Sounds like her husband viewed Eliza as the ideal wife/woman but they weren't domestically compatible, so he outsourced that part to the OP. The fun part will be that, after divorce, Eliza will probably drop all interest in the OP's husband, because he'll start pressuring for more and she still won't want that.
@@blatherskitenoir Interesting take. Plus if OP regains her clarity permanently and lawyers up, she should be able to get alimony and child support, making him also less financially attractive to Eliza or any other girl.
@@goodnightmyprince6734 Yeah, I'm thinking that could happen and is more than likely. He would choose Eliza if there is an Eliza but if there is no one, he will crawl back to OP. Which means OP should treat him as if he was radioactive.
This is why I don’t really agree with people keeping their ex as friends, especially to this degree. Just leave if he won’t make boundaries the first time he doesn’t
Yeah like if you dated for a month or two and you’re not too close anymore but had an amicable break up then it’s fine. At that point your ex is an acquaintance at best but yeah. This is how I view one of my exes. Like I can contact him if I wanted to and him the same with me but we have not talked in years. This one is a red flag because they’re still very much present in each others life and consider each other as best friends. Ofc they will reminisce about the time they were together and still have some entitlement because they were married first.
The husband admitted he married OP bc she's the safe option for him. He and Eliza are too hot or "toxic" together. That’s why their marriage didn’t work in the first place. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. To have Eliza close by included her in every aspect of his relationship while having a "safe space" or OP to fall back on. They played her big time. All those red flags she ignored before marriage was insane. She should've ran for her life.
OP isn't a doormat. This is similar to boiling a frog alive. by the end the frog doesn't even realise it's dying until its too late. 14 years of being gaslit and being made out to be the one with the problem is going to mess with your head. the blame lies with those two who basically used OP as a placeholder while they enjoyed a relationship without the commitment or responsibilities that comes with a relationship.
I agree with your analogy before the termination but that should have been the wake up call. That's like adding another 100 degrees of heat suddenly and still staying in the pot.
she wasn't slowly boiling alive. She jumped in a bucket full of lava and ignored it. He was married to her and she was still his best friend. OP always was his side piece but she hoped she could change him. Even in the end she threw herself at his feed and begged and pleaded how SHE could change to be worth of him loving her.
Make sure you get full custody and he has to pay child support. If possible, get a percentage of his paycheck instead of a set amount, so the more he makes, the more he pays.
That sounds like such a tough situation to be in. It's important to have healthy boundaries in relationships, and I hope you and your husband can have an open and honest conversation about how you're feeling. You deserve to feel valued and respected in your marriage.
That top comment in the video sums up what i thought of the whole situation. Plus, a reason why i disapprove of anyone who keeps their ex around and if they did established ZERO boundaries, especially when they are dating someone new. You can't have best of both worlds, it's cruel and disrespectful to whomever the person is currently dating. If the person you are dating, be it male or female, does not make boundaries with an ex that is still within their social circle, leave them, the trouble and heartache is not worth it in the long run.
The part towards the end where OP threw herself at his feet and begged him really effing pissed me off. She has absolutely no self respect. She might have been manipulated for 14 years into accepting her situation as normal and ok, but good lard have some self respect. Do not grovel at the feet of a nasty, selfish pos like him. It only gives him more power.
honestly, when i heard that part, i felt disgusted by her. I feel like i almost lost all sympathy for her because at least keep your dignity and leave with grace. I can’t stand people that beg for love from their horrible partner. It’s pathetic and angering to hear
You've never felt desperation to that extent before and to judge op for HAVING A BREAKDOWN OVER HER FAILING MARRIAGE is so disgusting. you don't know what she felt in that moment for her to react like that so don't type on your little device judging her like an ahole.
@@yvta_sb you’re right, i’ve never been put in a situation where i’ve groveled on ground for a disgusting excuse of a man and unlike OP, the moment i know something is off with my bf and his bsf, i dip. I’m not saying she can’t be sad/devastated over the revelation but under a circumstance like this, i’m surprised she didn’t fee an ounce of disgust over the fact she heard him say those things. I just can’t find it in myself to care for someone like this.
