Considering my social anxiety goes beyond just introversion, I unfortunately have to go to therapy to manage it. I don’t think it’ll ever go away, but I can learn how to overcome it. What sucks is that I want to interact with people, but my immediate reaction to that is irrational fear.
Absolutely - that fear you feel makes perfect sense. It's there for a reason, to keep you safe in an unpredictable world (at least, that's what your brain is programmed to interpret). Therapy can be a fantastic tool to help you manage that fear because fear is a subject therapists are extremely well versed in and can address very methodically.
"Who is ever going to want to get to know a 5'3 trans male who's got no facial hair yet, who's only 18 years at this point and is very introverted and geeky..." I swear you were in the same room with me. I've dealt with social anxiety ever since I was little, but drawing helped me express myself with others without much words. Illustrating my personal issues through paper helps since most people might not understand how I really feel with my own identity. However, I haven't posted my art outside of school. Ever since I graduated, I feel more alone, even though I didn't have friends at school to begin with. I yearn to control my fear to post my work, but it can become overwhelming. Thank you for posting this, such a perfect timing for me personally.
My therapist suggested that the reason why I have some social anxiety is the belief that I'm not equal to everyone, so she had me recite some positive affirmations to myself such as "I'm equal to everyone and everything." and "the universe is abundant, there's a lot for all of us." It's not been something that's just clicked in my brain, it's been a slow process.
I came to conclusion trough therapy that biggest source of my social anxiety (and I believe this to be true for everyone that suffers from social anxiety) is the trauma of shame since early childhood. In my case, it was so deep that at times I had feeling that people could read my mind and find all of those shameful nasty thoughts I had, and my subconscious instinct was to seclude myself. Over time, that maladaptive coping mechanism just made me more and more isolated from everbody. I still have some ways to go, but I don't freak out at smallest things anymore. Best part is, you don't have to take some drastic huge steps, its best to start small. Shame is one of the most potent authenticity killers out there. Finding where that shame came from in the first place and letting that inner child in you know that it's not their fault and giving them compassion you didn't have when you needed it helps tremendously.
Wow, I relate to this so hard! Even the mind reading thing. It is such an uphill battle working through the shame. I appreciate that you pointed out how important compassion is 😌
This quote i heard from someone and it stills rings when issues like the ones you mentioned in the video come up in life : "When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place",
I came to the 60's conclusion at my 50s... But that's not bad. We give ourselves too much importance in the sense of that hyper focus on our (intensified in artists, writers, and some others) ego, leading this into being less open and ready to giving to others, and as a consequence, makes as being more introvert, closed to people. Going the opposite direction helps such a lot in becoming more extrovert, and deeply happy. In many cases, being more or less egocentric slows or accelerate (respectively) your path to becoming more open and extrovert. Generosity is in the heart of it. Also... never heard it, but the quote might as well refer to how abandoned are some people at their elder years, increasingly so in more developed occidental countries... That's sad and part of another ( *huge* ) problem of our societies, though. Indeed, recent stats speak about how a portion of very young people are too now having a similar level of isolation, due to how things are currently. But IMO, an intellectually, or artistic, etc, "rich" life helps quite with loneliness. Not a full remedy (literally nothing replaces real human contact), but it helps. One of the reasons why I do think Art _as an experience_ will always have a ton of value, and be needed (by humans, and for humans). It's kind of a therapy for many (indeed, recommended as a therapy for several mental health issues).
I needed this, Adam, really.. no, truly! I have been thinking to myself forever, and in those thoughts, there is nothing but shame, sadness, and just so much self-doubt to the point where I am bullying myself at this point. Seeing myself as someone who's only redeemable through my paintings. No, I won't be invisible. There's too much potential in me for all of this to go to waste! Shame on me, only for limiting myself! Adam, I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for everyone here. You are a treasure of a person, you should know that. Your company and the invaluable advice you gave to so many people through your channel... you're just too good to be true. I may have never met you(in person), and you don't know me, but I will never forget you. You're my closest teacher, Adam. Thank you, for everything.❤
Well thank you. No I do not believe that I’m too good to be true, but hopefully I can serve as an example of how imperfect people can strive to be the best version of themselves
This is SUCH good advice, (even beyond the realm of socializing!) There are so many aspects of life where I think remembering to think about others, instead of just being intensely focused on ourselves, can help us gain a lot of clarity and direction.
My elder brother told me also when you have social anxiety, your too wrapped up in yourself and you became too self fish. Your video has became a lot more clear because its the same message but in more detail. Communication has been something I've been working on for the past few months. Thank you for your message
I feel like you just looked straight through the screen at me. This changes everything, thank you. This goes into the "watch this again and again" Playlist for sure
as an artist with autism and chronic illness and a physical disability along with some other challenges i can't "mental discipline" or therapize away that also make holding down jobs difficult, let alone balancing them with making art (whenever i do it, the art has to stop) looking around at the environment for artists now i've resigned myself to just continuing to make the art i want as long as i can and maybe [redacted] myself when i no longer can. i know this trajectory looks like the "starving artists of yore" stereotype than internet famous artists always push us to defy, but no matter what i try, it's the only outcome i can see that takes care of all my problems.
