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@stephanspeaks ... "Those who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones". Your point... Don't complain about (your partner's) bad attitude and disrespect, when (you) are the one who had set the unhealthy, disrespectful, negative tone in that moment. Or you are generally dishing out what you DON'T like to receive back.🌪
THAT PART. OMG....I COULDN'T STAND FOR HIM TO TOUCH MY HAND. HE LIKED ME BUT THERE IS NO WAY I FELT HIM. THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT HIM THAT I LIKE I WOULD CRINGED AT THE THOUGHT OF LOOKING AT HIM. HIS NAILS LOOKED LIKE NAILS FROM HELL. VERY CREEPY.
This comment right here !!! I swear for the longest I thought I was bc I had a son and wanted “my family together ” but I couldn’t deal with stress that Came with it . I felt like I shouldn’t have gave up ! But now I realize he isn’t for me and God has something greater than I can imagine ! He did it with my son so I know he can with the man that he made for me .
I thought I was in love with someone and poured myself into him. I was drained from him and finally realized I was a pure fool and finally walked away. I am in the process of healing but happy I am free.
1. You make him a better man but he doesn't make you a better woman. 2. If he's disrespectful. 3. If you don't want the same things in life. 4. He makes you a convenience, not a priority. 5. Your intuition has been telling you that this is not the man for you. 6. He's unwilling to communicate.
You can love someone but still choose to let go and say goodbye. You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they are no longer in your life who is not right for you
just because they’re not sleeping with each other and they’re not together as couples, they can still be in each others life and hang out together. And remain close friends. Who cares? someone doesn’t have to be the right person to be in your life to be a good person and a nice person. That’s good enough as it is! But if any of you still choose to cut someone off only because your not happy no matter what they do what they accomplish, how good they treat you, and love unconditionally, then either there’s something wrong with you that isn’t normal emotionally and mentally or that person you’re unhappy with has abused you and you know that you’re being used for sexual needs and everything he says or tries to act like he loves you and he’s trying to put effort is all lies and manipulation. I hate the Internet when it comes to exposing narcissism and now women are more aware of guys like them and not all those guys are bad summer summer not but we are teaching them that they are not the right person for anyone just because they have some amount of a personality disorder, some narcissists are worse than others some narcissist actually change and get their life together. The media is a good tool, but it’s also poison, some narcissists are worse than others some narcissist actually change and get their life together. The media is a good tool, but it’s also poison. It is telling us how to live healthy lives and cut off those that are not emotionally or mentally available. How are they supposed to be get better? Yes, they can get help in therapy. and they do my advice. If any of you men out there has some personal issues with her mental health or mental illness. Do not talk about it with your wife or partner or any woman or guy, friend, or female friend just your therapist. trust no one but your therapist they’re trained, and they’re obligated not to tell anyone else. therapist or not your friends there’s no relationship it’s all professional for a very good reason they will not be able to share this with your partner or friends probably a close relative or family unless you don’t want them to. y’all got to be careful when you get into relationships with someone it’s OK to have sexual fantasies fetishes with a partner but as soon as you get an a commitment, which is not for everyone, the likelihood of being forced to except your wife divorcing you, her girlfriend breaking up with you is a very high percentage. 100% 😢
"You make him a better man but he doesn't make you a better woman" every single word you said in this video hits me hard. It's time to kick this joker out of my life
If a woman make man him better with spiritual needs you cannot take it back. Money or materials take it backs. Take his phone off do not give it to him back to repay yourself and takes some his clothes sell it to repay yourself
Yes, I have one that i'm kicking out of my life too. I wanted to break it off its him several times but he begged me to stay he said things would improve. Things have not improved because "I am a convenience and not a priority". Lord have mercy. Thanks Stephen.
3 years and it’s like we are roommates.. he is emotionally unavailable, he doesn’t see that this is was a problem. No hugs , no kisses.. no holding hands no compliments.. I was building this man up but at the same time he took a big part of me . I ended the relationship after 3 years .. I’d rather be single than keep dealing with the emotional abuse. This video has change me and opened my eyes .. I know I made the best decision because I’m actually happy that it’s over🥰🥰🥰
@@esh7511 sis never look back, u did well to leave him before it was too late (he had already checked out of the relationship a long time ago so he was just waiting for you to call it quit - so he wont look like the bad guy).. God will bless u with a good man, u deserve better
I was dating someone I thought I was going to marry; he initiated and kept that conversation going. We spent a tremendous amount of time together. However there were several red flags. One of the main issues we had surrounded Communication. When he'd get upset, he wouldn't talk to me; he would not answer my call or he'd take hours to respond. I will never forget the date - Monday, Feb 1, 2021 we had a disagreement; he got off the phone and decided he was NOT going to communicate with me. He started playing games; I would call him; he'd send me to voicemail; I would text him, no response; but then he would email me a few minutes later. I was devastated; I didn't understand what was happening to our relationship. 2 + weeks went by before we had an actual conversation. Long story short, after nearly 1 month of not physically seeing each other; he wanted to "work out" our differences and felt the way he handled things was immature. My heart was aching Ladies, but I walked away...
I'm going through the same thing, same type of man. I didnt understand what was happening. Tried to reach out to him but there was no response. Its been 4 days. The last time was 3 days. This keeps on happening. I have to walk away. Disrespectful to our relationship, here I am trying to do my part to fix it but its looking like he just want me to pursue him or he is enjoying my misery.
It seem like 99% of these dudes are doing the same thing! They have issues and, I have no time for the immature games...sorry that happened to you..he wasn't the one for you - period. There IS a gentleman out there & you'll meet him.
😂 the road trip example… hahaha My ex husband and I one time didn’t even make it out of the driveway! Got in a fight packing the luggage in the car. He threw a fit and took his suitcase out and said he wasn’t going. The kids and I left. About 30 minutes into the six hour drive he called and said “you’re really going to San Diego without me”. I said “you said you wanted to stay, so yes, I’m leaving. We are on the freeway and I’m not turning around. Enjoy the week off of work home alone, the kids and I are going to enjoy ourselves on the beach”. He was used to being able to have his tantrums and then me bending over backwards. Not this time. Once you start to recognize your worth you no longer do that. It was small steps like that that allowed me to finally let him know I wanted a divorce. Of course he begged/pleaded but I was done. He had 20 years worth of chances…. It hasn’t been easy (especially financially) but it’s been worth it! Let me tell you- don’t invest years in a person demonstrating they can’t handle a healthy relationship. Cut your losses sooner than later!!!
"Let's respectfully walk away" - The narcissist has trouble with this. Boundaries have to be set and kept. Unfortunately, some people don't make it out safely. Listen to intuition early.
Learn how to move quietly and not detected. Set the boundaries and become strong enough that You, not them, don't cross it. Because if you cross it, they will come right over.
Sooooo happy you mention "good guys" because a lot of women are scared to leave guys that are "nice" or "trying" because " at least he's not abusive ".. You're still not fulfilled sis lol you deserve THEE BEST 🥰
This is what I'm struggling with... I'm dating a good guy, he treats me great, we communicate, but there's still something lacking... he's my biggest cheerleader, but he really hasn't uplifted me in anything.. l pour into him, encourage him to better himself and make changes that will help him in the long run.. some things he attempts to make changes others, he's not motivated, like trying to further his education. That's important to me... as we're getting older, I know he can't continue doing manual labor, but what will he fall back on? I feel as if I'm elevating myself and leaving him behind... it makes me sad, but I want happiness too.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks but it took me running away to another country and leaving my daughter with my mom behind but he still won't let me go. He's busy calling my family and in my inbox. It's frustrating
It saddens me there are so many of us that have crossed paths with such pain from a man🥺 May we all walk a path of deliverance and healing manifested through love of self🙏🏽
@@aliejohnson9295, God bless you 🙏 I feel your pain. It's one if the hardest things to do and it hurts like hell, I've cried many a tears over this decision but I deserve and want to be happy. Enough is enough 😌
Thank you Stephan. It was so hard to let him go. I was dealing with a narcissist. Always full of drama & excuses, a mama's boy in his late 50's. I was drained from giving. He wasn't equipped. I didn't want a project. Always manipulated the situation with half truths leaving everything last minute, making me always think I was selfish. I felt like Scooby doo - grrr, what just happened? I realized he was a broken widowed unemployed man who couldn't let go of the past, looking for a woman to take care of him for free. Told him at my age, I'm not pregnant nor desperate & not forcing a man to be with me. Shocked the daylights out of him when I broke up with him.. Took me a long time to heal because I was so ashamed of myself for letting a man treat me this way - so embarrassed but I took accountability. Finally followed my intuition which I had been ignoring. Thank you again Stephan.
Finally emotionally let go of 64yr old player .Stayed too long,wanted a break and he moved on now married.I can do relate to your share. I finally chose me.I finally believed what he showed me.Im a good woman.He is a manipulator,user doesn't know how to communicate and selfish. I am so free now.Thank you for your share...it encouraged me💜
I'm going thru this now, he said he could only give me his free time, I was last on his list, always an option. I begged for him to make time for me for three years. I'm not begging anymore. It's been a while since u wrote ur comment, I hope u r in a better place right now.
