Richard hi it's me again. Merry Christmas I went to holiday market again today. There's a food vendor there who bears an uncanny resemblance to Richard G. So he and the guy's girlfriend looked him up when i told them that . The guy said he has some siblings he's never met, in fact . So after walking around and grabbing a bite to eat, I came back to find him still poring over the RG channel totally dumbfounded and stunned, smiling like "woah" so I responded by saying he might have a shared ancestor with you through his father.
He said it's probably his father's ancestry and his girlfriend said she can see the resemblance too. He was selling mac n cheese and when I first saw him his girlfriend wasn't with him and he was grumpy. Then she joined him at the booth the next time i saw him he was friendly and happy towards me. He acted kinda like you when he missed his girlfriend, very pensive and such. Sorry i didn't get his name but might say hello to ya.
Gives you fibromyalgia and breaks your ability to self regulate your emotions, and the more you try to explain to any one what they are doing, the more you look mad, and like the “problem”
yep. and then the narcissistic machine in the medical establishment tells you it's genetic or some other bullshit instead of having a mindbody healing approach
I have just ended a 5-year on and off abusive relationship with a narcissist..The day before Christmas Eve..now I feel bad for throwing him out before Christmas...but he was so abusive towards me, calling me names, belitelling me, causing scenes in public all the time, giving me silent treatment even in this time, while I was begging him to talk to me, to have a nice Christmas season as planned...I know this cycle so well as it is numerous break-up with him...but it hurts damn hard...I am afraid of the days to come...afraid of the pain...
But being free of the N is wonderful! Plant your mind on that joy! No false guilt, no putting fear of pain first, you parted company from the N in order to take care of yourself, did you not? Abuse is not permitted, you followed wisdom on that! Wisdom is GOOD! 🤗 Peace to you!
Take it one minute at a time. You will feel pain but you will come through the other side with an empowered and enriched life-please don't back down. You deserve better. Wishing you the best! I survived abuse from my mother, sister, step son and in laws. I went no contact with each and every one of them-know this, after a year of crippling anxiety and five years prior to that of hysterical weeping I'm the strongest bitch I know-not only that I made good friends. Stick to your boundaries and trust your gut.
You've made such a brave move, and please don't doubt yourself. Everything you have listed is just as abusive as punches, kicks or slaps - the impact of the psychological abuse is not necessarily visible to others, or as easy to explain, but it is as damaging. So when ever you doubt your decision to end that abusive relationship, think about all the psychological punches you have received...you deserve soooo much better - stay strong✊️
You and Sam Vaknin helped me get my life back. She literally controlled my endocrine system. I was in a full blown panic attack for a year. It took many months to recover. I watched 100’s of hours of you and Sam and a few others. Now I see it so clearly, especially my part allowing it. Thank you.
@@mattgwynlloyd If I may reply, one must lock onto the truth. If you are focused on the truth of wisdom, you will not allow contact with them. It is essential to stay away from them due to their abuses. I went No Contact from abusive narcissistic-sociopath family members decades ago, and it's vital to stay away from them. It's also what you need in order to heal.
Breaking one's arm is illegal and will be prosecuted. Breaking one's heart has no consequences. But the damage is much worse and the healing takes much longer. Terrible injustice.
Richard: You forgot to mention the good part of it - after 5 years of living in abuse I have grown a narcissist radar detector. I’m no longer manipulated, in all aspects of life. Including having analyzed my childhood to figure out why I was vulnerable to these types. Thank you for posting, your videos helped me so much analyze and figure out what was going on and why.
Definitely not an experience I would ever wish on anyone. Very sneaky, slow process..... CPTD is not simple to recover from. NO CONTACT. Thank you RG for all of your guidance, modalities, sharing your experiences and validating that the future is and remains BRIGHT. Keep it real, raw and direct! NO CONTACT.
Go to any local Evangelical church, get involved (get close to the leadership) and you'll quickly find out what dark, religious narcissistic abuse is all about. It's dark. Probably true for many other religious organizations too.
