I lost my dad when I was 36 and lost my spouse last year. It takes strength and a lot of tears and time to get through heartache and I feel your pain. It took a move across my state of Texas and closer to my grandsons to help my heart find peace. I pray you find yours.
Completely understand... About a month ago, my father figure passed away and it has been a learning curve to adapt to a new lifestyle. However, everything I learned from him stays with me. And I'm forever grateful for having the opportunity to have met him in this life. To me death doesn't exist, It is just a transition to a better life... greater and more free. Your pain will fade away and you'll be stronger than before. There's no doubt about that! ❤🙏 Haven't written over a month either...
Dad always said not to cry cause he was just moving on to the next adventure. It’s a struggle, but just know you’re not alone though it feels like it. Grief has changed me…but deep down I’m still the same. It’s just all so strange. You’ve got this! When you’re ready, you’ll write again!
I lost both of my parents and my husband in the span of 30 months. You are right to get yourself back on track with a solid routine. But you also need to work in scheduled, regular self-care. For me, that was music, meditation, and a lot of journaling. Lean on your rock, but also discipline yourself to set aside your goals long enough to fully mourn your losses.
Finding your channel 2 years later & around the time this was posted was when I experienced my first family loss and a month later my pet. I’m sobbing like it happened yesterday. 😭 The grief never leaves. It’s proof of the love you shared. Hoping you’re doing well.
I am so sorry for your loss. It was two months ago, (May 26) my husband got really ill.. which led to a diagnosis of Stage 4 Metastatic Lung Cancer and we were given the prognosis of 6 months to a year. I understand the struggle of wanting to share... and like you 2021 has been worse than 2020. Sending big hugs to you.
I’m really sorry for your loss. As a person who lost both of their parents, trust me when I say the worst thing you can do is rush the grieving process. I did that and it eventually caught up with me and I fell into a deep dark depression. So please, take the time that you need. We will be here either way. Although we love your content, we care more about your emotional and mental health. Wishing you love and health ❤️.
As an only child who has lost at least one family member every 3-5 years for my whole life I second this motion of take care of yourself first. Your audience who aren’t willing to wait aren’t worth it compared to you and your family.
It’s great to see your face, even with the crying. You can make it through this challenging time and your dad is always with you. Sending you hugs and love.
I've been thinking a lot about you. I admire your motivation to keep writing so much. I recently lost my mom and I feel like I just stare at my laptop instead of forming words. My thoughts are with you, Courtney. I'm here for you if you need to talk. Those have been the best words I've heard through this time. ❤❤❤
Many hugs. I lost my father in 2000, sometimes I think I can smell his cologne, it makes me smile. It takes a long time to work through the grieving process. You will bounce back, it’ll be different normal, but you’ll get stronger. There is grieving groups and counselors if you need them. Each step forward is a step in the right direction. 2021 is 2020 with a wig on. Love ya, Miss Courtney
Courtney, I'm sorry to hear this. I can completely relate. Both my parents passed since last year. My mom passed in November and my dad followed her in March. I'm still not back to normal if I get to 2022 with another novel in the world tar will be an accomplishment.
@@TheCourtneyProject Yep. I love that you channel is both writing and life related. I talk about both on my channel too. And like you I was very relieved that I no longer had my corporate job, I have no idea how people manage.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing when my mother passed. ((hugs)) She was my biggest advocate in so many ways for my writing journey. You will find your way to a "new normal" (if there is such a thing). Take the time you need to grieve and heal.
Hi Courtney....My sincere condolences go out to you and your family. I was a daddy's girl and when my dad passed away, I honestly thought my whole world had ended. I thought I would let you know how much you are appreciated! I want you to know how much your channel has inspired me (and others) to write. I have enjoyed watching your videos and have learned more about the writing journey. I am close to publishing my children's book and have begun writing my next book. Only time can heal what you are experiencing and your audience is here to support you, as we laugh and cry with you. Take care! Gail
Just saw this. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent at a young age is devastating. My dad passed away last year. I'm the oldest of three kids and it fell on my shoulders to help my mom with all the paperwork. It's hard to process grief when facing these challenges and still having to go on. Cut yourself some slack if possible. Grieving is a process and some days you just need to let it all out. Take care of yourself too.
Just coming on here to say do you! I was grateful to have something to help me through loss as well- my final exams! It was a tribute to my loss to do well and remembrance! It is a one day at a time, hell, a one hour at a time, situation! That is all you can do! Sending you strength!
I am so sorry for your loss, Courtney. You have been on my mind for so long, but I could not have imagined that it would have been anything like this. Stay strong, and take as much time to grieve as you need to. Everyone grieves differently and it's okay if your 'normal' changes. I know that daddy is smiling down on you to see you are pushing through and continuing to be the backbone your family needs. Sending you a huge virtual hug. ❤️❤️❤️ Rest in Peace and Prosperity Dad ❤️❤️❤️
First of all, My deepest condolences go to you!! You are in my prayers!! I kind of figured this may be what you were going to say when I saw your thumbnail. I remembered your dad hadn't been doing well and you hadn't been on TH-cam in a while so to me that was an the easiest conclusion. I totally understand what you are going through. You will never "get over it", but you will learn to live with it. I have called 2010 my year from hell because my mom passed away in March, my granddad passed away in April (actually a month to the day after my mom died and my grandmother went into an assisted Living with dementia. The three people that raised me were gone in the blink of an eye. (My dad died 2 months before I was born.) I have been writing my entire life, but after she passed away I couldn't bring myself to be creative and write for the next seven years. It felt so cathartic and good to be back to it. My 2021 has been a dumpster fire as well. It started out with me being closed up in a hotel room with covid and then my uncle passed away in January and now my cousin (his daughter) passed away last week. We were very close, almost like sisters. We were three of us that were born June, July and August of the same year and this year we were going to celebrate our 40th birthdays. Her birthday is Aug 25, so she didn't even make her 40th birthday. I totally understand feeling like a totally different person. My life before my mom died feels like a totally different life. Keep strong. You will get through this, but don't feel guilty for taking some time for you. Grieving is process and it never really stops. March 20 of this year marked 11 years since my mom passed and I still randomly will burst into tears or wake up crying, because she had visited me in my dreams. Love you, Courtney!!
