I realized I was lesbian, when I was dating a guy, but had feelings for one of the girls in my art class. Dating him didn't feel right. I later broke up with him, and told the girl I had feelings for, that I was lesbian and I had feelings for her. She told me that she was lesbian too, and she had feelings for me too. We are still together 😊
I had a professor who described it as "sex is something you do, not who you are." I really liked the way he explained not putting so much pressure on figuring out if you're one thing or another
I definitely have had crushes on girls, they come a little slower and they develop more than my boy crushes. It's hard for me to believe it because a lot of people will say "well you haven't dated a girl" or "you've never kissed a girl before so how would you know?". My feelings for girls have always been valid even if I've never dated/kissed a girl. Happy pride month Grid (and everyone else)! 🌈
Starr y Same for me, but I've never dated or kissed anyone yet. It's ok to judge based on your feelings alone. Like Ingrid said, you decide who you are, when you figure that out. People who understand that shouldn't have a problem with who you end up deciding you are.
i find crushes on girls are a lot more emotionally rooted and it needs to be someone i know fairly well, however crushes on guys can be as straightforward as a stranger who looks hot/does something cute in my vicinity. Not that the relationships that blossom from either of these are deeper/different in any way (it depends on the person, obviously), simply how quickly they start off.
I identified as gay for over a year before I recently kissed a girl for the first time. Everyone always doubted me because I'm a femme lesbian. However, the kiss was like fireworks and definitely worth the wait. You'll get your kiss soon
I loved this video so much. I was married to a Man for 13 years & was never truly happy. I just did what I was raised to do & what was "the norm". I'm now 36 years old, divorced & dating an amazing Woman who has taught me what real love is. I've never been happier & have never had anything in my life feel so right. I'm finally living my truth.
I’m bi, and I’m dating this guy right now, and I had my first kiss with him (and my first kiss ever) this weekend. But it wasn’t everything I thought it would be. It wasn’t even great. It feels like something I’m forcing myself to do. Maybe I wasn’t ready or maybe I’m totally gay. Anyone experience something similar? Edit: OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THIS COMMENT!!! Update, I’m gay 😂😂 (April 15th 2020 just in case you were wondering)
Back in my teens when I was so deep in the closet I was basically chillin' with Aslan, I forced myself to have crushes on boys, because a girl "should be" gaga over boys, right? So now, I'm turning twenty on the 28th, and even after being out as a lesbian for over a year people still say to me: "Yeah, but remember when you did this with a boy?" or "OK but you definitely was obsessed with this boy" and I just... think it's so effing rude of them to say that?? It's like they're trying to invalidate my sexuality? It doesn't matter what I did when I was a teenager, or who I said I liked, because that's not NOW. NOW, I have been in a relationship with the girl of my dreams for 3 years and counting, THAT'S what matters. I need people to step off...
Two of my best friends both came out as gay, one of whom I had dated. They seemed pretty girl-crazy, but the thing is... They were always interested in the same girls. They were just playing the part they were expected to and looking to each other for cues without knowing what was really going on. For a long time, I couldn't let go of my crush on my friend. But straight or not, people change over time and learn things about themselves they didn't know before. It's important to respect the fact that everyone changes over time.
I have really horrible H-OCD (an OCD where you obsess over your sexual orientation) & just hearing you say that a person isn't locked into any identity/there's no way of knowing with certainty helped my OCD so so much. I'm probably not the target audience but I appreciate it sm 🥺💞
I'm straight, but found this video so refreshing. As you talked about labels and how you change throughout your life, I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders. I don't have to stay the same my entire life. I can change. It's okay. Thank you, Ingrid.
If you're attracted sexually only to men, you won't suddenly start feeling sexual attraction to women. Studies show that the only "change" that could occur is change in identity, not sexuality. Ingrid talks about this stuff because she already said that she's attracted to men too. And as the research on sexual minority women shows that's the only kind of lesbian-identified women who drop lesbian label and change their identity - women who were never exclusively sexually attracted to women.
Anna Gan You missed my point. I wasn't referring to sexuality. The weight lifting off my shoulders has to do with being me, and not worrying about what other people think. It doesn't necessarily correlate to my sexuality. It's another aspect of my life you're unaware of.
i know im not gay, but i love to watch your videos and other youtubers that address this topic since it helps not only other lgbt individuals, but people like me who want to understand others perspectives
I agree. I am totally straight 100% but I clicked on this video so I can get an understand of others who are. Understanding each other instead of judging each other is what the world needs.
@@user-so3yw8tr1x Um don't try to force yourself too much...Try being with another guy or a girl; if you're not comfortable with your opposite gender partner then you surely are gay....Also if you're gay, I'd suggest you to come out as bi, some ppl might accept you more than if you say I'm gay...But the best solution is to openly say Whatever sexuality you belong to, if you're gay there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and to all the ppl who think of you differently, just tell them to mind their own business..
@@vegasapologist3181 yes, the tip about being with other girls makes me more gay, im gay which means i like men but i act 10x more gay around girls, and a few people are suspecting something... and you're right about being Bi because you still like the opposite gender but i always look forward to the boys and not both. Being gay is something you should be aware of, there is oppression, you're gonna have to have the talk with your parents, some people you know might be homophobic and you'll be treated differently. I need help quick because one more year left for high-school and thats when they get really pushy about you finding a partner with your opposite gender...
I asked myself many times if i was gay or bi... but then i asked myself "would it change anything?" I feel like we are so desperate to put a label on ourselfs. Everybody thinks that we need to identify as something instead of just being ourselfs.... i don't label myself as anything... because i don't know what happens in the future
Helvetica09 That's exactly how I feel. I don't know what my sexuality is (I've always said I'm straight, but then again, I've never had a real crush on anyone - boy or girl), so I think it's definitely easier to refrain from putting a label on yourself and be open to anything that might happen in the future.
Same! I totally agree with you! I always just say I'm gay because I felt like labelling myself as a lesbian is really constricting and it really just makes it easier for other people but limiting for myself.
i agree, im basically in the same situation. labels help some people but sometimes they can be confining. we're always changing so my sexuality might change too.
How do you "defiantly" like them? That would mean you only like them to piss off your parents or something. If you're certain you like them, then you mean you *definitely* like them.
Malvavisco Sexuality is a difficult thing. For 2 years I was denying that I was looking at girls, thinking about girls/crushes and shit like that and hen someone would say to me “Are you gay” my immediate response was No. a few months ago I was really thinking about it since I was becoming more mature and I remember the night that the thoughts were just overwhelming me and I woke up in tears and having a full on panic attack. From then on I knew I did have an attraction to girls but I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I was gay so I kept it in my mind that I was Bisexual and I also told a few friends that I was bi. But from then on I was constantly thinking to myself about certain situations I would be in if I ever encountered a girl or a guy and the more I thought about it the more that I wouldn’t really give a shit about the guy stuff. I still wasn’t sure so I locked that away for a couple more months before (and coincidentally) ended up watching a rather erotic lesbian film with my friends and the feelings I was getting were just waves of enjoyment I guess lol (in other words it turned me on a lot). And a couple weeks after that I had enough courage to say it to myself In the mirror, that I was gay. I told my mother and she was very accepting but unfortunately went and told her friends when I specifically told her not to. I still haven’t sucked up enough courage to tell my friends because teenagers judge but I will tell them soon. I know people didn’t ask for a life story but this was my coming out and I really want to share it with people that struggle with their sexuality. You’re loved no matter what and no one should judge you for WHO YOU ARE. ❤️
I’m still questioning but I just can’t imagine myself kissing a guy but I can imagine myself kissing a girl- what does that mean? Edit: ey so um quarantine made me realize that I’m a big fat lesbian
Same. Like I probs think about this everyday like people do ask themselves if they r gay but like every single person in world actually asks themselves that but a lot of people aren't. Like even though I'm straight but it's an interesting topic to talk about.
im a girl, and i know i like girls... but i'm not sure if i like boys or not. i fantasize about boys & would have sex with boys.. but i cant see myself actually in a relationship with one, though i have in the past. maybe its heteronormativity? or maybe i'm just bi? maybe i'm resisting the label bi so much because of internalized biphobia? and the fact that.. i really don't want to like boys. am i the only one who feels like this???
usually if you can't see yourself in a relationship with guys/you don't want to like guys then you very possibly are a lesbian. my friend and i were discussing this (we're both gay) and we both feel this way sometimes but grew up in conservative places and have come to the conclusion that it's both society and internalized homophobia. honestly, there's no way to tell 100% what your sexuality is but maybe try saying "im gay" out loud, and see if it sounds right to you.
