I absolutely idolise this man! I tried to commit suicide several times after being raped and loosing my soulmate to suicide 8 years ago. People like Stephen got me through. Bless him!!!xxx
Godspeed, you. I'm sorry to hear of your awful experiences but you are strong. You might struggle but the fact that you posted this comment is a sign of your strength. I hope you have people you can reach out to. I'm more than happy to be one of them.
I was at a military training college for 3 years, ( 1968 ) the average suicide rate was 1 per entry per year. That by military standards was 'normal', the bullying was vicious. Some of the more unpleasant types would take bets on who would be next, may they rot in hell. Bullying does not make ' men ' out of boys, it makes corpses . The boys were aged between 15 and 19.
+Danze Gamer (Danzegamer) yes! my doctor recently told me that I just needed to pull my self together... And he said it as if I was just a dumb girl, "to dumb to think of the obvious solution"
there's never going to be understanding with some people whom i will hesitate to call "normal" that they can comprehend at all what depression really is. i used to scream that i can't turn my frustrations off like a light switch, just like your depression, it's a "trigger" switch. . . and turning it off on a moments notice is preposterous in the extreme to even suggest its possible, even though this is quite possible with "normal" people. . they actually CAN turn off strong emotional issues, and cannot understand someone who is incapable of doing so . the only thing i can recommend to others is counting to 10 actually does work, taking a few deep breaths and re-evaluation of the situation will do you far better as advice then "snap out of it!" will ever do. with depression the other best cure for your problem is activity, sweep a floor do dishes , take a shower, anything to change the depression feeling even for half an hour, will carry you through another day...it's not a cure, it's more like medication by denial and activity, it doesn't remove depression as such, but it DOES give you a feeling you've accomplished something, even if its only making your bed, and that task being finished will lift you above the worst depression episodes. . . and don't be afraid to get help and meds for it, many have side effects , but once you find what works, you will probably manage your problems easier. it's not anything shameful to seek help before depression turns to suicide , what have you to lose at that point?
Stephen Fry is the reason I try to be o0pen with people about my bipolar, dysthymia, and mental issues. His willingness to live that "out loud" is the greatest way to erase some of the stigma. Bravo to him.
Immensely wise and articulate! A lovely gentleman who one can experience the flight of his mania at large in this evening’s conversation. Thoughts flying like faeries around the room, mostly euphoric, bordering on the disphoric. That said, still more intelligent and interesting than most people I know. Hurrah to Fry!!
I have a quiet mental struggle with to be honest I don’t know what each day and can never figure out why or what the problem is, listening to Stephan helps me to see it’s not something to be embarrassed about. Wish him all the health in this world, superb human being
It'd be good also if more people consider that self harm is not limited to cutting, self harm can be as simple as being purposefully careless when crossing the street, or otherwise putting yourself in dangerous situations. It can also be purposefully causing yourself other types of pain, such as punching things until your hands bleed or giving yourself friction burns.
fuck off does it matter, political corectness, will not be allowed to eat out every topic. self harm is when you hurt yourself. that simple, no list needed. its mainly cutting of burning. friction burns are not life threatening. 'friction burn awareness week'??
I've had far worse friction burns than anything with knives. What you're saying is the type of thing to get people to hurt themselves more, because it's not real if they're not hurting themselves to the point it's life threatening. Right? Why do you want people to hurt themselves more?
Stigma. Oh yes. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, amongst other issues like depression and anxiety, and know all about stigma. A lot of criminals are diagnosed with BPD. He's so correct in saying that he is in an occupation where he can be completely outspoken about all aspects of his personal life without fear of losing something like his job. If anything he may be more in demand as a speaker because of his Bipolar Disorder. The rest of us ordinary souls have to keep pretty quiet about our mental "dis-eases".
My father was bipolar back in the days before medication. There were times when he couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time. On the other end of the spectrum, he would wake up and decide to go to Texas for breakfast. To lesser degree, we have all had our emotional ups and downs. For many of us happiness and contentment is very elusive. It is not easy to be a human being, so we must learn to be kind to ourselves and then to others. If you find yourself being judgmental, just stop and get off the bench.
I have been suffering with depression since I can remember. I always remember the lows, the more I think about my past and the decisions I have made, the more I understand I could have been self harming (destructing). The highs that I have experienced also make me think about how self harming can come from different mood states and not just be about what you can do to yourself now.
I'm with you Alan. I'm 30 and only recently found myself a psychologist. She's done me more good in two months than GP's and psychiatrists have ever done for me. Oh...and she comes with zero percent chance of debilitating side-effects.
I love that line "It's like the weather". it's got me through some tough times. I was standing on a bridge ready to jump and kill myself once, tears streaming down my eye's but I had 'prepared' for it, as I had just been diagnosed and released from hospital and knew what to expect. I had written a little poem to enforce to my future self why I shouldn't die. It worked. Stopped me jumping. I think diagnosis is essential but it is such a shame that the medicine saps creativity and imagination.
Glad you found poetry a help. I have used writing as a joy. The act of writing makes my reasonable side govern more. I'm so glad to read that you did ok that time.
Isn't it actually wonderfully ironic that Stephen is talking about treating mental sickness just like physical sickness, and the commenters are all annoyed at the guy in the room with a physical illness.
I've been a mentalist myself, I've worked with MIND and many others, I was in care at the age of 16 and a friend of mine who was also resident in the children's-home started to self harm, years later he told me how it felt, painful emotions which cannot be expressed via talking therapies manifest themselves into these afflictions of ones physical self, a distraction from mental anguish, we want to explain how we feel but cannot so we wear the mask, anger is a mask for fear, dreams are just unresolved emotions, there is help out there, find it, talk to someone.
The most detrimental effects of my mental health difficulties, by far, are a direct result of speaking up and seeking help. I lost my job, my friends, my credibility, and, most devastatingly, the hope that someone could and would help me.
Stephen, you are an incredibly courageous individual and I laud you for it. Suffice it to say, “I’ve been there, done that, got the T shirt”. Keep up the good work!
