Wow. Just wow. Thank you! I had a major meltdown with my teen daughter yesterday and it prompted me to look for resources. I had an epiphany - I cannot draw my sense of self worth from being a mom. And, for better or worse, I absolutely have. And it's not fair on my kid. She does not owe me that, it's not her job. So, it's time to make changes in my life. I am so grateful I came across this podcast! Thank you!
This woman is brilliant. Her book Untangled literally saved my relationship with my daughter and me as a parent. She has so much wisdom and truly understands our kids and how to best support them through this tumultuous time.
I feel like the universe is looking out for me. So grateful for you, Rich, for delivering content that feels just in the nick of time on too many occasions to mention.
Hey❤ i am a Turkish single mom of a 13 yr old girl. I love your podcasts and your being. I laughed with u on so many almost irreversible ‘good luck’ moments in this talk! My girl and I both have AdHd. Yeah, bring it on!!! We call each other in a very Gabor’s way-of-compassionately ‘dumb & dumber’ on many occasions 😅. This morning, she was possessed by her need to send an sms with an urgency & took so much time wearing her shoes that i finally screamed loudly ‘shoes!’ To which she replied louder ‘sockssssss’. Than, giggles! Sums it up! I wish we could be friends with you and your family. I enjoy & learn so much from u. Thank you.
I've read 2 of Dr. Damour's books and highly recommend em. Extremely valuable info within. Great conversation, listening to it for a morale boost after a tough month of parenting. Thank you, Dr. Damour.
Oof. This is a gift for sure. Our teen had a mental health breakdown last year. SI, an attempt and SH landed them in the hospital then residential treatment. There were six other kids who were in the hospital for suicide - shocking yet it seems like that's where we are. It has been the hardest thing i've ever done and i'm so sorry my child is struggling yet wanting to push us away. Anyway, thanks for this Lisa and Rich.
I'm sorry that your kid is struggling, so hard to watch. Been there 11 years ago. I hope you have good help, which unfortunately is very hard to find. My son's Dr said to us, " we can help, he can get better." I literally didn't believe him at the time, as things were so bad. Know it will take time. It can get better. Talk with other parents in the same situation. We didn't have that, and we said a lot of stupid things all with good intentions. We are so thankful for our son's Doctor. Depression makes them push away all things that can help them- friends, family, interests, hope. it is a terrible place for any kid to be. Hang in there.
More to come so don’t allow these natural fluctuations to be more than they are because while your emotions are understandable in a given situation, just know it’s an evolution of them becoming an adult by trial and error.
Thank you so much. As a parent of a 13 year old girl this is so timely and so eye opening. You thinik you're doing it differently but in the end making the same mistakes. Thank you Rich and team for all you do.
One tween/teen challenge that you may have already covered in another conversation, Rich, is eating whole foods plant-based. My daughter says her "friends" say how mean her parents must be since we don't pack her lunch with foods that they eat. It creates a lot of frustration and disappointment on both sides. Please share how you navigate WFPB with tweens/teens! 🙏
There isn't a good reason to feed growing tween/teens a plant-based diet (barring very rare health issues). That isn't a good decision for their health/well-being, so I'd strongly recommend you evaluate why you're doing that at all... Children should have a normal relationship with foods, so any diet is very likely misguided.
Hi Lisa, thank you for vising PDS I enjoyed your talk and it stuck a cord with me and what I have been dealing with at home with my 14 year old son who has been diagnosed with ODD. He takes two different medications for that and he's also ADHD as well. Thanks so much again and I will be tuning into your Podcast now that I have subscribed to your channel.
great content. thank you. Just want to point out that kids playing video games non stop as a distraction is not always a bad thing if the kid is suicidal. I focused on video games as a problem, and later realized it was coping mechanism. As she mentioned, "what are the costs?" For some, video games are literally a life saver. Keep the focus on the long term goal.
Thanks I needed to hear this. My kid is 13 and just said she hates me. It’s a busy time and I am hoping to be the best father I can. It’s all too much but hope I survive it. I really love this kid ai just want to help her get through this.
First time listener (new subscriber) …… 10 minutes in and I feel like I’m not at a loss in the world anymore. Thank you ! And yes, I apparently chew too weird too !!
I don't have children but nonetheless I loved the two hours plus. Specifically, 'appreciated Lisa's very deliberate, contemplative approach to answering Rich's terrific questions.