@@wreningber usually if you can't see yourself in a relationship with guys/you don't want to like guys then you very possibly are a lesbian. my friend and i were discussing this (we're both gay) and we both feel this way sometimes but grew up in conservative places and have come to the conclusion that it's both society and internalized homophobia. honestly, there's no way to tell 100% what your sexuality is but maybe try saying "im gay" out loud, and see if it sounds right to you.
aleigha thompson i've been questioning for 4 years now. at first i just thought i was gay, until i got sexual feelings towards guys too… kinda. i would have sex with one, but i don't find abs or a sharp jawline particularly attractive. maybe that means i'm just not picky and it's mainly about their personality? but i feel like i wouldn't be that comfortable dating one… maybe i don't like guys at all. maybe i just like then as friends. so maybe i am gay. it's just so confusing what the fuck is happening with my life ugh
Sounds like your homosexual+romantic and heteroromantic meaning you only want to have sex and be with the same gender but find the opposite gender attractive
I am straight and I wanted to watch this out of curiosity. I never realized how much I don't have to worry or stress because I am straight. I can see why people who are not straight hang out a lot because they relate to each other with this mental battle.
CEXEBLY1 you know that people don’t just become lesbians, if she ever goes to far and discovers she can’t do it or doesn’t like it, she can and will stop or at least don’t repeat. Especially when the more accepted sexuality is heterosexuality, the repercussions for that decision will be lesser than the other way around. And just in case, I’m not 14.
I honestly would disagree for the majority of people, and I think saying sexuality can change can open up a pandora box of homophobia! It also seems to me like bisexuality can be fluid, but not so much heterosexuality or homosexuality.
Me when I don't want to come out to my friends by talking. *wears rainbow hat wears a shirt with gay pride on it and holds a sign saying i'm gay* *my friends look at me* My friends "Sooooo you're gay" Me "how... What gave it away?" My friends "You're personality" Me (Just dies)
I wear a rainbow badge everyday to school everyone asks are you gay or have you came out yet and I’m really scared to just be myself and my sisters always say your gay or are you bi and my mum laughs and says it’s fine you know and I just feel like saying I don’t know my sexuality and is there a problem
I am find comfort in being with my guy best friends, I am a guy, and I think I've developed feelings for one of my friends AAAAAAAAAAA what's happening my religion doesnt accept this please help what shall I do help
Here, have some tips: -YOUR SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE. If you've had sex or kissed a man before, but are now only attracted to girls, don't be pushed into calling yourself bisexual if you're not. -Please don't be transphobic -COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY is when you are compelled to date the "opposite" gender. You may not have actual feelings for them, but you think to yourself, "I'll find the right one. / My feelings will come. / I can survive a relationship with the opposite gender." since you do not "believe" that you could be gay. (Thanks hannah ッ for adding, I developed it a bit, if you don't mind.) -Relationships are not about surviving. It's about enjoying being with a person. -You are loved.
addict_with_a_tyjo_and_jish with that said, it doesn't mean that expiriences their sexuality the same - for some people it is more fluid and the preferences fluctuate over time
Your sexuality CANNOT change!! But overtime you can find out and understand more about your sexuality. You could become confused some times in your life and do some experiments but as you get older, you become more of who you already/truly are. Things like styles and hobbies can change but DEFINITELY NOT your sexuality. I mean I would love to turn gay or at least bisexual because I just think girls are way less intimidating than boys but that's not the case. I just love dicks and I can't change that.
You have no idea how much I appreciate this video, Ingrid. I've been working on coming out to myself as bisexual and I think I'm almost ready to tell my parents. I really needed this.
Ella Medeiros yes, i was there too, and she helped me a lot, Ingrid has this amazing way of comforting, please, hang in there, give yoursslf time and credit, you're brave and wonderful, cheer up!😁😁😁
Ella Medeiros I'm in the same situation, and I really don't know what to do... cause even if I accept myself, it is going to be really hard if I decide to tell others
Watching this as someone struggling to find a label. I love boys and feel comfortable dating them/being with them. However, I do find myself being very sexually attracted to girls. To the point where if I’m single I have no inkling to lay down and think about a boy (in that way), I only seem to get sexually attracted to a guy if I’m dating them and have feelings for them. Whereas girls it’s kinda just a natural sexual attraction. Sorry if TMI but it bugs me a lot because I don’t feel like a lesbian as I know my romantic feelings for boys are very real and the sexual attraction to them when I’m dating them is real. Can anyone relate or do I just need to create a new label for myself 😂
The “obvious “ label is bisexual, but if you don’t feel like it fits don’t use it. Gaby Dunn talks about how you can have different attractions for sex and for romance. It might be helpful to separate them in your mind and not try to cram it all into one label.
iiam CÀŁƏB I am mostly attracted by girls and think they are way more sexual appealing for me than boys. But I am in a relationship with a boy atm and I am really happy with him even though I might be interested more in girls. That's why I define myself bisexual. You dont have to like both the same way and that took me soooo long to understand!
It's just an observation but this always seems to be among the top comments when the video only says gay, and female channel never male one, unless the male one says bi in the title, huh... Just felt like pointing that cause of how often I see it. Also it seems it's always the women in relationship with men that get the most likes while the bi women in relationships with women get ignored or never speak up.
I've liked girls my entire life (but there was a weird couple of years where I pretended to be "boy crazy") and it still took me 15 years to finally accept that I'm gay. There really is no specific way to tell... growing up, most people just want to fit in which definitely gets confusing when you're lgbt+ and trying to figure yourself out. I would just encourage anyone who's unsure of their sexuality/gender to explore and be really open to new experiences. You will find yourself ❤🌈
I've had crushes on boys all my life but ended up falling for a girl and dating her. She was my first kiss, first relationship, first everything really. I've never dated boys but I've never liked girls prior to meeting her either so I don't know where that would place me but I just consider myself bisexual and I'm happy with that identity.
That is fine. I m confused about my sexuality i like to date both girls and cute effeminate boys. I am also some effeminate boy. I dont know what to do in life.
How did i know i was gay? I was in mcdonalds and i see this boy walk in (about the same age as me) and i immediately stand up straight take my hood off style my hair and try to make myself look nice, is that gay panic?
i need help... so you know when you're a teenager you go through puberty and lots of emotions? i'm a female and i have started questioning my sexuality obviously, but i dont know if it's something to do with puberty and my hormones. i started having feelings for this one girl who is absolutely breathtaking and sweet. i haven't told anyone about my feelings for her nor have i ever really hung out with her. i always covered it up with a fake boy crush because i'm not ready to come out since i have just started making new friends and i'm already so close with many and i'm scared i might lose them because of my sexuality. this goes along with my family as well, they're christians, i am kind of, but i also am confused about the whole religion still. if you have any suggestions or anyways you could help me-please do. edit: ya’ll tysfm for the support in the replies (: i figured myself out, i’m a happy bisexual and i haven’t come out to my family yet but i soon will. also i’m 100% not christian, i have really changed over the years and i’m quite proud of myself
idk if this will help but im also 14 and i've also started questioning my sexuality... well, i haven't really liked any girls in real life but when i see a cute or edgy girl, I AM ATTRACTED. (its just usually girls in malls though) maybe you can come out to someone who is also a part of the lgbtq+ community? if you have friends with one of them?? well, honestly, i'm still questioning my sexuality and i haven't really called myself bi or lesbian nor have i ever come out of course but i did tell my bisexual friend that i was confused about my sexuality... i hope this helped?
Questioning your sexuality is OK, and im sure most teenagers would start wondering about their sexuality, especially around your age. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, it's never really worth it. As for coming out, straight people do not need to "come out" most of the time,, so neither do you. If your family is homophobic or does not approve of your identity, remember, they don't direct you, you direct you. You make your own choices, your own decisions, and your parents are there to guide you, not control you. If you lose friends because of your sexual identity, they may not be the best friends, because friends should value eachother as friends, not for their sexuality, skin tone, but for who they are. I hope this helped, I'm hoping the best for you!
Just be patient with yourself. It is going to take a long time but just remember you will eventually figure yourself out. I understand how frustrating it can be (trust me on that one), but i promise it will get better.
corey_darling remember that it’s okay to question yourself. i’ve known i was queer when i was 10, i’m 17 now but i still don’t have a definite label for myself. i like who i like, and if you don’t want to label yourself that’s perfectly fine. sometimes labels help, sometimes they’re stressful. my mind on my sexuality has definitely grown over the years, but going under the label queer was always my fall back when i’m too worried to be labeled a lesbian or bi or pan or whatever. also, my family is christian too, i am christian too and it’s been a journey with religion and sexuality. it’s definitely been hard but you’ll get through it! as long as you’re not hurting anybody, be who you are. tell your family when you KNOW you’re safe and when you’re ready. you’ll be okay, it’s okay to be confused but one day you’ll figure it out :)
I’m a boy and I’m 13 and I don’t have a crush but I think about boys and never girls and my friends are like “who’s ur crush, maybe ur asexual” and I don’t know but I think about having a girl crush I think like maybe she’s cute? Maybe she’s nice? But then I don’t have feelings for girls and I’m confused help And also I have a little crush on a friend but he’s straight so Help I’m confused
To really understand that I'm gay took lots of thinking. Like, a few years of thinking. I'm 17 and I've never dated anyone and I've never kissed anyone, so to figure these things out, I sort of just had to hypothesize and just think about what I wanted and what I didn't want. And after a long time, I realized I just was not attracted to guys.
