I was also always the person being interrupted at work due to my role and where my seat was (next to the coffee and by the Directors and DVP 🙃). BUT even then, if I had headphones in or was on the phone, people would just turn around and leave unless it was a true emergency. We have a level of respect for an adult in clear deep flow! Why not for kids? 🤷♀️
You are such a bright light in the Montessori community. Thank you for working so hard to make such great content and (most importantly) being the greatest version of you for your children and family.
I have been working with children for years and practiced a lot of Montessori philosophies in my work, I am now pregnant and doing it alone as a single mama (not by choice but happily!) and I’m trying to meet like minded parents! This channel is awesome 💜 so many good recourses . Thank you!
Our daughter has complex care needs, learning disabilities and developmental delays in all areas from a rare genetic syndrome. Concentration is very hard for her, everything excites her and she has a lot of energy. A clinical psychologist reviewed her and she said start small and extend by 20-30 seconds each week. Its taken years but we can see some great progress. Montessori, observing her, changing our environment here to be calmer and more hygge have all helped her and us. Thank you for the great content, we still have more progress to make and this video was very helpful. The not interupting is very hard when play is her therapy also eg, modelling language, pecs cards for her speach therapy. She is pre verbal/ non verbal and finding the balance with this is still a work in progress for me. X
I try to always take a step back and watch my child. To consider their current play situation & evaluate whether or not it's time for me to interrupt. I want to give her the room and time to achieve the goals that she sets for herself. It dawned on me a couple of years back that nobody likes to be rushed. So why would I rush my developing child? I'm a huge fan of yours. As a lot of us are. Thank you for sharing all of your knowledge with the rest of us. 🦋🌈
Yes, one of the gifts greatest we can give our children and students is nurturing their concentration! Everyone starts with a different baseline and capacity but much can be done to nurture it (read not screw it up). Without the ability to focus our other talents can't be expressed as effectively.
Hi Ashley, Hope you are doing well. I've been watching your channel past 4 years, and come here time and time again whenever I feel out of control or anxious as a parent looking for some sound advice. And as always you bring me back to perspective and encourage to keep trying. Thanks so much!
Once my 16 month old is done eating, he seems to love playing with his food and water.. puts various foods like remaining peas, carrots etc into his water cup.. pour things out onto various compartments of his plate.. although my first impulse is to stop him from playing cos of the mess, I see the joy and concentration with which he does this. When he was younger he would constantly pull the straw out of his cup n then put so much effort into getting the straw back into the hole of the cup.. n I watched him build up to it every day till he got it. It's such a push n pull inside me.. stop the play cos it's mealtime n once ure done eating let's clean up. Or let him play for a few minutes n then get him out.
Incredible guidance on fostering our children’s concentration! I remember the largest frustration of mine at work was the revolving door of interruptions. To the point where I brought that frustration home bc of the incomplete work that ensued (completing patient notes at home). As an adult, I was able to rationalize that but STILL the bitterness of not being able to complete my work when I wanted to, lingered and interfered with my quality of life. I can only imagine what it’s like for our children when their lives are pulverized by interruptions, intentional or unintentional. Protecting my child’s concentration is something I’ve had to work at; waking up early to give her extra time, biting my tongue, letting food sit for a few mins, not running the vacuum during silent deep play, containing my emotions, rewiring my thoughts on our “schedule,” skipping story time at the library, speaking softly if needed, etc. I’ll never forget the first time my daughter was engaged in deep concentration. She was around 2yo and was focused on building color sorted towers with legos for almost 45mins. I never thought it was possible so early. I simultaneously realized that this profound concentration came to fruition effortlessly as a result of balance between the prepared environment and the prepared adult. We don’t need to do much to foster the development of these beautiful beings, we just need to be patient, be observant, and trust in their interests and desires. Fantastic strategies and guidance, Ashley! ❤️
Hi Haniyyah! 👋 Can you give some examples how you "rewired" your thoughts on your schedule? And are you skipping storytime at the library altogether or to allow freedom of choice of what to do at the library? Thanks in advance!!