I’m so happy you chimed in on the conversation - for someone in your position, be it autism or ADHD or anything else, it’s imperative that you develop a strong sense of your own rhythm in life What works for the masses might do nothing for you - I had to learn that in my own life after feeling like I couldn’t keep up the struggle, and I’m extremely grateful I did You have a means to be extremely productive and inspired and feel completely at home in your own skin, so long as you do what feels right to you (in combination with professional advice that you feel helps). Ultimately, your uniqueness is extremely capable so long as you learn to harness that frequency that feels right - a life’s pursuit but a worthwhile one
Care about what you have to give to other, and put yourself out there as a helper. You make a presentation in fro't of your class , it is not for the teacher, it is for other students, because you care about them as they share your daily life. Nothing have help me more than that mindset.
What helped me to crack out from that terrible state of sitting alone in front of the tablet in my own room was something that sounds counterintuitive - VR. And more specifically - the social side of it. Thanks to all of it's shenanigans I've managed to meet plenty of folks that at this point are now my closest friends, and despite of living really far away, our group is split from US, to me in Poland and few other Europe-based friends, up towards a Canadian that moved to south east Asia, we're able to all meet every friday for some good old partying. After all, it was inspiring enough that I based my master degree in 'Art of New Media' right on those exact experiences and technology. For me, who really have tons of problem with getting out to people connected mostly to self loathing and other 'usual suspects' that art people go through, it was like a godsend :'^)
Did you use a VR headset or without? Many years ago I used SL but there wasn't many people at the time and I dont own a VR set. But thanks for sharing.
@@Spwookie Personally I hang around with VR hesdset on, but VRChat works fine with just desktop too, actually a huge amount of playerbase is using without HMD
@@Spwookie Yup, Headset + full body tracking for the maximum immersion, but VRChat works just fine on the desktop mode, I actually feel like a majority of people is using it like that.
I am exactely that I don't even wanna socialize but at the same time we can't manage without it your talk helped releave the stress I will try with social media and slowly move to the real world. I am really thankful to you Adam ❤❤
hey Adam thank you for creating these videos. My social anxiety is pretty bad to the point where it is debilitating sometimes. I love connecting with people but sometimes it’s terrifying to just reach out. Your advice is so helpful and insightful. Thank you. 💜
You often say that you are not that smart, but when i listen to you, you always sound like a realy wise man. Thank you for your work. All your talks are very helpful for me.
I just finished watching a bunch of your videos and I can't say enough how much I appreciate your art/life advice and your sincerity to your audience. You are my favorite artist, no person on the internet!
This and the previous video have given me so much to think about. Thank you for the reminder that at the end of the day if I want to connect and communicate with the people around me, I need to properly face them and pay attention. I get easily bogged down by the conviction that I am intruding, or pestering where I’m not welcome, or that what I have to say isn’t going to land. However, a dialogue can’t exist without interaction and openness and assuming it will fail tends to just ensure it doesn’t even happen to begin with. Better to at least open the lines of communication and give it a chance than to shut the door entirely.
I wanted to share some of my own experience with anxiety bc others have here, and it's helped me to read these comments, and I hope to add to that. I'm still working hard on my anxiety, and it goes further than just social for me, but a big thing that helped was realising how selfish my anxiety makes me. I had been putting these negative thoughts onto other people, with no real evidence (except for past experiences with different people) which isn't fair. I thought I was doing people a favour by only being around when asked, or speaking when spoken to, but what was actually happening is these friends had to do all the heavy lifting in the friendship. I wanted to avoid being annoying and making mistakes, but didn't realise that *was* the mistake. It's maddening how anxiety tricks us into thinking we're being selfless when it's the opposite. It's very hard to see when you're really inside of it, and you think you're doing the world a favour by making yourself smaller, but actually, the reverse happens, and you make things harder. Which is silly bc all you really wanted to do was make things easier. You're *supposed* to be a burden to those who love you, and they're supposed to burden you! (obviously, to a point, but just like everything in life- it's about balance)
I always thought if I got good enough at art to impress the big artists I look up to, or that when I got industry work, that I’d have the confidence to put myself out there as a professional and to network and teach etc …but I passed those goals and nothing internally has changed at all. I still feel inadequate, vulnerable, and this paralyzing fear of being seen as egotistical. I’m quickly coming to realize if I can’t bulldoze through the anxiety and provide a valuable human connection alongside the skills I have no future in art.
You always post videos, that i personally need at the moment. You're timing is so perfect, it really doesn't feel like a coincidence anymore :). Next week I'm presenting a big animation project in front of my professors and professionals. I obviously have to put on a show and explain my project well, but i often get nervous, not really confident of my work, how i look to other people, way too careful how well a choose the words, thinking I'll screw it up somehow and run away in shame. This thought have been hunting me for months. I've never thought about thinking about it in third person, get out of my head. All I actually need is one person smiling, liking my work. It'll definitely take more time, more presentations. But now kinda excited to try out this mindset on stage. Thank you so much! You're videos are life changing ❤️
Oh fun!! Well that’s a perfect opportunity to really SELL your idea One of the most fun animation jobs out there is storyboarding because you need to act out scenes to get everyone emotionally invested in what’s going on Good luck with your presentation!
