Could You be a "Little Bit Autistic?": The Nonvisible Part of the Spectrum
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
- Dave discusses his journey on the spectrum and the core question of whether or not you can be a little bit autistic.
Dave also discusses his time at Microsoft on MS-DOS and Windows working on such features as Task Manager, Pinball, Zip files, Format, the Start Menu, and more!
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At age 45 I went to a psychiatrist specializing in autism to schedule testing. A half hour into the interview she said I was just like the autistic kids she works with and my being an autistic engineer gave her hope for them. That was how my diagnosis entered my medical records.
Yep - autism can be advantageous sometimes. And I bet you're brilliant engineer. The downsides being social situations.
And i go to a psychiatrist and they literally say they don't care about adult diagnosis
Went back to college after the kids went to high school. Had a teacher put their hands on my shoulders, look in my eyes and said, "get tested!"
😂🎉Love teachers!
It is not autism that disables us. It is the cruelty that many allistic people target at us, some maliceously and others due to ignorance, the world they seemingly built without us in mind, that disables us.
@@psyience3213 Find another psychiatrist.
to us you're still Dave
100%, could not agree more!
I was born in england near nottingham,
Im dave
Just like "Still Dre", the rapper.😁
I've gotten a bunch of "you don't seem autistic" but also a bunch of "oh, that explains a few things"
My dad didn't realize he is on the spectrum until he was about 73. He was a doctor who ran a solo practice. He's devastatingly intelligent. He was a general practitioner who knew more about most specialties than most specialists. He diagnosed the type of stroke he was having and where it was in his brain while he was having it, later confirmed by scans. I know IQ doesn't mean a whole lot, but I think he's about two standard deviations above average. It was after retirement and losing all of those routines and social structures and rituals that he realized he was on the spectrum. He had just become incredibly good at masking. Suddenly a lot more of his childhood during the 50s made sense, since he got singled out by teachers for "bad" behavior a lot. The moment he told me I was like, "fucking obviously, how did I not see that before?" His brother is also autistic, but much further out on the side of neurodivergence. I think their dad and grandfather were too, based on descriptions of them. I never met them unfortunately. I've started to wonder if I may share some traits of the spectrum. I'm 34, and never thought I was on the spectrum, but I do also wonder if either I am somewhat, or if being raised by family who are on the spectrum can impart some characteristics of that into your personality. I definitely want to get tested at some point because it runs in the family, and knowing either way would actually be helpful for understanding some aspects of myself. I'm just so glad ASD is so much more well known! I was a teacher, and I had autistic students, and they always made me think of how hard and isolating growing up in the 50s and 60s must have been for my dad, and especially my uncle.
Doc Martin. Except he wasn't that good at masking
I have a 42 year autistic son with severe autism, has no speech, self harms when he cannot control the situation, and has no social interaction at all. He has however, taught his parents to no longer to be shy, and to stand up to health professionals and schoolteachers, this last who professed to know it all, and in fact, new nothing. Puberty was a nightmare for all in our house, but in the end, we got through it. He is currently living in a flat, with 24 hour care. I fully understand the life Dave would have had growing up, it would have been difficult for him and his parents.
My parents got told that I should get tested for autism when I was 2 or 3 years old, but chose to move me to another kindergarten instead, in a misguided attempt to protect me from stigma. I recently got diagnosed as 34 years old because I finally reached a complete breaking point, and it's equal parts liberating and overwhelming to see just how much I have been masking and trying to mimic behaviours, to a point where I often wonder if I have my own personality at all. I look forward to reading your book :)
Watching your videos was one of the reasons I ended up getting tested @ 40, now I have mild ASD, mixed ADHD & dyslexia and a much better understanding of my self, and my children will not need to go through what I had.
I'm 66, and an electronics engineer for 45-years, a helicopter pilot, a photographer, and an author. While I haven't been officially diagnosed to be on the autism spectrum, I did learn about the typical symptoms a few years ago, and these seemed to describe me perfectly. By knowing this now, SO much of my life makes a lot more sense!
While it was VERY difficult for me in junior high and early high school due to my substantial social awkwardness, since then my ability to hyper-focus on topics has become something of a super-power, propelling me to the top in my field. With this, came greater social acceptance among friends and acquaintances, although I still struggle greatly in social situations.
Interestingly, I very recently learned that one of my very best friends has also, independently, come to the conclusion that she, too, is on the spectrum. I find this fascinating because it seems to have contributed, at least on a subconscious level, to our getting together, even though we've now been friends nearly 15-years, and we both only just recently discovered the likelihood of each of us being on the spectrum.
I see a recurring pattern of mild autism often becoming a superpower. Not a free superpower and often painful in many ways, but a superpower nonetheless that often results in great outcomes for the individuals and those who benefit from their work.
Good evening Mr. Trautman - Very interesting post that I can relate to. Me: EE (very good at analog circuit design, and preferred CPLDs in the era of Boolean Equation based code), Fixed wing Instrument and have learned to compensate sometimes clumsily. Jr. HS was no picnic nor was HS, but the ability to focus got me through college.
A few personal observations of quirks: Starting as a small child, needing a terry cloth towel on my pillow to shield me from the pillowcase texture. The well known eye contact stuff. Dreading social situations where I am supposed to mingle in large crowds. Missing important oblique ques from others. Having a sense of humor so superb and dry that people often don't get my jokes, while I sometimes missing subtle sarcasm that isn't meant to be nasty.
Punchline: I perceive that being seen as on the spectrum could be ruinous to the things I care about. My technical leadership roll at work, my Class 3 medical and people's trust of my judgement in daily matters could reasonably all be expected to disappear. I don't recall any specific questions on the flight medical questionnaire, and believe it would be unhelpful to bother the AME with my perceptions.
