Me and my brother were as close as you can be. We spent every day together in a warm jungle by the sea, whistling tunes to each other, perched on bushes watching the world go by. A peaceful life, oblivious to the horrors that would soon come into our lives. An old man, with skin, white like stirred yogurt, approached us and offered us seeds for our eternal friendship. We were both cautious at first, but when the man who insisted on being called Kevin, offered me a third clump of seeds, I mindlessly joined him, and let go of the freedom we had enjoyed all our life. The seeds, harvested from the grass, were too good, and I decided to follow, hoping he’d give me more. My brother was more cautious, and rejected the mans offerings, even when he gathered more to offer. I told him that there was nothing to fear, and he should take them, but my brother refused. Soon the man grew angry and frustrated with my brother, and in that moment, my life was changed forever. He flew (not literally) into a blind rage, and bludgeoned my brother to death, with such hatred, I thought no man could posses. I knew then that I was trapped, terrified that if I ever disobeyed the man, or tried to flee, he’d hunt me down, and crush me with his wrath. Every day I live in terror, not knowing if he might snap and take my life too, so I whistle songs to keep him happy, and allow me to live one day more. Whenever I close my eyes, I see my brothers face, and in my dreams he haunts me. I wish it were I who was killed that day, he didn’t deserve his fate, and maybe soon I’ll join him, just to end my bleak existence, no longer forced to go along in a world without him.
Kevin a few months ago: Yeah, we're gonna finish this Hardcore series especially since we the end portal is below our castle Minecraft Hardcore: So that was a lie
Because sometimes the ponds, wind up being spawn farms for Drowned. Seriously, the Trident spawn rate, will catch up to you, if you live somewhere that spawns them.
The parents names were Martin Van Buren Bates (7ft 7in) and Anna Haining Bates (7ft 11in). He died 11 hours after birth, was 23 lbs and 9 ounces, 30in tall and his feet were 6in long. They also had another child, it was their first born, she weighed a total 18 lbs and died at birth. It's quite sad ,yes, but you should definitely read about them. (Also I'm related to them that's how I know.)
Oh Vanilla man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand Vanilla man, the Irish corner of the globe is a real trip Vanilla man, far cry from a tan man subscribed to the clan Soaking up the thirst of the fans Vanilla man, can you see through the wonder of amazement at the sober man Oh, vanilla man, our trust is elusive when it casts forth to the childlike man Vanilla man, a sequence of a life form, amazed by his plans Soaking up the thirst of the fans
me: knows full well vanilla is a reference to his pale, pale, Irish skin also me: hehe i bet you arent vanilla XD youre a weird guy, youre probably into some weird-ass specific thing
Kevin: What's this? Is this Obsidian? Chat: No crying Obsidian Kevin: It's crying Obsidian! Why are you sad? Crying Obsidian: ... Kevin: *Punching Noises*
Here I am, in every single playthrough I start, searching for jungles for WEEKS! And Kevin goes like "I don't like jungles" and wants to delete the map instantly! For feck's sake! I've been looking for bamboo for days now and Kevin literally has some on his first frame!
i love this channel cause sometimes i miss the streams and i dont have enough time to watch them all the way through in a vod, i only wish the videos were longer and full of more ‘funny moments’ ahah
I wonder how many people were screaming at Kevin because he's making the farm one strip of land and one of whater, when the water can moisturize the dirt 4 blocks away from it.
I'm literally pissing uncontrollably because I am so sad. You have no idea how much piss there is all over my room it's not okay. Why is there so much piss? Why?
Who remembers old awkward Kevin's Minecraft let's play? Kevin, it was that let's play that not only got me into Minecraft, it got me into let's plays, and got me into TH-cam altogether. Thank you for those old memories ❤ if you still I have them, I know I would still love to see them, for nostalgia reasons!
I hadn’t realised that if lost connection at the start of the video, so I just sat and looked at Kevin slouching and was feeling very impressed with how still he could sit for whatever bit he was doing XD
ah, his skintone is that of freshly stirred yogurt
Could you imagine how bad that would stain if he spilled child-flavored soup onto it? I don't even want to think about it.
@@SkyP9812 you dare mention soup
Vanilla yogurt
Freshly stirred paper.
Delicious.
@David JR they're not tho. Chill
Kevin: vanilla man
Also Kevin: let's build a house out of meat to show *dominance over the other animals*
meat wall?
@@ezodragon wall of flesh
"The House That Kevin Built" by Lars von Trier
Kevin: Vanilla Man
Chat: Toast Man
Me: lOl FuNnY iRiSh MaN gO bRrRr
There's actually a meat block mod and a butchery mod, he should get both
I love the fact that he call himself vanilla man
Same
Same because his content is not vanilla at all (the murdering and all that)
I'm also a vanilla human
Maybe he's just comparing himself to ice cream because they both melt in the sun
@Emily same
This vanilla man looks like he's a big fan of potatoes
Found you , haah
You are the only one I respect.
