Because my Dad is narc, impatience was how my repressed anger manifested as a young adult... I had a child with autism when i was 21,and boy did that teach me patience and compassion ... Hes now 20 an lovely lad, Im very proud of how he's become a happy go lucky polite young man... Now my only time I'm impatient is when I'm driving lol. But I'm aware of it and laugh at myself if someone makes me get worked up. Thanks for your videos Dr C,as a survivor of childhood narcissistic abuse, you have helped me tremendously with your other channel. Much love from the UK.
The secret to patience is set your ego aside and give yourself to the task.. vs the usual ego indulgence and wanting the world to revolve around you. Also if you run into a hiccup, slow down, stop, take the time to sort it, and to learn.. then keep repeating that w/o respect of time so that you take the time to be a rookie at things as needed.
Whenever I am a patient in my life, I help myself to overcome problems l face to, as well as, to win difficult people. Whener I am not a patient, I help others to win me. Patience is salvation.
I find "hoping for the best" is focusing on fantasy of the ideal and "plan for the worst" is focusing on the fantasy of catastrophe. Both of these extremes reflect the cycle of the narcissist! Time is needed after reactive emotion. To express it, to name it, to connect it, to use it. Pausing, taking time is not tolerated in our culture. So it takes practice risking going against. Which is autonomy.
After multiple videos of narcissism, this is a welcome addition in learning to cope, deal, and handle stressful situations and difficult people. If nothing else, the power of patience is the power of self-control, of keeping cool, or seeing the bigger picture, and most importantly, of helping yourself in in being flexible and adaptable to uncertain and oftentimes painful situations. Thanks once again for "dad voice" counselor :)
To be patient is already having a key to inner peace. Patience gives an opportunity to listen and observe and learn about others. It's an advantage that supports empathy and helps it grow. Narcissists can take advantage of one's patience and even use it as their "supply," so one must careful of that.
Love this one. I am sharing it with myself and will refer to it. Challenging how to be patient with "crisis" oriented people. I feel empathy for their situation but many times, the train wreck is coming and they are sitting on the tracks. I say to my self, the consequences are in their DNA and there's nothing I can do. Not sure. I needed this one. Thanks so much.
Thank you for the practical tips! 1. Be adaptable and flexible within your goals and desires 2. Know when to assert yourself and when to let things roll off your back 3. Accept people for what they are (flaws, limitations etc.) ~no one is perfect~ 4. Be persistent and diligent as your pursue your goals (work around difficult tasks or characters) 5. Know what you are responsible for and what is not your responsibility 6. Know what you can and cannot fix (Don't fixate on solving things esp when they can't be) 7. Have back-up plans and have realistic expectations before facing a stressor 8. Know that life is unpredictable- Have empathy (for yourself and others)
I have all the patience in the world for children. I have worked with disabled/special children for years. When I know an adult is extremely intelligent & they fail to "listen" intentionally, that is where I need to do a better job. I guess being with a narc they expect everyone to listen, but they epically refuse to be considerate.
Patience (for me) was (is) always difficult when dealing with the narcissist(s) in my life because when chaos is stirred up (by the narcissist’s rush to dismiss, demean, disqualify, or deny,) i tend to feel/desire an even greater sense for the need of peace to be present. I use to think for peace to be present, resolve had to take place. I’m learning resolve is simply a rare jewel when dealing with a narcissist. Coming to terms with this realization has helped me to develop patience with the narcissist (which actually ends up looking more the color of a gray rock than the color of a rare jewel.)
@@DrLesCarter Thanks for your reply. Did Mrs Carter paint them, or choose them? I listen carefully to you but also can't resist absorbing the beauty of the art while learning from your presentations. L Revere
#8 is really important. I worked with a guy who was trouble with a capital T and I did not like his impulsive, bullying nature. Even so, he had a saying that added an enduring piece of wisdom to my life: He would often say, "Twenty years from now, what difference will it make?" When a situation arises and I feel like jumping in with both feet, I ask myself that question. It always adds the right perspective.