@@milenas3797 of course! There are some things I’m flexible on when it comes to our day. If we were planning a park trip and she’s concentrating/engrossed in play, then either park time is truncated or we’ll go in the afternoon if our schedule allows it. Sometimes Nuri is so “in the zone” playing at home that we’ve missed story time at the library but we’ll still go to pick out and borrow books for the week. Another schedule rewiring example is if I notice she’s concentrating on an activity or makes it known when we make eye contact that she’d rather play, then I’ll either do the scheduled task myself or rearrange our schedule and do a task for later in the day, while she plays. For example, folding laundry together, throwing the trash out, making dinner, etc: I’ll just do it myself or start the process. Getting out of the house for groceries when she’s deep in play and I’m on a time crunch, is a tough one. On those days, I let Nuri know afterwards that we have limited time and it’ll be a rushed trip so we won’t be able to take her shopping cart with us or she won’t be able to walk around and assist with putting groceries in the cart BUT we’ll do her justice the next time we go grocery shopping with ample time. Then there’s moments when we need to be out of the house and there’s no way we can afford extra time. Those instances, though rare, suck! But it happens 🤷🏻♀️ Hope this sheds some light. These are just a couple recent examples of staying flexible to prioritize and protect her concentration!
This also goes hand in hand with boundaries and ensuring they're meaningful and logical boundaries. I swear Stella developed her concentrate at our "pantry" cabinet. Sure, it wasn't something I preferred her to work with, but from even before her crawling days, she was fascinated with it. So I instead adjusted the space to be safe for her to explore. And as she got older, I added some elements nearby for her to continue her development-her walker cart to transport items, extra boxes for containment, and now the opportunity to put groceries there by category. But all that work and concentration wouldn't have happened if I placed the arbitrary rule of "don't touch that"!
This is such a good video to share with other caregivers who aren't as engaged in developing the curriculum for the child as a primer for how to homeschool. Thanks, Ashley!
My kid concentrates so much, he even makes this face of extreme focus. I just tried to identify if maybe I could do anything to potentiate and protect this ability. And the stepping back part I'm really going to apply it more, sometimes you just feel like you have to say something to the kid, praise them or start a conversation around the activity, but as you pointed out, that doesn't help concentrating. Thanks.
We once had a software engineer in our lab whose concentration was so insanely deep that (when coding) he was oblivious to anything that was going on around him. We often had to call his name multiple times in order to get his attention. Then on the 3rd or 4th call, he suddenly popped out of his zone and turned to us and said "yes?" Needless to say, he was the best programmer we had. I bet he had Montessori parents.
Thank you Ashley I really connected to this video. Although we say “we have to teach them life doesn’t always wait on them” - I mean cmon they aren’t going to be so little for long. Just a reminder that I needed to hear ❤️
An incredibly insightful video! Not interrupting, is probably the most important but difficult thing to do, especially when you have a great idea etc etc My grandkids can play with a running tap for hours 😆
My toddler finds opening and closing tins so fascinating and I have been in confusion, wondering how of all the toys he would choose to focus on that for minutes hehehe. I can now relax, it's totally normal 😃
this is full of great ideas as always! thanks a lot! from a busy parent: have you considered uploading your book to audible? between work and being with my todler who doesn't concentrate that much it's pretty much impossible for me to read a book, but with audio I can do it in many situation while I am moving
Hi Ashley! This is so great! I love all the useful information that you shared. I do have a question related to letting the child choose their activity to concentrate on. How does this translate to concentration on things they may not enjoy doing or when they do not have a choice for the activity? For example, if they are in school when they're older and they have to do homework or sit through subjects they do not enjoy as much; do you feel like they will be able to demonstrate the same level of concentration on things they did not choose to do/do not love to do? Thank you for all your help!
Hi Ashley, thanks for all the video's. I'm enjoying Every single one. can You leave the link to the XL wooden building blocks, please? I looked Everywhere to buy them but can't seem to find it. Thanks in advance (Pardon my English, dutchspeaking from Belgium)
Hi Ashley! This is great! Any recommendations for helping 2 year old twins concentrate? They always want to be a part of what the other one is doing and it’s causing frustration and lack of concentration as well.
Omg, could you make a tshirt that says this to take to the park? My kid is always being interrupted by "well-meaning" parents when she's playing. She was climbing a structure for the first time, I was behind her just making sure she didn't fall, but this dad kept saying things like "omg look at you" or "you're almost there you got it" my kid loses concentration and starts to back away and come down, I was so sad for her. The other are the ones who keep quizzing them, "look you're on the frog, what does the frog say?" It says shut it she's busy
My experience with boredom seems to be out of the norm. I'd say I was bored any time I was frustrated that what I wanted to do I either wasn't allowed to do or didn't have time for.
