Rebound Relationships - Am I Just A Rebound? | Coach Court
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin talks about what happens when you realize that you were the rebound. Start your growth by booking a 30 Minute Coaching Session with me: www.fruitfulse...
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In this video we will explore whether, Am i a rebound, am i his rebound, phases of a rebound relationship, stages of a rebound, relationship being a rebound.
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Video Title: Rebound Relationships - Am I Just A Rebound? How To Handle Being A Rebound ? Imp Signs | Coach Court
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Would love to hear a rebound story from the dumpers perspective. So if anyone would share their story that would be so interesting! 😯
In my life, I've been shot and I've been stabbed. I would rather endure those 2 incidents 5 times over than I would being used as a rebound again. This is torturous.
😢
Being a rebound is a real trauma
Yeah. I'm beyond traumatized and broken
@@feynou I can promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not be what we desired during the trauma period, but you do find that reason that pulls you out of that hell.
I went through cancer and the pain from the rebound was much worse. W c fields Once said,, The women are nice to look at, but I Wouldn't want one to own 1. Met this amazing woman 6 years ago. She was out of a 2 year relationship for 4 months... I thought this was it. She wrote motorcycles. She had a professional job. Her house was paid for she was hot looking killer body. Beautiful voice, great cook affectionate. She hiked she biked she did anything. Any man would have snagged her up. I was not needy, I was not over pursuing. I just dated her she started chasing me. Everything was going great for 2 months. I want to her house because she invited me for dinner. And when I walked in I could feel something was off my gut feeling. Remember your gut tells you the truth. She was acting off key little bitchi. I was there for a couple hours. No invitation to stay over. Kissed her Good night, and that was it never saw her again. I was ghosted. I reached out a week later and said Hey, let's get together. She said too soon to start a relationship with somebody new, we can be friends. I said no to the friendship romance only. Long story short, her ex showed up the day before. She went back to him for 2 more years. And now they're broke off again. I run into her periodically. She lives 40 miles away. I matter 60 miles away in the middle of the woods. Just saw her New Year's Eve standing next door and didn't even know it. On a hike. She said hi to me. Now, this is 6 years later. After I dated her for 2 months. I said we should get together sometime. She told me. I don't want to date anymore. Men and I want to be alone. So now we have a new cat lady. This girl was amazing too bad. I couldn't get over her. I never contacted her ever. But ran into her 6 times in 6 years. Beware of rebounds, or you will burn.🔥
Rebounds have no emotional connection and everything is forced in my experience
Agreed
Never again. If a girl mention her ex more than once I’m out. I rather be alone than go throw that again. I’ll literally walk out right there on the spot
I was used as a rebound for 6 months we moved in together and all I was so blind to see the red flags right in my face , I ended up getting so hurt in the end. Make sure you see the red flags!!!!!!
when did they start to pull away? 5 months? my friend was used as a rebound as well.
You wait at least a year to move in with somebody too. Soon too fast. Never move in just date and have fun.
In the process of learning about rebounds and hoping to get my EX back, I realized that I WAS his rebound. In hindsight, our relationship checked all the boxes that made it a rebound.
My heart is broken. I fell in love with this man. From start to finish it was 5 months, although in month 4 it was essentially over. I started no contact as soon as the breakup was over, searching to find hope before I finally identified the nature of our relationship. I think he started communicating and seeing her before we finally separated because he was getting very scarce and pulling away.
It’s a painful lesson. I still love him and it has been 3 months since we ended it. I feel like such a fool. I failed to listen to my gut about 3 months into the relationship. 😢
Thank you for being a rare Coach willing to talk about the ‘other’ side of a rebound. ❤
Absolutely
Hope you are doing better now. And please, never do that to someone. You know how it feels to be used (as do i...)