@@khadizaali6155 I experienced the same. My ex never prioritized me and I even questioned myself if I was being too needy or clingy. Almost a year after we broke up I met someone who always puts me first, always uses “we” in his sentences, is willing do anything to be with me. When I’m with him I never feel anxiety. Good luck because whoever makes you feel like you’re not enough is not the right person!
I am going through the exact same thing! It hurts! 5 years giving him my all and I got nothing... I had to remind him or tell him how to take my feelings into consideration!
Wow just broke up with a guy from a 6 year on and off relationship and he literally fits every point in this video. It’s literally scary. Just when I was feeling down, this woke me right up! I made the right decision.
If he is not willing to fully commit then you must quit. Walking away is hard but woman must know that they are worthy of having a healthy, happy , exclusive relationship. Sometimes the only closure that you need is that you deserve better.
Man, that first point hit me right in the gut! Currently divorcing a narcissist and everything he said was 100% truth. I made him a better man and leveled up his lifestyle but it was not reciprocated.
How did you divorce the narcissist? Mine is going to be served divorce papers today. But then what happens? Do I have to live under the same roof with him? I'm sooooooo terrified!
@@adel2457 I left him when he was gone (packed all I could and left b/c he would have claimed my life), then I just prayed and fasted, served him papers, and then he took FOREVER to sign, but thankfully he did a half of a year later. We admittedly weren't money hungry so the settlement part wasn't difficult. I am now officially divorced.
@@shalalala868 Oh I'm so very happy for you! I had divorce papers served this past Thursday. Unfortunately, he has 30 days to find a residence and an attorney. My restraining order was denied by the judge because of his son, who is a minor. In the meantime, he's been love bombing me but I am not caving. I will continue to stay firm in my decision.
@@adel2457 Yes!! Please do!! They will butter you up, temporarily change, and then switch right back on you. You cannot trust ANYTHING that comes out of their mouths. They are the biggest time wasters on the planet!
I’m in a 4 year relationship…we are actually engaged. I just graduated from pharmacy school and we actually just relocated together to another state. There have been red flags since the beginning. Lying about small things, not willing to compromise, playing the victim, and reversing issues on me. I admit I brushed them off and forgave them because he is a nice guy. He’s a sweet person all-in-all and he is providing. However, I am coming to the realization that I have to walk away from this because I am tired. He is not mentally mature enough and from all of the time I have invested, he may never be and we will never be on the same page. The bad times are starting to outweigh the good. There have been too many instances of unnecessary foolishness and drama and I honestly have developed so much resentment. He refuses to change his childish and passive aggressive ways, and after 4 years we still can’t have a conversation about serious matters without him getting defensive or trying to brush it under the rug. At this point, he’s tired of hearing the same thing from me and I’m tired of repeating myself. This relationship is a hamster wheel to try to explain it best. I signed us up for marriage counseling, and although he attended the first session, he missed last weeks session because he purposely stayed at work late. He hasn’t bought up counseling since then because it’s honestly not important to him, which I already knew. I’m tired of the temporary changes and I’m tired of him trying to appease me only when I am upset at him. I honestly deserve better, and I know it will hurt to let him go. I have to stop worrying about his feelings and stop trying to convince myself that things will change. We are supposed to get married in a year, and ever since our engagement last year I have cried more tears than I’ve cried in my whole life. Tears of sadness, frustration, and disappointment. I know that this is unhealthy. This is just a huge step for me to take. I think now that I am out of school and my mind is no longer preoccupied and I don’t have distractions from my family/friends, I can finally see this situation for what it really is.
@@carolineswai851 if he is not changing when it comes to this, it will get worse. All the other “perfect” things are just there to keep you long enough to mess up again
this is what happened with my daughter and it makes me sad three girls later after 4 yrs a 8 month, 3 yrs and a 4 yrs... how sad but got with someone else and giving her all that he should have given to the mother of his children
The key is loving yourself and knowing your worth. As women we have to be happy with ourselves first stop depending on a man to make you happy. God has the man for you patient is everything. I've been single for 3 years and for the longest i didn't know my worth. But now you can't tell me nothing lol. What you allow a person to do it will continue. Love is a beautiful thing to give to someone ❤
This Video hit hard! I ended a 7 year relationship for all those reasons minus the disrespectful one. "Made you a convenience not a priority" hurts like a knife. I gave it my all, made sacrifices with my family while he was walking on eggshells with his. Tears in my eyes as I'm listening. Thank you Stephan! Not enough support for dumpers, we only did it bc we couldn't take it anymore!
No matter how nice he is , if he is ungiving of your requests yet demands perks that you don’t enjoy it’s draining. Yes... a narcissist who only enjoys receiving, not giving to women.
💯💯💯💯💯🙌🤛I know that too well..im so glad I red flags even though it was hard to block n walk away..he wasn't changing at all yet would say he was a consious man when he was a nassasist it was just a theme..2 months of wasting my time... he was a spiteful immature man.he would twist things on me way an audacity 😤 he never matched my energy at all..thank god I left.
I was one that made him a better man. I poured everything into him for 6 years and he left me empty 💔😢.. now he is gone living his life. Now I’m working on me again , so thankful that God has allowed me another chance.. this time I’m stronger and better than before 💪🏾💯💜💚❤️💙❣️
I can relate to your situation. I'm going thru it now. But thank God for strength, sound mind, and His grace and mercy on my life. I'm learning to accept that I do deserve better than I think.
Honestly I am so thankful for this video. My 21 years marriage is affecting my health, (stress, headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia), draining my spirit. I have been very unhappy for a long time. All the points mentioned here are hitting hard. I know it’s time to move on. I deserve some peace and happiness at least.
Yes, it affects your health and drains your spirit. I'm going through it now. Headaches, stress, and insomnia were signs for me as well. I'm moving in silence to leave. Married for 13 years. Hope all is well with you 🙏🏾 ❤️
The holy spirit/women's intuition will tell you when something/someone isn't right - it never lies! Unfortunately, I was guilty of ignoring it my last relationship and will never do that again.
Hello - I read your comment and it really resonated with me. My intuition is telling me he is doing too many things that hurt me, but they aren’t blatant things. If possible could you write me back because I’d like your opinion on my situation. I’m confused and very, very sad. Thank you and I hope you are getting stronger every day.
@@pamela0924 Hi Pamela, when its right, you are neither confused or very sad. Those very emotions tell you that something is wrong and your soul is uneasy. These situations are extremely hard to deal with, but I think you know what you need to do. Peace & Blessings!
You can't talk to someone, who has no accountability. You can't talk to someone who constantly says everything is your fault. 8 months in and I'm out. I deserve way better. Thank you
Letting go of toxic people (those that disturb your peace) frees you to cross paths with healthy people and relationships that cause you to flourish...💗
But it has been so hard for me to do... I have lost my mom 3/2020 from covid so i have been solo grieving...But he uses this to his advantage because he feels like i have nobody else but him Guilt trip
I let my boyfriend go 6 days ago and for some reason I feel no regrets at all despite him draining my energy, lack of communication, narcissistic tricks etc... Still wondering why I feel so strong...
Not gonna lie I am guilty of ignoring intuition. Had a guy when we was in the talking stage like to argue. I got serious with him and I’m like wow this guy really is argumentative. He will go on and on about things that do not pertain to us or our relationship.
Taking a roadtrip for in the car was a PERFECT Example of explaining about CONNECTION. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for this video. It validated a whole lot for me
I wish I have stumbled this video and coach before I married this man who has not only been abusive in every sense of the word but is everything of all the negative things that were mentioned here!!! All the same this video has given me the boost to leave him after nearly 5 years of tormenting hell kind of a "relationshipLESS marriage" Thank you so much Sir. I so much appreciate this feeling that "you are on my side".
Intuition is so true... If I have to count how many guys that I really like that I have to let go its because I don't want to be in a relationship that is wrong because my Intuition has been telling me HE IS NOT IT... Whether he is handsome, rich, smart, with six pack abs... you have to look over all that. It is your intuition that will tell you what you don't know or realize about a person. Your intuition is the spirit of Angels that tells us who this person is BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. It is a gift of God that women should really start using so we all stay safe.
Being single doesn’t equal being lonely. There are single people out there who have a wonderful life and people in relationships who feel desperately alone. Never choose the second group. Life is short. Do not sacrifice it that way. As a Greek saying says, “sell yourself at a high price”.
This video confirms to me that I have to pull the plug in this 7 year relationship. He's not stable in his job, lied to me alot, depends on me for everything and blames others for his problems.
This is timely. Been with him for almost 11 years and 7 years married with him now. However, he just keep on draining me. I was tryna make him feel like a king but treat me like a piece of sh*t. Next week, my kids and i are leaving him.
Please do that... my mom didn't. She wasn't aware that my father would treat us badly too, when her back was turned. The way he treats you, he might treat your children too. The first relationship I had, I took someone who was not a good fit (made me a convenience, not a priority). I put up with him for 10 years, because I thought I should be grateful not to be shouted at and disrespected like my mom...
