Where is the love button when I need one?! Excellent points to bring Codependency a positive twist, but number 4 hit me hard, I call it: " high tolerance to bullshit" and I've been struggling with this one so much and it encompasses all of the codependent trait: people pleasing, can't say "no", trying to help others at own expense at times, putting the needs of others above my own, lack of healthy boundaries, and ultimately feeling taken advantage of or used. Very good video!
This whole series has helped me very much. It's been a tough year and at 51 I'm surprised how hard it's been. You have a really kind, sincere voice too. Thank you~
I was codependent. Once you understand what you are and how to heal... It feels like a new life. I don't care anymore if people like me or not. I don't let people in my life anymore who don't respect me. Wish I knew this before I wouldn't have waisted so much time with wrong Partner. Hope this Video helps many people to get out of codependency. 🙏❤️
I married a man exactly like my narcisstic unavailable parents and then had 2 adult children and they act exactly like these parents and their Dad. I tried to fix these kids, how did they turn out like this. Now I know they cant love me, I have to search for those healthy people who can love me. It has been so hard to face this Reality but I am doing it now, very painful. I met my 2nd husband, a healthy person who can love me and reaching out to friends who can love me. It was devastating my adult children turned out like they have but better to know so I can make some good choices for taking care of me. Thank you, this is the first time I have heard you, very helpful, you tell it like it is. My adult children have been so upsetting to me but I can't change it.
Thank you. I have isolated myself because I do not want people take advantage of this and I am so confused sometimes. Because I have become so cold to protect myself but it is not me. Now I know that is not that bad if I learn to love myself and say no without feeling guilty.
This is so helpful, listening again, yes I have searched and found people who can love, friends and neighbors and of course my husband and I am not trying to win people over who can't love me. Thank you for this video.
I've missed you Counselor Carl. I found this video funny and a clear view of how I have improved since I first found your channel. Thank you for what you do.
I remember once while studying I got stressed and got sever headache when helping my friend finishing her assignments, even though I had finished my own assignments. Learned my lesson that day.
wow. you just gave me a whole new perspective.. my co dependency has been a problem in my love relationships and has caused me great pain... but, it helped me build a very successful business because of the traits you talked about... Now I am workiing on self care
Counselor Carl: You are AWESOME! Thank you for blessing me!! I came across your channel and have begun listening to all of your videos & sharing w/my friends. Your videos are the BOMB! May the Lord bless you 😊
I never understood why everyone say codependency is so bad treating it like a decease... I see it as a good thing and completely normal to trust rely on your loved ones. It is only a problem when when egoistic psychopaths takes advantage of it. It is not the codependent that is sick, it is those the take advantage of it and abuses the codependent...
There's more to the story than that. Codependents devalue their own needs and feelings, which can lead to depression, anxiety, stress, and resentment. Codependents are good people but codependency is not a healthy way to interact with others.
@@semp223 Any healthy relationship requires the needs of both being met in a reasonably sufficient way. "Self-sacrifice" should not be a one way street. Together you need to work on solutions that meet both of your needs. And, yes, neither of you will always get everything you want, but it is balanced, not a one way street where you do all the giving and he does all the taking.
Yes!!!! Exactly I believe that we are already so so so selfish by sin nature and I truly don't believe that there is such thing, I hate the fact that at this day and age they treat this as a disease last night was my first time hearing about this, my sister gave me a book about it I guess bc she thinks I'm like that but I don't like the fact that is so look down and it's a weakness! Come on! I believe in grace and power of forgiveness bc when I was without Christ I was so miserable and when I found Him and realized what a wretched sinner I am His love taught me so much and it helped me to become more kind, have compassion for others rather than putting my own needs first, I still take good care of me by the way and really that's not co depency that's true love when you give without expectations. This world is becoming so wicked I'm so saddened that this is actually a thing that is being taught by society.
So glad you made this video because I was worried about this codependent traits like well do I need to stop being all these things? Because they’re actually treats a value but I do like the fact you made the connection that now I need to use the skills for myself. I really value your videos and I’m grateful that you post these I wish you all the best in your practice.
I’ve always wondered why co dependency has been looked down upon so much Hence why I find this video . I understand it is painful at times to be co dependant and in this day and times, you are a more vulnerable target for being taken care of but it all points to a lifetime of experiences good and bad and that’s ok. Live a life of experiences and look back upon them once you move in from the pain as great lessons in hindsight leaving beautiful memories.