All through elementary school I was like "nope! Not gay! I like dudes." But when I went into middle school I realized "fck, girls are *adorable* " and now I know I'm bi
I don't know I am bi or gay because it's confusing whenever I see a hot guy removing his shirt I am like dam 🤤 but on the other side I want to date a girl and sometimes also I don't feel like having relationship with boys it's just so confusing and stuff 😭
i almost cried when i saw this in my sub box because i questioned my sexuality a lot (and still do sometimes) and i'm so just happy that you're covering it
dAfoodie101 I was bisexual in 5th grade now am in 9th grade and girls like me, is that weird cause one am my friend that are girl said I always wanted a gay friend.
I had two long terms relationship with men, who I loved, but since I met my life partner, who is a woman, I can tell for a fact that I feel much more whole. The connection that I have with her is at a completely different level and I have no doubt anymore about what love is and I know that I am where I belong. But I loved boys and was attracted by them.. until I discovered how I feel with a girl! Everything is not white or black, and that is part of the beauty of love... when you feel true to yourself you can stop worrying about not fiting to a specific label.
I’m figuring out if I’m gay but the girl i have a crush on is my sisters BFF and the girl is gay and I think it would be uncomfortable for my sis if we did date.
I hope you did not date ur sisters friend- Think about it in ur situation, let’s say ur sis is gay and ur friend is too, if they start dating.... I’m out the door😂 I personally think it’ll be weird but that’s just what I think
I tbh can't tell if I'm bi or gay I asked my friend and she told me to not overthink it, it comes naturally as of rn I identify as straight but sometimes it's like these weird moments my friend has discussed how sometimes she thinks girls are hot but doesn't want a relationship that's when I realized hm yea I have those moments too idk why I commented this I just needed to get it off my chest and the fact this video came up while I was going through this just made me think like woah okay then
I Totally feel You. You dont need to stress about a label now cause Well, I thought I was bi For The longest time and a Year and a half later I Realized I was curious and Realized I was gay. IT Will come to You in time if u are I sexual or gay. Just dont stress too much :)
That's how I feel except I would love to try being in a relationship with another girl and I find other girls hot and the female body attractive but i've had like a billion crushes in my life and maybe 2 or 3 of them have been on women yet i've never dated another woman but none of my relationships with guys have worked sexually for me. So most of the time I see myself as 100% straight but other times I feel really curious about women and would love to go out with one and see where it leads i'm open to anything...
i knew one girl who thought that she was 100% gay, but then she fell in love with a boy, and she was really worried about. i'm sure there are a lot of gay people out there who have felt the attraction towards the opposite gender. and it's not this annoying thing that we're being told every single day, 'you're gay???? you just haven't found the right girl/boy yet!!' it's more about 'hey, as long as your label comforts you, it's totally cool. but if you ever change your mind or you'll accidentally find yourself liking someone else, it's absolutely normal. our sexuality is fluid and you shouldn't repress your feelings. at the end of the day, you are who you are'
I’m literally crying because she talks about so many feelings that I have and don’t know how to handle and this helped me start thinking about coming out
This is really helpful. I think I'm straight but girls are so pretty and more understanding than the guys I've met. Right now I'm more asexual because of the experiences in my past but that definitely can change.
When you already know you're gay, but you still watch this video just to be sure :) love you Ingrid! Wish I had this video when I was still questioning ♥
The best thing I've heard so far was something to the effect of; _How do you know if you're lesbian ... You clicked on a video about how to tell if you're lesbian._ It's a crass generalisation but it makes sense.
I still struggled with my sexuality as a straight woman. I dated a man who held over my head previous relationships that I had in college. He would gaslight me for having experimented with my sexuality and my MONOGAMOUS relationships before him. I allowed that abuse to go on for years in my early twenties before moving the fuck on. Now I'm in a healthy relationship with an understanding and sexually active man. Don't take abuse about your sexuality for one second, let alone five years. It can degrade your confidence and such lack of confidence can seep in to other big areas of your life. Thanks for this post, Ingrid!
Your coming out video came out (lol) around the time I was accepting that I was a lesbian and really helped me accept myself, so thank you, Ingrid, I love you ♥
Milly Packham why? I don't understand even if you don't believe in God what is it that makes you gay? No hate I'm just trying to understand. Because to me liking the same sex wanting to have sex with them is just lust not love. also sex with same gender has been shown scientifically unsafe. So help me understand why
I'm straight, but found this video so refreshing. As you talked about labels and how you change throughout your life, I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders. I don't have to stay the same my entire life. I can change. I think I'm ready to come out of my shell. I don't know how my parents or friends will react to me being gay but I think I'm finally brave enough to do it. Thank you, Ingrid. You changed my life.
Ingrid, you truly give great advice. As someone who also came out a bit later in life (I'm only 22, but it's still later than some people who come out in high school), I think it's so important for people of all ages to hear advice like this. I know that labels are really important to some people, and for me personally, I like the idea of labels BUT I'm still exploring my sexuality and learning who I'm attracted to. I KNOW that I'm attracted to women, so I like to use the word queer to describe myself because it kind of lets me be more fluid. To me it says "yeah, I'm not straight, but that's all you need to know about me". Thanks for doing these videos, they really help out a lot of people! That's just a few of my thoughts!
Skyler - it is never too late to explore any part of your identity, and only you can decide who you are, who you love, and how you identify. I was 31 before I was willing to admit to even myself that I am bi, and finally started dating someone who makes me happy. They were born female but identify as genderqueer with a slight slight leaning towards woman and we are happily engaged now. We have discovered that it doesnt matter what other people think and that they dont need to know any more details than we are willing to share as long as the 2 of us communicate and are happy together. Be you and be happy - thats all that matters.
it's honestly so hard to figure shit out lmao Im attracted to boys but I think I also like girls? I think girls can be so beautiful but I feel like it could also be more the feeling of 'I want to be her' instead of attraction. But i'm not sure? I think a relationship with a girl would be way easier because Im quite feminine and I like a lot of girly things and with a girl Im able to find more common ground. While with boys I sooner feel really anxious and different, i'm just not really good at interacting with them and I can't imagine telling a guy all my secrets or being with them a LOT? Since I also don't have a lot of male friends and I feel like im always closer with girls. I'm attracted to guys though. idk it's so confusing.
Well I feel Ya. For me I Realized I dont have sexual attracties to Guys and only to girls but Guys can be Pretty Cute sometimes but I just would never have sex with them Ya know...... Yeah sorry This is weird XD
Everyone I start to doubt if I'm actually gay, I just think back to all the times I would do nothing in art class because I was just staring at my art teacher the entire lesson like: ❤️👄❤️
i haven’t ever had a crush. i think people are attractive but never a crush or want to be with someone. two of my closest friends say that they wouldn’t be surprised if i was lesbian. i don’t think i am but when they asked me if i have ever liked someone i couldn’t answer...
Hello fellow confused person. I’m 17 and I’ve been in this situation for a while (4 years). The easiest way out of a conversation like that is either saying “idk” or “I’m not really interested right now”. If you ever get a crush or suddenly feel attracted to someone (like lady Gaga in her music videos) just go with it. Just don’t let anyone rush you or get you into anything. I know it is very ultra frustrating, but just keep going. And who knows, maybe with time you turn out to be lesbian, asexual, bi or other. Also, a lot of people discover their sexuality in high school or university, so do not rush.
HEY! WAIT! Hey hey hey hey you!! LISTEN!! AROMANTIC! And then there’s about a gazillion variants. A R O M A N T I C! Seriously, look it up. AROMANTIC!! Greyromantic? Lithromantic? NO IDEA! BUT I KNOW ONE THING: You can live life and.... NEVER DATE, and NEVER GET MARRIED. IT IS POSSIBLE. IT IS. AROMANTICS. ALSO: If you don’t really wanna label or whatever I know that feeling but still. Just. It’s okay to not want to be in any romantic relationships. YEA
I realised i was gay when i was dating this one girl and i just didnt really like her that much and i had a crush on this one guy who I still dont know if hes gay or not but i do have sneaking suspicion that hes gay and im going to tell him that im gay this week
How did it go? (Edit: I don't know if this is a good sentence... Probably not because English isn't my first language and I'm very bad at grammar and stuff so yeah... But please say it if something isn't good, because that will improve my English.)
I really think labels aren't important especially at a young age. sexuality and gender are both fluid because it's just about what you feel! I've kind of come to terms with the "bisexual" label for myself but honestly it's scary so I just let myself feel attracted to whoever without thinking about it!
Yes! I totally agree with you! I always just say I'm gay because I felt like labelling myself as a lesbian is really constricting and it really just makes it easier for other people but limiting for myself.
i had a crush on this girl and she liked me back but my best friend (who is a boy) also liked her and so instead of dating her, i said that i didnt want to date and i still like her, she ended up dating my best friend and he didnt do the same for me. We are not best friends anymore. But i found new best friends and a new girl friend who is so sweet. Everything works out everyone!
Hey Ingrid! 😊 I'm bi and it's very much because of you that I told my family. I love your videos and your coming out video gave me the confidence to say something. I figured if you could tell the whole freaking internet that I could tell my family. There are still a few people in my family I haven't told yet but I'll get to it someday. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for being the amazing woman that you are and for helping to empower me to be who I am. ❤️💛💚💙💜
I've been having a really hard time figuring out my sexuality lately... I couldn't help but cry throughout out this whole video because this was something I really needed to hear and found comfort in.. you've helped me lore than you could know, thank you so much Ingrid 🧡🖤💜
sHe is one of the biggest inspirations for doing youtube ! Thanks so much! Im now trying to contact her incase she needs music for her channel ! Im a DJ / producer, I make Tropical house / melodic house! Would be awesome if we could get her to take a listen ! :D could u vote this up so she might see !=) TY so much guys!