I let go of someone who wasn’t willing to fully commit. Both people have to be equally vested into the relationship. I’ve been healing and my journey is helping me to realize my true self-worth. No longer settling. If I see red flags I am bouncing. & Praying for discernment is very important. Thanks for this word brother!
I was dating someone for a year and she wasn't willing to commit to a relationship at the end of that year. We did everything like we were in a relationship and things were progressing in a positive way but she said she wasn't ready. I walked away last week and it hurt so bad. I had to tell her that I didn't want any contact because in the past she has come in and out of my life.
THANK GOD THEIR ARE SOME UNIONS GOD DON'T HONOUR. SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO TAKE FLIGHT IT HURTS IN TIME YOU WILL HEAL AND BE WISER IN WHO WILL LOVE AND RESPECT YOU 👍🧚🏿♀️
@@NaturallyHERS Wow! I was in a very similar type of situation-ship. I too got sick and tired of it. I know it couldn’t have been easy to just up and bounce, but I am happy that you did that for yourself to have some peace of mind. Walking away takes a strong and courageous person. I wish you the best moving forward. ♥️ We deserve whole people. Not a piece of someone.
@@BrownSugarNCurls Thank you for saying that. It's definitely not easy. I am up crying right now so again thank you again for your kind words. I wish you love and peace.
I let him go because he was everything on this list. I now know not to even let him in. I have been healed by God and educated by Stephan. Stephan, please keep speaking 🙏🏿
This is real talk. I’m with a man for 18 years. We have 6 kids. He cheated on me for years, and when I was pregnant with my last child he was an a relationship with a female coworker for a long time. He faked everything. Pray for me. I’m really traumatized and I don’t think I can love anymore.
Totally relate to this. Anytime I would try to talk about something serious I would get the "oh here we go again". Even when I approached him calmly and respectfully, he just didn't wanna hear it, without even knowing what was bothering me. It started to really hurt and make me feel so unheard and disrespected, among other things. He started making "jokes" at my expense here and there near the end too, and then flat out just ended up being super disrespectful eventually to the point that I left. It's only been a week but it still hurts. Ready to move forward with my life so I can be happy again!
I have 7 kids and now 8 months pregnant I left my husband a few months ago, it’s the hardest time of my life but the peace I get is well worth it. I have learnt self love and I have found myself. I was carrying a man child for 8 years of marriage and before marriage. I was literally mentally and emotionally drained. He use to sit there while I do all the work! I’m much more happy now and every time I start to think have I made the right decision I remind myself of the peace and tranquillity I’m feeling, what opportunities are waiting for me and see that my kids are much happier. Love yourself, level up, put yourself first and remember your happiness comes first, and you are in control of your life.
Married for thirty years still had to leave left everythinh behind starting over was bad but i have joy and peace now loving myself and feel motivted i am 56 i am enjoying freedom
Wow that's brave! I left my ex husband after 21 years of marriage and 3 children. He was very disrespectful and emotionally abusive. It was not easy. I have found my peace. God is good!🙌🏽 Stay positive and be blessed!
Thank you, this segment was made for me. I wasted 10 years of my life with a narcissist. This relationship was so toxic, it was beyond belief, but God had freed me it's been 3 years now. I thank you again. A lot of women have been living in a crappie relationship just like that. God bless you sir.
What hurts the most is letting go.. nice just isn't good enough!!! If a man is immature and can't communicate with you unless it's Via text he is definitely not the man for you!!!Thank you Stephan for helping me see the light,I've seen it before but this time its shining so much brighter,time to let go mentally and LIVE LIFE‼
Covid curse revealed the lack of connection in a lot of relationships. Not having distractions like traveling and working from home was a reality check. But I'm praying that there is a healing in the land... a balm in Gilead. We need each other to survive.
I wish I had seen this video 7 years ago. It would have saved me all the pain and hurt. The emotional and verbal abuse almost ruined my life. Thank you for this message. It will help me with my new relationship to find the right guy.
God is great he knew I needed to hear this today! Thank u for ur words of encouragement. Thank u from the bottom of my heart u have made me realize that I'm worth being loved. I've been married for over 26 yrs and my husband is very mentally and emotionally abusive and blames me all the time for his choices he chooses to make. Everytime he goes out of the marriage and gets caught he laughs and then gets anger and blamed me knocking me down even more saying I'm the cause he chooses to do what he does. He never takes responsibility for his actions. He is a very narcissistic person who loves to put me down over and over again. I've been praying everyday and today I saw this and it really hit home! Thank u for saving my life! God is truly working through u.
Letting go seems so hard even when it’s toxic due to time invested but breaking free is so much more liberating!!! You can do it!! Spring is March 20th let this be your new beginning of life! Love you to life Sis 💗
Very hard indeed.i left a very destructive relationship of 5 years.I am 7 days free .He has been messaging me asking if we could work things out telling me he will change give up drinking ,start going to church seek professional help etc.I had suggested counselling while we were still together and i got a middle finger.I almost believed his txt as I felt sound very genuine and sincere.My counsellor told me these are just words no proof.Counselling is really helping .its vital to continue in order to heal.
@@Poshboti yes words have no meaning unless action follows behind them. I know it’s so tempting to respond but don’t. It will get better as time progresses. If he means what he says he’ll follow through with his “promises” but he needs to know this ship has finally sailed. In the mean time stay focused and know that God has a kingdom man waiting once you’ve healed. Thank God for the therapy 🙌🏾!
I’m a firm believer that it’s always best to walk away from an unfulfilling relationship. As you mentioned in relationships you’re suppose to receive what you give to your partner period. If you’re with someone who can’t appreciate what you bring to the table then walk away!! It may be hard at first but with prayer you’ll get through it!
Single mother, trying my hardest to work hard for myself and my child decided to give my life to someone else who brought debts and stress to my life , he became a better person by my side and I gave my energy and my put my priorities aside for him and he didn’t give the bare minimum for me. I had too much patience and now it’s too little to late for me I need to let him go regardless of him being a “ good guy” for the sake of my health to become a happier person for myself and my daughter 🙏🏽✨
Yes I was there sis. When I let go I looked and became much healthier. Trust me it's beat for you and your daughter. My daughter is 19 now and could care less about her nar Father. Let it go
Wow!!! After letting my ex go a few weeks ago that I had been involved with for many years...he contacted me last night with so much bullsh*t that only gave me more flash backs of his deceitful and manipulated ways I had tolerated. After speaking to a lady friend this morning and watching your video, its only thrives me even more to continue my journey of Peace. Serenity, and Joy without him. Thank you... ❤️
Imagine dealing with someone who does not want to be with you because your finances dont match his or quite yet there, although he knows your clearing working on bettering yourself. Yet he wants to still sleep with you, but don’t want to be committed. On top of that emotionally unavailable, treat u like ur just another. Meanwhile your confidence level is dropping from dealing with such individual . On top of that selling false hope that a relationship will manifest, once you have a career. Men I thank GOD for waking me up!!
Sounds like my ex, he had the money to provide for the both of us but he was uncomfortable because I made little money (he's 42 retired marine and Im 29,photographer) he doesn't want to get married and he basically wanted to be a house wife.
Thank you for this. I've been wasting my time being patient and understanding when he #1, doesn't make me a priority and #2, refuses to communicate. It's been hard to let go because we have a crazy connection but I can't continue to be jerked back and forth and ultimately he's just playing games with me.
Kris S, I hear you on that note. I agree with both of your notations. The guy I was talking to never made me a priority, and he was always the victim. No, I was the victim all along, him playing me and I of course, did not see it, I was in love and he claimed to be. I let go once, but he got back in touch with me. You know scenario. Take care and best of luck to you.
@Kris S You have finally REDEFINED "CRAZY CONNECTION". 1) HE'S RESPECTFUL. 2) HE DOESN'T DISPLAY NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR. 3) HE KEEPS HIS PROMISES. 4) HE'S CONSISTENT. 5) HE MAKES YOU A PRIORITY. 6) HE'S COMMUNICATIVE. 7) THERE'S A CONNECTION. 8) THERE ARE NO DEAL BREAKERS.
He is a very good guy He is a good caretaker. But I made him this way. I was patient with him. Now he has a job... a career and he has finally found his niche. But as I have become someone I don't know. I'm drained. I knew better but like you said he was "safe." But in real life he wasn't safe just the devil I knew
I’m going through this know the connection we had was unbelievable. It’s hard to let go after I put my time and patience into this guy. My time I can’t get back but I knew he wasn’t the guy for me it was so many red flags.
Yesss like he says he wants to be a provider and get married but he still living with his parents and sisters at 31 (I’m 21)and I had to tell him he needs to gain independence and move out to gain maturity.He said he’s trying to and understands where I’m coming from.Part of me is like why did I have to tell you this?He is a nice guy and is always willing to hear what I have to say and says he appreciates me but IDK what to do.
When a man can’t take accountability or even listen to you when you’re talking; he doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t care he’s selfish! Therefor you need to keep walking because he will never love you right leave girl know your worth ❤️
#5 is just confirmation for me. Because I listen to my spirit I politely cut him off. After hearing this I know I did the right thing. I have been dogged out and hurt too much, when it all could have been avoided if I had only listened to my spirit. Never again will I be fooled and bamboozled because, I didn't listen.