This really resonates with me, there have been so many nights out where I have vanished because inwas overwhelmed with anxiety but maybe if I direct my mind more outside my body I'll feel better, more on others.
I think something else that makes it incredibly difficult is the stakes. Of being in a position of actual literal insecurity - social, fiscal, emotional. The fact that so much is riding on the performance going well, and if I fuck up and do something to make it not only not go well but go less than perfectly, that'll cascade into a lot of terrible shit; and the pressure of that almost forces a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of when you're in a bad place to begin with and your art is all you have and you rely on that to make a living but you're still not yet that good. Another confounding issue is, let's say you do turn your focus outward on helping others, but then constantly being rejected and ghosted and made to feel like you don't exist even when you try to put yourself out there repeatedly, even when you try to be of cheerful service, year in, year out, but only ever getting punished for your efforts. It can be hard to shake the feeling of rejection and so you learn to not even try because whether you try or not, the result is ultimately the same.
I think your second point is still you focusing on yourself, not on others. Maybe they rejected based on their own anxiety, too. Maybe it wasn't you at all. It's def hard to shake such ingrained feelings, and I think self-reflection is good to a point, but I think the general point is that you should focus on yourself a little less c:
@@eladray It's moreso a point about how you can't give endlessly because you don't have infinite resources to give. Eventually, your well will run dry if you aren't being replenished and reciprocated in some way. Once is an accident, twice a coincidence, three times a pattern. What are the odds that every person in the hundred who rejected you did so because of them with nothing to do with you, when the only common denominator is you?
OMG! A study like you mention was done on horses. Police, show, and race horses have the same levels of anxiety as green horses do when presented with a large crowd. It's just that the seasoned horses cope better. They don't buck, bolt, and rear when stressed out by a large crowd.
ive pretty much quit art all together, you have to have strong social abilities to sell yourself, which i dont. on top of that the recent arrival of AI which will allow the corporations to pretty much just steal what they want from us with impunity is the final nail in the coffin for me. when i look around and see some of my favorite artists struggling it really just makes me think ive wasted most of my youth going down the wrong path in life tbh. i have nothing left to contribute to modern society
The things you’ve listed are either the background elements of life or afflictions that are not permanent. The only thing that really matters is whether or not you enjoy making art and whether or not you want to share your art with others. People and artist alike have survived moments in history were their homes and countries were taken from or they have been taken from their homes for years, sometimes never to return. The things that are happening in society though strenuous, are irrelevant to your growth as an artist. A world without human expression is a terrible thing and the industry will realize and repent this error in the future. As for you, not your problems. Social inability is not a fact of life but rather something you can slowly work on and improve over time. There are plenty of resources to help with this, the only thing required of you is the will to seek them out and a genuine want to get better.
you dont have to make a living with your art .. if you see the value of art in its commercial value then maybe art isnt for you but let me tell you when you truly love what you do youre still gonna do it even if nobody sees and nobody cares
"but when you turn red on your face..." Sadly that is not inside of my control. Especially I get red a lot, not only when I am embarrassed. But I do agree on all of those points. Great Video :)
Echoing what Adam said if you are an artist that wants to be seen, you were born for this. To all the men, it doesn't matter if you have facial hair or not, get your opportunity king. 🏳️🌈💖
Thank you for this video! As usually I’m painting while listening to your videos and this one really hit hard. As a former extroverted who’s struggling to even be around her real life friends now, I’m having an extra hard time to deal with talking to strangers (for work), getting calls or messages and even going to parties. I feel like I don’t fit around people anymore. 😂😂😂 anyone else? 😢
Okay, not 18 but dang felt called out right there when you said that. I Yet again you share a video that is thought provoking and an eye opener. Thank you now and always for the wisdom, insight, and honestly so much more.
Hey Adam, thanks for the video! Even though I think some of the tipps are great, I would still be a little careful with it. These tipps might apply to people that struggle a bit with Social Awkwardness. However. Social Anxiety disorder is something broader and first of all we need to understand what anxiety is at it's core. and what it's primal function is. (because yes, Anxiety in it's core is a primal function that granted our survival back in the cave times.) So...some people might have more anxiety than other people so you can't really compare the anxiety of one person to another. Especially not with knowing where the anxiety is coming from, how deeply it is rooted in someone etc. Comparing yourself to Lady Gaga might not be the smartest thing here then because in some folks, it's not them responding. The Anxiety is so severe that their nervous system is straight up responding which leads up into blushing, stuttering...all these things that society sees as "uncomfortable!" and believe me , no matter how much we like to tell ourselfs it's normal. The head usually is filled with a high amount of irrational thoughts. Kind of like wielding a car on a icy roat and no matter how hard you hit the brake in order to regulate your speed, your car keeps sliding. ...Anxiety (especially if it's pathological or if it's disregulated) is the same. Maybe Lady gaga has found smart ways to drift over the ice with her sliding car (or she simply likes the drill and is in full control over it. For others this might be dangerous.... But what can we do in order to deal with anxiety. Once we recognize that anxiety is interfearing with our daily lifes, it might be good to seek professional help in form of a therapy. To stay with the car metapher. You need to prep your car for the icy roat and see, why the brake didn't work. Or in other terms. Figuring out where the fear is coming from can help regulating it. One good therapy form for it is cognitive Behavial therapy where you slowly replace the negative thought patterns with positive ones. But be patient. take your time. If you need another metaphor for anxiety. Gobelins did a cool short movie about it called "In Between" where the anxiety is represented by a blue crocodile and it shows , what anxiety feels like (while the main protagonist is going to therapy as well in order to tame her crocodile)
17:31 I just left and looked up for that Video 👍👍 Shit happens when you Disrespect a Musical instrument In India We Bow down and Worship our Musical Instruments and All the Equipment
@@AdamDuffArt Thank you! I really needed to hear that. A lot of people around me says otherwise but it makes me glad to know that being nervous is okay.
