It is tough to learn how to experience anxiety but it's okay to be anxious and it is so useful to learn how to experience anxiety. The trick is to experience it. Trying to get rid of it will just end with a new set of compulsive behaviors. After years of doing something, it's inevitable that stopping it will cause you anxiety. But your brain changes. Exercise (especially running) helps brains change, as does eating a healthy, nutritious diet, and meditation. All three helped me a lot.
Thanks for the comment! It can take time for physical symptoms to lessen as your body catches up with your recovery. For the morning, I found it helpful to put sticky notes on my alarm clock to tell me what to do when I woke up. Following the notes instead of listening to your brain can help teach the rest of your body how you want it to act. Brains like to save energy, so when your brain sees you're not going to react to all of its complaining, it'll gradually learn to stop complaining.
Hello Mark,Do you have a video on how to make notes in the morning for setting up day in a more healty way?thankyou for your videos and your optimistic empowering approach ..you are a source of hope!!
What I love the most about your videos is that you just do this to help people out. You don't just sell a program and say buy my program and it will cure you. You actually take your time to explain everything you know about anxiety disorders without asking for any money from it. Not even asking for likes and that just comes to show what kind of person you are. You are someone to admire and I'm going to start implementing the information you provide in your videos so it can help me with my GAD/Panic Disorder. Thanks again man keep up the good work :)
Thanks, José. I do make a fraction of a penny every time somebody watches a complete ad at the start of a video. So I'm not totally not making money. But I do think it is important to share these tools freely. The tough part is implementing them in our lives, so there's no reason to make it even more difficult just to find out about them. I wish you all the best as you tackle GAD/Panic Disorder!
Thanks! I see myself as recovered. I don't have any symptoms. But mental health is chronic, just like physical health--if I stopped taking care of either on a daily basis, I could easily develop an illness again, just like anybody. By the end of therapy, which was 6 months of ERP, there was a huge difference in symptoms, but I kept practicing on my own and would say it was 2 years before there were 0 symptoms. The brain takes time to change, especially after years of using it in unhealthy ways.
Thanks for watching! Maybe watch the False Memory video again. The point of that is there are no real or false memories--it's all just stuff in our heads that we attach arbitrary labels to and then react to. Pursuing the idea that there's a special feeling that means something is what's causing this problem. You're attaching that meaning. You could attach it to anything (or nothing). You can't be certain so trying to discriminate between real or false always leads to more anxiety.
Thank you mark, you've really helped me to get through my darkest times in light and see the light at the end of the tunnel, when I thought I was trapped in that tunnel. Thank you!!
Thanks, Bruce. Becoming obsessed with the illness happens frequently. It can be helpful to channel that energy into healthier activities. All the best with your recovery!
Thanks for mentioning that! I find that cutting out a compulsion follows a pattern called The Uncertainty Curve. As soon as you start hugging anxiety, the anxiety goes up and up. For me, when I cut out a compulsion, I experience big spikes in anxiety and my brain tries to engage in all sorts of new OCD behaviors, peaking around 4 days later, and then it starts to decrease. It's different for everyone and useful to learn your pattern so you know it's coming and can prepare accordingly.
I really needed this today. I have made so much progress over the last 5 years, but today I felt like everything was crashing down again because I got a new job after not working for a while. I need to face this fear according to my values, and climb my way out of this hole. Really, thank you.
Thanks, Jessica! There is a "Brasil" note back there. Good eye! I was in Brazil last fall. That was a note to remind me to go to Brazil. When I got back I crossed it off. Sticky notes are useful for reminding us to do important things like pick up groceries, go to Brazil, make blog posts, etc.
That's a great idea! I'm traveling lots for work right now but will be able to get back to a regular video making schedule in April. I'll do one then. OCD can pop up so quickly in relationships because they're so important to us.
I'll try to do something on "Pure-O" in the future. In the meantime, I'd definitely recommend getting your daughter in to see a CBT professional. Doing CBT for those types of compulsions will involve practicing how to relabel thoughts because it's the judgements and beliefs we attach to thoughts that cause the "torment". And it will also likely involve doing activities that spark those thoughts and then learning to just accept them and move on with her day to show her brain everything is fine.