You're everywhere...and so am i :D
found you
Did you know that the Irish grew from Potato Plants.
This extra channel is such a blessing
And such a curse.
As is our lord Pickens slave such a blessing and a curse
It feels like a secret club....of 228,000 people
Kevin is just a blessing in general
bless me Kevin, ok that sounded wrong out of context, even with context it sounds weird 🤪😂
"children are terrifying"
dude, have you seen a child's scull? their jaws, to be precise? that's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen!
I have...
0-0
Skull*
Of course Kevin has seen a child’s skull, his basement is filled with them
@@gamingecko679 I like dark humour too but holy fuck
@@gamingecko679 Maybe you meant our dear leader Jim Pickens' basement
"why are you sad Obsidian?"
“You didn’t pay us for our work because our metacritic score was off by 1”
Someone started talking about...
... soup...
@@beanieguitarguy4070 xD
There actually is a meat mod, witch makes this even funnier
There is a mod for everything lol
can't you make meat blocks and meat liquid, and a straw to drink the meat?
@@combine161 that is all correct yes
We need Kevin to see this.
That's a main channel video if ever I saw one 😂😂😂
I hope he plays with the meat
"oh my god, the amount of pigs!" i don't think you need anymore pigs in your life after yesterday's video, toastvin
EAT THE PIGGIES
@@hopscoot5728 2 years worth of piggies>streaming equipment
Kevin asks a sheep to live with him. Most Irish thing I saw him do on TH-cam.
"why are you sad obsidian?" -Bethesda after they give them 18 months of development.
-when they don't get their bonus pay because they only got an 84 on Metacritic instead of an 85
underrated comment
And they still made the best Fallout game
aint that a kick in the head
I think it was cut down to 11 months.
Notice how he ends all of his sentences with a giggle
oh no now I can't stop noticing that
I love how whenever Kevin gets scared his Irish accent amps up to 100
"vanilla man" Kevin I thought you were tall, dark, and handsome?? I feel immensely betrayed
vanilla is actually dark! so still tall dark and handsome
Normal and Vanilla is how we roll
@@cleetusbartholomew oh my goodness you're right my monkey brain instantly went to vanilla ice cream, forgive me
i really like this editor. their humor goes very well with kevin's imo
Me and my brother were as close as you can be. We spent every day together in a warm jungle by the sea, whistling tunes to each other, perched on bushes watching the world go by. A peaceful life, oblivious to the horrors that would soon come into our lives. An old man, with skin, white like stirred yogurt, approached us and offered us seeds for our eternal friendship. We were both cautious at first, but when the man who insisted on being called Kevin, offered me a third clump of seeds, I mindlessly joined him, and let go of the freedom we had enjoyed all our life. The seeds, harvested from the grass, were too good, and I decided to follow, hoping he’d give me more. My brother was more cautious, and rejected the mans offerings, even when he gathered more to offer. I told him that there was nothing to fear, and he should take them, but my brother refused. Soon the man grew angry and frustrated with my brother, and in that moment, my life was changed forever. He flew (not literally) into a blind rage, and bludgeoned my brother to death, with such hatred, I thought no man could posses. I knew then that I was trapped, terrified that if I ever disobeyed the man, or tried to flee, he’d hunt me down, and crush me with his wrath. Every day I live in terror, not knowing if he might snap and take my life too, so I whistle songs to keep him happy, and allow me to live one day more. Whenever I close my eyes, I see my brothers face, and in my dreams he haunts me. I wish it were I who was killed that day, he didn’t deserve his fate, and maybe soon I’ll join him, just to end my bleak existence, no longer forced to go along in a world without him.
Bruh...
Bruh...
Bruh...
Bruh...
F
“the minecraft man” also known as XxnoregretzxX
*ZxnoregretzxZ*
I'm kidding I don't really care haha
@@Subpar1224 i care
@@saveoursquirrels4241 All of us care...about you. Hope you stay hydrated and well fed. Sleep well :)
Kevin a few months ago: Yeah, we're gonna finish this Hardcore series especially since we the end portal is below our castle
Minecraft Hardcore: So that was a lie
"vanilla man"
dont lie to me, ive heard the things you say
minecraft: MEAT HOUSE!!!
the sims: MEAT WALL!!!
The next episode should just be modded like crazy
“Minecraft but it’s destroyed by mods”
no.
Rlcraft
@@sbeveguggenheim4935 Meinkraf
@@LivinLikeLarrry yes
Kevin: turning a pond into a farm
Me: “That’s genius! Why didn’t I think of that?”