recently i had to do a 7 minute presentation for class about a really interesting book i read and i started preparing for it a week before, and i was so anxious i literally couldnt form a single coherent thought for a whole week which then in turn made me incapable of writing a good presentation and because i KNEW how horrible it was i was even more anxious so when it came time to present it i literally kinda gave up and started stuttering and skipping half the text i prepared because while i was presenting i truly realized what a SHIT presentation it is but alas i still forced myself to go up there and do it anyway even though i wanted to run away, and by doing that more and more i didnt really get better at presenting or speaking but at least it kinda made me immune to embarassment because at this point ive made a fool of myself in front of others so many times i just dont care anymore so i guess i have that going for me lmao
I would like to thank you Mr. Adam the films you create are a great fuel and support for me not to give up in my dreams. I hope this comment will fill with the motivation you give me and many others. With that said i love u too with my all heart. Oh btw your video must have worked because it's my first comment in English haha Greetings from Poland
That was great Adam, but for the ordinary introvert confidence is key, and how do you get that? Well I'm not in your country, but have a teenage granddaugter who is extremely introverted and she had big ideas on being seen in public. She has been taking drama lessons for about six months with her peers and it's working and she loves it! They are currently practising interview techniques, but are unaware as of yet what they are doing. It's a very clever way to get confident and face the world. Another place for others is karate or other martial arts they can teach confidence. I found it to be excellent for myself for a number of reasons. Being thrown in the deep end and teaching a class to the public does stretch your ability to get over shyness and promote confidence. Then there's Toast Masters which is still going strong, that teaches a person to talk in front of an audience, it works too.
I loved the late video, you put A LOT of important videos but this one really stuck to me for weeks! but yes, I agree it was a bit unfinished >.< I kept theoryzing what i could do to reach out better and it would be awesome if the video has tips and tricks too, and now you did it! Awesome!
Thank you so much for these videos. They've been very helpful. Do you have any advice for someone who's fallen out of love with art and creating? How do I recover from a 10 year creative block? How do I fall back in love with art?
I love your tutorials and art talk. It contains so much useful information that I can use. I have a question how do you deal with stagnation in art, where it seems you are not improving in spite of all the exercises/ practices done.
You might as well have been speaking to me directly, a socially awkward 5'2" trans man. Thanks for the reminder, Adam, I need to remember to get out of my head.
Adam, thank you so much for these conversations. They help me bring my world back into focus and push through so many challenges in my life. And I always discover them exactly when I'm meant to.
For some reason in my fine arts school, the students are mostly very anti social and keep themselves in their groups. Is this how most artists are, weirdos that can't really communicate or make friends?
This video is missing the part about learning public speaking. One can't overcome social anxiety without being able to speak well. The artists mentioned in this video are introverts and don't talk much to exercise their speaking skills.
Adam l loved you so much but recently well, isn't that recently) your content is so depressing and I am not willing to watch. Not all artists are socially awkward or having hard times... At least pls have some cheerful content, this is too much
Adam, I swear- you're the uncle Iroh of the art community. I Don't know what we'd do without you're advice.
Considering my social anxiety goes beyond just introversion, I unfortunately have to go to therapy to manage it. I don’t think it’ll ever go away, but I can learn how to overcome it. What sucks is that I want to interact with people, but my immediate reaction to that is irrational fear.
Absolutely - that fear you feel makes perfect sense. It's there for a reason, to keep you safe in an unpredictable world (at least, that's what your brain is programmed to interpret). Therapy can be a fantastic tool to help you manage that fear because fear is a subject therapists are extremely well versed in and can address very methodically.
"Who is ever going to want to get to know a 5'3 trans male who's got no facial hair yet, who's only 18 years at this point and is very introverted and geeky..." I swear you were in the same room with me. I've dealt with social anxiety ever since I was little, but drawing helped me express myself with others without much words. Illustrating my personal issues through paper helps since most people might not understand how I really feel with my own identity. However, I haven't posted my art outside of school. Ever since I graduated, I feel more alone, even though I didn't have friends at school to begin with. I yearn to control my fear to post my work, but it can become overwhelming. Thank you for posting this, such a perfect timing for me personally.