THANK YOU MARK!! You have some amazingly helpful tips like " Mental Indigestion " and I love the weed analogy and especially the flowers. I diagnosed myself at age 33 last year after suffering my whole life. I'm becoming obsessed with the illness itself now. You might enjoy "Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker if you haven't already read it. I'm obsessed with this book as well. I have the audiobook and the paperback and listen to or read it everyday. Thanks again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's great that you're seeing it's about OCD, not the "theme". I've got a video on that you can find on my channel. As for Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP), it isn't something you get told about. And you might not be doing it correctly if you're still having these problems. Doing ERP should involve an intensive program of progressive daily exercises over the course of several months. I'd recommend it (worked great for me) but do it with an expert--ie: not somebody who just talks about it.
Sounds good. You might want to check out my videos on OCD themes, and the one on treating OCD like a weed. They both talk about how to tackle this idea that obsessions keep changing and how to see through those superficial changes at what's consistent beneath them.
When your mind races from A to Z to the end of the world whenever you experience anything it is indeed a freaky, annoying, and debilitating experience. You listed a bunch of things you've tried to get over this and it's great that you're trying things. But a lot of those things aren't proven methods for beating anxiety disorders. I'd suggest trying a behavioral therapy like Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or Exposure & Response Prevention. They worked for me.
I love your videos man. How long was from when you first began therapy to the time you were completely recovered. Or do you still see yourself as not fully recovered?
great tips thank u what about doubts, when doubt is so so strong, u know its so real, u feel so anxious with a strong urge to know if the doubt is real or not! is this urge going to be less with time, how long does it take to have less urges and less doubts.
I used to have germ anxiety, that went away with a lot of hard work and then I got very OCD about checking door etc, now that has gone away I have anxiety about my teeth. I am exhausted!! I am slowly learning it's not actually about the thing (eg my teeth), it's about my aniety. Anything you would recommend to help me here? Have seen someone about it a few years ago and basically just told me about exposure etc which I was already doing.
Thank you! I find your videos very helpful. I was wondering thoug how to deal/relieve the physical symptoms of anxiety. For me, I wake up in the morning, my stomach immediately starts turning, i get nauseous, itchy, shaky, and pretty much just end up feeling physically ill at the thought of getting out of bed. In that moment i see nno benifit in it at all, and feel like i would just rather die. What can i do to actually force myself to overcome this and not give in to it?
Hi Mark. I'm currently having really bad Anxiety about doing modifications to my car. I done my research and there eazy and safe modifications that I want done. However I feel Anxiety either way, whether its deciding to hold off meanwhile or to proceed and get the modifications done to my car. I get Anxiety either way. I'm stuck.
Especially physical symptoms of anxiety. It helped me to approach it as uncomfortable feelings. The brain will throw up whatever uncomfortable feelings get us into compulsions. So it's not useful to differentiate between physical or mental. If you see physical symptoms as different, it just throws up lots of physical symptoms
You might find it helpful to approach this all as mental health rather than seeing it as something separate from OCD (or seeing OCD as separate from anxiety). Building better mental health is all about accepting feelings we don't like and then doing things we value. That's how we get over the symptoms we usually label as OCD or as any anxiety disorder.
Hi Mark, I understand you mention we shouldn't avoid anxiety, and we shouldn't give in to compulsion. if I do not react or give in to compulsion, I will be keep having anxiety, how can I live a healthy and happy life with anxiety, should I just endure the anxiety and avoid doing the compulsion? After I recognise the feeling that cause anxiety, what next? How can I live a life with anxiety? How to accept anxiety?
Hehe, as I've got OCD since the age of 19 (am 32 now), it's sometimes difficult to distinguish which negative feelings are OCD-related and which are just part of regular adulthood.
Some of my earliest memories are of spending weeks on compulsions, so it helped to see that it's not about judging and categorizing feelings. It's about how I interact with ANY feeling
Mark Freeman yes, as you've mentioned before one gets so good at doing compulsions that they become hard to quit. Like an addict chasing the feeling of the first fix and needing higher and higher doses to achieve an approximate feeling. Also compulsions get so complex and abstract that it's hard to let it go.
Mark Freeman Hi Mark, I guess it's not a useful frame to have. I have been doing ERP for 2-3 months now but with me it's the "backdoor spike" that seems to get me all the time. Like, I accept all my fears and tell OCD "you're right, all of this is correct" but then OCD goes "no it's all fake, but i'll torture you with doubts and fears for eternity". So it's like as I'm slowly loosing my fear of specific things, my fear of OCD and "the idea of things" increases. Am I making sense?
Sean Potts There's lots of research showing that SSRIs are no more effective than a placebo. But placebos often "work". The important thing, however, is to not mistake relief from pain for solving the thing that caused the pain. If you're hitting yourself in the face with a baseball bat, you can take drugs to relieve the pain of that, but if you keep hitting yourself, even if you don't feel it, you're still doing damage and you haven't solved the problem that caused the pain.