I fail to see how a functioning person who reasonably suspects themselves as being on the spectrum could possibly benefit from professional assessment.
Have a great evening!
@@Sotsog-wt5dn Thank you for your feedback. I'm certainly seeing a trend with respect to those who are apparently on the mild end of the autism spectrum and careers in electronics engineering. With respect to analog circuit design, after spending the first 30-ish years of my career doing digital design, I've found great joy in doing analog circuit design and analysis for the past 15-years! It is VERY satisfying! In fact, I'm currently writing book 2 in a 3-book series on analog circuit design & analysis.
As for others knowing about being my on the spectrum, while I don't go around advertising it, any time I HAVE told someone, their response has always been, "I figured you were", or simply, "I know", and they've been very understanding. But it hasn't changed the way we interact in any way. So, I don't think that you can expect people not to know you're on the spectrum by not telling them. They'll already know...or at very least, suspect.
Obviously, only you can make the judgement call about your own situation, be it at work or with the FAA, but I, personally, don't think it would change anything if you did tell them.
As for the Class 3 medical, I can't see how it would have any negative effect whatsoever. In fact, I think those who are on the spectrum likely make BETTER pilots because we're much more detail-oriented.
Happy flying!
i’m pretty damn sure i’m on the spectrum too, and my two closest friends (who have never met, and who i met almost 20 years apart) both independently came the same conclusion about themselves around the same time. i’m positive that’s why i get along with both of them so well. i think it’s probably common for people on the spectrum to find each other even if they don’t know it.
I was only recently diagnosed at age 39. I always felt like an "oddball" and while I didn't initially have trouble with social interactions (I had no filter and would blabber on about anything that interested me), the responses I got back were enough to make me very wary of people and I generally only speak when spoken to nowadays. My obsessions at the time were childrens books and satellite television, that later became computers when I got hold of my first PC. I also had a passing interest in railways but never took it seriously until around 2005 or so, when it became a full-blown interest. I never thought I was autistic until 2006, when I had posted online on an advice forum and someone replied to me that some of my behaviours appeared autistic. I was unable to find anyone who took it seriously at the time, but my current therapist recommended that I revisit it about a year ago. When I got the diagnosis, I cried. It proved to me that I wasn't making it up. It is also making me re-evaluate certain part of my life, such as maybe finding another job that doesn't require so much social interaction with end users or the general public.
Mr. Dave, the more you understand yourself, the more you understand others. You, sir, understand yourself very well.
I recently found out the same. It’s been liberating knowing I’m not wrong. I’m just wired a little different
Yep - was liberating for me too.
you are superior
I love you mango
I'm glad you put it in no uncertain terms that the magnitude of a trait is what makes it a diagnostic criterion, not the mere presence of the trait. My appointment(s) will be around august. I waited 14 months to be scheduled for them.
I define it more precisely in my first book, but basically, if you can change to accommodate the world, or vice versa, then you don't have a disorder... it's when the two can't be made to meet!
@@DavesGarage That's a fair point. I'm not only suspected autistic, I'm also a wheelchair user. I find my paraplegia less disruptive to my daily life than autism, because it's very easy - at least by comparison - to accommodate mobility issues, to a point that my method of locomotion doesn't matter, and there are no mobility issues to speak of anymore. Same thing can't be said about all the ways what I found out was autism, shapes my life.
@DavesGarage Is it can't change, won't change, or I'll just jump through the hoops to make someone shut up about it? I finally explained to my wife that I would accompany her to some social things, but not all, and that I need her to tell me what is really important that I show up for. I found early on that I had either no interest or intense interest in something. I focused on obscure things, Wolves for example. I read everything I could get my hands on for a few years on the subject of Wolves. I would travel to different zoos in the US, and just sit and watch the Wolves. Then one day, that switch turned off only to be turned on for something else like ballistics, then bourbon, then watchmaking, and it it continues over and over.
If you read the Diagnostic Criteria, read past the three lists, to the parts at the end, zoom in on the words 'clinically significant'. It is ONLY autism if it is severe enough to have a clinically significant impact. I.e severity. If not enough symptoms for full diagnosis but still ClinSig, then PDD-NOS. No such thing as 'a little bit autistic'.
@@problemwithauthorityMy interests cycle, too, but I always come back to computers.
as a fellow grade 1 autistic (former aspergers) CS student, it gives me hope you can actually be relatively happy(or more accurately satisfied) in your 50s and be happy with yourself. I've recently being treating my ADHD and i am getting my life together, after years of feeling it getting worse and worse, cheers
Getting diagnosed and understanding myself that much better was a big part of it!
I was finally formally diagnosed with autism within the past couple of years. I am 50 years old now. At first I was relieved that I could finally identify what was different about me and had caused me so many problems. Then, for a while I hated it. The truth had started sinking in. Eventually I came to accept it for what it is, but not necessarily all in a good way: Basically, given my age, I kind of gave up on life and the hope of a future. It seems that in a number of ways my autism is a lot worse or affects me a lot more than that of other people.
Dave, it's really great that you have managed to achieve so much, that I likely never will, and are continuing to do so. Best regards!
That's the hard part. The stats say 80-85% of autistic people are unemployed or underemployed. Being autistic in the workplace is hard.
@@llewellynjones1115 Yup. My way of learning is to poke around the edges of a topic and watch to see where things break; most managers hate when they ask you to do something and you start probing a topic because you're trying to make sense of what it is they're trying to get.
I had a manager that fully embraced questioning and engaged when he wasn't sure about what I was saying; I was super productive at that job. Now I have one who says he's conflict avoidant, and that he views questioning as a waste of time... I'm not doing well.