My therapist suggested that the reason why I have some social anxiety is the belief that I'm not equal to everyone, so she had me recite some positive affirmations to myself such as "I'm equal to everyone and everything." and "the universe is abundant, there's a lot for all of us." It's not been something that's just clicked in my brain, it's been a slow process.
I came to conclusion trough therapy that biggest source of my social anxiety (and I believe this to be true for everyone that suffers from social anxiety) is the trauma of shame since early childhood. In my case, it was so deep that at times I had feeling that people could read my mind and find all of those shameful nasty thoughts I had, and my subconscious instinct was to seclude myself. Over time, that maladaptive coping mechanism just made me more and more isolated from everbody. I still have some ways to go, but I don't freak out at smallest things anymore. Best part is, you don't have to take some drastic huge steps, its best to start small. Shame is one of the most potent authenticity killers out there. Finding where that shame came from in the first place and letting that inner child in you know that it's not their fault and giving them compassion you didn't have when you needed it helps tremendously.
Same shame so much shame and for what guilt over nothing
Wow, I relate to this so hard! Even the mind reading thing. It is such an uphill battle working through the shame. I appreciate that you pointed out how important compassion is 😌
Hey! I agree with that. And having compassion for one’s own inner child is a big part of how I got better. Thanks for sharing :)
This quote i heard from someone and it stills rings when issues like the ones you mentioned in the video come up in life : "When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place",
I came to the 60's conclusion at my 50s... But that's not bad. We give ourselves too much importance in the sense of that hyper focus on our (intensified in artists, writers, and some others) ego, leading this into being less open and ready to giving to others, and as a consequence, makes as being more introvert, closed to people. Going the opposite direction helps such a lot in becoming more extrovert, and deeply happy. In many cases, being more or less egocentric slows or accelerate (respectively) your path to becoming more open and extrovert. Generosity is in the heart of it. Also... never heard it, but the quote might as well refer to how abandoned are some people at their elder years, increasingly so in more developed occidental countries... That's sad and part of another ( *huge* ) problem of our societies, though. Indeed, recent stats speak about how a portion of very young people are too now having a similar level of isolation, due to how things are currently. But IMO, an intellectually, or artistic, etc, "rich" life helps quite with loneliness. Not a full remedy (literally nothing replaces real human contact), but it helps. One of the reasons why I do think Art _as an experience_ will always have a ton of value, and be needed (by humans, and for humans). It's kind of a therapy for many (indeed, recommended as a therapy for several mental health issues).
I needed this, Adam, really.. no, truly! I have been thinking to myself forever, and in those thoughts, there is nothing but shame, sadness, and just so much self-doubt to the point where I am bullying myself at this point. Seeing myself as someone who's only redeemable through my paintings. No, I won't be invisible. There's too much potential in me for all of this to go to waste! Shame on me, only for limiting myself! Adam, I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for everyone here. You are a treasure of a person, you should know that. Your company and the invaluable advice you gave to so many people through your channel... you're just too good to be true. I may have never met you(in person), and you don't know me, but I will never forget you. You're my closest teacher, Adam. Thank you, for everything.❤
Well thank you. No I do not believe that I’m too good to be true, but hopefully I can serve as an example of how imperfect people can strive to be the best version of themselves
This is SUCH good advice, (even beyond the realm of socializing!) There are so many aspects of life where I think remembering to think about others, instead of just being intensely focused on ourselves, can help us gain a lot of clarity and direction.
Well thank you Leanne, it means a lot to me to know you feel that way :)
@@AdamDuffArt thank YOU for always sharing your wisdom with us!!
My elder brother told me also when you have social anxiety, your too wrapped up in yourself and you became too self fish. Your video has became a lot more clear because its the same message but in more detail. Communication has been something I've been working on for the past few months. Thank you for your message
I feel like you just looked straight through the screen at me. This changes everything, thank you. This goes into the "watch this again and again" Playlist for sure
as an artist with autism and chronic illness and a physical disability along with some other challenges i can't "mental discipline" or therapize away that also make holding down jobs difficult, let alone balancing them with making art (whenever i do it, the art has to stop) looking around at the environment for artists now i've resigned myself to just continuing to make the art i want as long as i can and maybe [redacted] myself when i no longer can. i know this trajectory looks like the "starving artists of yore" stereotype than internet famous artists always push us to defy, but no matter what i try, it's the only outcome i can see that takes care of all my problems.
I’m so happy you chimed in on the conversation - for someone in your position, be it autism or ADHD or anything else, it’s imperative that you develop a strong sense of your own rhythm in life
What works for the masses might do nothing for you - I had to learn that in my own life after feeling like I couldn’t keep up the struggle, and I’m extremely grateful I did
You have a means to be extremely productive and inspired and feel completely at home in your own skin, so long as you do what feels right to you (in combination with professional advice that you feel helps). Ultimately, your uniqueness is extremely capable so long as you learn to harness that frequency that feels right - a life’s pursuit but a worthwhile one
Care about what you have to give to other, and put yourself out there as a helper. You make a presentation in fro't of your class , it is not for the teacher, it is for other students, because you care about them as they share your daily life. Nothing have help me more than that mindset.