Mark Freeman i completely agree im trying to come of but they wont let me to quicky i have come along way in the last year of years of suffering thanks for replying appreaciate it
Same. The topic doesn't matter. You can swap in anything. That's just the bad thing we want to avoid and control. What matters is how we interact with the fear.
@@everybodyhasabrain so I need to invite the anxiety, look forward to the anxiety. I was trying to think how I can challenge it , build a hierarchy, maybe doing some silent meditations and build up the times because what I probably fear the most is my mind and being left alone with it. Would you have any other suggestions. I'm so thankful you responded, I can't believe you did. Is there way I can give you money or something, your videos are so so helpful.
@@everybodyhasabrain I'm confused and a tad freaked out, is everything I do to avoid anxiety, eating, walking, working watching telly, reading..where do I go from here
@@paulamurphy1007 it's very common that we've built the engine for life just around controlling and avoiding things we dislike and reactively trying to get other things. That was definitely the case for me. So building better mental health was all about building a new engine around values and building and creating things proactively that I want to see in the world.
@@everybodyhasabrain logically I know I’ve nothing to worry about, I’m not even getting the intrusive thoughts anymore but my body and brain keep going into alert mode just in case...I can’t think straight, clawing in my stomach, brain is fuzzy it’s the most awful feeling like my world is ending. It’s like a switch goes in my head. Have you heard of this before, I’m sick to my stomach with it. Sorry I know I keep reaching out. I just don’t know anymore. I’m trying to confront it every day but this very low feeling spaced feeling is very hard to cover up,when I’m in it, but when I feel normal and relaxed again my world is ok again. The knots in my stomach and the dread goes. How do I tackle going in and out of this state please, I’m so confused as to if I’m allowed tell myself that it will pass and I’ll be ok again.
thanx mark really helped :-)but I want to say 2things. 1)you told me tht stop giving reassurance to ur brain abt anxiety but watching this video will it be a reassurance? (cause I want desperately in need of "everything will be ok)" cause after ur suggestion not to reassure or find answer just hug the feeling by trying to c ur video or talking abt the pain will it be reassurance right?I am confused. 2)I almost started ignoring all my physical symptoms like irritation in the brain, getting scared of losing control, feeling uncomforble the whole day etc. I hope I am doing the right thing please help . anything tht I can add to heal well.?
1) It can be reassurance to watch videos if that's why you're watching them. 2) I find it's useful to keep the focus on what you want to do more of. Not reacting to symptoms is great but what do you want to do more of in your life? What do you want to spend your time and energy on? Building and creating those things can pull us forward to a better place.
Anxiety will often be triggered by things that have happened in the past. For all sorts of anxieties, whether it has its roots in abuse from another person, or a traumatic illness, something terrible that happened at work, an experience when we harmed somebody, an auto accident, war, etc, something I find helpful to keep in mind is that the anxiety is happening in the present. We're dealing with that traumatic experience now. We can take action now to empower ourselves and make changes in how our brains handle those experiences from the past that the brain brings into the present. If you're working with a therapist, there's probably going to be some work to do on exploring how to handle those past experiences, to make space for healing and change, but that is still going to happen in the present, with accepting feelings here, now, and making changes in actions now to show the brain that it's ok, we're handling things, caring for ourselves, building healthy relationships.
Mark Freeman thanks for the feedback, although it did not clearly answer my question. You talk about facing what causes anxiety and how to get over it. I was asking how to rid yourself of anxiety caused by physical abuse.
Clara Theresa That's what I was explaining. Sorry if that wasn't clear. Could you be a bit more specific about what the challenge is that you're running into?
I have found Somatic Experiencing helpful - if you've not heard of it, look up Peter Levine or Somatic Experiencing. It's a body focused therapy that helps the body respond to overwhelming situations experienced in the past. It complements OCD & anxiety recover well, but it's not CBT based.