Thastor Your so stupidly pathetic it's hurtful,begging this Lesbian SJW for help,they don't help MEN! It's spineless pieces of shit like u that is giving power to these bitches,quit kissing ass that won't give u the time of day! THE SQUARE ROOT OF DOGSHIT STANDS 1 FOOT INFRONT YOUR MIRROR
Hi! I attend to a public high school and they do not teach us anything lgbtq+ related (sometimes they would mention gay families and gay couples but that is it). And as a result a lot of student are uneducated in anything LGBTQ+ so it is way harder for us to find our sexuality or identity. This can also make other students only knowing the a few LGBTQ+ identities (gay, lesbian and transgender). I think it is absolutely important to make sure students are educated in these topics and know that it is okay if you don't fit into a label and it is okay if you're scared, so I had an idea to write a letter to the school asking them/ persuading them/questioning them on why we should have LGBTQ+ education/ why don't we have LGBTQ+ education. I believe we shouldn't rely on teens running off to the internet and studying the LGBTQ+ community when most students don't even know what the LGBTQ+ Community is!! If you have anything you think is important that needs to be included in the letter please tell me. 💖💖
This might sound weird but how do you know you’re gay? I know I’m not fully gay but I kinda have an attraction towards women. Not in a way I want to be sexual with them necessarily, but I am extremely envious of other girls and think they’re so pretty and I want to look like them. I have body image issues so maybe it’s that? I have only dated men as a woman and I am extremely attracted to men. Maybe I am bisexual, and sexuality is on a spectrum? So weird.
I think I might like a girl from school.(btw I'm a girl) She has cute freckles, large, gorgeous eyes, and her coconut perfume, her funny, sweet personality, and OMG I HAVE A CRUSH ON A GIRL!
The thing is I'm 14 and I've never really thought about being gay at all. But suddenly it just came over me and I really think I am. I feel like I haven't thought about it much and I really don't know where to go from here.
i never thought about my sexuality I was always meh about it. then I heard the term asexual and I knew I was that. I just knew. but here's my advice for you guys out there who struggle with this whole sexual identity thing: don't let it be who you are. let it be a term, a thing, something like a name tag you can just rip off if you feel like it doesn't describe you as well as some other term you have learned about. I thought I was just straight, because I had no better term to describe myself. now I know that I'm ace and I'm proud. good luck in this game of life everyone, I hope you get a high score
I realized I was lesbian, when I was dating a guy, but had feelings for one of the girls in my art class. Dating him didn't feel right. I later broke up with him, and told the girl I had feelings for, that I was lesbian and I had feelings for her. She told me that she was lesbian too, and she had feelings for me too. We are still together 😊
Itchycat AJ Aww that's so sweettttttt
Itchycat AJ so cool 😊
it kinda sounds too good to be real xD
Weired
Y'all still together?
I had a professor who described it as "sex is something you do, not who you are." I really liked the way he explained not putting so much pressure on figuring out if you're one thing or another
Of course sex is something you do, you don't say "I am/you are sex"
Angie Animations she just meant it doesn't define you...
Angie Animations yea but a sex is is like boy and girl. Those are sexes. Sex is called inter course or sexual inter course
I love that your teacher even talks about it
I told my really religious brother im gay and and he pulled my ear and said “me too”
Awww...
💜
Aw! 💓
Aww 💜
Wow I wish this would happen for me
I definitely have had crushes on girls, they come a little slower and they develop more than my boy crushes. It's hard for me to believe it because a lot of people will say "well you haven't dated a girl" or "you've never kissed a girl before so how would you know?". My feelings for girls have always been valid even if I've never dated/kissed a girl. Happy pride month Grid (and everyone else)! 🌈
Starr y Same for me, but I've never dated or kissed anyone yet. It's ok to judge based on your feelings alone. Like Ingrid said, you decide who you are, when you figure that out. People who understand that shouldn't have a problem with who you end up deciding you are.
Starr y I've been bi my whole life but I never realized it until fairly recently because I thought that liking girls is normal.
i find crushes on girls are a lot more emotionally rooted and it needs to be someone i know fairly well, however crushes on guys can be as straightforward as a stranger who looks hot/does something cute in my vicinity. Not that the relationships that blossom from either of these are deeper/different in any way (it depends on the person, obviously), simply how quickly they start off.
I identified as gay for over a year before I recently kissed a girl for the first time. Everyone always doubted me because I'm a femme lesbian. However, the kiss was like fireworks and definitely worth the wait. You'll get your kiss soon
Starr y you're amazing and all your feelings are valid!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I loved this video so much. I was married to a Man for 13 years & was never truly happy. I just did what I was raised to do & what was "the norm". I'm now 36 years old, divorced & dating an amazing Woman who has taught me what real love is. I've never been happier & have never had anything in my life feel so right. I'm finally living my truth.
DeAnna Jones I’m happy for you
Awww!!! That’s amazing! 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I love this!!
I just told my dad that I'm gay, and he said he loves me!
Awwww that's amazing!!!!!!!
Thanks
i told my dad i was gay and he slapped the shit out of me
I'm so happy for you congratulations!!! So proud of you for being brave :)
peachy. jiminiee thanks peachy. Even though I had a breakdown when I told him.
The real question: *How to tell your parents.*
*tell them you were never their child*
That is so hard
you can do it it's easy just text them
Don't.
I send my mum the "girls" song by girl in red on Christmas eve on WhatsApp xD
How did I know I was gay?
Me: "Hey mom am I gay?"
Mom: "Oh HOOOOONEEEYYYYY"
Watts The Safeword haaa
if that's not a Trixie reference I'll be a sad gay
// J O R D Y N // uhnnnnnnnnnn
I wore the dress again, mother
*DAD peeks over from behind the newspapers sarcastically*
How to come out.
Go up to a close friend and say
"I like this closet its warm and safe"
This isnt a joke?
@@favscripts7680 Depends on how you want to come on
Your profile pic 😂
@@GatitoEZ I don't remember where I found that image honestly
But it’s Good
If you asked me if i was gay I couldn’t give you a ‘straight’ answer. 😏
Omg😂 i absolutely love your humour
NightHawkBassing lol
Heyyyyyy I made a video about how I realized and it may interest youuuuu
Ashley504 funny
Lol 😂
maybe you're born with it, maybe it's maybelline
munira 02340 omg 😂
munira 02340 no stop😂😂
munira 02340 holy moly 😂😂😂😂
munira 02340 maybe you're born win it, maybe it's gaybelline 😏
maybe it's gaybelline
I’m bi, and I’m dating this guy right now, and I had my first kiss with him (and my first kiss ever) this weekend. But it wasn’t everything I thought it would be. It wasn’t even great. It feels like something I’m forcing myself to do. Maybe I wasn’t ready or maybe I’m totally gay. Anyone experience something similar?
Edit: OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THIS COMMENT!!! Update, I’m gay 😂😂 (April 15th 2020 just in case you were wondering)
I had my first kiss in 2nd grade with a girl 😶
Avneet Singh 👍🏻 or 👎🏻
Kayz Pop 😂
Raly 0 👍🏽
Avneet Singh nice 😂👍🏻👍🏻
Back in my teens when I was so deep in the closet I was basically chillin' with Aslan, I forced myself to have crushes on boys, because a girl "should be" gaga over boys, right?
So now, I'm turning twenty on the 28th, and even after being out as a lesbian for over a year people still say to me:
"Yeah, but remember when you did this with a boy?" or "OK but you definitely was obsessed with this boy" and I just... think it's so effing rude of them to say that?? It's like they're trying to invalidate my sexuality?
It doesn't matter what I did when I was a teenager, or who I said I liked, because that's not NOW.
NOW, I have been in a relationship with the girl of my dreams for 3 years and counting, THAT'S what matters.
I need people to step off...
Two of my best friends both came out as gay, one of whom I had dated. They seemed pretty girl-crazy, but the thing is... They were always interested in the same girls. They were just playing the part they were expected to and looking to each other for cues without knowing what was really going on. For a long time, I couldn't let go of my crush on my friend. But straight or not, people change over time and learn things about themselves they didn't know before. It's important to respect the fact that everyone changes over time.
Omg same, I'm from Argentina
Basically chillin with Aslan...! I love it lmao
Hate people like that.
"I was so deep in the closet I was basically chillin' with Aslan"
Right now I have a crush on a straight girl! Who can relate
Michelle the Bear girl me too 🙋🏽🙋🏽
Michelle the Bear the entire gay community 😂
My live...😂😂
Ahhhh.... Over here but she is beeing so nice to me and I don't wanna tell her because then she might like, stop beeing nice??
haha yup! Been there done that.