@@archita7944 maybe she had no way to live if she left him along with the 2 kids. And she is not in a good place mentally because she's grieving the loss of 14 years of her life as well as what she thought was a happy marriage. Even though it was pathetic you should understand her pov too
@@archita7944 ok but op cared for this man for 14 damn years and idk about you but that's pretty long and to just not feel anything for him out of the blue is hard. not everyone can just stop loving someone as easy as you're claiming it to be. maybe just think that op has idk FEELINGS and even after hearing such things, maybe she was in denial cause yk, she loved him. everybody works differently, please try and understand that first before disagreeing with op's behaviour.
He should have stayed married to Eliza if she is his “soulmate” doesn’t matter if they “burn” each other or the relationship is toxic, they still run back to each other anyway, their so called divorce is useless. OP better divorce this man, he is sick in the head, him and Eliza. OP should love herself more see her true worth and prioritize and protect her kids from them, she still has her family(her mom and sister) to help her
It's really understandable to feel hurt or left out if your partner’s best friend seems to take on a role that feels more intimate or significant than your own in the relationship. However, it’s important to approach these feelings with an open mind and clear communication. A strong partnership relies on mutual trust, respect, and honest conversations. If you feel like there’s an imbalance, it might help to have a heart-to-heart with your husband about your concerns. Understanding each other’s needs and boundaries can strengthen both your relationship and the friendship. Everyone deserves to feel loved and valued in their partnership, so it’s okay to express your feelings and work together on finding a solution that respects all relationships involved.
Have you ever thought that OP could be from another country with a whole different culture? Reddit users aren't only from English speaking countries. 😒
@@Grouchbox In most of those, abortion was legal in 2010. In the one case I know of where it wasn't, people who wanted one took a short trip across the sea, not to an illegal clinic.
Honestly I don't understand why the poster thinks she has any right to bitch about her situation when she's the one who got with this dude knowing that he was more about his ex than her and she still went through with having a marriage with him and a kid and she can say all she wants oh he was this amazing person but I'm like are you going to say that if you're already bitching about this person in the very beginning of your story especially with your title maybe that's just me but I'm just tired of these people marrying these guys who are more about their exes then the person their previously with
A lot of these situations happen gradually overtime. "oh he just has a best friend its fine!" you continuedly tell yourself until you can't deny what your dealing with anymore. You don't want to ever admit that someone you DEEPLY love is in love with someone else. Not to mention that your partner will mostly excuse everything, just like how OP even mentioned how her husband would say "that's just how Eliza is". He would excuse it so OP would keep quiet. Not to mention she has been with this man for 14 years, its hard to separate from someone your that intertwined with. Not to mention OP even mentions later on in the video how her husband basically tried gaslighting her into making her stay quiet about Eliza even more. Also, this entire channel is people bitching 💀 that's what reddit stories are, do you know this?
Sounds like her husband viewed Eliza as the ideal wife/woman but they weren't domestically compatible, so he outsourced that part to the OP. The fun part will be that, after divorce, Eliza will probably drop all interest in the OP's husband, because he'll start pressuring for more and she still won't want that.
@@blatherskitenoir Interesting take. Plus if OP regains her clarity permanently and lawyers up, she should be able to get alimony and child support, making him also less financially attractive to Eliza or any other girl.
@@Rorschachqpthe the husband will beg for ops forgiveness when Eliza abandoned him.
@@goodnightmyprince6734 Yeah, I'm thinking that could happen and is more than likely. He would choose Eliza if there is an Eliza but if there is no one, he will crawl back to OP. Which means OP should treat him as if he was radioactive.