What did you think happened to all the wetlands?
Because sometimes the ponds, wind up being spawn farms for Drowned. Seriously, the Trident spawn rate, will catch up to you, if you live somewhere that spawns them.
When you set the time on your phone to 8:00 pm so Kevin uploads instantly
*_reality can be whatever I want it to be_*
He uploads at 3 pm for me
Checkmate
@@Subpar1224 well I'm from Cork, Ireland....same as Kevin :)
@lil kfo oh nice. Where ya from?
@lil kfo oh so it's only like 12:36 where you are? That's cool lol. Your day is beginning, mine is ending.
I have the same reaction to bees. They're so cute and do so much for this world but at the same time when I see something wasp-like, I run for my life
"This world has everything I need!"
*sad Paul noises*
Blunts brother: doesn’t love kevin
also Blunts brother: why do i hear boss music
2:15 "Only joking" he says as he breaks the block instead of just stopping at the last second.
I've been waitin' for this...
He's back in minecraft!
Yay :D
When i was younger i thought that the:" seed " was the type of crop i wanted in the game
sad fact: the heaviest baby ever born died an hour after he was born, and i think his mother died due to complications due to childbirth as well :(
F
Oh no R.I.P.
The baby did but his mother died for something not related
F
wait a minute he didnt die, the fatass is speaking to you right now,im alive
The parents names were Martin Van Buren Bates (7ft 7in) and Anna Haining Bates (7ft 11in). He died 11 hours after birth, was 23 lbs and 9 ounces, 30in tall and his feet were 6in long. They also had another child, it was their first born, she weighed a total 18 lbs and died at birth. It's quite sad ,yes, but you should definitely read about them. (Also I'm related to them that's how I know.)
I want an ocean man parody about Kevin called vanilla man
Oh Vanilla man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you understand
Vanilla man, the Irish corner of the globe is a real trip
Vanilla man, far cry from a tan man subscribed to the clan
Soaking up the thirst of the fans
Vanilla man, can you see through the wonder of amazement at the sober man
Oh, vanilla man, our trust is elusive when it casts forth to the childlike man
Vanilla man, a sequence of a life form, amazed by his plans
Soaking up the thirst of the fans
@@CeramicQuill Lol underrated
Kevin's reaction to Blunt sitting in his boat was so wholesome
SQUARE JIM PICKENS IS BACK
LET'S FECKIN GOOOOOOOO!!!!
Kevin: Let’s try for a roommate
Proceeds to throw egg at wall
Kevin, the Minecraft man
"Why are you sad obsidian!?" Bethesda probably screwed them over again.
0:50 that edit and the sound kevin makes just got me lmfao
Kevin: Has water next to the tower
Also Kevin: *Blunt, catch me!*
I already watch the streams, but the editing is so good I need to watch the highlights as well!
"Look at him, he's looking at me"
-Call Me Kevin (2020)
Kev, I need your seed
Uhhhh for the Minecraft world that is......
Jokes aside this seed looks 10/10
Kevin: starts playing minecraft again
Me: The Return of the King!
I know no one is gonna care, but I was playing among us and made a bromance with cyan. My name was toast. If you’re out there buddy, I’m here
Nice dishonored 2 pfp
Tbh i approve of kevins comments becoming the new Craigslist missed connections.
Sucks, there's so many people using "Toast" as their name lmao you're never finding them again I'm sure
@@Oktobot12 :( that’s sad, just wish them luck on finding their friend...
Tho the journey to find your friend will be hard, i hope you the best of luck!
Oh. My. Gosh. I LOST it at the Home Improvement reference!
"Owh no, a child!"
This is the “Kevin” channel I watch when I’m drunk as a small animal in a vat of isopropyl.
"What's worse than a zombie?"
*gasp* "a child"
you're not vanilla, Kevin, you're Irish Cream
I just have to say that this second channel was a great idea
Kevin baby isn’t real, he can’t hurt you.
Kevin baby: 8:05
7:15
“OH MY GOD NO A CHILD-“
*hits baby zombie*
0:34
Kevin tries to be a therapist to a block. And then beats said block.
10/10
“One day someone will want to live with me”
A Creeper : *Allow me to introduce myself*
Even in single player mode, Kevin finds someone to terrorize.
RIP chat💀
Just got out of band class. Now I can be blessed. Thanks Toastvin:)
Turg takes band class!
I just finished a round of Among Us. It's 8:02 pm here in Ireland :D
Ah yes one of my favourite TH-cam commenters! How u doin turg?
Tommorow is the last day of school :DDD
@@PotatioBaconio I’m good! Thank you very much! How are you?