You are always the problem in their eyes , ....it feels like an eternity trying to free , yourself from the dark narcissistic webb of deceit ! ...cheers Richard, Best wishes 🌲❤️
good timing, was about to unblock them... I guess the positive memories are a form of flashback too, like an addiction, I know I know I know it was all lies, and yet... it is sooo hard, thank you for all you do
Ugh! Has anyone else experienced an intense anger stage? I’ve been having a flood of flashbacks and the new framework infuriates me. I try to resolve it in my mind by trying to figure out what I could have done differently and the realization that anything I could have done would have escalated it. My husband was and is so trauma bonded that he does not have my back with his narc cult family. I reached my window of tolerance that propels me to work through the painful healing journey, but because he is resistant it’s like sleeping with the enemy in my own home. It’s lonely. We’ve been completely No Contact for over 2 years. The battle never ends, they continue to see it as a challenge to cause us harm through proxies. That is the part that is the last straw for me, that makes it a struggle for me to forgive, but I go through the motions anyway for myself to heal. The good news, I see the red flags now when the devil sends fresh Narc replacements in our life. Nope ✋
Once again great insights Richard! New for me is that you mention that "you don't owe TRUTH to the Narcissist". This has a soothing effect 😇 This made me remember as I went no-contact for over 2 years, I often felt guilty and wanted to explain to him why I couldn't take his lies, his horrible tantrums and manipulation anymore! Gracias y felíz Navidad🙏🏻🎄🌟
Thank you for your work and your channel. Its the Best help there is about to help me 🙏 I understand myself so much better and thanks for helping me identify all the shit. You're spot on
Flashback my spouse evokes: incongruent ability to connect. Attempt to reject. Imposter. Liar. Working on this 10 years. 9 & 6 year old are being groomed that he is the greatest and that I am breaking up our family, every visit. This is the hardest! I have my prayers and faith and educate myself. This warfare is demonic, as is so many things in this life!
Thank you for explaining everything so well. I am over the narc, blocked him totally. But I go back and listen to you now and then because it is so interesting to learn more about narcissism. I wish you a nice Christmas and a Good New 2025🎄🤗
Very clear explanation. Thank you - I know this is a bit controversial, however going to church, a historically tested one, like catholism, orthodox, or non- calvinism one may be helpful. ❤
The sad reality is that the narcissist is responsible to the decline in progress in our lives, and even if we break from the narcissist, the desire to punish the narcissist for what they have done is immense
Hi. An option may be to forgive all the betrayals, deceptions and abuse of your trust. The ACTIONS. As for the "being"..... meh..... revenge, spite, etc., is not ours. Justice is inevitable.... invest your emotional energies into YOUR best, healthiest, healed future.
I believe I’m involved with a narcissist always insulting. If I don’t answer the phone right away he’ll ask what I’m doing. And always wanting to know my information if I ask questions, he gets mad very controlling and sometimes during sex she gets mad out of no where I believe she’s damaged my self-esteem here lately he told me we need to get you some self-esteem one night we were on the phone and she was very insulting to me, and then a few days later was love bombing me And if I ignore her, she gets really really mad
In the end nobody wins here. If you identify as a victim you're just polluting your own well. When you take ownership you become the villain reinforcing the illusion of the narc. To me the healing stems from being able to isolate the areas of relationship that was exposed by the narcissist and focusing on growing from that. And then leaving the rest of the baggage to God, by letting the pain and the blame shifting burn during the no contact phase of the discard. Without a relationship with God, you'll forever have your future dictated by the over or under corrections from the pain that was consumed from choosing to align with one of these people. As time and giving the pain and anger and hurt up to Christ you'll have a path that straightens up.
How can we identify those who projected a lie of us on our life? There are varying degrees of this in different people in different ways. Records of your life mishandled? It is the misplaced anger leading to misplaced, blame, and shame. Passive stuffed down anger comes out as lies.
She is Muslim and used sex as a tool to gain the upper hand in our relationship. part of me wishes to expose this to her community out of revenge but another part feels sorry for her and cant bring myself to do something like this to her even after all the abuse and discard in midst of 5 close family members being severely ill, me losing my job, all my financial reserves and breaking my phone out of frustration over her behavior. Crazy to see what happened, but in retrospect I understand why. She used religion and cultural differences to lovebomb me through the "will of God" and act like a 304 while simultaneously hiding behind cultural reasons for why she's not actually cheating or scamming me. In the end she just wanted to keep all the expensive gifts I bought as means of engagement in her community. Her two very close narc friends should've been a telltale sign of what kind of person she is too. Now i grieve for a lost year of my life as my father is on his death bed and missing my brother's firstborn's first couple of months. Thank you for all your videos, bro. Really helpful to recognize that it was all a scam and that I'm better for all the experience that I've lived through. Also very thankful for Dragon Ball because it trains me to believe there's a zenkai boost on the way. Just gotta pull through and become more powerful than before this whole circus.