Good morning Ashley thank you for another interesting and informative video. If I may ask a question or two please, which may be off-topic, but I appreciate your time and insight. I am raising my 14-year-old autistic ( verbal )grandson. He has been and continues to be in a public or online school environment, he was not raised in a Montessori home or environment. To my dismay, the only time he concentrates is when he is either in a video game with the party chat of some sort, or watching TickTock‘s on his phone. It would not be my choice but he continues to do either or both of those things for the amount of time that he does, however it is a very complex home environment and I have not been successful in reducing the time that he uses electronics. He used to have a huge interest in Legos, or doing puzzles, or doing some sort of craft, or even fishing. At this point if he is not permitted to use electronics, he will, after a verbal outburst, stating his annoyance/ feelings he’ll go to sleep. When you refer to concentration, you talking about the shelf look that the children are doing or the free play, you’re not referring to screen time or electronics is that correct? Do you have any suggestions how to regain his interest and concentration without electronics. For him specifically, if there is no engagement in the game, as in no one‘s in the party communicating with him, he has little interest. I think the banter of the chat is the input he’s seeking. Do you have any experience or suggestions if that attention seeking behavior is so strong how to help how to modify that need for him. This has been going on since early toddler years, and I’ve asked his psychiatrist and therapists how to reduce his need for external reinforcement. So far I have been unsuccessful. Thank you for your time and listening, good day.
My son has autism and it has always, especially as a Montessori teacher, been a challenge to me the amount of enjoyment he gets from video games. Sometimes ADHD and Autism go hand in hand, which is the case with my now grown son. My observation of my son (and of course your grandson might be completely different) is that any sort of medium that completely stimulates him gains his attention because it drowns out the other distractions which fight for his attention more than a typically developing child. It can be stressful to tune out everything, he might not be able to ignore the ticking clock, hum of fridge, neighbors chatting in their driveway, dog licking himself, the pile of magazines, etc. Yet when all the senses are stimulated he can. Video games offer easy access to audio, visual, muscle engagement that is completely absorbing so they are focusing (or at least the game is consuming their focus), just not on a task the Montessori-minded adults in their lives might prefer. The only other things I have found that completely absorb my child so that he will stop self-stimulating, engaging in echolalia, and will completely focus are higher risk/adrenaline producing activities such as zip lining, jet skiing, rock climbing. Sometimes playing an instrument does...Bummer that I can't offer these things on a daily basis! I feel for you. It is hard. Since social struggles are a big part of Autism, even with great support, the buffer of the online platform offers a way to socialize with peers. While it isn't what we are used to, as we learned during the pandemic it is often better than nothing at all.. When I commented to a friend the other day that my son will spends a few hours per day online (never did I think that would happen with MY child!) she commented "Well half the adults I know eight hours a day on a computer and never talk to anyone." Your grandson and my son may not be "productive" as typically defined but they are producing a respite from a world that doesn't get them, and when gaming with others maybe bringing them some joy as well. I'm assuming the games are non-violent etc. My son just plays sports games (Doubles Tennis was the only team sport he could play in real life- so there is that too....). Wishing you luck and peace, you are not alone.
Looks like I ruined my kid’s concentration abilities when she’s toddler age. Is that possible to develop her concentration ability after 5 years old? Thank you Ashley!
Does this also apply to an infant? My 9 month has severe separation anxiety to the point where she cries hysterically if I leave the room and she knows I am in the same room. Also how does it apply to the little ones when we try to teach them to imitate and talk and learn from us basic things like waving and clapping and it’s all done through toys. How can I encourage that in infancy?
Hey Ashley, i have a big problem that i need help with. SO… im a very sensitive person when it comes to clothes and from being a child i remember all clothes bugging me and it infuriated me. It still does i wear nothing that is tight and somw days something bothers me that didnt bother me the day before. Now the problem,,, my 5 year old daughter is the same and somehow i cannot manage to feel the patience to her even tho i know how it feels. Everymorning she screames i think its because of the noise in her sound that botbers me the most, probably because i know how it feels but i cant handle that sound! yells and pushes away the clothes saying its so uncomfortable and even tho its something she loved yesterday. The clothing doesnt matter its how she feels that day. Hooooow can i apporoach this i. the moment of rushing theough the morning it can take her 30 min just for clothes. Help
Montessoris approach was initiated for children with learning difficulties. What aspect were you wanting more information on? Montessori's focus on 'Pratical life skills' would be the area I would suggest you look more into.
