Michael Pearl's Guide to Abusing Children: A Book Review
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
- Today we're reviewing the monstrosity that is To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl.
Check out the archived version of the book here:
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Check out these articles about the damage caused by this book:
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www.slate.com/a...
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![How To Permanently Damage Your Children: A Book Review [Part 2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/VUXgbsSqvoE/mqdefault.jpg)
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Fun fact: dogs learn better from positive reinforcement than from physical pain, so even comparing a child to a dog falls flat for the sake of this terrible book
So right! All physical punishment does for dogs is increase their aggression and may cause them to lash out as they feel threatened.
So your kid is a dog who learns tricks?
Not to mention I have a service dog, and she gets plenty of time to be a puppy. Seeing eye dogs, medical alert, allergen alert, etc, we HAVE to give them breaks or they’ll burn out.
@Density Damon I discipline my dog by holding his snout and making him walk in a circle. It doesn't hurt him at all, but he doesn't like the feeling so it works quite well. I don't know enough about your dog to say too much, but maybe you could try that instead?
@@pucamisc please tell me about service dogs! I really want to learn about them.
“Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child”
Freddie Mercury you’re welcome
WHY DO GOOD GIRT LILE BED BOI
An Dumb Comment IVE HAD THIS QUESTION FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
You are so correct that is why i took my girls away from mandy aka the womb Not to mention both her first daughters called me mommy the first one right in front of her face.
She was finally charged with 34 counts of child neglect and one count of felony assault upon a child under the age of 12.
Amen to that!
I think biting is a natural action in newborns controlled by instinct, but ok, let’s just beat newborns for their instincts.
This is something I’ve never understood - how do newborns bite without teeth?
My baby sister uses biting as a defense mechanism when my other siblings wont leave her alone.
@@Justice237 some have teeth. Even Without teeth, neeple is sensitivecenough for it to hurt
When I was a baby I bit my dad and he bit me back (not hard, more playful)
Biting is due to teething. It sucks that people don’t know this lol. Teething is extremely painful. Ur just causing the child more pain if u beat em. Smh
People like this are all about “personal responsibility” until their book starts being linked to child deaths, then nothing is their fault.
I know. It's very fucked up. People claim to be responsible and honest, but then when they do something wrong, they either play the good ol' victim card or try to justify their actions, even when sometimes there is no justifying what has been done.
Did that really happen?😮
I looked it up... that's HORRIBLE! 🥺
if a kid makes a mistake, their first thought should be “i have to tell my parents, they’ll know how to help me”, not “holy shit my parents are going to kill me”
Emma Crahze I couldn’t agree more
I flat out told my mother that she makes me feel like this even as an adult, expecting her to realise what she’d done, but she only further pushed me away by denying everything
I still feel like I’m gonna be in deep shit even now
Ezra Stardust it’s just such a flawed and short-term-focused way of parenting that just ends up causing your child to feel suffocated and isolated
Emma Crahze it breaks my heart not only because of how it’s affected me but because she’s clearly mimicking how her own mother treated her
I don’t want to be a father because I think I’ll end up doing the same thing
My mum says that she'd like me to tell the truth rather than lie but she she'll hit me either way
When I was young I was dumb enough to tell my mom that i did sometjing she wouldnt like, and after that she pinched my laps until they turn purple. I was 7 by that time XD
“Even newborns experience pain and this must be exploited.”
...that might be the scariest sentence ever written.
noel090909 *_newborn, pain, exploited are three words that shouldn’t be used in the same sentence and if you use them you deserve to have someone calling the police on you_*
I'm no good
"People who cause pain to a newborn must be exploited for the rest of their lives" may be a good sentence
I'm no good “People who exploit their newborns vulnerability for crappy ideas of discipline deserve endless pain.”
Mother Of dogs you and the comment under you are going to the fucking hell
Sounds like something from post apocalypse game or movie where everyone live under control and abused
If you claim abuse is okay because you were abused and you turned out fine, you did not, in fact, turn out fine.
PREACH
This exactly. It’s you’ve been abused to the point where you normalize it, what does that say about you?
Say it louder for the people in the back
YES! If you think abusing kids is fine, you’ve got serious re-evaluation to do in life.
I already saw a tweet that said the exact same thing, but yeah, it's true
Parent: 'Beats their child from a young age'
Child: 'Grows up with many suicidal thoughts'
Parents: Videogames
Parent: hitting a child won’t kill him
Child: suffers great psychological pain and develops ptsd and depression that will potentially drive him to suicide
Parent: phone
Parent: *Yells at their child and calls them names, emotionally neglects them* wELl iT’S nOt lIKE iM hITTING thEM
Child *Grows up with PTSD, trust issues, extreme paranoia and anxiety*
Parents: smh, Damn technology 😤😤😤😤
!!TW!!
Honestly my parents are wonderful and did an amazing job raising me, but they were spanked by their parents and never knew that it was bad. Now, I'm not sure if spanking directly connects to me trash mental health because it wasn't done that often and it didn't hurt(if it did the pain didn't last), but it certainly could be a factor.
@@drunkkillerwhalesdriving Sometimes spanking can be good but in the long term for every single thing the child does turns into abuse. So, it's a grey area to hit a child.
Parents: It was THE LLLEFT!!
In all my 12 years of Catholic schooling they always said, “DON’T take every phrase of the Bible literally” and it’s easy to see why
Yes. To this message
NinjaKED12 definetly. Thats great they teach you that, some people take things wayy too literally and there are cults because of that. Im really happy you and the other people going to that school :D
NinjaKED12 I can relate man
That might be a red flag.
Also, people will absolutely take the Bible literally if it serves their point
So true
“Hitting your child won’t kill them”
And neither will treating them decently...
I wonder how many children ended up hospitalized or dead because that was the end result of escalating beating severity under that belief.
If hitting them doesn't kill them, they'd probably do it to themselves eventually. Sadly these horrible people exist.
@@DanielleWhite Apparently 3 kids died because of this...
www.babble.com/mom/to-train-up-a-child-teaches-punishment-that-kills-kids/
bread god sub to my TH-cam channel pls I’m desperate and gay
@@eleanorbanana8219 make some content and I might
“hitting your child won’t kill them” the bar isn’t just low for these people, it’s on the floor. by that logic, literally anything is acceptable as long as the other party doesn’t die. you could justify slavery, segregation, abuse, etc.
In their mind it wouldn't be slavery or abuse. if someone died as a result of their punishment, God must have willed it. But someone commit suicide as a result of the abuse they experienced, they'd be condemming them to hell. There's so much abuse in this world....Have to shake my head.....
A video of a pastor who raped his wife multiple times a day and justified it because women should submit to their husbands. He was teaching his congregation this was ok. Another cult. www.bing.com/search?q=pastor+rapes+his+wife+australia+cult+youtube&qs=n&form=QBRE&sp=-1&pq=pastor+rapes+his+wife+australia+cult&sc=0-36&sk=&cvid=9D98CBBB834B443A850E3F52FFDC84BF
“Oh, you atempted to murder someone? Well... they didn’t die, so go! Be free!”
Nah, the bar is in the core of the earth
cait the bar is so low, it’s burning in hell lmao
@@ziggilypiggily these christians are cherry pickers! God says love your wife as Jesus loved the church and Jesus would NEVER abuse the church.
The idea you can't criticize a person's parenting because "you're not a parent" is stupid. We were all children, children are humans, it's not hard to determine what's good or bad.
Plus, critics wouldn't be here if the ''You're not a ''__'' so you can't criticize'' statement made sense
I don't need to be a chef to recognize a bad meal
Well, I also think it’s more of a person simply criticizing the abuse of a human being, child or not. Its completely within her rights to speak up on abuse, because what they are doing isn’t parenting.
I dont need to be an author to say a book is written badly
I'm no expert but I'm allowed to have opinions
Louder for the people on the back!
I've always hated this saying.
"Hitting your child won't kill them." Neither will amputating all your limbs, but I don't see you offering.
Wtf I'm confused...
Well, amputating all of your limbs has a high chance of dying, so...
I’m offering, anyone want some nubs?
Spearmint Snakes
aw fuck yeah
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 No? It's just a normal operation.
Micheal Pearl: DESTROY THE CHILD
Also him: I'm a good person because I'm religious.
ProAnal 6988
Pretty much sums up this book.
Jesus: I died for this shit!?
Destroy the child, corrupt them all
I thought it was Michelle Pearl..I must be blind
Everyone I know living in Utah.
"Defeat him completely, accept no terms of surrender" are we talking about "how to raise a child" or "how to conquer a nation" here? God damn
Micheal Pearl’s “The Art of War”
@@Kaanfight "...part 2: How to suppress the rebelion of the heir apparent" ;)
@@Kaanfight Or in this case "...how to make sure the Prince will rebel".
@@Kaanfight It's not even the Art of War. it's far more tyrannical than that.
It's clearly both the first and the last sentence in a torture guide.
"even newborns can experience pain and this must be exploited" ah, reminds me when I was a kid and my parents hit me a lot, and when I asked my mum why, she explained "you don't understand words, but you understand pain"
In my mind, they're not mum/dad, they're just parents. Biological parents, nothing more, everything less.