Give it time. U will lose the im feeling sorry for the narc feelings eventually for sure. It will hit u so hard everything u went thru and u will not feel sorry for them u will feel sorry for urself how abused u were!
@@bravesoul7777 thanks sis, I wish. Had that happen already, but yesterday I remembered the good times and her innocent smile and laugh and felt terrible. Gym, $, friends, family keeping me from offing myself rn as I lost all finances, investments, went $5k in debt, athletic physique went into fatass 55% bodyfat, lost my job and 7 good business opportunities, stopped to believe in God because I attempted to change religion for her.... its like someone abused and tortured my heart, body and soul at the same time. Sorry for venting, I appreciate your comment and to know someone out there cares to read and reply. I like to believe how ill manage a comeback after all this crap and be proud of myself.
You asked that of someone that does *not honor boundaries or what is good for you. Narcissists do not care and will not honor your requests or needs. Do not expect the N to do that, they WON'T. It is for > you < to block the N's calls or to change your phone number or to move away. They will not respect your terms. You're asking the devil to play nice. By telling the N that it is for your healing, that only encourages them to come against your vulnerability.
Maybe good to eventuallu like all stuff you do, maybe good to also not work for others too much, if its not fun/dream/your thing, maybe decrease it over time, no need full pay always if possible and go into your stuff, and like business owners making for example some cans, maybe should also quit eventually and go into funs maybe run stuff together with some ppl so less working needed, maybe work sharing would be good thing so ppl would be freed from "shit jobs", more ppl would also find work and go into nicer stuff with free time, also would find more stuff maybe more development in some areas like new inspirations, like even for ppl working as helpers, maybe also dont help too much, share it, and like when helping in other countrys work towards letting ppl there do it, give em jobs and get yourself out of there, even too much good is maybe not good and maybe steals from arts etc
If I might reply to that, the stress of the abuse does damage to the sheath that protects nerve endings, which in turn directly facilitates that illness. It is another reason why one must follow wisdom by going No Contact from those abusers.
🔗 30-Day Challenge 2025 - www.richardgrannon.com/course/30-day-challenge-2025
🔗 MoodMap - www.moodmaplogs.com/
Richard hi it's me again. Merry Christmas I went to holiday market again today. There's a food vendor there who bears an uncanny resemblance to Richard G. So he and the guy's girlfriend looked him up when i told them that . The guy said he has some siblings he's never met, in fact . So after walking around and grabbing a bite to eat, I came back to find him still poring over the RG channel totally dumbfounded and stunned, smiling like "woah" so I responded by saying he might have a shared ancestor with you through his father.
He said it's probably his father's ancestry and his girlfriend said she can see the resemblance too. He was selling mac n cheese and when I first saw him his girlfriend wasn't with him and he was grumpy. Then she joined him at the booth the next time i saw him he was friendly and happy towards me. He acted kinda like you when he missed his girlfriend, very pensive and such. Sorry i didn't get his name but might say hello to ya.
We all are, the world is under narcissistic abuse.
Yep
Amen, they say one in six are narcissistic so yes that screws up the world!!
America is an entirely narcissistic society
Gives you fibromyalgia and breaks your ability to self regulate your emotions, and the more you try to explain to any one what they are doing, the more you look mad, and like the “problem”
yep. and then the narcissistic machine in the medical establishment tells you it's genetic or some other bullshit instead of having a mindbody healing approach
Totally! I have fibro .
I have just ended a 5-year on and off abusive relationship with a narcissist..The day before Christmas Eve..now I feel bad for throwing him out before Christmas...but he was so abusive towards me, calling me names, belitelling me, causing scenes in public all the time, giving me silent treatment even in this time, while I was begging him to talk to me, to have a nice Christmas season as planned...I know this cycle so well as it is numerous break-up with him...but it hurts damn hard...I am afraid of the days to come...afraid of the pain...
But being free of the N is wonderful! Plant your mind on that joy! No false guilt, no putting fear of pain first, you parted company from the N in order to take care of yourself, did you not? Abuse is not permitted, you followed wisdom on that! Wisdom is GOOD! 🤗 Peace to you!