It’s amazing what a few words can do to and for another; they can give us life or they can give is death joy or doom. We sensitives are so impressionable.
With all due respect to Stephen Fry, whom I truly appreciate and respect, as someone with BPD myself, I would rather he not do a documentary on BPD. While he has a real knack for remaining objective, he is still incredibly verbose and even the most well intentioned people, unafflicted by BPD, have the unfortunate tendency to reinforce bad information about the disorder. As maligned as we are in the realm of mental illness, I don’t care to have yet another well-intentioned and respected voice of authority (by way of academic and intellectual prowess) speaking out about something that is so misunderstood as BPD. In all honesty, I even struggle to listen to Marsha Linehan speaking on BPD, despite the fact that she was diagnosed with it and developed DBT, as even she focuses on the most extreme and stereotypical aspects of the disorder.
I think he did the manic-depression docu because he actually has it. (It was a great show by him, superb for reorienting public sentiment) - So the rest of us crazy fuckers don't get an episode (apparently) :/ Hey but at least PD ppl can now get treatment! (in UK) My closest friend had PD and he couldn't get ANY help at all for years! This thankfully has now changed some.
@@PomegranateStaindGrn I had bever given your point of view a second thought. I have a sib with the disorder, and although I know there is sufferimg for them, it's the undeserved harm inflicted on me that occupies my thoughts. There is little to do to help a BPD, so how helpful to them is more insight? Not much, I think. More understanding does help the persons being victimized by them, though. It's a good question.
@@sherrillsturm7240 really sorry that someones personal suffering is stressing you.. maybe think about that before bitching. you're not living with it.
We are trying to heal "the public perception of the illness... The illness the public has, what you might call stigma" by highlighting the realities of mental health through documenting individual cases, and trying to explain these illnesses through creative expression in more engaging ways for the general public who may not necessarily see mental health as an important issue. Everyone says yeah, yeah, we know mental health is important but do people really make a study of mental health and seek to understand mental illnesses and psychological development. In Australia, we do not see anywhere near enough awareness. Very little funding is provided for mental health organisations and treatment.
Thank you Stephen Fry. I love your works. However, I suffer from an ethanol addiction, so I hope that your great and profound insight into depression can help future generations, and negate their use of drugs of any sought .
I agree with Stephen that it's ridiculous to be sceptical about mental health just because we cannot imagine certain people in objectively decent conditions to be afflicted by it. However, I kind of disagree with this idea that "sometimes there are no reasons". Yes, the commonly assumed reasons (outright abuse, trauma, poverty etc) may not apply in many cases, but that doesn't mean that it cannot be other reasons. And yes, there is certainly a genetic, reason-less sensitivity for certain conditions that makes some individuals more prone to be afflicted than others, but that doesn't mean that disorders should be treated like the kind of physical deseases that really do seem to occur rather randomly without any proper cause. My point is, that in opposition to the simplistic thinking about reasons for disorders there can also be an opposite extreme which says "ah well, it's all just unfortunate chemical imbalances" which can lead to a lack of self-exploration and may cause some people to only seek out drug-based therapy, when a combination would be more helpful.
I'm no expert but I think sometimes there is no reason. Its a chemical imbalance within the human body. I believe the misconception stems from the fact that most humans (despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary) maintain peace/happiness comes from attaining something, be it money, status or a personal ambition, therefore the lack of it must also be due to a lack of attaining or having something; be it physical or emotional.
I had this. But my struggling with it was the problem, when I accepted it the battle was over. It is an all consuming bully , when I stopped fighting it and replaced the fear with faith then the struggle and exhaustion stopped.. now I can't lose a battle I'm not in. I'm saying this because it may help one person, then it's been worth it..
Would love to see the "SH"-documentary. I did selfharm in the past, because my depression caused me to feel nothing but emptiness. I wanted to feel at least something. How ironical it is that I now have chronic pain...
If one is a great fan of Stephen but one stayed up far tooo late the night before and still persist on joining Stephens talk the consequences must be endured :)
The guy commented on another clip that he was sick (Gastric Flu he called it) but really didn't want to miss the talk so he stepped away from the toilet bowl and came anyway.
What an incredibly talented man. I'd just like to see him do more comedy! On the topic of SELF HARM I'm guessing for those of us who were beaten or physically tortured--self harm is a way to bring about self soothing--because there is some kind of chemical reaction to being injured that calms us. I am not sharing this in a very technical way but you can look it up and there is a totally logically reason for it. I used to do it and I still have issues with over eating. We as human beings must begin to understand the dangers of beating and emotionally abusing children and the long term effects this has on the overall health and wellbeing of the person in their lifetime. ((Stephen Fry is my hero)))
People don't understand that it's like being trapped in your mind like a prison. I've not had drug or alcohol issues but addicted to thinking about the past still.
Without wanting to impose my views on anyone may I just say that I am inspired by the level of healthy discussion in this forum and just like ourselves, Stephen feels inadequate(if I may be so bold) so when you are done here why not flick him an email letting him know that his words are still reaching people all these years later... No... I am not Stephen and I know him only from his musings
Bipolar is indeed a genuine illness, but my view of most depressed people and particularly young people is connected with society. I believe a reasonable percentage of our society is simple miserable, but many people will try to hide it. I genuinely believe modern society is to blame and we shouldn’t keep blaming genetics.