A good term i like to use for birthgivers and other genetic halves like that is bloodsharer
Parents are full of love to me, bloodsharer says all theyve given you is existence
More like birthers and breeders, parents is just a gender neutral term for mom and dad.
@@ShendonV Not even that. Just abusers without a badge.
If you ask why, you clearly understand words
"defeat him totally" YOU'RE RAISING A CHILD, THIS ISN'T A BOSS BATTLE
Padmja Sopori Now I'm thinking child rearing might be more fun with the proper mood music.
I think they watched boss baby and made some assumptions.
David Roberson lmfao
*Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru*
MrAnimepredator NANNI!?
Yeah, a baby crying because they need something from you and can’t communicate through words yet is totally selfish. You’re not at all being selfish by hitting the child so you get some quiet time. Totally makes sense.
I wouldn’t ever even treat my dogs this way, who the hell would do it to a child? Beating them with sticks? It’s barbaric.
I see my baby nephew scream to the point that his face turns red, I don't see any selfishness. I just see basic emotional changes that can evolve over time.
As much as I think about silencing him, I know it's best to let him go all out. I'm not even a parent myself and I know this. But Mike and Debi ARE...!
Well I mean they do follow a book written 2000 years ago that advocates for stoning your child if they misbehave soooooooooooo
@@Sawdustinthemakeup actually it doesn't?.. those were some wild times and they did hit them and etc but when those principles are applied to modern life they are executed differently. Like you obviously shouldn't rip your eye or arm out when looking at someone w/ desire
My brother who is 12 years old has autism and my mum thought it was a good idea to start hitting him while he was having a breakdown, I had to reassure him I wasn't going to hurt him when I went to calm him down
My little brother bit me a few times, climbs on my head, hits me, I'm letting him for now until he gets a bit bigger but the little asshole does it on purpose 😂
my dad used to hit me every time i messed up when learning to tie my shoes. i never successfully tied my shoes with him as i was crying every time.
my mom and i were out, eating lunch one day when she grabbed two straw wrappers and tied them together at one end. she calmly explained to me what to do. i didn’t cry. she taught me how to tie my shoes right then and there.
I learned how to tie my shoes in second grade because a first grader (she was the younger sister of another kid in my class) taught me how to do it during school.
alex is lonely That reminded me of when I was little, my mom would try to have me recite one to one hundred, first in english, then in thai, I’d try, fail, she’d tell me to try again, I’d fail, she’d get frustrated and angry at me, more failing, and she’d hit me.
..I did end up learning though, but it was definitely not the right way to teach it.
I learned cause I wanted to do it earlier than my older brother lmfao. Sooo....spite?
So you may think this is weird, but my mum had specific ways to put on clothing. For example, she had a specific way to put on tights and if you got it wrong one of the following would ensue; Yelling in your face (moaning about it would be a slipper to the back of the knees) ; ( she’d sit at your knees and watch you do this, by the way) slap your face and if it wasn’t red by the second time you failed another slap to the face or scratch your thigh to leave a ‘reminder scratch’. I never learnt her way, but it’s satisfying now, older and taller ( I’m a F 5’9 ), being able to say ‘NO’.
@@erinkerridge2394 just go up to her and say "a kiss goodbye from a friend of mine" ( referring to your fist) and punch her in the face
“Our children just immediately obeyed us without question.”
THAT’S BECAUSE THEY WERE TERRIFIED!
Exactly! Like the reason WHY they obey, matters!!! (Sorry I’m 3 years late but I just couldn’t help myself😭)
@@kiaratheexplorer4 It’s cool lol. I actually forgot this comment existed. But I agree.
"Self centered" No. They are babies. If you look away for too long they can easily die. That's why they are designed to focus on themselves. They dont have the mental capacity to care for their own needs and their parents.
TempleAmarok it's technically not wrong, a child can't think of the world from any other perspective than their own until a certain stage.... I want to say some time in elementary school....
Not saying that their methods should be used because they are horrible methods of course. I doubt they even knew that little fact or they would have changed their tune because it's backed by science.
Egocentrism is a normal stage of a child's development. Well said.
TempleAmarok lol babies are self centered by evolutionary necessity. To look negatively on this is being in denial about human nature
TempleAmarok That’s so toxic. My mother used to tell my brother and I we are selfish parasites and that we’re horrible for never thinking about her. And you’re, like, ten years old thinking... wait, what?
It's perfectly normal for a small child to be self centered. It's not a bad thing you have to train out of them or something; they'll grow out of it if they're properly raised.
Monsters don't always hide in closets. Sometimes they write books.
Holy Koolaid hi thomas
Hey! I resemble that remark.
I'm a cookie monster though.
Hell, I'm willing to bet the monsters in the closet were hiding from Michael.
Just wondering if this book has been published through a publishing house? And If so how the heck can that be??
Monsters don't always write in closets.
Sometimes they hide books.
Raising a child through fear and pain doesn't make a good child. It makes them sneaky. They become good at pretending to feel how you want them to feel. All the while, all that resentment and anger is stewing inside them.
And that can easily lead to a really messed up kid
Yeah. That’s how I was raised.
Wicked Amoeba FACT.
I was told that it was my fault by my father for getting raped. MY OWN FAULT! Guess whose not coming to my wedding? Guess whose funeral I’m not attending? Getting a job, marrying and moving states has never been better for my soul
So well put. Thank you.
And that is how I was raised. I became a good liar and knew how to earn brownie points from my parents to trust me.
How I learn not to touch/mess with outlets: I was about to put my finger in the socket and my grandma yelled “Stop! No! Danger!” I knew what danger meant so I stoped and ran away from it. I thought that by “danger” she meant that a monster would come out of it. I never touched a outlet until I was old enough to plug things in.
In all honesty, that sounds like solid usage of legitimate parenting ability.
that is GENIUS hahaha
My brother says to my nephew "Ouch! Hot! Hot!" to discourage him from touching the fireplace or a hot radiator and my nephew repeats it so it definitely works.
Also I want to point out that even when training DOGS the preferred technique is reinforcement, not punishment. So even dog trainers are nicer and more respectful towards dogs than this man is to his own freaking children
Sara Wawa this is how you know the world we live in is horrible, dogs are raised better than many children
Sara Wawa I know right? The methods he uses are among my list of torture methods I've read about that traumatized me as a little kid.
*_Read_* about.
Imagine actually being subjected to them.
Disgusting
Sara Wawa most intelligent dogs don't stop doing what their doing when you hit them, they'll either, be scared of you and not trust you(meaning they'll not listen to you in fear they'll get hurt for no reason) or they'll become aggressive towards you thinking you are an enemy not a companion.
Sara Wawa the most “violence” I’ve ever used is very lightly taping his nose for trying to steal food (even after being told no so meany times) not
Btw, as a social worker (child welfare practitioner) who does home visits, if I see this book in a persons house, I think it gives me an idea of how they maybe raising their kids. So thanks for reviewing this for us.
There is absolutely no justification for hitting a human being. In particular a child who cannot defend themselves, or understand why their own parent, their protector, is hurting them and causing pain. For very young children, their parents are their entire world. Parents are supposed to be there to guide their child’s physical, emotional/mental and social development. Inflicting pain is not a form of guidance, or an action of showing affection and love that a child needs.
A newborn baby doesn’t even know what fingers are. Or that they have eyes. That they have the hair that their horrible mother was tugging at. What pain is, why it’s happening and only that it hurts. Their body is controlling them via innate responses. They are not capable of learning complex things like right or wrong. How on earth can they understand physical punishment?
This also sounds like a guide on how to hide physical child abuse.
Thank you, it's absolutely disgusting to hurt your child or sibling in that fact, that's younger than you. Even if they were older, it's still wrong. Just no, they are incapable of love. If the abusers were abused when they were younger, that still doesn't justify their actions. Abuse is abuse, and it should be stopped
i don't have kids, but i do have a younger sister and pet cats, both weaker and more hopeless than me, of course
i could never, ever, see a creature weaker and more hopeless than me and not think of protecting or caring for them. if you're throwing hands on kids or animals, what kind of a human are you?
ugh.
Is this book not enough evidence to take the authors children away?
I would like to say that children WILL remember what happened to them no matter the age. I remember when I was 2 years old being punched in the face by my mum for speaking/being loud on the table with my grandparents. I still see the table the blood and the fear. I stopped making noise for year's I'm 32 know and only for the around 8 years I can speak in groups of strangers. I left home for Ireland and speaking English saved my life...
Just don't judge them solely for having the book, you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover so a parent may read the book, think it's hodgepodge, and put it on the shelf. A lot of times CPS oversteps their bounds and takes away kids they shouldn't. Don't be that person.
It's sad that a random girl on TH-cam knows more about child psychology then people making books on that subject
Mel 4 maybe the person that wrote the book does understand psychology and is using it for bad
Tayler maybe the authors altered and distorted the facts to suit their writing method.
@@tayler2856 No. He doesn't.
Just the fact he thinks punishment is the best way to learn is a proof of that.
