Recovery is hard
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2017
- Recovery has proved to be difficult over the last few months. Eating disorder thoughts and behaviours always slip back into my routine during times of stress and I feel angry at myself.
I think it's important to recognise this. Now to move forwards I need to take a few steps back and revise what I have learnt in therapy.
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Thank you so much! I am 32 and I needed this! I was sick 3 times in my teens, now I am sicker then ever, and it is a slippery road. I have been sick now for 3 years the coming spring. I have a really amazing general doctor/physician where I have weekly weigh ins for over a year now. It is hard, really hard, but thank you for beeing honest, and sharing. I don’t wish this life for anyone, but it is also good to not feel so alone. I hope you understand what I mean with that, English is my second language. Keep fighting 💪🏻💕 Johanne, Norway
Keep going strong Johanne! You´re not alone..... I keep battling depression and i´m 36 years old. One thing that i found is that time heals everything. There is always hope. Keep strong!
I am glad that you have a good doctor, it can make all the difference. I hope that you manage to have a happy Christmas, I know that it can be a very stressful time.
Thank you for your well wishes xxx
Good luck Lou, I wish you all the very best :)
I am not sure whether this will be helpful at all, but listening to what you’re saying - this is what kept being on my mind.
Lately I’ve been trying to accept the fact that there’s no “end game”. There’s never going to be “this is it, I’ve reached the end” moment in most things that matter, especially when it comes to mental health.
It has been one and a half years since my mom died - she was struggling with health a lot, and there was a lot in play, including doctor’s incompetence, but a big part of how everything turned out was addiction to alcohol. I saw her having good days and bad days and then again good days. If her health had allowed her to continue on - I strongly believe that even going alcohol free for years - she would still slip sometimes.
I’ve been around many people addicted to smoking - quitting for 4 years, and then slipping into the old habits for few months. Some people got angry, and gave in. Other people calmly accepted it, and fought against it, putting down cigarettes again.
And even if addiction isn’t the best example - the pattern of things going in waves is all over the place.
In meditation. The most basic breathing exercise is following your breath - breathe in.. breathe out, and focusing your mind on only that. And whenever your thoughts slip away - you don’t get angry, you calmly accept the fact, and then refocus. People who meditate years and years still find themselves slipping.
I’ve struggled with minor depression for around two years - it’s waves. Just waves of good days and bad days. Because of my own struggles and curiosity about human mind I’ve read and listened to plenty people experiences with depression and anxiety and I have yet to find one, who would say “I’m done, it’s gone, I won”.
Most people just find that they have to accept their own mental struggle as a part of yourself, that you constantly try to know more, analyze more and then find tools to lower the ratio of bad days. Just like you say in video - you feel like you know what you have to do. I truly believe that’s the core of the ongoing, never-ending co-existing with your mental struggles.
It’s almost like accepting that you are indeed a hamster, and every hamster will get curious about the wheel from time to time, despite wanting to be only out of the cage.
I’m sorry, this is a tired ramble after a long night-shift, but I hope at least a little bit of this made sense. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that there’s plenty of good days and the recovery goes well.
Thank you for your message & for sharing your advice. Eating disorders and depression are often compared to addiction as both are difficult to break away from and control your life.
Meditation is something that has massively helped me, especially when I was starting out in recovery. I guess working towards having more good days and accepting that there will be bad days from time to time is all we can do.
I feel like meditation should be shared more as a practice for helping with depression and anxiety.
Thank you again for sharing this! :)
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” - Confucius
Recovery can be very tough at times. This can be due to stigma that blankets mental health or the lack of an efficient support network. I live in the United Kingdom (and I can tell your accent is English as well), and over here, we have a “stiff upper lip” attitude to adversity in life; but this unfortunately doesn’t work for mental illness. I come from a dysfunctional family prevalent with serious mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety, depression and psychosis. I myself suffer from some of the former. Life can be a living hell. Unfortunately, there is no physical cure for most of these issues. You have to find an emotional cure within yourself.
My advice to you Lotus (such a pretty name btw), is to accept yourself for who you truly are. It will be difficult at times, and I myself occasionally struggle with self-acceptance. You are enough. You are a unique and incredible person, full of passion, informed opinion and artistic expression. And when the road gets tough, just remember that you can be tough as well. I hope we can both get better in the future.
I hope this message finds you recovering and in great health.
Kind regards.
Thank you for sending this :)
There is definitely still a stigma attached to mental illness, I find especially amongst older generations- so hopefully as a society we are learning to be more understanding. You are right, self acceptance is the only real way to face recovery. Its a long learning process, but one that will be worth it.
Thank you for your advice and kindness, I hope you are doing well.
Love the analogy of the hamster and the wheel 🤨 keep fighting chica you can do it ❤️
Thank you for sharing this, you inspire me to try to push trough my issues! It would be great if you do more videos like this, you´re natural talking to the camera.... Inspiring words! Stay strong! Wishing you all the best!
Thank you for your kind words & advice :) x
Thank you for the reply Lou. Keep going strong. You got this! :)
I know that from myself, it IS hard, but you can push trough this
Those are great worksheets to review. Maybe buy an ED recovery workbook to get more active in it again? Are u following any other youtubers who are recovering/recovered?
I have the book 'Overcoming Binge Eating' which is very helpful and applies to other EDs too. I'll have a look at some more! I'm following Valerie Camai and Holly Elizabeth, I think that's it... I'm not really sure who to follow, let me know if you have any suggestions :) xx
Lotus Lou definitely follow Stephmarie she’s very helpful. I wish you the best.
can you do a video on coping with not doing exercise? x
I've wanted to do one for a while now! I will hopefully make it soon xx
thanks so much! I'd love to connect with you. My Instagram is justtravelplaces if you fancy a messenger chat at any point. Support is so important x
Thank you for sharing! xx