"just be quiet"! exactly Poet people who comment on things that they haven't got a clue about can sod off. We all have a real life story to tell. It's only when you've been there that you will know! I was in Foster homes growing up and I ended up in prison for minor offences but I've turned my life around and I'm a gentleman now with a massive heart and plenty of Empathy for people who are going through difficulties in life. I found my inner peace and now I fill my life with work and tranquility. *LOVE CONQUERS ALL* PS be kind to your mothers they brought us into this world and we all make our own choices in life its NOT down to our mothers to watch everything that we are doing in life. If they did you wouldn't like it anyway!
One of the most important things I learned and remembered from therapy so many years ago was 'Who owns the problem?'. Best you can do is own your own issues and let others own theirs. Even if you aren't doing something outwardly it is still going on inside you. Within yourself, you can only work through the aspects that bother you and why they are bothering you. That is all you own. Give them the rest. Again, even if you don't express it outwardly. It is another loss. Exactly the same. Learning what parts to hold onto and which ones to let go of. My husband came with 3 sons which for the first few years lived with us. Youngest got himself into trouble and jailed for the first time when he was about 16 (?). I was the only one that went to see him. Whole family was in complete shock, had turned a blind eye to the little warning signs. When I cleaned out the room he had briefly stayed in, I found a paper where he had written a little about the incident. He was beyond hurt it was me (his 2nd best 2nd rate step-"mom"), the only one that had gone to see him. About a year or so after that he got into a car accident (his fault) and his girlfriend was thrown from the car and killed. Less than a year later, he found a way to take himself out. Freak thing. Sort of like suicide by cop but it was suicide by a neighbor's neighbor who shot him from banging around on his patio in the wee hours of the morning. Not enough to show drunk on the test. No drugs. He couldn't get past having killed his girlfriend and ended it. Years later, of course I had gone back in my mind so many times trying to reason it out when in reality there was absolutely nothing anyone could have done. Who owned the problem? HE did.
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. It’s far more common than some people may think. Btw, you may want to move the placement of your microphone; it REALLY picks up the sound of you swallowing your coffee.
Hi Poet. Ive walked the same path with various family members. When i married my husband, a few of his stepkids tried working me for money. My husband gave me advice. He said "these grown adult children worked their mother into an early grave. Don't let them take advantage if you. They will lie and cry to get u to feel bad." He was right. I had to use tough love with them even though they didn't like it. So i know how hard it is. Sending you prayers and hugs
Poet we all like to have a peaceful environment. You are being a Mother love always stays regardless. Do what you think feels right at the time. Im so jealous having a fiance that fits into your life in many ways. Im sure you had an angel looking out for you...maybe Sky. ❤❤
I agree let G step in. Yes I would still call what he did to you …abuse, conning, manipulation, preying upon your weakness or kindness. All of that. We can’t say no because we are so caring and we are empaths so we feel what the person feels and I would say almost to a fault. It’s a blessing and a curse to be so attentive and caring to one’s feelings. ❤❤❤
I just found your Chanel and I really enjoy you. I'm 60 and have a 36 year old son that was diagnosed with bi polar. I Did everything to help him , but he refused his meds and went into mania ..he destroyed my neighbors property and ultimately assaulted my husband...long story short I had to evict him and I don't speak often to him....I understand your pain...sending love your way
Poet. I’m so sorry you had to go throughout all that with your son. Sometimes, a person just can’t get clean. Drugs own them and they can’t get free. As family, the time comes when with a heavy heart, for emotional health, you have to walk away. It seems that time has come for you. I’m happy you have your fiancé to help you through this difficult time. Btw your engagement ring is gorgeous! Congratulations 🎉
My daughter’s mother in law had the same feeling as you with her son and went through the same guilt thinking it was the divorce and probably still is and her son is in his 40’s . Same thing he was or is an addict so you’re correct many are living this same story and I’m sure appreciate you bringing this to light . ❤❤❤
Please go to Al-Anon to learn about boundaries with your son so you can learn to let go of the insanity of the disease of addiction and keep it from internalizing in you. It’s caused you too much trauma. You seem like such a nice person but we need to learn to let go of your preoccupation with the son that is stuck in’s inside of you. You deserve respect. The Buddha says all suffering starts with desire (wanting things our way). His stuff isn’t yours to carry.
Poet, remember this quote. Givers (like yourself) give from the heart. Takers (like your son) don't know how to give. They only know how to take. And being the giver that you are, you will get hurt, often when you deal with a taker. Your giving heart also makes you an enabler. And being an enabler doesn't mean it's your fault. Don't let your taker son abuse your giving heart.
my heart really hurts for you i pray you can one day you can be at peace it sounds like he is not going to change and he has to be the one to do this i worry he is going to get you hurt physically one day sounds like he is very good at lying i can tell you really love him
I’m sorry this has and is happening to you. More so sorry that you have to explain. This type of abuse does exist whether it’s a parent, a sibling, a significant other, abuse is abuse.
Im so sorry for the pain and suffering you endure. I share a similar fate. Praying for you and your family.