I have really horrible H-OCD (an OCD where you obsess over your sexual orientation) & just hearing you say that a person isn't locked into any identity/there's no way of knowing with certainty helped my OCD so so much. I'm probably not the target audience but I appreciate it sm 🥺💞
I'm straight, but found this video so refreshing. As you talked about labels and how you change throughout your life, I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders. I don't have to stay the same my entire life. I can change. It's okay. Thank you, Ingrid.
If you're attracted sexually only to men, you won't suddenly start feeling sexual attraction to women. Studies show that the only "change" that could occur is change in identity, not sexuality. Ingrid talks about this stuff because she already said that she's attracted to men too. And as the research on sexual minority women shows that's the only kind of lesbian-identified women who drop lesbian label and change their identity - women who were never exclusively sexually attracted to women.
Anna Gan You missed my point. I wasn't referring to sexuality. The weight lifting off my shoulders has to do with being me, and not worrying about what other people think. It doesn't necessarily correlate to my sexuality. It's another aspect of my life you're unaware of.
Ann Gan lmao okay... i thought i was pretty straight for the last 15 years... and now im pretty sure im not.
i know im not gay, but i love to watch your videos and other youtubers that address this topic since it helps not only other lgbt individuals, but people like me who want to understand others perspectives
we need more people like you in the world.
I agree. I am totally straight 100% but I clicked on this video so I can get an understand of others who are. Understanding each other instead of judging each other is what the world needs.
Totally agree!
Sameeeee
Me too!
Interviewer: So, What inspired you to change you’re logo to the rainbow flag?
All companies: *money*
Bruh.. Can you turn straight? I'm gay but I really don't want to be... I'm scared please someone help
@@user-so3yw8tr1x Um don't try to force yourself too much...Try being with another guy or a girl; if you're not comfortable with your opposite gender partner then you surely are gay....Also if you're gay, I'd suggest you to come out as bi, some ppl might accept you more than if you say I'm gay...But the best solution is to openly say Whatever sexuality you belong to, if you're gay there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and to all the ppl who think of you differently, just tell them to mind their own business..
@@vegasapologist3181 yes, the tip about being with other girls makes me more gay, im gay which means i like men but i act 10x more gay around girls, and a few people are suspecting something... and you're right about being Bi because you still like the opposite gender but i always look forward to the boys and not both. Being gay is something you should be aware of, there is oppression, you're gonna have to have the talk with your parents, some people you know might be homophobic and you'll be treated differently. I need help quick because one more year left for high-school and thats when they get really pushy about you finding a partner with your opposite gender...
I asked myself many times if i was gay or bi... but then i asked myself "would it change anything?" I feel like we are so desperate to put a label on ourselfs. Everybody thinks that we need to identify as something instead of just being ourselfs.... i don't label myself as anything... because i don't know what happens in the future
Helvetica09 that describes exactly how i felt
Helvetica09 That's exactly how I feel. I don't know what my sexuality is (I've always said I'm straight, but then again, I've never had a real crush on anyone - boy or girl), so I think it's definitely easier to refrain from putting a label on yourself and be open to anything that might happen in the future.
Same! I totally agree with you! I always just say I'm gay because I felt like labelling myself as a lesbian is really constricting and it really just makes it easier for other people but limiting for myself.
i agree, im basically in the same situation. labels help some people but sometimes they can be confining. we're always changing so my sexuality might change too.
I'm bio curious I defiantly like girls but I'm not to sure if I like boys
Same here (I'm a girl)
10Millie10 Swift me too
How do you "defiantly" like them? That would mean you only like them to piss off your parents or something. If you're certain you like them, then you mean you *definitely* like them.
@@malvavisco10 lol just a mistake dude
Malvavisco Sexuality is a difficult thing. For 2 years I was denying that I was looking at girls, thinking about girls/crushes and shit like that and hen someone would say to me “Are you gay” my immediate response was No. a few months ago I was really thinking about it since I was becoming more mature and I remember the night that the thoughts were just overwhelming me and I woke up in tears and having a full on panic attack. From then on I knew I did have an attraction to girls but I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I was gay so I kept it in my mind that I was Bisexual and I also told a few friends that I was bi. But from then on I was constantly thinking to myself about certain situations I would be in if I ever encountered a girl or a guy and the more I thought about it the more that I wouldn’t really give a shit about the guy stuff. I still wasn’t sure so I locked that away for a couple more months before (and coincidentally) ended up watching a rather erotic lesbian film with my friends and the feelings I was getting were just waves of enjoyment I guess lol (in other words it turned me on a lot). And a couple weeks after that I had enough courage to say it to myself In the mirror, that I was gay. I told my mother and she was very accepting but unfortunately went and told her friends when I specifically told her not to. I still haven’t sucked up enough courage to tell my friends because teenagers judge but I will tell them soon. I know people didn’t ask for a life story but this was my coming out and I really want to share it with people that struggle with their sexuality. You’re loved no matter what and no one should judge you for WHO YOU ARE. ❤️
I’m still questioning but I just can’t imagine myself kissing a guy but I can imagine myself kissing a girl- what does that mean? Edit: ey so um quarantine made me realize that I’m a big fat lesbian
potatomarleen youre definitely a lesbian
it doesn't really mean anything. my suggestion would be to just keep an open mind and experiment
You’re a lesbian. That’s what that means.
This happens to me too
Anyone else who is not gay, but still interested in the topic?
Sofix Sove I am! it intrigues me.
Me! 🙋
Same. Like I probs think about this everyday like people do ask themselves if they r gay but like every single person in world actually asks themselves that but a lot of people aren't. Like even though I'm straight but it's an interesting topic to talk about.
Sofix Sove me
nope I'm hella gay lmao
im a girl, and i know i like girls... but i'm not sure if i like boys or not. i fantasize about boys & would have sex with boys.. but i cant see myself actually in a relationship with one, though i have in the past. maybe its heteronormativity? or maybe i'm just bi? maybe i'm resisting the label bi so much because of internalized biphobia? and the fact that.. i really don't want to like boys. am i the only one who feels like this???
aleigha thompson I feel exactly the same way wow, I have been questioning for 2 years now, and I feel like I haven’t made any progress..
usually if you can't see yourself in a relationship with guys/you don't want to like guys then you very possibly are a lesbian. my friend and i were discussing this (we're both gay) and we both feel this way sometimes but grew up in conservative places and have come to the conclusion that it's both society and internalized homophobia. honestly, there's no way to tell 100% what your sexuality is but maybe try saying "im gay" out loud, and see if it sounds right to you.
@@wreningber usually if you can't see yourself in a relationship with guys/you don't want to like guys then you very possibly are a lesbian. my friend and i were discussing this (we're both gay) and we both feel this way sometimes but grew up in conservative places and have come to the conclusion that it's both society and internalized homophobia. honestly, there's no way to tell 100% what your sexuality is but maybe try saying "im gay" out loud, and see if it sounds right to you.
aleigha thompson i've been questioning for 4 years now. at first i just thought i was gay, until i got sexual feelings towards guys too… kinda. i would have sex with one, but i don't find abs or a sharp jawline particularly attractive. maybe that means i'm just not picky and it's mainly about their personality? but i feel like i wouldn't be that comfortable dating one… maybe i don't like guys at all. maybe i just like then as friends. so maybe i am gay. it's just so confusing what the fuck is happening with my life ugh
Sounds like your homosexual+romantic and heteroromantic meaning you only want to have sex and be with the same gender but find the opposite gender attractive
“I feel like I’ve built my life up to be this thing and it’s just not who I am now”
This hits me hard right now
I am straight and I wanted to watch this out of curiosity. I never realized how much I don't have to worry or stress because I am straight. I can see why people who are not straight hang out a lot because they relate to each other with this mental battle.
On a completely different topic you're looking so happy and radiant today ☺️
Im still confused i dont know if i am gay...maybe i am 0_0
Omg I forgot about this comment lmao. Btw I have figured out I am gay now.
@@rakhoo5236 How u know😒
@@rakhoo5236 OK but do you know for sure or are you just talking out of your ass?
Gacha Life You don’t need to label
Same.
CEXEBLY1 you know that people don’t just become lesbians, if she ever goes to far and discovers she can’t do it or doesn’t like it, she can and will stop or at least don’t repeat.
Especially when the more accepted sexuality is heterosexuality, the repercussions for that decision will be lesser than the other way around.
And just in case, I’m not 14.
I think it's really important to know that sexuality can change and that's okay!!
I honestly would disagree for the majority of people, and I think saying sexuality can change can open up a pandora box of homophobia! It also seems to me like bisexuality can be fluid, but not so much heterosexuality or homosexuality.
Syntax I totally agree!
Me when I don't want to come out to my friends by talking.
*wears rainbow hat wears a shirt with gay pride on it and holds a sign saying i'm gay*
*my friends look at me*
My friends "Sooooo you're gay"
Me "how... What gave it away?"
My friends "You're personality"
Me (Just dies)
I wear a rainbow badge everyday to school everyone asks are you gay or have you came out yet and I’m really scared to just be myself and my sisters always say your gay or are you bi and my mum laughs and says it’s fine you know and I just feel like saying I don’t know my sexuality and is there a problem
@@idk_huh it's okay, you'll figure it out. There will always be someone who will accept you no matter who you are. Bi, gay, or the S-47 helicopter.