Girl I felt this so much. I want you to know I’m in the same boat. Except I tried to leave in October (for another man) which I know was messed up. But he has been physically and mentally abusive to me and my older children. Because of all the drama he moved me an hour away from everyone I know. I’m basically a prisoner. And he tries to keep my by giving me gifts and stuff. But I don’t love him. I feel bad for my kids and I have no money but I’m at a point where it’s him or me. Do I stay here miserable? Or do I take my own life? I know wht I need to do but I literally HAVE NOTHING. And I had things before when I tried to leave. No one will help me. No one wants to take on the “the burden” of four children. I want my freedom back. I want to be happy. Please pray for me.
I gave so much of me in my last relationship and He never pour back into me thank be to god I ended that toxic relationship. That relationship was so draining.
You're the one carrying the brick and this joker is sitting in a lawn chair with lemonade in his hand watching you do the work and telling you you missed a spot. 😂😂😂
@@mariemarie5564you are free, keep going forward. If you need some assistance, try some counseling, it'll help you sort out your emotions and make the best decision for you. Try give the nation domestic abuse hotline a call, they might have some counselors on hand.
I’m a giver 🥲🥲that’s what I learned just had the talk I’m not able to get back what I want to receive, walking away is hard but I know my higher power lead me here to this video to hear it loud and clear 🤞🏻 Imagining two people putting in energy instead of just being the one is what got me thank you for this video
I need assistance because I can’t tell if I should let him go. How would I go about explaining my situation to him so I know what to do? I’d also appreciate your opinion if you have the time. I’m so so confused.
I don’t only listen but I also read the comments. The experiences of these strong, brave and resilient women actually gives a sense of peace and comfort that situations like these aren’t unique to just one but highlights that others out there are in a similar space. I thank you all for sharing your stories. Keep growing and glowing. @stephanspeaks keep up the good work that you are doing sir! We hear you, we see you, we receive you
I keep pausing this video 😂😂😂 But I sooo agree with the fact that the relationship does not have to be abusive or extremely toxic for you to leave. If you are unhappy and nothing is changing ... 🤷🏾♀️ Staying in this dynamic is something I called “Not That Bad Syndrome” in one of my videos. I hope everyone here knows you deserve more than “Not that Bad” you deserve the absolute best! ♥️ You are royalty! 👑
❤️ Get your copy of "The Man God Has For You" today! CLICK HERE 👉 www.themangodhasforyou.com 👈 Women everywhere are calling this book a blessing to read.
Question: I thought I was just communicating my feelings and thoughys. But he says I am just seeking attention. What makes him think or say that?
❤
@@mayvillekeket-amos8644
Cause it's an insult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeking attention? That's my opinion I've had so much disrespect!
@stephanspeaks ... "Those who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones". Your point... Don't complain about (your partner's) bad attitude and disrespect, when (you) are the one who had set the unhealthy, disrespectful, negative tone in that moment. Or you are generally dishing out what you DON'T like to receive back.🌪
Great advice
"You make him a better man but he doesnt make you a better woman" 💯
Powerful words. This should be the yardstick for all relationships.
So true
I,VE. BEEN. DOWN. THAT PATH. I GOT. TIRED. OF IT. AFTER. 8. YEARS
🙏
THAT PART. OMG....I COULDN'T STAND FOR HIM TO TOUCH MY HAND. HE LIKED ME BUT THERE IS NO WAY I FELT HIM. THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT HIM THAT I LIKE
I WOULD CRINGED AT THE THOUGHT OF LOOKING AT HIM. HIS NAILS LOOKED LIKE NAILS FROM HELL. VERY CREEPY.
Y’all do know that leaving a failed relationship doesn’t mean you are a failure right?
Most definitely!
@jbadadams56
Fact!! 👏🏽
doesnt feel that way though😕
This comment right here !!! I swear for the longest I thought I was bc I had a son and wanted “my family together ” but I couldn’t deal with stress that Came with it . I felt like I shouldn’t have gave up ! But now I realize he isn’t for me and God has something greater than I can imagine ! He did it with my son so I know he can with the man that he made for me .
U doing a GREAT work!!💜💖💞
I thought I was in love with someone and poured myself into him. I was drained from him and finally realized I was a pure fool and finally walked away. I am in the process of healing but happy I am free.
1. You make him a better man but he doesn't make you a better woman.
2. If he's disrespectful.
3. If you don't want the same things in life.
4. He makes you a convenience, not a priority.
5. Your intuition has been telling you that this is not the man for you.
6. He's unwilling to communicate.
Damn he ✔️ all. 😮
@@sylviab.791same ESPECIALLY 4-6 smdh
These are a few of the reasons why I am recent lily divorced him-19 yrs married, 21 years together.
5 is fussy and 4 is questionable. Lol
You can love someone but still choose to let go and say goodbye. You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they are no longer in your life who is not right for you
Agree
Crying😢 this truth hurts
just because they’re not sleeping with each other and they’re not together as couples, they can still be in each others life and hang out together. And remain close friends. Who cares? someone doesn’t have to be the right person to be in your life to be a good person and a nice person. That’s good enough as it is! But if any of you still choose to cut someone off only because your not happy no matter what they do what they accomplish, how good they treat you, and love unconditionally, then either there’s something wrong with you that isn’t normal emotionally and mentally or that person you’re unhappy with has abused you and you know that you’re being used for sexual needs and everything he says or tries to act like he loves you and he’s trying to put effort is all lies and manipulation. I hate the Internet when it comes to exposing narcissism and now women are more aware of guys like them and not all those guys are bad summer summer not but we are teaching them that they are not the right person for anyone just because they have some amount of a personality disorder, some narcissists are worse than others some narcissist actually change and get their life together. The media is a good tool, but it’s also poison, some narcissists are worse than others some narcissist actually change and get their life together. The media is a good tool, but it’s also poison. It is telling us how to live healthy lives and cut off those that are not emotionally or mentally available. How are they supposed to be get better? Yes, they can get help in therapy. and they do my advice. If any of you men out there has some personal issues with her mental health or mental illness. Do not talk about it with your wife or partner or any woman or guy, friend, or female friend just your therapist. trust no one but your therapist they’re trained, and they’re obligated not to tell anyone else. therapist or not your friends there’s no relationship it’s all professional for a very good reason they will not be able to share this with your partner or friends probably a close relative or family unless you don’t want them to. y’all got to be careful when you get into relationships with someone it’s OK to have sexual fantasies fetishes with a partner but as soon as you get an a commitment, which is not for everyone, the likelihood of being forced to except your wife divorcing you, her girlfriend breaking up with you is a very high percentage. 100% 😢
This made me cry. You’re so right. 💔
❤
"You make him a better man but he doesn't make you a better woman" every single word you said in this video hits me hard. It's time to kick this joker out of my life
If a woman make man him better with spiritual needs you cannot take it back. Money or materials take it backs. Take his phone off do not give it to him back to repay yourself and takes some his clothes sell it to repay yourself
Yes, I have one that i'm kicking out of my life too. I wanted to break it off its him several times but he begged me to stay he said things would improve. Things have not improved because "I am a convenience and not a priority". Lord have mercy. Thanks Stephen.
A man is trying to talk to me right now that has no license and no car … WHY?
I’m right behind you
Same here
Omg how many of y’all found this as a confirmation this morning????
Meeeee!!!!
Me
Me 🙋🏻♀️
Me!!!
❤
When the Holy Spirit says "he doesn't love you" what higher voice do you need? Pack it up and go.
You're absolutely right!
❤
Amen 🙌
So true!!! I am OUT!
Hello
Perfectly stated,I couldn't agree more. I would rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't deserve me.🎯
Tina u are very right.🙏
@@vidaokyere7407 Thank you so much never settle.
Leave
The way they treat u is hw they really feel abt u
Most definitely!
Agree
Genius reply. You are so right.
❤
It's also a reflection of how poor they are as people, their issue's, bad mindset.
im letting go because my needs aren't being met even when i constantly bring it up, yet i see no change. ive had enough
I’m in the same situation and understand your frustration. I’m sick of it. Had enough and must make the change now.
same and im so fed up
3 years and it’s like we are roommates.. he is emotionally unavailable, he doesn’t see that this is was a problem. No hugs , no kisses.. no holding hands no compliments.. I was building this man up but at the same time he took a big part of me . I ended the relationship after 3 years .. I’d rather be single than keep dealing with the emotional abuse. This video has change me and opened my eyes .. I know I made the best decision because I’m actually happy that it’s over🥰🥰🥰
@@esh7511 sis never look back, u did well to leave him before it was too late (he had already checked out of the relationship a long time ago so he was just waiting for you to call it quit - so he wont look like the bad guy).. God will bless u with a good man, u deserve better
We on the same thing Grace mat never getting shit out of it
Your intuition will never do you wrong! Letting go will make room for the right person to come into your life. :)
I was dating someone I thought I was going to marry; he initiated and kept that conversation going. We spent a tremendous amount of time together. However there were several red flags. One of the main issues we had surrounded Communication. When he'd get upset, he wouldn't talk to me; he would not answer my call or he'd take hours to respond. I will never forget the date - Monday, Feb 1, 2021 we had a disagreement; he got off the phone and decided he was NOT going to communicate with me. He started playing games; I would call him; he'd send me to voicemail; I would text him, no response; but then he would email me a few minutes later. I was devastated; I didn't understand what was happening to our relationship. 2 + weeks went by before we had an actual conversation. Long story short, after nearly 1 month of not physically seeing each other; he wanted to "work out" our differences and felt the way he handled things was immature. My heart was aching Ladies, but I walked away...
