7 Embarrassing Pieces of Gear We Had to Wear for the Stats
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ม.ค. 2025
- The stats of your gear can mean the difference between winning and losing. That’s how you end up in a situation where you abandon all taste and decency to wear some of the most embarrassing outfits in the game, just for a competitive edge. Ponder these seven embarrassing pieces of gear we had to equip just for those sweet stats, and subscribe for more videos like this from Outside Xbox!
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"Ah, so you've finally arrived. Be ready to-What are you wearing?"
"IT'S MY ASS KICKING OUTFIT, BIT-!"
Precisely what I was thinking.
Just do the sidequest & get all the pinecones, and you can KO King Dragon without any outfit stats.
@@HermititisOh, yeah, that guy always sends his regards.
😂😂
I'm happy this is the top comment.
Fallout 4 is full of "this looks terrible, but has great stats". My character has been living in the Grognak costume for so long...
Honestly, the Nuka Girl suit isn't really that good statswise anyway (Its biggest upside can be gained by a perk), the Grognak outfit would make more sense for this list and looks just as ridiculous
The real problem with most outfits in FO4 is that they just can't compete with a baseball uniform that's had ballistic weave upgrades combined with six pieces of piecemeal armor that all provide stat buffs.
Looks good on female characters tho ...
yea was gonna say grognak + the ax hace some huge scaling stregth buffs. Thow in the iron help from CC and some rad powered gear and you can get some ludircris strength
@@darksteelmenace595cringe
For the God of War entry, I'm honestly shocked you went with the spud outfit instead of the "Dairy Bastard" outfit from the first game. Dressing as a giant cow complete with udders and beating enemies to death with milk cartons is honestly far more embarrassing.
But did it have good stats?
@@Stratelier From the wiki, it cut your attack in half, but gave you unlimited magic and doubled the effects of any orbs you pick up.
Let's not forget the Cod of War costume from the second game. Kratos was dressed in a ridiculous blue fish costume with his blades replaced with fishhooks but it doubled the value of all orbs while keeping your strength and defense the same.
Worth it for the spud pun though
far more awesome*
You wear the Ranger Tights for stats, I wear it for fashion. We are not the same.
I think Gale put it best:
"You look… comfortable. A mite over-exposed, given the perils of our adventure, but I suppose it adds a thrilling edge to leave oneself open to danger and… other things."
The shirt their Arisen had the tights paired with is called the "Ranger's Vest". Umm, that sounds like a matching set to me! Clearly the outfit it meant to be worn, cheeks a'flappin.
it's no cursed... sorry, formerly cursed pair of panties from a mysterious island dungeon.
Tbh the choice of armor for DD2 is both scarce and lackluster in general imho. You have 4 slots but the most impactful in the ring choice, while the scarf/hood is only for look almost. The armor choice can vary a bit of defense and provide anti stun but that's it, but the game is easy enough to don't care actually.
The main problem is that there are just a handful of options per class, and many do not even look good at all (I hate the mages sets). Then they added the skimpy outfits for the female characters
2:29 "As briefs go, they are the briefest." 🤣
Brilliant writing.
Wonder if Ellen snuck that in 😅
Shockingly... they actually aren't. That ignominious honor goes to the Jewel Woven Sandals. Which consists of the aforementioned sandals and a teeny, tiny gold satin almost-thong. The phrase "banana hammock" comes to mind.
"Battle-panties" 🤣
Jane got me slappin with briefest of briefs.
🤣🤣🤣
The first piece of armour you find in Divnity Original Sin 2 is a bucket you can put on your head. It provides a decent bit of physical armour, which is very nice in the super early game, but it gives you -1 initiative, presumably because it's a bit hard to see what's going on with a bucket on your head.
Even worse if you are undead, instead of worn as a hat you'll have the bucket pulled all the way down with no way to see out of it. Still only -1 imitative though, I guess undead have really good hearing.
@@commandoepsilon4664 Was playing a few days ago and I believe it's the same for everyone. The bucket does not care how alive you are - nobody is allowed to see!
@@gaildahlas Maybe it's just the lizards that can see then... idk it's been a while but I could swear there was a difference with at least some of them.