Aaron Davis Around 0%. Recovery enabled me to workout. I exercised all of the time when I was at my sickest. The gym was just full of compulsions and I didn't exercise effectively. Since recovering, I do Olympic weightlifting lifts and all sorts of exercises I wouldn't do before because I was afraid of injury. I also eat much better, and that's because I cut out all of the compulsions I had around food. I've put on 25 lbs of muscle since getting over the mental health issues I struggled with. I would say exercise is a great way to learn skills that you can also apply to mental health work--learning how to stick to a plan, how to push into uncomfortable feelings, how to like those uncomfortable feelings, how to rest to get stronger, how to do things you don't think you can do
Mark Freeman That's awesome you've been able to get to the place you're at! I only ask because my main compulsion is ruminating over if I'm doing things correctly. I almost wonder if my obsessions have turned into a type of moral scrupolisty around recovery. Anyway, I'll take your advice and be careful about using exercise as a compulsion to escape my uncomfortable feelings of not doing therapy correctly. I just notice that when I'm active, I feel a bit better. The OCD is always in the background though. At least right now in my life.
That's a very common compulsion. OCD is about basic patterns of thinking and behaving. The particular topic isn't relevant. It helps to spot those patterns and break them. So if we're often in a pattern of trying to avoid and control bad things, or maybe a pattern of trying to get things to feel "right", it's very easy for the brain to get stuck on that with the fear of illness or relapse. The uncertainty about being stuck with OCD or uncertainty about relapse is a like any other uncertainty. If we react to it with compulsions, then we're actually choosing to throw ourselves back into the things we're afraid of. There's an interesting paradox with recovery from OCD: if you want to recover, you have to be ok with not recovering. The moment you begin reacting to the fear of relapse, you've already relapsed! Instead, it helps to keep the focus on building and creating things you want in your life. Physical fitness could be one of those things. It's very enjoyable and useful for its own sake, not because we need to use it to avoid or control something.
Mark Freeman Where my problem keeps coming in is around the exposure part of the whole thing. It sounds somewhat irrational to my rational self, but for exposures, therapists are asking you to make yourself anxious on purpose & then to sit there until habituation occurs, right? The hardest part right now is sitting with, as one item, my TV. You see, it used to be I couldn't watch TV because I'd constantly be checking to make sure the settings were right. Now, I can't watch TV because if they settings ARE just the way I like them, I'm doing ERP incorrectly because for an exposure my therapists had me set the settings to being off from how I liked them. Well now, they are back to how I like, BUT considering I never really habituated to the exposure of off settings, I've messed up the therapy. Same goes for a picture. If it's straight, that's doing therapy wrong because exposure had me make a picture crooked. Or academic work even. If I spend time proofreading my work, then that's automatically OCD. Or even worse, if I make a good grade on my work assignment, I need to go back and make flaws in that work assignment on purpose as exposure. I can see that this sounds somewhat silly, yet at the same time exposure asks you to do these slightly off/backwards things until they no longer bother you, so this is where I get stumped Everytime. I know I'm obsessed with therapy. The problem is that the "what ifs" actually have logical backing considering how exposures work.
What if you just quit smoking marijuana, after long heavy use, and you just quit. What do i do because when it comes time for bed ill get anxiety super bad and it will keep me up. If you could help that would be cool thanks :)
Such a hard pill to swallow.. Cause we all know how horrifying anxiety feels.
It is tough to learn how to experience anxiety but it's okay to be anxious and it is so useful to learn how to experience anxiety. The trick is to experience it. Trying to get rid of it will just end with a new set of compulsive behaviors. After years of doing something, it's inevitable that stopping it will cause you anxiety. But your brain changes. Exercise (especially running) helps brains change, as does eating a healthy, nutritious diet, and meditation. All three helped me a lot.
Thanks for the comment! It can take time for physical symptoms to lessen as your body catches up with your recovery. For the morning, I found it helpful to put sticky notes on my alarm clock to tell me what to do when I woke up. Following the notes instead of listening to your brain can help teach the rest of your body how you want it to act. Brains like to save energy, so when your brain sees you're not going to react to all of its complaining, it'll gradually learn to stop complaining.
I’m so sick with anxiety. It’s terrifying.
@@nikisawyers7559 A great time to change that relationship with it!
Hello Mark,Do you have a video on how to make notes in the morning for setting up day in a more healty way?thankyou for your videos and your optimistic empowering approach ..you are a source of hope!!
What I love the most about your videos is that you just do this to help people out. You don't just sell a program and say buy my program and it will cure you. You actually take your time to explain everything you know about anxiety disorders without asking for any money from it. Not even asking for likes and that just comes to show what kind of person you are. You are someone to admire and I'm going to start implementing the information you provide in your videos so it can help me with my GAD/Panic Disorder. Thanks again man keep up the good work :)
Thanks, José. I do make a fraction of a penny every time somebody watches a complete ad at the start of a video. So I'm not totally not making money. But I do think it is important to share these tools freely. The tough part is implementing them in our lives, so there's no reason to make it even more difficult just to find out about them. I wish you all the best as you tackle GAD/Panic Disorder!