Take it one minute at a time. You will feel pain but you will come through the other side with an empowered and enriched life-please don't back down. You deserve better. Wishing you the best! I survived abuse from my mother, sister, step son and in laws. I went no contact with each and every one of them-know this, after a year of crippling anxiety and five years prior to that of hysterical weeping I'm the strongest bitch I know-not only that I made good friends. Stick to your boundaries and trust your gut.
You've made such a brave move, and please don't doubt yourself. Everything you have listed is just as abusive as punches, kicks or slaps - the impact of the psychological abuse is not necessarily visible to others, or as easy to explain, but it is as damaging. So when ever you doubt your decision to end that abusive relationship, think about all the psychological punches you have received...you deserve soooo much better - stay strong✊️
Come in like waves, in time, the waves become smaller, and less often.
You and Sam Vaknin helped me get my life back. She literally controlled my endocrine system. I was in a full blown panic attack for a year. It took many months to recover. I watched 100’s of hours of you and Sam and a few others. Now I see it so clearly, especially my part allowing it. Thank you.
Same 8 months out 3 months no contact
@@calebkeegan3023how did you remain no contact? I’m finding it really difficult.
@@mattgwynlloyd
If I may reply, one must lock onto the truth. If you are focused on the truth of wisdom, you will not allow contact with them. It is essential to stay away from them due to their abuses. I went No Contact from abusive narcissistic-sociopath family members decades ago, and it's vital to stay away from them. It's also what you need in order to heal.
Years of watching
I feel so stuck. I definitely think this kind of abuse should be illegal. I need Devine intervention. Cptsd is no joke.
Breaking one's arm is illegal and will be prosecuted.
Breaking one's heart has no consequences. But the damage is much worse and the healing takes much longer.
Terrible injustice.
@sagreedabine1768
Richard: You forgot to mention the good part of it - after 5 years of living in abuse I have grown a narcissist radar detector. I’m no longer manipulated, in all aspects of life. Including having analyzed my childhood to figure out why I was vulnerable to these types.
Thank you for posting, your videos helped me so much analyze and figure out what was going on and why.
Yeah, my gut always warns me too. Sometimes, I am just too slow to listen to it.
Definitely not an experience I would ever wish on anyone. Very sneaky, slow process.....
CPTD is not simple to recover from. NO CONTACT. Thank you RG for all of your guidance, modalities, sharing your experiences and validating that the future is and remains BRIGHT. Keep it real, raw and direct!
NO CONTACT.
Brilliant, This is helpful!!! You should get a Nobel Prize, Thank you so much, really!!! ❤👍
Go to any local Evangelical church, get involved (get close to the leadership) and you'll quickly find out what dark, religious narcissistic abuse is all about. It's dark. Probably true for many other religious organizations too.
I think it’s almost in every organisation on the top of hierarchy
You are always the problem in their eyes , ....it feels like an eternity trying to free , yourself from the dark narcissistic webb of deceit ! ...cheers Richard, Best wishes 🌲❤️
Always something new to learn here. Thank you!
Exactly exactly exactly!!!! Obedience even when you scream at them go,go, go. They will not comply!!!!!
You are a very generous human being, Richard
Abandon sincere communication with the terminally insincere *BOOM* This pearl of wisdom just sent shock waves through me.
Bless you, mate 🙏🏻🕊🍀
good timing, was about to unblock them... I guess the positive memories are a form of flashback too, like an addiction, I know I know I know it was all lies, and yet... it is sooo hard, thank you for all you do
We must remind ourselves to always follow wisdom. Making room for narcissists is never wisdom. Just say No!
Stay strong! Do not unblock!!! ❤
Alway best updated content
I highly recommend Richard’s 30 day program. It’s excellent and helped me tremendously.
I'm going to try again. Thank you for this!
Thank you for reminding me of who I am, Richard.
Ugh! Has anyone else experienced an intense anger stage? I’ve been having a flood of flashbacks and the new framework infuriates me. I try to resolve it in my mind by trying to figure out what I could have done differently and the realization that anything I could have done would have escalated it. My husband was and is so trauma bonded that he does not have my back with his narc cult family. I reached my window of tolerance that propels me to work through the painful healing journey, but because he is resistant it’s like sleeping with the enemy in my own home. It’s lonely. We’ve been completely No Contact for over 2 years. The battle never ends, they continue to see it as a challenge to cause us harm through proxies. That is the part that is the last straw for me, that makes it a struggle for me to forgive, but I go through the motions anyway for myself to heal. The good news, I see the red flags now when the devil sends fresh Narc replacements in our life. Nope ✋
Yep, anger stage is perfectly normal, I used to yell it out in the car by myself. Not to the other cars though...😂.