🤣🤣🤣 11:13 - The sight of Snake slowly turning to look to his left in that mask is just hilarious. I genuinely laughed out loud🤣🤣🤣
In Dark Souls 2, the Jester top is very handy in the foggy area of the Shaded Woods, which is full of ghosts that try to backstab you. The Jester top prevents backstabs, you see.
Considering that fact that many players choose to run around with no pants because *stats* I wonder if the Souls games are automatically disqualified. Or maybe they should get a blanket entry for the "wore it for the stats" category... Lol
@@WavingWorld They keep trying to ask players to wear clothes politely and no matter how high the weight percentage gets and the fact that you had a significant protection debuff for having an empty armor slot. Rolly Polly players still run around naked.. well now I suppose with a honey pot on their head, like that makes it any better.
Are we talking about Soulsborne here? Cause I look like a total fatass wearing the Lionel set in Elden ring🍔🌭🍕
@@insaincaldo Defense stats don't matter if you never get hit!
Oh come on no Dairy Bastard costume from the original God of war (not 2018 for the youngsters). Unlimited magic but you dress as a cow with milk jugs instead of your blades of chaos.
The bunny hood giving me the ability to move around quickly, made it a permanent equip.
As a child it even made me go back to OOT, and complete the mask salesman's quest of delivering all the masks to the right customer, because I thought it would make the bunny hood work like it did in Majora's Mask.
It did not 😔
This list should definitely include Dragon Age II's "Golden Prince Rainment": It confers +2 to all stats, +44 health and +10% damage resistance in exchange for making The Champion of Kirkwall look like a blinged-out Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz.
I’m just disappointed that the rangers tights didn’t come with a reference to Robin Hood men in tights, it would have been great fun
A criminal dropping of the ball.
@@maturin1919 "Sorry, that happens sometimes if I move wrong in them."
Do we need to bring up Link’s frostbite outfit? Instead of a tunic to protect from the winter, you wear a revealing dress. At least Link looks good in it.
It's technically supposed to increase attack and give frost damage in the cold, not protect. Maybe it passes on his cold to the enemy.😅
@@sclark865 So called the frostbite dress because it's so revealing it gives you frostbite! And that, uh... Makes you better in battle!
Use your pain to strike down your enemy🫨
Works for the Nords of Elder Scrolls, dressed with nothing but a beard and still shrugs of the chill.
I mean to be fair I genuinely think Link looks hot as hell in it. Like he looks SO unreasonably good in it lol.
That Stone Mask in Bloodstained is not embarrassing. It is "Throwing my humanity away, JoJo!!!".
It is literally the same mask as in JJBA. It has appeared in Castlevania games more than once, I believe
@@Phantom_of_BlackAnd if you Wear it and hold down Myriam strikes some jojo poses.
@@romainrondeau4242 Miriam Jojo poses regardless of equipment.
I remember when the meta for Mario Kart 8 was all people playing as Waluigi riding the Wiggler bike with tiny wheels.
Which is a fun thing to get beaten by repeatedly.
Making a note to try this for the 1p mode 100cc-150cc when I unlock all the parts XD
@@cyberra0180 Gonna be a while... Mostly due to the Gold parts. Just look them up on the Mario Kart wiki and see for yourself.
Hey, Kratos may look ridiculous as a potato, but his butt is much more covered than the DD2 ranger, so that's a plus.
Not to mention his regular miniskirt.
@@lnsflare1it is not a skirt
Persona 3 has the “Battle Panties” it doesn’t have the best stats for later game battles but in the beginning game they are pretty good 😂
Your female teammates will be embarrassed if you talk to them while they wear it too
Was gonna comment this
@@KRW604my favorite was talking to the male characters while playing as the female MC 😂
Thankfully in the Reload remake they separated armor from cosmetic clothes.
It gives a unique model for each of the girls, too, funnily enough.
Fallout New Vegas: the early-game “Naughty Nightwear” that sees you donning leopard-print PJs for the whopping +10 to Speech for crucial conversations
The "let me slip into something more comfortable" of video games
In Diablo 3, a crusader using the invoker/thorns build had the best effect using the Pig Sticker, a dagger with the fastest attack rate in the game. The catch was that it would randomly produce loud pig squeals.