Thank you for enlightening conversation.I have 3 kids and I tell u I am confused as F.11,8,3 old…but I love it-it’s not easy-doesn’t even come close to describe the difficulty..but the rewards are heart melting ❤️thank you
Thank you for sharing , learning a lot for my 17 year daughter, I make her clean our home instead hiring helpers. Living like a modern nun after the separation becoming single mom, I sure went thru some habit holes like Alice in wonderland 😂
Great EP here enjoyed the wisdom shared... Thanks Rich for having this important convo., as a mom myself of a 14 yr old young man this was much appreciated.... 🙏👊💚
My son is 9 years and he acts like teenager. Moments it’s so hard. It was helpful information. I really need more patience and to learn just to listen and hear him. Still not sure how to make him do the basic stuff without arguing( like throwing his dirty socks to the right place)🤷🏻♀️
Or you could have called that section of the book, “It’s Really Hard to Be A Kinder, First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Nineth, Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Grade Girl.”
She's just looking to avoid being "cancelled" by people unlike us. As someone new to who she is, I came away considering her and her thoughts the absolute best and most insightful on the subject.
Without watching I can answer this easily: First, a mom and a dad. Second, a stable home. Third, peers who aren’t getting into stupid shit. Fourth, parents who parent and give their kids a good moral foundation to live their lives from. That’s about it.
Dear Rich…I hope your parents were not listening about you saying the negative way they brought you up…. It had to be hurtful…your kids might feel the same way about you one day, no matter how much efforts you put into bringing them up… it’s one thing to be told such a thing privately, another to tell the world about the failing of your parents.Nobody is perfect, you must know this by now. I am sorry, but I feel for your parents…. ;( teenagers and seniors are misunderstood these days… I am both …😉🌻🧡
Hey, Sunflower I don't disagree with your comments, but 'just some context. Rich has referenced his parents not in an entirely positive light on numerous occasions in the past on his podcast. I suspect, too, that Rich has had these conversations with his parents. Oh, and one other thing. I don't interpret his comments about his parents either on this particular show or in other, previous show as a 'failing of his parents'. In other words, 'failing' and being 'imperfect'' (or as you say, 'nobody is perfect') are two very different things.
As a teen, I disagree with most of this. Simply allowing someone to experience life for themselves is fundamental. Parents should be passing down their knowledge rather than attempting to change their child. Any sort of manipulation is bad, so why are parents pushing views to their kids without knowing the answer to the child reacting to said view.
@Jake For a moment, imagine that you have a family member that you deeply care for and then times that by 1,000,000,000 And then imagine your efforts in watching that person walk head first towards a fire and you try your hardest to help them to not get burned all the while not touching them physically or mentally. That’s what it feels like to be a loving parent. 😅😮😢❤
What do teens need? A parent that will be their PARENT and not try to be their friend. These misguided parents these days from my generation just want to friend their kids instead of parent them.
I was always my kids friend. I never punished them. All 3 are thriving, loving caring adults. We have an excellent relationship because their father and I always made the relationship top priority no matter what happening in the moment. Be the parent and not the friend is something that has been passed down without any thought given to what it means.
Wow. Just wow. Thank you! I had a major meltdown with my teen daughter yesterday and it prompted me to look for resources. I had an epiphany - I cannot draw my sense of self worth from being a mom. And, for better or worse, I absolutely have. And it's not fair on my kid. She does not owe me that, it's not her job. So, it's time to make changes in my life. I am so grateful I came across this podcast! Thank you!
This woman is brilliant. Her book Untangled literally saved my relationship with my daughter and me as a parent. She has so much wisdom and truly understands our kids and how to best support them through this tumultuous time.
This is a gift to humanity…THANK YOU! My teen has been angry at me for nearly 4 years now. There is hope…and gratitude.
À❤❤❤❤
My kid is not even 4months and I’m taking notes. I love this. Thank you
Me too
I feel like the universe is looking out for me. So grateful for you, Rich, for delivering content that feels just in the nick of time on too many occasions to mention.
Hey❤ i am a Turkish single mom of a 13 yr old girl. I love your podcasts and your being. I laughed with u on so many almost irreversible ‘good luck’ moments in this talk! My girl and I both have AdHd. Yeah, bring it on!!! We call each other in a very Gabor’s way-of-compassionately ‘dumb & dumber’ on many occasions 😅. This morning, she was possessed by her need to send an sms with an urgency & took so much time wearing her shoes that i finally screamed loudly ‘shoes!’ To which she replied louder ‘sockssssss’. Than, giggles! Sums it up! I wish we could be friends with you and your family. I enjoy & learn so much from u. Thank you.