What helped me to crack out from that terrible state of sitting alone in front of the tablet in my own room was something that sounds counterintuitive - VR. And more specifically - the social side of it. Thanks to all of it's shenanigans I've managed to meet plenty of folks that at this point are now my closest friends, and despite of living really far away, our group is split from US, to me in Poland and few other Europe-based friends, up towards a Canadian that moved to south east Asia, we're able to all meet every friday for some good old partying. After all, it was inspiring enough that I based my master degree in 'Art of New Media' right on those exact experiences and technology. For me, who really have tons of problem with getting out to people connected mostly to self loathing and other 'usual suspects' that art people go through, it was like a godsend :'^)
Did you use a VR headset or without? Many years ago I used SL but there wasn't many people at the time and I dont own a VR set. But thanks for sharing.
@@Spwookie Personally I hang around with VR hesdset on, but VRChat works fine with just desktop too, actually a huge amount of playerbase is using without HMD
@@Spwookie Yup, Headset + full body tracking for the maximum immersion, but VRChat works just fine on the desktop mode, I actually feel like a majority of people is using it like that.
I am exactely that I don't even wanna socialize but at the same time we can't manage without it your talk helped releave the stress I will try with social media and slowly move to the real world. I am really thankful to you Adam ❤❤
hey Adam thank you for creating these videos. My social anxiety is pretty bad to the point where it is debilitating sometimes. I love connecting with people but sometimes it’s terrifying to just reach out. Your advice is so helpful and insightful. Thank you. 💜
You often say that you are not that smart, but when i listen to you, you always sound like a realy wise man. Thank you for your work. All your talks are very helpful for me.
Ive been slipping into old anxious patterns and this helped me so much!! Thank you
I just finished watching a bunch of your videos and I can't say enough how much I appreciate your art/life advice and your sincerity to your audience. You are my favorite artist, no person on the internet!
I really appreaciate these kinds of videos. They're really important for me and soo many other people in this community. So I'd like to say thank you.
You are so very welcome Rutten :)
This and the previous video have given me so much to think about. Thank you for the reminder that at the end of the day if I want to connect and communicate with the people around me, I need to properly face them and pay attention. I get easily bogged down by the conviction that I am intruding, or pestering where I’m not welcome, or that what I have to say isn’t going to land. However, a dialogue can’t exist without interaction and openness and assuming it will fail tends to just ensure it doesn’t even happen to begin with. Better to at least open the lines of communication and give it a chance than to shut the door entirely.
I wanted to share some of my own experience with anxiety bc others have here, and it's helped me to read these comments, and I hope to add to that.
I'm still working hard on my anxiety, and it goes further than just social for me, but a big thing that helped was realising how selfish my anxiety makes me. I had been putting these negative thoughts onto other people, with no real evidence (except for past experiences with different people) which isn't fair. I thought I was doing people a favour by only being around when asked, or speaking when spoken to, but what was actually happening is these friends had to do all the heavy lifting in the friendship. I wanted to avoid being annoying and making mistakes, but didn't realise that *was* the mistake. It's maddening how anxiety tricks us into thinking we're being selfless when it's the opposite. It's very hard to see when you're really inside of it, and you think you're doing the world a favour by making yourself smaller, but actually, the reverse happens, and you make things harder. Which is silly bc all you really wanted to do was make things easier.
You're *supposed* to be a burden to those who love you, and they're supposed to burden you! (obviously, to a point, but just like everything in life- it's about balance)
I always thought if I got good enough at art to impress the big artists I look up to, or that when I got industry work, that I’d have the confidence to put myself out there as a professional and to network and teach etc …but I passed those goals and nothing internally has changed at all. I still feel inadequate, vulnerable, and this paralyzing fear of being seen as egotistical. I’m quickly coming to realize if I can’t bulldoze through the anxiety and provide a valuable human connection alongside the skills I have no future in art.
This really couldn't have come at a better time, because I'm going to my first art event in about a half an hour haha. Thank you.
You always post videos, that i personally need at the moment. You're timing is so perfect, it really doesn't feel like a coincidence anymore :).
Next week I'm presenting a big animation project in front of my professors and professionals. I obviously have to put on a show and explain my project well, but i often get nervous, not really confident of my work, how i look to other people, way too careful how well a choose the words, thinking I'll screw it up somehow and run away in shame. This thought have been hunting me for months.
I've never thought about thinking about it in third person, get out of my head. All I actually need is one person smiling, liking my work.
It'll definitely take more time, more presentations. But now kinda excited to try out this mindset on stage.
Thank you so much! You're videos are life changing ❤️
Oh fun!! Well that’s a perfect opportunity to really SELL your idea
One of the most fun animation jobs out there is storyboarding because you need to act out scenes to get everyone emotionally invested in what’s going on
Good luck with your presentation!
@@AdamDuffArt thank you so much!
This really resonates with me, there have been so many nights out where I have vanished because inwas overwhelmed with anxiety but maybe if I direct my mind more outside my body I'll feel better, more on others.
