When The Narcissist Stops Having S£X With You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 พ.ย. 2024
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🔎 Related Keywords:
Toxic Relationships:
1. Emotional Abuse
2. Manipulation
3. Gaslighting
4. Control
5. Codependency
6. Boundaries
7. Narcissism
8. Verbal Abuse
9. Isolation
10. Power Dynamics
Trauma:
1. PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
2. Emotional Wounds
3. Healing Journey
4. Triggers
5. Coping Mechanisms
6. Flashbacks
7. Trauma Response
8. Resilience
9. Therapeutic Interventions
10. Trauma Recovery
Wellbeing:
1. Self-Care
2. Mental Health
3. Mindfulness
4. Positive Psychology
5. Holistic Wellness
6. Stress Management
7. Emotional Regulation
8. Self-Compassion
9. Growth Mindset
10. Support Networks
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She withheld sex from me and used it as a weapon, a punishment and as a reward. Physical touch is my love language and she stripped it away from me. I found myself at night wondering why? Was I good enough? Was she attracted to me?
After I started to open my eyes behind the scenes, then I learned that it was devaluation and a tool to control. After 5 years, I ended it all, told her to get out.
Unfortunately, the abuse takes awhile to “reset” and it’s important not to jump into a relationship immediately after. We must find ourselves. Keep pushing forward folks!
It's not just the sex, plays an important part, but also the emotional connection. You can literally crave it at times, and they know it, that bond you want to make, pyschically and mentally, but it's just a feeling they can't realy give back, they just use it against you instead. Something wrong with these people, well that's obvious, but your really just clutching onto a something that isn't there, just took you some time to realize it, while they were sucking away at you like a leech.
@@dcikaruga yes absolutely. The lack of sex resulted in the lack of connection between 2 people. It damaged the entire relationship
@@zappamann I gotta say though, when you go past how they make you feel, thinking about it clearly, they're incredibly dull and shallow people. Once I realized what she was up to, trying to hurt me, and all those lies, I realized I had nothing in common with her, she's literally a vacuous moron - they all are, empty, dull people, just angry and messed up inside.
💯 % it is as you say
They are cruel and soulless people. I'm still recovering years later. It's hard to get my equilibrium back. 😢
I was pregnant for 9 months, and only once where we intimate. I felt so unloved. Yet I found the courage to set aside all of that. And find ways to be happy with my 1st son in my belly. It was the most beautiful and wonderful moment of my life. And also bitter to be with someone like him by my side, which now he is my ex-husband.
Omg it was the same for me!! It was like he was relieved when I got pregnant
It was like that for me, too.
Same here 😢
Add, has anybody else noticed that after hooking up with these narcissist, that all of a sudden you get all these illnesses and auto immune issues? Ever since I left it all went away..
There's a book about this called When The Body Says No.
Yeap I got skin issues I never had since the day I was born until I got with the narcissist. My skin till this day has trouble retaining moisture and it’s been a year now.
Exactly Anoushka. They want you to beg for it. So sad. Nothing is ever enough with narcissists. Great video Anoushka!
They want you to beg so they can laugh behind your back as they are getting s*x elsewhere!
It also makes it easier to manipulate n control you!
@labazoops I don't think they laugh behind your back nor get it elsewhere. It is .power and control which make their night/day..that gives them validation and fills their void.
This is so spot on. My ex-wife was this to the T. Im still recovering from the pain and suffering she caused, but I see the path forward now.
It's intended to make you feel insecure.😢💔 Eighteen years and two alienated adult children later...
It's awful waiting for crumbs of affection. It's had a really negative effect when considering relationships again. Suppose it causes insecure avoidant attachment styles. It's enough to feel like part of you has been deleted.
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I've suffered the same.. crumbs
I've haven't had sex for 17 years
We are separated and I'm trying to go no contact
She knows that I love her so she's doing no contact too
Yep. Almost 12 months to the day from when I met him everything changed. We went from a very passionate loving relationship to nothing at all over the space of a weekend 😮 he told me there was no problem or reason and wouldn’t talk about it.
Me too 😢
They’re cheating
@@SquishyGrayMatterI don't think it's about cheating g ..it is to devalue you and jeep control over your feelings, witholding makes them feel special and powerful
@@ritapeters1330most times they are, they’re always cheating on you but not in the basic sense where it’s recognisable. They cheat on you with porn, cam girls, emotionally cheat with colleagues, shop girls, and worse of all with female relatives of theirs. They’re always cheating you when you’re out and about and they’re giving the attention and gawking at other women in front of you.
This is my opinion is more insidious and worse than just flat out cheating because it’s deceptive and they never apologise nor admit to doing these things. At least if someone cheated, they will feel enough guilt to admit it so you can make a decision moving forward.