Hello my sweet sister. I really understand what you're going through. I lost my Dad several years ago, and my brother a few weeks before that. My mom is gone now too. I tell you this to let you know that I really do understand. Grief is a process and time helps. But let tell you this. You Dad is with you in spirit, a sent, a brush on your cheek, a still small voice in your ear. Your Dad had filled is contract for this lifetime. He has touched many souls; now it is time for his sweet soul to be reborn into sweet new life. The children being born now have special purpose. It will be in a new birth close to you. When you look in that child's eyes, you see your Dad there looking back at you and you will know.
This was beautiful 😍 I haven't lost my parents although they're up in age...but I have lost everyone else that has raised me and very close friends. Most of my family has died off, and it's a small family so when someone dies, it's major. But I like to think of them this way too. I just lost 2 uncles in 2 months and so now I just feel like I build a wall around my emotions without even trying and just keep going. Thank you for sharing this. Praying for you Courtney 🥺🤗❤️💞🥰
Courtney, I am so sorry about your dad. I lost my dad when I was a kid, but I don’t remember him very well. My mom, on the other hand, I’m very close to. She’s my biggest supporter when it comes to writing. I know I’ll be devastated if anything happens to her. I’m not one of those writers who can write when they’re depressed either. If I’m sad, I can’t even get in the right headspace to create a story. Return to writing when you are ready for it. You’ll eventually get back into your writing routine, and I’m sure you’ll make your dad proud. ((Hugs))
Hugs your way. Thanks for coming on, sharing, and showing up. I know it was hard. We are all glad to see you and our hearts are with you. I am sorry for all the sad and difficult times you’ve had.
Courtney, My name is Mark Randall Stevens. I am a writer of short stories and novels. What you have done here is amazing and I applaud your bravery for doing it in this public forum. I can honestly say that until I saw this I would not do the same. I am 59 and my family has all passed. My mother, father, little brother and big sister, those that I grew up with and loved have moved on. All extended family have passed as well. No tears, please. I had begun the second novel of my current series a year and a half ago when I was informed that my brother in law od some forty years had cancer and then died. Shortly thereafter his wife, my sister went into hospice where I took care of her in our family home until she died, leaving me the last of the dinosaurs. It took months to right the estate during which time, beyond the estate, beyond my loss of all family, I found it extermely difficult to write. One day, when all the attorneys and bill collectors were gone, I picked up the pen once again. I found both solace and reason when I began again to write. I have since completed two novels and am working diligently on a third. Although there are tears of the ghosts of my family at every turn, I continue to write, giving me a reason to get up each day. Thank you so much for your bravery to share your soul with me. Mark Randall Stevens
I'm really really sorry for your loss. I completely understand the pain your going through...I lost my aunt, my godmother on 2019, while I was writing my 2nd novel. It was a struggle, everytime I sat down in front of the computer I cried, I tried to force myself to write and it was awful. You need time to heal and I hope you find your peace...it might take a long while, but know that you have us to talk to. Hugs to you and your family.
I got the same call from my sister but in order to see my dad i had to fly across the world. I quit my job and was able to spend 8 days with my dad before he passed. It’s been 4 years now but the pain is still the same. It doesn’t get better you just learn to live with it. Day by day ❤️
When my mother passed it was the hardest thing. I felt like no one had ever talked about it or prepared me, and then I started finding out that (of course) it had already happened to so many people. It felt like joining the world's worst ever secret club. Thank you for talking about this in public, Courtney. You are a blessing.
Thank you! And omg yes, it does feel like that. The worst secret club ever and the password is overbearing grief. Sorry to hear that you lost your mom, I hope things have gotten better for you. ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. Death of a parent is never easy, and it’s very brave of you to be vulnerable and share your grief. I promise there will come a day when memories of your father will bring a smile to your face instead of tears to your eyes. Until then you just need to deal with each day as it comes and be kind to yourself-ask for help when you need it. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, Courtney - please be gentle with yourself and know there are so many people around the world who care. Sending lots of love and hugs to you and your family during this time ❤️ P.S. Van life with Courtney and DeepSkyDude? Hell yes!!!
Courtney, my heart goes out to you. It’s going to be rough. It’s going to be a rough year and that’s okay. Take your time. My dad passed away a few years ago from sudden cancer at the end of my freshman year of college. Within 3 months he was gone. He died at the beginning of June and my birthday is at the end of June. Needless to say, I didn’t celebrate my birthday for two years. Because I was heavily grieving during those first few years, I sometimes forget how old I am because his death date is so tied to my birthday.
I COMPLETELY understand the drive to fulfill promises to your dad in his wake. Do you what you gotta to heal (not that you'll ever forget), and we'll be there for you when you can come back.
