30-Year-Old Keeps Asking Mom for Money
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 พ.ค. 2024
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Helping out 30 year olds? You are crippling them. Back off mom.
so true
She needs to tell her kids, "No". They're adults - let them pay their own bills.
48 with kids in their 30s? John nailed it. She feels guilty for not being able to provide them what they wanted when they were kids and she was a teen mom, and now she feels so guilty about it she’s trying to make up for that.
I see that a lot. My sister felt bad for an absent dad but was a single mom. Later remarried, she was more set and had extra money and "spoiled" son with too many things and payments but it's a choice.
It’s possible she and her husband “can’t get on the same page” because he doesn’t want to keep financially supporting his adult, married kids.
Her kids have become her never ending situationships.
That weightlifting analogy might be the best analogy I’ve ever heard. That was absolutely perfect 🤌
Why did Maureen even bother calling? When the problem is she likes to be everyone’s ATM machine.
Your kids don’t mind you’ll be broke when you hit retirement age.
I was wondering that too.
The “M” in ATM is for machine.
@@davidmilhouscarter8198
Did not know that 🤣
If you finished the video you heard there are deeper issues with the dad. She doesn't know where to begin.
This is a reason why a lot of aging people are underprepared for retirement
I know a well-off, well-meaning couple who are still supporting two of their three children -- who are now in their 40s -- to some extent. It almost seems as though the parents do not want their adult children to ever be independent.
that...shit ...sounds SICK.
Gross
after 17 never asked my parents for a dime
why did they neglect you for a year.... they are responsible until you have graduated from high school and are 18
As if this is some sort of badge of honor?
@@KS-cl8br
He said..."After 17" Meaning once he turned 18. I never asked my parents for one red cent; since I was working by the age of 14!!
I asked to borrow 20 dollars when I was 18 and paid it back 3 days later....in 1998.
That was the last dollar I ever borrowed from my parents.
Well that’s understandable
Mom sounds like she’s 30 too
She sounds as immature as her kids.
Fundie baby voice
Well she got her oldest when she was 18 herself... 😮
More like 18.
And tell them that mom is trying to get out of debt so she can eventually retire and not have to live with her kids.
Very bad parenting... even Baloney and George gave up on her at the end of the call.. she is a mess
Baloney is correct! 😂
🤣🤣💀💀 Baloney
Dr John Boloney is a real knee slapper 😂
I know too many 30 year olds living on their parents dime. While having college degrees and not wanting to work “adult jobs”
Really!? Damn.
Ah, the dad question finally came up. I thought she was single
Had a girlfriend with a great job. Her brothers were always borrowing $ all the time, and she had no $. She can do whatever she wants, but then she wanted to borrow off me!
Dysfunction Junction.
@@TimesUp8888
🎵 "...what's your function" 🎶🤣
Fuck that. Dumped that shit. ✋
You know when you're at the airport and you see a group of young adults on vacation and in the group is a Mom hanging with them like she's their age and always picking up the tab. Well...😂
And like the favorite uncle in the club with his nephews and their friends😂
They're just trying to catchup on some years they missed by working hard all their lives.
They pay rent and then ask mum for money and get it all back again.
Some people get off on being the martyr and to these people i say, take full advantage of them until they learn the hard way
I have a friend who does this. The friend scraps and slaves for every penny. Her grown daughter is constantly hitting her up for money. I asked her why she does that, and she said “because she has my grandkids”. She won’t ever stop. And she will hit retirement with nothing. I can’t imagine being a grown person with kids needing $20 from anyone, much less mom.
That's even worse the daughter chose to have kids up to the daughter to pay for her own kids .....she knows granny will pay and is exploiting her
All i wanted at age 18 was to stand on my own 2 feet in the world. Moved out immediately after graduation and did not ask for financial assistance. Was I broke? Yes definitely. But i always worked and paid my own bills. Its such an important thing to step into independence as a young adult. I am totally stunned that most of my friends with kids aged 18-30 still have the kids living at home with no impetus toward independence.
It's batshit insane to me, I'm so freaked out by this. It's so common, it's not just this caller but this was a Special One. I've seen so much worse IRL. I don't get it but Thank God it's not my personal problem. 😅
These kids are an embarassment...
the mom too lol
So fucking embarrassing, this family
Maureen…I’m retired and old now but I did these same things and wasted so much money “helping” my kids out that it was ridiculous, and now it means nothing…they don’t respect you or even love you…and the proof is they use you mercilessly. Please believe me and stop molly coddling these adults.