I'm in an engineering field and the irony is, that I understand what I'm working on better than he does; I can look at something and figure out how it works (even if I don't immediately understand why, it's intuitive), I identify issues months before he even starts to notice them... Yet I'm failing because a bad engineer made it into a leadership position and he's essentially removed all the tools I have that make me good at my job.
I gave up on life too, diagnosed at age 60, now I know why.
Jeez Dave, you could me describing me to a T...
I'm 61 and have only found out this year that I have ASD. It explains soooo much.
I am a lifelong bachelor as I have never been able to sustain a relationship and while I'm alone I am not lonely. I always thought it was a bit weird that I didn't want to go out and socialize with people.
But on a good note, I work in Cyber Security from home and make more money than I ever thought possible.
Now bought your second book well worth the pennies.
However viewers really MUST buy your first book too .. THAT blew my socks off!
I suspect I might be like you - my Dad was (undiagnosed), my son is (diagnosed), my sister is (diagnosed) and my nephew is (diagnosed). People tell me I have 'traits', and I can be socially awkward, and am a developer like you (but not as successful, and defo not a millionaire haha). However, I LOVE crowds of people, and am happy talking to strangers. I was terrified recently as I went to a party where I knew no-one (but it turns out some neurotypical people also felt like that...)
, but when I got there, it was just fine, made some new friends and had a wonderful evening... Thanks for your important work on this, and please do an audiobook version of both your books (will buy the first one again if you do, as I never have time to read it, but can listen to audiobooks while walking the dog etc).
Thanks for this Dave. Seen so much stigma around this. Having been born in the 60’s, we did not have an understanding of this. We just hid those things to act “normal” so we didn’t end up in that one classroom. You know the one. Where they threw anyone who was different or had challenges regardless of how severe to forget how they were not being educated. After my son’s diagnosis (because yes, it is genetic) I spent his lifetime researching this (because that’s what we do best). My son is turning 19 now & I am so glad we stayed in Alberta with such great support and understanding.
Opposite to what most people would say, I believe what we experience is an upgrade. We lose some social skills, but we are capable of so much more than “normal” person could imagine. Especially when you have understanding and support like my son has. This is not a new thing. My grandmother could strip a car engine apart & put it back together. Did her own electrical & let me help when she went from an outhouse and sink pump to her installing a full plumbing system in her home.
We are the innovators, builders, artist & dreamers of this world. Can’t wait to see what all the kids like my son are going to do with it!
Upgrade - I like that.
Why it may not feel like it most of the days, I'm with you on the upgrade part. It's also funny, when you pay attention, how much the world is built on the shoulders auf people somewhere on the spectrum. I feel it's not a coincidence that people like Dave helped to write one of the few operating systems that now run the world. Maybe not for this channel's audience, but coding on such a level and understanding these deep complex systems is like magic for poeple and out of reach for most (myself included).
@@Piipolinoo Yep - Silicon Valley was built by people on the spectrum. The stereotypical "Geek" is someone somewhere on the spectrum - not necessarily at diagnosis level but I think you get it.
@Piipolinoo I am very autistic and very talented at coding. It is like it's a native language for me and most others are struggling like it's a second language. I did lots of stuff for the government but ended up being fired over social things, heh..
Used to review raw traffic for anyone attempting to hack in. Watched the traffic in raw hexadecimal for patterns. Someone told me it it was like out of the matrix 😂.
Half the people I worked with would have probably been fired as well, if I didn’t ensure they were in positions where social interactions were not possible. The fact that I was one of the more social of the group still blows my mind!
Dave, i dont know you, but what a wonderful person you are. Thanks for being so open.
Opportunities lost or avoided due to social discomfort have haunted me most of my adult life. Thankfully we as a people, we are more aware of the issue and it seems to be easier as we get older. You're doing just fine buddy !!!
I appreciate your frankness and humor (I really was chuckling along) in your discussion here. But moreso your desire to help others who might be struggling with similar issues. Our church has a ministry to serve kids with development issues (and their families) and help out there regularly. I'm struck by the difficulties families struggle with and how wearing it can be on them - and of course how the children struggle too. There is a lot we can do as a society to help ease the burden.
Thanks again for sharing. WIll grab the book for more insight
I loved MS-DOS! I just noticed your video showing it's become open source now. I actually took over the primary terminal of my school district's "supposed" offline computer for maintaining grades for all students while trying to get DOOM to run in 1999.
They had old IBM 4MB systems and I was running a selective boot to cut the overhead... I cut enough and soon learned my system was registered as the very computer in a building that was supposed to be offline. I combed through the system and looked at my collective grades from my entire childhood. Yet, I quit there because I only ever thought of myself as a white hat, no harm guy...
I did use the system to copy pieces of typing homework from a few friends and edited it enough to make it look like mine. I was given permission by my friends and the teacher soon caught on to the fact that I wasn't turning in my homework, but somehow it was showing up in her laptop! 😆
She told me that she knows I didn't give her a floppy disk of my homework and that my work is very close to my friend's work. She finally ended with one point... "I don't know what you're doing, but she can't prove anything. You're beyond typing and I know you don't need this class. I will give you a 100 for the class, just quit trying to pass off someone else's work. I in turn agreed to no more homework and told her that at the end of the year, I would show her something that would be too be fixed before the next school year.
I grabbed her laptop and proceeded to selective boot into the mainframe as the primary terminal. She was shocked because it was where every teacher had to go and schedule a time to put in grades at the end of the semester.
I stopped by after I became a radar tech in the military that next school year and sure enough, the old IBM PCs were gone! They couldn't patch that vulnerability on those old systems with only enough RAM to barely function.
I seem to remember something like: Net send all "whatever message" - didn't impress the IT teacher in sixth form in 1993, but was funny until it got disabled.