Thank you for sharing I pray that you heal from all that you have been through!
I'm going through the same thing, same type of man. I didnt understand what was happening. Tried to reach out to him but there was no response. Its been 4 days. The last time was 3 days. This keeps on happening. I have to walk away. Disrespectful to our relationship, here I am trying to do my part to fix it but its looking like he just want me to pursue him or he is enjoying my misery.
You dodged a bullet girlfriend!
It seem like 99% of these dudes are doing the same thing! They have issues and, I have no time for the immature games...sorry that happened to you..he wasn't the one for you - period. There IS a gentleman out there & you'll meet him.
Sounds like you saved yourself years of pain, misery and negativity. Imagine raising children in that toxicity. Smh!!!!!
He Disturbs your spirit
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
Yes ma'am! Listened to my intuition and now he's blocked!
Now this is the part that I REALLY pay attention too. If my spirit is uneasy with you, then I got to go. Spirit never lies.
This is me with him he is constantly adding females on social media and saying it’s ministry yea right
Exactly
😂 the road trip example… hahaha My ex husband and I one time didn’t even make it out of the driveway! Got in a fight packing the luggage in the car. He threw a fit and took his suitcase out and said he wasn’t going. The kids and I left. About 30 minutes into the six hour drive he called and said “you’re really going to San Diego without me”. I said “you said you wanted to stay, so yes, I’m leaving. We are on the freeway and I’m not turning around. Enjoy the week off of work home alone, the kids and I are going to enjoy ourselves on the beach”. He was used to being able to have his tantrums and then me bending over backwards. Not this time.
Once you start to recognize your worth you no longer do that. It was small steps like that that allowed me to finally let him know I wanted a divorce. Of course he begged/pleaded but I was done. He had 20 years worth of chances…. It hasn’t been easy (especially financially) but it’s been worth it! Let me tell you- don’t invest years in a person demonstrating they can’t handle a healthy relationship. Cut your losses sooner than later!!!
I just wasted 14yrs of my life in marriage with a joker. I wish I saw this earlier
Proud of you
What hurts the most is letting go... 😔💔
Yes, it definitely isn't an easy situation.
True x hugs
It burns.
It sure do.
That's right!
If he doesn't wanna talk.... "leave his ass." 😂 Perfect!
Most definitely!
❤
👌
He never wanted to talk things out
It is a huge red flag!!!!
"Do not let your Heart Desire become your Heart Disease"
-
Florence Scovel Shinn.
"Let's respectfully walk away" - The narcissist has trouble with this. Boundaries have to be set and kept. Unfortunately, some people don't make it out safely. Listen to intuition early.
Well said, listen to your intuition. I appreciate your feedback!
Learn how to move quietly and not detected. Set the boundaries and become strong enough that You, not them, don't cross it.
Because if you cross it, they will come right over.
@Lily Snowwhite l
You are so right Charlene.
This can go in friendships as well.
Sooooo happy you mention "good guys" because a lot of women are scared to leave guys that are "nice" or "trying" because " at least he's not abusive ".. You're still not fulfilled sis lol you deserve THEE BEST 🥰
exactly, thank you
You're absolutely right you deserve the best! Thank you for sharing!
Right sis!
This is what I'm struggling with... I'm dating a good guy, he treats me great, we communicate, but there's still something lacking... he's my biggest cheerleader, but he really hasn't uplifted me in anything.. l pour into him, encourage him to better himself and make changes that will help him in the long run.. some things he attempts to make changes others, he's not motivated, like trying to further his education. That's important to me... as we're getting older, I know he can't continue doing manual labor, but what will he fall back on? I feel as if I'm elevating myself and leaving him behind... it makes me sad, but I want happiness too.
😢 true
Without communication with each other you have nothing. Period.
Communication is definitely key!
This is the 3rd confirmation for me today that I made the right decision to leave an 8 year relationship. Thank you and stay blessed.
🙌 I'm glad you were able to do what was truly best for you
@@MeetStephanSpeaks but it took me running away to another country and leaving my daughter with my mom behind but he still won't let me go. He's busy calling my family and in my inbox. It's frustrating
The inboxing thing can be simply remedy and block him. Tell your family to quit reporting back when he contacts them.
You are so brave for doing that! Keep working for the future you - she will thank you so much!
@@ah2552 I will do that thank you so much
It saddens me there are so many of us that have crossed paths with such pain from a man🥺 May we all walk a path of deliverance and healing manifested through love of self🙏🏽
Amen
Amen 🙏
This hurt me. No woman deserves to feel what I'm feeling right now
@@aliejohnson9295, God bless you 🙏 I feel your pain. It's one if the hardest things to do and it hurts like hell, I've cried many a tears over this decision but I deserve and want to be happy. Enough is enough 😌
Amen
Thank you Stephan. It was so hard to let him go. I was dealing with a narcissist. Always full of drama & excuses, a mama's boy in his late 50's. I was drained from giving. He wasn't equipped. I didn't want a project. Always manipulated the situation with half truths leaving everything last minute, making me always think I was selfish. I felt like Scooby doo - grrr, what just happened? I realized he was a broken widowed unemployed man who couldn't let go of the past, looking for a woman to take care of him for free. Told him at my age, I'm not pregnant nor desperate & not forcing a man to be with me. Shocked the daylights out of him when I broke up with him.. Took me a long time to heal because I was so ashamed of myself for letting a man treat me this way - so embarrassed but I took accountability. Finally followed my intuition which I had been ignoring. Thank you again Stephan.
You go! so proud that you told him what was right on point. no smoosh and stuck with our words that we don't get to say. go happy to see this!!!!
Finally emotionally let go of 64yr old player .Stayed too long,wanted a break and he moved on now married.I can do relate to your share. I finally chose me.I finally believed what he showed me.Im a good woman.He is a manipulator,user doesn't know how to communicate and selfish. I am so free now.Thank you for your share...it encouraged me💜
Everything you said!
well done you - how strong your are
Wow. I’m very happy you got away
when you said. "He made you a convenience and not a priority" I sobbed. :( I felt so broken but I it gave me a big realization.
Me too! Ihope ur doing ok today💞✨
I'm going thru this now, he said he could only give me his free time, I was last on his list, always an option. I begged for him to make time for me for three years. I'm not begging anymore. It's been a while since u wrote ur comment, I hope u r in a better place right now.
@@khadizaali6155 I experienced the same. My ex never prioritized me and I even questioned myself if I was being too needy or clingy. Almost a year after we broke up I met someone who always puts me first, always uses “we” in his sentences, is willing do anything to be with me. When I’m with him I never feel anxiety. Good luck because whoever makes you feel like you’re not enough is not the right person!
I feel you there...hit me between the eyes. I am a weekend conveience
I am going through the exact same thing! It hurts! 5 years giving him my all and I got nothing... I had to remind him or tell him how to take my feelings into consideration!
Yes leave especially if it's causing you health problems ( stress, high blood pressure, etc).
It will drain your spirit.
Stay safe y'all. 💜
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Definite Stress Health Issues
Too late for me
This is me, bp at stroke levels, anxiety so high I’m self medicating which is making me lazy and not MOVE with urgency.
Wow just broke up with a guy from a 6 year on and off relationship and he literally fits every point in this video. It’s literally scary. Just when I was feeling down, this woke me right up! I made the right decision.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
It’s the intuition! You know it and feel it deep inside! Let him go! 🙏🏾
Absolutely!
🚪👜🦅
If he is not willing to fully commit then you must quit. Walking away is hard but woman must know that they are worthy of having a healthy, happy , exclusive relationship. Sometimes the only closure that you need is that you deserve better.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
True
True
@@MeetStephanSpeaks q
Man, that first point hit me right in the gut! Currently divorcing a narcissist and everything he said was 100% truth. I made him a better man and leveled up his lifestyle but it was not reciprocated.
How did you divorce the narcissist? Mine is going to be served divorce papers today. But then what happens? Do I have to live under the same roof with him? I'm sooooooo terrified!
@@adel2457 I left him when he was gone (packed all I could and left b/c he would have claimed my life), then I just prayed and fasted, served him papers, and then he took FOREVER to sign, but thankfully he did a half of a year later. We admittedly weren't money hungry so the settlement part wasn't difficult. I am now officially divorced.
@@shalalala868 Oh I'm so very happy for you! I had divorce papers served this past Thursday. Unfortunately, he has 30 days to find a residence and an attorney. My restraining order was denied by the judge because of his son, who is a minor. In the meantime, he's been love bombing me but I am not caving. I will continue to stay firm in my decision.
