I completely agree. I realised during lockdown that I didn’t miss clubbing in the slightest, and since then I’ve become far less interested in going out, heavy drinking etc and I think I truly am a happier person. A lot of the friends that I had in first year are still my friends now and I’ve made so many more, genuine friendships since being more true to myself and what I enjoy. I’m far more likely to get up at 7 on a Sunday morning for a long run than I am to go out on a Saturday night and for ages I thought it made me a loser but I’ve finally accepted that it’s what makes me happy :)
A disclaimer I should have probably put in the video too: I was using SOME uni sports societies as a very extreme example to illustrate my point. I know that most sports societies don’t have this culture, and I know many people that really enjoy being part of them! I’m really not trying to put anyone off joining them 🫶
Hi again. As a very old hockey player I was horrified to hear from Uni students home for the summer at my hockey club about these dreadful initiations and coercion. Terrifying x
This is so true!! I genuinely feel like the clubbing and drinking culture is not the only way to make friends and meet people!! Being in my first year and having not being to the club I have some friends that go clubbing a lot but like they kinda of respect me no pressure at all!! Well spoken!! This needs to be said more,there’s more to life than all that
You’re so right!! I’m in first year and already feel myself not wanting to go clubbing or drink anymore. I love being a uni student because I love learning, and my friends are so supportive and I still have so much fun
So grateful you made this video. I ended up dropping out of university in December due to my course not being as advertised essentially. Many people told me to stay, not care about the course and just distract myself by getting involved socially and drinking. As someone who has always been very academic, this was just not for me and I’ve ended up re-applying for uni to a course I will enjoy a lot more. This video has made me so much more comfortable about my decision knowing I can take my own path at university and not be influenced by the ‘university culture’ xx
thanks for making this video, lydia! I'm starting uni in September and I've been a little stressed about how prevalent the drinking and clubbing culture is because I know I don't like either of those things. This was a nice bit of reassurance that I'm not the only one who feels that way :)
I never usually comment on your videos, but I wish I’d seen this video when I was at uni. I found it so isolating that few people understood why I didn’t want to drink, and as a result found it really difficult to make friends who would ‘accept’ my choices around drinking and going out. It’s not boring at all, if I’m honest I think it’s more boring that people can only see themselves having fun when alcohol’s involved. I think the uni culture is getting really problematic and is putting a lot of pressure on people like us, talking to a lot of people, few actually like the culture of drinking, clubbing, etc. so I’ve never understood why everyone goes with it. Luckily now I’m a bit older, friends don’t seem to mind as much - to me I don’t think people are a true friend to not accept or judge our choices. You do you and that’s okay. Thank you Lydia, this will help so many people I’m sure ❤ I wish you the best of luck with your last few weeks at uni, I’m sure you’ll absolutely smash it xxx
So needed to hear this. My uni experience hasn’t gone to plan at all, but another uni student said to me recently that the uni ‘experience’ is often romanticised and reality can hit very differently!
I felt this speech so deep down in my soul. I'm not brother by the boys, men, girls and women. I'm not bothered with clubbing, if we're friends and you like that, I'll tune in occasionally, but I need my alone time. I need to be reset and actually do what I enjoy. Even if I go to bars for the aesthetic I want to do it when I'm ready. I'm open to meeting someone on the same page but my way.
Love this video and it’s really relatable!! I’ve also felt like I used to try and fit in with these uni stereotypes, and only now that I’m a Third year on my year abroad I realised that actually I like different things and drinking and partying isn’t for everyone 😊
Thank you so much for this video! I’m a first year student and i remember watching your first year vlogs as a year 10/11 and being so worried about fitting in, as I’ve never loved partying/drinking. This makes me feel so validated in the path I’ve chosen at uni :)
Thank you for making this video, Lydia! You don’t know how much this means to me and to so many other people who don’t enjoy as much the same things as the typical uni student. This video definitely helps me feel like I’m not alone!
