HOW TO LIVE WITH A MESSY PARTNER! What the experts don't tell you. By Victoria Alexander
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 มิ.ย. 2024
- In todays, video, I'll share 3 simple strategies you can use to not go crazy with a "messy" partner and actually get them to do their fair share with less moaning and groaning 😂
TIMESTAMPS ❤️
00:00 | Intro
01:20 | Strategy #1 Reframe
03:09 | Strategy #2 Fairness
08:12 | Strategy #3 Negotiations
11:10 | No Fly Zones
12:55 | Recap of the Strategies
13:48 | Bonus Tip: Compatability
17:47 | Bonus Tip: "Other" Issues
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Victoria@TheCleanCure.com - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
I have tried everything under the sun to motivate my wife. I have spent weekends doing a full cleaning and organization including doing all laundry. I have tried painting the walls, new flooring, and just random other things in hopes of motivating her. But it all goes to hell within a few weeks as I just burn out from trying to maintain it.
To have some mental peace, I decided to create my own living space. I have my own room that I renovated and decorated to my standards. I painted it the color I want including the ceiling. I installed recessed lighting, a TV, comfortable sofa, rug, new blinds, and trim. I have decorated the walls with sports memorabilia of boxers from the past, music artists I like, etc..... It's amazing how much more mentally relaxed I have become. I don't feel anxiety and that tightness in my chest from all the clutter anymore. And she is absolutely welcome to come in the room with me, but I am very picky about keeping it neat and clean.
Wow this is incredible! You operated from a place of true wisdom by creating your own space so that you can feel like yourself & have inner peace 👌
This reminds me of something I’ve heard, and I’m sure you’ve heard as well, but when you spend energy trying to “change” someone, you deprive yourself of the energy you need to maintain YOU. Bottom line, we can’t change anyone & everyone is on their own journey so to speak.
Accepting people as they are releases you from the “fight” and allows you to become a “light” instead. Maybe she will evolve & adopt the same values as you. And maybe not. But I truly hope you eternally commit to putting time & energy into honoring your truth & creating space for you ❤️
Same…. Basically I’ve just stopped and became the habit as well 😂 thank you so much for your insight and tips, looking forward to more guidance 🫶🏻
This is crazy why not be with some compatible .
@@TR-gg5eryou have built a life together it’s not as simple as just leave, I now understand why people in domestic violence relationships find it extremely difficult to get out
Have you thought about hiring a maid. You might think, I can't afford that. Look for a small cleaning company that's still growing. Negotiate. Negotiate. Get them to clean 1 room a week and you can maintain in-between. In 4 weeks, 4 rooms. You might have too much stuff and need help decluttering.
“Don’t be a dictator, be a negotiator.” Daaaaa gum so good.
It causes resentment.
I brought this up and said how im worried about living woth him... like im scared to live with him (we are currently in his parent's home bc i lost my job...) and he said "i care about you ill be sure to think about these things" (which i told him ive heard this so many times... he even said he does clean and i responded with saying that its because i, most of the time ask him to... hes very comfortable living in a mess) then we got back to his parents home and i went to my bedroom and saw that he left something messed up which could have been easily fixed as i got ready to go out with him.... i didnt know he did this thing, and then i say to him "this also proves my point, you just leave things for me to take care of...." and he just got quiet and grabbed some dishes and then his food and left me to eat alone. He did not say he was sorry or anything. I was left crying once he left and he still hasnt said anything. Im really done here. .
I also used to work and clean and he would play video games..... until he got a job woth my company bc I rooted for him to my boss to which he got fired from due to not going 😭
That.. sometimes there’s no compromise. Some people are not willing to chabge
I live with my girlfriend and her one child and I can’t for the life me understand why the house is always a pig stie! I try nicely suggesting cleaning up as we go so we can maintain the house instead of doing huge clean ups every week or two but she basically ignored me then said I’m complaining too much. I’m talking she forgets to flush sometimes, leaves napkins everywhere dishes everywhere as I’m typing there’s a dish by her bed on the floor her friend come over and do the same thing! Leave they bottles everywhere instead of the trash and there’s a trash can in every room. Leave they covers exactly how they slept on them. And ofcourse her daughter is worse. That’s literally the only problem.
Omg you basically described my husband. Lol I'm glad someone shares my pain.
Good luck
How do you cope?
@@ettaphil9586 I pinned a comment from Micheal H. Read that ❤ What he described is truly a beautiful way to approach this “situation.” Particularly when your partner isn’t willing to work with you so that both your needs are met. (Which is truly a whole nother situation lol)
But, please know this …
Trying to change someone else is futile. As you already know from experience & other people’s comments 😅
The last thing I believe ANYONE should do is “cope” or “endure” something or someone that creates unnecessary unhappiness in your life.
Life is simply too short for that.
I believe how you “handle” situations like this shows you what you’re made of & only moves you closer to being a version of yourself you’re proud of, living a life you love and, loving the life you live 🎉 IMHO 😂
So read this knowing that as a stranger on the internet, I want you to step into your power. I’m saying, do not “cope” with this my friend. Do not lower your standards at the cost of minimizing yourself. Make some changes ❤
Um leave her. If she's not cooperating or listening to your feelings, she is not worth your time.
Thank you; I wished I listened to this a few hours ago...
Omg thank you so much for the tips ❤
Actually how you break everything down is so different than other videos Iv found. Breaks it more down to operating in a healthy relationship.
Heavy on the A town stomp sis! Thank you for the tips!!! You just saved my relationship
Glad I could help! 😂
The first strategy is actually super helpful. I have always seemed to address is out of stress/anger and it never works out.
Tried the first strategy with my husband with acknowledging what he does, that he works hard. I told him i need a break sometimes nd just would like a little more help and he literally started with u need a break?? Now im anxious around him, i feel weird around him, i feel anxious going home from work because of how much i will have to go clean when i get home. I dnt know wt to do, in all the years weve been together ive never felt like this.
I am the tidy one. I once went on a week long strike and he couldn't take it. As messy as he is, when I stopped cleaning the mess was too much for him.
Maybe I should try that.🤔
I tried that it doesn’t work, you just end up with a messy house or apartment that only gets cleaned once a week or every fortnight
@@loetofficiall It didn't work. 30 years and he still can't/won't clean.
@@mylynnj3792 another option is having a cleaning service but we all know that’s expensive, this obviously would depend on your financial circumstances (we were able to do this a few years ago when the economy was ok and it worked ✅
It’s a lot better if you just get straight to the point.
that introduction doesn’t need to be that long ;tell your name and what the videos about and get STRAIGHT to it people have short attention spans. I really wanted to hear your information, but I almost clicked off because you spent too much time at the beginning talking about things that did not matter to the viewer-OTHERWISE GOOD INFORMATIONAL VIDEO ❤❤❤
I'll take it! Ty and I'm glad you still got gems from it ❤️