@@Oceans780 When I'm insulted or offended and I want to fight back, I opt for patience by remembering that two wrongs don't make a right. So I ask myself if this is really that important to me or, put another way, in 20 years, what difference will this make to ME. :)
I find as an empath, mostly alone in my world of heightened awareness, I am actually too patient. I have tolerated forever, 70 years, what I feel is unacceptable from my mother, sister, brother, husband, daughter and her husband, that I have “given up.” They will never have, or understand, my standards. So, I bite the bullet, I acquiesce. If I were to leave and seek my ideal lifestyle, I would upset many. So, instead, I accept that I made my bed, I will lie in it. 🙏🏼❤️🕊
Dr. Carter. Please develop a program for the school systems, this should be viewed and studied in elementary school as these skills, patience, love, decisiveness etc., are the elemental building blocks of forming balanced dynamic human beings.
Good morning Gus and the Carter Family. Have a great weekend. There is no other way to live but be patient, time is what we have that is free until we don't. Thank you Doc. 🤗🐶🐶
Even when things aren't going my way ,that's how I'm going to engage with others, the priority to be known for Dr. C''s grounding goodness & love- Free to be patient 💕🤍💙💕🤍💙💕
I just heard a quote I like: when you have lost or not known love you can learn a lot about how NOT to love. Rewrite your story. I know a lot about love and devotion. I will be practicing focusing on patience, loving-kindness, and feeling blessed ---things my ex seems never to have recognized.
Dr. C--- Thank you so much! I never realized just how rare patience is. Patience is my strongest quality. My wife knows how to trigger my anger---- which I see as passion, but when I try to express myself she will not give any validating feedback until she sees this anger showing through. At that point she focuses on my frustration. I'm working on it. "Impatience is the hand that removes the mask to reveal the shadow side of Man." cc 👀🐡🌿🌾
All very good points Dr. Carter. I believe patience can be acquired by persistent failure or disappointment. It is a learned virtue fine tuned by personal pressure. “Patience is a virtue.” I don’t exactly know who said this, but I know it to be true.
When it is something I really deeply desire, it is tough. So, I just throw myself back into work. Most of the time patience for me is not a problem. Thanks Doc
@ Dr. C and community… I think 🤔 patience is so very important. It can keep you from going down a rabbit hole 🕳 in life that becomes a trap. It helps your mind, body and spirit to be patient. Thank you 🤔❤️🌎🇺🇸❤️🩹
Really like the new opening sequence :) Re patience, I have learned the hard way that the worst possible time to act is when you feel the most like doing something. Often, you have been invited to react by someone who has a covert interest in experiencing your intense emotion; they do this because it's the only way they get any relief. Don't be the lightning rod for someone else's misery.
Very good topic. I am learning patience and doing well with it. I try to stay present, live in the moment, and not label things. Makes for a happy life : D Also, not to expect much from anything. It is adaptation.
Thank you Dr c for another good video as usual and for being on my journey with me you are greatly appreciated patience is a virtue I've heard that all my life also here's a point there is always more than one solution to every problem if one is patient enough they might see a solution to the problem that no one else sees I am adaptable so that makes me a more patient person than people realize patience is not only a power it is a strength.
A most excellent way of communicating with fellow humans. So much knowledge and common sense. Thank you for what you are doing. You are making a difference. Much appreciated
Many priceless pearls of wisdom in this video. Exercising the virtue of patience, is one of the all time great achievements in living life to the full!!
Dear Dr. C. In your Power of Patience video, I got all the añswers right! I aced that video finally. Not saying I'm perfect now, but more cool than a few days ago, I know, I can't believe it either! One of the # of the combination to patients is the ability to reason out the pro's and con's of each situation you're dealing with and the wisdom to choose the best scenario for all involved!
Congratulations. After having watched a large number of videos, I have suddenly switched from drifting and filtering to actually taking notes. Atypical.
Yep, but "Patience POWER" is well worth the agony it is to build. The one that knows your buttons is your patience-building-tool. Bet they don't even know you're "using" them. Moo-ha-ha. The more they war the more you win? Maybe?
found this intriguing (knows your buttons better than you...) believe this will lead to the feelings of guilt. If you are lashing out or reacting to the pushing of your buttons, you might deep down believe your are the stuff/things you are being called or accused of. That is okay though, as long as you genuinely recognize that part of you and are willing to fix them/it. Staying stuck, without self reflection🪞 prohibits🚫 HEALING 🩹 and CHANGE 🔺️. He who is unwilling to change goes against NATURE, and will not flourish. This goes to both the 'abuser' & the 'abusee' or the 'narc' & the 'victim'
I practice patience. I have to work on not complaining when certain people and situations get on my last nerve because yes, without patience then I certainly don't want or need the chaos of impatience!!