Petite Sayo i think what Tayler meant, correct me if i’m wrong, is that the author probably knows that this abuse IS traumatising and finds pleasure in encouraging other parents to abuse, and end up traumatising, their children too. it sounds crazy but not as crazy as what the author is saying.
hope that made sense, i’m not the best at explaining things but that is how i interpreted the comment! :)
and the fact that they (the author and his wife) receive messages from other parents telling them and seeking approval about how they abuse their children; what works and what doesn’t, the children’s’ reactions, etc. is probably the exact sort of response an ill-minded person, such as the authors, would want from all of this.
Micheal: has heart attack
His kids: dont dial 911 because their afraid their going to be hit for touching the phone
well they were never allowed communication with the outside world to even know that they were being abused, as far as they knew it was normal on okay
well they were never allowed communication with the outside world to even know that they were being abused, as far as they knew it was normal on okay
@@asdfgidji879 man... what an asshole
Also did you mean to post this twice?
Well that's okay ... He's getting his punishment
Kind of like the death of Stalin
He says that hitting and switching children is just “training” them the same way you train dogs”.
Tell me, who beats their dog to train it? I’ve never met a professional dog trainer that uses such methods to make the dogs obey them.
Lunafae the only times i’ve seen are light taps to regain the dogs attention if they can’t get it from other methods. i agree with you !
Well beating them works. It's called aversive training.
Basically it assumes that a dog will learn that doing something bad will earn it a slap and will start avoiding situations that earn it slaps.
Of course it doesn't mean you are supposed to beat the shit out of your dog to the point it's a curled up psychotic mess.
Or treat your children like dogs for that matter...
Sonlirain is right also dogs have very thic skin and don't feel a light slap while babies are fragile
Right? Like I've given my dog and cat a little pop on the nose the same way you might give a light pap on the hand. It's not meant to be painful, it's mean to give an obvious signal that what you just did was a no-no. You're not supposed to hurt the dog, you can give a light pop that wouldn't ever hurt them, but you're not supposed to purposefully inflict actual pain on them!
And also when you hit a dog , can’t it get taken away from you because it’s uhhhhhhhya know abuse
Their logic: abusing kid = great social life
Actual logic: abusing kid = fear, anxiety, trust issues, etc.
Yup! *raises hand to confirm that statement*
Also it can equal psychopaths and you know. Literally my dad says that's how some abused kids grow up.
@@clemenmurillo7806 true, but rare...they will most likely grow up with bad habits and violent tendencies.
@@clemenmurillo7806 Psychopaths are born, they cannot be made. however, Sociopaths can be made through abuse and certain social conditioning, and are similar to psychopaths.
Not to mention self-destructive tendencies
Them: "I was abused as a child and I turned out fine!"
Also them: * Makes a guide on how to mentally and physically scar a child *
People should learn the difference between a light smack or a small pinch on the arm and straight up whacking a child with a stick. One serves as a little warning, while the other is straight up abuse. Seriously though, it seems like the author (and many others like him) is looking for an excuse to beat up children.
@Park ChimMin neither are ok!!!!
Amythyst Hughes Look, I’m against using physical violence to punish children, but a small pinch is literally just a small pinch. It’s not like you’re beating the hell out the kid.
@viibes :3 In my personal opinion it teaches children that they can put their hands on someone to teach them a lesson as discipline. No one should fear physical pain from loved ones.
I'm 15 and I turned out fine😂😂 I think some people need some physical discipline when they get out of hand/ when you've talked and did you best and showed them what they're doing wrong, but it has to have some limitations, my mom didn't know her limitation when she was disciplining me, and she has changed. I saw and understood what she was doing wrong so I probably won't do much to my child, is probably just talk to them and show them what they're doing,
Baby: * tries to get the nutrients it needs to survive by getting milk from its mother *
Mrs. Pearl: And I took that personally
LOL for real!!!!!
“A triple spin kick to the head followed up by a burning uppercut should be an adequate punishment for breathing too loudly.”
"Tatsumaki"
"Don't forget to tie them to the wall, whiplash is a danger for newborns"
This book is horrible but that sentence was hilarious.
I was angry at the video so I began reading the comments and this made me laugh so thank u
One sharp kick directly to the face, delivered in a calm and controlled manner, is usually sufficient. You must follow up by looking the child directly in the eyes with a cold foreboding stare until their spirit is broken into despondent submission. After that generally you'll want to have some kind of gesture, either by twirling your moustache or just throwing your head back and cackling like a madman, things of that nature.
This seems like a guide to make a submissive, fearful child that hates you rather than one that will visit you in the retirement home.
that is me tbh. my mother raised me an my sister before this, and 17 years into my life, I despise her very existence.
100%. This book is for people whose only goal in parenting is to have their child obey them.
Why
Well. That's fior me
My mom would hit me when I didn’t listen to her, even when I wasn’t aware she was speaking to me. If I was on my phone or the laptop while she was around, she would sometimes just take it from me to snoop through my stuff and see what I was doing, looking for a reason to punish me.
I still remember a time I had paused while cleaning my room, for not even a second, while she was talking. She was furious and I had just stopped to hear what she was saying. She pushed me against the wall and slapped me across the face three times, shouted at me for not cleaning, and left me to cry in my closet.
That didn’t teach me to obey, to clean faster, to hand over my stuff when she wants it. It taught me to fear her presence, to fear a messy room, to fear her voice. It’s only when I got older and got to the age where I’d be able to reach out to other, she stopped.
Hope you moved beyond your past :( no child should deal with that...
Never contact her again. No matter how much she begs, never contact her!
I'm glad you reached out man. I hope your doing better, and your mother has worked/working in these blatant issues.
Kaocat:3 thanks for supporting people in the comments.
@@noyes8882 no problem dude.
as a young teen who’s never been abused, hit or trAined by my parents, yet been told no / explained why “no”, i have an amazing relationship with my parents and would do anything for them not out of fear but respect.
This is how normal decent parenting look like
I’ve had the same experience. Sure, I get stuff bought for me by my parents, but they often set a budget for how much they spend on me, and once I’ve spent that budget, anything else I’d like, I buy myself.
Alternative title "How to die alone in the shittiest nursing home
Semen Maslak alternative title “How to ensure you’ll get beaten when you shit your adult diaper and your adult child has to change it.”
Love this
no joke, this is why we never helped my mothers parents and why I never mourned them.
Amen
Yeah let's see them try paying for even the shittiest nursing home on just SS...
The worst thing about the biting/hair pulling thing is that he said "nursing mothers" which would mean that if the baby bit her nipple while trying to feed thats when she would pull the hair. Literally teaching the baby NOT TO EAT.
hahayourfunny94 I can't imagine doing that when my little girl is here to her. For anything, much less nursing.
Wouldn't surprise me if the infant develops disordered eating as a child. Heartbreaking....
hahayourfunny94 its disgusting. Every breastfeeding mother has dealt with bites. Apparently this sick woman is just too weak or impatient to deal with the natural hurdles of being a mother
True. There's a good chance that they'll develop an eating disorder :(
Kayleigh or never properly learn how to latch on to a nipple messing up their nutrition during breast feeding and bottle feeding.
How have they not been arrested? I mean, they literally published their confession of committing child abuse.
Guess the police is too busy shooting unarmed black people
AlashiaTuol because probably it isn’t exact evidence and if they were to investigate they would say ‘training’ so its not like they would actually even confess but if they got some statements and asked the kids and the right question they would probably have enough evidence
AlashiaTuol at least they're admitting to it I guess. This is the day69 of books.
I don't understand how he's still walking free. Three children (all from separate families) have died because their parents were followers of his. I'm shocked he wasn't charged along with the parents.
The question is how isnt that book banned already. Or taken out of the market. Even the most radical believer should see this book is outright crazy.
"Come submissively to his beating." Isn't a way to raise a child it's my search history.
LMFAO
OMG! 😂😂😂 I know this is a serious issue, but that joke was still hilarious! What an underrated comment!
OMG
HAH
LMAO
These people don’t deserve kids. Why would anyone with these opinions have children.
Because we are not sterilizing them like we should.
Because the whole reason they’re having kids in the first place is to have a little slave to rule over. It makes them feel superior.
rylee burnand Should they even be called people?
@@averageperson4953 I call them Hegemonizing Swarm Objects.
Average Person you’re right, they’re *monsters*
A cheerful atmosphere in the home"
Do you mean:
*Your child is pretending to be happy whilst they plot to snuff you out with a pillow in three days?*
to be fair theres probably genuine joy if they have that plan. Knowing how close they are to freedom
@@asdfgidji879 unsettling
Way to call me out like that but I'm planning to just put chemicals in their tea
I say often to my partner that I would’ve killed their dad if he was my dad. At least would’ve stabbed him or something. People are conditioned in abuse to think their abusers are all powerful, but I was abused and that never worked with me. When someone hit me I hit them back, every time.
As somebody who was often beaten with a rod as a child you have no idea how close to truth you are. Being a physically weak but fairly smart kid (around 8y old) I had several plans of how I was going to get my father seriously injured or killed in a way that won't be traceable to me. Really glad I got rescued by my kind grandparents who saw what was coming.
"Never ridicule, mock, or laugh at your child's ideas, creations, or ambitions."
Instead, beat your child for them.
I'm not well versed in the law, can this book be used as evidence against the couple who wrote it? They shouldn't be allowed to be near children, much less raise them. Foster homes are shitty, but they exist because there are things even worse.
