He doesn't, actually. What he's talking about are hermaphrodite animals (and I say animals because when you use the word hermaphrodite speaking of humans it means intersex, while when you use it speaking of animals it refers to their ability to impregnate themselves). Asexuality is a completely different thing.
Onece a pon a tiem There was a turtle how lived inside a big big cave And had no family It had a hard shell It was MY turtle In the cave it had a dark cave too [M: CAVECEPTION:] It was too dark you cold-ent see becase the turtle was too small It was smalla than a bug The turtle laid an egg Today or tomorrow it had a bomb on it and it blowed up The end. reminders it takes a dark turn towards the end
Luke is literally being ignored the WHOLE TIME and being interrupted when he tries to talk and he's just sitting over there silently laughing to himself and I feel SO BAD
So cute I can't. I want smalla than a bug tattooed somewhere on my person. Also can we talk about how amazing Michael's Caveception comment is?? And they just blow past it.
Onece a pon a time There was a turtle how lived inside a big big cave and had no family. It had A hard shell and it was my turtle In the Cave it had a dark Cave too. It was too dark you coldent see Because the turtle was too small it was Smalla than a bug The turtle Lade an egg. Today or tomorrow It had a bom on it and it blowd up The end
So Ashton knows the right word to impregnate yourself and huge ass words that I don't even know the meaning of yet he says Tadpoles are baby turtles *claps hands* Wow
Yall realized Harry beside Ashton and everything but did anyone realize the interviewer shushes Ashton a few times? 😂😂 and Lukes face when Ashton got shushed the first time?
6 year old Calum knew that turtles laid eggs yet 20 year old Ashton thought they had tadpoles
Don't forget Ashton also thought the were mosquitos
+Blaise chabot "dammit, they're mosquitos, aren't they?"
+I love one direction, ella eyre and 5sos YOU ATE YOUR BABIES?!
78698 points for your username
Lmao
Luke is me. He said "I saw the tweet but I didn't read it because it was too long"
lmao
MY CHANCES WITH CALUM IS SMALLA THEN A BUG
Oh my god saaammeeee
Omg sandrine
You nyoob.
You nyoob.
Ily
this is 100% accurate
My chances with Calum are smalla than a bacterium.
卌 AdriannaRase 卌 ikrrr
5sos: When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
Me: The Turtle Poem
Yassss 😂🤣
😂
I did the twist your mind with 1.3k to 1.4k hehehehe
😂😂😂😂
"I saw this on Twitter but I didn't read it because it was too long" - Luke Hemmings
me
6 yr old calum was dark af
Ikr lol
ikr 😂
like he said he was in a really bad place
Unicorn Party he was???
Ohhhh nvm sorry 😂
how the hell does ashton know what asexual means but he thinks that tadpoles are baby turtles??
ikr 😂
the thing is he doesnt know what asexual means....his 'definition' was completely wrong
He doesn't, actually. What he's talking about are hermaphrodite animals (and I say animals because when you use the word hermaphrodite speaking of humans it means intersex, while when you use it speaking of animals it refers to their ability to impregnate themselves).
Asexuality is a completely different thing.
Angie Stylinson same tbh same
I thought tadpoles were baby turtles
Better than my English essay
So tru I cri evrytim
abby o regan saim
Ellie Louise u gurls r funy
+Ellie Louise Same ,Same
Smae
michael: Its like cave seption
caveception
😂
haha my fave line
If they don't turn this into a song i'm going to be deeply disappointed.
I would be too i hope they do
it would be so punk rock
+alison W OMG ZAYN
Still waiting.....
they still didn't
Onece a pon a tiem
There was a turtle how lived inside a big big cave
And had no family
It had a hard shell
It was MY turtle
In the cave it had a dark cave too [M: CAVECEPTION:]
It was too dark you cold-ent see becase the turtle was too small
It was smalla than a bug
The turtle laid an egg
Today or tomorrow it had a bomb on it and it blowed up
The end.
reminders
it takes a dark turn towards the end
Omg the hard shell sounds so wrong and the fact that it said it was my turtle sounds even more wrong
Elizabeth Donnelly oh my god hahahAaaa
I'm crying
*bom
alexis l. Iiiii
What the hell 6-years-old-Calum?? 😂😂
Imagine this story was actually written when he was 17 but they are just covering it up by saying he wrote it at the age of 6. Lol
That's probably the true story bruh
+Jennie Pangalilingan (j-ann) PLOT TWIST
Omg yessssss
I wouldn't be surprised
"I was in a bad place"
This poem is still better written than worth it by 5h
lmao obvi also because its Calum like duh
OMFG obviously
YAS
truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue
true af ❤😂😂
Luke is literally being ignored the WHOLE TIME and being interrupted when he tries to talk and he's just sitting over there silently laughing to himself and I feel SO BAD
+EmForever.308 i know right!