Hi Richard
That was so helpful, thank you so much. I was raised by a narcissistic parent and it’s horrible.
Explained excellently, always nice to get conformation, because everything you said all makes sense. Thank you.
Did you mean "confirmation?"
Once again great insights Richard! New for me is that you mention that "you don't owe TRUTH to the Narcissist".
This has a soothing effect 😇
This made me remember as I went no-contact for over 2 years, I often felt guilty and wanted to explain to him why I couldn't take his lies, his horrible tantrums and manipulation anymore!
Gracias y felíz Navidad🙏🏻🎄🌟
Thank you for your work and your channel. Its the Best help there is about to help me 🙏 I understand myself so much better and thanks for helping me identify all the shit. You're spot on
I wrote on my mirror “any and all communication is venomous spider eggs”!
Thanks Richard. Incredible summary. Your work is super valuable.
Thanks, great video!
2:48 Thank you for this . Your approach opened up another knot for me to express this experience more clearly.
Appreciate it ❤
💖I lived with PTSD from the age of 10 to 47. They ruined my whole life. I'm only now starting to figure out who I am. 💖🙏
Excellent summary.
Flashback my spouse evokes: incongruent ability to connect. Attempt to reject. Imposter. Liar.
Working on this 10 years. 9 & 6 year old are being groomed that he is the greatest and that I am breaking up our family, every visit. This is the hardest! I have my prayers and faith and educate myself. This warfare is demonic, as is so many things in this life!
Thanks!
Thank you for explaining everything so well. I am over the narc, blocked him totally. But I go back and listen to you now and then because it is so interesting to learn more about narcissism. I wish you a nice Christmas and a Good New 2025🎄🤗
You explain it all so eloquent. Thanks. Greetings from Portugal. You have been very helpful to me.
Needed this today, thank you Richard & Happy Christmas! 🎄
Nutcracker I see you!! Merry Christmas all 🎄❤️
Very clear explanation. Thank you - I know this is a bit controversial, however going to church, a historically tested one, like catholism, orthodox, or non- calvinism one may be helpful. ❤
Hello Richard, your videos give great insight and I want to thank you. Thanks!
Might sound a bit soft but...... loved this one.... it focuses on the bloom! Merry Christmas Spartan life coach 🌠🎁🎄🤶🎅
👍😁 thank u. From SA.
Yep
If you feel like you don’t know what foot to dance on, you’ve most likely had an interaction with a narcissist.
Thank you very much
The sad reality is that the narcissist is responsible to the decline in progress in our lives, and even if we break from the narcissist, the desire to punish the narcissist for what they have done is immense
Hi. An option may be to forgive all the betrayals, deceptions and abuse of your trust. The ACTIONS. As for the "being"..... meh..... revenge, spite, etc., is not ours. Justice is inevitable.... invest your emotional energies into YOUR best, healthiest, healed future.
They are cold blooded, entitled sadistic entities…
Ty
Fix that Nutcracker to your right. He needs to face forward. Just like yourself. Look forwards always. 🎄🎁🗽
I believe I’m involved with a narcissist always insulting. If I don’t answer the phone right away he’ll ask what I’m doing. And always wanting to know my information if I ask questions, he gets mad very controlling and sometimes during sex she gets mad out of no where I believe she’s damaged my self-esteem here lately he told me we need to get you some self-esteem one night we were on the phone and she was very insulting to me, and then a few days later was love bombing me And if I ignore her, she gets really really mad
I will always have me
In the end nobody wins here. If you identify as a victim you're just polluting your own well. When you take ownership you become the villain reinforcing the illusion of the narc.
To me the healing stems from being able to isolate the areas of relationship that was exposed by the narcissist and focusing on growing from that. And then leaving the rest of the baggage to God, by letting the pain and the blame shifting burn during the no contact phase of the discard.
Without a relationship with God, you'll forever have your future dictated by the over or under corrections from the pain that was consumed from choosing to align with one of these people.