Exactly what I was thinking about. How are they still running free??? And their poor children.
I dont know about the UK but I live in the US and here, likely not. Now CPS could theoretically look into it if they have dependents. But otherwise, this would probably fall under freedom of speech
My father and mother were complete opposite people.
My father liked violence and throwing things.
My mother used love and kindness. Guess which one worked better? Guess which parent I respected more and still respect?
They got divorced when I was 18 months old, and that was the best thing my mother did.
To the man that wrote this book: Your child would be safer, and happier in an orphanage, than in your “care”.
they’d probably be safer taking care of them f*cking selves than with his “care” and “love”
-Guy says it's okay to set traps for your children because God set traps for Adam and Eve
-Forgets that Adam and Eve were fully grown adults capable of complex thinking
XxDark slayerxX And that God was all powerful and had no fucking reason to test them.
And forgetting that the Bible's only proof of it being penned by anyone other than ancient & plagiarising humans is located *ONLY* in the Bible.
(I've read the Bible & I'm not a huge fan of the Crap supposedly pulled for naught).
Albert Nave he had to see if they could resist sin my dude
limon leme not to mention that if people didn't have the choice to love God, then it wouldn't be real love
You could make the argument that Adam and Eve weren't capable of complex thinking until they had already eaten the fruit, but that still doesn't make it okay to set traps for your kids just to get an excuse to hurt them
If a child is too young to understand you when you're trying to tell them what they did wrong, they are too young to understand why you hit them
Madison Bodfield but when is a child too young to understand right and wrong? People really underestimate how intelligent kids really are, most know right from wrong from before they can crawl- even in situations where all they see is wrong, wrong, wrong. If you dont enforce what is right (an sometimes a spanking or pop on the ass is needed for that, especially if say your kids pulling a dogs tail, or trying to play with something potentially dangerous)
@@Eclipsethealpha i cant quite recall from my psychology class but i believe children dont develop an understanding of abstract concepts such as right and wrong until either 9 or 11 years old. i could be wrong, but i do know they dont get a real understanding of such things on their own until later elementary school age. anything younger is is most likely the child parroting what theyve been taught by adults. i could be wrong but thats what i can recall off the top of my head.
kix kix abstract thought is generally believe to be developed anywhere from 9-16 years of age, but children have been proven to exhibit a sense of morality from a very young age, morality has been proven in recent years to be instinctual, but persuaded by ones environment. A child from as young as 1-3 years of age understands that certain things are right and certain things are wrong. The best time to “train” a child in terms of morality and what is and isn’t socially acceptable is from from about 2-9 years old. I had to sit through three years of human and health sciences, its like a coverall for psychology, behavior, development, and culture as it pertains to children and teens, as well as some extra stuff that doesn’t pertain to the convo (drug and alcohol abuse, death, marriage, pregnancy and statistical data about literally everything) something that was also taught was the abuse cycle, abuse, and how to help/spot/stop and abuser/victim.
The book that shes talking about does most definitely have extremely toxic and abusive notes in it, but physically punishing a child for something they did wrong is not abuse, it’s discipline. It becomes abuse when the parent physically punishes the child for small matters and overdoes the punishment (pulling an infants hair for biting, beating the shit outta ur kid for leaving the toilet seat up, sitting on a child 6 times smaller than you)
A child receiving a pop on the hand when they reach for something they dont need to be messing with is okay, setting the child up to be hit is not, spanking your child for being disobedient at a restraunt or for giving lip is okay- in moderation- spanking your child for not coming to their name being called is not. Switching a child for stealing or sneaking out is okay- in moderation- switching your child for idk, coloring on the walls, is not okay. It all is within moderation and for the right reason. The problem is parents aren’t taught the right and wrong reason and either overdo it or under-do it. I personally would never switch my kid more than once and even that once they would have had to done something absolutely terrible.
@@Eclipsethealpha first of all, no child knows the difference between right and wrong at crawling stage. It's mostly just what to do or not do because of reinforcement. I was never spanked and i grew up without problems. Spanking a child for exploring the world is not a good thing to do, period. Your child then internalizes the spanking but not why you did it. I was always told why not to do something, and i was put on timeout without my books (these were of paramount importance). I learned my lesson, got a punishment, and no one got hit.
I'm a social worker now.
nakedlaughing well i did get spanked and havent internalized shit dude. It all depends on the kid, as ive said already, and how they react to the punishment. Some kids react to soankings, some kids dont, some kids react to time outs, some kids dont. I reacted to spankings and not really time out as much, my older brother reacted to spanking, my younger brother reacted to time outs, my youngest sister reacted to words. Its all dependent on how the kid reacts. If you are a social worker and u put people down as abusive for spanking their child then i have a serious problem with that.
And i dont mean spanking your kid til they have welts and bruises either, i mean just 1-5 moderate hits. There is nothing wrong with it, its not abuse. Im not a social worker myself, its not what i want to do in life, but i could very well be one right now if i chose to and i would have nothing wrong with a parent who spanks their child unless the punishment was way overboard and/or for no good reason.
It’s actually terrifying that parents like this exist
My son used to spill water all over the floor for our water dispenser. 15 minutes in timeout without cartoons a few times and he doesn't do it anymore. It's possible to teach children what and what not to do without inflicting pain. It's not easy raising a child but if you can't control your emotions you shouldn't be a parent. There's no reason a child should suffer just because you cant handle yourself.
Now this is parenting ^ not whatever nasty bullshit was that book.
Thanks you
Also funny cuz you have 123 likes
Amen
my dad says "moms say that you can't hit your kid because it's abuse but that's the only way they'll learn!" he's a Trump supporter. and homophobic, transphobic, racist, and sexist. I'm not exaggerating...he's a terrible father
cindy the cringey lmao these white moms love “timeout”
I am not trying to be dramatic, but this video drove me to tears as a survivor of abuse.
I cannot fathom having a child-an innocent human being who relies on you simply to live, who trusts you implicitly-and purposefully abusing them. This goes beyond hitting, which is evil enough; this is the methodical, unrelenting destruction of a human being’s spirit.
You are not only causing them pain and potentially inflicting SIGNIFICANT injury, you are treating them as subhuman and conflating love with violence and cruelty. You are teaching them that they can trust no one, that making mistakes is NEVER excusable, and that they deserve to suffer.
The people who wrote this book do not know what love is and my heart breaks for every child harmed by their evil.
I'm also a victim of abuse. It's so hard to move on from that environment, and these monsters encouraging you to abuse your children makes me sick
You say "evil," but they think it's justified. They're delusional masochists with a superiority complex.
QJ89 they aren’t even humans they are evil creeps who need to d I e
Saying that you are abusing someone because you love them is absolutely disgusting it only will it cause them pain now, but all throughout their life. They will believe if someone hits them it’s out of love or they will abuse people thinking it’s out of love.
Oddrey M ^^^^
My grandmother purchased a copy of this book for me after the birth of my youngest child. I felt no guilt whatsoever burning it after reading up to chapter 2. Yes, she read it. Yes, she agreed with it. Yes, I was a disappointment, she was kind enough to let me know for sure while on her deathbed. Miraculously enough, my kids turned out quite well without training. One is a Master's student, one is in the US Army, and the youngest is an amazing young woman who graduates high school this coming spring. They all have opinions and their own voice, it's marvelous.
Sounds to me like SHE failed at raising her daughter to properly raise you if she considers you a disappointment.
I'd like to know what your mom was like. My grandmother was a hitter and my mom had a lot of internal struggle with it raising us.
Pignated oink whut?!
Pignated oink
Boi I hope that was sarcasm
No offense, but your grandma sounds like a bitch. People like her come to mind whenever someone gives me the "respect the elderly because they are old" speech. No, fuck off, I'll respect people who deserve respect, age is irrelevant.
My mum hit me when I was really bad when I was little. Usually a wooden spoon, or a ruler.
Now I'm an adult, I have a BDSM fetish.
I don't think this was the intended result.
Oh, thank god. I'm not alone in this world.. lol
my dad choked my once and i have an asphyxiation kink now (safely) lol
😂
You can control it now 🙂
🤣🤣
I hate it when these terrible people try to justify their cruelty through the Bible. That’s not what it’s about, and will never be. He is literally doing what cults would do. Justify bad by showing good.
Also if they’re using that logic then women who get raped should be beaten to death, the Bible is fucked up and so are the people who wrote this book
These people take parts they like from the Bible , context ? What’s that ? And run away with 2 lines :) caz that’s how religion works
Um I'm pretty positive that the Bible reccomends that children who talk back to their parents should be stoned to death, I don't think the people who wrote the Bible would take any qualms with any veiws in the Pearls' book(s) other than perhaps that it isn't cruel enough.
@habeshaa 815 Deuteronomy 21:18-21
@habeshaa 815 and on behalf of Three cheers for sweet cheese whizz: Deuteronomy 22:23-27
if hitting another adult can land a person in prison, children shouldn't be hit either.
IKR?