My husband left me and jumped right into a relationship almost immediately. Now that I'm looking back on our relationship and conversations that we had. Though we lasted for 5 years and started a family I realized I was a rebound
How that really hurts
I was in a rebound Dated this girl. 2 months the chemistry was through the roof we had so many like likes same interest. We loved Same foods even our zodiac signs were a perfect match. She loved bomb me Text me daily, she called me. I was not needy not over pursuing. I was spot on. it was on. I thought this is the girl. I'm going to Mary. It was just too good to be true and then I was ghosted. I was to her house one evening for dinner. And something seemed off your gut feeling ...She was bitchy and I'm thinking what's going on here. And I could just sense that there was somebody else there.!!! She did go back to her ex. Boyfriend kissed her goodnight never saw her again but ran into her 6 times in 5 years just ran into her again. New Year's Eve in the middle of the woods. And we are 40 to 60 miles away in another town. And I still run into her weird. New Year's Eve I talked to her. I was standing next to her. Never knew it. There was over 50 people there. I told her we should get together sometime. She said I don't want to date any man anymore. I just want to be alone no more dating. The guy she went back to was 2 years ago. She still looks hurt. But she hurt me in the process. I said Happy New Year and walked away. Look out for rebounds, do your research.
I think I was a rebound unfortunately. It was a guy I had known previously when he was married. After the separation and him getting his own place he reached out to me. I thought we could be friends. We met up and everything went from friends to more with in months. He did talk about his ex but not too much and I knew his ex so I didn't mind talking about her. It was a very toxic relationship for him and he was happy to finally be out. Well after some months he tells me he is in love with me and that I check all the boxes of everything he has wanted. I believed him he was not a player and was mostly genuine. I was in love with him too. He wanted to be in a relationship but not until his divorce was final. I was kind of shocked at that but I wanted to be with him and I wasn't going to argue if he thought he was ready.
It wasn't until after the divorce became final that things changed. We had been seriously seeing each other for 6 months at this point. His communication started dropping off. He said he was depressed because the divorce had brought him down. I understood. But he was still going out having fun with friends and family. But never had much time for me anymore. Well finally he tells me he's not ready and just wants to be friends. I was totally heartbroken and devastated. I told him I couldn't as it's too painful. That was back in June 2022. I haven't heard from him since. But he never introduced me to his friends or family. He did tell his ex because she knew me. I doubt she was very encouraging about it . She was a toxic person. I think what hurt the most was the way he did it. One day I was everything to him and the next he barely acknowledged my existence. This went on for maybe 2 weeks before he told me he wasn't ready. Asked me to meet up with him because he had so much to tell me but canceled the date hours before. This is the moment I knew it was over. I couldn't be friends just waiting for something more.
Has he reached out to you again?
@Brianna no and it's been 11 months so I doubt it will happen. I have moved on somewhat. But I still have hard days.
Most women lied about their past relationships so is difficult for us to know is a rebound
Saying most women is a hasty generalization my friend
He aight lying though. Been in a rebound for 7 months and she was telling me it’s just “causal”. Come to find out dude left her and never came back and she was waiting for him still. Now she’s in another rebound relationship right after we broke up posting him everywhere after hiding me for 7 months. Men can be dirty, but females will do shit that will blow your mind.
@jamaicanshredder Actually, no, and here's why. I ended an almost 3 month rebound a month in. He said he was separated / divorced (first red flag), but I didn't want to judge everyone moves differently.
I asked how long he said a year so I gave it a chance, we did have relations I mean we both are consenting adults, that's when I found out about his finalization of divorce in 3 months. I asked him where do do see this kind of thing going bt us because he actually not in a process healing time (i didnt say the healing time part cause dudes are sensitive af).
He said I don't think I could be in a relationship right now. 😂 So it was all messy and already at the start full of lies even it wasnt intentional or accidentally ommited still a problem, I sent him a lovely break up text. So men and women lie that's just being human not due to gender, please don't red pill this just be human.
You're absolutely right, rebound. Relationships will not last 98% fail. I was lucky. I only had 2 months with her instead of a year or 6 months where you're emotionally invested. But it's.
Still lingered on to get over her.
They come back when I was rebound
I dated an anxious avoidant or maybe a narcissist I'm not sure. When we met he lied and said he'd been single for 6 months when actually it had only been a few weeks but I didn't know at the time so it turns out I was probably the rebound!! We split after ,7 months and two weeks later he was seeing another woman. That clearly didn't work and then he reached out to me again, we tried to make it work but inevitably it didn't. Now just a few weeks later happens he is seeing someone else (my suspicions no actual proof) but watching my stories on Instagram and liking my stories. He monkey branches relationships and cheated on me emotionally with other women. On reflection I'm glad the relationship has finished as I can see there are so many issues with him (no doubt myself too - I'm FA) and his inability to remain single or comfortable in being alone.