Not with narcissists they will never admit to any of this stuff and there’s so much stuff that they we many not even know. They have no empathy nor connection to anyone so they don’t even consider you or feel guilt when doing these things.
Stay away from them
Would like to have known this years ago . Thank you .
This topic hits home. I was married for twenty years and I’d ask how to make her feel connected. She’d withhold but would tell me she can’t put into words how I could make her feel connected to me. I was never good enough. She’d even complain when we eventually did have it during it.
Yep. Happened to me exactly like that
Mine would go the other way and use it as a manipulation tactic to get me back onside after she'd been moron. I suspect its just cos I'd pretend I was more annoyed than I was and id also make out i didn't like being manipulated physically in that way.
Which was a fucking lie on my part 😂😂😂
I wonder if that's what it is though. They'll go whichever way with it they feel they can get control. It's always control.
I guess that's the worst part about all this. Turns you into someone you don't like.
When this happened to me, I immediately realized something was wrong and I started my own research. I put a break on it all and left a few weeks later...
This was my ex-wife. At first she couldn't keep her hands off of me. Months later, she'd hug and kiss on my dog that was sitting right next to me. I even told her "if you did that to me instead of the dog, things would be a lot different". She didn't care. Wound up leaving her a few months later.
this clarified a lot of things about my relationship. Thank you so much
In this right now. Found out from his ex he’s been meeting her our entire 2 year relationship. Feeling crushed. Thank you for this video
Probably because they have too much supply going on.
I sure had that done to me. 😢. Really messed me up. But Jesus delivered me and God healed me.
I said to him, "I just want to be enough." Thank you for explaining. I get it now. It's never me.
Best explanation I ever heard on this ..he did not say it is my fault , he was kind to me holding me in his arms, yet actually withheld ..I knew it was all about power and me even wanting him even more. It was all about control and drama Thank you Anoushka 💗 he removed lntimacy once only but denied me things I like ..said next time ...unhealthy behaviour ..mindgames
Just so you know everything that you have predicted has has happened to me. It’s been a year since I’ve been watching you maybe a little longer and not one thing that you have explained has been unfounded. It was not for you. I don’t know where I’d be today. Thank you.❤
Thank you so much Anoushka. You’re so right about how they behave and it is hurtful. Thank you for the education on this, your kindness and reassurance.
They are all the same..out there to hurt us badly
Thank you Anoushka ❤
THANK YOU ANOUSHKA!!!!! I KNOW, RIGHT? WHO DOES THAT?!?
Thank you Anoushka for all you do!!!❤❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Thank you for everything ❤❤
Your very welcome 🙏
Bang on again! Cheers fro LA.
Married to one for thirty three years. Did not realise until we became married, believe it or not. By then too late. A year ago I discovered the concept of “grey rock”. She hasn’t changed much but I am now able to cope with her.
So much this 💯 My now X husband covert coward did this
Thank you Anushka 🎉🎉🎉
Also, withholding _"I love you."_ If only I could turn back time - wish I knew then what I know now...
Yes same 😢
I never got that far, it was entirely pyschological for me, she was so nice to me at first then turned cold. Made me feel good, but I soon realized she was trying to hurt me, even make me jealous, and those excuses, lies and stories were so feeble, that was when it clicked on me. Happened a few times, but when this one kept leaving it open, so I'd just chase again - that's when I really felt their was something seriously wrong with her. I like to compare them to sleazy salemens really, tell you what you what to hear, give you all these promises, but never deliver, act like they're your best friend, the objective is to get you to sign on, but you're really being screw over - they couldn't care less about you, that's just the way they are, completely arrogant.
When it happened to me I was baffled. But then it only solidified my belief that they are getting validation from someone else
I've dealt with this for for 7 years on and off . Not happening anymore . This time I walked away from him . . .
Thank you my ex is just like this and it broke me😢 Still trying to pick up the pieces.
I feel for you ..mine nearly broke me too
Broken to my core!
Thank you Anoushka for this great video it reminds me what I went through the 2 years i was with him which I wasted.❤
Anoushka its a fantastic video again! Thank you for that!❤ Could you pls make video about what kind of professions narcissists do mostly occupy...and also about they eyes how they look (dead eyes) and how they laugh...Its also special at them...Thank you!❤
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist I know a little bit about what you're asking. I've been meaning to make a video on that very subject- but it appears there's a high percentage of doctors that are narcissist. It also appears there's an extremely high percentage of law enforcement officers that are narcissist. And also appears there's a high percentage of politicians that are narcissist. As far as the dead eyes go, that's a really good question. I can't answer that. But I have noticed that with a lot of narcissist, {I haven't even researched it yet} but I hear that when the narcissist changes or The Mask drops, their eye colors change, the color is dull..Also, when they rage and get angry the color is black like a demon. So a lot of people think that maybe there's something to be said for possession by demons.