My daughter has this extreme need for attention and for me to play with her. How do I participate with her? Should I be participating with her? She also throws tantrums if she doesn’t do something right/can’t get an object to do what she wants it to do. And if I ask her if she wants me to help she gets really upset and can either hit or run away or just start wailing. I need help!
'attention' is such a hard topic to address. I would suggest taking a deep breath before you respond to your child presenting as though they want your attention. Sometimes the way you engage has an impact on the way they respond so try to remain calm. Sometimes it's just an extra squeeshy cuddle, lots of kisses and a tickle. Touch is hugely comforting for a child so I would suggest responding to her expressions with extra affection... As for 'tantrums' montessori wouldn't categorize those expressions as tantrums. I think Hapafamily have a few videos about what to do with these tricky situations. (Good luck)
Hi. Would like to ask. My baby is 10m and her orla is very active. What would u do when she is observng tiny thing then about to put in the mouth? Am i interrupting when i want to not let it in the mouth?
Safety comes first. Small objects can be life threatening for a baby. So not leting to put it in her mouth is just you doing your job as a parent keeping your baby safe. You can say that don't goes in mouth and if possible ofer something that is safe for her to put in her mouth. That's what I did with my boys.
To be honest children have senses in the mouth that they use to 'discover' the world. If you are supervising your child then I would not interrupt them and allow them to use these senses for their exploration. However unsupervised, I suggest keeping small objects away. Maybe offer bigger items instead so that you are not too concerned about choking as it's very important that babies use their mouths as a form of 'exploration'
I was also always the person being interrupted at work due to my role and where my seat was (next to the coffee and by the Directors and DVP 🙃). BUT even then, if I had headphones in or was on the phone, people would just turn around and leave unless it was a true emergency. We have a level of respect for an adult in clear deep flow! Why not for kids? 🤷♀️
You are such a bright light in the Montessori community. Thank you for working so hard to make such great content and (most importantly) being the greatest version of you for your children and family.
I have been working with children for years and practiced a lot of Montessori philosophies in my work, I am now pregnant and doing it alone as a single mama (not by choice but happily!) and I’m trying to meet like minded parents! This channel is awesome 💜 so many good recourses . Thank you!
Our daughter has complex care needs, learning disabilities and developmental delays in all areas from a rare genetic syndrome. Concentration is very hard for her, everything excites her and she has a lot of energy. A clinical psychologist reviewed her and she said start small and extend by 20-30 seconds each week. Its taken years but we can see some great progress. Montessori, observing her, changing our environment here to be calmer and more hygge have all helped her and us. Thank you for the great content, we still have more progress to make and this video was very helpful. The not interupting is very hard when play is her therapy also eg, modelling language, pecs cards for her speach therapy. She is pre verbal/ non verbal and finding the balance with this is still a work in progress for me. X
I try to always take a step back and watch my child. To consider their current play situation & evaluate whether or not it's time for me to interrupt. I want to give her the room and time to achieve the goals that she sets for herself. It dawned on me a couple of years back that nobody likes to be rushed. So why would I rush my developing child? I'm a huge fan of yours. As a lot of us are. Thank you for sharing all of your knowledge with the rest of us. 🦋🌈
Yes, one of the gifts greatest we can give our children and students is nurturing their concentration! Everyone starts with a different baseline and capacity but much can be done to nurture it (read not screw it up). Without the ability to focus our other talents can't be expressed as effectively.
Hi Ashley, Hope you are doing well. I've been watching your channel past 4 years, and come here time and time again whenever I feel out of control or anxious as a parent looking for some sound advice.
And as always you bring me back to perspective and encourage to keep trying.
Thanks so much!
Once my 16 month old is done eating, he seems to love playing with his food and water.. puts various foods like remaining peas, carrots etc into his water cup.. pour things out onto various compartments of his plate.. although my first impulse is to stop him from playing cos of the mess, I see the joy and concentration with which he does this. When he was younger he would constantly pull the straw out of his cup n then put so much effort into getting the straw back into the hole of the cup.. n I watched him build up to it every day till he got it. It's such a push n pull inside me.. stop the play cos it's mealtime n once ure done eating let's clean up. Or let him play for a few minutes n then get him out.