chris mcaulay I didn't post the initial comment, but here are some of my thoughts on why modern society could be leaving us feeling miserable. The unnatural levels of stress are a big one... We stress over money, bills, replying to emails, getting places on time, what people think of us etc. Some of us are in an almost constant state of stress and this wreaks havoc on us physically and mentally. On the opposite of that point, most of us spend little time on stress relieving activities like meditation, yoga, or just having a nice relaxing bath or sitting in the garden and reading for a while... Which leads me to the next point. Time. Many of us would like to partake in such relaxing activities, if only we had the time to do so. But some of us need to work grueling hours every day in a job we hate just to scrape up enough money to pay rent and eat. This can often leave us with no time or energy to do the things that are actually important to our wellbeing, like spending time with our kids and family or doing something creative like painting, playing music or reading a book. This lack of time and energy also means we often have to resort to another folly of modern society: fast food. The standard diet in our modern society is absolutely terrible. We often wake up and fill our bodies with caffeine, grab a burger or a ready made sandwich for lunch and come home and eat a microwave dinner. We are severely lacking in nutrients! And not only is much of the food we eat lacking in nutrients, it is also laced in chemicals and dripping in added sugar. Proper nutrition is vital for having a healthy mind and body. As is daily exercise, another vital component of mental health, and another thing many of us don't get anywhere near enough of. And even if we do manage to get out for a run, we are forced to breathe in lungfuls of horrible chemicals and toxins from car and factory fumes every second. How the hell does anyone cope with all this I hear you ask? Ah, well we drink copious amounts of alcohol, do drugs, smoke cigarettes, binge on mind-numbing entertainment and have one night stands of course! And you know what the worst thing about it all is? This is exactly the way things need to be for a consumerist society such as ours to be sustained. Why do you think it is that alcohol, cigarettes and the latest products are marketed and forced in our faces every day instead of healthy diet, exercise, meditation and a philosophy more in line with nature and conducive to our wellbeing? Well for one thing, the latter aren't profitable... You can't sell meditation and a healthy diet and you can't have a society of work slaves if everyone is awake to the flaws in such a system. Anyway, I'm off to smoke a cigarette and wash down an anti-depressant pill with a red bull. Laters.
Thanks Stephen... This has me forgive and understand the fact I see myself as thoroughly flawed and part of the stress is how I think it 'should be' a constant nag in my head that I should be at peace with myself etc etc but maybe I should relieve myself of that pressure and let go as it's just extra topping and stress anyway of why I am not the so called perfect being I am not and never will be
Fry mentions self judgement as a factor. But where does the judgement come from in the first place - from others. My guess is that there are critical judgements related to the development of useful skills but there is also judgement relating to modulation of the social order.
Take someone you’d assume to have a perfect, nice life, with a family, good job and a cozy home… and dissect their life. What you will most probably find are some very bad things you’d never imagine that person went through.
Read Stephen's quote about the "Monstrosity of being alive". It didn't automatically cure the depression I've been suffering with since spring break 1977. It did describe exactly what caused my depression.
I said to my psychatrist: "I love mania" my very African psychatrist said "Yezz, yo may but no one else likes yo wen your manic" I laughed out loud, yep, I get it. The sadest thing about bi-polar is society says its ok to have a mental illness, but friendship do not tolerate the symptoms. Im 56, manage my illness well but i have lost valuable friendships when my symptoms present. Its sad yet a fact. Be very careful changing meds, makesure you have someone close to monitor change, dangerous time. Thanks for talking about mental illness, it does help with the stigma. Xx
“Van Gogh’s ear for music”, real cute. It is always brave of someone in Stephen Fry’s position to be as open as he is here about his struggle with depression. It comes as a consolation that he would never try on purpose to injure or mutilate himself.
I know the recording is quite old, but the message is still very valid. I would love to see research or at least observation into self harm. Unfortunately I've been in the mindset to self-harm and my reasons for my actions doesn't seem to be well documented. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is fine, but I tried to find reasons for my behavior online, and all I found was guilt-trips and religious garbage. I made it through, but I believe therw are 1000s of people who can benefit so much from such a documentary.
Important to read Anatomy of an Epidemic which is about the pharmaceutical approach to mental illness. Never mind the side effects, what is the efficacy?
Thanks for I've got this video in my interest. I have a long time research about my human nature. The substantive reason of self-harming is our nature. We have to admit that we are able to cause self-harm by instinctively. If I will prove to you as I proved to myself what is the origin of my problems with myself (so you have too) than it will be crystal clear what can we do to solve this "problem". If you already made your own investigation to find the root cause than it will be easier for you to understand. There are everyone a self-image and self-made (or accepted) expectation of their own life. This is the base what determines which approach will lead you to the point of confrontation the truth about yourself. Unfortunately there are people who unable to face with any kind of necessary truth about themselves. They are walking dead people (real zombies). They can not stay alive without strong support. The mental health system is doing something but the result is just not good enough. I wish to focus the people, who want to do the right actions for their mental development, or dedicated to help to someone who dear to them. I suffered to be useless only watching the self-harming loved ones, relatives, friend and colleagues. Therefore I do not created a "method" to help them, because they are not even a state of to be able to fallow any instruction. We need to start with the people who able to and committed to do the right thing for a healthy mental state for themselves and so for as many people as possible. You can find me on the Facebook and we can start the process. I am not asking, and do not accepting any donations or payments for what you can get by my assistant. A human life should have a strong foundation what only can make by yourself. This is what I can help you to make. I wish you all the best! :)
There’s a little person who’s thinking of is preventing me from suicide. It’s been like that for 2 years. I can’t stand the thought of biasing her life too negatively by killing myself. Others wouldn’t lose too much they think I’m te same person I was 10 years ago but I’m not and I can’t give them what I use to. Period. If I talked honestly to people I’d only speak negativity, decadence and crave for all to end and if anything, the bad to be punished. On the other hand when all contradictions wrestle within me for too log I feel there’s less and less true stuff worth me keep dragging my pain around while acting like I’m a regular semi-happy person. Perhaps this little person has much potential now to overcome my death and get over the pain of loss than she will in 5 years. May be I should do it now. It’s been long since we meet due to the covid regulations, juat family meeting this year... she must be forgetting about me at least a bit. I’m also ashamed ‘cause I fear to execute my destiny now that it could be made a bit cleaner than in other occasions...
Welcome to lastofthespoken- let the music do the talking (lovemusiclovelife) A unique place for Music and Mental Health to work together and create a new way of breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health through music : have a listen, learn and relate to original music written and inspired by my own mental health experiences. The occasional education video expressing some of my own journey living with a mental health diagnosis and also suicide awareness videos etc on what to do/where to access etc! If u find the page helpful then please do share and like or unlike to tell me how I can improve and what themes/topics u would like me to explore? :-)
Mental health illnesses are awful. But there's still a stigma attached to it. People are still allowed to mock you if you have mental health issues. This has to stop and become unacceptable, just like racism and sexism. But at least celebrities are talking about it and politicians so hopefully things will change.