@@chriswyma145 True, it's no use. They will future fake, dangle carrots, gaslight you till you think that maybe there's something wrong with you. Meanwhile you're losing time on a person who just doesn't care.
I agree not all merit our patience. For those kinds of people, it can amount to enabling. My patience (among other things) was abused by one. In fact, I've noticed that any positive trait seems to increase their desire and tactics to destroy, defile, or demean it. (It sort of feels like they want everyone to be as miserable as they don't admit they are.) Makes me all the more determined not to become merely a reaction to their lousy behaviors. Sadly, they feed off any disruption of our character, and impatience becomes supply for them. So, given the choice, I'm opting for giving them nothing, neither patience nor impatience.
@@KoVurt If someone takes advantage of you willfully and repeatedly, you will lose patience. You SHOULD lose patience; there is something completely different going on that patience will never address...
@@oxigenarian9763 i was insulted to my face many times and didnt do anything. It took a week to process and think 'what the f**k?" A week!!! I would have weird things said to me that held no relevance. I look back now and shudder. I have been asking my trusted friends if I am going insane.
Thank you, Doc. Simple and direct. Anyone can bypass ten million other self-help videos on YT by just listening to this one. I also recommend Charles Stanley's series, Waiting on the Lord, for further exposition of patience.
A really good reminder, Dr. C! I especially like considering loss of patience as a loss of agency. I'm not sure what being impatient accomplishes, or what it's meant to accomplish, and if they have any correlation. And, given how and who I've seen employ this most often, I don't especially want to count myself among their numbers.
Maybe it would be helpful to keep a sort of "anger-and-patience-journal", in which you observe yourself with regard to these states of mind (without being judgemental): When and how do they arise? What triggers your anger? What is conducive for your patience? What thoughts and emotions arise in connection with patience or anger? What kind of behavior results from them? - And to counteract the power of anger and enhance the strength of patience one could also contemplate such things as the good qualities one can find in other people.
Patience has many unforseen pay offs - curiosity is a great friend of patience, and i'm a very curious sort, indeed (NOT nosey, tho, thank God 😂 I've a pair of narcs - one plays the role of covert and the other, very overt/threatening. They began making renewed contact and i smelled a rat right away, and knew patience would pay off from the get go (I'm in my 60's, and so, i know about these things!) The narrative kept morphing just as i asked key normal questions anyone might ask and as i expressed very politely my disinterest in what they were trying to sell me (which was all b.s. of course). And so, then came the worst sort of accusations that ANYONE could imagine, followed by death threats. Yes. You cant make up the things narcs will do and say. Not incidentally, these are highly educated people - all mafia, tho. ....Prayer and reading the scriptures helps me a LOT, and, your work, too, helps me a LOT, Dr. Les Carter! I tell lots of people about your channels💖
I have a lot of patience. Though when i have to get in a line im a nervous reck. I stand back, when no one is in line i hurry to get to the cashier. All the sudden i hear shuffling feet and sighs. I kinda look and im like, REALLY... A LONG LINE THAT FAST!. So im trying to hurry getting upset that i am. Or if i am stuck in a line i will sometimes say to someone, oh you can go ahead of me. Then that turns into more then one someone. One time i hear a yell at the cashier ,yelling hey is their a way to pay for this sooner. Then im saying... Im Sorry! I want to get a t-shirt saying on the back, " Patient is kindness!"
Finding out my ex has a double life and is now dying from 4 cancers from an std popped my cork big. I was compassionate and helpful at first. Then his going silent and listening to Dr. C, the picture got clear. I am blessed I did not get it (HPV) and it is now obvious he had a double life. Cutting him off as a clearly covert narc this week was very traumatizing. I am still recovering. He owes me tons of money. I am alone and struggling. Forgive me but a pr*ck get a disease there seems like some kind of karma. Hard to learn how I was played and finding you I feel blessed.
