for a whole month? Especially if you haven't done anything wrong? And no legit reason was given?
Keep it moving. That's just disrespectful.
Ah, "meeting your own needs." I'm still waiting for the naysayers to come out and dispute this one in the comments like they do with me. Jokes aside though, I definitely agree with this advice. Going no contact means ceasing ALL contact with an ex (or someone who ghosted you) and you should be focused on friends, hobbies, and interests. I would also suggest meeting (not necessarily dating) new people simply because it puts you into an abundance mindset so you don't get fixated on that person. Meeting people at the gym, a yoga class, dance class, or cooking class is a great way to start. Great video!
validation, being special, and connection - those are hard needs to replace when a partner clogs those holes like flex seal 😂
@@bulldogsnewleaf-m7g I disagree. I'd say it's pretty easy, it's just most people just have a limited mindset. 🤷🏿♂️
P.S. you're back from the other side!
@@sifublack192 everything is easy to someone ✌
I'm low-key obsessed with your name changes@@bulldogsnewleaf-m7g
@@sifublack192 with my no contact I disappear like bulldogs ghost. I go quiet quiet. Then I'll pop up a year later after a bunch of healing and goal setting and level tf up. That's the way to do it. 💪
more red flags then green…no reciprocal energy…I deserve someone who doesn’t take me for granted
If you didn’t need reciprocation it indicates you are whole already.
He, an FA, reached out to me on the 6th week of no contact while I was deep in self-healing. Sometimes I wonder if replying politely was not the best idea. I wondered if my answer should have had more warmth. This video evaporated my worries so I'm grateful. He has not done any healing and my response was just appropriate 😊
This was fantastically helpful, thank you Thais!
I followed the script and just as predicted, after 2 1/2 months I got a short handwritten note in the mail: “Hey, I’ve been trying to give you space but I’m wondering how you’re doing.”.
I cried and agonized over that note for longer than I care to admit, but ultimately didn’t respond. That was 9 months ago and I _still_ sometimes wonder if I “missed my chance”.
Now I see that I didn’t, and I can’t begin to express how huge that is for my healing. Thank you for talking about this critical fork in the road with clarity ❤
Thank you for validating our feelings Thais girl you are doing so much good for this world!
....Is there a camera in my house that you're watching me through? Because you posted this *exactly* when I needed it, I swear! Thank you so much!!! 😭🖤
It's been 4 months, and i still can't get over her. I know I shouldn't have but yesterday I called her dad. 3 days ago was her sons birthday and there's always a family gathering. I felt that extra pang of pain that day, not just missing her but the whole family. He reiterated he doesn't tell her I have spoken to him, that he truly can't understand why she did this but worst of all she seemed so happy on the day. It's not that I don't want her to be happy, just didn't want that to be because I'm gone.
She's likely not happy because you're gone. It's that initial feeling of relief that avoidants get after a breakup and a long build up of too many feelings and/or stress. ❤
@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life Thank you for your thoughts. I knew she struggled with the decision, telling me she doesn't know if this is the right thing. I saw her 10 days after the breakup, and she was happy and chatting with her cousin on the phone, laughing. She kept contacting me every week or so. After a month, I said I need you to stop, I need time to heal. So, you're breaking up with me now? What?
None of her family understands why. Her dad said she's just finished with the move and her studies for the semester, so maybe she'll have time now to ruminate. He suggested I don't move on just yet, give it a couple more months. The problem is never knowing. I understand about the avoidant thing, but she was 5 years single before me, and when I asked her if she planned finding someone else she said if I can't handle a relationship with you I can't handle it with anyone. Her dad says she hasn't moved on. I'm in limbo. She never even said goodbye to my son, and that really hurt him. I know it's all classic avoidant, now she's likely thinking about things, maybe even missing me. Who knows. I want closure. I want to know if she's moved on so I can do the same.
@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life yeah but we're talking about the day of her son's birthday. She was happy, according to her dad. It might be that she was happy having the family around to bring a sense of normality, but it's been 4 months. Like I never existed. So cold.
@@lythsian oh I read that too fast. Sorry.
Thank you so much! Once again validating and encouraging content.
Thank you for watching! So glad it's resonating with you!
Your calm and generous spirit, along with your teaching style, has helped me greatly. Thank you.