I would love to hear you talk with Dr. Shefali on parenthood, and radical awakenning ❤
I've read 2 of Dr. Damour's books and highly recommend em. Extremely valuable info within.
Great conversation, listening to it for a morale boost after a tough month of parenting. Thank you, Dr. Damour.
Oof. This is a gift for sure. Our teen had a mental health breakdown last year. SI, an attempt and SH landed them in the hospital then residential treatment. There were six other kids who were in the hospital for suicide - shocking yet it seems like that's where we are.
It has been the hardest thing i've ever done and i'm so sorry my child is struggling yet wanting to push us away. Anyway, thanks for this Lisa and Rich.
I'm sorry that your kid is struggling, so hard to watch. Been there 11 years ago. I hope you have good help, which unfortunately is very hard to find. My son's Dr said to us, " we can help, he can get better." I literally didn't believe him at the time, as things were so bad. Know it will take time. It can get better. Talk with other parents in the same situation. We didn't have that, and we said a lot of stupid things all with good intentions. We are so thankful for our son's Doctor. Depression makes them push away all things that can help them- friends, family, interests, hope. it is a terrible place for any kid to be. Hang in there.
Lisa's 2019 Ep was one of my all time favourites... Loved this one too and will pick up the book. Thanks Rich and team.
So important!! This is adults taking responsibility. Beautiful
I really appreciate this episode thank you! I have an 11 year old right now and noticing the shifts and it breaks my heart.
More to come so don’t allow these natural fluctuations to be more than they are because while your emotions are understandable in a given situation, just know it’s an evolution of them becoming an adult by trial and error.
I'm with you, Erin. It's fricken hard.
Wow. This was incredible. Thank you! ❤
Thank you so much. As a parent of a 13 year old girl this is so timely and so eye opening. You thinik you're doing it differently but in the end making the same mistakes. Thank you Rich and team for all you do.
One tween/teen challenge that you may have already covered in another conversation, Rich, is eating whole foods plant-based. My daughter says her "friends" say how mean her parents must be since we don't pack her lunch with foods that they eat. It creates a lot of frustration and disappointment on both sides. Please share how you navigate WFPB with tweens/teens! 🙏
There isn't a good reason to feed growing tween/teens a plant-based diet (barring very rare health issues). That isn't a good decision for their health/well-being, so I'd strongly recommend you evaluate why you're doing that at all... Children should have a normal relationship with foods, so any diet is very likely misguided.
This is just awesome. Thank you!!!
Lisa Damour is excellent. I highly recommend picking up her 3 books.
very interesting, thanks Rich and Dr. Damour :)
Phenomenal episode. I was captivated the entire time. Thank you both.
Lisa is so good. She’s helped me and my family so much. I just wish I’d found her sooner.
This is fabulous! Thanks Rich! 🙏🏻🙂
thank you for inspiring conversation , so important for us parents to evolve, grow and to be present for our kids. loved listening
What a pleasant conversation.
Hi Lisa, thank you for vising PDS I enjoyed your talk and it stuck a cord with me and what I have been dealing with at home with my 14 year old son who has been diagnosed with ODD. He takes two different medications for that and he's also ADHD as well. Thanks so much again and I will be tuning into your Podcast now that I have subscribed to your channel.
great content. thank you. Just want to point out that kids playing video games non stop as a distraction is not always a bad thing if the kid is suicidal. I focused on video games as a problem, and later realized it was coping mechanism. As she mentioned, "what are the costs?" For some, video games are literally a life saver. Keep the focus on the long term goal.
Pandemic was terrible for teens full stop. Thanks for such a caring voice.
Love it. Amazing. Thank you for the education.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks I needed to hear this. My kid is 13 and just said she hates me. It’s a busy time and I am hoping to be the best father I can. It’s all too much but hope I survive it. I really love this kid ai just want to help her get through this.
🙏💜🙏 thank you . What a divine synchronicity this is .
incredible conversation; you found a new fan with me!
First time listener (new subscriber) …… 10 minutes in and I feel like I’m not at a loss in the world anymore. Thank you ! And yes, I apparently chew too weird too !!