Honestly, I’m so grateful for your transparency with this! I’m a first year and in the first semester I felt such a pressure to go to so many societies and socials and go clubbing and drink heavily minimum 3 days a week! I do enjoy clubbing and drinking, but not all the time, I’m a once a month / every few weeks girl, and I much prefer to have a routine for most of my life. I had a heavier workload than my flat mates so going out all the time really drained me thus effecting my work. By second semester, I found your channel and it really helped me to set boundaries with myself and my flatmates - at the end of the day I’m paying for my degree and I enjoy it and want it so that should come first. Some flatmates weren’t very receiving of my feelings, but others were and it’s the best thing because 1) I know who my good friends are and 2) I’m saving so much more money! But I think most importantly, when I go out now I enjoy it even more ! So thank you so much for saying this because, as a first year I feel very vulnerable to stereotypes, but you’ve made me feel confident in finding my own happiness at uni❤️
Hi Lydia, I’m a mature student doing MIdwifery at UoL and I really enjoy your videos. So glad you made this one because I think there is definitely a university culture that people expect you to prescribe to (this was the same when i did my first degree in the late 90s as well). Particularly the drinking culture has a lot to answer for - distraction from studies, bad choices with sometimes life changing consequences, breakdown of relationships/friendships etc. I’m not against having a drink but I think there’s so much else that is fun in life that you don’t need to be drunk to enjoy! I probably sound like a right old fart but I’m just glad you’ve shared your thoughts and empowered people not to conform to a student life they think they should be having. All the best with your finals x
This is such a helpful video, I’m starting uni of Leeds in September and was worried about not making friends due to not loving going out and drinking, but this video made me feel a lot better about it xx
Your videos got me through the shortlisting process of choosing a university when I was in college and now that I’m in first year at Leeds I completely agree. I came to uni with no prior experience of drinking or clubbing due to cultural differences and there is definitely a fixation with pursuing a reckless lifestyle for temporary thrills. Struggle and working against one’s recovery/overall well-being make up our generation’s social currency and people respect you more when you actively choose to indulge in things that make you feel worse.
Thank you for speaking about this! This video was sooo so relatable and it's wonderful to hear these things from someone else 'cause now I don't feel like I'm alone with my own thoughts!
I really really needed to hear this!! I'm currently in my first year at Leeds and it can feel quite lonely sometimes when I'm not doing the same things as my peers. I was never a big drinker and realising that uni is subjective for everyone has made me feel so much better about my journey and I'm sure it will others! I know that as long as I'm myself, my true friends will stick around and I'll be a lot better off for it. Thankyou for this
Some excellent and helpful points expressed. My Leeds student days were many years ago. However, when visiting the city I've seen big groups of students partying outside/inside Walkabout and doing shots "bingo" at The Spoons next door - and that was midweek! I also know there are thriving and welcoming student communities at St George's Church in the city centre and also at Church at Hyde Park Corner/St Augustine's Wrangthorn. Student Teas at St G's on Sunday afternoons are very popular.
You’ve just explained what I’ve been feeling my whole time at uni! I am so much happier now in my final year embracing my own interests and life choices
I totally agree with this! I’ve found it pretty hard over my years at uni to make a lot of friends without engaging much in drinking and clubbing culture - but once I found them, I realised that the friends I would have made doing the typical ‘uni’ stuff (that I don’t even enjoy) wouldn’t have been the right people for me anyway. I think it’s easy to isolate yourself if you don’t fit into the uni stereotype, because a lot of university events are catered towards drinking, but it’s sooo important to find other spaces and niches (classes, certain clubs, non-drinking ori events, sports) to make friends and keep engaged. Loved your perspective, thanks for sharing!
So helpful thanks so much! Starting Leeds in September and can definitely relate to you with the studious stereotype but wanting to fit in at uni. People definitely change themselves at uni and aren’t their genuine self sometimes, also pressuring others to do so also, but if they don’t, making them feel weird for not wanting to? So interesting, hopefully people respect this.
this honestly couldn't have come at a better time for me, thank you so so much. It is amazing to hear that I am not alone in my uni experience and that there are infact other people who are going through the same thing!
I never moved out when I went to uni and due to some mental struggles ended up studying for two years and then started working. It has always kind of made me feel like I 'missed out' on being a real student. But now being older and seeing the stuff my sister goes through with like her initiation and the social pressure etc I'm so glad I skipped out on that. I actually decided to go back to uni last year (after having worked for 5 years) and I love being an older and stable student. I will say though that the normalisation of drinking continuous when you're out of uni... I quit drinking for a year (and still barely drink) and no matter what age, most people find it very weird that I don't drink. Very thankful I discovered that I'm at my happiest when I wake up at 8am on a Saturday, hang over free and being able to enjoy my weekend fully. Thank you for being so open and sharing your story and views 💕
I'm also at the end of my final year too and I am finally learning what makes me feel best. I enjoying going out to a point and that is what I have realised is the key bit. Regular heavy drinking makes me feel mentally rubbish the next day, but I still go out and drink with my friends, I just don't get too silly. I also realised that if I go out, I enjoy being in bed by 1am and am finally comfortable enough to say to my friends right I'm off now and all they say is let me know when you're home safe and don't judge me at all! I think people are actually far less judgemental than we think they're going to be and once you explain yourself to people they really don't care all that much and it's very refreshing! I also have realised my mental health is much better when I'm getting up and chipping away at my work slowly but surely and I am really proud of myself for that because it's allowed me to take breaks when I need them without the work pilling up too much. I was able to fully enjoy Easter weekend freely with my family and boyfriend without having to stress about oh no I have less than 2 weeks until my diss is due because most of it was written by then!