So, the hero of New Tristram arrives back from slaughtering an army of hellspawn with a loud pig squeal announcing our return
Dragon's Dogma 2 - Charming Corset is literally one of the best pieces of kit in the game. If I remember correctly, it actually has higher stat than a number of post-game armours and is better than them for non-melee focused classes (its knockback resistance isn't as high as some end-game melee armours which makes it a bit less useful in that respect).
It looks exactly like you might expect. It's basically lingerie, since you don't wear anything underneath and the only thing you can do for additional coverage (since it takes up both body and leg slot) is a cloak. It's not quite bikini armour, but it only covers up about as much as a one piece bathing suit. Naturally, it's a bit more awkward to have a male character (pawn or Arisen) wearing it, but stats are stats, and it's endgame worthy equipment that can be used for any class.
Ghost of Tsushima has the fundoshi which is acquired by visiting all of the hot springs and when it's equipped causes running and sprinting to no longer make noise. The fundoshi is basically Jin Sakai running around in his undergarments.
But it's not upgradeable and what it offers for perks are far worse than any other outfit.
Mike breaking out the Warhammer Ork logic for cars there
Obligatory callout to the ProZD skit about this very subject. XD
Far Cry 6 features a cartoonish crocodile mascot helmet that is crazy good. You can get it after completing the story mission “Diesel Daisy” and it comes equipped with the "Guerilla Defender" perk which increases defense against soft-target, armor piercing, and blast damage. I still wear it to this day because it’s funny and the defense buff it gives you against all the damage types is genuinely OP.
But at least the game gives you the option to hide/change the appearance of your equipment
That chip joke is s-mashing
Bravo 👏
Xenoblade Chronicles has an interesting mechanic where each character gets a massive boost in something if they're just in their underwear.
That's a Dunban skill, I forget if it's shareable and I thought it was only agility.
@@Kletian999I've not played that specific title, but that would be in line with it's predecessor, Xenosaga, which had a "swimsuits"that increased agility so their attack turns would get priority and higher frequency.
Naked Dunban Strats!
Naked Dunban. I never used it in the original game, but tried it out in Definitive Edition. It actually worked better than I thought it would.
Monster Hunter World is a masterclass in ugly gear being the best.
So much so that the DLC introduced cosmetic armor that always shows instead of whatever actual armor you're wearing.
I was once in a D&D game (1st edition) where the DM decided to see how far people would go for gear. We were attacked by circus performers. The loot: a gorilla suit of AC 0 (equivalent to plate mail +3 basically), the Clown Shoes of Striding and Springing, the Clown Nose of Adaptation and the Tutu of Spell Turning.
"battle panties" is brilliant
I submit for your approval: the subligar from Final Fantasy XI.
This set of armor in the early going was pretty much the first upgrade that low-level characters got in the MMORPG. It also was basically a kinky outfit, with straps across the chest and legs and fully exposed thighs, no matter your character's gender.
You didn't get to cover yourself with something more dignified for roughly another five levels, and since this was an older MMORPG, those levels did not come quickly, meaning it was Real Naked Thigh Hours for quite some time back in the day.
Literally any mage headwear in Dragon Age: Origins. But especially the ones that look like dunce hats.
the robes aren't much better to be honest, I guess templars choose their wardrobe
First thing I thought of, honestly.
Omg yes! This is the first thought I had when I started watching this video. It was a running joke when playing DA for me to put Anders in increasingly ugly hats because of their stats
That line from the pawn about a splendid discovery with the camera pan nearly made me spit my drink 😂
The Burning Crusade before armor customization (or TBC Classic for that matter) as a Rogue. Not sure how I'm supposed to be stealthy while wearing a neon orange vest, neon green boots, neon red leggings, and neon blue gloves, but I'm guessing the enemy just assumes they're hallucenating until it's too late
If Naruto can be a ninja (traditionally stealthy assassins) in a bright orange jumpsuit while screaming his lungs out, I think your rogue will be fine.
Chromatic boots and conq spaulders in vanilla as a warrior, it was a look lol
There is no shame in Mr. Scooty. I pick that regularly because I love the name (and how some of the taller characters have to hunch over the handlebars a little).