Patience is a huge issue for me. Sometimes I just have to not be around people for a while. Actually, my password is “Patience” it used to be Serialkiller. Progress😂
This drove me more crazy than just about anything else with my husband. He had zero patience with everything! If he asked me to do anything if I didn't jump up immediately and go do it, he would rage. I really an so surprised at myself now, that I had the patience to deal with him for 20 years
Stop the puritanical part, PLEASE. Ppl going thru the trauma of abuse or anymind need to also hear, “Take breaks from the toxic “people.” Don’t obsess nor ruminate. Go at your own pace - everyone is different.
Hey J L...This video is one of about 250 that I've recorded. I can't address all angles in one segment. All I ask is to consider my entire body of evidence. I have much concern for victims of trauma and abuse. I hope you can receive that from me. Dr. C
![[UNCUT]"ตุลามรณะ"ย้อนฟังคำทำนาย หมอดูทุกสาย ดวงเมืองร้อน (หมอปลาย ฟองสนาน อ.โอเล่)I คนดังนั่งเคลียร์](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lE5az5VvT9M/mqdefault.jpg)
Because my Dad is narc, impatience was how my repressed anger manifested as a young adult... I had a child with autism when i was 21,and boy did that teach me patience and compassion ... Hes now 20 an lovely lad, Im very proud of how he's become a happy go lucky polite young man... Now my only time I'm impatient is when I'm driving lol. But I'm aware of it and laugh at myself if someone makes me get worked up.
Thanks for your videos Dr C,as a survivor of childhood narcissistic abuse, you have helped me tremendously with your other channel. Much love from the UK.
“Love is patient. Patience is love.” SO good! TY, Dr. Carter!
Agreed!
Thank you so much for caring for the mental well being of other people. My life is better for it. 🙏
Hey Chris, doing these videos is good therapy for me, and I'm hopeful for many others. Plus it keeps me out of my wife's hair! Dr. C
The secret to patience is set your ego aside and give yourself to the task.. vs the usual ego indulgence and wanting the world to revolve around you. Also if you run into a hiccup, slow down, stop, take the time to sort it, and to learn.. then keep repeating that w/o respect of time so that you take the time to be a rookie at things as needed.
As older persons we need to give a chance/set a good example for the younger ones whom it's their chance to speak, be listened to!
Whenever I am a patient in my life, I help myself to overcome problems l face to, as well as, to win difficult people. Whener I am not a patient, I help others to win me. Patience is salvation.
I love this! Thank you!
Contingency plans…sounds like what my Father taught me as a kid “hope for the best plan for the worst”.
Dale Carnegie first coined this expression, I believe...very helpful.
@@oaktownie5135 🤔"coined" succinct. thanks💜
I find "hoping for the best" is focusing on fantasy of the ideal and "plan for the worst" is focusing on the fantasy of catastrophe. Both of these extremes reflect the cycle of the narcissist! Time is needed after reactive emotion. To express it, to name it, to connect it, to use it. Pausing, taking time is not tolerated in our culture. So it takes practice risking going against. Which is autonomy.
After multiple videos of narcissism, this is a welcome addition in learning to cope, deal, and handle stressful situations and difficult people. If nothing else, the power of patience is the power of self-control, of keeping cool, or seeing the bigger picture, and most importantly, of helping yourself in in being flexible and adaptable to uncertain and oftentimes painful situations. Thanks once again for "dad voice" counselor :)
"Stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there." -- Eckhart Tolle
To be patient is already having a key to inner peace. Patience gives an opportunity to listen and observe and learn about others. It's an advantage that supports empathy and helps it grow. Narcissists can take advantage of one's patience and even use it as their "supply," so one must careful of that.
I need much work in this area especially when ppl try to coerce me into something.
I want to be patient. I need to work on that.
I can't control others but I can control me (most of the time! 😏). And that patience I exhibit can help others know what that's about. ❤
Patience is Love. I like it. Thank you dr Carter.