i can’t even begin to express how much i needed to see this. thank you for making me feel so seen and heard and so much less alone. you truly have such a beautiful heart and just a warmth about you. the world needs more people like you x
This video was so refreshing to watch! I really appreciate you having this conversation, it’s made me feel so much better about not falling into the stereotypes! The sports team mindset is really problematic and I have stopped playing the sport I played for 10 years because I didn’t want to deal with the ‘social’ ‘fun’ side of it. I hope things will shift now you have opened up this dialogue. Thank you! Xx
I agree with you. I've had a similar experience at uni. I would say that I think you've missed something, though. Within the desire to fit in, there is a big unfortunate truth: quite a lot of students at russell group unis are cliquey. It's less of a desire to fit in, and more about the rampant judgment that goes on in the zoomer generation. People are labelled and then judged in kind. Its an issue that the demographic needs to put effort into change. I've lost count of the amount of times I've been openly judged in a social setting in a casual way, as if its normal. For a generation whose focus is on mental health and equality, we do a very good job on acting in the reverse way.
i really appreciate this video thank you, it's so transparent, and i feel like a lot of people, including me, can relate to this. in term 1 i just went along with certain aspects of uni culture, but in term 2 i started to do what i truly enjoyed and believed in. also i love how well u express urself - u have such a soothing voice too!
This is such an important topic that is not talked about enough. I found it so hard to adjust to uni life and the reality of it because of the expectations I held beforehand. Uni is what you make it and once you start being yourself the right people will find you!❤ It makes me so sad that people might be put off uni because of the culture around partying/drinking, it has so much more to offer!!
I quit my first uni at the start of this year because I wasn’t happy about living with my parents, not studying in the UK, not partying enough and not being at a uni where sports societies exist… I’ve slowly come to realise that I don’t really want to go out partying every night, I’m not a massive drinker and I don’t want to feel pressured into going out to party just because I want to play BUCS sports. although it was my dream to come back to the uk, the drinking culture has made me chose to stay abroad to study. this video resonated with me, uni is so much more than just parting and drinking.
Thank you so much for making this video!! I’m starting uni this year and the almost obsession with clubbing & drinking culture (in my opinion) is really weird. That’s not to say I don’t like having fun or enjoying myself but I’m happy that at my firm choice there’s loads of societies, job opportunities and things to do and places to go on campus and in the local city ❤️
Oh, Lydia! It's so many moons since I went to Uni because that was what I was expected to do. All you say is all I felt at the time and there were many who felt the same way and equally many who partied all night. Like you, I spent the summer and holidays travelling and I don't regret that one bit. You and Ruby Granger have both addressed the idea of doing Uni the way you want rather than the expected way and I feel certain you will have reassured so many students. Your vlogs are real and show that even though Uni costs so much there are rather a lot of times when you do not have contact hours. I had a part time bar job in my final year and it was so refreshing to meet every day people as opposed to students. One question - did you worry about having to be the big drinking party animal BEFORE you went to Uni or not? x
Thank you for your lovely feedback! I wouldn’t say I was “worried” before starting uni, because at that point I was still trying to convince myself that I DID like those things, so I just assumed that I would do them once I got there! If that makes sense??
I go to uni for my degree, I love it and I love working hard and achieving my goals and getting good grades. I also love my long term relationship and occasional clubbing! It's so important to make uni your own experience and make sure to take whatever you want out of it. First Year of uni baffled me so much because I just wanted to work hard and get good grades but I didn't fit in with my class because they just viewed me as a try hard and my efforts unnecessary because it was "just first year". I wish everyone respected everyones journey individually more often!
WOW I HAD A LOT TO SAY! I agree with you but from an different angle - I only went to a night club once in Ghana with great uni friends around me - I was fine with just drinking but none of the "down it" stuff. I definitely don't have a typical uni experience from the start and I'm aware that it is okay to not have an typical uni experience because I didn't want to do that in the first place ever. But continuing to do things you don't enjoy at uni because you said yes to certain things for wrong reasons, can come under an different label like for example being part of a society committee - the principles are the same - ask yourself wether you actually enjoy it. good thing is you are experimenting and things go wrong but that's okay you can reset in the start of the next term. I now join things that leaves me beaming with joy going home most of the time (non-uni running club), I developed better connections with my course mates 3 years too late! But at least I know what opportunities I would embrace after I leave uni - it doesn't stop at uni!