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know where you are. I lost my dad in my thirties. I lost my mom a couple of years ago. Things do get back to normal with time. Everyone grieves differently. I can not tell you when it will happen, but it will happen. I will be glad to help in anyway that I can. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
I cried with you but that's fine. We need to accept all our emotions, even the difficult ones. Then we take a breath and move forward. My Dad died in Dec 2019 but watching him slowly suffer from the cancer for the 9 months before was even harder. My son has been seriously ill for the last 18 months. I would love a new normal but still doing the barely hanging on thing some days. Thank you for keeping it real with us. I hope you can keep your goals flexible and focus on the ones that really matter for now and still get there with the rest later.
My 2021 has been just as complicated. Losing my grandad on 28.4 and my epilepsy diagnosis kicking off and losing my hamster, while in a global pandemic.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart, prayers and thoughts are going out to you right now - across all the oceans and countries. Take your time to heal 💕💕
i'm so sorry for your loss, but i'm happy you're allowing yourself to grieve. it sounds like you had a beautiful relationship with your father so don't feel bad about not putting out content. thank you for sharing this with us and i hope things continue to get better for you!
Thank you for sharing; we feel your pain. May your Dad rest in peace. Take your time, grieve at your own pace, your "normal" will return, enhanced by the wonderful memories of your Dad.
I am so sorry for your loss and I'll send a prayer or two for your continued healing in your grieving process and that the rest of the year is only to go up.
Courtney I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm sending you lots of love and virtual hugs and I will keep you and your entire family in my prayers. You are such a blessing to so many and hopefully you can feel the love that we all have for you. Please take care of yourself and allow others to take care of you as well. ❤❤❤
Sincerest condolences. Watching you cry made me want to cry as well. Though I know these words will not help and that nothing possibly could, Your father knows how much that you love him and is very fortunate to have had you in his life. Know very much how much you miss him. The worst news anybody could have gotten is to lose a parent. It unsettles me further that you had to Get this information directly after a live. Is to be having a good time and then get utterly crushed the next minute is unbelievable. So again I offered sincere condolences.
Ohh I’m so saddened to hear about your Dad 😢 It’s not easy to deal with the death of a parent. At any age. My Dad died when I was 16 and it was devastating. It took quite some time before I was able to function at a level like I did before.. you will have good days and you will have really shit days where you can’t function.. Let yourself do what you need to do. If you need to spend the day under a blanket doing nothing, do it! Take care of yourself. When I returned to school after my Dad died I was like a zombie. I couldn’t focus.. My Mum took me back out of school and we went on a trip for a week. Just being able to get away from our home and spend time together away from everyday life was just what I needed. It’s been 26 years since he died and there are still times when I get a little teary but mostly I can think about and talk about him with love and laughter ❤️
I am so so sorry for your loss. Take your time but also sometimes telling someone else’s stories is a nice distraction. Good luck with everything that you’re doing and I’m here for you. 😘😘😘 thinking of you during this difficult time
I'm so sorry. You take care of you. I unfortunately, can relate. It's hard to watch your pain. You're authentic, raw and real and that's why I love your channel. Hugs
Compassion cry here. Yep you called me out. So sorry for your loss. I hear it gets better. Just one day at a time (and a shot of tequila as needed). Sending good thoughts.
I’m sorry for your loss. Do what you need to do to grief and heal (whichever way is best for you). I’m sure we will be here to offer comfort and to cheer you on. I feel you when you talked a little about your mom cause I’m in a similar spot. Sending you lots of hugs and good energy. I’m sure the universe has your back.
Sorry for all the comments on your old videos. I have never related to someone more in my life. My daddy passed away in May. I hate that the world expects you to just move on like your life wasn't completely shattered. I am struggling to get back to normal, and I'm questioning so many things in life. The one thing I have realized is that I really want to make writing a goal for myself. My father passed away with so many regrets, and I don't want to regret not trying to make this a full time job for me. I find you inspiring in helping me to see that it is possible.
I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless you for being so brave and pushing yourself to do what you know you needed to do. That is always so hard, and not everyone could/should do that, but if you know it's what you need, then it has to be done and you'll come out stronger on the other side. Sending lots of love and prayers your way. ❤️
Very sorry to hear this Courtney. I think your dad would appreciate how much you loved him and I’m sorry for this happening. Take your time healing and don’t worry about coming back fast or anything. We’ll be here
I have two large families on both sides, and since 2013 I have had a family member die every year. In 2018 and 2019 I lost all 3 of my grandfathers. Ironically, 2020 was one of the better years, because no one in my family died. But sure enough, 2021 picked up where 2019 left off. Life is HARD. People are here for a short time. Writing is my haven. I couldn't get through all of it without my characters and the worlds I create. I'm so sorry you went through this, but I'm so glad that you have such loving support. The year after a significant loss is the hardest. Sending you love through the internet ether.
I’m heartbroken for you. Please take all the time you need to grieve and work through your loss. Sending you all the positivity, good vibes and all the love. 💜💯
I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and let the tears come. After losing my best friend from cancer, it felt like it changed not only my world but me as a person. I felt numb and detached, and as time went on, I knew she was around me and still rooting for me, but just in a different way...and that is what comforts me now. I wish the same for you. 💌
I'm so sorry to hear about your father, Courtney. I lost both my parents in the last few years. It's very hard. You are loved and supported! Grief takes time :)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Last year, I lost the aunt and uncle I loved as my parents to COVID within 3 months from each other. It was awful and I miss them so much... but it has gotten better. So I can say that it will get better for you, too. Writing helped me a lot. Keep going helped me keep going. I hope it will help you, too. I'm sending you love and good vibes. Please, be kind to yourself. ❤
I lost my uncle 7 months ago to suicide. I finally stopped crying every day but i still cry. Its okay to grieve. Thank you for updating us, but you should know you dont owe us anything! Anyone who says you do can F off. I would really enjoy personal vlogs on here. Less channel hopping for me and im here for you! The writing tips is just bonus. Your videos make me feel like i actually have a friend. Even if you dont know me. Hahaha.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Courtney. You're so brave to have made this video. I respect the strength it must take to show yourself being vulnerable. Hang in there and be kind to yourself, lady.