Idk if you got this from another source or whatever, though shit this is a bit too true
@Freakazoid 27 Lmao, dude that doesn't make it acceptable. That's like saying "I got punched by a stranger and I turned out fine". Sure, maybe the punch didn't have a huge impact on your personal life, but punching a total stranger is still not acceptable behaviour and can land that person in prison or with fines to pay. It also doesn't take into account that every human is different. While a few beatings may not had done harm to you, someone with a different personality may have internalised those beatings differently.
I think the person was being sarcastic, becauseeveyr person who got slapped in the face say "my parents hit me as a child and i turned out fine", i believe this is sarcasm because the leather belt bit sounds more violent to those people in general so you definitely can't see it as "normal" even if hitting a child at all is terrible
@@erwanasuzumiya6347 A leather belt is a pretty normal child beating tool. A lot of kids who were/are hit are hit with either belts or switches (thin branches). I don't really see the sarcasm in stating "my parents used to beat me and I turned out fine", it's just repeating a comment that some abusers make.
Hitting your baby for reaching for something YOU put in front of them won't teach them to obey you. It'll teach them not to trust you.
Rainy Day Exactly! The child will have trust issues!
Kind of like how the Christian God put a tree with forbidden fruit right in front of Adam and Eve and punished their descendants with death and eternal damnation for daring to take the fruit.
I've heard so many people tell me that their parents hit them when they were young children and it taught them proper respect.
All of those people have absolutely wild stories about crazy, legitimately dangerous shit they got up to as teenagers.
Because, as you said at the start of this video, being hit by someone bigger and stronger than you teaches you to be afraid of people who are bigger and stronger than you, but it doesn't teach you anything about respect, or responsibility, or the concept of right and wrong.
I was spanked and switched as a child and I’m just fine.
Jk, I suffer from moderate to severe depression, moderate anxiety, jumpiness at loud sounds/voices, and constantly wrestle with the never ending, all consuming fear of failure and disappointment that has literally haunted all of my decisions as an adult. Don’t hit your fucking kids.
Lyanna I can relate to all of this and I'm sorry you had to experience such negative growing up. It sucks.;(
i feel that
Wow...... until reading this, I was convinced my mom’s aggressive parenting didn’t phase me and that spanking and stuff wasn’t necessarily “abuse,” but...... I have a lot of issues and there’s honestly no real reason why I should have them.... And now that I think about it, I have all those problems you listed.... and they can probably all be linked to the fact that I loved my mom but was in fact actually terrified to upset her.............
Damn, I’m shook. I need a hug...
Blame it on your childhood. 😜
No one can take that from you.
All that AND I ran into the and of an abusive piece of garbage because I thought it was LOVE.
You're not alone. Spanking can cause problems.
Child: *breathes*
Authors: This is an avengers level threat.
😂😂😂😂😂
"if your child breathes exesacly or even at all, use a rope, towel or if you have nothing around your hand to choke the child. While beating your with your hand is ineffective. It works very well in this case. This will teach them not to steel your air. Which in turn will instill in them the moral value that theft is worng. After choking the child talk to them about the value of air and why using without permition is imoral. This can be used on children from newborn to 35. Continuing this practice throughout their life will show the child that you control them. If your child doesn't respond it's because they hate you for trying to teach them things. Hate is a power chemeical the stop the brain from functioning. But don't worry, it will pass.."
Dougie26200 2 Interesting joke 😂😅
@@xeecstasy3183 thanks.
As someone who studied conditioning (working with reward) in rats for years, how do you screw up parenting so bad you're strategies wouldn't even work with rats? Do you know what rats do when they realize that you're punishing them every time you catch them eating treats? They start trying to find ways to avoid you catching them eating treats. They don't stop eating treats and come to understand your anti-treat values and carry them forward into other cages, they just try to stop getting caught. All you end up with is a bunch of manipulative rats who probably hate you. And I don't know that rats try to make sense of the meaning of the puzzles they're put in (I like to think my rats had elaborate theories about why we gave them treats every time they touched a lever when it lit up, I like to think they all sit around discussing what the lever does and one of them is like "I don't think the lever does anything! I think this is all part of some big experiment!" and everyone else is like "oh my god Bob here we go again...") but I do know people contemplate why they've been punished/rewarded, and it seems to me like "because I got caught by mom/dad" is a bad base to build that understanding.
I was thinking the same. When I was punished for something I shouldn’t have been doing (not like for example, stealing or something like that but things that other kids were allowed to do) I figured out even more elaborate ways to do it. That’s one of the reasons I can make up believable excuses for almost anything or lie at the blink of an eye. But, I also hate liars and feel bad if I lie, so that’s a good thing to prevent me from being a compulsive liar.
They’re teaching their children learned helplessness, which is associated with so many negative developmental outcomes. They aren’t building their children up to be productive members of society.
Brilliant comment
@@safala totally. As a kid I became a bit of a compulsive liar for a time.... I wouldn't tell my mom anything.
my parents were strict but not abusive. i lied an incredible amount to not get into trouble. it kinda screwed me up, my freshman year of college i realized what a problem it had become, that i even lied to myself constantly. i decided to only tell the truth from then on, and ive pretty much been truthful since. im 29 and have a better relationship with my parents now than when i was younger because they started trying to understand me more once i … had an attempt and was hospitalized in 2016. anyways my point is that i felt the same, if i dont get caught i wont get punished, i never thought the stuff i was doing deserved punishment.
“How to Give a Child Multiple Disorders Including DID, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, etc!!” I fixed the title.
You hit a child so young by setting up traps.
You create a paranoid child.
You make a child think of hitting when they hear the word no.
You create a violent child who hits those who say no to them.
Congrats, you created a domestic abuser and likely worse. God I hope you’re satisfied.
Goldie Empyre way too close to home my friend
Goldie Empyre you wrote a better paragraph than that entire books contents combined.
*Vomits at the thought*
These people disgust me
Wyatt Bequette *Bows*
Lukas Novella Same! I can't even imagine that thought process! How insane must you be?!
Parents: *hit their child*
Also parents: WhY iSN’t my cHiLD TalKING to ME?!?!?!!???!?!??
Chaos Beam
It’s such a mystery.
Honestly true my sister beat my niece growing up and she moved out at 17 and now my sister sits on her bed crying wondering why her daughter doesn't want to come visit her :)
none ya That’s honestly horrible. I hope your niece is doing ok
@@noneya5954 Man, fuck the parents...
My parents do that and they wonder why I don't speak to them "Oh, father , spanking, speaking down to me, calling me names and shaming me for being bullied, and saying i'm not allowed to have mental ad psylogical issues is totally NOT the reason I don't come to family reunions or hug you or tell you i love you" Like I get it, you want your child to listen. But how my parents and so many others, if you beat and hurt your kid without telling them why they shouldn't do it or why doing it upsets you won't make them love you or care for you growing up. As a kid I got hit for doing things that normal kids do and mess up because that's the part of life, I remember being 4-7 and at that time I had a weak bladder and couldn't make it to the bathroom and guess who got beat and left in their room as punishment? When I got older I just got more and more angry for getting hit for small things so I started to rebel and steal, but also got hurt for it and I told myself that I would never love my parents or trust them. When I got to my teenage years (still a teenager now just almost 18) I became fearful and just very scared of doing something wrong or saying something wrong so at 14-16 I stopped speaking and only would talk if I was asked a question and would try my best not to even be in their pressence but later my dad was sad and told all my siblings that I don't love him and I never do because if you child isn't speaking to you then they're disrespectful and ungrateful and don't care about you at all because you totalllly ddn't do anything wrong
Sorry for this vent.. i'll see myself out now
my dad got beaten as a kid and now his entire body goes “no” when he hears screaming. he borrows my noise-cancelling headphones quite a bit
:'(
My father got beaten so he abused my mother, siblings, and me. I much prefer your father's method of dealing with it
@@jana7359 I'm sorry that happened to your family. I hope your okay now
@@smudged4090 Yeah I'm fine. My Ma, brother, and I moved out about a year and a half ago
Jana Great to hear!
To everyone in the comments saying that they're glad they got hit or slapped or spanked as a kid- I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I assure you you weren't as bratty as you think you were.
Actually, I wish I was spanked or punished somehow. I wouldn't stand for what I did, or didn't do (what I was supposed to), as a parent now (if I had kids). My parents were too lenient on me.
When I was a kid, I was also part of the my parents hit me and I turned out fine crowd. Now as an adult, I know that I am not fine and nor are my sisters. In fact, my sisters were more negatively affected than I was. But God forbid we critique the picture perfect way to bring up children as was taught in the Bible. At least I know what book I won't go to for parenting advice.
@@huyked Okay pal, just don't reflect your kink on youths k?
@@ButWhyMe...
Good straw man, stupid. It's not a kink. It's a life observation.
@@huykedyou can be disciplined without being hit yo
This book should be called “How to traumatize your child”
How to cause CPTSD. Because this has happened for people I know. I think they were raised before this book, and not nearly as strictly, but the same idea applies.
*how to give your child PTSD and maybe make them insane*
Cant wait to have children and fuck them bitchasses up
Phoenix J. Haha yes
@@bendover2684 perfect text for a 5 Star review of this book
This book should be renamed "How to Raise a Serial Killer".
raelonewolf “how to raise a sociopath”
How to make your children kill you when they grow up
How to raise a school shooter
How to raise more abusive parents with several mental problems
How to raise your own early death
Here's a better guide:
You just fracking don't
A Bicycle you know, you could sell that guide and make more money than they did for their bullshit
It’s in the fracking ship!!!!