Can relate to this so much. I was never popular throughout school but I always in the “popular groups”. I tried to fit in so many times but ppl were never receptive outside of my immediate circle. It’s pointless trying to be different at uni unless it is to better yourself as at the end of the day people really do not care
I relate to this video so much, I stopped drinking between 1st and 2nd year and realised I really don’t enjoy clubbing or the stereotypical uni lifestyle. But I will say, I’m part of a sports society at warwick and I can somewhat defend sports socs, I have been to every single initiation/social etc totally sober and had so much fun. Plenty of sports socs have really good welfare structures and it makes me sad to see that they have such a bad reputation across the uk! Xxx
I’m so glad to hear that you’ve had a good experience! My sports society example was a very extreme one to illustrate my point, I know most aren’t like that and most people have a great experience with them! X
I’m lucky that me and my friend who I live with are very much the same in how we like to spend our uni experience. Neither of us like going out clubbing or staying out till the early hours. Instead , our weekends are spent going on walks , going shopping , or just going out for coffee or food 😂
In my 3rd and final year of uni and finally starting to realise this for myself too. Wish I’d realised sooner bc I’m sure I would have been happier and more fulfilled for the past 2.5 years
I think people constantly saying Leeds is good for nights out or I’m only going there for that has worried me a little, a uni having that reputation makes me worry I won’t have friends with things in common as I don’t go out that often
Our university have banned initiations. I know that some still do their initiations like rugby but my society never did an initiation. Although they would do stuff in the social which just made me really uncomfortable to watch. Sometimes socs are brutal ☹️
The 'stereotypical' uni lifestyle has been part of my life before I went to uni, but I think it is totally cool if you dont enjoy it, in fact more power to you! However you are completely right about the toxic manosphere peer pressure that said lifestyle can create.
I’m from Nottingham and go to uni there and EVERYONE defends uni culture esp re. The sports initiations, I remember one time in my second year house I was saying how it’s so stupid and ridiculous, (the extreme parts of sports socials at uni), and everyone was just like oh it’s just part of it as if I were boring that I didn’t want to get naked and run around outside 😭😭😭. All the people from notts I know who are at uni in notts too don’t get it like me, and you’re from notts and you don’t get it either🤣🤣🤣 maybe it’s a Nottingham thing
I'm at Notts too (final year) and I definitely understand what you mean! Sports societies can be so cliquey and elitist, which has alienated quite a few students like myself from joining (and let's not even mention the costs of signing up!).
Unfortunately, when I did my undergraduate, the sports society I was part of had a very toxic drinking culture. Because I didn't want to drink because of my medication, I always felt like an outsider. Fortunately, I had terrific housemates that didn't make me feel like that, and just before Covid, I met my now Fiance. x
Love this video Lydia!! As someone who doesn't drink and lives in Denmark (one of the countries where young people drink the most) I can definitely recognize a lot of what you are saying. BUT I will also say that people usually respect when I say that I don't drink. It does sometimes require quite a bit of explanation and a lot of saying 'no thanks' to a beer, but my friends and the people who know me never comments on it, because that is just who I am, and that's totally fine. This was just in the lines of what you were talking about; that real friends should and will understand of you no longer want to follow what everyone else does
Hey Lydia Violeta I love your videos so much and please put a heart on this comment and happy thursday afternoon vibes to you and your boyfriend Sid . ❤😊
Thank you for this video. I needed to hear this, needed to hear that I'm not the only one who is only now realising this. You've given me something to reflect on in my current reflective note and it means a lot that you made a vid about this.🫶
I completely agree. I realised during lockdown that I didn’t miss clubbing in the slightest, and since then I’ve become far less interested in going out, heavy drinking etc and I think I truly am a happier person. A lot of the friends that I had in first year are still my friends now and I’ve made so many more, genuine friendships since being more true to myself and what I enjoy. I’m far more likely to get up at 7 on a Sunday morning for a long run than I am to go out on a Saturday night and for ages I thought it made me a loser but I’ve finally accepted that it’s what makes me happy :)
That’s so lovely to hear! X
A disclaimer I should have probably put in the video too: I was using SOME uni sports societies as a very extreme example to illustrate my point. I know that most sports societies don’t have this culture, and I know many people that really enjoy being part of them! I’m really not trying to put anyone off joining them 🫶
Hi again. As a very old hockey player I was horrified to hear from Uni students home for the summer at my hockey club about these dreadful initiations and coercion. Terrifying x
This is so true!! I genuinely feel like the clubbing and drinking culture is not the only way to make friends and meet people!! Being in my first year and having not being to the club I have some friends that go clubbing a lot but like they kinda of respect me no pressure at all!! Well spoken!! This needs to be said more,there’s more to life than all that