So sorry to hear about your father. I lost my mom when I was 12 and my mother in law last year right before Covid hit. Losing a parent really does change your world and it takes time to find your footing again. Take care of yourself and do what you have to do to heal.
Courtney, I'm so sorry about your dad. I can completely relate as I lost my dad in 2014. All I can say is, you have an amazing support system, don't be afraid to come to us and lean on us when you need to. Your new normal will happen, just give it time.
I‘m so sorry to hear what had happend in your life. Take your time an do wathever feels right for you! And don’t think about your tears - you are still a strong woman! And I wish you and your family the best!
Grief really does change you, it changes your perspective on everything. September will be 3 years since my mom passed and it feels like such a fever dream. Please feed yourself! That's the only obligation you have. Nora McInerny has an amazing podcast called 'Terrible, Thanks For Asking' along with 3 books on grief, they've helped me immensely. You are not alone!
I just wanted to say that I came for the writing advice (which is amazing), but I stayed for Courtney. You are an awesome person and I love you and how genuine you are with us. I know this is probably the hardest video you've ever had to make, but thank you for sharing it with us. I'll be keeping good thoughts and sending love to you.
I have thought about you and how you are doing I am glad you are still going. I hope that you have a clear rest of the year. Also regarding wanting to find your old normal again I would say don't look for the old keep looking forward and find a new good healthy normal that will help carry you forward in life. 🤗💜
I wish I could give you a hug. I lost my mom when I was 35, and there is nothing that can prepare you for it. There re so many things I would like to say, but the comment section isn't the place for it. ❤️ But I will say that I am new to your channel, (found t during NaNo) and I think that your livestreams are an important part of what you have to offer your subscribers. The live sprints are SO useful to me, and I'm sure to many others as well. You are SO right that pain and loss changes you. It grows you. It unlocks new things inside you. You will always be more able to understand the loss of others now. And you will be able to write about loss in a more authentic way.
Courtney, my heart is breaking for you! I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my stepdad who was like my father three years ago and I still find myself crying over missing him. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. I admire you so much and hate to see you so upset :( I wish there was more I could do! Take your time with all the stuff you have going on, we all understand! We’re here for you ((hugs))
Courtney, I have missed you so much! I'm glad you are doing alright, minus the fact you are grieving over the lose of your dad. The whole thing with Van - I have found doing physical hard work does help the mind. Here's some tough love: Yeah, while everyone's grieving process is different, it is time to pick yourself up and start climbing that mountain. You are stronger then yesterday and you will be stronger tomorrow. You are getting stronger each day you get out of bed and face the day. Remember that. You are Strong. Yes, you will come across something that will remind you of your dad and you will breakdown, but it is apart of the healing process. You will just have to accept that and be happy with the memories you have with your dad. Those will last for the rest of your life. Anyway, I can't wait to see you again on TH-cam. Keep your chin up!
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to be vulnerable enough to share with us. I can’t imagine how hard it is to find motivation through this kind of grief and the family responsibilities that come with it. Your strength and resilience is really remarkable. 💕
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister in September and it's just in the last few weeks that I've felt like I'm regaining some kind of routine and normal.
so much love !! good luck finding your normal and moving forward 💕 but truly you don’t owe us anything, we’re just thankful you have opened up parts of yourself to us.
I'm very sorry for your loss, but it's tough to watch you be so hard on yourself. Your problems 2 years ago were real problems, what you're dealing with now is just on a different level. Please be kind to yourself, you need that now more than ever.
Although I am happy to see you, if you need more time, we can wait. Again I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad when I was 36 and lost my spouse last year. It takes strength and a lot of tears and time to get through heartache and I feel your pain. It took a move across my state of Texas and closer to my grandsons to help my heart find peace. I pray you find yours.
Completely understand...
About a month ago, my father figure passed away and it has been a learning curve to adapt to a new lifestyle. However, everything I learned from him stays with me. And I'm forever grateful for having the opportunity to have met him in this life.
To me death doesn't exist, It is just a transition to a better life... greater and more free. Your pain will fade away and you'll be stronger than before. There's no doubt about that! ❤🙏
Haven't written over a month either...
Dad always said not to cry cause he was just moving on to the next adventure. It’s a struggle, but just know you’re not alone though it feels like it. Grief has changed me…but deep down I’m still the same. It’s just all so strange.
You’ve got this! When you’re ready, you’ll write again!
@@TheCourtneyProject We can do this... is part of nature indeed. It should be a beautiful process as birth itself.
Best wishes for you too! 😉
I lost both of my parents and my husband in the span of 30 months. You are right to get yourself back on track with a solid routine. But you also need to work in scheduled, regular self-care. For me, that was music, meditation, and a lot of journaling. Lean on your rock, but also discipline yourself to set aside your goals long enough to fully mourn your losses.
Finding your channel 2 years later & around the time this was posted was when I experienced my first family loss and a month later my pet. I’m sobbing like it happened yesterday. 😭
The grief never leaves. It’s proof of the love you shared. Hoping you’re doing well.