This is so important. Thank you, Adam! 🙏🏻
I think something else that makes it incredibly difficult is the stakes. Of being in a position of actual literal insecurity - social, fiscal, emotional. The fact that so much is riding on the performance going well, and if I fuck up and do something to make it not only not go well but go less than perfectly, that'll cascade into a lot of terrible shit; and the pressure of that almost forces a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of when you're in a bad place to begin with and your art is all you have and you rely on that to make a living but you're still not yet that good.
Another confounding issue is, let's say you do turn your focus outward on helping others, but then constantly being rejected and ghosted and made to feel like you don't exist even when you try to put yourself out there repeatedly, even when you try to be of cheerful service, year in, year out, but only ever getting punished for your efforts. It can be hard to shake the feeling of rejection and so you learn to not even try because whether you try or not, the result is ultimately the same.
I think your second point is still you focusing on yourself, not on others. Maybe they rejected based on their own anxiety, too. Maybe it wasn't you at all. It's def hard to shake such ingrained feelings, and I think self-reflection is good to a point, but I think the general point is that you should focus on yourself a little less c:
@@eladray It's moreso a point about how you can't give endlessly because you don't have infinite resources to give. Eventually, your well will run dry if you aren't being replenished and reciprocated in some way. Once is an accident, twice a coincidence, three times a pattern. What are the odds that every person in the hundred who rejected you did so because of them with nothing to do with you, when the only common denominator is you?
OMG! A study like you mention was done on horses. Police, show, and race horses have the same levels of anxiety as green horses do when presented with a large crowd. It's just that the seasoned horses cope better. They don't buck, bolt, and rear when stressed out by a large crowd.
I seriously think you should write a philosophical book about art and life itself. I mean, artists can really benefit from your wisdom.
You have great timing, I am working on this and need more tips. Thank you!
ive pretty much quit art all together, you have to have strong social abilities to sell yourself, which i dont. on top of that the recent arrival of AI which will allow the corporations to pretty much just steal what they want from us with impunity is the final nail in the coffin for me. when i look around and see some of my favorite artists struggling it really just makes me think ive wasted most of my youth going down the wrong path in life tbh. i have nothing left to contribute to modern society
The things you’ve listed are either the background elements of life or afflictions that are not permanent. The only thing that really matters is whether or not you enjoy making art and whether or not you want to share your art with others.
People and artist alike have survived moments in history were their homes and countries were taken from or they have been taken from their homes for years, sometimes never to return. The things that are happening in society though strenuous, are irrelevant to your growth as an artist. A world without human expression is a terrible thing and the industry will realize and repent this error in the future.
As for you, not your problems. Social inability is not a fact of life but rather something you can slowly work on and improve over time. There are plenty of resources to help with this, the only thing required of you is the will to seek them out and a genuine want to get better.
you dont have to make a living with your art .. if you see the value of art in its commercial value then maybe art isnt for you but let me tell you when you truly love what you do youre still gonna do it even if nobody sees and nobody cares
ive been dealing a lot with this issue recently. tysm for this !!
"but when you turn red on your face..." Sadly that is not inside of my control. Especially I get red a lot, not only when I am embarrassed. But I do agree on all of those points. Great Video :)
Echoing what Adam said if you are an artist that wants to be seen, you were born for this. To all the men, it doesn't matter if you have facial hair or not, get your opportunity king. 🏳️🌈💖
It's exactly what I needed to hear, thank you Adam❤
you are an amazing man
Thank you for this video! As usually I’m painting while listening to your videos and this one really hit hard. As a former extroverted who’s struggling to even be around her real life friends now, I’m having an extra hard time to deal with talking to strangers (for work), getting calls or messages and even going to parties. I feel like I don’t fit around people anymore. 😂😂😂 anyone else? 😢
I've never thought about it like this, thank you for this Adam, this really opened my eyes to a new perspective!
oh gods yes i need this! human stuff terrify me i need to fix this post haste!
Yep, as it does for a HUGE number of us - you are definitely not alone in your worries, but it's very manageable and very overcomable :)
Okay, not 18 but dang felt called out right there when you said that. I Yet again you share a video that is thought provoking and an eye opener. Thank you now and always for the wisdom, insight, and honestly so much more.
Hey Adam, thanks for the video! Even though I think some of the tipps are great, I would still be a little careful with it.
These tipps might apply to people that struggle a bit with Social Awkwardness. However. Social Anxiety disorder is something broader and first of all we need to understand what anxiety is at it's core. and what it's primal function is. (because yes, Anxiety in it's core is a primal function that granted our survival back in the cave times.)
So...some people might have more anxiety than other people so you can't really compare the anxiety of one person to another. Especially not with knowing where the anxiety is coming from, how deeply it is rooted in someone etc. Comparing yourself to Lady Gaga might not be the smartest thing here then because in some folks, it's not them responding. The Anxiety is so severe that their nervous system is straight up responding which leads up into blushing, stuttering...all these things that society sees as "uncomfortable!" and believe me , no matter how much we like to tell ourselfs it's normal. The head usually is filled with a high amount of irrational thoughts. Kind of like wielding a car on a icy roat and no matter how hard you hit the brake in order to regulate your speed, your car keeps sliding. ...Anxiety (especially if it's pathological or if it's disregulated) is the same. Maybe Lady gaga has found smart ways to drift over the ice with her sliding car (or she simply likes the drill and is in full control over it. For others this might be dangerous....