@@adel2457 Yes!! Please do!! They will butter you up, temporarily change, and then switch right back on you. You cannot trust ANYTHING that comes out of their mouths. They are the biggest time wasters on the planet!
I’m in a 4 year relationship…we are actually engaged. I just graduated from pharmacy school and we actually just relocated together to another state. There have been red flags since the beginning. Lying about small things, not willing to compromise, playing the victim, and reversing issues on me. I admit I brushed them off and forgave them because he is a nice guy. He’s a sweet person all-in-all and he is providing. However, I am coming to the realization that I have to walk away from this because I am tired. He is not mentally mature enough and from all of the time I have invested, he may never be and we will never be on the same page. The bad times are starting to outweigh the good. There have been too many instances of unnecessary foolishness and drama and I honestly have developed so much resentment. He refuses to change his childish and passive aggressive ways, and after 4 years we still can’t have a conversation about serious matters without him getting defensive or trying to brush it under the rug. At this point, he’s tired of hearing the same thing from me and I’m tired of repeating myself. This relationship is a hamster wheel to try to explain it best. I signed us up for marriage counseling, and although he attended the first session, he missed last weeks session because he purposely stayed at work late. He hasn’t bought up counseling since then because it’s honestly not important to him, which I already knew. I’m tired of the temporary changes and I’m tired of him trying to appease me only when I am upset at him. I honestly deserve better, and I know it will hurt to let him go. I have to stop worrying about his feelings and stop trying to convince myself that things will change. We are supposed to get married in a year, and ever since our engagement last year I have cried more tears than I’ve cried in my whole life. Tears of sadness, frustration, and disappointment. I know that this is unhealthy. This is just a huge step for me to take. I think now that I am out of school and my mind is no longer preoccupied and I don’t have distractions from my family/friends, I can finally see this situation for what it really is.
Please walk away🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
My current situation but my relationship hasn’t even passed a year. He is amazing in EVERYTHING else but this
Look up covert narcissism....please run if you haven't yet! They don't and can't change.
@@carolineswai851 if he is not changing when it comes to this, it will get worse. All the other “perfect” things are just there to keep you long enough to mess up again
@@d.l831 i keep thinking the same too. But it’s not easy to decide
Letting go of a toxic individual. The whole relationship was a lie. He was a player. Saving myself and my peace. I was convenient. No more.
Same here!
this is what happened with my daughter and it makes me sad three girls later after 4 yrs a 8 month, 3 yrs and a 4 yrs... how sad
but got with someone else and giving her all that he should have given to the mother of his children
Same!
Same- I’m done- no more.
I have was there, at the time I could not see it, "but now I am looking through the glass clearly"
The key is loving yourself and knowing your worth. As women we have to be happy with ourselves first stop depending on a man to make you happy. God has the man for you patient is everything. I've been single for 3 years and for the longest i didn't know my worth. But now you can't tell me nothing lol. What you allow a person to do it will continue. Love is a beautiful thing to give to someone ❤
Toxic is not cute! It's draining, it's unhappy, it's ugly, & I don't want no parts.
You're absolutely right!
We are ALWAYS pouring into him, but he isn't pouring into you😭😭😭!
😥
❤️
Hmmmm
This Video hit hard! I ended a 7 year relationship for all those reasons minus the disrespectful one. "Made you a convenience not a priority" hurts like a knife. I gave it my all, made sacrifices with my family while he was walking on eggshells with his. Tears in my eyes as I'm listening. Thank you Stephan! Not enough support for dumpers, we only did it bc we couldn't take it anymore!
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
No matter how nice he is , if he is ungiving of your requests yet demands perks that you don’t enjoy it’s draining. Yes... a narcissist who only enjoys receiving, not giving to women.
Yes
👌👍💯
The Narcissist takes slaves. I'm sick of being a slave.
💯💯💯💯💯🙌🤛I know that too well..im so glad I red flags even though it was hard to block n walk away..he wasn't changing at all yet would say he was a consious man when he was a nassasist it was just a theme..2 months of wasting my time... he was a spiteful immature man.he would twist things on me way an audacity 😤 he never matched my energy at all..thank god I left.
I was one that made him a better man. I poured everything into him for 6 years and he left me empty 💔😢.. now he is gone living his life. Now I’m working on me again , so thankful that God has allowed me another chance.. this time I’m stronger and better than before 💪🏾💯💜💚❤️💙❣️
You'll find someone xx
This is me right now!! It’s hard to let go when you’ve invested so much... but I know the light is at the end of the tunnel
I can relate to your situation. I'm going thru it now. But thank God for strength, sound mind, and His grace and mercy on my life. I'm learning to accept that I do deserve better than I think.
God made you stronger.you have to endure failure.to gain success.
@@selfmotivation5611 I'm going through it now after 30yrs together and my heart is breaking 💔
Honestly I am so thankful for this video. My 21 years marriage is affecting my health, (stress, headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia), draining my spirit. I have been very unhappy for a long time. All the points mentioned here are hitting hard. I know it’s time to move on. I deserve some peace and happiness at least.
Yes, it affects your health and drains your spirit. I'm going through it now. Headaches, stress, and insomnia were signs for me as well. I'm moving in silence to leave. Married for 13 years. Hope all is well with you 🙏🏾 ❤️
The holy spirit/women's intuition will tell you when something/someone isn't right - it never lies! Unfortunately, I was guilty of ignoring it my last relationship and will never do that again.
- 💯 TRUTH
I ignored it too many times
Hello - I read your comment and it really resonated with me. My intuition is telling me he is doing too many things that hurt me, but they aren’t blatant things. If possible could you write me back because I’d like your opinion on my situation. I’m confused and very, very sad. Thank you and I hope you are getting stronger every day.
@@pamela0924 Hi Pamela, when its right, you are neither confused or very sad. Those very emotions tell you that something is wrong and your soul is uneasy. These situations are extremely hard to deal with, but I think you know what you need to do. Peace & Blessings!
Yes, it can not be ignored! I will not ignore this quiet voice again!!!
I ignored my intuition and red flags. It became emotionally and physically abusive. Two years later I’m left heartbroken. Taking it as a big lesson.
Ha ha..u missed a spot..lazy
Marianne you not alone. Me too. I ignored the flags and gut until I got a restraining order. Im out and im not going back.
Hope you're ok dear🙏
You can't talk to someone, who has no accountability. You can't talk to someone who constantly says everything is your fault. 8 months in and I'm out. I deserve way better. Thank you
Self accountability is everything. Needed the reaffirmation.
Congratulations of fitting out!
I have ruthless filters by now😂
I’m watching this to make sure I never act as a man in this type of manner
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
You're awesome!😁👍
Wow, you gave such a valuable resource. I'm impressed that your care and backed it up with action to help.
That is wonderful!
Letting go of toxic people (those that disturb your peace) frees you to cross paths with healthy people and relationships that cause you to flourish...💗
THIS
Amen!
Yes!
But it has been so hard for me to do... I have lost my mom 3/2020 from covid so i have been solo grieving...But he uses this to his advantage because he feels like i have nobody else but him
Guilt trip
Maaan! When you say, "You make him a better man, but he's not making you a better woman!"... That'll preach right there!
I have had enough experiences now to know that my intuition was usually on point but Ignored it. I will never betray myself again.
Can’t ignore the consequences. To learn and grow, we have to make mistakes. Next time we will be better. I wish you well.
Always listen to your intuition and thank you for sharing!
I let my boyfriend go 6 days ago and for some reason I feel no regrets at all despite him draining my energy, lack of communication, narcissistic tricks etc... Still wondering why I feel so strong...
Cause you dropped dead weight. Now remember that feeling in case you backslide..you will notice the difference.
Perhaps it's because you ARE strong. Good luck.
The Good Lord gave you strength! Praise The Beautiful Lord! Amen
God is the one who keeps you strong!!!
Me too girl 💜 2 days of feeling sheer relief & freedom from his constant disrespect & berating. Take care yourself
Not gonna lie I am guilty of ignoring intuition. Had a guy when we was in the talking stage like to argue. I got serious with him and I’m like wow this guy really is argumentative. He will go on and on about things that do not pertain to us or our relationship.
So True‼️ Let him go ladies you deserve better .. Trust me that man that’s for you and only you is out there!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
EVERYTHING. I MEAN EVERYTHING this man spoke of in this video was STRICKLY for me to hear.
Taking a roadtrip for in the car was a PERFECT Example of explaining about CONNECTION. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for this video. It validated a whole lot for me
I wish I have stumbled this video and coach before I married this man who has not only been abusive in every sense of the word but is everything of all the negative things that were mentioned here!!! All the same this video has given me the boost to leave him after nearly 5 years of tormenting hell kind of a "relationshipLESS marriage" Thank you so much Sir. I so much appreciate this feeling that "you are on my side".
👍
I should have listened to you 21 years ago... I would have saved myself 17 years of misery!!
It's never too late we keep learning each day and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through!
Did you leave? Long term relationships are hard to let go due to time invested
Intuition is so true...