I met a guy last week, I'm almost certain he want's to use me as rebond. Thank's to you I no the signals and cut him off.
My ex and I were together for over 10 years and we were engaged. She cheated on me with a married man with a wife and two kids. My heart was broken and I was devastated that was 7 years ago. I didn't want to get hurt again so I give up. Last month i met this girl she was amazing we were perfect for eachother we were together for 2 weeks. I fell in love with her she said she loved me . I was so happy first time in 7yrs . At the beginning of the third week she acting weird. Tell me she's going to go back to her boyfriend and that she broke up with him two days before she met me. She never told me about him. She told me that I'm her best friend. My heart is now been broken in a second time horribly and she went back with her boyfriend and I still love her cuz I'm an idiot......
I was a rebound- My "Ex" was with me for 5 months, got back with her ex who she was with for 10 years prior... Great. Cheers.
This was an intense listen with alot of valuable lessons, thank you for your time and knowledge. I have been losing sleep over this and i finally feel like i can be at peace and acceptance.. almost sorta laughable in a humble way.
Thanks for watching!
I was the rebound! The guy is a dismissive avoidant!
This is personal but I was a virgin and was used as a rebound. My mind is all over the place and my dumbass continued to try. Shorty was 36 so I should have stopped it right there. Lesson learned. Her and her ex (who is 40) yeah act like highschoolers. She cut shit off on my bday smh. I’m about to graduate from my trade. Luckily I just keep moving forward and she’ll just be stuck in that toxic shit there is a woman out there for all of us y’all
Wow
I was also a virgin rebound! 🤝
I just got out of what I’m sure was a rebound relationship. I was the one who was a rebound. We dated a month after she broke up with her ex, and I remember talking to her about being in a relationship before we dated and she said she just needed to trust me and I still asked her out and she said yes. She broke up with me because she had a passing in the family and said she needed to heal on her own. I hope she realizes that she needs to take time by herself and heal by herself. I just wish I would’ve given it time because I think we could’ve worked out.
i think my gut tells me i was a rebound. my ex was in a toxic relationship for 8 years with his baby mama, then meets me and has the best relationship of his life. i can imagine how it must have felt to actually get everything you have ever wanted in a healthy relationship, and then be super angry you put up with mess for some many years. he is a dismissive avoidant, so of course he never talked to me again (his fault finding and stonewalling game is on point!) but i can imagine him taking all his brand new shiny healthy relationship skills back to his baby mama and thinking....yeah...if i could make it work for 8 months with a person who has been in intensive therapy, surely i can replicate that same dynamic with the person who it hasnt worked out with 10 years, right? uhhh...at least love it abundant for me :)
Abundant Rhonnie! Thank you for sharing that.
Do you have advice for me?
I was the rebound. She had broken up with her ex and we got together 1 week later. I was there for her for everything and supported her through her demons and tough times. We did everything a couple did but ultimately we were a situationship. Things moved really fast in 3 months. She broke things off in October as she couldn’t commit cuz deep down she just is not in the headspace to be in another relationship and wanted to be single. We went NC for a week then she reached out and started talking again. She missed me had feelings but was fighting her feelings all in the name of exploring.
1 month later on a company trip we were pretty much together the entire week, did a couples trip hooked up I took care of her etc. then on the last night she was receptive to another’s guys advances at a club. I haven’t talked to her since. She is now just moving onto the next guy now.
It’s been about a week and half. We clicked really well and I really do miss her a lot but I understand that there’s no going back as long as she has this emotionally immature mentality of trying to be single living the “girls just wanna have fun” lifestyle. I’m not waiting up but is it wrong to subconsciously believe that if it’s meant to be then our paths might cross again?