I am so sorry for your loss. It was two months ago, (May 26) my husband got really ill.. which led to a diagnosis of Stage 4 Metastatic Lung Cancer and we were given the prognosis of 6 months to a year. I understand the struggle of wanting to share... and like you 2021 has been worse than 2020. Sending big hugs to you.
I’m really sorry for your loss. As a person who lost both of their parents, trust me when I say the worst thing you can do is rush the grieving process. I did that and it eventually caught up with me and I fell into a deep dark depression. So please, take the time that you need. We will be here either way. Although we love your content, we care more about your emotional and mental health. Wishing you love and health ❤️.
Thank you so much, Jana. Sorry to hear about your parents. Hugs. ❤️
As an only child who has lost at least one family member every 3-5 years for my whole life I second this motion of take care of yourself first. Your audience who aren’t willing to wait aren’t worth it compared to you and your family.
@@rebeccahoughton3508 ❤️
It’s great to see your face, even with the crying. You can make it through this challenging time and your dad is always with you. Sending you hugs and love.
I've been thinking a lot about you. I admire your motivation to keep writing so much. I recently lost my mom and I feel like I just stare at my laptop instead of forming words.
My thoughts are with you, Courtney. I'm here for you if you need to talk. Those have been the best words I've heard through this time. ❤❤❤
Thank you, Desiree. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@Jennwritesromance I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, Jenna. Sending love your way. It’s not easy. Just gotta take it one day at a time. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Many hugs. I lost my father in 2000, sometimes I think I can smell his cologne, it makes me smile. It takes a long time to work through the grieving process. You will bounce back, it’ll be different normal, but you’ll get stronger. There is grieving groups and counselors if you need them. Each step forward is a step in the right direction. 2021 is 2020 with a wig on. Love ya, Miss Courtney
Courtney, I'm sorry to hear this. I can completely relate. Both my parents passed since last year. My mom passed in November and my dad followed her in March. I'm still not back to normal if I get to 2022 with another novel in the world tar will be an accomplishment.
I’m so sorry to hear this, Tina. Sending love your way. We can only go up from here, right? ❤️❤️
@@TheCourtneyProject Yep. I love that you channel is both writing and life related. I talk about both on my channel too. And like you I was very relieved that I no longer had my corporate job, I have no idea how people manage.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing when my mother passed. ((hugs)) She was my biggest advocate in so many ways for my writing journey. You will find your way to a "new normal" (if there is such a thing). Take the time you need to grieve and heal.
Hi Courtney....My sincere condolences go out to you and your family. I was a daddy's girl and when my dad passed away, I honestly thought my whole world had ended. I thought I would let you know how much you are appreciated! I want you to know how much your channel has inspired me (and others) to write. I have enjoyed watching your videos and have learned more about the writing journey. I am close to publishing my children's book and have begun writing my next book. Only time can heal what you are experiencing and your audience is here to support you, as we laugh and cry with you. Take care! Gail
Just saw this. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent at a young age is devastating. My dad passed away last year. I'm the oldest of three kids and it fell on my shoulders to help my mom with all the paperwork. It's hard to process grief when facing these challenges and still having to go on. Cut yourself some slack if possible. Grieving is a process and some days you just need to let it all out. Take care of yourself too.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Just coming on here to say do you! I was grateful to have something to help me through loss as well- my final exams! It was a tribute to my loss to do well and remembrance! It is a one day at a time, hell, a one hour at a time, situation! That is all you can do! Sending you strength!
I am so sorry for your loss, Courtney. You have been on my mind for so long, but I could not have imagined that it would have been anything like this. Stay strong, and take as much time to grieve as you need to. Everyone grieves differently and it's okay if your 'normal' changes. I know that daddy is smiling down on you to see you are pushing through and continuing to be the backbone your family needs. Sending you a huge virtual hug. ❤️❤️❤️ Rest in Peace and Prosperity Dad ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in January, and I feel a lot of the same way you do. Navigating loss and grief is difficult.
First of all, My deepest condolences go to you!! You are in my prayers!! I kind of figured this may be what you were going to say when I saw your thumbnail. I remembered your dad hadn't been doing well and you hadn't been on TH-cam in a while so to me that was an the easiest conclusion. I totally understand what you are going through. You will never "get over it", but you will learn to live with it. I have called 2010 my year from hell because my mom passed away in March, my granddad passed away in April (actually a month to the day after my mom died and my grandmother went into an assisted Living with dementia. The three people that raised me were gone in the blink of an eye. (My dad died 2 months before I was born.) I have been writing my entire life, but after she passed away I couldn't bring myself to be creative and write for the next seven years. It felt so cathartic and good to be back to it. My 2021 has been a dumpster fire as well. It started out with me being closed up in a hotel room with covid and then my uncle passed away in January and now my cousin (his daughter) passed away last week. We were very close, almost like sisters. We were three of us that were born June, July and August of the same year and this year we were going to celebrate our 40th birthdays. Her birthday is Aug 25, so she didn't even make her 40th birthday. I totally understand feeling like a totally different person. My life before my mom died feels like a totally different life. Keep strong. You will get through this, but don't feel guilty for taking some time for you. Grieving is process and it never really stops. March 20 of this year marked 11 years since my mom passed and I still randomly will burst into tears or wake up crying, because she had visited me in my dreams. Love you, Courtney!!
Hello my sweet sister. I really understand what you're going through. I lost my Dad several years ago, and my brother a few weeks before that. My mom is gone now too.
I tell you this to let you know that I really do understand.
Grief is a process and time helps. But let tell you this. You Dad is with you in spirit, a sent, a brush on your cheek, a still small voice in your ear.