Thanks! I see myself as recovered. I don't have any symptoms. But mental health is chronic, just like physical health--if I stopped taking care of either on a daily basis, I could easily develop an illness again, just like anybody. By the end of therapy, which was 6 months of ERP, there was a huge difference in symptoms, but I kept practicing on my own and would say it was 2 years before there were 0 symptoms. The brain takes time to change, especially after years of using it in unhealthy ways.
Thanks for watching! Maybe watch the False Memory video again. The point of that is there are no real or false memories--it's all just stuff in our heads that we attach arbitrary labels to and then react to. Pursuing the idea that there's a special feeling that means something is what's causing this problem. You're attaching that meaning. You could attach it to anything (or nothing). You can't be certain so trying to discriminate between real or false always leads to more anxiety.
Thank you mark, you've really helped me to get through my darkest times in light and see the light at the end of the tunnel, when I thought I was trapped in that tunnel. Thank you!!
You're welcome, Esther! I'm glad you've found them helpful on the journey :)
Thanks, Bruce. Becoming obsessed with the illness happens frequently. It can be helpful to channel that energy into healthier activities. All the best with your recovery!
Thanks for mentioning that! I find that cutting out a compulsion follows a pattern called The Uncertainty Curve. As soon as you start hugging anxiety, the anxiety goes up and up. For me, when I cut out a compulsion, I experience big spikes in anxiety and my brain tries to engage in all sorts of new OCD behaviors, peaking around 4 days later, and then it starts to decrease. It's different for everyone and useful to learn your pattern so you know it's coming and can prepare accordingly.
I really needed this today. I have made so much progress over the last 5 years, but today I felt like everything was crashing down again because I got a new job after not working for a while. I need to face this fear according to my values, and climb my way out of this hole. Really, thank you.
😁🙌
Thanks, Jessica! There is a "Brasil" note back there. Good eye! I was in Brazil last fall. That was a note to remind me to go to Brazil. When I got back I crossed it off. Sticky notes are useful for reminding us to do important things like pick up groceries, go to Brazil, make blog posts, etc.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ ❤️❤️ you really saved my life with your amazing videos
That's a great idea! I'm traveling lots for work right now but will be able to get back to a regular video making schedule in April. I'll do one then. OCD can pop up so quickly in relationships because they're so important to us.
"Anxiety will get really bored with all this hugging". Pure gold, and truth.
You're welcome. Merry Christmas to you, too!
I'll try to do something on "Pure-O" in the future. In the meantime, I'd definitely recommend getting your daughter in to see a CBT professional. Doing CBT for those types of compulsions will involve practicing how to relabel thoughts because it's the judgements and beliefs we attach to thoughts that cause the "torment". And it will also likely involve doing activities that spark those thoughts and then learning to just accept them and move on with her day to show her brain everything is fine.
Could you be a bit more specific? Is there something in particular you're wondering about? A specific symptom? Method of recovery?
THANK YOU MARK!!
You have some amazingly helpful tips like " Mental Indigestion " and I love the weed analogy and especially the flowers.
I diagnosed myself at age 33 last year after suffering my whole life.
I'm becoming obsessed with the illness itself now.
You might enjoy "Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker if you haven't already read it.
I'm obsessed with this book as well.
I have the audiobook and the paperback and listen to or read it everyday.
Thanks again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's great that you're seeing it's about OCD, not the "theme". I've got a video on that you can find on my channel. As for Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP), it isn't something you get told about. And you might not be doing it correctly if you're still having these problems. Doing ERP should involve an intensive program of progressive daily exercises over the course of several months. I'd recommend it (worked great for me) but do it with an expert--ie: not somebody who just talks about it.
I really love the work you're doing!
Sounds good. You might want to check out my videos on OCD themes, and the one on treating OCD like a weed. They both talk about how to tackle this idea that obsessions keep changing and how to see through those superficial changes at what's consistent beneath them.
Thanks!
When your mind races from A to Z to the end of the world whenever you experience anything it is indeed a freaky, annoying, and debilitating experience. You listed a bunch of things you've tried to get over this and it's great that you're trying things. But a lot of those things aren't proven methods for beating anxiety disorders. I'd suggest trying a behavioral therapy like Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or Exposure & Response Prevention. They worked for me.
I love your videos man. How long was from when you first began therapy to the time you were completely recovered. Or do you still see yourself as not fully recovered?