My friend wanted me to meet his sister, so I went up to his mom's house and I met her. We started dating, 18 months later were married. Not till years later did she tell me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend of 5 years 2 months before we met. I told her that if I knew that we wouldn't be having this conversation. She was shocked that I felt like that. Fast forward we been married 54 years. P.S. him and I knew each other and hung around in the same gin mill. He never said that he was the other man.
That sounds like a rare scenario but great it worked out!
@@IamCoachCourt His father was wealthy and owned a 12 bedroom house oceanfront in Jersey. He asked if I wanted to spend the summer at the house. I just started a new job so I couldn't go. When I told my wife years later, she said he was probably trying to keep me from her.
My husband's ex-wife filed for divorce, moved in with his next door neighbor, and had gotten pregnant right away by the neighbor when he and I first started talking. We've been married now, 17 years together, and I'm beginning to think that I am the rebound. He had always brought her up and had always wanted to talk about her. I feel bad now. I feel like I wasted almost 2 decades with a husband who isn't over his ex 😪. I never thought of it this way before but now it's kinda sad
Oh honey, don't feel bad. I'm in a similar situation. I was very young when I met my husband. Young and stupid as hell. I put up with too much B.S., but I was focused on getting my education. My last year of college, I really came into my womanhood and realized he had been jerking me around for the past few years I'd known him. On and off, then on again. Then the ex GF making her telephone appearances as she was convinced they were going to get married. Anyway, I dumped him because I felt I deserved a MAN, not a boy hung up on the broad that cheated on him.
I was done, but he didn't take it seriously until I started seeing someone else. I guess the conversations with the ex weren't going as planned because this boy was hurting. Like really hurting. He knew he was losing me. He'd always try to find me on campus. Try to get me interested in what he was doing and I was just like, meh. It was somewhat satisfying to be honest but he realized I was a woman and wanted to be treated as such. Plus, I finished college before him so that made him really fearful he was going to be left in the dust. He got his shit together and finally showed me he was worthy of my time and space. I did and do love him, but I was not willing to be second fiddle to anyone. But here is where it gets messed up again; we were married, for over a year at this point and his phone rings. We had just bought our home and he busy doing something so I answered it. It was her. I couldn't believe it. I thought she had been an afterthought all that time between us getting back together and getting married, but here she was. I could hear in her voice how annoyed she was when I answered and I told him as much. I gave the phone to him and he chewed her out for calling. I guess her mom was sick or something but that was always the excuse whenever she would call, that her mom was always on death's door. Admittedly, she had some emotional and mental issues but still, I was like really? They had last seen each other in 1995; this was 2004! Is this really happening? Honestly, I still don't know if they communicated after that. He told me he was done with her and I believed him. I can only go by his word, right? 20 years later, we have two teenagers and no drama so, I don't know. This is life I guess. Sometimes it's just so messed up.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story. I truly appreciate it. You're right, this is life. Guess we just do the best we can. @@maryfields877
some girls who just exited a ltr will not tell the next guy they meet . they will in fact outright lie to the next guy. so my advice is to do some snooping around ... and even hire a pi if you are really interested in the girl
recently used as a rebound..i got wayyy to invested, and it ended quicker than its started...she broke NC after a couple weeks, saying she has a lot going on, and made me promise not to tell anyone what happened, so i did...then i found out, she was trying to rekindle things with her ex..so ultimatley she just didnt want her ex finding out about the rebound...bleh, i WAS getting better, but now im back to square one...feel used, it hurts so much..and im angry now aswell, all i want to do is tell her ex what happened...but i aint trying to be petty. WORST part is that i work with her lol...never felt pain like this before. FML
Dating coworkers is a dicey game
@@IamCoachCourt indeed, first and last time I ever do that 😂
Similar man except she was my first and older than me……. This shit hurts ngl but I’m young and still have a lot of life to live while she doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere anyway. Never again
I was dating a man after he broke up from his kids mom (after a week) and then I stayed with him for 8 months and I stopped that with him because it was messed up, a week after he started another relationship, I'm feeling hurt
I'm dating a chick who's fiance died he was a good dude in the freaking rebound I can feel its we talked and dating like hanging out and stuff for a year although. I'm the one who said no sex I didn't want the emotions messing with any potential relationship now I feel like I should have just messed with her and left even tho im trying to not be that way
I had no idea I was a rebound. Aughhh
Just do what I did lol. The moment they come back (since they came back to me after dabbling in another relationship), I said yes and the next day said no. If they wanna use you, just confuse them lol. It’s not like they had genuine intentions for you.