Times are hard at the moment but humanity has gotten through worse. Plus, we're all going to die anyway so why not go the distance? Hope you find happiness and prosperity either way
Lewis McDonald - Please, don't give up. There are always solutions (you might not be able to see them at this moment, but they exist). Continue to seek, and eventually you will find the help that you need. I suggest you join some spiritual group for support. The Tibetan Buddhists are experts when it comes to issues of the mind (and at the same time they are very kind, caring and compassionate). They will teach you mental techniques that will probably help you. I wish you the very best!
That's the worst part, isn't it? I'm there. I've done the drugs (over a dozen and none worked), the therapy, the DBT, the holistic, spiritual, and any other "fix" that I could grasp on to. They say mental illness doesn't define you. They are wrong. I need to let it define me because I will not hide it anymore. It's OK to not know what to do anymore. I will live the rest of my days looking for the answer, and I hope you keep looking too. We can learn to live with it. It may be part of who we are, but it is NOT all of who we are. I'm done rambling now.
Jeff Altier, as I told Lewis McDonald, please learn from the Tibetan Buddhists who are experts when it comes to issues of the mind (and at the same time they are very kind, caring and compassionate). They will teach you mental techniques that will probably help you. I am not talking about spirituality, I am talking about many different methods and techniques that will help you cope and probably improve. Their teachings are practical, very useful. I sincerely wish you the very best.
When a neoliberal economy prosper the suicide rate always go úp. Because the psychological problems of a human being is interpreted as a weakness in such an economic form of capitalism as ours. It is seen as an interference in our world of trade and profit gain. According to my views suicide ought to be seen as a more or less direct consequence of this inhumane Growth paradigm we so treassure. The more prosperous the ecomony gets the móre psychologically empoveriched our society becómes.
I love Stephen Fry - a literary and intellectual giant - but to me he doesn't look well on this video. His normally ordered and amazingly concise yet full dialogue is slow and laboured. Certainly a sign of his bipolar disorder impacting his thinking on that day.
Didn't he say rape victims should just 'grow up'? I always loved him from afar and can't imagine he'd be so obtuse. So perhaps he meant a something far deeper than this? Anymore?
He was talking about getting rid of self pitty, It's awful that things like abuse happen, but to become "triggrred" and shutting things like plays down because it might upset someone is dangerous, that'd what he was getting at I believe
And what are we going to do about that...New Zealand have children, teenagers high numbers of suicide. My home town double the numbers compared than the rest of the country following earthquakes and Mosque shootings. I have same illness as Mr Fry. Not much of a choice I say "sane and fat"or "thin and mad". Did Chopin attempt self harm with willow branch...been around for a while self harm.
Upsetting that we're all here to watch a talk on the affliction of depression and yet you're chastising someone in the audience afflicted with a physical illness. Your annoyance with their cough reminds me of my ex-coworker who used to publicly shame me for being so 'moody' all the time.
"I do go on don't I". Yes you do Stephen, but I could listen all day.
Wonderful man, person and so articulate ……clever, honest and thoughtful
I absolutely idolise this man! I tried to commit suicide several times after being raped and loosing my soulmate to suicide 8 years ago. People like Stephen got me through. Bless him!!!xxx
Godspeed, you. I'm sorry to hear of your awful experiences but you are strong. You might struggle but the fact that you posted this comment is a sign of your strength. I hope you have people you can reach out to. I'm more than happy to be one of them.
@@taddybear4244 amen.
I really respect Stephen Fry for being so open about his problems. He has given many people hope and will to live. A great man.
I love Stephen Fry more each time I see him. We should all be very grateful to have him 'on our side'. Bless you, Stephen.
I was at a military training college for 3 years, ( 1968 ) the average suicide rate was 1 per entry per year.
That by military standards was 'normal', the bullying was vicious.
Some of the more unpleasant types would take bets on who would be next, may they rot in hell.
Bullying does not make ' men ' out of boys, it makes corpses .
The boys were aged between 15 and 19.
I'm depressed and i hate people who say "just snap out of it" like i would do that but i fucking cant!
+Danze Gamer (Danzegamer) yes! my doctor recently told me that I just needed to pull my self together... And he said it as if I was just a dumb girl, "to dumb to think of the obvious solution"
+Stormree so your a pair of curtains.....old joke i couldn't resist
@@KatrineReebergStorm if he didn’t told you the solution, he’s lacking in his skills
Daily exercise, proper diet, reduce stressors, cognitive therapy works wonders.
there's never going to be understanding with some people whom i will hesitate to call "normal" that they can comprehend at all what depression really is. i used to scream that i can't turn my frustrations off like a light switch, just like your depression, it's a "trigger" switch. . . and turning it off on a moments notice is preposterous in the extreme to even suggest its possible, even though this is quite possible with "normal" people. . they actually CAN turn off strong emotional issues, and cannot understand someone who is incapable of doing so . the only thing i can recommend to others is counting to 10 actually does work, taking a few deep breaths and re-evaluation of the situation will do you far better as advice then "snap out of it!" will ever do. with depression the other best cure for your problem is activity, sweep a floor do dishes , take a shower, anything to change the depression feeling even for half an hour, will carry you through another day...it's not a cure, it's more like medication by denial and activity, it doesn't remove depression as such, but it DOES give you a feeling you've accomplished something, even if its only making your bed, and that task being finished will lift you above the worst depression episodes. . . and don't be afraid to get help and meds for it, many have side effects , but once you find what works, you will probably manage your problems easier. it's not anything shameful to seek help before depression turns to suicide , what have you to lose at that point?
Fantastic interview. Fry's honesty amazes me, especially when you take into account his line of work which is full of deceit, bullshit and lies.
Stephen Fry is the reason I try to be o0pen with people about my bipolar, dysthymia, and mental issues. His willingness to live that "out loud" is the greatest way to erase some of the stigma. Bravo to him.