This is why I don’t really agree with people keeping their ex as friends, especially to this degree. Just leave if he won’t make boundaries the first time he doesn’t
Yeah like if you dated for a month or two and you’re not too close anymore but had an amicable break up then it’s fine. At that point your ex is an acquaintance at best but yeah. This is how I view one of my exes. Like I can contact him if I wanted to and him the same with me but we have not talked in years.
This one is a red flag because they’re still very much present in each others life and consider each other as best friends. Ofc they will reminisce about the time they were together and still have some entitlement because they were married first.
The husband admitted he married OP bc she's the safe option for him. He and Eliza are too hot or "toxic" together. That’s why their marriage didn’t work in the first place. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. To have Eliza close by included her in every aspect of his relationship while having a "safe space" or OP to fall back on. They played her big time. All those red flags she ignored before marriage was insane. She should've ran for her life.
OP isn't a doormat. This is similar to boiling a frog alive. by the end the frog doesn't even realise it's dying until its too late. 14 years of being gaslit and being made out to be the one with the problem is going to mess with your head. the blame lies with those two who basically used OP as a placeholder while they enjoyed a relationship without the commitment or responsibilities that comes with a relationship.
I agree with your analogy before the termination but that should have been the wake up call. That's like adding another 100 degrees of heat suddenly and still staying in the pot.
she wasn't slowly boiling alive. She jumped in a bucket full of lava and ignored it. He was married to her and she was still his best friend. OP always was his side piece but she hoped she could change him. Even in the end she threw herself at his feed and begged and pleaded how SHE could change to be worth of him loving her.
She ignored so many red flags from the start 😬
Make sure you get full custody and he has to pay child support. If possible, get a percentage of his paycheck instead of a set amount, so the more he makes, the more he pays.
OP is a lot to blame for the situation she walked into with her eyes wide open. Girly pop - this one is on you.
I have never seen such a huge doormat.. She should have left him long ago..
Never should have dated him in the first place. His best friend is his ex wife? No no no.
The only person I share things that quickly is my boyfriend lmao OP is a saint for waiting 14 years
That sounds like such a tough situation to be in. It's important to have healthy boundaries in relationships, and I hope you and your husband can have an open and honest conversation about how you're feeling. You deserve to feel valued and respected in your marriage.
That top comment in the video sums up what i thought of the whole situation. Plus, a reason why i disapprove of anyone who keeps their ex around and if they did established ZERO boundaries, especially when they are dating someone new. You can't have best of both worlds, it's cruel and disrespectful to whomever the person is currently dating. If the person you are dating, be it male or female, does not make boundaries with an ex that is still within their social circle, leave them, the trouble and heartache is not worth it in the long run.
The part towards the end where OP threw herself at his feet and begged him really effing pissed me off. She has absolutely no self respect. She might have been manipulated for 14 years into accepting her situation as normal and ok, but good lard have some self respect. Do not grovel at the feet of a nasty, selfish pos like him. It only gives him more power.
honestly, when i heard that part, i felt disgusted by her. I feel like i almost lost all sympathy for her because at least keep your dignity and leave with grace. I can’t stand people that beg for love from their horrible partner. It’s pathetic and angering to hear
You've never felt desperation to that extent before and to judge op for HAVING A BREAKDOWN OVER HER FAILING MARRIAGE is so disgusting. you don't know what she felt in that moment for her to react like that so don't type on your little device judging her like an ahole.
@@yvta_sb you’re right, i’ve never been put in a situation where i’ve groveled on ground for a disgusting excuse of a man and unlike OP, the moment i know something is off with my bf and his bsf, i dip. I’m not saying she can’t be sad/devastated over the revelation but under a circumstance like this, i’m surprised she didn’t fee an ounce of disgust over the fact she heard him say those things. I just can’t find it in myself to care for someone like this.