Your*
This is what I would do XD
Der Kleebaum It can also be you’re since that means you are
i don't know what i am, i'm just scared of boys.
Lol mood
Fat mood
Haha relatable... 😕
I am find comfort in being with my guy best friends, I am a guy, and I think I've developed feelings for one of my friends AAAAAAAAAAA what's happening my religion doesnt accept this please help what shall I do help
@@YUNG.CLOVER please just do what makes you happy
Here, have some tips:
-YOUR SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE. If you've had sex or kissed a man before, but are now only attracted to girls, don't be pushed into calling yourself bisexual if you're not.
-Please don't be transphobic
-COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY is when you are compelled to date the "opposite" gender. You may not have actual feelings for them, but you think to yourself, "I'll find the right one. / My feelings will come. / I can survive a relationship with the opposite gender." since you do not "believe" that you could be gay. (Thanks hannah ッ for adding, I developed it a bit, if you don't mind.)
-Relationships are not about surviving. It's about enjoying being with a person.
-You are loved.
+
Izy needed this, thank you!
+
addict_with_a_tyjo_and_jish with that said, it doesn't mean that expiriences their sexuality the same - for some people it is more fluid and the preferences fluctuate over time
Your sexuality CANNOT change!!
But overtime you can find out and understand more about your sexuality. You could become confused some times in your life and do some experiments but as you get older, you become more of who you already/truly are.
Things like styles and hobbies can change but DEFINITELY NOT your sexuality. I mean I would love to turn gay or at least bisexual because I just think girls are way less intimidating than boys but that's not the case. I just love dicks and I can't change that.
You have no idea how much I appreciate this video, Ingrid. I've been working on coming out to myself as bisexual and I think I'm almost ready to tell my parents. I really needed this.
charlie calmeckus you can do it I believe in you xxxx
I did it! I came out to my parents yesterday and it went even better than I could have imagined! :)
charlie calmeckus Hell yesss , congrats!! You're amazing and you deserve to be able to express whatever you feel! xxxx
charlie calmeckus dude I need help coming out give me support
WOW!!! That's so awesome Charlie!
As a middle schooler, this is HILARIOUS!
I came out to my best friend and he came out to me !!!!
Chief Kawaiiwolf THATS PERFECT
Chief Kawaiiwolf bff goals🤘🏻
BasicWhiteGirlPie yes!😜
Chief Kawaiiwolf goals lol
Helena Leite yes
This really helped me. I am still very unsure if I'm bisexual and I'm scared. But this helped me. Thank you.❤️
Ella Medeiros We love you, Ella!
Ella Medeiros yes, i was there too, and she helped me a lot, Ingrid has this amazing way of comforting, please, hang in there, give yoursslf time and credit, you're brave and wonderful, cheer up!😁😁😁
Ella Medeiros I'm so confused too still but this video helped me
Ella Medeiros I'm in the same situation, and I really don't know what to do... cause even if I accept myself, it is going to be really hard if I decide to tell others
Ella Medeiros me too... i'm sooo lost
Watching this as someone struggling to find a label. I love boys and feel comfortable dating them/being with them. However, I do find myself being very sexually attracted to girls. To the point where if I’m single I have no inkling to lay down and think about a boy (in that way), I only seem to get sexually attracted to a guy if I’m dating them and have feelings for them. Whereas girls it’s kinda just a natural sexual attraction. Sorry if TMI but it bugs me a lot because I don’t feel like a lesbian as I know my romantic feelings for boys are very real and the sexual attraction to them when I’m dating them is real. Can anyone relate or do I just need to create a new label for myself 😂
The “obvious “ label is bisexual, but if you don’t feel like it fits don’t use it. Gaby Dunn talks about how you can have different attractions for sex and for romance. It might be helpful to separate them in your mind and not try to cram it all into one label.
Where are all my bisexual squad at!? 👀
iiam CÀŁƏB AYYYYE
iiam CÀŁƏB I am mostly attracted by girls and think they are way more sexual appealing for me than boys. But I am in a relationship with a boy atm and I am really happy with him even though I might be interested more in girls. That's why I define myself bisexual. You dont have to like both the same way and that took me soooo long to understand!
iiam CÀŁƏB it meee
iiam CÀŁƏB meeee
It's just an observation but this always seems to be among the top comments when the video only says gay, and female channel never male one, unless the male one says bi in the title, huh... Just felt like pointing that cause of how often I see it.
Also it seems it's always the women in relationship with men that get the most likes while the bi women in relationships with women get ignored or never speak up.
I've liked girls my entire life (but there was a weird couple of years where I pretended to be "boy crazy") and it still took me 15 years to finally accept that I'm gay. There really is no specific way to tell... growing up, most people just want to fit in which definitely gets confusing when you're lgbt+ and trying to figure yourself out. I would just encourage anyone who's unsure of their sexuality/gender to explore and be really open to new experiences. You will find yourself ❤🌈
same!
so u are gay?
I feel like being here after writing "how to know if I'm gay" is part of the answer...
Deadass fr
I admire your integrity and strength Ingrid, you always seem to stay true to yourself.
I've had crushes on boys all my life but ended up falling for a girl and dating her. She was my first kiss, first relationship, first everything really. I've never dated boys but I've never liked girls prior to meeting her either so I don't know where that would place me but I just consider myself bisexual and I'm happy with that identity.
That is fine. I m confused about my sexuality i like to date both girls and cute effeminate boys. I am also some effeminate boy. I dont know what to do in life.
@@saurabhsinghbagari5776 *Same*
well let’s just say i go into gay panic whenever i see a hot guy-
noodleminhyung online too?
DespressoBlox yes
Oop
Ah, yes. The gay panic.
How did i know i was gay? I was in mcdonalds and i see this boy walk in (about the same age as me) and i immediately stand up straight take my hood off style my hair and try to make myself look nice, is that gay panic?
i need help...
so you know when you're a teenager you go through puberty and lots of emotions? i'm a female and i have started questioning my sexuality obviously, but i dont know if it's something to do with puberty and my hormones. i started having feelings for this one girl who is absolutely breathtaking and sweet. i haven't told anyone about my feelings for her nor have i ever really hung out with her. i always covered it up with a fake boy crush because i'm not ready to come out since i have just started making new friends and i'm already so close with many and i'm scared i might lose them because of my sexuality. this goes along with my family as well, they're christians, i am kind of, but i also am confused about the whole religion still.
if you have any suggestions or anyways you could help me-please do.
edit: ya’ll tysfm for the support in the replies (: i figured myself out, i’m a happy bisexual and i haven’t come out to my family yet but i soon will. also i’m 100% not christian, i have really changed over the years and i’m quite proud of myself
idk if this will help but im also 14 and i've also started questioning my sexuality... well, i haven't really liked any girls in real life but when i see a cute or edgy girl, I AM ATTRACTED. (its just usually girls in malls though) maybe you can come out to someone who is also a part of the lgbtq+ community? if you have friends with one of them?? well, honestly, i'm still questioning my sexuality and i haven't really called myself bi or lesbian nor have i ever come out of course but i did tell my bisexual friend that i was confused about my sexuality... i hope this helped?
Questioning your sexuality is OK, and im sure most teenagers would start wondering about their sexuality, especially around your age. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, it's never really worth it. As for coming out, straight people do not need to "come out" most of the time,, so neither do you. If your family is homophobic or does not approve of your identity, remember, they don't direct you, you direct you. You make your own choices, your own decisions, and your parents are there to guide you, not control you. If you lose friends because of your sexual identity, they may not be the best friends, because friends should value eachother as friends, not for their sexuality, skin tone, but for who they are. I hope this helped, I'm hoping the best for you!
Just be patient with yourself. It is going to take a long time but just remember you will eventually figure yourself out. I understand how frustrating it can be (trust me on that one), but i promise it will get better.
corey_darling remember that it’s okay to question yourself. i’ve known i was queer when i was 10, i’m 17 now but i still don’t have a definite label for myself. i like who i like, and if you don’t want to label yourself that’s perfectly fine. sometimes labels help, sometimes they’re stressful. my mind on my sexuality has definitely grown over the years, but going under the label queer was always my fall back when i’m too worried to be labeled a lesbian or bi or pan or whatever. also, my family is christian too, i am christian too and it’s been a journey with religion and sexuality. it’s definitely been hard but you’ll get through it! as long as you’re not hurting anybody, be who you are. tell your family when you KNOW you’re safe and when you’re ready. you’ll be okay, it’s okay to be confused but one day you’ll figure it out :)
I’m a boy and I’m 13 and I don’t have a crush but I think about boys and never girls and my friends are like “who’s ur crush, maybe ur asexual” and I don’t know but I think about having a girl crush I think like maybe she’s cute? Maybe she’s nice? But then I don’t have feelings for girls and I’m confused
help
And also I have a little crush on a friend but he’s straight so
Help I’m confused
To really understand that I'm gay took lots of thinking. Like, a few years of thinking. I'm 17 and I've never dated anyone and I've never kissed anyone, so to figure these things out, I sort of just had to hypothesize and just think about what I wanted and what I didn't want. And after a long time, I realized I just was not attracted to guys.