Incredible guidance on fostering our children’s concentration!
I remember the largest frustration of mine at work was the revolving door of interruptions. To the point where I brought that frustration home bc of the incomplete work that ensued (completing patient notes at home). As an adult, I was able to rationalize that but STILL the bitterness of not being able to complete my work when I wanted to, lingered and interfered with my quality of life. I can only imagine what it’s like for our children when their lives are pulverized by interruptions, intentional or unintentional.
Protecting my child’s concentration is something I’ve had to work at; waking up early to give her extra time, biting my tongue, letting food sit for a few mins, not running the vacuum during silent deep play, containing my emotions, rewiring my thoughts on our “schedule,” skipping story time at the library, speaking softly if needed, etc.
I’ll never forget the first time my daughter was engaged in deep concentration. She was around 2yo and was focused on building color sorted towers with legos for almost 45mins. I never thought it was possible so early. I simultaneously realized that this profound concentration came to fruition effortlessly as a result of balance between the prepared environment and the prepared adult. We don’t need to do much to foster the development of these beautiful beings, we just need to be patient, be observant, and trust in their interests and desires.
Fantastic strategies and guidance, Ashley! ❤️
Hi Haniyyah! 👋 Can you give some examples how you "rewired" your thoughts on your schedule? And are you skipping storytime at the library altogether or to allow freedom of choice of what to do at the library? Thanks in advance!!
@@milenas3797 of course! There are some things I’m flexible on when it comes to our day. If we were planning a park trip and she’s concentrating/engrossed in play, then either park time is truncated or we’ll go in the afternoon if our schedule allows it. Sometimes Nuri is so “in the zone” playing at home that we’ve missed story time at the library but we’ll still go to pick out and borrow books for the week. Another schedule rewiring example is if I notice she’s concentrating on an activity or makes it known when we make eye contact that she’d rather play, then I’ll either do the scheduled task myself or rearrange our schedule and do a task for later in the day, while she plays. For example, folding laundry together, throwing the trash out, making dinner, etc: I’ll just do it myself or start the process.
Getting out of the house for groceries when she’s deep in play and I’m on a time crunch, is a tough one. On those days, I let Nuri know afterwards that we have limited time and it’ll be a rushed trip so we won’t be able to take her shopping cart with us or she won’t be able to walk around and assist with putting groceries in the cart BUT we’ll do her justice the next time we go grocery shopping with ample time. Then there’s moments when we need to be out of the house and there’s no way we can afford extra time. Those instances, though rare, suck! But it happens 🤷🏻♀️ Hope this sheds some light. These are just a couple recent examples of staying flexible to prioritize and protect her concentration!
This also goes hand in hand with boundaries and ensuring they're meaningful and logical boundaries. I swear Stella developed her concentrate at our "pantry" cabinet. Sure, it wasn't something I preferred her to work with, but from even before her crawling days, she was fascinated with it. So I instead adjusted the space to be safe for her to explore. And as she got older, I added some elements nearby for her to continue her development-her walker cart to transport items, extra boxes for containment, and now the opportunity to put groceries there by category. But all that work and concentration wouldn't have happened if I placed the arbitrary rule of "don't touch that"!
This is such a good video to share with other caregivers who aren't as engaged in developing the curriculum for the child as a primer for how to homeschool. Thanks, Ashley!
My kid concentrates so much, he even makes this face of extreme focus. I just tried to identify if maybe I could do anything to potentiate and protect this ability. And the stepping back part I'm really going to apply it more, sometimes you just feel like you have to say something to the kid, praise them or start a conversation around the activity, but as you pointed out, that doesn't help concentrating. Thanks.
We once had a software engineer in our lab whose concentration was so insanely deep that (when coding) he was oblivious to anything that was going on around him. We often had to call his name multiple times in order to get his attention. Then on the 3rd or 4th call, he suddenly popped out of his zone and turned to us and said "yes?" Needless to say, he was the best programmer we had. I bet he had Montessori parents.
Thank you Ashley I really connected to this video. Although we say “we have to teach them life doesn’t always wait on them” - I mean cmon they aren’t going to be so little for long. Just a reminder that I needed to hear ❤️
I'm on love with your videos and simply the way you parent your children. Learning so much from you.