You’re so right!! I’m in first year and already feel myself not wanting to go clubbing or drink anymore. I love being a uni student because I love learning, and my friends are so supportive and I still have so much fun
So grateful you made this video. I ended up dropping out of university in December due to my course not being as advertised essentially. Many people told me to stay, not care about the course and just distract myself by getting involved socially and drinking. As someone who has always been very academic, this was just not for me and I’ve ended up re-applying for uni to a course I will enjoy a lot more. This video has made me so much more comfortable about my decision knowing I can take my own path at university and not be influenced by the ‘university culture’ xx
thanks for making this video, lydia! I'm starting uni in September and I've been a little stressed about how prevalent the drinking and clubbing culture is because I know I don't like either of those things. This was a nice bit of reassurance that I'm not the only one who feels that way :)
I never usually comment on your videos, but I wish I’d seen this video when I was at uni. I found it so isolating that few people understood why I didn’t want to drink, and as a result found it really difficult to make friends who would ‘accept’ my choices around drinking and going out. It’s not boring at all, if I’m honest I think it’s more boring that people can only see themselves having fun when alcohol’s involved. I think the uni culture is getting really problematic and is putting a lot of pressure on people like us, talking to a lot of people, few actually like the culture of drinking, clubbing, etc. so I’ve never understood why everyone goes with it. Luckily now I’m a bit older, friends don’t seem to mind as much - to me I don’t think people are a true friend to not accept or judge our choices. You do you and that’s okay. Thank you Lydia, this will help so many people I’m sure ❤ I wish you the best of luck with your last few weeks at uni, I’m sure you’ll absolutely smash it xxx
this is such a refreshing take to hear, and it's so nice to hear from so many other people feeling the same way
So needed to hear this. My uni experience hasn’t gone to plan at all, but another uni student said to me recently that the uni ‘experience’ is often romanticised and reality can hit very differently!
I felt this speech so deep down in my soul. I'm not brother by the boys, men, girls and women. I'm not bothered with clubbing, if we're friends and you like that, I'll tune in occasionally, but I need my alone time. I need to be reset and actually do what I enjoy. Even if I go to bars for the aesthetic I want to do it when I'm ready. I'm open to meeting someone on the same page but my way.
Love this video and it’s really relatable!! I’ve also felt like I used to try and fit in with these uni stereotypes, and only now that I’m a Third year on my year abroad I realised that actually I like different things and drinking and partying isn’t for everyone 😊
Thank you so much for this video! I’m a first year student and i remember watching your first year vlogs as a year 10/11 and being so worried about fitting in, as I’ve never loved partying/drinking. This makes me feel so validated in the path I’ve chosen at uni :)
Thank you for making this video, Lydia! You don’t know how much this means to me and to so many other people who don’t enjoy as much the same things as the typical uni student. This video definitely helps me feel like I’m not alone!
I’m so glad to hear that!! X
Honestly, I’m so grateful for your transparency with this! I’m a first year and in the first semester I felt such a pressure to go to so many societies and socials and go clubbing and drink heavily minimum 3 days a week! I do enjoy clubbing and drinking, but not all the time, I’m a once a month / every few weeks girl, and I much prefer to have a routine for most of my life. I had a heavier workload than my flat mates so going out all the time really drained me thus effecting my work. By second semester, I found your channel and it really helped me to set boundaries with myself and my flatmates - at the end of the day I’m paying for my degree and I enjoy it and want it so that should come first. Some flatmates weren’t very receiving of my feelings, but others were and it’s the best thing because 1) I know who my good friends are and 2) I’m saving so much more money! But I think most importantly, when I go out now I enjoy it even more ! So thank you so much for saying this because, as a first year I feel very vulnerable to stereotypes, but you’ve made me feel confident in finding my own happiness at uni❤️
Hi Lydia, I’m a mature student doing MIdwifery at UoL and I really enjoy your videos. So glad you made this one because I think there is definitely a university culture that people expect you to prescribe to (this was the same when i did my first degree in the late 90s as well). Particularly the drinking culture has a lot to answer for - distraction from studies, bad choices with sometimes life changing consequences, breakdown of relationships/friendships etc. I’m not against having a drink but I think there’s so much else that is fun in life that you don’t need to be drunk to enjoy! I probably sound like a right old fart but I’m just glad you’ve shared your thoughts and empowered people not to conform to a student life they think they should be having. All the best with your finals x
This is such a helpful video, I’m starting uni of Leeds in September and was worried about not making friends due to not loving going out and drinking, but this video made me feel a lot better about it xx
I’m so glad to hear that! There’s definitely still lots to do in leeds without drinking, and you’ll still meet lovely people! X
Your videos got me through the shortlisting process of choosing a university when I was in college and now that I’m in first year at Leeds I completely agree.