Next Mom will be paying the younger kid's mortgage.
Holy shit. 30 yr olds who can’t get their own mail? You’re screwed
I don't think people understand what kind of bills they'll have until they actually get a place of their own. So the one looking to buy a house will be under prepared if they go straight into home ownership. Renting will make them need more time to save for a house but they'll learn a lot in the process. Also, God forbid, but if she suddenly dies, her children will be scrambling to figure out how to survive without a safety net.
She has major issues herself
It’s not that difficult to manage bills it’s just freaking math. I’d let my kids save up for a house.
@@JJJJ-he8bzgood luck with that. Have you SEEN what they call Math these days? It should be criminal.
The kid is paying $300 a month for rent. In the real world that doesn't even get you a doghouse. Imagine the shock on that kid's face when she (I think the one house shopping is a daughter) looks for a mortgage and gets slapped in the face with reality. This mom is really setting up this family for some major disappointments by being her kids' bail-out banker.
Why is jade in the thumbnail and not the video 😂
Fake news everywhere
😂
She has debt herself and keeps giving it away to her adult kids. You can’t save some people.
So, lets recap... The kid is 30... she is 40...🤔... this was messed up from the get go!! 😨
@@Heidishereandthere I think she’s 48 so she was a young single mom since the beginning
These are grown adults.
They need to go do grown adult stuff.
My god.
I actually dont mind the idea of adult kids living at home, provided they are paying meaningful rent and being responsible. Rents are high and 40 years ago it wasnt uncommon for people to stay home until they got married. I have a hard time with someone living at home and still not managing their finances though. She shouldn't be giving them money.
My parents did this for two of my siblings. These two siblings are now middle-aged. They still depend on my parents when they have a financial emergency.
She is creating weak adults.
what did she say when they asked how old she was, it sounded like 48??
yes and son 30 she is 48
Obviously, this mom has not watched Forensic Files. There are 50 episodes about the useless kids taking out the parents to get their money. If I were this woman, I would be scared.
Up to now she failed as a parent
I'm 19, a full time out of state college student, recieved 2000 dollars from my parents as a college fund, and still the only time I ask my parents for money is either the 5500 I loaned them 4 years ago, or for them to just add $100 to my campus card so i have money for laundry. I work full time when i can and part time otherwise. 30 years old and still asking for money is insane
Helicopter and friend parenting is, I think, partly due to the declining birth rate. When comfy parents only have 1 or 2 children, they dote on them like they are their most cherished possession, making them into little messiahs. Contrast it with a rural family from a hundred years ago that would have 5 or 6 children, and the children were marshalled to work the land ASAP.
It is mostly from single parents and the shift in culture from that. When you got no partners your child relationship is warped.
I think this is absolutely true. Have seen it time and time again. Luckily, I was one of seven, so was very independent from a young age, but still loved my parent.
That’s an interesting perspective that hadn’t occurred to me. Makes sense
They need to move out. Caller is annoying and a really bad mom.
IKR! Why on earth would u even want to stay? Look, Nobody's mom or dad is That Cool. Good god.
@@TimesUp8888my mom and dad are cool… and dare I say grandpa is epic!
Agree, she's an enabler. Bad parenting is an enabling parent.
The best thing an aging parent can do for their child, is take care of themselves as long as they can. This can mean saying that magic two letter word "No."
In the short run, it might suck. In the long run, as a child, I don't have to sort through debt, assests you don't really own, and a mountain of other issues because you weren’t taking care of yourself.
I got out of active duty service at twenty three and i'm so glad my dad kicked me out six months after I got back.... I thought it was cruel at first but it made me The success I am today
Parents don’t understand how limited they make their children when there is no push to get out and kill on your own.
Exactly, look at Dave's kids all out on their own killing it. Oh wait....
Creating and nurturing cripples who were botn able bodied and able minded. That's not love. NOPE.
@@siva47931but did they get Concierge Service and live at home til they were 30???
@@TimesUp8888 no, but hey gave them high ranking positions in his company. Paychecks for life
Enabler. Crazy. This is wild. Her “kids” are 30 years old!!
Whats even more messed up is... she...is...40?? 🤔 😮
@@Heidishereandthere I think she said 48.
Right! The best enabler in the world!
I'm embarrassed FOR her! She is totally enabling them.
She’s not going to do anything differently.
The last 30 seconds of this invite so many questions. I’d love to sit down for beers with this caller and have a night.