Love this one. I am sharing it with myself and will refer to it. Challenging how to be patient with "crisis" oriented people. I feel empathy for their situation but many times, the train wreck is coming and they are sitting on the tracks. I say to my self, the consequences are in their DNA and there's nothing I can do. Not sure. I needed this one. Thanks so much.
Hey Les...pleased this one resonated. Dr. C (the other Les)
Thank you for the practical tips!
1. Be adaptable and flexible within your goals and desires
2. Know when to assert yourself and when to let things roll off your back
3. Accept people for what they are (flaws, limitations etc.) ~no one is perfect~
4. Be persistent and diligent as your pursue your goals (work around difficult tasks or characters)
5. Know what you are responsible for and what is not your responsibility
6. Know what you can and cannot fix (Don't fixate on solving things esp when they can't be)
7. Have back-up plans and have realistic expectations before facing a stressor
8. Know that life is unpredictable- Have empathy (for yourself and others)
I can't wait! (I couldn't resist.)
LOL!! Sage!!😂😂
That's funny!
PATIENCE IS LOVE!!LOVE IS PATIENT!!
Patience keeps me from from getting a headache when people aren't patient.
My highly narc father was extremely impatient. He stressed us all out. Esp on trips by car….
Yeah the timing thing on the drive to the east coast....beat last year's time. You kids took too long to pee let's go!
I have all the patience in the world for children. I have worked with disabled/special children for years. When I know an adult is extremely intelligent & they fail to "listen" intentionally, that is where I need to do a better job. I guess being with a narc they expect everyone to listen, but they epically refuse to be considerate.
Patience (for me) was (is) always difficult when dealing with the narcissist(s) in my life because when chaos is stirred up (by the narcissist’s rush to dismiss, demean, disqualify, or deny,) i tend to feel/desire an even greater sense for the need of peace to be present. I use to think for peace to be present, resolve had to take place. I’m learning resolve is simply a rare jewel when dealing with a narcissist. Coming to terms with this realization has helped me to develop patience with the narcissist (which actually ends up looking more the color of a gray rock than the color of a rare jewel.)
Well said and honest.
Sir I admire the art you have on your walls!
Thanks. My wife, Jennifer, is highly artistic and she is my inspiration. We have it throughout the house. Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter Thanks for your reply. Did Mrs Carter paint them, or choose them? I listen carefully to you but also can't resist absorbing the beauty of the art while learning from your presentations.
L Revere
#8 is really important.
I worked with a guy who was trouble with a capital T and I did not like his impulsive, bullying nature. Even so, he had a saying that added an enduring piece of wisdom to my life:
He would often say, "Twenty years from now, what difference will it make?"
When a situation arises and I feel like jumping in with both feet, I ask myself that question. It always adds the right perspective.
@@Oceans780 When I'm insulted or offended and I want to fight back, I opt for patience by remembering that two wrongs don't make a right. So I ask myself if this is really that important to me or, put another way, in 20 years, what difference will this make to ME. :)
Thank you for your videos
Excellent! Thank you.
Fruits of the Spirit are so sweet. I need to practice this a bit more 🥴
I’ve found to not expect too much from people or situations helps to increase my patience.
I want to watch this now, how ironic! 😂
God bless you sir!
Be patient! Dr. C
Very very very patient for 27 long long long years... 👍
How about not forcing your will on another because of your impatience??
Yes yes patience is a virtue, now what's a virtue? Much love from French Canada 🇨🇦!
🙋♀️ to our Neighbors to the North, from your eternal sister in Christ somewhere near Seattle.
⚘🙏❤🙏⚘
Well that is the flag of All of 🇨🇦 Canada. Your own French flag isn't representative of the country of many languages.
God bless you, dear Dr Carter. This is a lovely talk, every bit of it. Enriching and inspiring.
Yep!
I find as an empath, mostly alone in my world of heightened awareness, I am actually too patient. I have tolerated forever, 70 years, what I feel is unacceptable from my mother, sister, brother, husband, daughter and her husband, that I have “given up.” They will never have, or understand, my standards. So, I bite the bullet, I acquiesce. If I were to leave and seek my ideal lifestyle, I would upset many. So, instead, I accept that I made my bed, I will lie in it. 🙏🏼❤️🕊
Since I’ve learned to pause when agitated,,, breathe and step back. I’ve avoided a lot of calamity and stress !!!