An incredibly insightful video! Not interrupting, is probably the most important but difficult thing to do, especially when you have a great idea etc etc My grandkids can play with a running tap for hours 😆
ASHLEY your videos are SO helpful! I am learning so much from you! THANK you so much from this mama of a toddler💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Thank you
Thank you for sharing such valuable content ❤
Great tips.
My toddler finds opening and closing tins so fascinating and I have been in confusion, wondering how of all the toys he would choose to focus on that for minutes hehehe. I can now relax, it's totally normal 😃
this is full of great ideas as always! thanks a lot! from a busy parent: have you considered uploading your book to audible? between work and being with my todler who doesn't concentrate that much it's pretty much impossible for me to read a book, but with audio I can do it in many situation while I am moving
Hi Ashley! This is so great! I love all the useful information that you shared. I do have a question related to letting the child choose their activity to concentrate on. How does this translate to concentration on things they may not enjoy doing or when they do not have a choice for the activity? For example, if they are in school when they're older and they have to do homework or sit through subjects they do not enjoy as much; do you feel like they will be able to demonstrate the same level of concentration on things they did not choose to do/do not love to do? Thank you for all your help!
Another fantastic video! 🙂
Hi Ashley, thanks for all the video's. I'm enjoying Every single one. can You leave the link to the XL wooden building blocks, please? I looked Everywhere to buy them but can't seem to find it. Thanks in advance (Pardon my English, dutchspeaking from Belgium)
Thank you ❤️
Love it!
Hi Ashley! This is great! Any recommendations for helping 2 year old twins concentrate? They always want to be a part of what the other one is doing and it’s causing frustration and lack of concentration as well.
Omg, could you make a tshirt that says this to take to the park? My kid is always being interrupted by "well-meaning" parents when she's playing. She was climbing a structure for the first time, I was behind her just making sure she didn't fall, but this dad kept saying things like "omg look at you" or "you're almost there you got it" my kid loses concentration and starts to back away and come down, I was so sad for her. The other are the ones who keep quizzing them, "look you're on the frog, what does the frog say?" It says shut it she's busy
I always interrupt the adult and have a convo with them so they stop disturbing mine!!!
My experience with boredom seems to be out of the norm. I'd say I was bored any time I was frustrated that what I wanted to do I either wasn't allowed to do or didn't have time for.
Have you ever considered to start a podcast?
Good morning Ashley thank you for another interesting and informative video. If I may ask a question or two please, which may be off-topic, but I appreciate your time and insight. I am raising my 14-year-old autistic ( verbal )grandson. He has been and continues to be in a public or online school environment, he was not raised in a Montessori home or environment. To my dismay, the only time he concentrates is when he is either in a video game with the party chat of some sort, or watching TickTock‘s on his phone. It would not be my choice but he continues to do either or both of those things for the amount of time that he does, however it is a very complex home environment and I have not been successful in reducing the time that he uses electronics. He used to have a huge interest in Legos, or doing puzzles, or doing some sort of craft, or even fishing. At this point if he is not permitted to use electronics, he will, after a verbal outburst, stating his annoyance/ feelings he’ll go to sleep. When you refer to concentration, you talking about the shelf look that the children are doing or the free play, you’re not referring to screen time or electronics is that correct? Do you have any suggestions how to regain his interest and concentration without electronics. For him specifically, if there is no engagement in the game, as in no one‘s in the party communicating with him, he has little interest. I think the banter of the chat is the input he’s seeking. Do you have any experience or suggestions if that attention seeking behavior is so strong how to help how to modify that need for him. This has been going on since early toddler years, and I’ve asked his psychiatrist and therapists how to reduce his need for external reinforcement. So far I have been unsuccessful. Thank you for your time and listening, good day.
It sounds like he’s interested in the social aspect of the games. Can he socialize in person?
My son has autism and it has always, especially as a Montessori teacher, been a challenge to me the amount of enjoyment he gets from video games. Sometimes ADHD and Autism go hand in hand, which is the case with my now grown son. My observation of my son (and of course your grandson might be completely different) is that any sort of medium that completely stimulates him gains his attention because it drowns out the other distractions which fight for his attention more than a typically developing child.