She needed Dave to be on this call
She was 18 when she had a baby and had to be a grown up! Think back woman! You can let them go
When parents, parent out of guilt, you're serving a void inside of yourself while keeping your adult children stuck in life. It's actually selfish. I've had to back off from doing this and heal from my own stuff
Took a pause. Does that mean not working?
Probly means weren't doing a damn thing but playing video games and smoking weed. And sleeping 12 hrs a day. Lazy.
I've had my own money since i was 10 thats over 40 years ago i never asked for money yet
Lady, if you're reading this, you're harming your kids. And that dad isnt stepping up, he is harming them too via weakness.
Stop harming your kids.
Do this by letting them feel the pain of a being a real adult.
The best growth I ever went through was when I became fully independant.
Living in Palm Springs doesn't help. Very expensive!
2 words: "Concierge Service"
🤡🌍
Right, that was wild lol. Seems like the concierge service should be phased out when the kids are 13, not 30
Parents get validation and self esteem through making their kids feel "good." They would rather steal the self esteem for themselves than give it to their kids and that's why things like this happen.
Wow, Spot On. It's even worse than I thought. But that's it and that's.... 🤮🤮🤮
Omg this is totally my parents I sent them this
I’m also 30 can’t even listen to this call lmaoooo
After college my parents never gave me a dime. And honestly i feel guilty that they helped me through college. I can't imagine asking for money now.
If they were well off enough to help you, you shouldn’t feel guilty. Regardless, it was their choice to help, they’re adults.
But the line should be drawn after you graduate and get to work.
It’s a poor person’s thought process to not want to help family get established. Parents should help their children, within reason, but also teach independence and boundaries.
I always say it's the rare case where you can help someone. Most "helping" hurts long term, this goes especially for the government.
Freud said it best, “The good mother necessarily fails”
Why does the cast always talk over their callers and give their opinion? Then have to ask the question of why the caller is calling😮
I definitely see why some write in... you can't interrupt a letter... or maybe they can😅😂
Just tell them no. It's not hard.
You can help the helpless, you can't help the hopeless.
I moved out at 23 and been paying rent since 18 😂 this is wild
She is sounds like she likes being bank and landlord.
Adult children who refuse to grow up and who are OK with leeching off of their parents are pathetic. The parents are wholly to blame, though. I know so many people who are subsidizing the lives of their adult children and their grandchildren, yet they all complain about it and do not stop their enabling behaviors. I find that to be pathetic also, but I try to give them grace, because they are all good people.
30 yr old and fiancee living with mom for FREE!?
What the fuck!?
HOW EMBARRASSING.
Yikes this is…well sad
"Right Now me" is having fun now - let "Future Me" worry about the consequences.
If you can go to college and/or learn a high paying trade, do it ASAP! I was on my own and saving 50% of my income at 22. It’s scary working min wage (when it was $6.75) and burrowing $32,000 for trade school. (I did ultrasound) but immediately after school I was making above average 5 figures. You can grow to 6 figures in 1-5 years tbh. I never asked my parents for a penny. For 1 semester I didn’t have a car and my mom took me to college, then I bought car and paid my own insurance cuz I was saving my part time money. I was blessed&fortunate, but I also didn’t abuse it or take it for granted. You can too.
If your were blessed and fortunate enough to have those options and you got a good job after.... You don't realize others might need more of different just to be in a good situation over time? WTF why assume anyone can do what you did when everyone has a different situation? It working or not working does not mean it can or will work for others over a lifetime!!!
mom needs to say no
Single moms often feel guilty and never stop trying to pay back their child for not giving them a father.
They also never learn how to hold boundaries and discipline with children without a man to enforce them.
She’s not legally single but that’s her mindset since she refuses to align with him.
Maureen you called the wrong show. You need to call the Dr John Delony show and talk about this more in depth with him. A lot of issues run deep here
I wonder if her budget includes a line item for retirement. If she gets clear on what her future holds, and how important it is to honor her future needs, then that will be her guiding light and she'll see what she's sacrificing by letting her kids siphon off every loose penny.
This woman is the reason why younger generations are so entitled and lazy.
Completely agree
Lots of young people helping their entitled boomer parents. It goes both ways.
And their father, who is married to their mother, in the picture, in their lives and doesn’t step up? Where is his responsibility?
@@jordanlavalleyno there aren't any doing this.
@@dudeorduuude5211 Imagine being this confident in being wrong lmfao. Your bias is showing.