Thanks! I hope you're finding great, healthy ways to embrace anxiety.
great tips thank u
what about doubts, when doubt is so so strong, u know its so real, u feel so anxious with a strong urge to know if the doubt is real or not! is this urge going to be less with time, how long does it take to have less urges and less doubts.
I used to have germ anxiety, that went away with a lot of hard work and then I got very OCD about checking door etc, now that has gone away I have anxiety about my teeth. I am exhausted!! I am slowly learning it's not actually about the thing (eg my teeth), it's about my aniety. Anything you would recommend to help me here? Have seen someone about it a few years ago and basically just told me about exposure etc which I was already doing.
Is it just with me, or does anxiety try to attack me back with more anxiety and more tricky ocd the stronger I hug it?
4:00 what video is that?
Thank you for. Sharing the videos
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Thank you! I find your videos very helpful. I was wondering thoug how to deal/relieve the physical symptoms of anxiety. For me, I wake up in the morning, my stomach immediately starts turning, i get nauseous, itchy, shaky, and pretty much just end up feeling physically ill at the thought of getting out of bed. In that moment i see nno benifit in it at all, and feel like i would just rather die. What can i do to actually force myself to overcome this and not give in to it?
yeah i have school in 3 days. i’m super scared
Wow. Great thing to know! I always thought that whenever I peaked after trying to cut an ocd and anxiety, that I headed the wrong way! Thank u!!
Could you link the video again, please? :)
Wow I never really thought of it like that before. Another great vid!
I always think something is bad wrong with me and i can't stop thinking about it.
That’s the best advice I’ve ever heard
😁🙌
Hi Mark. I'm currently having really bad Anxiety about doing modifications to my car. I done my research and there eazy and safe modifications that I want done. However I feel Anxiety either way, whether its deciding to hold off meanwhile or to proceed and get the modifications done to my car. I get Anxiety either way. I'm stuck.
wow just found this video ..I needed this
I'll have a look at that video now. Thanks very much :)
Mark please make a vid about OCD and relationships . Please
Same for dealing with physical symptoms of anxiety?
Especially physical symptoms of anxiety. It helped me to approach it as uncomfortable feelings. The brain will throw up whatever uncomfortable feelings get us into compulsions. So it's not useful to differentiate between physical or mental. If you see physical symptoms as different, it just throws up lots of physical symptoms
hey mark i feel so anoxious and irritated and the overthinkg is worse
For me I have anxiety after I have recovered from OCD, but I don't know what I'm anxious about how do I go about this, can you give examples?
You might find it helpful to approach this all as mental health rather than seeing it as something separate from OCD (or seeing OCD as separate from anxiety). Building better mental health is all about accepting feelings we don't like and then doing things we value. That's how we get over the symptoms we usually label as OCD or as any anxiety disorder.
So true ❤️...
Hi Mark,
I understand you mention we shouldn't avoid anxiety, and we shouldn't give in to compulsion.
if I do not react or give in to compulsion, I will be keep having anxiety, how can I live a healthy and happy life with anxiety, should I just endure the anxiety and avoid doing the compulsion?
After I recognise the feeling that cause anxiety, what next?
How can I live a life with anxiety?
How to accept anxiety?
This is really helpful thankyou
You're welcome!
Hehe, as I've got OCD since the age of 19 (am 32 now), it's sometimes difficult to distinguish which negative feelings are OCD-related and which are just part of regular adulthood.
Some of my earliest memories are of spending weeks on compulsions, so it helped to see that it's not about judging and categorizing feelings. It's about how I interact with ANY feeling
Mark Freeman yes, as you've mentioned before one gets so good at doing compulsions that they become hard to quit. Like an addict chasing the feeling of the first fix and needing higher and higher doses to achieve an approximate feeling. Also compulsions get so complex and abstract that it's hard to let it go.
@@alr.3137 Is it useful to believe they're abstract and hard to let go?
Mark Freeman Hi Mark, I guess it's not a useful frame to have. I have been doing ERP for 2-3 months now but with me it's the "backdoor spike" that seems to get me all the time. Like, I accept all my fears and tell OCD "you're right, all of this is correct" but then OCD goes "no it's all fake, but i'll torture you with doubts and fears for eternity". So it's like as I'm slowly loosing my fear of specific things, my fear of OCD and "the idea of things" increases. Am I making sense?
@@alr.3137 Yes, are you doing ERP to cut out compulsions or doing ERP to get rid of fears and anxieties?