@@threeMetreJim There was something about computers back then... They had a form of awe and the unknown. All of that has been lost, now they're just tools. I wish that had never been lost. I think it's because they're too streamlined now. Vista was the turning point IMHO.
Here also someone proudly on the spectrum. (diagnosed when 7, now 34 years old)
When I first saw one of your first videos I knew enough already and later videos confirmed my 'protocol detection'
I Work on a school for kids (12-18) with autism, as IT guy and also provide as translation layer between the students and teachers where needed (or wanted).
Anyway, will order your book, always interested how others view our 'disorder'
Awesome on the book :).
Yeah, there's lots of us. Diagnosed at 7 and re-diagnosed at 23.
Excellent talk! Thank you, Dave. Your book looks intriguing!
Dave, since I found your channel, I've become more self aware myself and finally found out that I am autistic as well. It explained so much about my life! Thank you! But it was also difficult to finally know why I was discriminated against by many people (including my current manager at work) my whole life, and how incosiderate to different neurologies most typical people are...
Thank you so much for this perspective. When I moved out of state for college I began to question ALOT about myself and who I truly am. Problems with campus lighting being to bright to sleep, noise from dorm residents, roommate issues, issues with setting boundaries with strangers, etc… In terms of my own personal childhood development: I find myself observing some of my childhood friends who were diagnosed with autism later or those who also question, and how I clicked with them in unique ways. I think for me it is hyper-focus, misophonia, tactile issues, eating problems, sleep issues with time change/daylight, issues with spontaneity when my own affairs aren’t in order, fixations on broad topics (drawing, playing guitar, listening/finding new music, learning about cars for aesthetics and builds, and military planes have been my main ones from 2022-2024. Hyper focus on those things is very rewarding and I love to make diagrams of what I learn and teach others to reaffirm what I’ve learned. I have been told to no end I should be a teacher since high school. I would study more than most people, and one final thing is I would always insist I do the entirety of group projects so it could be done faster and so I wouldn’t have to worry about poor quality work 😂. I always had that problem from middle-high until college I try my best to listen and allow my piece to be of equal value to everyone else’s. It is hard to not be a control freak sometimes
My daughter was diagnosed around 3 years old, and she is 9 now. I also am a software engineer (probably on the spectrum), and once I started doing more ASD research I found out about masking. I believe the tests for adults is much more difficult because typically they are hiding the things that are more obvious when testing on younger children.
"Masking in the context of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) refers to the process by which autistic individuals consciously or unconsciously suppress or modify their natural autistic traits to conform to societal expectations or to blend in with their non-autistic peers. This behavior is also known as "camouflaging" and involves efforts to mimic neurotypical behaviors to avoid negative social reactions or to connect with others more effectively."
Yeah - "masking" is exhausting too and can lead to meltdowns as a result. It did for me anyway.
"Masking" or "camouflaging" may be more likely to manifest among ASD individuals, however I suspect it is not exclusive to ASD individuals.
I can strongly relate to the "avoiding negative social reactions" component, and the consciously suppressing or repressing natural traits to conform to societal expectations.
Modifying autistic traits is an interesting notion to consider. As I am relating from the perspective of one raised in purity culture, I wonder if "modifying" might correlate with the social norm of "flirting"?
My ability to develop social skills around expressing romantic interest was severely impacted during my formative years. An early misstep in the 4th grade resulted in a paddling (I tugged on a girl's hair), which was then followed by home schooling and religious purity culture. I have pondered whether my peers have developed a means of "modifying" their romantic social interactions to be sufficiently discrete to the more hostile and toxic members of the culture, and if that is what "flirting" is. I never could develop a sufficiently modified means of communication, which I attribute to a lack of familiarity with my generation's culture. Attempting to modify the conversation to avoid detection from authority figures also seemed dishonest, and contrary to the values of the "purity culture" I was raised in.
For me, it's something I've come to realize in my 20s. While learning about masking, I started to see so many instances of me learning "how to behave" just because my parents told me to do so (even in my teenage years) or because I was "weird". This last part is as stupid as it gets, because I was still treated as "weird", for as many behaviours as I tried to mimic
@@marvinmallette6795: Where do you sit in relation to the purity culture you were raised in these days?
That's wrong, because it's impossible to mask autism. A real doctor can figure that out with a extensive test, which will ensure with accuracy that the person has ASD, ADHD or any other diagnosis. People faking ASD usually gets caught with it, majority of the times, so it's not worth "masking" a disorder which is very apparent to skilled doctors. I know for sure that the act of masking something will only fool the most novice of people that have no clue about ASD or ADHD behaviors. So yeah, there's no way a skilled doctor can't tell whether the person has ASD or not. A extensive test will always get 'em regardless of beliefs or non-beliefs.
I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 53. Like you, pretty much noone in my life was at all surprised, except me in a way. I have been on something of a journey since my diagnosis essentially reliving my whole life in my head with a new understanding of the causes of many of the more stand out events and situations in my past. I have gone from thinking I was alternately bad, wrong, stupid, lazy, etc to just realizing my brain is wired differently than most peoples and my patterns of behavior are part of an actual disability. It's odd.
didnt expect that one. was here for the 40inch wide dell monitor im saving up for, im halve way there. i stumbled into this video and first 20 seconds describe exactly my history. i have not been so lucky and strugling for over 36 years as an adult. i am trying my hand at growing my channel to see if that can help me pay my bills. lets see how that adventure goes. Dave, thank you for this video and thank you for your early work at MS, loved DOS, and the evolution of Windows and Office. got the certs, never got the jobs. have a great life Dave.
I'll be 62 this year and never realized I was autistic until about a year ago. I haven't been formally diagnosed and probably won't at this point in life. I knew that most folk around were different from me(I never thought of myself as the different one) and had to work hard to fit in. I never really thought about it until I started watching your channel and I want to thank you for sharing your experiences. I can't change who I am or any of my past experiences but it is nice to finally know why things are as they are. Thanks.
you're a wonderful being and thank you for sharing dave!