Immensely wise and articulate! A lovely gentleman who one can experience the flight of his mania at large in this evening’s conversation. Thoughts flying like faeries around the room, mostly euphoric, bordering on the disphoric. That said, still more intelligent and interesting than most people I know. Hurrah to Fry!!
I have a quiet mental struggle with to be honest I don’t know what each day and can never figure out why or what the problem is, listening to Stephan helps me to see it’s not something to be embarrassed about. Wish him all the health in this world, superb human being
It'd be good also if more people consider that self harm is not limited to cutting, self harm can be as simple as being purposefully careless when crossing the street, or otherwise putting yourself in dangerous situations. It can also be purposefully causing yourself other types of pain, such as punching things until your hands bleed or giving yourself friction burns.
That's a very good point you raise. Jeopardizing your own career, social life, health, etc, seem to me to also be a form of self harming.
I seem to have destroyed or severely tested relationships with friends and family. Self harming can take many forms.
Alan Maxfield Absolutly!
fuck off does it matter, political corectness, will not be allowed to eat out every topic. self harm is when you hurt yourself. that simple, no list needed. its mainly cutting of burning. friction burns are not life threatening. 'friction burn awareness week'??
I've had far worse friction burns than anything with knives. What you're saying is the type of thing to get people to hurt themselves more, because it's not real if they're not hurting themselves to the point it's life threatening. Right? Why do you want people to hurt themselves more?
Stigma. Oh yes. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, amongst other issues like depression and anxiety, and know all about stigma. A lot of criminals are diagnosed with BPD. He's so correct in saying that he is in an occupation where he can be completely outspoken about all aspects of his personal life without fear of losing something like his job. If anything he may be more in demand as a speaker because of his Bipolar Disorder. The rest of us ordinary souls have to keep pretty quiet about our mental "dis-eases".
My father was bipolar back in the days before medication. There were times when he couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time. On the other end of the spectrum, he would wake up and decide to go to Texas for breakfast. To lesser degree, we have all had our emotional ups and downs. For many of us happiness and contentment is very elusive. It is not easy to be a human being, so we must learn to be kind to ourselves and then to others. If you find yourself being judgmental, just stop and get off the bench.
I have been suffering with depression since I can remember. I always remember the lows, the more I think about my past and the decisions I have made, the more I understand I could have been self harming (destructing). The highs that I have experienced also make me think about how self harming can come from different mood states and not just be about what you can do to yourself now.
I'm with you Alan. I'm 30 and only recently found myself a psychologist. She's done me more good in two months than GP's and psychiatrists have ever done for me. Oh...and she comes with zero percent chance of debilitating side-effects.
I love that line "It's like the weather". it's got me through some tough times. I was standing on a bridge ready to jump and kill myself once, tears streaming down my eye's but I had 'prepared' for it, as I had just been diagnosed and released from hospital and knew what to expect. I had written a little poem to enforce to my future self why I shouldn't die. It worked. Stopped me jumping. I think diagnosis is essential but it is such a shame that the medicine saps creativity and imagination.
Glad you found poetry a help. I have used writing as a joy. The act of writing makes my reasonable side govern more. I'm so glad to read that you did ok that time.
Hi Adam, I hope you're doing well.
That person that keeps coughing and doesn't step outside... CMON MAN
Honestly if i was there to listen to stephen fry i wouldnt step out of the room for anything xD
I always get annoyed by it. At least step out and then come back when you have had a cup of water...
Isn't it actually wonderfully ironic that Stephen is talking about treating mental sickness just like physical sickness, and the commenters are all annoyed at the guy in the room with a physical illness.
S/he had probably been looking forward to it for months, and knew they would not get another chance to see our Stepehen.
I've been a mentalist myself, I've worked with MIND and many others, I was in care at the age of 16 and a friend of mine who was also resident in the children's-home started to self harm, years later he told me how it felt, painful emotions which cannot be expressed via talking therapies manifest themselves into these afflictions of ones physical self, a distraction from mental anguish, we want to explain how we feel but cannot so we wear the mask, anger is a mask for fear, dreams are just unresolved emotions, there is help out there, find it, talk to someone.
I am so grateful for this man.
The most detrimental effects of my mental health difficulties, by far, are a direct result of speaking up and seeking help. I lost my job, my friends, my credibility, and, most devastatingly, the hope that someone could and would help me.
Stephen, you are an incredibly courageous individual and I laud you for it. Suffice it to say, “I’ve been there, done that, got the T shirt”. Keep up the good work!
"How dear achieved",' Wilfred Owen - superb reference.
It’s amazing what a few words can do to and for another; they can give us life or they can give is death joy or doom. We sensitives are so impressionable.
I'd like to see him do a documentary on Borderline Personality Disorder.
+Ichabod Crane Russell Brand's domain. Sadly...nil insight there.
With all due respect to Stephen Fry, whom I truly appreciate and respect, as someone with BPD myself, I would rather he not do a documentary on BPD. While he has a real knack for remaining objective, he is still incredibly verbose and even the most well intentioned people, unafflicted by BPD, have the unfortunate tendency to reinforce bad information about the disorder. As maligned as we are in the realm of mental illness, I don’t care to have yet another well-intentioned and respected voice of authority (by way of academic and intellectual prowess) speaking out about something that is so misunderstood as BPD. In all honesty, I even struggle to listen to Marsha Linehan speaking on BPD, despite the fact that she was diagnosed with it and developed DBT, as even she focuses on the most extreme and stereotypical aspects of the disorder.
I think he did the manic-depression docu because he actually has it.
(It was a great show by him, superb for reorienting public sentiment)
- So the rest of us crazy fuckers don't get an episode (apparently) :/
Hey but at least PD ppl can now get treatment! (in UK)
My closest friend had PD and he couldn't get ANY help at all for years! This thankfully has now changed some.
@@PomegranateStaindGrn I had bever given your point of view a second thought. I have a sib with the disorder, and although I know there is sufferimg for them, it's the undeserved harm inflicted on me that occupies my thoughts. There is little to do to help a BPD, so how helpful to them is more insight? Not much, I think. More understanding does help the persons being victimized by them, though. It's a good question.