What are your thoughts on medication for anxiety ? For example ssris
Sean Potts There's lots of research showing that SSRIs are no more effective than a placebo. But placebos often "work". The important thing, however, is to not mistake relief from pain for solving the thing that caused the pain. If you're hitting yourself in the face with a baseball bat, you can take drugs to relieve the pain of that, but if you keep hitting yourself, even if you don't feel it, you're still doing damage and you haven't solved the problem that caused the pain.
Mark Freeman i completely agree im trying to come of but they wont let me to quicky i have come along way in the last year of years of suffering thanks for replying appreaciate it
Just keep on taking steps one-by-one and you'll get there!
What if the anxiety is about having the anxiety and being stuck in anxiety forever?
Same. The topic doesn't matter. You can swap in anything. That's just the bad thing we want to avoid and control. What matters is how we interact with the fear.
@@everybodyhasabrain so I need to invite the anxiety, look forward to the anxiety. I was trying to think how I can challenge it , build a hierarchy, maybe doing some silent meditations and build up the times because what I probably fear the most is my mind and being left alone with it. Would you have any other suggestions. I'm so thankful you responded, I can't believe you did. Is there way I can give you money or something, your videos are so so helpful.
@@everybodyhasabrain I'm confused and a tad freaked out, is everything I do to avoid anxiety, eating, walking, working watching telly, reading..where do I go from here
@@paulamurphy1007 it's very common that we've built the engine for life just around controlling and avoiding things we dislike and reactively trying to get other things. That was definitely the case for me. So building better mental health was all about building a new engine around values and building and creating things proactively that I want to see in the world.
@@everybodyhasabrain logically I know I’ve nothing to worry about, I’m not even getting the intrusive thoughts anymore but my body and brain keep going into alert mode just in case...I can’t think straight, clawing in my stomach, brain is fuzzy it’s the most awful feeling like my world is ending. It’s like a switch goes in my head. Have you heard of this before, I’m sick to my stomach with it. Sorry I know I keep reaching out. I just don’t know anymore. I’m trying to confront it every day but this very low feeling spaced feeling is very hard to cover up,when I’m in it, but when I feel normal and relaxed again my world is ok again. The knots in my stomach and the dread goes. How do I tackle going in and out of this state please, I’m so confused as to if I’m allowed tell myself that it will pass and I’ll be ok again.
Wow this is really great!
Do you think it's possible to get over ocd without therapy? As I'm trying so hard to do it on my own
@Mark Freeman what do you mean in your videos when you say "ACT ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES" can you explain in simple words
In the mornings, I make myself breakfast :)
@@everybodyhasabrain still don't get it
Can you use a broader example?
@@thatkashmirishop9889 I spend my time and energy on things that are important.
thanx mark really helped :-)but I want to say 2things. 1)you told me tht stop giving reassurance to ur brain abt anxiety but watching this video will it be a reassurance? (cause I want desperately in need of "everything will be ok)" cause after ur suggestion not to reassure or find answer just hug the feeling by trying to c ur video or talking abt the pain will it be reassurance right?I am confused. 2)I almost started ignoring all my physical symptoms like irritation in the brain, getting scared of losing control, feeling uncomforble the whole day etc. I hope I am doing the right thing please help . anything tht I can add to heal well.?
1) It can be reassurance to watch videos if that's why you're watching them. 2) I find it's useful to keep the focus on what you want to do more of. Not reacting to symptoms is great but what do you want to do more of in your life? What do you want to spend your time and energy on? Building and creating those things can pull us forward to a better place.
thanx a lot for being there :-)
are you familiar with derealization and depersonalization? can you make a video on how to make it go away
hope u don't smoke weed or withdrawals :)
Thanks a lot! I was experiencing the same due to fear of covid and i thought i am having a serious disease.
Just experiencing a human brain!
What about anxiety caused due to past physical abuse?
Anxiety will often be triggered by things that have happened in the past. For all sorts of anxieties, whether it has its roots in abuse from another person, or a traumatic illness, something terrible that happened at work, an experience when we harmed somebody, an auto accident, war, etc, something I find helpful to keep in mind is that the anxiety is happening in the present. We're dealing with that traumatic experience now. We can take action now to empower ourselves and make changes in how our brains handle those experiences from the past that the brain brings into the present. If you're working with a therapist, there's probably going to be some work to do on exploring how to handle those past experiences, to make space for healing and change, but that is still going to happen in the present, with accepting feelings here, now, and making changes in actions now to show the brain that it's ok, we're handling things, caring for ourselves, building healthy relationships.