Are you safe? That's what everyone wants to know.
Lolol ARE YOU SAAAAFE
Safety is everyone's priority
Happy Mother's Day! Can I have some money? 😂
The one kid "took a pause for a bit" That pretty much sums it up.
That sums up nothing.
@@jimmymcgill6778LMAO - Be 4 Real. OP is correct 💯
What it Sums Up is that's how Losers are made and stayed. You can Pause on Life when you're dead.
A pause after completing his degree. No big deal.
@@jimmymcgill6778 the longer you don't use the degree, the more obsolete employers can view it. Unless they're still taking classes or showing the knowledge is still relevant/up to date...
I tried to take a pause when I got laid off and had 20k in bank at 20 but that lasted 3 months my dad said you better work also while you’re going to school. So I worked anyway cuz I had saved that 20k from my part time jobs to use to school so I thought I didn’t need to work.
It's time for a 12 step program at Celebrate recovery. It's called enabling and codependency
We need more smart husbands out here like this chick's
Ok, this is a rant, but why can't parents be darned parents, anymore? I know this doesn't apply to every parent out there. Amongst my pier group there are all number of exceptions to what I'm about to state. But too many parents, and I mean TOO MANY parents, run around after their adult children putting plasters on wounds that could have been avoided if they'd just told their kids, "This is the way of the world, this is how you deal with it, and if you don't, you'll graze your knee or worse". And, of course, our adult children do make mistakes. Hopefully, they're small ones.
But they have to learn the old fashioned way. Success and pain.
I've got friends whose kids are in their 20's and buying houses and getting on with life because that was always expected of them. I've got friends whose kids are in their 20's and their still asking Mum and Dad for beer money. And mum and dad are giving them beer money!!! WTF!!!
Give your kids a leg up, for sure. I did. But once they're on the horse, they've got to round up the cows for dairy, and if they don't, oh well, better luck next time. Life doesn't give you too many chances, if any at all. Learn that young.
I'm right here with you this is CRAZY AND DUMB and selfish in the extreme
Why is jade on the picture instead of George?? Lol
I didn’t notice until you pointed it out; guess I wasn’t really paying attention.😂😂 It is odd; I would have rather had Jade in on the conversation.
She needs to send her daughters to financial university and get them taught how to fish themselves.
Helping your kids get into a house is one of the greatest gift you can ever give them. My dad helped me and I am eternally grateful and I will help my kids too. Just partial of the downpayent and I live in CA so it’s crazy $$$ here
If the "kid" can't get together the money for a down payment, how can he or she afford the mortgage payments, property taxes, maintenance/repairs, possible HOA fees, etc. that come with home ownership?
Nope, not the greatest gift. 🙄 Rather foolhearty.
@@ucbearcats1978in California a modest 20% down payment is 250k. Maybe my logic only applies to expensive areas. In Ohio 250 might be able to buy a house outright. Nothing against Ohio as my wife is from there and I wouldn’t mind living there.
My dad helped me with closing costs for my house, and I’m so grateful! I couldn’t afford to buy my house now. I’m making $17k more per year than when I bought it, but the value has just skyrocketed along with interest rates. Without my dad’s help I wouldn’t be where I am today! And I’ll never forget his generosity ❤
And I do pay for the upkeep and everything that comes with it. I don’t ask my parents for money unless it’s for Christmas (and in place of other gifts). But my parents are willing to be generous because I don’t expect it or feel entitled to it.
I wouldn’t be surprised if both of these adult children are sons. In my family’s culture the parents’ (especially mothers) attitude towards daughters and sons and their family’s expectations of them are usually very different. Same with a lot of my friends’ families including some of different cultures. I am not saying daughters are never coddled in my family but not as often or to the same extent. Some women in my family resent it but I have learned to be grateful. I am financially independent while my sibling is in his 30s and still on his parents’ tit. I am concerned about inheriting him and some cousins once their parents pass because they have never had to be self sufficient. My bff is also worried she will have to take care of her unemployed, addict brother once her parents pass away because they pay all of his bills. When they had an apartment together the parents paid his half of the rent although all he did was sleep all day while my friend had a job. Parents who don’t prepare their children to live independently aren’t helping them.
Should have been a 15 min video
Two methods
My method: Pay for them to go to college for 4 years and have a first car and boom thats it and maybe insurance. Let them live with you rent free or charge them a little bit WHILE IN COLLEGE.
Or the Dave method pay for 4 years and you save up for your first car and I will match whatever you save. Let them live with you rent free or charge them a little bit WHILE IN COLLEGE.