Thank you Carl for the video, I am slowly but steadily recovering from codependency and I needed this. I knew that I have to recover after knowing that codependency killed my dear father. Really appreciate all your videos :)
Or if you kind of were the a****** in the relationship despite your partner being codependent I started with the girl being more co-dependent than me and I kind of liked it because for once I didn't have to chase.. But over time I felt like I drove her crazy and she loved me less and less.. and I freaked out about it. The girl that would look in my eyes with big huge puppy eyes back turned into someone who just didn't care.. and I could see it no matter what she said. So I did the worst possible thing and overreacted Am I a narcissist? If I'm a narcissist why do I hate myself
I subconsciously want broken people without knowing it but at the same time if someone's not broken then they won't need me Like if they're the normal one why would they have me around
Gift number five is why Dr.Robert Rosenberg titled his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome, which is actually the codependent and the narcissist being drawn to each other.
I love you video's but I've grown very bitter and have Become an asshole to every body and i don't want to be like this. I do good for awhile then i forget meds and become a raging asshole it doesn't matter work out meditate yoga I can't sleep and then i don't eat it's a circle over.
Where is the love button when I need one?! Excellent points to bring Codependency a positive twist, but number 4 hit me hard, I call it: " high tolerance to bullshit" and I've been struggling with this one so much and it encompasses all of the codependent trait: people pleasing, can't say "no", trying to help others at own expense at times, putting the needs of others above my own, lack of healthy boundaries, and ultimately feeling taken advantage of or used. Very good video!
This whole series has helped me very much. It's been a tough year and at 51 I'm surprised how hard it's been. You have a really kind, sincere voice too. Thank you~
Hi, Val. I'm glad you found my videos helpful. Best wishes in your recovery.
👍 thank you I always tend to hear how bad I am becuz I am codependent. Nice to hear a good thing.
You're welcome! Codependency cause much pain, but I think codependents get a bad rap. They are well-intentioned, wonderful people.
I was codependent. Once you understand what you are and how to heal... It feels like a new life.
I don't care anymore if people like me or not. I don't let people in my life anymore who don't respect me.
Wish I knew this before I wouldn't have waisted so much time with wrong Partner. Hope this Video helps many people to get out of codependency. 🙏❤️
I married a man exactly like my narcisstic unavailable parents and then had 2 adult children and they act exactly like these parents and their Dad. I tried to fix these kids, how did they turn out like this. Now I know they cant love me, I have to search for those healthy people who can love me. It has been so hard to face this Reality but I am doing it now, very painful. I met my 2nd husband, a healthy person who can love me and reaching out to friends who can love me. It was devastating my adult children turned out like they have but better to know so I can make some good choices for taking care of me. Thank you, this is the first time I have heard you, very helpful, you tell it like it is. My adult children have been so upsetting to me but I can't change it.
🥺😭😭😭For the first time I feel cherished after watching a video.
Thanks Counselor Carl.💙💫✨
Thank you. I have isolated myself because I do not want people take advantage of this and I am so confused sometimes. Because I have become so cold to protect myself but it is not me. Now I know that is not that bad if I learn to love myself and say no without feeling guilty.
Hi, Aimin, I've glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes in your recovery!
A beautiful message for beautiful people 💛🌻
I agree!
This is so helpful, listening again, yes I have searched and found people who can love, friends and neighbors and of course my husband and I am not trying to win people over who can't love me. Thank you for this video.
You're welcome, Sunshine! I wish you the best!
Thank you Karl
You're welcome!
I've missed you Counselor Carl. I found this video funny and a clear view of how I have improved since I first found your channel. Thank you for what you do.
You're very welcome! This is a video I just needed to do.
I agree. You understand because you are one of us. We are so grateful to you for championing what we are and who we can become. Thank you!
You put a smile on my face!
As you do for all of us! #grateful #recoveringcodependent
I remember once while studying I got stressed and got sever headache when helping my friend finishing her assignments, even though I had finished my own assignments. Learned my lesson that day.
wow. you just gave me a whole new perspective.. my co dependency has been a problem in my love relationships and has caused me great pain... but, it helped me build a very successful business because of the traits you talked about... Now I am workiing on self care
I wish you the best, Adele!
Counselor Carl: You are AWESOME! Thank you for blessing me!! I came across your channel and have begun listening to all of your videos & sharing w/my friends. Your videos are the BOMB! May the Lord bless you 😊
Mo Sim. Thank you! Best wishes!