Shout out to Resident Evil 4 remake where, while not as wild as these, does have lovingly detailed chicken heads for both Leon and Ada (among other animal bits which different stats) which reduce damage taken. Also, Dragon Age: Inquisition's plaidweave - sure it's stats really depend on what you craft it with, but hideous regardless!
I was also thinking of plaidweave from DA:I 😂. It’s so bad.
The plaidweave us a crime against fashion and hood taste overall. I couldn't subject my Inquisitor to that. 😂
Ah yes, the "ass kicking outfit"
In Diablo 3's first seasons there was a head gear that was obviously the best, stat-wise, for Barbarians.
The dissonance between the obviously north-european inspired barbarians (both male and female models) and the samurai-like helm EVERYONE was wearing in the endgame was hilarious!
(that was before they added the option to change items' appearances, of course)
When I read "spud of war", it brought an image to my mind. Then, the video confirmed my hypothesis. That is a great potato!
I'm surprised Witcher 3 didn't turn up. It's not an issue late in the game but there is some really ugly early game armor that I always end up wearing.
What you may not know is that the Stone Mask that you wear in Bloodstained is actually a replica of the Stone Mask that turned DIO into a vampire in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 1. Long story short: It’s a JoJo reference. Lol
Rogue Trader.
“Errr… Lord Captain… as the undisputed master of numerous planets and slayer of great enemies, you know we respect you, right? It’s just… well… why are you dressed like a gimp?”
“It’s the bonus! I need the bonus!”
We're men in tights
Tight tights!
Always on guard defending the people's rights🎶
Manly men!
We Rob from the rich and give to the poor that's right!
So watch what you say, or else we'll put out your lights.
Battle panties and posing pouch are two sentences I never thought to hear Jane say...
14:02 this Stone Mask looks so bizarre, it makes me wanna reject my humanity. 😂
Yeah, that's the one I was expecting when I saw that Majora's Mask was on here.
Absolute insanity that anyone in media today *wouldn't get that reference*
It’s sad how they didn’t even realize the resemblance.
Kotor2 Dancer outfit. Based of Princess Leia's VI "outfit" on Jabbas barge and gives a +2 Persuade. Been too long to remember exact moments but there were times I would equip it to pass a persuade check.
In Final Fantasy XI, the first armor that I was able to make that was better than the starting equipment, the bronze harness, was as revealing as the Ranger's Tights!
It’s not exactly silly. But the Wavemother’s robe in BG3 is my personal favorite. Especially if you have one of the beefier companions like Karlach or Halsin wear it
Recently had my D&D party visit a town with a shop that sold minor magical items. One of the PCs ended up buying a pair of "lucky trousers" that let him reroll a critical failure once per day. They were also magenta and sized for a dwarf, so the rogue is now walking around in bright pink shorts.
"Hawkeye's posing pouch" good lawd
The Bronze Harness set in Final Fantasy 11 was some of the best armour available at very low levels, meaning that starting players using the Warrior or Thief jobs would be wearing what amounted to not much more than a skimpy metal swimsuit. Notably, that applied to both male and female character models. And since that armour was also useful for some of the advanced job classes (like Paladin or Dark Knight), and the higher-level Brass Harness set was, visually, a recolour of the Bronze Harness set and also pretty decent, you got players who *weren't* just starting out *also* wearing what amounted to not much more than a skimpy metal swimsuit.
It turns out that having the bright idea to wear more than just a pair of metal rings as protection for your legs requires being at least level 16, as that's when the Bone Harness set becomes available... provided, of course, that you don't switch to something else, like leather.
The Devs just want to see how many people will wear the most ridiculous outfits for the stats. I am going out now to look for the ranger's outfit! Probably get arrested in Mississippi!
Did Mike write the joke about stripes making cars faster, or was he blackmailed into saying it?
The weird clothes/accessories just make cutscenes 100x better in my opinion even if they don’t give you stats
Like sure I’m having a serious conversation about how someone is infected with a virus but hey! Look at my weird Lego head :D
Makes me think of when I was playing Final Fantasy 15 and had this emotional touching cutscene but I had the Cup Noodles helmet on so I was just sitting there laughing
Oh my goodness I didn't even know that was possible, I haven't played any Final Fantasy games in a long time! I'll have to check that out after I finish up Kingdom Hearts XD
You are correct.