Well truth be told, it was very painful at first, but he ruined me for him. He is withholding something from me that I absolutely do not want from him anymore. Besides he was never very good at it, all mechanical. It was never intimate.
I always felt like I was married to a woman, until I found out about narcissists. Lightbulb! I still don't understand it.
On point my ex Narc did the same thing and now I know he used this as punishment because I started to say NO when I realized I was being used to help care for mother with dementia and helping him at his companies.I then discarded him and have been thriving for the past year.,bye bird ✌🏽
Its nice to see a woman such as yourself delve into the realm of narcissistic behavior. The dilemma is that us men are the surplus commodity and single women are in a way the limited commodity. I am clear then women also get trapped by narcissists and my heart goes out to them, but I will speak from the male perspective. As the one who played the empath for a number of narcissists I had so much trouble letting go of the delusions I formed from these 'first impressions'. I unfortunately am perhaps slow to learn because I'm in my early 50s and got into one more narcissistic relationship over the past three years. It was clear, the red flags were there, etc. etc. but I still loved them and a part of me still does. They moved and ghosted and the past months I have gone through a lot of inner hell. The sad part is now I'm feeling better I have fluid and entertaining conversations with attractive and succesful women. I am someone who isn't in reality desperate and needy. When I met this person I was in a tough place. They set the trap and the love-bombing was precise and measured. They hooked me. And I guess there is the difficult lesson. My advise to myself and I suppose all men and women would be that....if you are in a bad place and going through hard times....be careful about getting into a relationship with one of these vampires. When you are strong and more clear, you perhaps have more ability to see the signs. Like Anoushka said "we believe the person is everything.... And that is the trap". So so true. Narc-Parents use this form of control on their children....and I strongly suspect many narcissists or empath-victims had this dysfunctional parenting. God bless all of you that have been traumatized by narc-relationships. One you get your head out of this space...you will see there are many people out there capable of true love....but you need to get out of the toxic trap you are in first. Otherwise you will only see that one person you put on a pedastal and sacrifice your time, life, and mental health for....when for them you are a passing distraction. Love yourself and heal my friends. This was great to hear Anoushka and thank you for making this content.
Thank you for your videos
OMG, YES!! I WILL ENJOY IT AGAIN ONE DAY 😢😊
The most devastating thing possible, can't even touch the other person and even try to get them to apologize, cause they cheating!
No it is not about cheating ..it's about mindgames power and control
@@ritapeters1330 Yip, power and control to get the other person to submit, but, nothing will get resolved if the cheating carries on. I don't have the time to play these games anymore!
@@ritapeters1330 I took a bite of chocolate, then got punched and kicked in the face, she left me stranded, stole my laptop and phone, never got it back.
@@ritapeters1330That’s all it’s about with those vile waste of human beings.
I love that the narcissist is trying to hoover me with sexual innuendos, but I'm not the least bit interested. I don't want to have sex with a monster. It's a complete turn-off 😅
Yes, they are usually involved with and having sex with other supply anytime they have stopped having sex with partner. They are focused on the new supply and the partner is now “the old gray mare.”
I withheld sex from a relationship once but it wasn't to try to hurt her. It was to try to protect myself. I didn't know how to leave the relationship and so I made excuses and kept my distance to try to avoid intimacy because I loved her and more intimacy meant even more difficulty in having conversations I needed to have. So it's not always about someone trying to manipulate or hurt you (although, I would have been relieved (possibly) if she had done the conversations I needed to do then). Either way, behaving like that is a sign that someone has a problem. There is a lot of advice on the internet about who is a narcissist. There are sometimes reasons people do things that are not about them seeking validation. In several relationships, it may have looked like I was the narcissist sometimes and like they were other times. I don't know how to diagnose anyone like that and yet for my actions, I know I was just broken and I couldn't say things I needed to say because I was scared.
He hurt and disrespected so much i didnt want to have sex anymore
Should have invested in mussels 🙈🙈🙈😂
oh yes, ma’am this did happen to me for some Reason my ex was blaming me for hurting them and that they just could not have sex with me anymore so my response was OK. I won’t ask again and I didn’t because in the first place it wasn’t all that to begin with and I can do better than they could do I know that’s too much information that I just had to put that in there thank you.
Same...my intuition already said something was up, so I also said ok...left it at that
I had a "phone fling" with a past narcissist who lived in another, distant city for over 10 years. He was very good at phone sex, but totally stopped one day. I was not pleased, and started slowly emo- tionally detaching after that. It wasn't too long before I became interested in another, younger man. It was the perfect revenge, for me.
I felt used by him
Their just users,but sometimes the person behind the false self comes out,that's when they self sabotage themselves.
Their the same with everyone eventually, that's why they don't have any friends.
My narc used to say relationships whatever they are I always get burnt.
Absolutely my ex did that
This one makes me feel kinda weird.