@@sherrillsturm7240 really sorry that someones personal suffering is stressing you..
maybe think about that before bitching.
you're not living with it.
LOVE AND LIGHT TO MR. FRY!!!❤😊
We are trying to heal "the public perception of the illness... The illness the public has, what you might call stigma" by highlighting the realities of mental health through documenting individual cases, and trying to explain these illnesses through creative expression in more engaging ways for the general public who may not necessarily see mental health as an important issue. Everyone says yeah, yeah, we know mental health is important but do people really make a study of mental health and seek to understand mental illnesses and psychological development. In Australia, we do not see anywhere near enough awareness. Very little funding is provided for mental health organisations and treatment.
Ky Lives the invisible illness. Governments dont really care and there is hardly any funding
Such a travesty.
Thank you Stephen Fry. I love your works. However, I suffer from an ethanol addiction, so I hope that your great and profound insight into depression can help future generations, and negate their use of drugs of any sought .
I agree with Stephen that it's ridiculous to be sceptical about mental health just because we cannot imagine certain people in objectively decent conditions to be afflicted by it. However, I kind of disagree with this idea that "sometimes there are no reasons". Yes, the commonly assumed reasons (outright abuse, trauma, poverty etc) may not apply in many cases, but that doesn't mean that it cannot be other reasons. And yes, there is certainly a genetic, reason-less sensitivity for certain conditions that makes some individuals more prone to be afflicted than others, but that doesn't mean that disorders should be treated like the kind of physical deseases that really do seem to occur rather randomly without any proper cause.
My point is, that in opposition to the simplistic thinking about reasons for disorders there can also be an opposite extreme which says "ah well, it's all just unfortunate chemical imbalances" which can lead to a lack of self-exploration and may cause some people to only seek out drug-based therapy, when a combination would be more helpful.
I'm no expert but I think sometimes there is no reason. Its a chemical imbalance within the human body. I believe the misconception stems from the fact that most humans (despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary) maintain peace/happiness comes from attaining something, be it money, status or a personal ambition, therefore the lack of it must also be due to a lack of attaining or having something; be it physical or emotional.
I had this. But my struggling with it was the problem, when I accepted it the battle was over. It is an all consuming bully , when I stopped fighting it and replaced the fear with faith then the struggle and exhaustion stopped.. now I can't lose a battle I'm not in. I'm saying this because it may help one person, then it's been worth it..
Stephen fry is a gentleman
Would love to see the "SH"-documentary. I did selfharm in the past, because my depression caused me to feel nothing but emptiness. I wanted to feel at least something. How ironical it is that I now have chronic pain...
Why was that kid behind him with the folded arms and rolling eyes even there? I find him far more infuriating than the cougher.
If one is a great fan of Stephen but one stayed up far tooo late the night before and still persist on joining Stephens talk the consequences must be endured :)
The guy commented on another clip that he was sick (Gastric Flu he called it) but really didn't want to miss the talk so he stepped away from the toilet bowl and came anyway.
He could be in pain or needing to shit.
What an incredibly talented man. I'd just like to see him do more comedy! On the topic of SELF HARM I'm guessing for those of us who were beaten or physically tortured--self harm is a way to bring about self soothing--because there is some kind of chemical reaction to being injured that calms us. I am not sharing this in a very technical way but you can look it up and there is a totally logically reason for it. I used to do it and I still have issues with over eating. We as human beings must begin to understand the dangers of beating and emotionally abusing children and the long term effects this has on the overall health and wellbeing of the person in their lifetime. ((Stephen Fry is my hero)))
I hope things are looking up for you, it's a challenge for sure.
This guy is so cultured
I am not gay but I have always found more kindred spirits amongst their ranks , which is a truly lonely place to find oneself in .
I think we should all say one word about how we are feeling right now. I feel......Worried
People don't understand that it's like being trapped in your mind like a prison. I've not had drug or alcohol issues but addicted to thinking about the past still.
Without wanting to impose my views on anyone may I just say that I am inspired by the level of healthy discussion in this forum and just like ourselves, Stephen feels inadequate(if I may be so bold) so when you are done here why not flick him an email letting him know that his words are still reaching people all these years later... No... I am not Stephen and I know him only from his musings
Bipolar is indeed a genuine illness, but my view of most depressed people and particularly young people is connected with society.
I believe a reasonable percentage of our society is simple miserable, but many people will try to hide it.
I genuinely believe modern society is to blame and we shouldn’t keep blaming genetics.
33Crazydude Definitely think there is some truth to this.
33Crazydude all americans are happy. you just have to go to the right doctor :)
That's quite vague, what is it about modern society that's causing the problem?
chris mcaulay I didn't post the initial comment, but here are some of my thoughts on why modern society could be leaving us feeling miserable.
The unnatural levels of stress are a big one... We stress over money, bills, replying to emails, getting places on time, what people think of us etc. Some of us are in an almost constant state of stress and this wreaks havoc on us physically and mentally. On the opposite of that point, most of us spend little time on stress relieving activities like meditation, yoga, or just having a nice relaxing bath or sitting in the garden and reading for a while...
Which leads me to the next point. Time. Many of us would like to partake in such relaxing activities, if only we had the time to do so. But some of us need to work grueling hours every day in a job we hate just to scrape up enough money to pay rent and eat. This can often leave us with no time or energy to do the things that are actually important to our wellbeing, like spending time with our kids and family or doing something creative like painting, playing music or reading a book. This lack of time and energy also means we often have to resort to another folly of modern society: fast food.
The standard diet in our modern society is absolutely terrible. We often wake up and fill our bodies with caffeine, grab a burger or a ready made sandwich for lunch and come home and eat a microwave dinner. We are severely lacking in nutrients! And not only is much of the food we eat lacking in nutrients, it is also laced in chemicals and dripping in added sugar. Proper nutrition is vital for having a healthy mind and body. As is daily exercise, another vital component of mental health, and another thing many of us don't get anywhere near enough of. And even if we do manage to get out for a run, we are forced to breathe in lungfuls of horrible chemicals and toxins from car and factory fumes every second.