I’m a fellow autistic software developer. I was diagnosed as a child and had a lot of the same challenges growing up and living in society. I feel like I don’t fit in, like I’m from another planet, wearing an “earthling suit” and trying to blend in, which is rarely easy. But I can code… seems autists with the coding gift and the passion can crank out the code like few others.
I think the fixation can help in this type of thing and also seams to be a great benefit (when working at least) for instance it's been suggested Tesla had autism and he certainly had ocd, others have also suggested Leonardo da Vinci was on the spectrum as well.
I feel this. It's isolating, and lonely as all hell; but there's few things I love more than being creative. I don't actually know if I'm good at it...but I genuinely enjoy it and have the passion to reinforce my confidence in even the most difficult tasks.
From one autist to another...I can say with confidence that despite the lonliness I would literally never go back to masking. I don't like being mistreated simply for being different, but it's just not worth killing who I really am just to fit into some arbitrary standard of living. Be who you are; know your worth and don't give people who deliberately mistreat you the time of day. Don't become mean and bitter...but don't let anyone else tell you who you should be.
Same here, but not software.
the schools are brutal for us in adult life you have less people controlling you
I always felt I was observing the world and the people around me from above.
This is an excellent breakdown. Extremely well-written and very well verbalized. I have autism and was diagnosed at 13, and I am glad you said it in no uncertain terms - one either has it or they don't. It's not something that people can pick and choose.
Thank you, Dave!
I find your videos, and you, endlessly fascinating. From your projects to your stories from Microsoft, I find something useful in listening to your voice. It's quite soothing. I exhibit a few of the characteristics like being overwhelmed in crowds of people and really not liking to be touched by strangers to being hyper focused on challenges, even to my detriment. But I'm certain I don't come close to meeting the definition. However, watching your videos makes me much more sympathetic to others that are definitely on the spectrum.
Thank you Dave. Thank you for becoming the lightning rod that leads to enlightenment for others. I have been following you for some time and always find myself thinking "Oh my god, I DO THAT" am I as well? I just ordered your new book and I will be reviewing it and elements of your story on my own tiny TH-cam channel. I am currently not in a position financially to get competent testing done, but I hope to one day. You are truly a light in the darkness, thank you again.
I am a retired telecommunications worker, now over 70. Your story is so close to mine. It is only in the last ten years or so that I realised there might be an explanation for how I didn't fit in all my life. I wouldn't classify myself "disordered", I just have a different operating system with different strengths. :-)
One of the 2 reasons why I follow your channel. Not actual ASD, but I (and others) see in me many of the signs. So I would put myself somewhere on the "spectrum" and keep trying to learn more about myself from examples I can follow, such as yourself. Thank you so much for sharing!
Dave you warm my heart. Sharing your story makes us all a little more connected - The Other Dave.
I’ve been told so many times I am but never pursued testing, but this book sounds wonderful for me to personally check out. Thank you!!
Hi Dave. I read your first book on autism and I related to your experiences very well. I’ve always felt different. For example, if I’m in a group of people who don’t know, I feel like Ronald McDonald at a business meeting where everyone else is dressed in full business attire.
I’m seventy now and it just doesn’t make sense for me to go through the testing now to confirm what I believe is true. Over my life time I’ve had to learn how to be “social”. It’s been a roller coaster trip through life but in the end, I’m satisfied with what I’ve accomplished and some want saddened with what I didn’t accomplish. I’ve got three wonderful son’s, but I’ve never been truly successful in the area of finding a lifetime partner. It just baffles the hell out of me. Oh well.
I’ll be ordering your book very soon.
Take care.
Thank you David for the video.
As an older person the things you describe had often just been "understood" to be part of what makes some folks "nerds" or "weirdos" or etc etc etc. I am glad for you that you had an actual clinical diagnosis establish something concrete for you and your family. I hope that this truly helps some folks to find "official" answers to things as it may provide a handle for leveraging their intellect. Some of us "just deal with it" and evidently are not introspective enough to overmuch care about "official" opinions. This may be a failing on the part of those individuals or it may not.
I am satisfied with my life be it willful ignorance of a condition or not. I know myself well enough that any "official" words would not change how I act or change my self reflection.
Peaceful Skies.
The movie "The Accountant" is marvelous and explores some of these things. The opening scene assembling the puzzle came as a *huge surprise* and it spends some times on how the main character learns to do *anything* in society.
There's also a bit of exploration of the topic in "The Imagination Game" where Alan Turing has to make sure the peas do not touch the carrots, or something like that. I don't have to separate everything but I do tend to eat all of one thing, then all of the next thing, and so on.
When you were describing your young years it was so similar to mine it's eerie. There are certain differences of course and I react differently than my peers to situations. Trauma has a delay of 24 hours for me. Even extreme trauma. I have 24 hours of a lucid fugue state where i can operate normally before I actually experience the emotions of the trauma. That's not so great when you are a teen trying to sort out your emotions. It was a real asset as a soldier where I could react immediately and clearly headed to sudden situations and sort out the emotional impact when it was safe.
The Dave is the Dave, and will always be the Dave :D
I'm not diagnosed, but I'm working on it at the age of 35. I, my friends and my wife strongly suspect I am on the spectrum. I always considered myself "different" (I was also different because I grew up not speaking English, in South Wales!), but it didn't really hit me until just after covid when I first discovered you on youtube.
No matter where I went, I was always "different". I always thought it was due to my background (especially during my army days). It certainly makes sense. I remember reading your book and having something resonate on seemingly every other paragraph (yes, I am exaggerating, but a lot did resonate).