If I have to count how many guys that I really like that I have to let go its because I don't want to be in a relationship that is wrong because my Intuition has been telling me HE IS NOT IT...
Whether he is handsome, rich, smart, with six pack abs... you have to look over all that.
It is your intuition that will tell you what you don't know or realize about a person.
Your intuition is the spirit of Angels that tells us who this person is BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.
It is a gift of God that women should really start using so we all stay safe.
Being single doesn’t equal being lonely. There are single people out there who have a wonderful life and people in relationships who feel desperately alone. Never choose the second group. Life is short. Do not sacrifice it that way. As a Greek saying says, “sell yourself at a high price”.
This video confirms to me that I have to pull the plug in this 7 year relationship. He's not stable in his job, lied to me alot, depends on me for everything and blames others for his problems.
Did we date the same person?? 😂😂
Ditto!
That's me 7 year of the same thing now I'm just done
Sounds just like my child's father
Listening to him is really helping me and making me realize I knew I deserved better
This is timely. Been with him for almost 11 years and 7 years married with him now. However, he just keep on draining me. I was tryna make him feel like a king but treat me like a piece of sh*t. Next week, my kids and i are leaving him.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all that you have been through! 🙏
Please do that... my mom didn't. She wasn't aware that my father would treat us badly too, when her back was turned. The way he treats you, he might treat your children too. The first relationship I had, I took someone who was not a good fit (made me a convenience, not a priority). I put up with him for 10 years, because I thought I should be grateful not to be shouted at and disrespected like my mom...
Blessings to you for having the strength to save yourself!! Let him go and don’t look back‼️👊🏽💯
Take God with you. Be careful and be blessed.🙏🏿
Good for you! When people ask why I divorced my husband I tell them “My children were watching”.
I let go of someone who wasn’t willing to fully commit. Both people have to be equally vested into the relationship. I’ve been healing and my journey is helping me to realize my true self-worth. No longer settling. If I see red flags I am bouncing. & Praying for discernment is very important. Thanks for this word brother!
I was dating someone for a year and she wasn't willing to commit to a relationship at the end of that year. We did everything like we were in a relationship and things were progressing in a positive way but she said she wasn't ready. I walked away last week and it hurt so bad. I had to tell her that I didn't want any contact because in the past she has come in and out of my life.
THANK GOD THEIR ARE SOME UNIONS GOD DON'T HONOUR. SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO TAKE FLIGHT IT HURTS IN TIME YOU WILL HEAL AND BE WISER IN WHO WILL LOVE AND RESPECT YOU 👍🧚🏿♀️
@@NaturallyHERS Wow! I was in a very similar type of situation-ship. I too got sick and tired of it. I know it couldn’t have been easy to just up and bounce, but I am happy that you did that for yourself to have some peace of mind. Walking away takes a strong and courageous person. I wish you the best moving forward. ♥️ We deserve whole people. Not a piece of someone.
@@lisaclarke5265 That’s so true!!! Yes! ♥️
@@BrownSugarNCurls Thank you for saying that. It's definitely not easy. I am up crying right now so again thank you again for your kind words. I wish you love and peace.
I wish I could give you 2 likes on the same video. You've articulated all the important points flawlessly.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much. I appreciate that!
I’m so much happier healthier and focused now that the wrong people are out of my life including toxic engagement .. love your content
Happy to hear that and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing!
I love what am hearing love ...way to go...
I love what am hearing love ...way to go...
❤
I let him go because he was everything on this list. I now know not to even let him in. I have been healed by God and educated by Stephan.
Stephan, please keep speaking 🙏🏿
This is real talk. I’m with a man for 18 years. We have 6 kids. He cheated on me for years, and when I was pregnant with my last child he was an a relationship with a female coworker for a long time. He faked everything. Pray for me. I’m really traumatized and I don’t think I can love anymore.
6 kids!!!! Wow! They are your Treasure! God bless you!
How are you now? How are your children?
Remember that it's not your fault. For now, love yourself and your children.
He uses sarcasm every time we having serious conversations and to be honest it really disturbs me to a point where i just go silent.
Once you go silent you will be gone soon .
Totally relate to this. Anytime I would try to talk about something serious I would get the "oh here we go again". Even when I approached him calmly and respectfully, he just didn't wanna hear it, without even knowing what was bothering me. It started to really hurt and make me feel so unheard and disrespected, among other things. He started making "jokes" at my expense here and there near the end too, and then flat out just ended up being super disrespectful eventually to the point that I left. It's only been a week but it still hurts. Ready to move forward with my life so I can be happy again!
Silence is Golden I need to learn to get there
Yes!!!
I have 7 kids and now 8 months pregnant I left my husband a few months ago, it’s the hardest time of my life but the peace I get is well worth it. I have learnt self love and I have found myself. I was carrying a man child for 8 years of marriage and before marriage. I was literally mentally and emotionally drained. He use to sit there while I do all the work! I’m much more happy now and every time I start to think have I made the right decision I remind myself of the peace and tranquillity I’m feeling, what opportunities are waiting for me and see that my kids are much happier. Love yourself, level up, put yourself first and remember your happiness comes first, and you are in control of your life.
You're absolutely right, love yourself. Thank you for sharing and I pray that you heal all that you have been through 🙏
Married for thirty years still had to leave left everythinh behind starting over was bad but i have joy and peace now loving myself and feel motivted i am 56 i am enjoying freedom
Wow that's brave! I left my ex husband after 21 years of marriage and 3 children. He was very disrespectful and emotionally abusive. It was not easy. I have found my peace. God is good!🙌🏽 Stay positive and be blessed!
Thank You for sharing...you give me hope . We have 6 kids & been with him 22 yrs..its time to go...many Blessings to you and your children💞💞💞💞
7 fucking kids?! Wow..
Thank you, this segment was made for me. I wasted 10 years of my life with a narcissist. This relationship was so toxic, it was beyond belief, but God had freed me it's been 3 years now. I thank you again. A lot of women have been living in a crappie relationship just like that. God bless you sir.
What hurts the most is letting go.. nice just isn't good enough!!! If a man is immature and can't communicate with you unless it's Via text he is definitely not the man for you!!!Thank you Stephan for helping me see the light,I've seen it before but this time its shining so much brighter,time to let go mentally and LIVE LIFE‼
Exactly !! I can’t believe we’re went through the same thing. Guy doesn’t talk face to face only VIA TEXT ! Dealbreaker
This part
Covid curse revealed the lack of connection in a lot of relationships. Not having distractions like traveling and working from home was a reality check. But I'm praying that there is a healing in the land... a balm in Gilead. We need each other to survive.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Preach!!!
Amen🙏🏾
That is true, Covid brought this point to light. Many marriages/relationships did not survive.
Amén 🙏
I wish I had seen this video 7 years ago. It would have saved me all the pain and hurt. The emotional and verbal abuse almost ruined my life. Thank you for this message. It will help me with my new relationship to find the right guy.
One-sided, definitely won't work,.because it definitely would bring you down.
Absolutely!
Truth!
👍
God is great he knew I needed to hear this today! Thank u for ur words of encouragement. Thank u from the bottom of my heart u have made me realize that I'm worth being loved.
I've been married for over 26 yrs and my husband is very mentally and emotionally abusive and blames me all the time for his choices he chooses to make. Everytime he goes out of the marriage and gets caught he laughs and then gets anger and blamed me knocking me down even more saying I'm the cause he chooses to do what he does. He never takes responsibility for his actions. He is a very narcissistic person who loves to put me down over and over again. I've been praying everyday and today I saw this and it really hit home! Thank u for saving my life! God is truly working through u.
@@melanierill6933 yes Melanie you are loved and remember God is love
Letting go seems so hard even when it’s toxic due to time invested but breaking free is so much more liberating!!! You can do it!! Spring is March 20th let this be your new beginning of life! Love you to life Sis 💗
Thank you my Friend 💕
@@bernadettekelly2772 love ya
Very hard indeed.i left a very destructive relationship of 5 years.I am 7 days free .He has been messaging me asking if we could work things out telling me he will change give up drinking ,start going to church seek professional help etc.I had suggested counselling while we were still together and i got a middle finger.I almost believed his txt as I felt sound very genuine and sincere.My counsellor told me these are just words no proof.Counselling is really helping .its vital to continue in order to heal.
@@Poshboti yes words have no meaning unless action follows behind them. I know it’s so tempting to respond but don’t. It will get better as time progresses. If he means what he says he’ll follow through with his “promises” but he needs to know this ship has finally sailed. In the mean time stay focused and know that God has a kingdom man waiting once you’ve healed. Thank God for the therapy 🙌🏾!
@@Poshboti continue to pray my sister, you deserve better
Left a toxic situation recently and seeing this video is like confirmation that I was correct. Thanks.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You are welcome. #tuning in
I ignored my intuition and ended up in bad relationships. I learned my lessons
Listening to your intuition is key!
Me too
We all do, Don't beat yourself up.
I’m a firm believer that it’s always best to walk away from an unfulfilling relationship. As you mentioned in relationships you’re suppose to receive what you give to your partner period. If you’re with someone who can’t appreciate what you bring to the table then walk away!! It may be hard at first but with prayer you’ll get through it!