LeslieXvideo me too both i am 14
All through elementary school I was like "nope! Not gay! I like dudes." But when I went into middle school I realized "fck, girls are *adorable* " and now I know I'm bi
I am not gay but I sometimes act gay and shit but in reality I can stare at a girls ass for hours
I don't know I am bi or gay because it's confusing whenever I see a hot guy removing his shirt I am like dam 🤤 but on the other side I want to date a girl and sometimes also I don't feel like having relationship with boys it's just so confusing and stuff 😭
i almost cried when i saw this in my sub box because i questioned my sexuality a lot (and still do sometimes) and i'm so just happy that you're covering it
dAfoodie101 thank you SO much u helped me come out and I can't thank u enough
dAfoodie101 I was bisexual in 5th grade now am in 9th grade and girls like me, is that weird cause one am my friend that are girl said I always wanted a gay friend.
Da Queen If u don't get it don't judge!!
dAfoodie101 same
Same.
I had two long terms relationship with men, who I loved, but since I met my life partner, who is a woman, I can tell for a fact that I feel much more whole. The connection that I have with her is at a completely different level and I have no doubt anymore about what love is and I know that I am where I belong. But I loved boys and was attracted by them.. until I discovered how I feel with a girl! Everything is not white or black, and that is part of the beauty of love... when you feel true to yourself you can stop worrying about not fiting to a specific label.
It makes me happy to read through the comments and see that I am not alone!!☺️
Hiiiiii 😭😭😭 Lol help meeeeee jk... but also help 🤣
Yes we are with you
I wonder if i am gay........
MUUUUUUM I THINK I AM GAY!
*1 year later*
Yep I am definitely gay.
Lol
I am too
Yay😁
Lmaooo
i can relate sooo much.
All i took from this video, is to be HAPPY, and feel confident in your own skin, this video really helped, thank you 🌈🌈🌈
I’m figuring out if I’m gay but the girl i have a crush on is my sisters BFF and the girl is gay and I think it would be uncomfortable for my sis if we did date.
I hope you did not date ur sisters friend-
Think about it in ur situation, let’s say ur sis is gay and ur friend is too, if they start dating.... I’m out the door😂 I personally think it’ll be weird but that’s just what I think
Same
I tbh can't tell if I'm bi or gay I asked my friend and she told me to not overthink it, it comes naturally as of rn I identify as straight but sometimes it's like these weird moments my friend has discussed how sometimes she thinks girls are hot but doesn't want a relationship that's when I realized hm yea I have those moments too idk why I commented this I just needed to get it off my chest and the fact this video came up while I was going through this just made me think like woah okay then
Jeongkookk honestly don't try and force yourself to find a label you fit. Just go with it and be happy
Jeongkookk I totally relate. It is so beautiful to come across someone else who is like that. Thank you.
I Totally feel You. You dont need to stress about a label now cause Well, I thought I was bi For The longest time and a Year and a half later I Realized I was curious and Realized I was gay. IT Will come to You in time if u are I sexual or gay. Just dont stress too much :)
That's how I feel except I would love to try being in a relationship with another girl and I find other girls hot and the female body attractive but i've had like a billion crushes in my life and maybe 2 or 3 of them have been on women yet i've never dated another woman but none of my relationships with guys have worked sexually for me. So most of the time I see myself as 100% straight but other times I feel really curious about women and would love to go out with one and see where it leads i'm open to anything...
Jungkook ITS A SIGN!!! 😂 but same. still straight? my friends have said the same & that they both kinda went through that too or at least questioning.
i knew one girl who thought that she was 100% gay, but then she fell in love with a boy, and she was really worried about. i'm sure there are a lot of gay people out there who have felt the attraction towards the opposite gender. and it's not this annoying thing that we're being told every single day, 'you're gay???? you just haven't found the right girl/boy yet!!' it's more about 'hey, as long as your label comforts you, it's totally cool. but if you ever change your mind or you'll accidentally find yourself liking someone else, it's absolutely normal. our sexuality is fluid and you shouldn't repress your feelings. at the end of the day, you are who you are'
lost goose thank you so much for this👌
I’m literally crying because she talks about so many feelings that I have and don’t know how to handle and this helped me start thinking about coming out
This is really helpful. I think I'm straight but girls are so pretty and more understanding than the guys I've met. Right now I'm more asexual because of the experiences in my past but that definitely can change.
When you already know you're gay, but you still watch this video just to be sure :) love you Ingrid! Wish I had this video when I was still questioning ♥
The best thing I've heard so far was something to the effect of;
_How do you know if you're lesbian ... You clicked on a video about how to tell if you're lesbian._
It's a crass generalisation but it makes sense.
Yoruichi The Extra Terrestrial lol I’m straight but I clicked on this video out of curiousity
I still struggled with my sexuality as a straight woman. I dated a man who held over my head previous relationships that I had in college. He would gaslight me for having experimented with my sexuality and my MONOGAMOUS relationships before him. I allowed that abuse to go on for years in my early twenties before moving the fuck on. Now I'm in a healthy relationship with an understanding and sexually active man. Don't take abuse about your sexuality for one second, let alone five years. It can degrade your confidence and such lack of confidence can seep in to other big areas of your life. Thanks for this post, Ingrid!
Your coming out video came out (lol) around the time I was accepting that I was a lesbian and really helped me accept myself, so thank you, Ingrid, I love you ♥
Milly Packham why? I don't understand even if you don't believe in God what is it that makes you gay? No hate I'm just trying to understand. Because to me liking the same sex wanting to have sex with them is just lust not love. also sex with same gender has been shown scientifically unsafe. So help me understand why
lmao you realize men have a g spot on their prostate, right?
that's not opinion, thats just science lmao
Aye but its science that engaging in sexual activity this way is unsafe and harmful
How? I wasent being mean nor rude i was trying to genrally understand
Its not about stds physical engaging in sex this way is not safe. For example anal is very bad on the body because its not meant for sex
I'm straight, but found this video so refreshing. As you talked about labels and how you change throughout your life, I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders. I don't have to stay the same my entire life. I can change. I think I'm ready to come out of my shell. I don't know how my parents or friends will react to me being gay but I think I'm finally brave enough to do it. Thank you, Ingrid. You changed my life.
Ingrid, you truly give great advice. As someone who also came out a bit later in life (I'm only 22, but it's still later than some people who come out in high school), I think it's so important for people of all ages to hear advice like this. I know that labels are really important to some people, and for me personally, I like the idea of labels BUT I'm still exploring my sexuality and learning who I'm attracted to. I KNOW that I'm attracted to women, so I like to use the word queer to describe myself because it kind of lets me be more fluid. To me it says "yeah, I'm not straight, but that's all you need to know about me". Thanks for doing these videos, they really help out a lot of people! That's just a few of my thoughts!
Skyler - it is never too late to explore any part of your identity, and only you can decide who you are, who you love, and how you identify. I was 31 before I was willing to admit to even myself that I am bi, and finally started dating someone who makes me happy. They were born female but identify as genderqueer with a slight slight leaning towards woman and we are happily engaged now. We have discovered that it doesnt matter what other people think and that they dont need to know any more details than we are willing to share as long as the 2 of us communicate and are happy together. Be you and be happy - thats all that matters.
it's honestly so hard to figure shit out lmao Im attracted to boys but I think I also like girls? I think girls can be so beautiful but I feel like it could also be more the feeling of 'I want to be her' instead of attraction. But i'm not sure? I think a relationship with a girl would be way easier because Im quite feminine and I like a lot of girly things and with a girl Im able to find more common ground. While with boys I sooner feel really anxious and different, i'm just not really good at interacting with them and I can't imagine telling a guy all my secrets or being with them a LOT? Since I also don't have a lot of male friends and I feel like im always closer with girls. I'm attracted to guys though. idk it's so confusing.
Ellis this is 1000% relatable
Well I feel Ya. For me I Realized I dont have sexual attracties to Guys and only to girls but Guys can be Pretty Cute sometimes but I just would never have sex with them Ya know...... Yeah sorry This is weird XD
oh. its in...words.
Everyone I start to doubt if I'm actually gay, I just think back to all the times I would do nothing in art class because I was just staring at my art teacher the entire lesson like:
❤️👄❤️
I’m not gay but I am bi thank you for this 🙏🏻
Omg I would love to have a verified gay checkmark on my twitter! that would fucking awesome😂
Regina Ponce ikr that would be amazing
HAHAH Someone please make that a thing!
I love the idea that you don’t need to label yourself. I think fluidity is more common than anybody realizes.
I'm totally a lesbian. I knew I was different since I was 14
Chani Smith I knew I was bi at age 8. I am 11 now.
You're such an inspiration! 💕
i haven’t ever had a crush. i think people are attractive but never a crush or want to be with someone. two of my closest friends say that they wouldn’t be surprised if i was lesbian. i don’t think i am but when they asked me if i have ever liked someone i couldn’t answer...
Hello fellow confused person. I’m 17 and I’ve been in this situation for a while (4 years). The easiest way out of a conversation like that is either saying “idk” or “I’m not really interested right now”.