I'm so glad Kevin read my comment as to call the parrot 'Blunt Trauma' this is a special day
7:00 asks how to get down when there is a water pool right there...
you just started off immediately with a dad noise
New channel name ideas:
Call Me Toastvin
Call Me Stirred Vanilla
I miss this Call Me Kevin Clips guy, he's such a great man
me: knows full well vanilla is a reference to his pale, pale, Irish skin
also me: hehe i bet you arent vanilla XD youre a weird guy, youre probably into some weird-ass specific thing
Kevin: What's this? Is this Obsidian?
Chat: No crying Obsidian
Kevin: It's crying Obsidian! Why are you sad?
Crying Obsidian: ...
Kevin: *Punching Noises*
Me: *reads tittle*
"I think it's the other way around-"
@@airlesslight3339 lol what
@@renameagain5808 omg wrong comment this was meant for another one💀🤦♂️
@@airlesslight3339 lmao
thank you for reposting on here Kevin, I always miss your streams so I'm glad I can watch them here!
Vanilla Man, a sweet guy
Here I am, in every single playthrough I start, searching for jungles for WEEKS! And Kevin goes like "I don't like jungles" and wants to delete the map instantly! For feck's sake!
I've been looking for bamboo for days now and Kevin literally has some on his first frame!
Hey there Kevin how’s it going my name is JtThunder17 and today I’m watching two of your videos, again
Hey there JtThunder17 how's it going my name is Joyphil and today I'm reading your comment for the first time
Hi there @@joyphil4399 my name is Slem and I'm reading your reply
Hi there@@ayouxymy name is Bruh and I'm reading your reply to Slem's reply to JtThunder 17 commenting on one of Kevin's videos
no.
0:50 The home improvement reference made my week quite honestly.
aww rip the take a ride in the bowl isn't in here ahahha
i love this channel cause sometimes i miss the streams and i dont have enough time to watch them all the way through in a vod, i only wish the videos were longer and full of more ‘funny moments’ ahah
I don't like Minecraft anymore, but I do love when Kevin plays it.
Heathen
Love the explication of subsidence at 4:23
No way, 009 sound system dreamscape, I haven't heard that since I was like 13
So you are like 26
I wonder how many people were screaming at Kevin because he's making the farm one strip of land and one of whater, when the water can moisturize the dirt 4 blocks away from it.
Remember the hardcore series? How did it end?
Whoever is editing these props to you man!!!
damn the last time i was this early i saw my parents divorce papers :D
"I saw the future update, and it looks freaking awesome"
*Insert Goat yeeting a Cow from a Cliff*
Day 6 of telling Kevin to stream the Bee Movie Game
Day 1 of asking you if you like jazz
@@hopscoot5728 Day 1 of saying yes
@Orange Jello Sure
That miitopia music just calmly be playing in the background lol 😂
What happened to hard-core mode
He said he still has the save but it's 1-2 episodes behind
@@chill8373 thanks
Fun fact: an original minecraft review from ign read "10/10, ME LOVE GAME"
never clicked so fast in my life
Same
Hopefully the survival Minecraft thing will carry on here
I enjoyed it so much
I'm literally pissing uncontrollably because I am so sad. You have no idea how much piss there is all over my room it's not okay. Why is there so much piss? Why?
Wtf...
Piss boy
I... what?
@@DaniaEQ
Idk
@@no65362 shush
ughhh, Miitopia music playing in the background is reminding me of his corrupted Miitopia and Tomodachi Life saves
Me too :(((( RIP
day 2 of asking kevin to pin me if he love simpsons
You thought I wouldn’t read the whole fake update but I did
ah man i hear ya i feel the same way about games like this, always enjoy the beginning way more
I hear that miitopia background music, Kevin. Love it a lot, lol.
For some reason I can't get it out of my head that not calling this channel CallMeClips is a missed opportunity
the editing on this is deadly! :D
6:24 is what happens when you reject Kevin
“I love the start up of Minecraft. Probably too much”. No you don’t. No you don’t.
Who remembers old awkward Kevin's Minecraft let's play? Kevin, it was that let's play that not only got me into Minecraft, it got me into let's plays, and got me into TH-cam altogether. Thank you for those old memories ❤ if you still I have them, I know I would still love to see them, for nostalgia reasons!
Finally more Minecraft! This was the first game I watched Kevin play. Ah, memories…
You know if you watch him kill that bird in slow motion, I think you can see love hearts just before he dies.
The Miitopia background music makes me feel super calm for some reason - which is ironic because Kevin is pure chaos
I hadn’t realised that if lost connection at the start of the video, so I just sat and looked at Kevin slouching and was feeling very impressed with how still he could sit for whatever bit he was doing XD
Kevin on his regular channel is torturing fictional characters but Kevin on stream is torturing chat LOL