How the hell does anyone cope with all this I hear you ask? Ah, well we drink copious amounts of alcohol, do drugs, smoke cigarettes, binge on mind-numbing entertainment and have one night stands of course! And you know what the worst thing about it all is? This is exactly the way things need to be for a consumerist society such as ours to be sustained. Why do you think it is that alcohol, cigarettes and the latest products are marketed and forced in our faces every day instead of healthy diet, exercise, meditation and a philosophy more in line with nature and conducive to our wellbeing? Well for one thing, the latter aren't profitable... You can't sell meditation and a healthy diet and you can't have a society of work slaves if everyone is awake to the flaws in such a system.
Anyway, I'm off to smoke a cigarette and wash down an anti-depressant pill with a red bull. Laters.
You couldn't have put it any better! :-)
There's always someone coughing at the Oxford Union things
Those pale nerds could use some fresh air and a bit of exercise
Thanks Stephen... This has me forgive and understand the fact I see myself as thoroughly flawed and part of the stress is how I think it 'should be' a constant nag in my head that I should be at peace with myself etc etc but maybe I should relieve myself of that pressure and let go as it's just extra topping and stress anyway of why I am not the so called perfect being I am not and never will be
Fry mentions self judgement as a factor. But where does the judgement come from in the first place - from others. My guess is that there are critical judgements related to the development of useful skills but there is also judgement relating to modulation of the social order.
Stephen talking about Van Gough while everyone forced to listen to Van Cough in the back -_-
Take someone you’d assume to have a perfect, nice life, with a family, good job and a cozy home… and dissect their life.
What you will most probably find are some very bad things you’d never imagine that person went through.
i tried to die too. mental illness is real
I hope you are ok now
I so love him I self hem and it's so private thank you Stephen
Read Stephen's quote about the "Monstrosity of being alive". It didn't automatically cure the depression I've been suffering with since spring break 1977. It did describe exactly what caused my depression.
I hope that you can be the winner in this battle!
@@hosseinfaridnasr2778 Thank you my friend!
Much love Stephen Fry!
6:20 love that change of frame
Another Great Englishman
What a dear, dear man 💗
There are so many tortured souls these days. Mental health conditions have been on the rise ever since we knew that mental heath problems existed.
I agree
Thank you stephen
I said to my psychatrist:
"I love mania" my very African psychatrist said
"Yezz, yo may but no one else likes yo wen your manic"
I laughed out loud, yep, I get it. The sadest thing about bi-polar is society says its ok to have a mental illness, but friendship do not tolerate the symptoms. Im 56, manage my illness well but i have lost valuable friendships when my symptoms present. Its sad yet a fact.
Be very careful changing meds, makesure you have someone close to monitor change, dangerous time.
Thanks for talking about mental illness, it does help with the stigma. Xx
“Van Gogh’s ear for music”, real cute.
It is always brave of someone in Stephen Fry’s position to be as open as he is here about his struggle with depression. It comes as a consolation that he would never try on purpose to injure or mutilate himself.
I know the recording is quite old, but the message is still very valid. I would love to see research or at least observation into self harm. Unfortunately I've been in the mindset to self-harm and my reasons for my actions doesn't seem to be well documented. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is fine, but I tried to find reasons for my behavior online, and all I found was guilt-trips and religious garbage. I made it through, but I believe therw are 1000s of people who can benefit so much from such a documentary.
I love MR Fry.
If this man has/had mental issues than i wonder what on earth is normal state of mind?!?!
IS there one? lol
am I the only one here who thoroughly enjoyed Stephen Fry's subtle pronunciation of diabeetus?
I quite enjoyed him saying homosexual it ends up being homasexuual
I really would like to see a talk with Stephen Fry and Yuval Noah Harari ! Does anyone know if that has already happened?!
At 0:14 the guy with hair to his shoulders looks so happy to be there.
I just realised how random and stupid my comment is compared to others... ;P
I love Stephen.
Important to read Anatomy of an Epidemic which is about the pharmaceutical approach to mental illness. Never mind the side effects, what is the efficacy?
Worth hearing.
Thanks for I've got this video in my interest.
I have a long time research about my human nature.
The substantive reason of self-harming is our nature.
We have to admit that we are able to cause self-harm by instinctively.
If I will prove to you as I proved to myself what is the origin of my problems with myself (so you have too) than it will be crystal clear what can we do to solve this "problem".
If you already made your own investigation to find the root cause than it will be easier for you to understand.
There are everyone a self-image and self-made (or accepted) expectation of their own life.
This is the base what determines which approach will lead you to the point of confrontation the truth about yourself.
Unfortunately there are people who unable to face with any kind of necessary truth about themselves.
They are walking dead people (real zombies).
They can not stay alive without strong support.
The mental health system is doing something but the result is just not good enough.
I wish to focus the people, who want to do the right actions for their mental development, or dedicated to help to someone who dear to them.
I suffered to be useless only watching the self-harming loved ones, relatives, friend and colleagues.
Therefore I do not created a "method" to help them, because they are not even a state of to be able to fallow any instruction.
We need to start with the people who able to and committed to do the right thing for a healthy mental state for themselves and so for as many people as possible.
You can find me on the Facebook and we can start the process.
I am not asking, and do not accepting any donations or payments for what you can get by my assistant.
A human life should have a strong foundation what only can make by yourself.
This is what I can help you to make.
I wish you all the best! :)
There’s a little person who’s thinking of is preventing me from suicide.
It’s been like that for 2 years.
I can’t stand the thought of biasing her life too negatively by killing myself.
Others wouldn’t lose too much they think I’m te same person I was 10 years ago but I’m not and I can’t give them what I use to. Period. If I talked honestly to people I’d only speak negativity, decadence and crave for all to end and if anything, the bad to be punished.
On the other hand when all contradictions wrestle within me for too log I feel there’s less and less true stuff worth me keep dragging my pain around while acting like I’m a regular semi-happy person.
Perhaps this little person has much potential now to overcome my death and get over the pain of loss than she will in 5 years. May be I should do it now.