I'm a retail banker. Never could get my head around programming etc.
Thanks!
i have also been diagnosed with asd just some months ago. you were one of the reasons why i was not afraid to do it. it paid off!
good luck with the book, i appreciate your channel I learn a lot
Thank you sir! I feel every single word of this!
Wow, incredible video. I feel like your book is just for me! I've recently wondered if I might be somewhere on the spectrum due to certain symptoms, but when I hear others talk about ASD, I feel like I'm not "bad" enough to get a diagnosis. Would love to read your book!
Good on you for putting something like this out there for folks
Very well put, Dave.
I'm 35, I'm not diagnosed yet but I know I'm in the spectrum thanks to videos like this. Good to know I'm not alone.
You quickly grabbed my full attention, and answered a question that I never knew I had.
I will look in to getting tested soon!
ADHD here, which shares some of the characteristics. Diagnosed at age 50 and boy does it explain a lot in my past.
It's fascinating when you can look back with a new perspective to explain things like why you got good grades except in the courses you didn't like, etc. And I'm glad I wasn't diagnosed back then because the treatments were definitely harsher than they are today.
Keep doing the good stuff! And thanks for Task Manager. It's saved my bacon numerous times. 😂
my understanding of asd was "inability to detect social cues" until i saw the word "monotropism" fly by the screen and googled it. I think I'll be buying a copy of your book
Thank you for being you Dave ❤
Purchased. And I think I'm finally going to get myself tested. Your intro in this vid was like me in most situations. Thanks Dave!
Thanks Dave. Your honesty and inquisitiveness shines through all you present on your channel.
We all may be on a journey: some may veer off to another place ‘en route’, but it is all a one way ticket.
Keep safe. You seem to have acquired a ‘Willy Wonka’ ticket to somewhere magical.
Thank you.
I've inherited Family. Long story, but I also inherited a "kid" (19) with level 2 autism, ADHD, the works. I've been able to engage with him on a very deep level, and he has surprised me with genius bits often enough that we've bonded. He's very verbal, and loves adventures, so I've been working to give him entertaining puzzles to solve and working them out together.
I've also become aware of my own idiosyncrasies, and am getting a screening, hopefully in January. It takes that long these days.
Hi my name is Dave I've always been into computers and classic cars and modifications of both I'm 54 and was diagnosed with high functioning ASD 2 years ago about the time I found your channel and love your content keep up the inspirational work.
Hi Dave. I have been diagnosed with Asperger's. I always knew that I wasn't "like everybody else." I was only diagnosed at 50. Between the small group of ring zero friends in my life, I have learned most of the social stories required to get through life. It was when I saw the movie about Temple Grandin, that I saw the parallels in my own life and decided to get tested. Keep getting the message out there. I've worked in tech for 45+ years. Machines are way easier!
Ring 0 friends is a perfect description. They're privelidged (and occasionally cursed) to get the unfiltered person, and access to it all.
Yep - machines indeed are waaaay easier. I find people unfathomable sometimes.
I think that, without a diagnostic, the ability with machines is somehow a curse, in the way that I have failed miserably so many times in my engineering studies just because I was completely uninterested by a subject.
My mother always told me that I had such a great talent for anything "machine related", so why couldn't I just focus for a bit on studying...
I've never been tested, but I definitely relate to everything you said.
I don’t really understand what the point in being diagnosed later in life is. Other than some comfort in knowing. Whatever negative reprocussions with work or damaged relationships have by then already happened. And no psychiatrist is going to help because 95 percent dont treat adult autism and will just diagnose the resulting disorders like depression or anxiety. They only care about intervening in children. It’s also one of the worst disorders you can pass on to a child as a parent other than schizephrenia. As it has the potential to leave the child isolated to an inner world or with only one or two friends
You pretty much described my experience growing up and so many traits that I have though I am undiagnosed. It has made life a little challenging at times when it comes to other people. My child was fortunately diagnosed on the spectrum so that they could get help to get through school and learn life skills while still in school.
wow, your #1 in top 100 paid books on amazon rn! Incredible description
Fantastic Dave! - Your summary about the difference between a diagnosis and the underlying autistic characterization is a thoughtful distinction. Human psychology is not a precise state machine with clear discrimination. It is a mixture based on very high order complexity. I would probably not fit the clinical definition of ASD, yet I of course have some well aligned peculiarities - The difficult to control desire for a certain order, and the uncomfortableness with some human interactions, especially new ones not grounded in a strong common interest. I’m looking forward reading your perspective.
Makes me think of Donny and Marie "I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock and roll" song from the 70s. I am pretty sure I am an autist walking for 60 years undiagnosed because oh boy did I have social awkwardness as a child. Thanks for sharing this video.
I learned about my Negative Schizophrenia in a somewhat similar way. I was working at a store and had a customer who came in almost daily. We had some common interests like games, tech and science so we would occasionally talk for a bit while I was taking lunch. I don't recall the details but duting a conversation the topic of my mom passing came up. I'd mentioned how when it happened, I was the one who went around informing family while my dad grieved. I'd mentioned how I just went through the motions, didn't really have a grieving process and even went to work later that day. Turns out he's a psychiatrist. He bombarded me with questions, then more questions the next time we had lunch and unofficially diagnosed me with negative schizophrenia. Once I learned more about the symptopms, so much more of my weirdness made sense. I never got an official diagnosis because it really wouldn't change anything. I was just glad to have an explanation for some of my weird ways of dealing with things.
I wouldn't be surprised if I had at least some form of autism. With the exception of not really needing routines, everything else you mentioned fits me nearly to a T. But that's fine. I've always worn the "weird uncle" badge with pride so I'm not complaining.
I'm middle-aged, a huge geek and aso both on the spectrum as well as suffering from severe ADHD. Here's finally someone I can relate to, someone that deal with the same issues I face on a daily basis.