I came to uni with no prior experience of drinking or clubbing due to cultural differences and there is definitely a fixation with pursuing a reckless lifestyle for temporary thrills. Struggle and working against one’s recovery/overall well-being make up our generation’s social currency and people respect you more when you actively choose to indulge in things that make you feel worse.
Thank you for speaking about this! This video was sooo so relatable and it's wonderful to hear these things from someone else 'cause now I don't feel like I'm alone with my own thoughts!
I really really needed to hear this!! I'm currently in my first year at Leeds and it can feel quite lonely sometimes when I'm not doing the same things as my peers. I was never a big drinker and realising that uni is subjective for everyone has made me feel so much better about my journey and I'm sure it will others! I know that as long as I'm myself, my true friends will stick around and I'll be a lot better off for it. Thankyou for this
Some excellent and helpful points expressed. My Leeds student days were many years ago. However, when visiting the city I've seen big groups of students partying outside/inside Walkabout and doing shots "bingo" at The Spoons next door - and that was midweek!
I also know there are thriving and welcoming student communities at St George's Church in the city centre and also at Church at Hyde Park Corner/St Augustine's Wrangthorn. Student Teas at St G's on Sunday afternoons are very popular.
You’ve just explained what I’ve been feeling my whole time at uni! I am so much happier now in my final year embracing my own interests and life choices
I totally agree with this! I’ve found it pretty hard over my years at uni to make a lot of friends without engaging much in drinking and clubbing culture - but once I found them, I realised that the friends I would have made doing the typical ‘uni’ stuff (that I don’t even enjoy) wouldn’t have been the right people for me anyway. I think it’s easy to isolate yourself if you don’t fit into the uni stereotype, because a lot of university events are catered towards drinking, but it’s sooo important to find other spaces and niches (classes, certain clubs, non-drinking ori events, sports) to make friends and keep engaged. Loved your perspective, thanks for sharing!
So helpful thanks so much! Starting Leeds in September and can definitely relate to you with the studious stereotype but wanting to fit in at uni. People definitely change themselves at uni and aren’t their genuine self sometimes, also pressuring others to do so also, but if they don’t, making them feel weird for not wanting to? So interesting, hopefully people respect this.
this honestly couldn't have come at a better time for me, thank you so so much. It is amazing to hear that I am not alone in my uni experience and that there are infact other people who are going through the same thing!
I never moved out when I went to uni and due to some mental struggles ended up studying for two years and then started working. It has always kind of made me feel like I 'missed out' on being a real student. But now being older and seeing the stuff my sister goes through with like her initiation and the social pressure etc I'm so glad I skipped out on that. I actually decided to go back to uni last year (after having worked for 5 years) and I love being an older and stable student.
I will say though that the normalisation of drinking continuous when you're out of uni... I quit drinking for a year (and still barely drink) and no matter what age, most people find it very weird that I don't drink. Very thankful I discovered that I'm at my happiest when I wake up at 8am on a Saturday, hang over free and being able to enjoy my weekend fully.
Thank you for being so open and sharing your story and views 💕
I'm also at the end of my final year too and I am finally learning what makes me feel best. I enjoying going out to a point and that is what I have realised is the key bit. Regular heavy drinking makes me feel mentally rubbish the next day, but I still go out and drink with my friends, I just don't get too silly. I also realised that if I go out, I enjoy being in bed by 1am and am finally comfortable enough to say to my friends right I'm off now and all they say is let me know when you're home safe and don't judge me at all! I think people are actually far less judgemental than we think they're going to be and once you explain yourself to people they really don't care all that much and it's very refreshing! I also have realised my mental health is much better when I'm getting up and chipping away at my work slowly but surely and I am really proud of myself for that because it's allowed me to take breaks when I need them without the work pilling up too much. I was able to fully enjoy Easter weekend freely with my family and boyfriend without having to stress about oh no I have less than 2 weeks until my diss is due because most of it was written by then!
Good to hear someone talk about this very openly. It's a very important topic!
i can’t even begin to express how much i needed to see this. thank you for making me feel so seen and heard and so much less alone. you truly have such a beautiful heart and just a warmth about you. the world needs more people like you x
This is brilliant!!! I think you’re so real and honest so thank you. It’s good to actually hear like minded people ❤
Thank you for this vid! So articulate, and exactly what I needed to hear right now x
This video was so refreshing to watch! I really appreciate you having this conversation, it’s made me feel so much better about not falling into the stereotypes! The sports team mindset is really problematic and I have stopped playing the sport I played for 10 years because I didn’t want to deal with the ‘social’ ‘fun’ side of it. I hope things will shift now you have opened up this dialogue. Thank you! Xx
I agree with you. I've had a similar experience at uni.