I never understood why everyone say codependency is so bad treating it like a decease... I see it as a good thing and completely normal to trust rely on your loved ones. It is only a problem when when egoistic psychopaths takes advantage of it. It is not the codependent that is sick, it is those the take advantage of it and abuses the codependent...
There's more to the story than that. Codependents devalue their own needs and feelings, which can lead to depression, anxiety, stress, and resentment. Codependents are good people but codependency is not a healthy way to interact with others.
@@semp223 Any healthy relationship requires the needs of both being met in a reasonably sufficient way. "Self-sacrifice" should not be a one way street. Together you need to work on solutions that meet both of your needs. And, yes, neither of you will always get everything you want, but it is balanced, not a one way street where you do all the giving and he does all the taking.
Yes!!!! Exactly I believe that we are already so so so selfish by sin nature and I truly don't believe that there is such thing, I hate the fact that at this day and age they treat this as a disease last night was my first time hearing about this, my sister gave me a book about it I guess bc she thinks I'm like that but I don't like the fact that is so look down and it's a weakness! Come on! I believe in grace and power of forgiveness bc when I was without Christ I was so miserable and when I found Him and realized what a wretched sinner I am His love taught me so much and it helped me to become more kind, have compassion for others rather than putting my own needs first, I still take good care of me by the way and really that's not co depency that's true love when you give without expectations. This world is becoming so wicked I'm so saddened that this is actually a thing that is being taught by society.
so healing to read this one.
This gave me hope. Thank you
You're welcome!
Beautiful, helpful as always. Thanks Carl, you make a difference in peoples lives.
Thank you, Lexi! And you're welcome!
So glad you made this video because I was worried about this codependent traits like well do I need to stop being all these things? Because they’re actually treats a value but I do like the fact you made the connection that now I need to use the skills for myself. I really value your videos and I’m grateful that you post these I wish you all the best in your practice.
Hi, Katherine. I'm glad you found my videos helpful. I wish you the best in your journey to True Self!
Thank you so much Carl.
You're welcome!
Thank you for saying all this Carl. Put many things in perspective.
You're very welcome! Best wishes!
I’ve always wondered why co dependency has been looked down upon so much
Hence why I find this video . I understand it is painful at times to be co dependant and in this day and times, you are a more vulnerable target for being taken care of but it all points to a lifetime of experiences good and bad and that’s ok. Live a life of experiences and look back upon them once you move in from the pain as great lessons in hindsight leaving beautiful memories.
Thank you for this video.
You're welcome!
Thank you for doing what you do. I had a really good insight from watching this video and am going to go and practice some self care.
You're welcome! Be a good friend to yourself as you navigate the learning curve of improved self-care.
Thank you 🙏🏽
You're welcome! Best wishes!
Thank you! 🙏🏻
You're welcome!
wow! so good! THANK YOU!
M.E. Altman You're welcome!
thank you so much! 🙏
You're welcome!
come back to this again, be a good shopper, search for people who already know how to love. Us codependents need to read this, very helpful.
So advanced😍🙏
Thank you Carl for the video, I am slowly but steadily recovering from codependency and I needed this. I knew that I have to recover after knowing that codependency killed my dear father. Really appreciate all your videos :)
Thank you! And best wishes on your journey to healing and growth!
Or if you kind of were the a****** in the relationship despite your partner being codependent
I started with the girl being more co-dependent than me and I kind of liked it because for once I didn't have to chase..
But over time I felt like I drove her crazy and she loved me less and less.. and I freaked out about it. The girl that would look in my eyes with big huge puppy eyes back turned into someone who just didn't care.. and I could see it no matter what she said. So I did the worst possible thing and overreacted
Am I a narcissist?
If I'm a narcissist why do I hate myself
New subbie!!wow wow wow
Hurry up and get an opening so I can have some of your therapy! :)
I'm sorry I don't have any openings now.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thats ok, just know that you are great and I would love to work with you some day.
@@Ellen-jl2fx Thank you, Ellen.
I subconsciously want broken people without knowing it but at the same time if someone's not broken then they won't need me
Like if they're the normal one why would they have me around
Gift number five is why Dr.Robert Rosenberg titled his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome, which is actually the codependent and the narcissist being drawn to each other.
That’s me
I love you video's but I've grown very bitter and have
Become an asshole to every body and i don't want to be like this. I do good for awhile then i forget meds and become a raging asshole it doesn't matter work out meditate yoga
I can't sleep and then i don't eat it's a circle over.
What if your true self is a curmudgeon now