You said Frakking. BSG Love.
Just gonna say that my parents used this book to raise me and 4 of my siblings. I have a little brother eight years younger than me, and my mother has never used any of its teachings with him. The difference between him and my brothers at his age is astounding. He doesn’t try to solve his problems with violence like we were taught to, he’s great at communicating his wants and needs, he can understand why what he does is right or wrong. I am so glad he doesn’t have to grow up in the purity culture hellhole we did, and I wish my mom could’ve broken away from my dad’s ideals sooner.
Also she got that book (as well as the help meet one) recommended to her by a husband and wife with a nine year age gap plus the husband totally groomed his first wife when he was 18 and she was 13 with the express approval of the church elders so make of that what you will. I hate Baptist churches
I’m so sorry. I hope you’re all doing well ❤
Oh? They're trying to climb the stairs? Oh no, oh crap, they're going to hurt themselves! Honey, grab the switch so we can hurt this baby even more, and teach them a lesson about getting into dangerous situations. Wow, yeah, because hurting your child by trying to keep them from hurting themselves is any better.
thinking some parents honestly think hurting a kid is the best way...
Toby Bleh
To an extent, with a child younger then talking/language it has its place
Your child keeps trying to poke their fingers or things in outlets - flick their fingers. Something small. It rely does not matter if you have covers, kids are smart and have patience for things they should not be doing.
Punishment has its place. But a switch is beyond excessive
You’d think these people have never seen a baby gate
Toby Bleh I am personally offended by the fact is was a willow rod
There is no perfect way to raise a child. It all depends on the environment around the child, and the child's personality. Only being 14, I can say that since my mother likes yelling at me so much, I hate bringing up my problems. To anyone. It hurts me to think I'm not the only one out here with those problems, that more than one person could be stupid enough to think that hitting a child is okay. It emotionally destroys them. Yelling isn't okay, either. Calmly talk to your child about what they've done is wrong and why it's wrong. Explain to them it's not good. After, tell them it's okay and that you still love them. Trust me, positive reinforcement can go over just as well as negative can go poorly.
Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as any other form of abuse. I can vouch.
I agree, verbal and physical abuse are both a horrible way to raise a child, especially since the child won't understand and will think that's okay. When the child grows up they are most likely to have problems, but even mad about all of that, children will forgive their parents. For me, I despise my parents, I think they're horrible people, but spending 15 years with them has caused me to love them in a way in which I'm dependent and care about them..
@@seksipilna That is messed up, having both resesentment and co-dependence on your parents. If you're old enough, can afford it or have enough social support, you should move out ASAP.
If only I were that lucky...
I also think the answer to everything a child asks should not be “cause I said so” because that’s not an answer!
My comment was a little unrelated but it’s okay! Saying because I said so isn’t abuse, it’s just not a very good response.
"And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no condition to surrender. No compromise. Your are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final."
Wait, are we still talking about "To Train Up A Child?" Sounds more like "Mein Kampf" at this point.
THIS MUST BE EXPLOITED
or "How to train a child to grow up to be a bullying psychopath" - and sadly it'd be hereditary; the child treated like this grows up to be like this, and to treat their children like this … and so the cycle continues.
Really what if a giant come around and started to demanded the authors to worship Satan, and if they refused the giant beat them to a pulp with a road sign? If they rely on "might makes right" then they are screwed when someone bigger and stronger then they are come and demanded things of them.
@@vitharakhay8198 lol but "might makes right" is only valid to them if they're the "might"; it's "unfair" in all other situations.
I thought you were talking about raping Mr pearl.....thank fuck
My father taught me there are four types of parents the all loving, no discipline parent, the all discipline, no love parents, the balenced parents, and the parents who aren’t even there.Guess which one is the worst?The all discipline parent
My parents are balanced
My parents aren’t even there. My mom went to an instituite, and my dad is a drug addict
@@rachelburke5505 my best to you
LMAO, A CHILD GETTING A FLASHBACK OF PAIN EACH TIME THEY WANT TOO TOUCH SUM, THATSS PTSDDDD
IKR how do they not realize that?
@@Bella-zf6nl Due to a medical mistake i was diagnosed with Autism and my most recent worker told me to go outside and get a buggy. I had a bit of a flash-back to an incident in my day care where i was told to go outside and color. i got a bit confused and actually went outside and got a whuppin' for it. What the day care worker meant by outside was to the play area but 5-6 year old me thought she meant the actual outdoor porch cause i was told outdoors.
In the buggy thing she wanted me to get a small buggy of which there were none and i wondered 'uh outside like this or do i actually go outside the store? This is just like that daycare incident' the worker i was with showed me that she meant for me to get a buggy from outside the store and told me off for not listening and i was thinking 'well you should've been more specific' but i said nothing aloud as i had loooooong since learned that trying to explain the situation only led to me being yelled at like i was a 5 year old.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Disorder Disorder Disorder
@@lizgawin899 It is amazing how traditionally raised adults sincerely believe that their own emotional outbursts are the correct way to teach a child, while the child is learning only that the adult _might_ have their head on backwards sometimes... so since the adult can't be trusted to protect children, the only safe course of action for the child is to avoid danger from the adult's unstable mental state. And apparently that's satisfactory......
@@davidk7529 my grandmother does have outbursts i, and the others she's raised, watch out for but she only has them when, for example, if she sees someone go up behind me and shove their hands down my pants. Now that's just being a good grandparent, not an abusive one. She prefers trying to talk things out in a reasonable and civilized manner first and having an outburst as a last resort. She has a firm hand but is quite fair, tryin' to keep it as real and as honest as she can with me and i respect and love her for it.
So, in my culture physically abusing children is very common. I grew up getting abused. My mom used to yank my hair, slap me, kick me, ram my head against the wall, hit me with belts, sticks... And on some occasions even sat on my face to suffocate me. Basically she took out her frustrations of a failed marriage on me and nobody said anything because "disciplining" like this is normal here. My dad and bro also hit me but they drew a line at yanking my hair and slapping me. It only made me more and more rebellious. I became sneaky. Got good at lying. Got good at faking. All the while I had this burning anger and resentment inside me. Do I love my family now that I am 25 and understand things better? No. I don't. I can't love them because they never gave me a chance to. And this is only the physical abuse. The emotional abuse is longer. I would've gone mad from depression and anxiety if it wasn't for my current boyfriend who helped me come to terms with a lot of things. He helped me take the decision to seek therapy. And I will honestly be always grateful to him. He is my angel and life. Please don't ever do that to your children. Its so very cruel and unnecessary. If you think you cannot handle a child then don't become parents.
Savage Brown Girl I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I'm glad you're feeling better and have a great partner. I hope you live a long and happy life
Rowan Thank you ❤
Where did you grow up?
@@emisillasilla1941 India
Same situation here. I am going to canada for my higher studies. I'm pretty sure i wont ever come back here. I actually had no one who understood me. The only thing keeping me from killing myself is i can leave this god damn place in a month
"I got hit as a kid and I turned out just fine, so clearly hitting your kids doesn't have any lasting negative effects". Except for the fact that you grew up believing it is ok to hit kids...
"I got hit as a kid and I turned out fine so I can't wait to hit my kids"
How do these people not realize that their perpetuating cycles of violence and the idea that you threaten and hit someone to get what you wanr
There's is a HUGE difference between punching your children and smacking their bum.
My mom would pinch me in the arm when I was insulting or hitting someone (I was a tiny monster) so I got hit once in a while when I wouldn't listen. Never with a fist, never with a belt. Always my mom, never my dad since he has always been pretty strong.
And out of three kids, only I needed it. My sister has always been a nice person, and my lil brother learnt from me.
The thing is not every child needs it, a lot of us can learn by just listening. But I couldn't, I didn't care or anything... She would always be like "you punch this kid and I smack you today, but if you keep doing this you'll kill someone and you'll get killed in prison".
Not every kid is born that way, with those mean/angry habits but I was. I never felt abused, or hated..
When i didn't listen she would hit me, I would cry, once I was tired of it and sat still she would explain things again. Then I would listen. Bad action has consequences, a smack when you're a kid, prison when you're an adult.
Nan Yikes
Well, I didn’t “Turn out fine”. I wouldn’t still be here if it weren’t for my religious beliefs, and a few strangers I met along the way, who showed me what families (and parental love) are supposed to look and feel like. If you want your kids to kill themselves, by all means, hit them, rage at them, laugh at their pain, and be sure and cut them off from normal people so you have complete control (and your kids are vulnerable enough to break completely)
Ok, see... that's not the argument that works. In order to effectively argue against perpetuating a mode of behavior, you first have to credibly establish that said behavior is bad. You could just as easily have said "'I grew up eating peanut butter sandwiches, I turned out fine!' Yeah, but you grew up into someone who believes that eating peanut butter sandwiches is okay." and it wouldn't have made any less sense because you've niether established your premise or backed it up effectively.
'i was beaten as a child... and it never did me any harm'. the motto of the society for internalized childhood abuse.
