4 UPDATES: Parents Reconnect With Me After Almost Six Years And Ask Me About A Message That I...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ย. 2024
- 4 UPDATES: Parents Reconnect With Me After Almost Six Years And Ask Me About A Message That I Never Received… I Confront My Wife About It And She Finally Confesses The Secret She'd Been Keeping From Me For Years
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I (35M) have been married to my wife Rebecca (32F) for almost six years now. We'd been together for almost four years before we got married. And now, we even have two beautiful daughters together. Both of us have lived in Oregon all our lives and since we live in a relatively small town, everybody knows everybody. And we'd been friends since we were kids. We didn't even go to college out of state and opted for the nearest one and that's how we became friends and eventually got into a relationship. Our families also got along pretty well together, until they suddenly didn't because of my parents. For context, my parents stopped talking to me out of the blue just a month before my wedding. And even at the wedding, they were a no show which was really shocking. As far as I was concerned, we didn't have any fights or any incidents that could have possibly led to my parents giving me the cold shoulder like that for no reason. It's like one day, they were just gone from my life and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get them back anymore. They blocked me and just disappeared from my life without any explanation.
I tried several times to contact them but I was blocked online, so I even visited them at their house but their neighbors told me that they'd moved out and didn't think that they were going to be back anytime soon. This happened exactly one month before our wedding and I was pretty stressed out because I had no idea where they were.
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His wife really said that she couldn’t give up her family and friends if they moved to Seattle so she decided to destroy OP’s relationship with his family? It’s sounds like she wanted to isolate him.
FACTS!!
Because she did FOR 6 YEARS
Divorcing such a wife was fine and all but I find it weird that the son didn't try to contact the parents for 6 years. Parents and son - one sends an out character stupid abusive message and parent block him everywhere and just leave an email? Didn't parent find anything odd about the situation? Son didn't try to ask parents exactly why they were acting like the way he thought they did? Weird family.
Yeah Seattle and Oregon... basically flying across the Atlantic that is.
@@georgeprchal3924I’m from Oregon and it’s not that far away and the wife was being selfish
His wife didn’t lie once, she lied every day for 11 years. She took away the option for an informed decision for 11 years, damaged a family relationship for 11 years. Unforgivable.
Six years they have been married. Although six minutes would have been too long.
His wife is a complete narcissist. I would keep a close eye on my kids behavior because I wouldn't put it past her to manipulate them by filling their heads with things that are not true about their dad and his family maybe get some counseling divorce is hard on kids.
A total selfish C-U-Next-Teusday!
Definitely, my mom was narcissistic and she used to always tell me lies about my dad and always spun everything to make him look like the bad guy to get me to dislike him. It started when I was about 6 or 7 years old and it went on everyday.
I'm listening to this and wondering if she's still gaslighting him about why she did it, and thinking he should take the kids in for DNA testing. Might be another reason why she didn't want to move away.
Too many of them out there. All too common really. Isolation their major weapon. It can be done with men and women alike. ;-(
She didn't want to move and leave her family, friends, and more than likely, her side piece. I mean, she's not broken up about the divorce, she gets more alimony than she deserves, and can now openly hook up with whomever. A girl this manipulative and unapologetic can not be faithful.
They were married for 8 years, and she has a degree so she has career potential.
She will only get alimony for about 2 years.
The parents aren't off the hook. They blocked OP on everything over one out-of-character text, without bothering to find out if it was really OP or if OP was in his right mind. They didn't care enough about OP to actually dig deeper. They don't even seem understanding when they realize OP was also lied to.
The one doubt I have regarding the truthfulness of the story. Just too unlikely.
I am glad OP now has a happier life.
I just hope that the ex wife wouldn't do the parent alternation part if OP is doing a lot better in the long run. It can happen. 😶
But I'm glad that OP is able to do what he truly wants
You could never trust her ever again! Fight for 50-50;custody and divorce
Sadly she will manipulate the kids and use them as poison for every new gf he might get....
I'm imagining how the OP will feel when his children become adults and discover the twisted crap their Mother did which led to the destruction of their parents relationship. What an awful person who has no empathy or worth as a Human being; stealing the better part of a decade from OP and her own children.
I kept all my paperwork for the 7 years my EX took me through divorce court in the UK, if he ever doubted my word and version of events. I still have it. He doesn't need to as he says he knows, but always keep your divorce paparework for your kids future, to read for themselves, so they know you are NOT a liar.
Hopefully the kids are really his and he hasn't been raising another man's family, cause with a woman like that you never know.