Mark Freeman thanks for the feedback, although it did not clearly answer my question. You talk about facing what causes anxiety and how to get over it. I was asking how to rid yourself of anxiety caused by physical abuse.
Clara Theresa That's what I was explaining. Sorry if that wasn't clear. Could you be a bit more specific about what the challenge is that you're running into?
I have found Somatic Experiencing helpful - if you've not heard of it, look up Peter Levine or Somatic Experiencing. It's a body focused therapy that helps the body respond to overwhelming situations experienced in the past. It complements OCD & anxiety recover well, but it's not CBT based.
How much would you say physical exercise has been a contributing factor in your recovery?
Aaron Davis Around 0%. Recovery enabled me to workout. I exercised all of the time when I was at my sickest. The gym was just full of compulsions and I didn't exercise effectively. Since recovering, I do Olympic weightlifting lifts and all sorts of exercises I wouldn't do before because I was afraid of injury. I also eat much better, and that's because I cut out all of the compulsions I had around food. I've put on 25 lbs of muscle since getting over the mental health issues I struggled with. I would say exercise is a great way to learn skills that you can also apply to mental health work--learning how to stick to a plan, how to push into uncomfortable feelings, how to like those uncomfortable feelings, how to rest to get stronger, how to do things you don't think you can do
Mark Freeman That's awesome you've been able to get to the place you're at! I only ask because my main compulsion is ruminating over if I'm doing things correctly. I almost wonder if my obsessions have turned into a type of moral scrupolisty around recovery. Anyway, I'll take your advice and be careful about using exercise as a compulsion to escape my uncomfortable feelings of not doing therapy correctly. I just notice that when I'm active, I feel a bit better. The OCD is always in the background though. At least right now in my life.
That's a very common compulsion. OCD is about basic patterns of thinking and behaving. The particular topic isn't relevant. It helps to spot those patterns and break them. So if we're often in a pattern of trying to avoid and control bad things, or maybe a pattern of trying to get things to feel "right", it's very easy for the brain to get stuck on that with the fear of illness or relapse. The uncertainty about being stuck with OCD or uncertainty about relapse is a like any other uncertainty. If we react to it with compulsions, then we're actually choosing to throw ourselves back into the things we're afraid of. There's an interesting paradox with recovery from OCD: if you want to recover, you have to be ok with not recovering. The moment you begin reacting to the fear of relapse, you've already relapsed! Instead, it helps to keep the focus on building and creating things you want in your life. Physical fitness could be one of those things. It's very enjoyable and useful for its own sake, not because we need to use it to avoid or control something.
Mark Freeman Where my problem keeps coming in is around the exposure part of the whole thing. It sounds somewhat irrational to my rational self, but for exposures, therapists are asking you to make yourself anxious on purpose & then to sit there until habituation occurs, right? The hardest part right now is sitting with, as one item, my TV. You see, it used to be I couldn't watch TV because I'd constantly be checking to make sure the settings were right. Now, I can't watch TV because if they settings ARE just the way I like them, I'm doing ERP incorrectly because for an exposure my therapists had me set the settings to being off from how I liked them. Well now, they are back to how I like, BUT considering I never really habituated to the exposure of off settings, I've messed up the therapy. Same goes for a picture. If it's straight, that's doing therapy wrong because exposure had me make a picture crooked. Or academic work even. If I spend time proofreading my work, then that's automatically OCD. Or even worse, if I make a good grade on my work assignment, I need to go back and make flaws in that work assignment on purpose as exposure. I can see that this sounds somewhat silly, yet at the same time exposure asks you to do these slightly off/backwards things until they no longer bother you, so this is where I get stumped Everytime. I know I'm obsessed with therapy. The problem is that the "what ifs" actually have logical backing considering how exposures work.
Aaron Davis That's not how ERP works. Have you worked with an experienced therapist? Or followed a workbook or anything like that?
Whatsnthat
That’s a really helpful!
What if you just quit smoking marijuana, after long heavy use, and you just quit. What do i do because when it comes time for bed ill get anxiety super bad and it will keep me up. If you could help that would be cool thanks :)
How u doing now bro?!!
I'm 33 years old and have always had anxiety but never had it this bad before, I have no idea what's going on with me
It started off with horrible panic attacks a few months ago getting more and more frequent now I suffer with crippling anxiety everyday
Bro i have anxiety everyday at school and it just sucks especially at presentations, my life just sucks cuz of this sh