I was a rebound
I’m enjoying your channel.
I really appreciate the support Pandora. It means a lot
hello sir.would it help if we are both rebounds?
Only time will tell,
I feel like I’m the rebound in my relationship. We started talking long distance over the internet in September of 2020 and his wife of 4 years left him 2 months prior. We talked every day for 4 months. During those 4 months he asked me twice when was I going to move to be with him. Second time he asked, I agreed because my step mom gave me a week to move out with my kids and I had no where to go and very little money. After I moved in with him, he would hide me and my children in a dark room every time his ex wife came to his house to exchange the kids. And it was hardly ever a quick exchange. About a year later down the line, I found out that he was constantly begging his ex wife to come back to him the entire time he was talking to me before I moved. It came to light that he moved me in two weeks after the very last time he begged her to take him back. He also slept with ANOTHER woman right before asking me to move in with him that I also didn’t find out about until a whole year later. I’m still with him, but there are so many things that make me struggle in this relationship. I still feel head over heels for him, but in a painful way.
Yeah, that’s not a healthy foundation. 😕
Yeah, not at all! It all just feels so cloudy and muddy, even with the facts. He tells me that now he is in love with me and sometimes we share moments that make me think, “oh well maybe he does actually love me.” I am constantly second guessing myself and living in mental/emotional torment trying to determine what is real and what is my own insecurities. It is especially hard when his style of communication is indirect and avoidant. Whereas my style is very direct.
@@breiannaross4583 you and the men still together now? Huhu im the same your situation 😭
He will leave you soon once he finds someone better start saving up.
Thanks!
Thanks a lot!
I love the videos you make. I dumped my fiancé 6 months ago. I couldn’t marry someone I don’t trust. Less than a month he started dating someone else, they are still together, and though I’m the dumper, that hurts, but I don’t think it’s a behaviour of someone healthy or someone who loves deeply. I’m still not ready to get into a relationship and invest.
Thank you Lily! Definitely unhealthy, it takes time to heal
All relationships have an expiration date, just like the milk and the eggs.
No relationship last
My ex has broken up with me a long time ago. Went into another relationship right away. The rebound person is following me on tiktok well I don't know if he's a rebound. But he is following me his new partner but doesn't talk to at all. My ex has me blocked on tiktok but my ex is following me on Twitter what does that mean? My ex's bi gay. I support that. But I just don't support his hurtful actions and lies. When he followed me on Twitter I notices his boi say in a relationship with this name I don't understand why he followed me when he's in a relationship. He Even contacted me to accusing me of things I never did. Like you said stay away from my house I wasn't even on his property I was actually going to see some family members like my dad. Then he's said to me I don't get why your running away from me. This happened in public at the mall. he texted me right away after he saw me in public. I saw his text when I turn my phone on. He likes old Post of mine on Twitter he's retweeting the same thing I'm retweeting. He's like in trailers movies I'm sharing. I know I used to go see movie theaters with him once in awhile. so I finally text him right back he's all silent doesn't text back. I just want him to be a man be a friend to me instead of being cold spying on me. I want him to be an adult. I want me and hin to talk like adults mature adults. He's 32 and I'm 26. I've been trying to do that but he doesn't try to do the same for me.
It may not mean anything. Maybe that he's just curious
@@IamCoachCourt hes follow me on Twitter right now. The truth is I feel nervous to followed back. I just feel so slow to reply back to him when I dated him I was never afraid of him but now I am I don't know what's wrong with me. Pretty much all he does is look at me in public. I worked all year so hard to get over him. I Eventually did it was too slow though. I was with him them since 2016. How did he move on that fast faster than me how? I'm not sure what stage am I on I'm not in the stage of feeling heartbroken anymore that's good news for me
I mean I don't feel heart broken anymore that's good news. Sometimes he can on my mind but not in a romantic way anymore and no longer everyday like it used to be. It's just me wondering I wonder how he's doing. But I don't go texting him about it