I would say that I think you've missed something, though.
Within the desire to fit in, there is a big unfortunate truth: quite a lot of students at russell group unis are cliquey. It's less of a desire to fit in, and more about the rampant judgment that goes on in the zoomer generation. People are labelled and then judged in kind. Its an issue that the demographic needs to put effort into change.
I've lost count of the amount of times I've been openly judged in a social setting in a casual way, as if its normal. For a generation whose focus is on mental health and equality, we do a very good job on acting in the reverse way.
What you mentioned is the thing I have been thinking for a few months since I started my university. So true...
i really appreciate this video thank you, it's so transparent, and i feel like a lot of people, including me, can relate to this. in term 1 i just went along with certain aspects of uni culture, but in term 2 i started to do what i truly enjoyed and believed in. also i love how well u express urself - u have such a soothing voice too!
This is such an important topic that is not talked about enough. I found it so hard to adjust to uni life and the reality of it because of the expectations I held beforehand. Uni is what you make it and once you start being yourself the right people will find you!❤ It makes me so sad that people might be put off uni because of the culture around partying/drinking, it has so much more to offer!!
Such a great video🙌💕
Uni stereotypes can be so toxic and can possibly ruin your experiences at uni.
I loved this video so much - thank you for opening up a discussion that is often hidden or ignored
Hey Lydia!! I always remember it’s your birthday since it’s the day before mine - happy birthday!! Hope this next year treats you the best 🤍🥳
I quit my first uni at the start of this year because I wasn’t happy about living with my parents, not studying in the UK, not partying enough and not being at a uni where sports societies exist… I’ve slowly come to realise that I don’t really want to go out partying every night, I’m not a massive drinker and I don’t want to feel pressured into going out to party just because I want to play BUCS sports. although it was my dream to come back to the uk, the drinking culture has made me chose to stay abroad to study. this video resonated with me, uni is so much more than just parting and drinking.
Thank you so much for making this video!! I’m starting uni this year and the almost obsession with clubbing & drinking culture (in my opinion) is really weird. That’s not to say I don’t like having fun or enjoying myself but I’m happy that at my firm choice there’s loads of societies, job opportunities and things to do and places to go on campus and in the local city ❤️
From someone who is about to start uni in September this is really useful, especially for someone who is not a big drinker already! X
i really enjoyed this type of video! it’s great and quite inspiring that you’re sharing your thoughts! 🥰
Oh, Lydia! It's so many moons since I went to Uni because that was what I was expected to do. All you say is all I felt at the time and there were many who felt the same way and equally many who partied all night. Like you, I spent the summer and holidays travelling and I don't regret that one bit.
You and Ruby Granger have both addressed the idea of doing Uni the way you want rather than the expected way and I feel certain you will have reassured so many students.
Your vlogs are real and show that even though Uni costs so much there are rather a lot of times when you do not have contact hours. I had a part time bar job in my final year and it was so refreshing to meet every day people as opposed to students.
One question - did you worry about having to be the big drinking party animal BEFORE you went to Uni or not?
x
Thank you for your lovely feedback! I wouldn’t say I was “worried” before starting uni, because at that point I was still trying to convince myself that I DID like those things, so I just assumed that I would do them once I got there! If that makes sense??
I completely agree, the stereotype couldn’t be further enough from my experiences and lifestyle at uni
I go to uni for my degree, I love it and I love working hard and achieving my goals and getting good grades. I also love my long term relationship and occasional clubbing! It's so important to make uni your own experience and make sure to take whatever you want out of it.
First Year of uni baffled me so much because I just wanted to work hard and get good grades but I didn't fit in with my class because they just viewed me as a try hard and my efforts unnecessary because it was "just first year". I wish everyone respected everyones journey individually more often!
WOW I HAD A LOT TO SAY! I agree with you but from an different angle - I only went to a night club once in Ghana with great uni friends around me - I was fine with just drinking but none of the "down it" stuff. I definitely don't have a typical uni experience from the start and I'm aware that it is okay to not have an typical uni experience because I didn't want to do that in the first place ever. But continuing to do things you don't enjoy at uni because you said yes to certain things for wrong reasons, can come under an different label like for example being part of a society committee - the principles are the same - ask yourself wether you actually enjoy it. good thing is you are experimenting and things go wrong but that's okay you can reset in the start of the next term. I now join things that leaves me beaming with joy going home most of the time (non-uni running club), I developed better connections with my course mates 3 years too late! But at least I know what opportunities I would embrace after I leave uni - it doesn't stop at uni!