You're absolutely right!
RUN DONT WALK
Wow! I experienced the intuition scene recently. Trust me, I left the building y intuitions are always right
Single mother, trying my hardest to work hard for myself and my child decided to give my life to someone else who brought debts and stress to my life , he became a better person by my side and I gave my energy and my put my priorities aside for him and he didn’t give the bare minimum for me. I had too much patience and now it’s too little to late for me I need to let him go regardless of him being a “ good guy” for the sake of my health to become a happier person for myself and my daughter 🙏🏽✨
Yes our Health Really Takes A Toll
Yes I was there sis. When I let go I looked and became much healthier. Trust me it's beat for you and your daughter. My daughter is 19 now and could care less about her nar Father. Let it go
I can really relate to u .. single mom we r .. stay strong ..
I am a mother too And I get all you said by my heart please be strong for yourself and your kids God always bless you.
Wow!!! After letting my ex go a few weeks ago that I had been involved with for many years...he contacted me last night with so much bullsh*t that only gave me more flash backs of his deceitful and manipulated ways I had tolerated. After speaking to a lady friend this morning and watching your video, its only thrives me even more to continue my journey of Peace. Serenity, and Joy without him. Thank you... ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I'm a very private person, so it took alot in me just to share that much, so thanks for acknowledging my effort.
Glad for u
Kudos
Imagine dealing with someone who does not want to be with you because your finances dont match his or quite yet there, although he knows your clearing working on bettering yourself. Yet he wants to still sleep with you, but don’t want to be committed. On top of that emotionally unavailable, treat u like ur just another. Meanwhile your confidence level is dropping from dealing with such individual . On top of that selling false hope that a relationship will manifest, once you have a career. Men I thank GOD for waking me up!!
Sounds like my ex, he had the money to provide for the both of us but he was uncomfortable because I made little money (he's 42 retired marine and Im 29,photographer) he doesn't want to get married and he basically wanted to be a house wife.
Thank you for this. I've been wasting my time being patient and understanding when he #1, doesn't make me a priority and #2, refuses to communicate. It's been hard to let go because we have a crazy connection but I can't continue to be jerked back and forth and ultimately he's just playing games with me.
Thank you for all the good tips Stephan and all the uplifting spirits and comments from all that I needed to wake up with.
My life! Time to let go..
Kris S, I hear you on that note. I agree with both of your notations. The guy I was talking to never made me a priority, and he was always the victim. No, I was the victim all along, him playing me and I of course, did not see it, I was in love and he claimed to be. I let go once, but he got back in touch with me. You know scenario. Take care and best of luck to you.
Let’s run! Going through the same situation
@Kris S You have finally REDEFINED "CRAZY CONNECTION". 1) HE'S RESPECTFUL. 2) HE DOESN'T DISPLAY NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR. 3) HE KEEPS HIS PROMISES. 4) HE'S CONSISTENT. 5) HE MAKES YOU A PRIORITY. 6) HE'S COMMUNICATIVE.
7) THERE'S A CONNECTION. 8) THERE ARE NO DEAL BREAKERS.
He is a very good guy
He is a good caretaker. But I made him this way. I was patient with him. Now he has a job... a career and he has finally found his niche. But as I have become someone I don't know. I'm drained. I knew better but like you said he was "safe." But in real life he wasn't safe just the devil I knew
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Yesssssssssss!!!!!!!!!
Same here sis... by the time he finally got his ish together, i was drained and over the relationship. I stayed wayyy too long
I’m going through this know the connection we had was unbelievable. It’s hard to let go after I put my time and patience into this guy. My time I can’t get back but I knew he wasn’t the guy for me it was so many red flags.
Yesss like he says he wants to be a provider and get married but he still living with his parents and sisters at 31 (I’m 21)and I had to tell him he needs to gain independence and move out to gain maturity.He said he’s trying to and understands where I’m coming from.Part of me is like why did I have to tell you this?He is a nice guy and is always willing to hear what I have to say and says he appreciates me but IDK what to do.
Been there. Done that. Let him go over a year ago!!! DONT MISS ANYTHING!!
His actions dont match his words
Yes!
Just got a divorce from a narcissist, 8 years of this mess. Happy that I’m out.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, but I'm glad you are now on a path to healing 🙌❤
Well done
Wooo HOOO!! Freedom!
OMG THIS IS SO TRUE !!!!!!
"You make him a better man but he doesn't make you a better woman"
When he always dismisses in any of the conversation? Never listens on how i feel
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Going through that now
leave him
Already did
When a man can’t take accountability or even listen to you when you’re talking; he doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t care he’s selfish! Therefor you need to keep walking because he will never love you right leave girl know your worth ❤️
#5 is just confirmation for me. Because I listen to my spirit I politely cut him off. After hearing this I know I did the right thing. I have been dogged out and hurt too much, when it all could have been avoided if I had only listened to my spirit. Never again will I be fooled and bamboozled because, I didn't listen.
I’ve been with my husband 18 years and I’m done. So many affairs, drugs, and alcohol. It’s time for me to be happy.
Wish I had this 8 years ago. I'm 4 kids in and married. But I hope that God will show me some grace.
I pray that you heal all that you have been through.
Girl I felt this so much. I want you to know I’m in the same boat. Except I tried to leave in October (for another man) which I know was messed up. But he has been physically and mentally abusive to me and my older children. Because of all the drama he moved me an hour away from everyone I know. I’m basically a prisoner. And he tries to keep my by giving me gifts and stuff. But I don’t love him. I feel bad for my kids and I have no money but I’m at a point where it’s him or me. Do I stay here miserable? Or do I take my own life? I know wht I need to do but I literally HAVE NOTHING. And I had things before when I tried to leave. No one will help me. No one wants to take on the “the burden” of four children. I want my freedom back. I want to be happy. Please pray for me.
Just ask yourself if you want 8 more years of the same. You know the answer and what you need to do. God Bless.
@@citrinequeentarotnspells9587 Try to find family/friends/organizations who will help you and kids as you get on your feet.
I gave so much of me in my last relationship and He never pour back into me thank be to god I ended that toxic relationship. That relationship was so draining.
You're the one carrying the brick and this joker is sitting in a lawn chair with lemonade in his hand watching you do the work and telling you you missed a spot. 😂😂😂
Yes, it definitely isn't an easy situation.
I see this all the time...just sad!
😂😂😂
Its true!!!
You just described my ex narc husband with compulsive obsessive disorder
Thanks for the National Domestic Abuse Hotline, so many women and men need that!
Glad I could help!
I am hurting so much...it hurts an I wanted out now I'm out an I want back in...
@@mariemarie5564you are free, keep going forward. If you need some assistance, try some counseling, it'll help you sort out your emotions and make the best decision for you. Try give the nation domestic abuse hotline a call, they might have some counselors on hand.
That was awesome. Stephan really cares. He's the best!👍
True
I’m a giver 🥲🥲that’s what I learned just had the talk I’m not able to get back what I want to receive, walking away is hard but I know my higher power lead me here to this video to hear it loud and clear 🤞🏻
Imagining two people putting in energy instead of just being the one is what got me thank you for this video
I am suffering from this ,,,I am a giver I find myself giving too much to him but I don't get it back
Same here 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Felt ALL OF this!!! He needed to GO. So I can GROW. 🌻
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I need assistance because I can’t tell if I should let him go. How would I go about explaining my situation to him so I know what to do? I’d also appreciate your opinion if you have the time. I’m so so confused.
Alright
Toxic attachment hardest part is letting go god help me do what's right cause I've given my all there's no more i can give 🙏
I feel you, we have to focus on doing what is truly best!
Time to go
I literally cried through this whole video. I felt that. This letting go hurts
I’m feeling the same pain right now 😢
Dammm, you know it’s time to let it go when all of the above applies to you. Even if your married for 7 years.the sad truth. Thank you!!!
I don’t only listen but I also read the comments. The experiences of these strong, brave and resilient women actually gives a sense of peace and comfort that situations like these aren’t unique to just one but highlights that others out there are in a similar space. I thank you all for sharing your stories. Keep growing and glowing.
@stephanspeaks keep up the good work that you are doing sir! We hear you, we see you, we receive you
Amen!
28 years wasted on the wrong man - because he trapped me financially. Finally getting free.
Yesssss I blocked and moved on I’m never looking back the best decision I ever made let the next person deal with him
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
You are a rare breed sir. A Honest Black Man
I keep pausing this video 😂😂😂 But I sooo agree with the fact that the relationship does not have to be abusive or extremely toxic for you to leave. If you are unhappy and nothing is changing ... 🤷🏾♀️ Staying in this dynamic is something I called “Not That Bad Syndrome” in one of my videos. I hope everyone here knows you deserve more than “Not that Bad” you deserve the absolute best! ♥️ You are royalty! 👑
Right.
@@sixteen.candles.4644 Amen! 🙌🏿
🙌🏻🙌🏻💯💯👸🏻👸🏻
Them not wanting commitment or a relationship is a lifestyle choice.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!