If you ever get a crush or suddenly feel attracted to someone (like lady Gaga in her music videos) just go with it.
Just don’t let anyone rush you or get you into anything.
I know it is very ultra frustrating, but just keep going. And who knows, maybe with time you turn out to be lesbian, asexual, bi or other.
Also, a lot of people discover their sexuality in high school or university, so do not rush.
HEY! WAIT! Hey hey hey hey you!! LISTEN!!
AROMANTIC!
And then there’s about a gazillion variants.
A R O M A N T I C!
Seriously, look it up.
AROMANTIC!! Greyromantic? Lithromantic? NO IDEA!
BUT I KNOW ONE THING:
You can live life and.... NEVER DATE, and NEVER GET MARRIED.
IT IS POSSIBLE. IT IS.
AROMANTICS. ALSO:
If you don’t really wanna label or whatever I know that feeling but still. Just. It’s okay to not want to be in any romantic relationships.
YEA
I know I am gay and I am only 13. Like if u the same
Sarah's Binky Bunnies I have known I was bi since I was 8. I am 11 now and have a girlfriend.
Wendy B. Carter how do little kids get into relationships...
ervin zhou we like someone..? What kind of question is that?!
Wendy B. Carter nah nevermind haha, do what you want to
I've known that I'm Bi since I was 8, now I'm 13
I realised i was gay when i was dating this one girl and i just didnt really like her that much and i had a crush on this one guy who I still dont know if hes gay or not but i do have sneaking suspicion that hes gay and im going to tell him that im gay this week
Sphynx how did it go?
Sphynx dude don’t leave us on a cliffhanger what happened?
How did it go?
(Edit: I don't know if this is a good sentence... Probably not because English isn't my first language and I'm very bad at grammar and stuff so yeah...
But please say it if something isn't good, because that will improve my English.)
@@bofriedbo it's how did it go or how it went :) don't worry you'll improve in no time🤗🤗
@@091keshavani7 oh okayy thanks!
Thanks this helped out a lot, I learned a lot about my sexuality during this video! You deserve this subscription. Love you all
I really think labels aren't important especially at a young age. sexuality and gender are both fluid because it's just about what you feel! I've kind of come to terms with the "bisexual" label for myself but honestly it's scary so I just let myself feel attracted to whoever without thinking about it!
Katie L it's fluid for some people
Yes! I totally agree with you! I always just say I'm gay because I felt like labelling myself as a lesbian is really constricting and it really just makes it easier for other people but limiting for myself.
Katie L I am 11 and identify as bisexual.
Yes but for some people labels are comforting.
i agree. & thank you this is so helpful. ☺️👏🏼💘
She kind of looks like Maia Mitchell
Team 21 me think the same
Team 21 yep
Not really. Or at least my opinion
@@Sara-lb9zh yea me too I don't see it
I agree, especially in her thumbnails.
look up meme: I'M GAY
That is how i am going to come out with a meme
Imagine if you actually did get a check mark though, like "Hello, yes, I am a verified gay. You can tell by my rainbow check mark."
I've always had a crush with a straight girl. So sad especially when you are shy and introvert, it's just kills you inside.
Hey do you have Instagram if you do heres mine juanita21savagee
I’m not gay tho who else here isn’t and is just watching because people always call you gay as a joke and it actually hurts you.
Can you do a video about how you told your family and how your family handle that you are a lesbian 😄
i am 13 (male) and i am bi and just came out to all my friends last month, feels amazing to be urself arround people u trust : )
I'm 13 too and I just realised everything I've ever done in my life was never straight 😭🖐️
@@apricity_cafe9633 bestie sasaaaame agahahshahablmao i am so gay now
i had a crush on this girl and she liked me back but my best friend (who is a boy) also liked her and so instead of dating her, i said that i didnt want to date and i still like her, she ended up dating my best friend and he didnt do the same for me. We are not best friends anymore. But i found new best friends and a new girl friend who is so sweet. Everything works out everyone!
Hey Ingrid! 😊
I'm bi and it's very much because of you that I told my family. I love your videos and your coming out video gave me the confidence to say something. I figured if you could tell the whole freaking internet that I could tell my family.
There are still a few people in my family I haven't told yet but I'll get to it someday. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for being the amazing woman that you are and for helping to empower me to be who I am. ❤️💛💚💙💜
black and lesbian, hi world
Me too girl, black and gay lol :3
*****
Ayesha E literally me!! Omg
Ayesha E ohh I'm mixed race as well
but still black lmao
I've been having a really hard time figuring out my sexuality lately... I couldn't help but cry throughout out this whole video because this was something I really needed to hear and found comfort in.. you've helped me lore than you could know, thank you so much Ingrid 🧡🖤💜
do you have a penis if the anser is yes then u like girls and if not you like men just solved all your problums
i was a tad disappointed the striped shirt didnt make an appearance;) great vid ingrid thanks for being you!!!
The coming out shirt?
Joel Rodriguez yes haha!
sHe is one of the biggest inspirations for doing youtube !
Thanks so much! Im now trying to contact her incase she needs music for her channel !
Im a DJ / producer, I make Tropical house / melodic house!
Would be awesome if we could get her to take a listen !
:D could u vote this up so she might see !=) TY so much guys!
Thastor Your so stupidly pathetic it's hurtful,begging this Lesbian SJW for help,they don't help MEN!
It's spineless pieces of shit like u that is giving power to these bitches,quit kissing ass that won't give u the time of day!
THE SQUARE ROOT OF DOGSHIT STANDS 1 FOOT INFRONT YOUR MIRROR
She's lesbian doesn't mean she's a SJW.
Tracey Orball what
lmao um whaaat... when you just want cLouT
@@traceyorball2767 uuh lesbians can help men too wtf
I'm a bisexual male, but I prefer male 90 percent, so I wonder if I would actually be considered gay instead?
Hi! I attend to a public high school and they do not teach us anything lgbtq+ related (sometimes they would mention gay families and gay couples but that is it). And as a result a lot of student are uneducated in anything LGBTQ+ so it is way harder for us to find our sexuality or identity. This can also make other students only knowing the a few LGBTQ+ identities (gay, lesbian and transgender). I think it is absolutely important to make sure students are educated in these topics and know that it is okay if you don't fit into a label and it is okay if you're scared, so I had an idea to write a letter to the school asking them/ persuading them/questioning them on why we should have LGBTQ+ education/ why don't we have LGBTQ+ education. I believe we shouldn't rely on teens running off to the internet and studying the LGBTQ+ community when most students don't even know what the LGBTQ+ Community is!! If you have anything you think is important that needs to be included in the letter please tell me. 💖💖
Who else is straight but still watchin?😂
shut up gay boi
nope
If u watchin, u gay, u just don’t know it yet
Me
@@woahthereshistar7218 wow :o u rite
Someone at my school is gay! How do I know if I’m gay? I just want to marry a guy but who knows if there gay?
I don't think I'm gay but I feel like maybe I'm a little bi sexual lmao
Which is wired cause in the past I really haven't respected gay culture
32 and still no idea! Guess that means I'm open minded....and I'm ok with that! I don't need a definite label ☺️
This might sound weird but how do you know you’re gay? I know I’m not fully gay but I kinda have an attraction towards women. Not in a way I want to be sexual with them necessarily, but I am extremely envious of other girls and think they’re so pretty and I want to look like them. I have body image issues so maybe it’s that? I have only dated men as a woman and I am extremely attracted to men. Maybe I am bisexual, and sexuality is on a spectrum? So weird.
I think I might like a girl from school.(btw I'm a girl) She has cute freckles, large, gorgeous eyes, and her coconut perfume, her funny, sweet personality, and OMG I HAVE A CRUSH ON A GIRL!
Gay or not. We ALL have the hots for Ingrid!
True!
The thing is I'm 14 and I've never really thought about being gay at all. But suddenly it just came over me and I really think I am. I feel like I haven't thought about it much and I really don't know where to go from here.
Like I haven't even had a crush on any girls because it was so sudden but idk I just feel right saying that I'm bi for now
@@minghaocansteponme4136 im a guy I've always felt the same with guy's.
I really like that though the years you didn't change and you remain a positive role model in TH-cam :D:D:D
Your american english is beautiful,understand every word :)
you made me cry in happy tears thank you so so much you made my day
i never thought about my sexuality I was always meh about it. then I heard the term asexual and I knew I was that. I just knew. but here's my advice for you guys out there who struggle with this whole sexual identity thing: don't let it be who you are. let it be a term, a thing, something like a name tag you can just rip off if you feel like it doesn't describe you as well as some other term you have learned about. I thought I was just straight, because I had no better term to describe myself. now I know that I'm ace and I'm proud. good luck in this game of life everyone, I hope you get a high score
Being Asexual do you not kiss also?
Jules Cirilo don't know about others but I've never kissed anyone. Ever. Never even thought about it much tbh
Phelanii so why say asexual why don't you just say straight, I don't understand the term asexual
Jules Cirilo it means I'm not sexually/physically attracted to anyone. Look up aven or Google asexual for more info if you want to :)
Phelanii I did , but it just didn't make since to me that's why I'm asking you questions Thnks for answering me