Dr. Carter. Please develop a program for the school systems, this should be viewed and studied in elementary school as these skills, patience, love, decisiveness etc., are the elemental building blocks of forming balanced dynamic human beings.
Patience shows your wisdom and inner peace.
Good morning Gus and the Carter Family. Have a great weekend. There is no other way to live but be patient, time is what we have that is free until we don't. Thank you Doc. 🤗🐶🐶
Even when things aren't going my way ,that's how I'm going to engage with others, the priority to be known for Dr. C''s grounding goodness & love- Free to be patient 💕🤍💙💕🤍💙💕
I just heard a quote I like: when you have lost or not known love you can learn a lot about how NOT to love. Rewrite your story. I know a lot about love and devotion. I will be practicing focusing on patience, loving-kindness, and feeling blessed ---things my ex seems never to have recognized.
Dr. C--- Thank you so much! I never realized just how rare patience is.
Patience is my strongest quality. My wife knows how to trigger my anger---- which I see as passion, but when I try to express myself she will not give any validating feedback until she sees this anger showing through. At that point she focuses on my frustration.
I'm working on it.
"Impatience is the hand that removes the mask to reveal the shadow side of Man."
cc 👀🐡🌿🌾
Patience is love. I need to be more patient when things are not going my way. It's hard, but I will work on it!
Patience means staying in the present moment.
Dr. Carter I would love to know more about how you keep your faith and patience strong... I am sure you are a man with a great deal of faith.
I use to think the gift of patience opened one up to be taken advantage of
Thanks for reminding me otherwise.
Excellent balanced instruction. “You can still be decisive”.Thank you, Dr. C.
Patience is a virtue usually I have even with no anger I asset myself to solve issue diffuse it and bring to order
Achieving patience is something I have been working on recently.
All very good points Dr. Carter.
I believe patience can be acquired by persistent failure or disappointment.
It is a learned virtue fine tuned by personal pressure. “Patience is a virtue.” I don’t exactly know who said this, but I know it to be true.
Impatience only multiplies our problems. Wise words, Dr. C, thank you and blessings from California. 🕊
When it is something I really deeply desire, it is tough. So, I just throw myself back into work. Most of the time patience for me is not a problem. Thanks Doc
"Patience is Love" *Smiles
@ Dr. C and community… I think 🤔 patience is so very important. It can keep you from going down a rabbit hole 🕳 in life that becomes a trap. It helps your mind, body and spirit to be patient. Thank you 🤔❤️🌎🇺🇸❤️🩹
Really like the new opening sequence :) Re patience, I have learned the hard way that the worst possible time to act is when you feel the most like doing something. Often, you have been invited to react by someone who has a covert interest in experiencing your intense emotion; they do this because it's the only way they get any relief. Don't be the lightning rod for someone else's misery.
Very good topic. I am learning patience and doing well with it. I try to stay present, live in the moment, and not label things. Makes for a happy life : D Also, not to expect much from anything. It is adaptation.
The book Margins helped me see how having those contingency plans really is part of giving room for patience.
Yes, I read that one quite a few years ago.
Great video Dr. C. Have a good day
Thanks, Lori...and so far my day is going well! Dr. C
Thank you Dr c for another good video as usual and for being on my journey with me you are greatly appreciated patience is a virtue I've heard that all my life also here's a point there is always more than one solution to every problem if one is patient enough they might see a solution to the problem that no one else sees I am adaptable so that makes me a more patient person than people realize patience is not only a power it is a strength.
You're welcome, Faith. Dr. C
Good Evening, Dr. Carter!
- - From Olympia, Washington State USA @ ~ 17:00 Hours PDT.
A most excellent way of communicating with fellow humans. So much knowledge and common sense. Thank you for what you are doing. You are making a difference. Much appreciated
An Attitude of Gratitude gives you way more Latitude. Including patience and peace. 💋 especially when you heal after a Narc and love YOU ❤️
Patience isn't passive, like Dr. C. says it's knowing the right level of assertiveness.
Many priceless pearls of wisdom in this video. Exercising the virtue of patience, is one of the all time great achievements in living life to the full!!