Avoidant partners whom seem secretive and often Fein "openness and transparency" cause that's something I'm left with question marks above my head
Need to have immense self WORTH.
Great information as usual, I wish I was into these topics 5 years ago.
I wouldn't give them a chance if I don't feel ready even of they were saying the right things. I deserve space for healing first.
Damn.....it's been a year.
Same here 1,5 …
💔
I pray you've moved on. It's crazy to wait that long.
No contact? Good bye! There’s only one person that can help them, and that’s themselves. I’ve done my time, it’s over with!Too many years of investing my emotions, and nothing accomplished! (being an Empath) I’m out, and done!
My avoidant wanted a break, due to loss in interest, and too much availability and over loving. Came out of no where, days prior she was making plans and all the typical stuff. Today is Day 48 no contact. Day 20 she was looking in our Snapchat and saved a photo (my location is off), 1 week after that she hasn’t been on Snapchat since day 27. This week her sister and her self have liked 2 of my instagram posts as of the last 7 days. But no contact yet 🙄
Once again …. talking about healing OURSELVES and OUR core wounds and selling the courses. Some of us are secure attachment! Also I would bet that most avoidants do not return and say, Guess what I’ve been working on myself and healing and wanna try again. Too vulnerable!
It seriously feels like I’m never going to get her back. It seems like an easy non emotional way to break up. It hurts so bad.
Can you make a no contact course??
How do you handle no contact when you still live with the avoidant?
What if your significant other is going through a midlife crisis depression how would that affect going? No contact or smart contact in my case because we have kids after 22 years of marriage and three kids I don’t know who she is. Her mother died of breast cancer, and we had several other traumas And she just picked up and left in the middle of the night. She eventually ended up in the emergency room and is getting psychological help her mother suffered from depression and was a hoarder. Any advice on that would be greatly appreciated after 22 years I’d give anything to reconcile and make things better. I just don’t know how to do that.
I have a question ....my ex is a fearful avoidant she broke up with me a year a go.....I walked away from the first day into no contact without begging her or ask why did she broke up with me .....I unfollowed her from all my social media but at the same time she was aggresively posting storys talking about me by the songs.....she's my cousin that's why I know what's she posted this entire time.... but right now she still badly try to make me jealous on social media what should I do ?
OK maybe I misunderstanding: the idea is for no contact to be temporary? I’m trying to do permanent no contact because I’m done… I just don’t have it in me anymore.
You can absolutely do a permanent no contact. I have. Block on everything and pretend they don't exist. Out of sight, out of mind. Some do no contact as a manipulation strategy to get their ex back and others use it to heal and be better for themselves and if their last relationship circles back around, they'll be more healed and show up with boundaries and also better communication strategies.
It’s understandable to feel like you’re ready for permanent no contact, especially if you feel emotionally drained. No contact is a personal decision, and whether it’s temporary or permanent, it’s about protecting your peace and doing what’s best for you. Trust your instincts-you know what you need. 💛
Can you talk about if there is a way to correct the situation.. I.e. reached out to show support not understanding this no contact stuff, had a great connection, spoke openly about many things and never seen any red flag! Just stonewalled, then when out because you have same friend circle, you run into that person. They act like they are angry toward you and stay completely distant when there was zero argument, no issue that led to this yet act as if they cannot stand you. What does this mean? @thais
No more FA videos? 😔
No, no, no, No contact is about punishment. Lol!! I’m not sure who is punished more. Me or them. But it’s definitely about punishment.
@thais can you give some insight on what it means when one you were dating, great connection, conversation aligned to action and always showed up then just stonewalls when there was no conflict, no issue that occurred to be enemies or what have you.. you see them out because same friend circle, they treat you like complete crap. Seemingly mad at you, stay completely away from your area even tho everyone else is hanging around. Truthfully the hardest thing when you once were so happy to be in the same space and now it’s as if they cannot stand you, why is this?
I go no contact, and then watch the destruction.
Ha. Ha. Ha. My DA ex, 4 months into no contact, deleted our shared list on instagram and I was notified. That timeline seems waaaaaaay too short.
What's a shared list?
@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life when you save a post you can choose where to save it on the app (you can make different lists), we had a list that both of us could add to and see. When we were together, we filled it with deep and sentimental videos/memes etc