You deserve peace and to enjoy the golden years Poet. Look after yourself and your son by letting go. 💕
"just be quiet"! exactly Poet people who comment on things that they haven't got a clue about can sod off. We all have a real life story to tell. It's only when you've been there that you will know! I was in Foster homes growing up and I ended up in prison for minor offences but I've turned my life around and I'm a gentleman now with a massive heart and plenty of Empathy for people who are going through difficulties in life. I found my inner peace and now I fill my life with work and tranquility. *LOVE CONQUERS ALL* PS be kind to your mothers they brought us into this world and we all make our own choices in life its NOT down to our mothers to watch everything that we are doing in life. If they did you wouldn't like it anyway!
One of the most important things I learned and remembered from therapy so many years ago was 'Who owns the problem?'. Best you can do is own your own issues and let others own theirs. Even if you aren't doing something outwardly it is still going on inside you. Within yourself, you can only work through the aspects that bother you and why they are bothering you. That is all you own. Give them the rest. Again, even if you don't express it outwardly. It is another loss. Exactly the same. Learning what parts to hold onto and which ones to let go of. My husband came with 3 sons which for the first few years lived with us. Youngest got himself into trouble and jailed for the first time when he was about 16 (?). I was the only one that went to see him. Whole family was in complete shock, had turned a blind eye to the little warning signs. When I cleaned out the room he had briefly stayed in, I found a paper where he had written a little about the incident. He was beyond hurt it was me (his 2nd best 2nd rate step-"mom"), the only one that had gone to see him. About a year or so after that he got into a car accident (his fault) and his girlfriend was thrown from the car and killed. Less than a year later, he found a way to take himself out. Freak thing. Sort of like suicide by cop but it was suicide by a neighbor's neighbor who shot him from banging around on his patio in the wee hours of the morning. Not enough to show drunk on the test. No drugs. He couldn't get past having killed his girlfriend and ended it. Years later, of course I had gone back in my mind so many times trying to reason it out when in reality there was absolutely nothing anyone could have done. Who owned the problem? HE did.
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. It’s far more common than some people may think. Btw, you may want to move the placement of your microphone; it REALLY picks up the sound of you swallowing your coffee.
Amy - yes I’m aware of the swallowing . ❤😊thank you
Hi Poet. Ive walked the same path with various family members. When i married my husband, a few of his stepkids tried working me for money. My husband gave me advice. He said "these grown adult children worked their mother into an early grave. Don't let them take advantage if you. They will lie and cry to get u to feel bad." He was right. I had to use tough love with them even though they didn't like it. So i know how hard it is. Sending you prayers and hugs
🙏
Poet we all like to have a peaceful environment. You are being a Mother love always stays regardless. Do what you think feels right at the time. Im so jealous having a fiance that fits into your life in many ways. Im sure you had an angel looking out for you...maybe Sky. ❤❤
I agree let G step in. Yes I would still call what he did to you …abuse, conning, manipulation, preying upon your weakness or kindness. All of that. We can’t say no because we are so caring and we are empaths so we feel what the person feels and I would say almost to a fault. It’s a blessing and a curse to be so attentive and caring to one’s feelings. ❤❤❤
I just found your Chanel and I really enjoy you. I'm 60 and have a 36 year old son that was diagnosed with bi polar. I Did everything to help him , but he refused his meds and went into mania ..he destroyed my neighbors property and ultimately assaulted my husband...long story short I had to evict him and I don't speak often to him....I understand your pain...sending love your way
Poet. I’m so sorry you had to go throughout all that with your son. Sometimes, a person just can’t get clean. Drugs own them and they can’t get free. As family, the time comes when with a heavy heart, for emotional health, you have to walk away. It seems that time has come for you. I’m happy you have your fiancé to help you through this difficult time. Btw your engagement ring is gorgeous! Congratulations 🎉
My daughter’s mother in law had the same feeling as you with her son and went through the same guilt thinking it was the divorce and probably still is and her son is in his 40’s . Same thing he was or is an addict so you’re correct many are living this same story and I’m sure appreciate you bringing this to light . ❤❤❤
Please go to Al-Anon to learn about boundaries with your son so you can learn to let go of the insanity of the disease of addiction and keep it from internalizing in you. It’s caused you too much trauma. You seem like such a nice person but we need to learn to let go of your preoccupation with the son that is stuck in’s inside of you. You deserve respect. The Buddha says all suffering starts with desire (wanting things our way). His stuff isn’t yours to carry.
❤
Poet, remember this quote. Givers (like yourself) give from the heart. Takers (like your son) don't know how to give. They only know how to take. And being the giver that you are, you will get hurt, often when you deal with a taker. Your giving heart also makes you an enabler. And being an enabler doesn't mean it's your fault. Don't let your taker son abuse your giving heart.
🙏❤️
Time to fly free Poet. Leave all of what you went through behind you. Take care of YOU and enjoy your new life.
Hugs. Been there personally and watched others go through it. Take good care of yourself, keep going. You deserve the best for you.
Thank you so much!
my heart really hurts for you i pray you can one day you can be at peace it sounds like he is not going to change and he has to be the one to do this i worry he is going to get you hurt physically one day sounds like he is very good at lying i can tell you really love him
* HOPE ANCHORS THE SOUL *👌
It's time for a coffee with poet....hope all is well with you
Do you play the guitar?
I’m sorry this has and is happening to you. More so sorry that you have to explain. This type of abuse does exist whether it’s a parent, a sibling, a significant other, abuse is abuse.
i can tell you are very smart and caring