Can relate to this so much. I was never popular throughout school but I always in the “popular groups”. I tried to fit in so many times but ppl were never receptive outside of my immediate circle. It’s pointless trying to be different at uni unless it is to better yourself as at the end of the day people really do not care
It’s always so much better to just be yourself! X
I relate to this video so much, I stopped drinking between 1st and 2nd year and realised I really don’t enjoy clubbing or the stereotypical uni lifestyle. But I will say, I’m part of a sports society at warwick and I can somewhat defend sports socs, I have been to every single initiation/social etc totally sober and had so much fun. Plenty of sports socs have really good welfare structures and it makes me sad to see that they have such a bad reputation across the uk! Xxx
I’m so glad to hear that you’ve had a good experience! My sports society example was a very extreme one to illustrate my point, I know most aren’t like that and most people have a great experience with them! X
I’m so grateful for this video - thank you so much
I’m lucky that me and my friend who I live with are very much the same in how we like to spend our uni experience. Neither of us like going out clubbing or staying out till the early hours. Instead , our weekends are spent going on walks , going shopping , or just going out for coffee or food 😂
In my 3rd and final year of uni and finally starting to realise this for myself too. Wish I’d realised sooner bc I’m sure I would have been happier and more fulfilled for the past 2.5 years
I think people constantly saying Leeds is good for nights out or I’m only going there for that has worried me a little, a uni having that reputation makes me worry I won’t have friends with things in common as I don’t go out that often
I really relate to this video! Thank you for sharing xx
I needed this so much, thank you! I’m about to finish my 2nd year and I absolutely hate clubbing, I’m not a big drinker, don’t have many friends etc x
Our university have banned initiations. I know that some still do their initiations like rugby but my society never did an initiation. Although they would do stuff in the social which just made me really uncomfortable to watch. Sometimes socs are brutal ☹️
The 'stereotypical' uni lifestyle has been part of my life before I went to uni, but I think it is totally cool if you dont enjoy it, in fact more power to you! However you are completely right about the toxic manosphere peer pressure that said lifestyle can create.
I’m a mature student living in halls, I just do my own thing really… I had allot of health issues and still have so I know my own journey.
Thanks for sharing! ❤
Wow what fantastic content and so true. I think your video will help an awful lot of people not just students. Thanks for sharing and being so honest.
Thank you! X
I’m from Nottingham and go to uni there and EVERYONE defends uni culture esp re. The sports initiations, I remember one time in my second year house I was saying how it’s so stupid and ridiculous, (the extreme parts of sports socials at uni), and everyone was just like oh it’s just part of it as if I were boring that I didn’t want to get naked and run around outside 😭😭😭. All the people from notts I know who are at uni in notts too don’t get it like me, and you’re from notts and you don’t get it either🤣🤣🤣 maybe it’s a Nottingham thing
I'm at Notts too (final year) and I definitely understand what you mean! Sports societies can be so cliquey and elitist, which has alienated quite a few students like myself from joining (and let's not even mention the costs of signing up!).
Loved this finally someone said it
Unfortunately, when I did my undergraduate, the sports society I was part of had a very toxic drinking culture. Because I didn't want to drink because of my medication, I always felt like an outsider. Fortunately, I had terrific housemates that didn't make me feel like that, and just before Covid, I met my now Fiance. x
Lydia I feel like mankind is lost & you can save us
About to start at Leeds in September, thankyou so much for these!
Slay Lydia. Love this
Lots of love and support from nepal 🙏✌️
how do you manage your time?
Love your share！❤
Great video. Are you doing postgraduate study?
Do you have a podcast?? If not you should really do one
Love this video Lydia!!
As someone who doesn't drink and lives in Denmark (one of the countries where young people drink the most) I can definitely recognize a lot of what you are saying. BUT I will also say that people usually respect when I say that I don't drink. It does sometimes require quite a bit of explanation and a lot of saying 'no thanks' to a beer, but my friends and the people who know me never comments on it, because that is just who I am, and that's totally fine.
This was just in the lines of what you were talking about; that real friends should and will understand of you no longer want to follow what everyone else does
Video starts at 3:35
shut up
Hey Lydia Violeta I love your videos so much and please put a heart on this comment and happy thursday afternoon vibes to you and your boyfriend Sid . ❤😊
Imagine clubbing
Why does she speak like is trying to fill a word count .
i feel like this is only an issue for people who are chronically online
peer pressure is a real issue??? nothing to do with online
Thank you for this video. I needed to hear this, needed to hear that I'm not the only one who is only now realising this. You've given me something to reflect on in my current reflective note and it means a lot that you made a vid about this.🫶