Wow! Just...WOW!! OP's wife is a real piece of work!! What she did was TOTALLY self-serving! I don't think she ever really cared about OP.
Rebecca is horrible. She must’ve felt that OP would never find out that she had deliberately destroyed OP’s relationship with his family. She wasn’t even sorry. What else has she done to manipulate OP. I can’t see how he can even look at Rebecca. Rebecca definitely destroyed OP’s life to get the life she wanted not doing the best for OP. Make the right call and separate and insist on counseling or there’s no hope for this relationship
Never allow yourself to be held hostage by "what if...".
"What if" doesn't exist.
Deal with What Is.
What is is a liar, manipulative and controlling spouse that cares for nothing but herself. Another blow is how coolly she took his leaving her. No real love there. OP was just a meal ticket for her.
That's not a huge miscommunication... That's an on purpose. Looking forward to hearing the rest of us to see what pans out with that marriage.
They divorced. Did you not listen to the end?
If I was the op I would be getting DNA test for the kids and divorce.
Good on op for divorcing rebecca she's too damn vile and toxic as hell, she literally destroyed op's relationship with his parents for her own selfish needs and greed. On another note I gotta thank you op stories like this makes the single life look better and better every day.
S#1 Do these people know what a phone is? Meeting in person? This is how you handle this not by text!
I'm reminded of the song from "Man of La Mancha", "I'm Only Thinking of Him".
Wat a psychotic selfish home wrecker. She played them all and separated op from his parents. Such an AH.
1. Op found out the wife was an evil, manipulative narcissist. Divorce was the only option.
To answer Rebecca's question, yes, OP would have been happy to move to Seattle. He'd have found a wife who was a partner with him, unlike Rebecca, who was only in it for herself. Op would have had children and have been happy. Instead, he was trapped by that witch he married into an unhappy life at work, where only his children were the bright spot in his life. He needs to divorce Rebecca over this because she betrayed him, destroyed his relationship with his parents, and trapped him in a dead-end job. After the updates, I'm glad he divorced her. She shouldn't get so much alimony that she can continue to be a sahm. She should be forced to work on the days she doesn't have custody. Screw her and what SHE wants. She's gotten what she wanted all throughout their marriage. Good on OP for finally getting what HE wants. It's long overdue.
I had a friend that was asked that same question about regret if he wouldn’t have his daughter if he had not married his ex-wife. His response he would still have his daughter with a different wife and she would just look a little different. So yes, he did regret his marriage.
Rebecca just keeps getting her way. She didnt want to move and feared losing op because he is her meal ticket. I question how she was able to get so much money. I bet Rebecca was also having an affair. I wonder if the kids are his. Its funny how the parents open a brand new branch in ops aera and put him in charge. Making Rebecca jealous and demanding more money.
She never loved op. She loved the money he could make for her. She didnt care he was miserable. Its going to be funny when the dughters grow up and learn the truth. I can bet she tells everyone a different reason for their divorce.
And most businesses wouldn't be opening a new branch in a small town unless it were a manufacturing business, which is not what is implied in the story. Sounds like the teenage writer of the story doesn't know much about how the real world runs.
@shells500tutubo sounds more like they wanted to keep it vague incase it ever gets back to them. Being Seattle could be a hint like a coffee company or something else. Then again it sounds like op isn't mature at all. After all they left their family to chase some dream job. Or op wanted to only show the fault of their wife and not their own.
So addressing the elephant in the room: who is Rebecca's side piece and the actual father of the daughters?
That is male thinking. I really doubt that this is about cheating. She is a small town woman with small town thinking and didn't want to ever leave the tight circle of friends and family she grew up with. Not exactly the adventurous type.
@@shells500tutubo It makes sense. The kids came along later. She'd already subjugated her husband and clearly had no respect for him.
@@shells500tutubo Only maybe. I don't feel any love from her. She gave up on him too easily. As if she coldly decided that she won more by doing things friendly like than by fighting. OP was a meal ticket she controlled. The kids were another link on the chain holding OP. But they may also be from an AP she took just out of contempt for OP.
At least this story happened in the Pacific Northwest, the most beautiful place on earth. I was born, raised, and still live in Washington State.
You were man & wife, but it sure wasn't a love match from the viewpoint of the wife, from the start. You were her prey.
Marriage is about working together. She had no intention of it. She wanted all the control in the relationship
This is so straight out of a harlequin romance story line.😅
So… she insisted that she was not wrong in any way, yet still knew the divorce was coming. I see.