@@TaliaTheHybridwhile not as funny, my Noctis is cosplaying as a master assassin 24/7. I truly wonder what his very serious enemies think about that while talking to him
In Dungeon Siege 2, there's a helmet called the "Mysterious Bucket" which increases your chance to find magic loot and grants the unique stat bonus to beligerence.
Mass Effect 2, Collector armor. I'm sure there are no friendly fire incident in your future !
Wow, the chip on the shoulder joke was *awesome*! (Yes, I love bad puns).
MGS V, the chicken hat! A hat that causes enemies not to notice you in their line of sight up to three times. You may look ridiculous but whose laughing when the guards are all unconscious?
Aww, don't you harp on the bunny hood. That was one of the best masks AND looked awesome. So cute and aesthetic as f***.
Skullkid wishes he had that one instead.
It makes glad that at least in FromSoftware games the ugliest stuff tends to also have the worst stats, at least for my build. I try to strike a balance between wearing something that looks decent and wearing something that gives me good protection while also not making me fat-roll. Although with there not being equip load in Bloodborne, it's really easy to focus on the fashion in that game.
I'm currently struggling with an Arcane build in Elden Ring. The Silver Tear Mask gives +8 Aracane, that's a lot, but it looks terrible...
Do all ox t-shirts have stat boosts or just that one?
Think they all boost comfort and charisma if you talk to fellow fans you might have a chance to be with 🙂
Gotta love the Dragon Age Origins cloth head armor. Specifically, the Libertarian's Cowl, which gave +12 defense, and +0 chance any companion would want to sleep with you.
Anyone else reminded of that one ProZD skit?
“What are you wearing?”
“It’s my @$$kikking outfit, beech!”
Yep, and I was wondering how many others would remember it. It's a favorite of mine.
"Battle Panties" is a hilarious concept. More games need them.
7:36 “If it’s red, it’s fast.” Bro is, in fact, an Ork.
5:46 does anyone onow the name of this song? In the background as jane speaks
In Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed, there's a set of clothes you can buy called the Emperor's clothes. Among purchasable clothing, they have the highest base HP. The embarrassing part? They're invisible. They're a reference to the fable The Emperor's New Clothes, after all.
I never realized that one of the best Mario Kart 8 setups just looks so genuinely hilarious
Some Ashlander chieftain have me a THONG for doing all his tasks a THONG!!!
Metal Gear Solid 3 is a prime example of 1st play through vs 10th play through
I see Mike runs on Ork logic when it comes to cars!
7:36 Mike is an Ork from Warhammer 40k
7:30 insert 40k Ork grunts of agreement here
"If it has stripes it's fast, If It's red it's fast" 7:34 Spoken like a true 40k Ork.
The Mask of Clavicus Vile springs to mind. I hate that ugly thing, but boy is it useful. Just let me hide it under my Nightingale hood already.
How about Bayonetta's Hyrule Attire. It grants her the ability to use Moon of Mahaa-Kalaa, which blocks any damage when timed right even if it isn't equipped as an accessory, but it weirdly looks uncomfortable and I don't know why.
Link wearing the bunny hood is the cutest thing ever and I refuse to be embarrassed about it
I like the way Link looks in the Bunny Hood (hand itching to reach for pitchfork.)
14:01 that is clearly a JoJo reference.
"7 Bizarre things we had to wear on our Adventures in vidja"
Hearing Epona’s theme near the end of the video along with the following sounds and music filled me with nostalgia.
The Xenosaga games all have swimsuits for every character and they give really good boosts. Yeah, those fights and cut scenes were awkward when my mom walked in.
Don't forget the wedding dress in Xenogears, or that wearing just your underwear in Xenoblades buff a stat massively. Seems to the be a rolling theme in the Xeno series.
Sadly the only ones I ever had were Xenosaga and it's two direct sequels. Favorite games of all time, but I can't play them because my ps2 died. :(
@@encyclopediaofelizabeth I'm currently replaying the series at the moment, am about half way through the first disc for Jenseits von Gut und Böse
@@majikthise7063 nice!
The "Sir John Phallustiff" (a slightly more subtle name for the reworked, Saints Row classic) was my highest stat weapon throughout all of my first Cyberpunk playthrough. I had to unequip it anytime my mum came in the room
Since that was only available on one specific path, they've added another weapon in the newer patches: The BFC 9000. It's slightly larger, a different color, and has better stats, but is the same concept.