Capitalism is pedophilia - it needs to abuse youths to survive. We need to fight against this. Educate yr local youths - support yr local teachers.
You want to abuse your child but you also want to have a loving relationship where you can talk with them about their dreams and ambitions...? Right.... The person I want to open up the most to is the person who hurts me all the time. The writer is quite simply a psychopath.
Altarior too true my friend
If the parents do it right like in my case there will be no hitting all the time, because they will have established boundaries with the child. So that the child knows what is right, and wrong, therefore they know the consequences of doing wrong.
Altarior Yes! That's the word to describe them.
"Psychopath".
Brooklyn Hallett That you'll beat them? Cause that's the only consequence they'll know of. Sometimes you also need to let your child get himself into difficult situations, if you ask me. I'm no expert, but from my own experience, I learned way quicker through seeing it happen with my own eyes than through being told it will.
Brooklyn Hallett If the parents do it right they won't be in any way similar to this book at all *and if your parents were similar to this book and then they DID NOT do it right*
The thought of someone pulling the hair of an infant because they accidentally bit you during breast feeding upset me so deeply. I can’t imagine ever doing that to a baby. It hurts my heart
Don't most people stop nursing when the child begins cutting its first teeth? I would think that would be a better solution, or at the least have a chew biscuit handy to put in the infant's mouth if it was biting.
My mother hit her child (me) for it. How dare her sanctified most holy of titties be denied - unthinkable! and shoved it back in my mouth. Titty bitten again. Baby hit again. Baby refused to ever nurse again. As many times as she'd tell this story over the years, it never changed. Eventually she rationalised it was the natural weaning process and her child was biting because a 9 month old lacks the capacity to say "may I please be allowed to grow up have some real food now?"
Zachariah Archer, oh, snowflakes! It would be the most tiny hair pull..just enough to unclamp their teeth from your nipple. You would never know how this feels. Mothers do a number of things when this happens including yelling out, forcing a finger in the child's mouth to unlatch them, popping baby's mouth just enough, thumping their cheek. Ask a midwife! It's not uncommon. A little hair pull would at least get them to open their teeth and release the breast. You all are being ridiculous
WWZenaDo No, we do not stop. We cannot stop doing good things for our children when they decide to start misbehaving. We train. A 5 month old will bite with gums. They are not ready to stop nursing. You have to train them not to do it. It's not hard to do. Ask a midwife. Google it. You'll find a number of suggestions including thumping the cheek.
oceanmaiden45 Ok so I did google it because heck maybe you’re right, and literally NONE of the sources say to physically hurt the baby or anything like that. None of them. None say to lightly pull the hair or tap the cheek. None of that. I don’t know where you learned that that is ok, but you should probably check your sources
JESUS CHRIST. the last section is literally just ‘ADVICE ON HOW TO BEAT YOUR CHILD WITHOUT LEAVING ANY MARKS TO ALERT THE COPS’
Well that's not shady at all.... (sarcasm)
GabbityGabby what's SS?
Mayumi Maria Menezes Sugimoto hitler's bodyguard
Anna Bradis oh boi
Xiao Mei Jesus Christ indeed, holy shit
My parents never hit me, never screamed at me, and always made me feel heard. As a result, my parents would be the first I’d call if I made any mistake, or got into a fight, or got arrested, anything. I trust my parents fully. I’m not scared of my parents. And I think that’s what this book was trying to get to. But that’s the exact opposite child you’ll raise with that “parenting” method. Your kids are going to get as far away from you as soon as they can, and never speak to you gain.
My parents are very conservative Christians, and growing up with the insanely strict lifestyle was insane. I remember being too young to understand why my dad screamed at my brothers, burned their possessions, and eventually kicked them out of the house before they were even 17. I wasn't allowed to read most books, listen to pop music, watch TV, etc. My dad had trackers installed on our family computer, and I was never allowed to have any other electronics.
Now, I deal with chronic depression and anxiety. I have terrible trust issues. Every time someone glances over my shoulder while I'm on my phone, I get flashbacks to my dad stealing my phone and going through every conversation, picture, and app. I'm scared to get close to people because I'm scared that they will become controlling like my parents were.
Please do not treat your kids like this. If anyone in your life went through this kind of childhood, please try to be understanding. Give them no reason to distrust you. Understand that if they shy away when you move to hug them, it may be because they were physically abused. It takes time.
I'm so sorry to hear you went through this fundamentalist Christian abuse. You aren't alone. My mom was like your dad. Hang in there and keep moving forward with your life. It is your life and they can't take that away from you. Fight to survive, to manage your depression and the PTSD that is an inherent result of child abuse. You can still have a good life. Please don't let your parents inexcusable adorent behaviour towards you define your life. You're going to be okay. Just keep fighting.
Parents are not obligated to allow you to have electronics or privacy. Kicking kids out on the street is abuse but denying your kid having any electronics or privacy isn't. Parents have every right to go through your phone especially if it's in their name and they purchased it. They also have every right to deny you watching certain shows and listening to certain music. That is hardly abusive. Sounds to me like you just don't like rules so you made up a lie.
Shyan Marie The fact that you're saying that to someone makes me sick. When I was 15, my dad found out that I was cutting every. Day. And instead of getting me help, he looked me in the eyes, told me that I was a disappoinment and that I should never tell anyone about it, and grounded me. A week later, I attempted suicide. I wouldn't call that me "not liking the rules." I'd call that flat out bad parenting.
May I ask why your siblings got kicked out?
@@shyanmarie4405 you're disgusting
I trained up my niece. When she pulled up her first super combo in Street Fighter because of her training I was so proud I had tears in my eyes.
David Roberson Did you tell her "defeat him totally"? XD
WillowRustle64 That's what we call a fatality in the Mortal Kombat followers on training up
WillowRustle64 man you're really taking that thing home
I agree we shouldn't forget the horrible things people say
*cough cough* torture works *cough cough*
David Roberson YAAS HA HA HA!
WillowRustle64 I pulled a Karate Kid and told her Sweep the Leg. Because this book is fucking psychotic.
Fear is a horrible thing for a child to feel about their GUARDIAN. Discipline should be maintained with parenting that makes your children see you as a helpful, caring friend.
You have a way different viewpoint than these people and you're not even trying to understand how they view childrearing.
What they are doing became very clear with the passage about submitting. They are teaching their children to submit to God. This is the best way they know how.
You say should and ought and you have your rules. You spit on their methods like they spit on yours. This isn't a debate, this is a shitfest. Learn to listen or learn to stop hearing.
@Leonardo da Vinci You’re a moron
@@SporkyMcFly This only fuels the fear towards their parents, NOT GOD. This is non-debatable child abuse and it's a shame you don't see that. I pray for whoever you're raising or plan to raise.
@@ark2074 We can agree on that.
It’s like nobody can understand that the Bible just might have a few metaphors that are not supposed to be taken completely literally...
And the bible is just no practical life advice besides morals maybe
@@lochiness. and not even that
See also the debate on Ruth being a Moabite or not
Also “the child deep down know they deserve to be punished” is the exact same thing Dolores Umbridge says. Really the entire books makes too much sense if you read it in her voice
Id be terrified if I was trying to write for punishment for my mom and then what im writing gets etched into my hand
Honestly, it sounds like some Puritan crap
She also said, "A theoretical knowledge will be sufficient," which ironically makes these people worse than her
I sense a Harry Potter fan
ugh you're right.........
As someone who was spanked as a kid, this book makes me absolutely sick. Children are like adults with less experience; they should be raised with compassion and wisdom.
So defeat them totality
It inflicts emotional and physical pain, it should be. Kids who get legit abused think in many cases"this happens to everyone, it's not abuse"
A little bit of spanking will not inflict emotional pain. It's a few slaps on the butt, nothing that hurtful. If it's used sparingly, it can be a form of punishment like any other. I used to be spanked from time to time, but still grew up to be emotionally stable.
Just because it can be a form of abuse, it doesn't mean it is. That basically applies to any form of punishment eg. grounding a child, which despite being a widely-used discipline method, can be used to socially and emotionally isolate and torment a child if used excessively.
Nah. Think about it rationally, not just as a reactionary approach to the morality of it. Morals of striking a living person a third of your size aside, think of it this way. A child makes a mistake, so you punish the child. Usually, you'll be angry at the time. Mostly, spanking is taking it out on the kid, it's about the adult, not the kid. But even if we say the adult is striking the child with NO anger solely for discipline, it simply teaches that certain actions will be punished. Not why. It also teaches that the appropriate response to misbehaviour is violence. Such children will thus view disputes as a matter of aggressor and victim, instead of learning how to approach others with compassion and engage a discussion, to better avoid arguments.
So like, hitting an infant is... whatever, I can't tell you to see that as maybe something that's ugly and we should stop doing it instead of simply saying 'oh, everyone does it'. You'll have your opinions on that. But rationally speaking, discipline through physical pain doesn't actually teach a child jack shit about accountability, it just teaches them not to get caught.
Schemilix Yeah, no. That's not what happens. A child usually becomes a spoiled brat when they're just grounded. It's not beating a child a bunch of times. 1-2 spanks, and only sometimes.
"defeat him totally" Okay so raising a child is a gladiator fight now?