Your Dad had filled is contract for this lifetime. He has touched many souls; now it is time for his sweet soul to be reborn into sweet new life. The children being born now have special purpose. It will be in a new birth close to you. When you look in that child's eyes, you see your Dad there looking back at you and you will know.
This was beautiful 😍 I haven't lost my parents although they're up in age...but I have lost everyone else that has raised me and very close friends. Most of my family has died off, and it's a small family so when someone dies, it's major. But I like to think of them this way too. I just lost 2 uncles in 2 months and so now I just feel like I build a wall around my emotions without even trying and just keep going. Thank you for sharing this.
Praying for you Courtney 🥺🤗❤️💞🥰
Courtney, I am so sorry about your dad. I lost my dad when I was a kid, but I don’t remember him very well. My mom, on the other hand, I’m very close to. She’s my biggest supporter when it comes to writing. I know I’ll be devastated if anything happens to her. I’m not one of those writers who can write when they’re depressed either. If I’m sad, I can’t even get in the right headspace to create a story. Return to writing when you are ready for it. You’ll eventually get back into your writing routine, and I’m sure you’ll make your dad proud. ((Hugs))
Hugs your way. Thanks for coming on, sharing, and showing up. I know it was hard. We are all glad to see you and our hearts are with you. I am sorry for all the sad and difficult times you’ve had.
I lost my dad a few years ago. I get it. Sending you strength and gentle healing. ❤
Courtney,
My name is Mark Randall Stevens. I am a writer of short stories and novels. What you have done here is amazing and I applaud your bravery for doing it in this public forum. I can honestly say that until I saw this I would not do the same. I am 59 and my family has all passed. My mother, father, little brother and big sister, those that I grew up with and loved have moved on. All extended family have passed as well. No tears, please.
I had begun the second novel of my current series a year and a half ago when I was informed that my brother in law od some forty years had cancer and then died. Shortly thereafter his wife, my sister went into hospice where I took care of her in our family home until she died, leaving me the last of the dinosaurs.
It took months to right the estate during which time, beyond the estate, beyond my loss of all family, I found it extermely difficult to write.
One day, when all the attorneys and bill collectors were gone, I picked up the pen once again. I found both solace and reason when I began again to write. I have since completed two novels and am working diligently on a third.
Although there are tears of the ghosts of my family at every turn, I continue to write, giving me a reason to get up each day.
Thank you so much for your bravery to share your soul with me.
Mark Randall Stevens
I'm really really sorry for your loss. I completely understand the pain your going through...I lost my aunt, my godmother on 2019, while I was writing my 2nd novel. It was a struggle, everytime I sat down in front of the computer I cried, I tried to force myself to write and it was awful. You need time to heal and I hope you find your peace...it might take a long while, but know that you have us to talk to.
Hugs to you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am sure that your father is looking down from above and is very proud of you.
I got the same call from my sister but in order to see my dad i had to fly across the world. I quit my job and was able to spend 8 days with my dad before he passed. It’s been 4 years now but the pain is still the same. It doesn’t get better you just learn to live with it. Day by day ❤️
When my mother passed it was the hardest thing. I felt like no one had ever talked about it or prepared me, and then I started finding out that (of course) it had already happened to so many people. It felt like joining the world's worst ever secret club. Thank you for talking about this in public, Courtney. You are a blessing.
Thank you! And omg yes, it does feel like that. The worst secret club ever and the password is overbearing grief. Sorry to hear that you lost your mom, I hope things have gotten better for you. ❤️
You’ve been missed and have been in my thoughts. Of course I don’t know you, but I wish you the best! 🥰🥰
Atta girl. Sometimes you just have to put your head down and get through it one day at a time. Hang in there. ❤️🩹 We’re in your corner!
"Compassion criers" !! It's all okay, you're trying so hard, we see it, we see you, and you can do ANYthing! 💗💕
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Love and prayers for you as you work your way though these difficult times.🙏❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. Death of a parent is never easy, and it’s very brave of you to be vulnerable and share your grief. I promise there will come a day when memories of your father will bring a smile to your face instead of tears to your eyes. Until then you just need to deal with each day as it comes and be kind to yourself-ask for help when you need it. ❤️
Sorry to hear about the passing of your father. There is no way to know your pain. Thank you for sharing.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs & love...We all love and support you!
Hugs, Courtney! You expressed it so well. It was helpful for me to cry with you.
Aww, much love to you! 😘
I'm so sorry for your loss, Courtney - please be gentle with yourself and know there are so many people around the world who care. Sending lots of love and hugs to you and your family during this time ❤️ P.S. Van life with Courtney and DeepSkyDude? Hell yes!!!
My deepest condolences. Sorry for your loss. May God be with you
Courtney, my heart goes out to you. It’s going to be rough. It’s going to be a rough year and that’s okay. Take your time. My dad passed away a few years ago from sudden cancer at the end of my freshman year of college. Within 3 months he was gone. He died at the beginning of June and my birthday is at the end of June. Needless to say, I didn’t celebrate my birthday for two years. Because I was heavily grieving during those first few years, I sometimes forget how old I am because his death date is so tied to my birthday.
Hugs sweetie! Thank you for sharing us writers sometimes need to let the real us out.
So sorry for your loss, may the Lord strengthen and comfort you during this time.
I wondered why I hadn't seen any new videos lately. So sorry to hear about your dad. Big hugs and best wishes.
I COMPLETELY understand the drive to fulfill promises to your dad in his wake. Do you what you gotta to heal (not that you'll ever forget), and we'll be there for you when you can come back.