As time and giving the pain and anger and hurt up to Christ you'll have a path that straightens up.
How can we identify those who projected a lie of us on our life? There are varying degrees of this in different people in different ways. Records of your life mishandled? It is the misplaced anger leading to misplaced, blame, and shame. Passive stuffed down anger comes out as lies.
This world is truly fucked up.
How can someone who is close to an abuse survivor support their healing? Specially in a relationship after the abusive one?
Absolutely no doubt they wanted me out on the street with nothing but guess what it didn't happen I'm still standing how do you like me now
She is Muslim and used sex as a tool to gain the upper hand in our relationship. part of me wishes to expose this to her community out of revenge but another part feels sorry for her and cant bring myself to do something like this to her even after all the abuse and discard in midst of 5 close family members being severely ill, me losing my job, all my financial reserves and breaking my phone out of frustration over her behavior. Crazy to see what happened, but in retrospect I understand why. She used religion and cultural differences to lovebomb me through the "will of God" and act like a 304 while simultaneously hiding behind cultural reasons for why she's not actually cheating or scamming me. In the end she just wanted to keep all the expensive gifts I bought as means of engagement in her community. Her two very close narc friends should've been a telltale sign of what kind of person she is too. Now i grieve for a lost year of my life as my father is on his death bed and missing my brother's firstborn's first couple of months. Thank you for all your videos, bro. Really helpful to recognize that it was all a scam and that I'm better for all the experience that I've lived through. Also very thankful for Dragon Ball because it trains me to believe there's a zenkai boost on the way. Just gotta pull through and become more powerful than before this whole circus.
Give it time. U will lose the im feeling sorry for the narc feelings eventually for sure. It will hit u so hard everything u went thru and u will not feel sorry for them u will feel sorry for urself how abused u were!
@@bravesoul7777 thanks sis, I wish. Had that happen already, but yesterday I remembered the good times and her innocent smile and laugh and felt terrible. Gym, $, friends, family keeping me from offing myself rn as I lost all finances, investments, went $5k in debt, athletic physique went into fatass 55% bodyfat, lost my job and 7 good business opportunities, stopped to believe in God because I attempted to change religion for her.... its like someone abused and tortured my heart, body and soul at the same time. Sorry for venting, I appreciate your comment and to know someone out there cares to read and reply. I like to believe how ill manage a comeback after all this crap and be proud of myself.
I begged him not to make contact with me because n order to heal! He disregarded my feelings and tried many various ways to get hold of me.
You asked that of someone that does *not honor boundaries or what is good for you. Narcissists do not care and will not honor your requests or needs. Do not expect the N to do that, they WON'T. It is for > you < to block the N's calls or to change your phone number or to move away. They will not respect your terms. You're asking the devil to play nice. By telling the N that it is for your healing, that only encourages them to come against your vulnerability.
Maybe good to eventuallu like all stuff you do, maybe good to also not work for others too much, if its not fun/dream/your thing, maybe decrease it over time, no need full pay always if possible and go into your stuff, and like business owners making for example some cans, maybe should also quit eventually and go into funs maybe run stuff together with some ppl so less working needed, maybe work sharing would be good thing so ppl would be freed from "shit jobs", more ppl would also find work and go into nicer stuff with free time, also would find more stuff maybe more development in some areas like new inspirations, like even for ppl working as helpers, maybe also dont help too much, share it, and like when helping in other countrys work towards letting ppl there do it, give em jobs and get yourself out of there, even too much good is maybe not good and maybe steals from arts etc
Everytime I listen to you, I re-experience how fkd up I am... lol 😅
I feel like IM the narcissist, when I'm trying to heal, and set boundaries. Feels like IM being horrible.
@dabeef3333 i know dont tho i felt same they cheated lied hid things from us while we stayed loyal
What if I'm the narcissist? It's just an endless loop of no emotions where emotions should be.
Is it possible to get Shingles from narcissistic abuse, Richard?
If I might reply to that, the stress of the abuse does damage to the sheath that protects nerve endings, which in turn directly facilitates that illness. It is another reason why one must follow wisdom by going No Contact from those abusers.
We need to heal our own narcissism. There is nothing outside ourselves. It is all self punishme t at its core.
You have clearly never been abused by a narcissist. They destroy you. Nobody would punish themselves in that evil way.