It was perfect for the cyber psycho missions back in 1.6 and available pretty early in the game. A priceless tool.
@@Apathy293I am only on the lowly PS4 so that is about the lastest update I have, and 100% yes it was so useful for those missions
@@DanStaalI did not know that. Neat
@@davidchristie6003 We all start somewhere. I did my first playthrough on PS4, now I'm starting my first Phantom Liberty playthrough. To be honest, I kinda miss the old perks.
0:38 "Is there anything this t-shirt cant do?"
I'm going with 'Fit Properly'...
Ooohhh, that's what Majora Mask is about? I want to play it now
Metal Gear Solid V's chicken hat is one of the most outrageous peices of gear that the player can "earn" in any MGS game. You earn it by repeatedly failing missions. If you dare to wear it, enemies won't notice you sneaking around. Just you and Kojima will know of your walk of shame.
I'm surprised you didn't mention Final Fantasy X-2, which bases its entire class mechanic around strange attires.
What was the most powerful outfit in the entire game? Mascot. Nothing says "I am the hero of Spira, destroyer of Sin, and now I'm going to kick your ass!" like a giant moogle costume.
Can't help but think of any number of the goofy costumes available via password in Fantasy Life for 3DS. The flufkin suit boosting friendship rates for streetpass visitors, allowing you to get the potentially game changing items they can bring into your world much quicker, or the frilly costumes, or the santa costume. At least Yuellia's robe looks awesome no matter what for being the single best clothing item all around.
7:30 Mike is a 40K Ork, confirmed.
Cloud’s woman’s garments? It’s required and especially on the Playstation One looks ridiculous.
Fallout 3’s Naughty Nightwear. Luck and speech boost.
Dead Rising 4’s Jill Valentine Arcade outfit. Frank looks ridiculous, but has guns and a rocket launcher.
The bunny hood is cute af, I wore it around OoT too even if it didn't do anything.
Also I believe the radiant armor from BotW but more specifically from TotK. The radiant armor looks like some weird glow in the dark skeleton luchador costume, but it lets you blend in with staal enemies and boosts attack with bone weapons. The attack boost is more prominent in TotK because you can fuse a bone item, like the molduga jawbone, to an already powerful weapon and get a huge boost to its damage.
Oblivion Shivering isle saints and seducers armors.
WARHAMMER40K ORKS:"RED THING GO FASTER!!"
14:00 i recognize a jojo reference when i see one. that's the stone mask from part 1 and 2 of jojo's bizarre adventure. it turns people into vampires, a fitting reference for a game like that.
THE MONKEY MASK CLIPPING THROUGH THE BINOCULARS ACTUALLY PUT ME IN TEARS
The funny part about the Mario Kart example is that those are actually my favorite vehicles in the game, even without knowing their secret. Partially because I picked it as a joke at first, my youngest brother gloated that I could never win on them, and then I proceeded to dominate and only use the Mr. Scooty and BiddyBuggy whenever I race in Mario Kart 8 from that point on, just to make a point. Knowing that they're actually busted is just a hilarious cherry on top now.
0:41 whenever I hear this piano riff I think of a cat from an old cartoon playing the piano standing up and animatedly tapping their foot
2:34 "You cold?"
"A bit, but the stats are worth it!"
Mr. Scooty is my favorite vehicle in Mario Kart! 😂 Then again, I'm also prone to picking the "baby" characters, so. There might be a theme there.
2:38 - 2:50 is the kind of writing that should be enscribed upon a gold disc and sent on Voyager 3 to the cosmos as the best mankind can do. Whomever wrote that line, put your feet up, have a glass of wine, live your best life. You deserve it.
First time playing Fallout 4, I had my first heart to heart with Father wearing the Mechanist's Helmet.
The appearance of gear in Miitopia has no correlation to the stats. One of the thief’s daggers is a fish with a higher attack stat than several knives. However, there is the option to only equip stats when buying a new item or to edit your gear’s appearance to any item you’ve previously bought (within a Mii’s class).
When Snake peaked around that tree with the mask on
😂😂😂😂💀