So op supposedly said all of this to his parents but family members still went to the wedding and were ok with it?Then after telling his fiancee he mysteriously sends a text that's completely out of character for him and they didn't attend their only sons marriage all over a text message that was completely out of character for him?Then they were quick to block him and didn't even to try to talk to him ?Sounds more like its another creative writing project.
Yeah, the parent side of things don't add up. If I had a kid and had a good relationship with them, then they suddenly messaged me a bunch of vile things, I'd assume that someone else had gotten a hold of their phone or that a miscommunication had happened and try to speak to them in person, instead the parents immediately cut contact. And did the parents just never mention what happened to their relatives, which they would be asked about given they missed the wedding, or did they explain the situation and all of the relatives agree to keep silent and still go to the wedding?
Yeah these miscommunication stories are a plot device, not a real world scenerio
@@daisyfaye3630There ARE real world instances of things like this though. This one has too many ridiculous behaviors.
This would be divorce for the lies and betrayal and I agree this is on the parents too
OP go to your parent's job in Seattle, pretend you earn way less than you actually do (they can pay themselves more and give you cash under the table) then file again in court for way less alimony, as your earnings are way lower. Explain to child supportm court that she id and stopped you from joining your parent's successful business, and now your parents don't trust you, so have pout you on a probationary wage for 12 months, as they are worried you will run back to her & the kids. Run OP. Leave her as a single parent.
The only thing I would say to this is to not take cash under the table. His parents can support him non-monetarily by him living with them or in a property they may own. If you always tell the truth then you can't be tripped up trying to remember your lies.
parents are still at fault for blocking him.
I bet that had she told him before the wedding, and then said that she didn't want to go to Seattle, he would have married her, stayed put, but still have been on reasonable terms with his parents.
I think I call BS on this one. No way his parents would just be offended and send an email and leave. First, they would confront face to face. Second the wedding. They would have for sure Saif something to someone about missing the wedding. Not just oh we are moving
I really don't like Rebecca. She deserves nothing.
OP should tell Rebecca's family and friends the reason for the divorce. The real one of how she destroyed your relationship with your parents. Tell your daughters too
He definitely should. She's already proven she's a snake who can't be trusted as a partner. Who's to say she won't become the same way as a mother and turn his own kids against him the same way she did his parents?
@@whitneybennett4857This is what op needs to watch out for! If it happens he needs to document it and consult lawyer, not approach her about it AT ALL!
Never make a life changing decision while relying on technology alone. OPs parents should have made the effort to speak with them directly.
IKR? I was thinking that throughout this story. No way would my kid be allowed to disrespect and then ghost me without a face to face meeting.
PS OP, you can apply to the court to have the alimony down rated if circumstances change, e.g., if your ex moves another man into the house who can reasonably be expected to contribute or she gets paid work.
Op in story 1 better be getting a dna test.
S1 = I have a DIL exactly like this woman was. The only part I have in believing this story is the parents taking SIX years to reach out despite of the "nasty" attitude OP sent them regarding the new job opportunity. Loving parents just don't do that and missing the planned wedding? Who does that?. They would put in more effort to connect.
The parents never spoke in person with their son? The vile lying wife would have been exposed right off the bat.
Thank you a great story
Thanks for listening!
Story 3: This man should go for full custody she a bad mother she stole loving grand parents from their lives
He'd never win, she is the primary care giver and her actions didn't pose a physical threat to the children.
I get what Rebecca did, but these parents disappeared for 6 years without one in person talk with their son?
Not one?
OP's whive had no problem with the divorce for sure she be cheating
You're fooled if you don't think she will mess up the kids.
Is speaking to people on the phone not a thing any more - everything by texting or, occassionally, by email. No wonder stuff like this happens.
I would get dna tests on the girls.
Wow the ex is something that youtube well not allowed me to say in things comment section
So OP and his parents just never spoke to each other directly? And I don't mean by text
Yeah, the writer of this story didn't think things through.
You would be living in Seattle as a business owner, not wherever y'all are as a wage slave. Worry less because she thought mil would keep encouraging her career, and she didn't want a life of labor for herself, only for you.
Didn't try that hard to contact his parents. He says he knew they were seeing his pics through family members social media...
I WOULD GET A DIVORCE.