I don't have children but nonetheless I loved the two hours plus. Specifically, 'appreciated Lisa's very deliberate, contemplative approach to answering Rich's terrific questions.
11:17 oh, man! you were reading my mind with 100% accuracy💙
Thank you so much! This podcast is so valuable! 🙌🏻😍
Thank you for enlightening conversation.I have 3 kids and I tell u I am confused as F.11,8,3 old…but I love it-it’s not easy-doesn’t even come close to describe the difficulty..but the rewards are heart melting ❤️thank you
This is the author of 3 books. Highly recommended.
Can I also recommend Gabor Mate, "Hold on to your Kids"
It’s a bit old now, pre- smart phones, social media, etc…but one of my favorites. Highly recommended. Co-authored with Gabor Mate.
Thank you for sharing , learning a lot for my 17 year daughter, I make her clean our home instead hiring helpers. Living like a modern nun after the separation becoming single mom, I sure went thru some habit holes like Alice in wonderland 😂
The production quality on this video was top-notch. You can tell a lot of time and effort went into making it.
Great EP here enjoyed the wisdom shared... Thanks Rich for having this important convo., as a mom myself of a 14 yr old young man this was much appreciated.... 🙏👊💚
Very good
Raising a 15yM, 12yF and 10yM....I need this 😂
Is there any podcast that is meant for teenagers to listen to ?
off topic, but please…where are the glass water bottles from? Now, on to the podcast.
When girls are saying they suffer, boys suffer too just not saying they are
My son is 9 years and he acts like teenager. Moments it’s so hard. It was helpful information. I really need more patience and to learn just to listen and hear him. Still not sure how to make him do the basic stuff without arguing( like throwing his dirty socks to the right place)🤷🏻♀️
When you're kid doesn't want to knock about with you anymore, 😂😂😂
Or you could have called that section of the book, “It’s Really Hard to Be A Kinder, First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Nineth, Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Grade Girl.”
What about how to naturally fix Ulcerative colitis??? 😭
She lost me at "Kids of other genders"...
Yes, that was crazy 😢
She's just looking to avoid being "cancelled" by people unlike us. As someone new to who she is, I came away considering her and her thoughts the absolute best and most insightful on the subject.
Without watching I can answer this easily: First, a mom and a dad. Second, a stable home. Third, peers who aren’t getting into stupid shit. Fourth, parents who parent and give their kids a good moral foundation to live their lives from. That’s about it.
Dear Rich…I hope your parents were not listening about you saying the negative way they brought you up…. It had to be hurtful…your kids might feel the same way about you one day, no matter how much efforts you put into bringing them up… it’s one thing to be told such a thing privately, another to tell the world about the failing of your parents.Nobody is perfect, you must know this by now. I am sorry, but I feel for your parents…. ;( teenagers and seniors are misunderstood these days… I am both …😉🌻🧡
Hey, Sunflower I don't disagree with your comments, but 'just some context. Rich has referenced his parents not in an entirely positive light on numerous occasions in the past on his podcast. I suspect, too, that Rich has had these conversations with his parents. Oh, and one other thing. I don't interpret his comments about his parents either on this particular show or in other, previous show as a 'failing of his parents'. In other words, 'failing' and being 'imperfect'' (or as you say, 'nobody is perfect') are two very different things.
As a teen, I disagree with most of this. Simply allowing someone to experience life for themselves is fundamental. Parents should be passing down their knowledge rather than attempting to change their child. Any sort of manipulation is bad, so why are parents pushing views to their kids without knowing the answer to the child reacting to said view.
@Jake For a moment, imagine that you have a family member that you deeply care for and then times that by 1,000,000,000 And then imagine your efforts in watching that person walk head first towards a fire and you try your hardest to help them to not get burned all the while not touching them physically or mentally. That’s what it feels like to be a loving parent. 😅😮😢❤
Showing this to my 12 year old as soon as he calms down...@CamMacMastermusic
What do teens need? A parent that will be their PARENT and not try to be their friend. These misguided parents these days from my generation just want to friend their kids instead of parent them.
I believe I can be both. Much love
I was always my kids friend. I never punished them. All 3 are thriving, loving caring adults. We have an excellent relationship because their father and I always made the relationship top priority no matter what happening in the moment. Be the parent and not the friend is something that has been passed down without any thought given to what it means.