It can be stressful to tune out everything, he might not be able to ignore the ticking clock, hum of fridge, neighbors chatting in their driveway, dog licking himself, the pile of magazines, etc. Yet when all the senses are stimulated he can. Video games offer easy access to audio, visual, muscle engagement that is completely absorbing so they are focusing (or at least the game is consuming their focus), just not on a task the Montessori-minded adults in their lives might prefer. The only other things I have found that completely absorb my child so that he will stop self-stimulating, engaging in echolalia, and will completely focus are higher risk/adrenaline producing activities such as zip lining, jet skiing, rock climbing. Sometimes playing an instrument does...Bummer that I can't offer these things on a daily basis! I feel for you. It is hard.
Since social struggles are a big part of Autism, even with great support, the buffer of the online platform offers a way to socialize with peers. While it isn't what we are used to, as we learned during the pandemic it is often better than nothing at all..
When I commented to a friend the other day that my son will spends a few hours per day online (never did I think that would happen with MY child!) she commented "Well half the adults I know eight hours a day on a computer and never talk to anyone." Your grandson and my son may not be "productive" as typically defined but they are producing a respite from a world that doesn't get them, and when gaming with others maybe bringing them some joy as well. I'm assuming the games are non-violent etc. My son just plays sports games (Doubles Tennis was the only team sport he could play in real life- so there is that too....).
Wishing you luck and peace, you are not alone.
Looks like I ruined my kid’s concentration abilities when she’s toddler age. Is that possible to develop her concentration ability after 5 years old? Thank you Ashley!
Does this also apply to an infant? My 9 month has severe separation anxiety to the point where she cries hysterically if I leave the room and she knows I am in the same room.
Also how does it apply to the little ones when we try to teach them to imitate and talk and learn from us basic things like waving and clapping and it’s all done through toys.
How can I encourage that in infancy?
Hey Ashley, i have a big problem that i need help with. SO… im a very sensitive person when it comes to clothes and from being a child i remember all clothes bugging me and it infuriated me. It still does i wear nothing that is tight and somw days something bothers me that didnt bother me the day before.
Now the problem,,, my 5 year old daughter is the same and somehow i cannot manage to feel the patience to her even tho i know how it feels.
Everymorning she screames i think its because of the noise in her sound that botbers me the most, probably because i know how it feels but i cant handle that sound!
yells and pushes away the clothes saying its so uncomfortable and even tho its something she loved yesterday.
The clothing doesnt matter its how she feels that day.
Hooooow can i apporoach this i. the moment of rushing theough the morning it can take her 30 min just for clothes.
Help
What about children with ADHD? Could you make a video for that ? Thank you!
Montessoris approach was initiated for children with learning difficulties. What aspect were you wanting more information on? Montessori's focus on 'Pratical life skills' would be the area I would suggest you look more into.
....fine...I'll give him a break😅 I am so one of those helicopter parents
My daughter has this extreme need for attention and for me to play with her. How do I participate with her? Should I be participating with her? She also throws tantrums if she doesn’t do something right/can’t get an object to do what she wants it to do. And if I ask her if she wants me to help she gets really upset and can either hit or run away or just start wailing.
I need help!
'attention' is such a hard topic to address. I would suggest taking a deep breath before you respond to your child presenting as though they want your attention. Sometimes the way you engage has an impact on the way they respond so try to remain calm. Sometimes it's just an extra squeeshy cuddle, lots of kisses and a tickle. Touch is hugely comforting for a child so I would suggest responding to her expressions with extra affection... As for 'tantrums' montessori wouldn't categorize those expressions as tantrums. I think Hapafamily have a few videos about what to do with these tricky situations. (Good luck)
If my son is bored, he will climb on to the couch n start jumping on us.
Hi. Would like to ask. My baby is 10m and her orla is very active. What would u do when she is observng tiny thing then about to put in the mouth? Am i interrupting when i want to not let it in the mouth?
Safety comes first. Small objects can be life threatening for a baby. So not leting to put it in her mouth is just you doing your job as a parent keeping your baby safe. You can say that don't goes in mouth and if possible ofer something that is safe for her to put in her mouth. That's what I did with my boys.
To be honest children have senses in the mouth that they use to 'discover' the world. If you are supervising your child then I would not interrupt them and allow them to use these senses for their exploration. However unsupervised, I suggest keeping small objects away. Maybe offer bigger items instead so that you are not too concerned about choking as it's very important that babies use their mouths as a form of 'exploration'
Grandparents are the issue for us.
Constantly interrupting, praising and so fixated with their dysfunctional ways.