I hope he divorced her for alienation of affection for losing his parents because of her selfishness
Absolutely NTA OP. Informed consent is a major principle in respect for your autonomy and, in fact, you married your wife without the knowledge of her true character, revealed in what she had chosen to do without telling you. This could even be argued to negate the marriage contract, as uninformed consent is no consent at all. Rebecca does not sound very bright as well as highly manipulative . She had not thought this through. Did she really think that you would not find out the truth? If she had loved you instead of the lifestyle she wanted you to provide for her, she would have told you what your parents said and asked you what you wanted to do, trusting that you loved her enough to make a compromise. You could still have had your beautiful daughters of you had gone to Seattle and she had made new friends, and you would have had a job that you liked and where there was a real future for you both. If you had decided to go without her and cancelled the wedding, at least she would have known that you did not love her and that the wedding would have been a mistake anyway. Your girls were not conceived at the time so using them to manipulate you was not relevant to what may or may not have happened six years previously. If your relationship had broken down, you could have had a relationship with someone else and children with them. The main issues here are that Rebecca did not trust you, she lied to you and your parents and robbed you of a lot that was important to you, including respect for your autonomy and choices that were yours to make as well as relationships which were yours to enjoy. What she did was not an act of love for you but of self love for herself, using you as a means to an end, i.e., to facilitate her chosen lifestyle. These facts would seem to point to the situation that your wife neither loves nor respects you. What you now choose to do with that situation, in the light of your position which now exists, is up to you.
To me it sounded like she was only using him so she could have her dream of the “perfect family” and be a stay at home wife. She’s already gotten what she wanted and that’s why she’s not gonna fight him now on the divorce.
Ofcourse she does not want you to take full costody ... that way she still gets free money without working for it. Plus spousal support
It is all a question of 'trust' in a relationship! Op's wife betrayed that trust by not passing on that message. What other 'trust' has she betrayed that op doesn't know about, or betray if op stayed? Once trust is broken it is VERY HARD to forgive and you always wonder if it will happen again!
The wife needed to have a talk with op before the marraige stating what she wanted out of it, likewise op needed to put his expectations forward. If they couldn't find a common ground, then they should have called the wedding off.
Op should not 'suger coat' what happened to ANYBODY!, if asked why they divorced.
Wife us a sociopath
What a horrible person. But also … everyone is at fault here. This lack of communication is a folly for storylines to draw out the plot.
In the real world you don’t have those type of real important conversations over the telephone with somebody else and then over text message instead of face-to-face .
This is family and all of them were willing far too easily to just cut each other out without clarification.
Why would you leave your phone at home if you were going out bar hopping after work? Why does the USPS not work in Seattle?
Because this is fiction. The basics may be true, as I have seen similar situations happen where one partner deceives another, but the author made the mistake of putting in too many details, which makes the inconsistencies too easy to suss out.
Its always a rebecca.
are your kids yours. i would want a dna test regardless of their age.
Its a 3 hour drive.
Story one
Well you know who to blame is your wife Rebecca she destroyed your reputation because of her own personal reasons she aloud you to believe that your parents abandoned you and she robbed you of the option she is extremely spiteful and selfish she robbed you of your family
I don't think you should ever forgive her she appears jealous and she robbed you of a great opportunity robbed you of having your parents at your wedding and in your life being grandparent s to your daughter s but the abuse she sent to your parents using you is unforgivable she a extremely selfish individual
He needs a dna test because she was probably cheating as she clearly has zero respect for him.
People like the wife, more often than not, are nothing but extremely selfish and delusional to the point of blowing up their own life and marriage. It's no surprise that she's not sorry at all and is showing how delusional and selfish she really is. I'm betting she thought she would get away with having her way tol op's parents came to see him. Then it was her stupidity to rant about op's parents like their the villains in her delusional world out to destroy what she wants. Of course she didn't like op's puppet remark because it's the truth. She tried to isolate him to get her way and is now furious that she's loosing everything she worked hard to keep her control on. Bro, in that question she just admitted that she would gave up a relationship just to not move so she could avoid leaving her friends and family. So in turn she did what she could to ruin op's relationships just to prevent that, that's vile and beyond selfish.
Update, she was NEVER going to be honest as in her delusional selfish entitled world, your parents are the villains trying to take everything from her and she was trying to prevent that. She didn't come clean til she was pressured and it's a massive red flag that's she's not even apologetic for what she's done in ruining your relationship with your parents for her gain. Glad op realized that she was only trying to use the kids to manipulate him and that she's nothing but selfish and delusional.
Update 2, glad op filed for divorce and didn't fall for her manipulation tactics that were in effort to get op back in "her control" .