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know where you are. I lost my dad in my thirties. I lost my mom a couple of years ago. Things do get back to normal with time. Everyone grieves differently. I can not tell you when it will happen, but it will happen. I will be glad to help in anyway that I can. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
I cried with you but that's fine. We need to accept all our emotions, even the difficult ones. Then we take a breath and move forward. My Dad died in Dec 2019 but watching him slowly suffer from the cancer for the 9 months before was even harder. My son has been seriously ill for the last 18 months. I would love a new normal but still doing the barely hanging on thing some days.
Thank you for keeping it real with us. I hope you can keep your goals flexible and focus on the ones that really matter for now and still get there with the rest later.
I hope things get better for you as well. Thanks for sharing with me! ❤️
Big hugs to Courtney and I’m so sorry for your loss xx
My 2021 has been just as complicated. Losing my grandad on 28.4 and my epilepsy diagnosis kicking off and losing my hamster, while in a global pandemic.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart, prayers and thoughts are going out to you right now - across all the oceans and countries. Take your time to heal 💕💕
i'm so sorry for your loss, but i'm happy you're allowing yourself to grieve. it sounds like you had a beautiful relationship with your father so don't feel bad about not putting out content. thank you for sharing this with us and i hope things continue to get better for you!
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and love, hon.
Thank you for this video, and no need to apologize for the compassion crying thing.♡ Hang in there, and I'm really sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is good see you again, Courtney.
Very sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself and best of luck with your goals.
Thank you! ❤️ I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing; we feel your pain. May your Dad rest in peace. Take your time, grieve at your own pace, your "normal" will return, enhanced by the wonderful memories of your Dad.
I am so sorry for your loss and I'll send a prayer or two for your continued healing in your grieving process and that the rest of the year is only to go up.
Courtney I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm sending you lots of love and virtual hugs and I will keep you and your entire family in my prayers. You are such a blessing to so many and hopefully you can feel the love that we all have for you. Please take care of yourself and allow others to take care of you as well. ❤❤❤
So sorry for your loss! You do so much for others; don't forget to take care of yourself!
Sincerest condolences. Watching you cry made me want to cry as well. Though I know these words will not help and that nothing possibly could, Your father knows how much that you love him and is very fortunate to have had you in his life. Know very much how much you miss him. The worst news anybody could have gotten is to lose a parent. It unsettles me further that you had to Get this information directly after a live. Is to be having a good time and then get utterly crushed the next minute is unbelievable. So again I offered sincere condolences.
Ohh I’m so saddened to hear about your Dad 😢 It’s not easy to deal with the death of a parent. At any age.
My Dad died when I was 16 and it was devastating. It took quite some time before I was able to function at a level like I did before.. you will have good days and you will have really shit days where you can’t function.. Let yourself do what you need to do. If you need to spend the day under a blanket doing nothing, do it! Take care of yourself.
When I returned to school after my Dad died I was like a zombie. I couldn’t focus.. My Mum took me back out of school and we went on a trip for a week. Just being able to get away from our home and spend time together away from everyday life was just what I needed.
It’s been 26 years since he died and there are still times when I get a little teary but mostly I can think about and talk about him with love and laughter ❤️
I am so so sorry for your loss. Take your time but also sometimes telling someone else’s stories is a nice distraction. Good luck with everything that you’re doing and I’m here for you. 😘😘😘 thinking of you during this difficult time
I'm so sorry. You take care of you. I unfortunately, can relate. It's hard to watch your pain. You're authentic, raw and real and that's why I love your channel. Hugs
My condolences to you and your family. Praying for you guys.
I'm truly so sorry for your loss! I wish there were words to say that would help. Your good heart is also strong.
Compassion cry here. Yep you called me out. So sorry for your loss. I hear it gets better. Just one day at a time (and a shot of tequila as needed). Sending good thoughts.
Stay strong 💪🏻 we support you no matter what ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss. Do what you need to do to grief and heal (whichever way is best for you). I’m sure we will be here to offer comfort and to cheer you on.
I feel you when you talked a little about your mom cause I’m in a similar spot. Sending you lots of hugs and good energy. I’m sure the universe has your back.
I lost my grandmother about the same time. It’s been challenging. Sending you the best.
I’d love a travel vlog /van build channel from you. You really are my goals. Self publishing and van life is where I want to be.
Sorry for all the comments on your old videos. I have never related to someone more in my life. My daddy passed away in May. I hate that the world expects you to just move on like your life wasn't completely shattered. I am struggling to get back to normal, and I'm questioning so many things in life. The one thing I have realized is that I really want to make writing a goal for myself. My father passed away with so many regrets, and I don't want to regret not trying to make this a full time job for me. I find you inspiring in helping me to see that it is possible.
I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless you for being so brave and pushing yourself to do what you know you needed to do. That is always so hard, and not everyone could/should do that, but if you know it's what you need, then it has to be done and you'll come out stronger on the other side. Sending lots of love and prayers your way. ❤️
Very sorry to hear this Courtney. I think your dad would appreciate how much you loved him and I’m sorry for this happening. Take your time healing and don’t worry about coming back fast or anything. We’ll be here
So sorry for your loss. Sending love!
I have two large families on both sides, and since 2013 I have had a family member die every year. In 2018 and 2019 I lost all 3 of my grandfathers. Ironically, 2020 was one of the better years, because no one in my family died. But sure enough, 2021 picked up where 2019 left off. Life is HARD. People are here for a short time. Writing is my haven. I couldn't get through all of it without my characters and the worlds I create. I'm so sorry you went through this, but I'm so glad that you have such loving support. The year after a significant loss is the hardest. Sending you love through the internet ether.