It's sad that instead of being able to just say: "Cool, cool, cool. You've done ok, what's your trick?" and start conversations wherever I try to connect with humans I'm either flamed out of existance, threatened, being told "you're faking it" or just doing it for clout. More often than not I'm driven away from communities.
If you make an audiobook of either of your books, I will absolutely buy them.
I was diagnosed ADHD in 2018 and pursued an ASD diagnosis last year. It wasn't nearly as thorough as yours and frankly, I wasn't a big fan of the diagnostician, but I was diagnosed as not being Autistic, but that I have "autistic traits", which I honestly wonder what the difference is, but here I am. I pursued this because of your first book and I'm glad I did. Now if I could just get my randomly crippling anxiety sorted...
Its really great that you bring this to light. We are pretty sure our daughter is on the spectrum. I watch your videos for two reasons.
I'm 57 and was diagnosed last March. The first 3 minutes of this video could be talking about me... Thank you Dave.
i don't exactly know what is not working in my brain but i know i've never been like other kids/people, and learning social stuff for me takes 10x
Great video, thanks for sharing. By any chance, do you have any plans to narrate an audio book version? There's something about the combination of your voice & good audio quality that I really do enjoy. Thanks, C.
Don’t you mean Autism has Dave? ❤. Brilliant video. I’m looking at getting myself tested. Appreciate you sharing your journey and experience.
Becoming "self aware", as I have, has made navigating life much easier for me. My daughter is a clinically trained to diagnose people to determine if they are in the spectrum and is the one who nudged me to get tested.
Your list at the beginning was like a flashback to my entire life. Unfortunately, I was never truly "successful" in life. My dream job came when I was in my late 50's and was completely destroyed by the pandemic forcing me to retire early with nothing. I'm 65 now and I was never diagnosed with anything except "different", "problematic" or other "not normal" individual. I wonder just how many of us there are that "fell through the cracks."
Well I was diagnosed when I was like 4 (34 now) so I have been lucky enough to get right help and have understanding people around me almost all the time.
The earlier the better, I'm a big proponent of early testing!
thanks for your advocacy Dave
ahhh Dave, you keep me going. Your videos allow me laugh at my issue like yours.
I have a similar Radio Shack story like you explained in your Secrets otAM book, and it features MS-DOS!
About the same age, 7th grade, in a Tech Ed class... there was a station for a little robotics kit. The teacher wasn't able to get the software working and was hesitant to let me work on it. I was insistent though because I wanted to build a robot. He eventually caved, like "sure, kid, have at it.". This was around 1995, and the PC was a bit older.
I distinctly remember pulling up a command prompt, switching to the floppy drive, and running the install.exe and having a small robotic arm working within the first half of class. What the teacher couldn't figure out in some amount of hours I did in mere minutes, he was amazed.
Doesn't sound like a big deal to anyone reading this story, but as a 12-year-old I felt awesome. Ended up staying late to show him what I did and I remember getting a pass to go to my next class late, feeling like a computer wizard.
I don't have a big desire for formal ASD testing, ( I don't know if I'm interested to know) but I can relate to many of the things you describe for ASD. I've probably figured out something that works for me, now being married with kids!
I'll be interested to read your next book. Thanks for the good work!
Well said and very informative and i do recognize much in your talk since i self have asd
A lot of what you said resonated very deeply with me Dave. I've believed myself to be a part of this "nonvisible" part of the spectrum for some time now in my adult years. Even talked to health professionals and support staff about it. I've been told that unless there is something specific I need help with, I shouldn't pursue a diagnosis because it will make things more difficult or that it's going to be very expensive. Actively discouraged from looking for a diagnosis in Alberta. I am nearing the end of a Bachelor in CS with a math minor so my finances are in a place where I cannot afford to pursue a diagnosis outside of the public system which has actively discouraged it.
I KNOW I'm different. I have my entire life because of the patterns in other's behavior around and concerning me. I've always been treated like my sensitivities are a choice and that I am actively trying to be difficult by my family all throughout my childhood. I still dont think I deserve alternative food when there's something that triggers a sensitivity in the already prepared food.
I wish I had the money to buy your books. I'm sure they'd be an interesting & informative read. Thank you for the content you make Dave.
I found that my diagnosis was liberating rather than making things more difficult. It's unfortunate that you have the US medical system to deal with though - in other countries this kind of thing you get for free - though you might need to wait longer. In the UK I had to wait for a year and a half to be assessed. (I've had a couple of cancer scares in the past few years - didn't have to wait for those checks - unlike what some people will try to tell you. The checks came back negative - no cancer.)
Having a diagnosis (assuming you are autistic) means that you can get people to stop trying to make you conform. Get one when you get the chance - though from what you say that could be a while.
@@paulbarnett227 He's in Canada, not the US.
@@greggmacdonald9644 Noted. It's the public system not seeing it as a priority then. We get that in the UK too.
I don't know what you expect from a diagnosis. Just focus on your studies. If you don't need a person to come help you with cleaning or doing grocery shopping, there's not much benefit to you personally. Depending on where you live, it might make health insurance more expensive too.
@@98Zai It's about knowing for sure - and all that crap from your past starting to make more sense. When you know for certain you know that it's OK to be different and there's a reason for it. For me it was liberating.
Writing out your explanation of the spectrum in code was perfect! 🤣
Dave, I'm definitely learning about Autism from you. We have a friend who has a son who is clearly Autistic. For a long time, I thought he represented what Autism was like. Then i saw a list of traits that were labeled Autistic and noted that at least one of them applied to nearly everyone I knew. That made no sense to me, and I really questioned whether everyone diagnosed as Autistic really had a problem. They certainly weren't like our friend's son, and it seemed like anyone could meet the criteria in the list. Only after watching your videos did i realize it's much more complex to diagnose than just reviewing a list of traits. Thanks for the insight!