Update 3, given she knew the divorce was coming because op wasn't coming back under her control says it all. I'm not surprised that she asked op to not demand full custody of the kids.
Update 4, glad op is officially divorced from her and gets to be part of his family's company. I wouldn't be surprised if she still thinks op's parents are the villains in all this or hopefully she realizes that she really done did it in blowing up her marriage.
Hope the ex’s life falls apart but she’ll bag a new dude real fast.🤦♂️
They wanted to add family and friends alienation to Domestic Violence. Too many men came out that women are doing this to them. So they dropped the subject. It doesn't fit narration of women being so saint
First of al this story is fiction based on a factual story, so there's that.
Two things- Op says Rebecca is a great mom. No, no she isn't. she is a manipulative liar, and who knows how much she may try to ruin for her children when they want to go down a path that is different from what she wants. Tricking them out of a semester abroad by lying and saying they were rejected, convincing them that they aren't good enough to apply for that music scholarship at Juilliard because it means they will leave her, saying she was rejected for Space Camp run by NASA in Alabama because she doesn't want to leave Oregon to take her child there. She is a shit mother.
And two, he says he still loves her. He SERIOUSLY needs to rethink that statement, because he is saying he loves a lying, manipulating, selfish woman who cares NOTHING for anyone but herself and her feelings. She didn't give a second's thought to cutting him off from his -PARENTS-, ffs!
And my god, there is no place in Oregon that is more than an hour's plane ride at most from Seattle. The parents weren't moving to Miami or New York. SMDH.
It's a cute story but not really possible in Oregon. People snoop every one would have known about the move. No one keeps their mouths shut. If OP didn't know that something weird was going on it was because the son wasn't paying attention
I wish the people who write these things would look up what the word 'unforgivable' means. Unforgivable is exactly that, unforgivable. Meaning you did something so egregious that you can't be forgiven. What op means to say is what was in the text was inexcusable.
The wife still won for one. She’s still a stay at home mom she gets alimony probably child support she won’t have to work. He’s tied to her for till the kids graduate. He can’t take over the business complete if the headquarters are in Seattle because he’ll never get to have the custody he wants so his only consolation prize is to manage a branch And pay for the privilege of his wife lying to him for six years wrecking his relationship for those years with his parents his parents missing the wedding his parents missing the birth of their grandchildren. His parents missing all those years to be with their grandchildren.
Stay single, gentlemen.
Oh please. I was wondering how long it would take some lazy thinker to come on here with this seist bs .Plenty of men isolate and control their female partners, bullying them into not working or quitting jobs because the man is jealous, baby trapping them. Everything is not gender related.
@@shells500tutubo Spoken like part of the problem.
When she said to you oh we would have had to cancel our wedding and all this stuff. And all that she said I was said you know what you may be right, we may not have ended up together. But that doesn't mean I would be alone. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have kids. Just not these kids. But at least I wouldn't be with a lying manipulative woman. You lied and manipulated my life without giving me a choice. You're over here going well I wouldn't do this I wouldn't do that that shows me that you are very selfish self-centered person. So maybe I wouldn't be with you but maybe I would be a woman who respect my worth and truly loved me. And I don't think that's so bad. And I would have left.
And I don't get why they would have had to cancel their wedding. That makes absolutely no sense. I guess she means there was no way in hell she was going to move from their tiny town for one second to further Op's career.
The wife is selfish and manipulative. She’s only cared what she wanted not op. The ex wife will never change and will continued to her next victim. Kids are so innocent. One day they figured out how devious and manipulative mom they have, not showing any kind of remorse at all. The ex wife screwed herself to her own grave.
Why do you keep putting ads up over the last few screens, making it impossible to finish the story???
What OPs wife did was selfish, but OP is as much to blame instead of acting like a hurt child and throwing a tantrum never helps. If you are a adult act like one and he should of tried harder to find answers. Prime example of people these days behaving like victims.
Viiiiiiicttiiiiimm.. blaaaaaaming. News flash, nodknick. Op IS a victim.
Wonder what else she did
your wife is crazy and selfish. leave her
This story is obvious BS! They lived in and grew up in a small town in Oregon all of their lives. However, one small series of or one text conversation, and his parents blocked him on everything and just left without coming to see him and try to talk it out with no history of any problems before. Also, none of the people that they grew up and who obviously knew his parents(small town)said anything to him about it, for several years?
His parents went through a woman they hates? This is a stupid story
Do ANY of These stories involve men on the receiving end, because I’m really about to unsubscribe