Dear Dr. C. In your Power of Patience video, I got all the añswers right! I aced that video finally. Not saying I'm perfect now, but more cool than a few days ago, I know, I can't believe it either!
One of the # of the combination to patients is the ability to reason out the pro's and con's of each situation you're dealing with and the wisdom to choose the best scenario for all involved!
So pleased, Phyllis! Dr. C
BRAVO 🙌🏻🙂
Levels of freedom:
Level 1: Free to react.
Level 2: Free to act.
Level 3: Free to be.
Thank you for the education.
I wish I had a friend like mr Carter and his dog . Nice man .
I'd be honored, and so would Gus. Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter
Greetings from Holland .
Thank you Dr C : )
When I'm in a line and I feel stress coming on. I pull out my phone and play solitaire until it's my time.
Constance... Im so happy i read your comment.
I never thought to play solitaire in a line!
Thank you so much!!. I will try solitaire for sure!
An excellent information delivered by the patient and inspirational, Dr Carter. Thank you!
Yes indeed need to work on patience, Lord help me, but also diplomacy is another, Lord help me with that too.
Patience and diplomacy tend to go hand in hand. Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter Thank you DR Carter it
has been a stuggle as so many times people do not want to hear,that happens when you are reguarded as a no body.
@@DrLesCarter No body in mans eyes
but a chld of God in my fathers eyes through his dear son JESUS,If I did not know that Iwould not even be here.
Congratulations. After having watched a large number of videos, I have suddenly switched from drifting and filtering to actually taking notes. Atypical.
Thank you.
It's so hard to stay patient when someone knows your buttons better than you do because you're their lab rat.
Yep, but "Patience POWER" is well worth the agony it is to build. The one that knows your buttons is your patience-building-tool. Bet they don't even know you're "using" them. Moo-ha-ha. The more they war the more you win? Maybe?
@@painteroflove Thank you for this encouragement, it is definitely an appealing and useful idea ;-)
found this intriguing (knows your buttons better than you...) believe this will lead to the feelings of guilt. If you are lashing out or reacting to the pushing of your buttons, you might deep down believe your are the stuff/things you are being called or accused of. That is okay though, as long as you genuinely recognize that part of you and are willing to fix them/it. Staying stuck, without self reflection🪞 prohibits🚫 HEALING 🩹 and CHANGE 🔺️. He who is unwilling to change goes against NATURE, and will not flourish.
This goes to both the 'abuser' & the 'abusee' or the 'narc' & the 'victim'
Thank you Dr. Carter. I am 69 years old and STILL working on this. I wonder if I can achieve it haha.
Thank you for your time too make these videos and your knowledge. Scapegoat.
I practice patience. I have to work on not complaining when certain people and situations get on my last nerve because yes, without patience then I certainly don't want or need the chaos of impatience!!
However, don't be patient with a narc. Nothing will come from it! :-)
@@chriswyma145 True, it's no use. They will future fake, dangle carrots, gaslight you till you think that maybe there's something wrong with you. Meanwhile you're losing time on a person who just doesn't care.
I agree not all merit our patience. For those kinds of people, it can amount to enabling. My patience (among other things) was abused by one. In fact, I've noticed that any positive trait seems to increase their desire and tactics to destroy, defile, or demean it. (It sort of feels like they want everyone to be as miserable as they don't admit they are.) Makes me all the more determined not to become merely a reaction to their lousy behaviors. Sadly, they feed off any disruption of our character, and impatience becomes supply for them. So, given the choice, I'm opting for giving them nothing, neither patience nor impatience.
Successful approximation; story of my life.
I don't have much patience left dealing with 25 years of twisted BS.
Like 'wearing your welcome out', patience can get worn out, too.
@@oxigenarian9763 no, It's not like that at all is it.
@@KoVurt If someone takes advantage of you willfully and repeatedly, you will lose patience. You SHOULD lose patience; there is something completely different going on that patience will never address...
@@oxigenarian9763 i was insulted to my face many times and didnt do anything. It took a week to process and think 'what the f**k?" A week!!!
I would have weird things said to me that held no relevance. I look back now and shudder. I have been asking my trusted friends if I am going insane.