It’s been long since we meet due to the covid regulations, juat family meeting this year... she must be forgetting about me at least a bit.
I’m also ashamed ‘cause I fear to execute my destiny now that it could be made a bit cleaner than in other occasions...
Welcome to lastofthespoken- let the music do the talking (lovemusiclovelife) A unique place for Music and Mental Health to work together and create a new way of breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health through music : have a listen, learn and relate to original music written and inspired by my own mental health experiences.
The occasional education video expressing some of my own journey living with a mental health diagnosis and also suicide awareness videos etc on what to do/where to access etc!
If u find the page helpful then please do share and like or unlike to tell me how I can improve and what themes/topics u would like me to explore? :-)
I have lived past 35, im a modern day hard man !
Accept yourself.
Mental health illnesses are awful. But there's still a stigma attached to it. People are still allowed to mock you if you have mental health issues. This has to stop and become unacceptable, just like racism and sexism. But at least celebrities are talking about it and politicians so hopefully things will change.
The amount of coughing is actually rediculous..
The cougher in the background is really triggering my misophonia.
Such a lovely intelligent interest person mrs edwards here
If only there was a pill that changed fundamental perceptions instead of treating the consequences of perception.
I am not asking for anything-it just can’t stand the mood swings anymore. I have not self harmed for 20 years. One is completely overwhelmed and lost.
If you're not half mad, you're not half normal!
Hypo? Hyper? One of us is all wrong.
It's hypomania. The prefix " hypo" means below. It's an elevated mood state below full-blown mania.
girl >>>> open your discussion page please
I'd really like to know if he is aware how much he often drifts from the main topic while he is doing it.
Everything he says is interesting though
The guy in the green jumper at back tho
Holy shit why doesn’t the coughing person leave the room
Im 30 and i dont see me making it to 35
Take it one day at a time, i see you living a long happy life
Times are hard at the moment but humanity has gotten through worse. Plus, we're all going to die anyway so why not go the distance? Hope you find happiness and prosperity either way
King of the Luvvies :p
I have mr frys 2 books
I don't know what to do anymore
Lewis McDonald why?
Ashley Bissett I'm stuck, got no support really, my family don't understand mental illness, and my local GP is a nightmare
Lewis McDonald - Please, don't give up. There are always solutions (you might not be able to see them at this moment, but they exist). Continue to seek, and eventually you will find the help that you need. I suggest you join some spiritual group for support. The Tibetan Buddhists are experts when it comes to issues of the mind (and at the same time they are very kind, caring and compassionate). They will teach you mental techniques that will probably help you. I wish you the very best!
That's the worst part, isn't it? I'm there. I've done the drugs (over a dozen and none worked), the therapy, the DBT, the holistic, spiritual, and any other "fix" that I could grasp on to. They say mental illness doesn't define you. They are wrong. I need to let it define me because I will not hide it anymore. It's OK to not know what to do anymore. I will live the rest of my days looking for the answer, and I hope you keep looking too. We can learn to live with it. It may be part of who we are, but it is NOT all of who we are. I'm done rambling now.
Jeff Altier, as I told Lewis McDonald, please learn from the Tibetan Buddhists who are experts when it comes to issues of the mind (and at the same time they are very kind, caring and compassionate). They will teach you mental techniques that will probably help you. I am not talking about spirituality, I am talking about many different methods and techniques that will help you cope and probably improve. Their teachings are practical, very useful. I sincerely wish you the very best.
I know mental health very well Stephen. You people have screwed me with it for many decades. Grow up Stephen
When a neoliberal economy prosper the suicide rate always go úp.
Because the psychological problems of a human being is interpreted as a weakness in such an economic form of capitalism as ours. It is seen as an interference in our world of trade and profit gain.
According to my views suicide ought to be seen as a more or less direct consequence of this inhumane Growth paradigm we so treassure.
The more prosperous the ecomony gets the móre psychologically empoveriched our society becómes.
I'm bipolar life is now great with lithium
I love Stephen Fry - a literary and intellectual giant - but to me he doesn't look well on this video. His normally ordered and amazingly concise yet full dialogue is slow and laboured. Certainly a sign of his bipolar disorder impacting his thinking on that day.
Just as an aside....can anyone ask a question of another human being, celebrity or not, without a million "ums" and "likes" in it?? JEEZ
There is always someone to talk To & You don't need an appointment , His name 🙏 IS JESUS!!!!!!!! AMEN
Didn't he say rape victims should just 'grow up'?
I always loved him from afar and can't imagine he'd be so obtuse. So perhaps he meant a something far deeper than this?
Anymore?
search Stephen Fry on the Rubin report, watch the video and hear what he actually says on that
+Nick Jones looked it up. Unfortunately it wasn't much different from what I first thought
He was talking about getting rid of self pitty,
It's awful that things like abuse happen, but to become "triggrred" and shutting things like plays down because it might upset someone is dangerous, that'd what he was getting at I believe
+Nick Jones fair fair. I'll believe it as like I said I've know him to be an intelligent man and wouldn't like to think otherwise :)
Did two people in the comment section just agree on something??!!
Stephen Fry has a 2D nose.
His last name is FRY!!!
And what are we going to do about that...New Zealand have children, teenagers high numbers of suicide. My home town double the numbers compared than the rest of the country following earthquakes and Mosque shootings. I have same illness as Mr Fry. Not much of a choice I say "sane and fat"or "thin and mad". Did Chopin attempt self harm with willow branch...been around for a while self harm.
ummm
Makes sense to visit your psychiatrist before coming to America.
c
He so deserves too get better :)
He won’t. He will manage his mental illness as the rest of us try to do but he is no more worthy of getting better than anyone else who is suffering.
whoever is coughing throughout this talk is bloody annoying
fuck off
Graham Matheson it was you wasn't it
HarryM2000 it was that's why he's so defensive about his coughing issues.
Upsetting that we're all here to watch a talk on the affliction of depression and yet you're chastising someone in the audience afflicted with a physical illness. Your annoyance with their cough reminds me of my ex-coworker who used to publicly shame me for being so 'moody' all the time.
i have sucide in my head all the time.