Anything outside of that is not your problem.
That would only work if you did it before they were 20 yrs old not 30. Anyone almost 30 wants to go to college they're gonna need to do it themselves.
Also hell no to living another DAY unless paying full marlet rate + utilities. Thr Boomers were right on this. They made it intolerable to stay so nobody wanted to. Why would u do that when u could live with your friends, Finally! They made us fend for ourselves since jr high and. We wanted to run our own house and play loud music til 2am and have fun because we were 18 - 22.
What has happened that people wanna raise a Baby and keep them a Baby til they're 50? I feel like I'm in a Black Mirror episode rn
@@TimesUp8888 I was reffering to people in their early 20s aka the time when people usually graduate with a bachelor's degree.
Soooo off topic. Why are Jade & John the thumbnail though?
She and her husband need to go to marriage counseling, and she needs her own counseling about how to have a relationship with her sons
I was paying half rent at 22. At 24 I was on the lease paying full rent. I now own a multi-unit in a major city in a nice area. If your kids don’t struggle and solve their own problems they will never learn and grow. Stop coddling.
Fear drives you to do this. Stop the fear. The kids will figure it out and if they don't...then they don't. Coming from a parent of a recovering addict.
I mean it is California...
The effects of living in California. Your kids are going to be asking until they leave that state or become doctors and lawyers lol.
If you have to fake the main picture with other staff to get views you need to change the staff or train them. Really tired of seeing Dave or jade and clicking and it is these 2 talking about feelings.
Delony is like a fidget spinner. Takes 50 words to state the obvious.
Yeah, but I think when people get in stupid situations like these, the obvious simple explanation clearly hasn’t worked for them before
Delony is like a fidget spinner. Useless for anyone over 12.
John is annoying George up to his eyeballs.
I have a family member in the same situation. Evert time you talk to this person he/she talks about money. I don’t have money, I have to pay at his certain bill. I cannot afford to quit my jobs…yes I said jobs….2 full time jobs and he/she still cannot make it. Not even paying rent just utilities bills and cannot make it. How is this possible when they bring home income is $6000 per month? The reason why is that he/she baby the kids. Every time they need money for gas he/she is there to rescue them. I need money to pay my insurance…pop he/she is there. Got to let go of the apron strings but cannot or will not let them go. It is no body’s fault but their fault. They are working themselves to death! I tried helping but do
not listen. Oh well! Life goes on for me!
I assume you no longer talk to this person....l would Not want to hear her money woes all the time
I know a couple who still partially support two of their three children, who are in their 40s. The parents believe they are helping their children when, in fact, they are crippling them financially.
Forgot to ask, “ArE yOu SaFe?”
So, she was 10 when she had the kid??
18?
she is 48 son 30
She doesn't even recognize the harm she is doing to them.
The greatest peace a parent can have is knowing that when you die your kids will be strong enough to survive and thrive. She doesn't have that peace since she has made her kids weak!
I get tired of John trying to analyze everyone. I wish that it was just Dave like the old days.
Are you safe
Omg... you have the oldest 5yr children I have ever heard. All of this stops. Bank of mom is closed for business permanently. They have 2 months to get their own place or whatever they are missing. Absolutely no more than 3 months. It's time that you became an adult, mom. Because you're not an adult and nor are your kids.
And her kids are married? Seriously? What would it take for you to say your kids can be cut off? If you cannot fund yourself you have no business getting married. Yes there are strange situations that happen. Health issues. Injuries. Etc etc etc. But healthy normal adults not willing to fund there own life and let mom pay for everything. I get some parents will pay for college or help set there kids up some. But that's a structured thing from people who can afford it. This is not that.
My parents initially promised me around $250 a month while I was in college to help. A few months in and they had to have that tough conversation and tell me that they couldn't do it. They were filling for bankruptcy. I felt so terrible taking the little I did. Even though it really was there choice & my $250 isn't the reason they filled. But I got my butt in gear and figured it out fast. It was honestly the best parenting decision my parents probably ever made because it changed how I approached everything in a positive way. And yeah. It honestly took a couple of years to really get in a good place. But i have never once asked for money from my parents since and im in a position now where i should never need to ever again. Because of what they gave me. Self efficacy. That is millions and billions of times more valuable than a the tens of thousands of dollars you have given them. Your making a bad investment.
I would feel horrible asking my parents for money if I knew they were struggling. Shame on her kids.
^This.