This will be a great one!!
Thanks Dr C. - still working on the too much patience part, now i am aware i have work to do, Merci encore!
Thank you, Doc. Simple and direct. Anyone can bypass ten million other self-help videos on YT by just listening to this one. I also recommend Charles Stanley's series, Waiting on the Lord, for further exposition of patience.
Very inspiring..thanks
A really good reminder, Dr. C! I especially like considering loss of patience as a loss of agency. I'm not sure what being impatient accomplishes, or what it's meant to accomplish, and if they have any correlation. And, given how and who I've seen employ this most often, I don't especially want to count myself among their numbers.
Maybe it would be helpful to keep a sort of "anger-and-patience-journal", in which you observe yourself with regard to these states of mind (without being judgemental): When and how do they arise? What triggers your anger? What is conducive for your patience? What thoughts and emotions arise in connection with patience or anger? What kind of behavior results from them? - And to counteract the power of anger and enhance the strength of patience one could also contemplate such things as the good qualities one can find in other people.
Thank you sir
What mic do you use?! That's crystal clear.
iPhone X. It's time to upgrade. Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter Perhaps so, but still crystal clear. Wow! Thank you for making your videos.
Patience has many unforseen pay offs - curiosity is a great friend of patience, and i'm a very curious sort, indeed (NOT nosey, tho, thank God 😂
I've a pair of narcs - one plays the role of covert and the other, very overt/threatening. They began making renewed contact and i smelled a rat right away, and knew patience would pay off from the get go (I'm in my 60's, and so, i know about these things!) The narrative kept morphing just as i asked key normal questions anyone might ask and as i expressed very politely my disinterest in what they were trying to sell me (which was all b.s. of course). And so, then came the worst sort of accusations that ANYONE could imagine, followed by death threats. Yes. You cant make up the things narcs will do and say. Not incidentally, these are highly educated people - all mafia, tho. ....Prayer and reading the scriptures helps me a LOT, and, your work, too, helps me a LOT, Dr. Les Carter! I tell lots of people about your channels💖
I have a lot of patience. Though when i have to get in a line im a nervous reck. I stand back, when no one is in line i hurry to get to the cashier. All the sudden i hear shuffling feet and sighs. I kinda look and im like, REALLY... A LONG LINE THAT FAST!. So im trying to hurry getting upset that i am.
Or if i am stuck in a line i will sometimes say to someone, oh you can go ahead of me. Then that turns into more then one someone. One time i hear a yell at the cashier ,yelling hey is their a way to pay for this sooner. Then im saying... Im Sorry!
I want to get a t-shirt saying on the back,
" Patient is kindness!"
Finding out my ex has a double life and is now dying from 4 cancers from an std popped my cork big. I was compassionate and helpful at first. Then his going silent and listening to Dr. C, the picture got clear. I am blessed I did not get it (HPV) and it is now obvious he had a double life. Cutting him off as a clearly covert narc this week was very traumatizing. I am still recovering. He owes me tons of money. I am alone and struggling. Forgive me but a pr*ck get a disease there seems like some kind of karma. Hard to learn how I was played and finding you I feel blessed.
Patience is a huge issue for me. Sometimes I just have to not be around people for a while. Actually, my password is “Patience” it used to be Serialkiller. Progress😂
Thanks.
You're welcome. Dr. C
Thank you so much! I needed to hear this.
This drove me more crazy than just about anything else with my husband. He had zero patience with everything! If he asked me to do anything if I didn't jump up immediately and go do it, he would rage.
I really an so surprised at myself now, that I had the patience to deal with him for 20 years
Thanks
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I'm good at being patient with others, but not good at being patient with myself
I keep patient by distracting myself watching psychology videos.
Stop the puritanical part, PLEASE. Ppl going thru the trauma of abuse or anymind need to also hear, “Take breaks from the toxic “people.” Don’t obsess nor ruminate. Go at your own pace - everyone is different.
Hey J L...This video is one of about 250 that I've recorded. I can't address all angles in one segment. All I ask is to consider my entire body of evidence. I have much concern for victims of trauma and abuse. I hope you can receive that from me. Dr. C