I will certainly check out this book
Thanks Dave, you are, we are all, first and FOREMOST, human beings and people. We are all worthy of profound respect whatever our story/origin/orientation. Many tell me that my father was ASD. I never noticed but with what you say, he may well have been. All I know is that he was extremely benign to all he encountered. You remind me of him. Bon vent, Cher Monsieur!
Yeah... Learned I have ADHD at 44 years old. Went through a lot of the things you did, both before and after the diagnosis.
What are the benefits of formal testing if you are in the non visible part of the spectrum?
Implied in the question is the assumption that you already grew up and learned to maximize the benefits (like being able to hyperfocus on solving a problem and finding solutions that nobody else could find) and minimizing the negatives, and maybe even learn to interact in extrovert ways so that you aren’t treated like the hermit you would rather be. In other words you were already able to turn a handicap into a superpower.
I find the description… curious.
I’m not certain what he means by visible versus non-visible here. The reason I ended up seeking counseling and getting an unexpected diagnosis in late 2002 was due to an aspect that I’d wager would be called “invisible” in the form of autistic inertia.
It’s because of a high-energy manifestation of it about 8 years before then, that I also went into a spectacular manifestation of a shutdown at work, which was likely a catatonic episode when all is said and done. Last year I experienced my first very clear-cut manifestation of autistic burnout, and at its acute peak, sent me into a meltdown, where I’d not had one I think for decades.
In another comment in this comment section, he said this: “
@DavesGarage
10 days ago
I define it more precisely in my first book, but basically, if you can change to accommodate the world, or vice versa, then you don't have a disorder... it's when the two can't be made to meet”
Sorry @DavesGarage, that’s not how it works. If you have to change to make things work, that’s masking, and it has a price. One I’ve concluded is, more often than not, not worth it. After learning last year that autistic burnout wasn’t restricted to little kids (commonly called “autistic regression” by parents) and how bad it can be, I’m treating it as a way to commit suicide in slow-motion, and I’ve never been suicidal.
I spent most of my life unable to interpret social cues, even though I could see them. For what ever reason, it wasn't until I reached my 40's that I suddenly became proficient at reading people, reading situations, picking up on sarcasm, and speaking on topic when its my turn in a conversation. This happens both cognitively and intuitively. I have no idea what happened in my brain, but something got fixed. I even think I've gotten better than the average person. WTF! Was I really that badly socialized as a child?
I **love** Dave's Garage. I suspect it has something to do with Dave. Thank you for everything Dave.
Several years ago, I told my mother that I thought I might have a little bit of Asperger's Syndrome. I have never been tested but recognize some of characteristics in myself. I am a physician, but not a neurologist, so I have some experience with recognizing the condition. I'm really glad that you have made this video and written your books. Many people envision ASD patients as unable to function, but you are clear evidence to the contrary. I always think of Temple Grandin when ASD comes to mind. She earned her PhD, even though she has pretty severe ASD.
Thanks @Dave :-)
I began to have doubts when I realized that writing C++ first thing in the morning, or figuring out why my code has a bug was easier than talking to others until I've had breakfast and coffee. Maybe I should get formally tested... Thanks Dave!
I was diagnosed at 45 with ADHD. While there are significant differences from ASD, my journey had led me to a number of conclusions.
1. Everyone is unique, and measurable characteristics for nearly all personality traits vary from person to person.
2. People have varying degrees of tolerance for those who are ‘different’, either from ‘normal’ or just from them.
3. Treatments vary depending on the person diagnosed and the person offering treatment.
4. It’s worth it to see a professional if you have any suspicions. I had to see several professionals before settling on a diagnosis.
5. Disorder is a tricky word. It tends to taken as meaning defective, but that’s slowly changing. Human worth is not measured by tests.
My recommendation, for whatever it’s worth, is to not base your self image on society as a whole. Seek support and affirmation.
My son is diagnosed with ASD, and some of the traits I see in him have always reminded me of myself.
Also ex-Helo pilot and current software engineer now in my 60s. I do think a lot of us techie types are a least a tiny bit “different” and thank God for that.
I am also "A little bit Autistic" most people cannot tell right now except for the fact that I am super structured. I also found out long ago that not two people in the spectrum even if its mild are similar. We also have our own personalities. For example I am an INFJ according to the briggs myers indicator, I have a lot of empathy and I care deeply for the people I know and for people in general. Right now I had been promoted to Community Deputy Lead of a very famous linux distro and the fact that I am the lead of the community efforts makes me feel good. Developing strong soft skills had been one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.
Thank you dave, I also have autism and know what it's like to hear sarcastic jokes. I often take them literally even though I know they are meant to be funny. I also notice that I am often distracted by many stimuli around me. I must find my peace for this. I took medication for this to be able to study focused and fortunately I no longer need it. I have a job in IT. I have the exact same things you described in the video. I always found it difficult to make friends. I often had few really good friends. Often also friends who also have autism. Somehow we just understand each other well. I can sense whether someone has autism or not. When I ask them it is often the case.
Dave, I enjoy your work, both here and on the software platform on which I earn my living. Just bought your book. (Kindle edition. If I like it -- and I suspect I will -- I'll get a paperback copy for a young cousin of mine who shares many of my own slightly odd personality traits.)
I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 3 and I used to hate how I felt different when I was a young kid. I also had to take speech therapy too because I was nonverbal until I was around 5.
Now as an adult, I've come to accept it and it's just who I am and I realize most people don't have a problem with it. I've been asked about it before and I would gladly go into Autism and Asperger's if asked. I might still be different from most people, but I'll take that as a compliment now.