Awww :(
Because its Calum moment 😂
EmForever.308 My poor kid.
Ahaha imagine kindergarten Calum writing this
And he was so happy he showed his teacher and his parents and sister
yes
actually I think he would have been in year 1 HAHA
You mean prep...unless he stayed back a year
Snow Dust what's prep?
I'm going to read this to my kids
me too hahhaa
Me too 😂😂 X
it's going to be my children's bedtime story
definitely^^😂
No I'm gonna be like "look kids that's a poem that your dad wrote when he was 6!"😂
WTF HE ACTUALLY WROTE VERY WELL FOR A 6 YEAR OLD WHEN I WAS 6 WE WERE STILL GOING OVER HOW TO WRITE SIMPLE WORDS
I was still learned how to spell things like and, to, thing, do
I found a letter I wrote to my 12 year old self and I was honestly surprised at how dark I was when I was six.
We were learning about ABC's
true!!!
true!!! yah know he's actually brilliant
back when calum was smalla than a bug, he wrote this
then a bug*
the chances that a 5sosfam won't laugh at this are smalla than a bug
I see harry. And this poem, is a lesson for him.
Don't quit school, child.
My names Fatima. Oh
I just realised that this comment doesn't even make sense. He wrote it when he was six lol
I don't see him
a username with no regrets 0w0 for all ppl that don't know harry irwin is ashton's little brother who is 11 and hes in the back of calum lol
+hillyy s its hard to see him cause hes smalla than a bug :D
0:59 luke is losing it i'm laughing so hard
They should write a song based on this poem. 😂😉
+Angelique Sidir true
You blow me up
It's like a broken shellll saying that smalla
+Melissa Lester (Yandere) omg yaaasss
my turtles tiny and it lives in a cave
the cave was huge and it also had a cave
it's kinda big tho, yeah its kind big tho
Lauren bahaha hahahaha
So cute I can't. I want smalla than a bug tattooed somewhere on my person.
Also can we talk about how amazing Michael's Caveception comment is?? And they just blow past it.
I'm totally kidding, haha. xD I just had to make that comment, i'm sorry. And I agree completely.
::blood:: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Omg. I'm not a dude but that made me laugh.
BombWarning I'm glad :D
but can we tALK ABOUT WHEN MIKEYS VOICES CRACKED I CANT
Mimi likes 5sos ok lets talk about how our baby mikeys voice fucking cracked annnnd gurrrl I CANT EITHER
That was angus who's voice broke Mikey was just laughing
When Calum tweeted it I found it funny enough, but him actually reading it is bloody hilarious, jfc
"blown the egg up" = me dying
ANYONE ELSE BESIDES ME SAW THE HEAD OF THE BROTHER OF ASHTON HARRY?!
I SAW IT!!!!
What time haha
Is his head the whole time, he is crouched next to Ash ...
YEP I SEE IT
How do you get the 5 tally next to your name?
Calum at 0:50 and the way he said turtle 🐢🥺🥺
ITS LIKE CAVECEPTION haha omg michael
Obviously this is going to be a new song..
Just imagine: 'Turtle Bomb'
as a calum girl, i wonder what he meant by "i was in a bad place"..I REALLY CARE FOR HIM
Lekha Chunduri I think it was a joke
The fact that 6 year old Calum knew that turtles laid eggs and Ashton at 20 though they had tadpoles
Children this is why we finish school 😂
Onece a pon a time
There was a turtle how lived inside a big big cave and had no family. It had
A hard shell and it was my turtle In the Cave it had a dark Cave too. It was too dark you coldent see
Because the turtle was too small it was
Smalla than a bug The turtle Lade an egg. Today or tomorrow
It had a bom on it and it blowd up
The end
awesome poem!
It's becase , not because
@try me bitch ??????
i love how you can just see Harry's head poking up every now and then
6 year old calum is literally me when its 3:00 am and I haven't started an essay that's due tomorrow.
ash is like an english teacher looking into the deeper meaning of the poem
In the cave, it had a dark cave, too.
