Are We Obligated to Care for Our Elderly Parents
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One of the more challenging moral obligations that we face throughout our lifetime is honoring our parents - and especially our elderly parents, as they become more needy and more dependent. This is not an easy thing to do on so many levels. It can be physically challenging, mentally taxing, emotionally draining and a major burden financially.
So the big question is why are we obligated to help our elderly parents? Why should our parents become our responsibility? And this question is acutely growing as the largest demographic today are the elderly - due to higher life expectancy and health and medical interventions.
Please join Rabbi Simon Jacobson for a vital discussion that not only addresses our moral obligation but also our spiritual well being. Explore what lies behind our relationship with our parents, both when we are children and they (hopefully) cared for us and as they get older and we may need to take care and support them. Discover how honoring our parents -- especially in challenging times -- uncovers the very core of our humanity, of our love and relationships, the very essence of our souls and their divine nature.
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Rabbi Simon Jacobson is a pioneering speaker, educator and mentor to thousands. He is the Dean and Founder of The Meaningful Life Center, coined "The Spiritual Starbucks" by the New York Times, which bridges the secular and the spiritual. He is the author of the best-selling book Toward a Meaningful Life (💎 www.amazon.com...) which has sold over 500,000 copies and been translated into 13 different languages. With his keen insight into the human condition, and over 35 years of experience, he has the unique ability to offer clarity and direction especially in difficult times.
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This is a no brainer! I lost my parents at a young age. To care for your elderly parents is showing gratitude and unconditional love. I wish every day I would have had the opportunity to look after them in their old age❤️🙏🏼That is the reason why I volunteer at a care home for the elderly 💕
I was raised by an African grandparent. I’ve always held the elderly to a high esteem, so much so that I built a career out of it. This message resonates very closely to my heart. Recently I took care of my uncle who passed at 89, it was an absolute joy spending the last 3years of his life with him. I learned so much in that process - while the intention was to care for him, he ended up nurturing me and helping me heal a lot of my childhood trauma surrounding my unavailable father. I’m forever grateful for that journey.
I’m caring for my 84 year old neighbor and its heartbreaking as he slides into dementia … this was really helpful 🙏🏻
Part 2
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one's getting anything so let's talk about the sugar story and why that
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became demonized and Schipper became the darling that in many ways ruined our
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society I couldn't agree more this is a very sordid story and was very
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specifically driven by the sugar Association a trade group you know of
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the industry from way back started back in 1943 but really sort of picked up
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steam in the 50s and 60s now the thing that really turned the tide was 1955
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Eisenhower had a heart attack and everyone wanted to know why and at that
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point the data had started to amass that America was suffering from big-time
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cardiovascular disease Paul Dudley white at Mass General had demonstrated that
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the incidence of coronary disease in the United States had gone up something like six-fold over the previous five decades
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so everyone wanted to know what caused heart disease because the president had
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a heart attack and there were two camps one camp which
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was led by a British physiologist nutritionist physician by the name of doctor
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john eunjin said that it was sugar that was driving this and back then
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dr. yadkin had correlation not causation those studies remained to be done over
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the course of the next several decades but he had studies that looked at the amount of sugar consumed and the amount
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of heart disease diabetes gout several other chronic diseases and he made that
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case on the other side there was a second camp which unfortunately one out
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and that camp was led by a Minnesota epidemiologist by the name of Ancel Keys
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he was actually on the cover of Time magazine scientist of the year back in
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1980 that he did a study which was called the seven countries study and
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what he looked at was the percent of the diet as saturated fat versus the
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incidence of coronary heart disease in seven countries and showed this very linear relationship between the two
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here's the problem it wasn't the seven country study it was the 22 country
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study he picked the seven that fit his line the other 15 he left out we only
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found that out later in addition there were three things that happened in the
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1970s that sort of sealed the deal against yet gunnin for keys we learned
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three things the first thing we learned was that this molecule in our
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bloodstream called LDL low-density lipoprotein and we learned that LDL was
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a driver of cardiovascular disease because of these kids with genetic
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genetic inability to clear LDL called familial hypercholesterolemia and these
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would be the kids who would get heart attacks at age 18 the second thing we learned was that dietary fat raised your
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serum LDL which is true as it turns out there are two LDLs it raised one not the
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other and the one that didn't get raised that causes heart disease but that but when you measure it you measure both but we
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didn't know so people know LDL is often thought of as a particles and B particles a the big fluffy ones that are
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harmless right basically be the little demon ones molded like shards of glass
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yes that's blood vessel damage exactly so we always say LDLs bad cholesterol it
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turns out that LDL is actually probably neutral cholesterol and for the most part but this one particular species
Part 2
20 - Then in laboratory oh i should tell you too we said this on the show today those of you may not have heard it some of you didn't hear the whole show the first symptoms of a zinc deficiency is you lose your sense of smell and your taste say oh you know food just doesn't taste good anymore you don't have a cold or anything like that you say your wife says well aren't you excited about dinner i spent the whole day in the kitchen cooking dinner i said well i didn't smell anything when i walked in you know he's got a zinc deficiency on laboratory animals.