I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this too. ❤️❤️ I hope 2022 is better for us all.
Best of luck to you and my condolences.
I’m heartbroken for you. Please take all the time you need to grieve and work through your loss. Sending you all the positivity, good vibes and all the love. 💜💯
I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and let the tears come. After losing my best friend from cancer, it felt like it changed not only my world but me as a person. I felt numb and detached, and as time went on, I knew she was around me and still rooting for me, but just in a different way...and that is what comforts me now. I wish the same for you. 💌
Thank you so much. I’m so sorry to hear you lost your best friend. ❤️❤️
I'm so sorry to hear about your father, Courtney. I lost both my parents in the last few years. It's very hard. You are loved and supported! Grief takes time :)
Thank you, Shari. Im so sorry. I can’t imagine how that must’ve felt for you. Sending hugs.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Last year, I lost the aunt and uncle I loved as my parents to COVID within 3 months from each other. It was awful and I miss them so much... but it has gotten better. So I can say that it will get better for you, too. Writing helped me a lot. Keep going helped me keep going. I hope it will help you, too. I'm sending you love and good vibes. Please, be kind to yourself. ❤
I lost my uncle 7 months ago to suicide. I finally stopped crying every day but i still cry. Its okay to grieve. Thank you for updating us, but you should know you dont owe us anything! Anyone who says you do can F off.
I would really enjoy personal vlogs on here. Less channel hopping for me and im here for you! The writing tips is just bonus. Your videos make me feel like i actually have a friend. Even if you dont know me. Hahaha.
I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle. Losing someone you love is never easy. Sending hugs! And thank you! ❤️❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, Courtney. You're so brave to have made this video. I respect the strength it must take to show yourself being vulnerable. Hang in there and be kind to yourself, lady.
Thank you so much. ❤️❤️
My Dad passed in May on the 16th. I'm so sorry it's so hard.
I'm so sorry. Sending big hugs your way ❤
I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you! ❤️
So sorry to hear about your father. I lost my mom when I was 12 and my mother in law last year right before Covid hit. Losing a parent really does change your world and it takes time to find your footing again. Take care of yourself and do what you have to do to heal.
Courtney, I'm so sorry about your dad. I can completely relate as I lost my dad in 2014. All I can say is, you have an amazing support system, don't be afraid to come to us and lean on us when you need to. Your new normal will happen, just give it time.
I‘m so sorry to hear what had happend in your life. Take your time an do wathever feels right for you! And don’t think about your tears - you are still a strong woman! And I wish you and your family the best!
Grief really does change you, it changes your perspective on everything. September will be 3 years since my mom passed and it feels like such a fever dream. Please feed yourself! That's the only obligation you have. Nora McInerny has an amazing podcast called 'Terrible, Thanks For Asking' along with 3 books on grief, they've helped me immensely. You are not alone!
I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
Sending you all the comfort and love I can. ❤️
I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
I just wanted to say that I came for the writing advice (which is amazing), but I stayed for Courtney. You are an awesome person and I love you and how genuine you are with us. I know this is probably the hardest video you've ever had to make, but thank you for sharing it with us. I'll be keeping good thoughts and sending love to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. 💜
Sending you lots of love ❤️
I have thought about you and how you are doing I am glad you are still going. I hope that you have a clear rest of the year. Also regarding wanting to find your old normal again I would say don't look for the old keep looking forward and find a new good healthy normal that will help carry you forward in life. 🤗💜
Sorry for your loss ♡
I wish I could give you a hug. I lost my mom when I was 35, and there is nothing that can prepare you for it. There re so many things I would like to say, but the comment section isn't the place for it. ❤️ But I will say that I am new to your channel, (found t during NaNo) and I think that your livestreams are an important part of what you have to offer your subscribers. The live sprints are SO useful to me, and I'm sure to many others as well.
You are SO right that pain and loss changes you. It grows you. It unlocks new things inside you. You will always be more able to understand the loss of others now. And you will be able to write about loss in a more authentic way.
Thank you, Laura. ❤️❤️❤️
Courtney, my heart is breaking for you! I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my stepdad who was like my father three years ago and I still find myself crying over missing him. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. I admire you so much and hate to see you so upset :( I wish there was more I could do! Take your time with all the stuff you have going on, we all understand! We’re here for you ((hugs))
Courtney, I have missed you so much! I'm glad you are doing alright, minus the fact you are grieving over the lose of your dad. The whole thing with Van - I have found doing physical hard work does help the mind.
Here's some tough love: Yeah, while everyone's grieving process is different, it is time to pick yourself up and start climbing that mountain. You are stronger then yesterday and you will be stronger tomorrow. You are getting stronger each day you get out of bed and face the day. Remember that. You are Strong. Yes, you will come across something that will remind you of your dad and you will breakdown, but it is apart of the healing process. You will just have to accept that and be happy with the memories you have with your dad. Those will last for the rest of your life.
Anyway, I can't wait to see you again on TH-cam. Keep your chin up!
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to be vulnerable enough to share with us. I can’t imagine how hard it is to find motivation through this kind of grief and the family responsibilities that come with it. Your strength and resilience is really remarkable. 💕
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister in September and it's just in the last few weeks that I've felt like I'm regaining some kind of routine and normal.
so much love !! good luck finding your normal and moving forward 💕 but truly you don’t owe us anything, we’re just thankful you have opened up parts of yourself to us.
I'm very sorry for your loss, but it's tough to watch you be so hard on yourself. Your problems 2 years ago were real problems, what you're dealing with now is just on a different level. Please be kind to yourself, you need that now more than ever.