That doesn't even make sense. HAHAHA I love you Calum :D
0:21 Luke: "I saw this tweet and didnt read it cause it was too long"
144 characters?
stay in school kids :)
ashtoN KNOWS WHAT ASEXUAL IS BUT THOUGHT THAT TADPOLES WERE BABY TURTLES
us as fans: imagining calum writes cute poetry and sweet love letters
calum irl:
Thid should be animated
leave it to oh-hemmoh
if you search calum hood turtle poem and click on a video with an animated turtle in it you will find a vid. sorry I can't explain
i came back to this after 1 year
my comment was disgusting
i wAs sIx
he sounds so pissed oh my god he's me XD
Cal : "And had no family."
Ash : "dArK! sO DaRK!"
*Ashton definitely me.*
"Its like carvception" That is genius.
I think we've just discovered the next William Shakespeare
My little baby wrote a poem I'm so proud ❤️💟👀
its better than anything i ever wrote in high school tbh
this is going to be my children's bed time story.
A story about a turtle in a dark cave blowing its egg up? Fam, you'll be a great mom 😂👏🏼
2002 calum is the best calum HAHAHAHAHA
SMALLA THEN A BUG & CAVE THAT HAD DARK CAVE TOO I S2G THIS POEM
If I ever have an essay on turtles due for whatever reason, i'm just going to plaigiarize Calum's poem. ;) A+ for sure.
I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING HIS POEM MADE MY WHOLE YEAR TBFH
I NEED TO MEMORIZE THIS JUST INCASE OUR SCIENCE TEACHER TOLD US TO MAKE A POEM
Calum is just adorable 😂😍😍
Absolutely beautiful. I'm tearing up
LUKE IM DIEING
"I saw this tweet but I didn't read it because it was too long."
He is my spirit animal
This isn’t a poem, it’s a lifestyle
They all have such beautiful smiles❤️
So beautiful. *wipes tear*
This just made Calum 10 million times cuter
"it was my turtle" he's still so adorable
(0:45)wth don't sush Ashton! Jesus, the nerve of some people
this really spoke to me and it brought tears to my eyes
still a better story than twilight.
Luke is me. "I saw this tweet and I didn't read it because it was too long."
That was spiritually enlightening. Thank you, Calum.
"it was my turtle."
you claim that turtle, Calum!
I was actually choking from laughing 😂😂😂😂😂❤❤
who just listens to calum's voice as background music...
I love him so much ♥️♥️
BEST POEM EVER . I am watching it again , and again .
Guys this is how serial killers start!!
DOES ANYONE OTHER THAN ME THINK THAT WHEN HE SAYS ITS MY TURTLE HE LOOKS CUTE ASF
I always find this in my recommend and I'm not even disappointed
I love Calum so much
Ashton: SO DARK!
Interviewer: Shhhhhhhhh!!!
Me: Gurl, Hold my urrings!
Ashton looks SO good in this omg
This was so beautiful :')
So Ashton knows the right word to impregnate yourself and huge ass words that I don't even know the meaning of yet he says Tadpoles are baby turtles *claps hands*
Wow
+Katie Hood actually asexual doesn't mean you can impregnate yourself it's still the same old ashton
Technically asexual reproduction is kinda like impregnating your self because you just basically make a clone of yourself
Smalla than a bug.. x'D
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING ON THE INTERNET
A real masterpiece.
it's been almost two years and this is still one of the best things that has ever happened to me
I watched this to many times
This made me laugh so hard, made my day...thank you Calum for that amazing story haha
I still love him
i missssssss this somuch holys hitttt
Calum : It had no family
Also Calum : It was MY turtle!
Yall realized Harry beside Ashton and everything but did anyone realize the interviewer shushes Ashton a few times? 😂😂 and Lukes face when Ashton got shushed the first time?
1:24
oh god
OMG KILL ME
mOIKEYY DAMMIT
NO I'M REALLY NOT FINE AT ALL
Reasons I love Cal
love this video wayyy more that I should've
i've watched this approximately 17 times and i have yet to get sick of it
I love this.
the amount of times i have replayed this
Calum was getting buff here but he still looked like his baby self
PAUSE THE VIDEO AT 1:36
Poor Luek. Calum babe could you just calm down a little.
I thought I was the only one the did that
Forever my favourite video
The way Calum says "I WAS SIX" will forever be my favourite part in this video.. Cute angry Calum😍