But what can we do in order to deal with anxiety. Once we recognize that anxiety is interfearing with our daily lifes, it might be good to seek professional help in form of a therapy. To stay with the car metapher. You need to prep your car for the icy roat and see, why the brake didn't work. Or in other terms. Figuring out where the fear is coming from can help regulating it. One good therapy form for it is cognitive Behavial therapy where you slowly replace the negative thought patterns with positive ones. But be patient. take your time.
If you need another metaphor for anxiety. Gobelins did a cool short movie about it called "In Between" where the anxiety is represented by a blue crocodile and it shows , what anxiety feels like (while the main protagonist is going to therapy as well in order to tame her crocodile)
17:31 I just left and looked up for that Video 👍👍
Shit happens when you Disrespect a Musical instrument
In India We Bow down and Worship our Musical Instruments and All the Equipment
Needed this. I don’t have social anxiety but i am nervous to be out.
I totally get that but don’t be too hard on yourself - you aren’t weird for feeling uncomfortable, it’s totally normal and it does pass :)
@@AdamDuffArt Thank you! I really needed to hear that. A lot of people around me says otherwise but it makes me glad to know that being nervous is okay.
recently i had to do a 7 minute presentation for class about a really interesting book i read and i started preparing for it a week before, and i was so anxious i literally couldnt form a single coherent thought for a whole week which then in turn made me incapable of writing a good presentation and because i KNEW how horrible it was i was even more anxious so when it came time to present it i literally kinda gave up and started stuttering and skipping half the text i prepared because while i was presenting i truly realized what a SHIT presentation it is but alas i still forced myself to go up there and do it anyway even though i wanted to run away, and by doing that more and more i didnt really get better at presenting or speaking but at least it kinda made me immune to embarassment because at this point ive made a fool of myself in front of others so many times i just dont care anymore so i guess i have that going for me lmao
I would like to thank you Mr. Adam the films you create are a great fuel and support for me not to give up in my dreams. I hope this comment will fill with the motivation you give me and many others. With that said i love u too with my all heart.
Oh btw your video must have worked because it's my first comment in English haha
Greetings from Poland
That was great Adam, but for the ordinary introvert confidence is key, and how do you get that? Well I'm not in your country, but have a teenage granddaugter who is extremely introverted and she had big ideas on being seen in public. She has been taking drama lessons for about six months with her peers and it's working and she loves it! They are currently practising interview techniques, but are unaware as of yet what they are doing. It's a very clever way to get confident and face the world. Another place for others is karate or other martial arts they can teach confidence. I found it to be excellent for myself for a number of reasons. Being thrown in the deep end and teaching a class to the public does stretch your ability to get over shyness and promote confidence. Then there's Toast Masters which is still going strong, that teaches a person to talk in front of an audience, it works too.
I loved the late video, you put A LOT of important videos but this one really stuck to me for weeks! but yes, I agree it was a bit unfinished >.< I kept theoryzing what i could do to reach out better and it would be awesome if the video has tips and tricks too, and now you did it! Awesome!
This is the video I needed!
Maybe i should write you after thinking about it for two years or so. But I guess now many people will write you 😄 anyways luv ya man.
Great advice. Thanks.
Awesome Words Bro
Thanks on part of All
God Bless Ya
God bless you too my friend :)
Thank you so much for these videos. They've been very helpful. Do you have any advice for someone who's fallen out of love with art and creating? How do I recover from a 10 year creative block? How do I fall back in love with art?
Great vid man
Thank you ❤
Finely this video is out, I need it so much 😹
Thank you for the wonderful videos:)
Excellent video Adam.
Video starts at 16:24
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I love your tutorials and art talk. It contains so much useful information that I can use. I have a question how do you deal with stagnation in art, where it seems you are not improving in spite of all the exercises/ practices done.
Great words!
You might as well have been speaking to me directly, a socially awkward 5'2" trans man. Thanks for the reminder, Adam, I need to remember to get out of my head.
This is so important, ☺☺☺
Adam, thank you so much for these conversations. They help me bring my world back into focus and push through so many challenges in my life. And I always discover them exactly when I'm meant to.
THANK YOU
For some reason in my fine arts school, the students are mostly very anti social and keep themselves in their groups. Is this how most artists are, weirdos that can't really communicate or make friends?
This video is missing the part about learning public speaking. One can't overcome social anxiety without being able to speak well. The artists mentioned in this video are introverts and don't talk much to exercise their speaking skills.
Wow exactly what I was wondering Lol
❤
13:48 😊
How Many of You Smiled ?
Well, smile or feel extremely awkward cause a strange man is staring at you like he can see through your head
Adam l loved you so much but recently well, isn't that recently) your content is so depressing and I am not willing to watch.
Not all artists are socially awkward or having hard times...
At least pls have some cheerful content, this is too much
You got it - duly noted :) - and I agree