I got blamed of withholding sex to exert power over her and she violated my physical boundaries using this reasoning.
I need too feel well and emotionally close to you to put out, you are not entitled to my body. You do not get to act like a bastard and then make love too me.
My ex female covert narcissist wants sex all the time at first and then she shut down emotionally but not sexually and and after awhile I would feel empty and drained after sex because there was no connection and intimacy and I can't just have sex and not feel the connection. I don't understand why or how anyone can go from 100 to 0 like it's nothing and not care about the person's feelings that they are supposed to be in love with and it was very painful when I realized she never cared about me at all and I was just a sexual object for her to use when she felt like a. At the end of the relationship she started to withhold sex so I got used to not having sex and I stopped initiating when I started to feel unwanted and if she wanted sex she wouldn't communicate with me and would explode on me because I didn't try to have sex with her. On November 2nd she wanted to have sex and I don't know so I went to sleep and she went into a. Narcissistic rage that lasted until the next morning. She was screaming and throwing things in the bedroom while I was still sleeping and asked me for my bank card because she knew that I had enough and was ready to leave her and when I didn't give it to her she got physically abusive so I walked away literally from my home and left my truck there that I never got back and I never went back to her. Yesterday was a year exactly since I left and my mental, emotional and physical health are better but I'm a long way from being healed but at least I have more inner peace than I've had in years. Thank you so much for your helpful videos. You and others that make videos on narcissistic abuse have really helped me to understand why I went through so much hell that it's not my fault and I didn't deserve it so thanks to you and others from the bottom of my heart
They want to destroy us and hurt us withholding whatever up to their rules. They are all horrible people. Mine is ghosting me now, and I have to understand that there is no real connection 😢 it was only fake love
Been five months makes excuses to see or call me I’m done he can go with his snow bunny
This was the most hurtful, damaging thing, to me!!!! He was the one to initiate sex. At first he wud use excuses, " Oh my hernia hurts", oh my shoulder hurts. There r sum things he did to me that r too personal to say here.
She asked me to put my hands on her back like I use to then I got i didn't consent to that. All the time she was sleeping with her partner (child abuser) she was pregnant to me she had no food in for her kids and she was not eating
There was a time when we both lost our jobs and in search for new. She had to study for a test. While I help watch our child ect. For a whole week we stood together and had sex once. She did nothing but sit with her laptop. Or kept our son home from daycare a couple times. She even said she may dress sexy after a shower and she didn’t. To mess with my head. One day we had a great time taking kids out to play. Later in the night she kicks me out of her apartment. I try to communicate asking why what’s going on. No explanation. Stuff like this happened a lot. She can brag our sex is good yet she will withhold it. It’s only convenience for them. And sometimes it’s because they are having sex and attention from someone else. Which I found out she was.
Mine said all we had was good sex bc we were basically fwb for the last 5 years after 11 years off and on. Then a couple years ago he started withholding sex, turning down spontaneous booty calls, stopped flirting with me, then told me to stop sending sexy pics and flirty texts. Then he told me to date other people if I wanted sex so bad. Caught him cheating online again every time he’d cause a fight. Insanity.
They all have their textbook hidden under their pillow ..😢
This is so funny. Now I know why they were mad. It didn’t work on me. I wanted to stop fornicating anyway😂I saw it as an answered prayer . Now , I have repented, ended that relationship, and rededicated my life to Christ
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I think the narc. copied Joe Rogan's personality for a short time among others. Sigh.
Love the plant in the background
My ex gf was more borderline but did these same dynamics, in the beginning sex all day , even to the point where I didn’t want anymore,then slow it came now and then , then it was transactional, then long periods of no sex , but when she wanted sex it was when I was asleep , other times she would say No that she wast attracted to me or No I haven’t been listening to her , sometimes I was on eggshells with her and would feel hesitant to engage because many times she would reject me , it got to a point when one day I just went behind her and tried to hug her and she shrugged me off and I got to a point that this relationship was pointless, in the end I was exhausted from walking on eggshells and her disrespect, after 5 years I left , out of many slanders and blaming me one that stood out was that all I only wanted from her was sex , 6 months later she married some guy in less than a month, week two he was already living with her , but these types are cold blooded no remorse people, they just jump from relationship to relationship.
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They are autoerotic they don’t need intimacy and sex in fact most are truly turned off once they had you a few times.
My ex admitted that masturbation felt better with porn because he didn’t have to focus on another person’s pleasure. They choose porn because that’s where they can indulge in their fantasies and kinks which never share what those things are to you.
If anyone deny you your needs in any relationship leave. No point in warning them, as it will always revert back because this is how the person is, narcissist or not.
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Is it true that all narcissists have diseases down there?
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Well you codependents still stick around so why complain, most women will not leave a narc until they have had a baby with them. Only then can they raise the child into exactly what they attract.
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