Ikr? Even Spartans are not this cruel
Worse than gladiators. The Editor or your opponent could raise a finger to end the fight in gladiatorial combat, but this book teaches not to accept any surrender
Adriano Arne-Ritz Actually no, Spartans were worse, they beat children each year before either they passed out or died
Jesus: above all, my greatest commandment is to love everyone
The Pearls: he said BEAT THEM ALL WITH LOVE
"train up a child". Translation: How to alienate a child and wonder why they have nothing to do with you.
House2017 How to abuse a child and then proceed to deny the child proper help and teaching later in life, overall resulting in the creation of a domestic abuser
Travian Roberson ...or a criminal, such as a serial killer.
Taylor Davison or an individual so emotionally damaged they fear all of their actions and are nearly incapable of functioning as a person entirely
House2017 shit that was the most accurate statement ever. My dad raised my sister and myself according to this way and she hasn't spoken to him in six or seven years and he asked me if I think it's right that she does that.
its ok to teach your children manners and that does take training but training a child like a dog......that analogy seems pretty strange to me since you want a pet to do what you say but you want a child to think before they act so they eventually learn to act responsibly on their own. Obviously, without saying, it goes naturally that hitting a child won't accomplish getting them to think before they act. They will act out of fear, rather than out of reason to resolve problems.
The best way to raise a child is to be friendly with them and teach them right from wrong, not beating the crap out of them and treating them like a prisoner.
WeegeeSlayer agreed and it's the same with pets because so many people say that about pets
WeegeeSlayer you think?!
*things that should be obvious to anyone but aren't*
There is no such thing as the best way. There are too many variables to make the general claim.
You know that most prisoners aren't beaten... Meaning that, based on this book, prisoners should be treated better than Babies...
This breeds antisocial tendencies. This book should be titled "How To Make A Criminal". Anyone who follows this book is sure to create another Ted Bundy or Richard Ramirez.
Great blog spot Rachel. Discussion of the topics you choose engenders the healing process entirely.
You want to raise a depressive or sociopath? Here's the book!
My baby sister is 1, and the idea of hitting her makes me feel physically sick. These people are monsters.
This is negative reinforcement. It's an old animal training technique that breeds fear until the animal shuts down and has no choice but to submit. It is now considered abusive and frowned upon by most trainers. All it does is create fearful, anxious, distrusting children. Children are not made to be controlled, but guided. As a psychology student who just finished a unit on aggression I can state that children learn by modelling. If you act agressively towards them they learn this is an acceptable thing to do if someone does something you don't like. It stops the behaviour, but only in the short term and when the authority figure is present. Look up the bobo doll experiment if this interest you. Also time outs in no way amplify aggression or other negative emotions. This is known as Catharsis theory and is comepletely disproven. The best way to dicipline is to have clear and consistent consequences like time outs. Teach calming strategies and empathy. These methods show your child to react calmly when upset and to internalise calmer more respectful beleifs. This is the difference between acceptance and compliance. Children are not slaves to do your bidding. Sorry for the long post. This book just really struck a nerve because you know there'll be more gullible parents that will permanently scar their kids with these practices. While the effects later in life may be subtle they are still there. One example whould be attachment theory.
Lena Goodwin This is not negative reinforcement at all. Negative reinforcement is removing a stimulus to increase a desired behavior. This is positive punishment, adding a punishment to decrease a behavior. It's a common mistake, but in terms of operant conditioning, negative simply means to take away, and positive means to add, those terms don't describe the stimulus in a qualitative manner, but rather a quantitative.
There's a line between beating and disciplining. My parents always told me they loved me and I didn't necessarily submit them like an animal would, but I learned what was wrong in the world, and that there are consequences for such things. I would consider myself a very joyful person with no painful or negative feelings towards my parents... Much like many many other people who have been raised with disciplinary methods. Now I don't advocate beating at all, because it goes beyond the point of teaching your kid a lesson, it's like overshooting.
Yeah this is positive punishment.
My parents hurt me like that how can I cope today?
@@f.u.c8308 I'm sorry, that's awful. I hope you don't think all discipline is like this.
I have dealt with abuse from my parents most of my life and I ensure you beating ur kids only pushes them farther away. In my case I would have to say “do not lie” over and over again while getting beat to the floor knowing I didn’t lie. I couldn’t deal with it anymore and seeked help but that only hurt my situation more. The physical abuse stopped but the emotional abuse got worse. To a point where I would have panic attacks and cry myself to sleep. Feeling like I’m worthless and there’s no point in living, why me? My parents complaining about literally anything, about how I blink too much etc etc. It is hell. I was kicked out of the house and a friend took me in, and her family told me I always have a place to stay there. When I was forced to return to my house I was emotionally tortured more, I was checked into a mental hospital. When I came out I was told it was my fault my my parents and that I should stop being problematic and having behaviour issues. Luckily I turn 16 in a few months. The system failed me, the hospital failed me (by believing my parents and basically treating me like I was a juvenile). I only have myself and my friends school and youtube. And honestly that’s all I need. I will not let my parents brainwash me into thinking giving a 9 year old kid a black eye is a good punishment for not washing the dishes.
Edit: I don’t live with them anymore! My friend took me in, and I am thriving :) thank y’all so so much for ur support and well wishes❤️
HeyItsSoré Wow that sounds horrible. I too have seen how the system fails. Nobody ever wants to shine light on it though. I wish you the best and hope you get out of there soon. Good luck and stay strong.
Most importantly Stay safe
HeyItsSoré so much love for u sweetheart. Get out of there as soon as u can. This world is run by insecure adults that take out their frustrations on people lower and weaker than them. The system will never have our backs, we have to watch out for each other ❤️❤️i hope u find a new home soon
My father was also insanely strict on lying. All it did was make me a damn good liar. I have to wear a hair band on my wrist, so that I can break the habit of pathological lying to make people happy, because I have a deep seeded fear that if they're upset they'll hit me, even my best friend. Just know that you have the right to refuse, the right to say no. The reason they hit you is that they can't actually make you do it. No one can make you do anything without you giving in first. You have to choose to give in. You have the power of NO. The power to stand and fight till the bitter end. The power to choose. You only do what they say so they don't hit you. You can always rebel and they can never take that away. With love and righteous anger Mia.
HeyItsSoré I am so sorry that you've had to endure such treatment from your parents - the people who are supposed to protect and love and teach you.
You seem wise beyond your years, so you must be a very strong person. I'm sure you have lasting scars, physical and emotional, but you haven't let it destroy you. I hope you get out of there as soon as you can. Try to remember all that you have already overcome if times get tough and tap into that strength. Wishing you the best.
There is NO reason to hit a baby. Ever. Maybe punishment by taking a problematic object away, like crayons after "decorating" the walls, or a toy after breaking something with it. Toddlers can be reasoned with on a very basic level. If the child can talk, they can reason. No hitting is ever necessary.
tyrell st. hilaire Hitting a child with a object isn't abuse. It's discipline for the child.
ZARTA LAPOIS Did you not watch the video? Or read the comments of the people who have been abused and hate their parents for it? I can't imagine you finding this okay under any circumstances. This book isn't just about giving your child a little spanking, what it describes is known as abuse.
Dani Rust Dude I was trollingm
Gosh, I wish my mother had been as reasonable as you. Ha! Ha! Ha!
ZARTA LAPOIS Oops sorry
Newborn: Oh! My mom is calling me to this thing I like-
Mom: *no.* **proceeds to slap child on bare skin with a stick larger than the child**
How to train your child properly: treat them like humans and make sure they are respectful and you best be respecting your child
I’m laughing at how ironic this is considering your pfp and username-
the fact this came from the queen of despair says a lot abt this book
Big sis junko knows best
The user icon tho
You know you're fucked when the queen of despair is disgusted at your behavior.
I trained my little cousin.
By the end of the month she knew all the best Pokemon and strategies to beat other trainers. 👍🏼 She loves eevees!
She beat her first gym trainer with ineffective moves and i teared up a little. She's ready for the elite four.
That_Fox_Voltage my heart! This is so cute ❤️😭
Lol Im glad you thought this was cute!!
That_Fox_Voltage me when I grow up and have kids omg
I got lil cousins and I’m gonna do the same! That was just too pure
Best comment on this video!
This book should be banned everywhere with all the copies burned and the people who wrote it, arrested. As a child abuse survivor this honestly makes me sick.
Quick logistical question: does this book directly incite violence? Because if so, we can actually use the government to do this
Mandy Anderson I cannot even begin to understand how it was allowed to be printed and distributed...
The tactics of the Third Reich! Classy!
This book is fucking terrible dogshit, but burning a book is never ever an answer, and this person begrudgingly has the write to have this printed and distributed. Protest, but don't answer their violence with violence itself.
@@drbeeant inciting violence is not protected by the freedom of speech. Actually it's a crime on the same level as inciting suicide or crimes.
@Soviet who Cuts Yes, absolutely.
i was raised like this. i spent most of my childhood being absolutely terrified of being hit and constantly obsessed with trying not to do anything to warrant it. thing is through all experiences, i never knew what exactly was going to be a new reason to be hit.
You are not alone.
I hope you never visit your parents or send them to a bad nursing home