@@archita7944 maybe she had no way to live if she left him along with the 2 kids. And she is not in a good place mentally because she's grieving the loss of 14 years of her life as well as what she thought was a happy marriage. Even though it was pathetic you should understand her pov too
@@archita7944 ok but op cared for this man for 14 damn years and idk about you but that's pretty long and to just not feel anything for him out of the blue is hard. not everyone can just stop loving someone as easy as you're claiming it to be. maybe just think that op has idk FEELINGS and even after hearing such things, maybe she was in denial cause yk, she loved him. everybody works differently, please try and understand that first before disagreeing with op's behaviour.
Husband said he found his soulmate and it isn't OP. OP has a right to find her soulmate, and it isn't her husband.
I'm glad I found you on TikTok first and know how good this channel is gonna be, don't use it as often so I'm glad I found you again
Poor kids. 😢
He isn't great if he's treating you like a glorified maid in your own house
Girl, 14 years?
OP is so broken. I hope she find happiness.
He should have stayed married to Eliza if she is his “soulmate” doesn’t matter if they “burn” each other or the relationship is toxic, they still run back to each other anyway, their so called divorce is useless. OP better divorce this man, he is sick in the head, him and Eliza. OP should love herself more see her true worth and prioritize and protect her kids from them, she still has her family(her mom and sister) to help her
If you like stories about doormats, this is the one for you.
This is *EXACTLY* why I say, over and over, that *opposite gender BEST friends* is always a red flag.
It's really understandable to feel hurt or left out if your partner’s best friend seems to take on a role that feels more intimate or significant than your own in the relationship. However, it’s important to approach these feelings with an open mind and clear communication. A strong partnership relies on mutual trust, respect, and honest conversations. If you feel like there’s an imbalance, it might help to have a heart-to-heart with your husband about your concerns. Understanding each other’s needs and boundaries can strengthen both your relationship and the friendship. Everyone deserves to feel loved and valued in their partnership, so it’s okay to express your feelings and work together on finding a solution that respects all relationships involved.
thiss ending was pretty pathetic man...
The post is so sad
Ugh, this must be rage bait, because this was just way to pathethic
Thank you so much for uploading another vid, pls upload more
It was illegal back then, was it? You've been together for fourteen years, you say. So, since 2010? Where was it illegal in 2010? This is so fake.
Have you ever thought that OP could be from another country with a whole different culture? Reddit users aren't only from English speaking countries. 😒
@@Simmie_1 Could be, but they usually will mention how English is not their first language.
English is spoken in quite a few countries.
@@Grouchbox In most of those, abortion was legal in 2010. In the one case I know of where it wasn't, people who wanted one took a short trip across the sea, not to an illegal clinic.
Not everyone can afford to travel that far. Poor people exist.
Omg .. 24 minutes early .. 😢
@@lilactown9778 Don’t cry snowman, not in front of me.
Honestly I don't understand why the poster thinks she has any right to bitch about her situation when she's the one who got with this dude knowing that he was more about his ex than her and she still went through with having a marriage with him and a kid and she can say all she wants oh he was this amazing person but I'm like are you going to say that if you're already bitching about this person in the very beginning of your story especially with your title maybe that's just me but I'm just tired of these people marrying these guys who are more about their exes then the person their previously with
Breathe bro breathe 😂
do you need to take a walk?
@@brusselsproutses Maybe, then he needs to find the punctuation keys on the keyboard. :)
It turns out that humans are flawed broken people. It’s a hard lesson to learn but it is reality.
A lot of these situations happen gradually overtime. "oh he just has a best friend its fine!" you continuedly tell yourself until you can't deny what your dealing with anymore. You don't want to ever admit that someone you DEEPLY love is in love with someone else. Not to mention that your partner will mostly excuse everything, just like how OP even mentioned how her husband would say "that's just how Eliza is". He would excuse it so OP would keep quiet. Not to mention she has been with this man for 14 years, its hard to separate from someone your that intertwined with. Not to mention OP even mentions later on in the video how her husband basically tried gaslighting her into making her stay quiet about Eliza even more. Also, this entire channel is people bitching 💀 that's what reddit stories are, do you know this?