21 - There's some seven rare earths these rare earths are trace minerals you need in lesser amounts than you need trace minerals and they actually double the lifespan of laboratory animals they've not been proven in humans yet but i'm not going to wait 500 years for doctors to approve it they're still arguing over vitamin c
and calcium right so i'm just going to do it didn't kill any laboratory animals just doubles their life and it's not a drug. These rare earths are called lanthanum prasiodimium neodymium sumerium europium, yidribium and thulium there must be a reason why they're named .after old testament cities.
22 - well remember i told you we needed 90 nutrients we need 60 minerals we need 16 vitamins 12 essential amino acids and three essential fatty acids of course we're lucky in that plants as a group can make most vitamins amino acids and fatty acids plants can do that because they just take carbon out of the air and make carbon chains to make vitamins amino acids and fatty acids but you have to eat 15 to 23 different plants a day in the right combinations to make this happen theoretically it's possible that most americans don't do it the average american thinks if they eat some potato buds out of a betty crocker box or eating a vegetable okay so you got to be careful what you're considering a vegetable then of course people want to do right by their doctor and they eat low-fat turkey breasts and they put a half a jar of mayonnaise on there and they put it between two slices of wonder styrofoam bread remember that stuff you can insulate your house with and put your shoes when you get a hole and shoe i remember when i was a kid 50 years ago it was a lot of fun because we have wonder bread we didn't have tvs back then.
23 - U.S Senate Document 264
How many of you ever heard of alzheimer's disease everybody's heard about it today 50 years ago when i was a little kid there's no such thing as alzheimer's disease it's a new disease one of those things that just sort of happened now it's a major disease one out of every two people who reach age 70 get alzheimer's disease pretty scary well we learned 50 years ago in the animal industry how to prevent and cure in the early stages alzheimer's disease and livestock imagine how much a farmer would lose if the pigs were all laying there scratching their heads saying why am i here where is the feed box because if they're not gaining a couple of pounds a day you're losing money right so we learned in the agricultural industry how to prevent in the early stages cure alzheimer's disease we do it with high doses of vitamin e and low intakes of vegetable oil you say well like that's crazy high doses of vitamin e well you should have got a recall notice from your doctor in july of 1992 because the university of california i mean we're talking about sophisticated research medical school here university of california san diego came out and said vitamin e eases memory loss and alzheimer's victims now they're only 50 years behind on that from veterinary medicine so they might be safer going to a veterinarian then
How many of you in this room ever had a kidney stone anybody in here ever get that kidney stone okay i see a few in here what's the first thing a doctor told you to give up nutritionally when you got your kidney stone give up calcium no dairy no dairy none of those vitamin mineral things with calcium in them because they have the stupid naive ignorant belief that's pretty intense they have the stupid ignorant naive beliefs that the calcium in your kidney stone comes from the calcium you eat when in fact it comes from your own bones when you have a raging calcium deficiency a raging osteoporosis then you get kidney stones we learned a thousand years ago in writing in the agricultural industry if you wanted to prevent kidney stones in livestock you better give them more calcium you better give them more magnesium and more boron
#
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how many of you ever heard of alzheimer's disease everybody's heard about it today 50 years ago when i was a little kid
31:47
there's no such thing as alzheimer's disease it's a new disease one of those things that just sort of happened now it's a major
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disease one out of every two people who reach age 70 get alzheimer's disease pretty scary
31:59
well we learned 50 years ago in the animal industry how to prevent and cure in the early stages alzheimer's disease and
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livestock imagine how much a farmer would lose if the pigs were all laying there scratching their heads saying why
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am i here where is the feed box because if they're not gaining a couple
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of pounds a day you're losing money right so we learned in the agricultural industry how to prevent in the early stages cure
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alzheimer's disease we do it with high doses of vitamin e and low intakes of vegetable oil you say well like that's
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crazy high doses of vitamin e well you should have got a recall notice from your doctor in july of 1992 because the
32:34
university of california i mean we're talking about sophisticated research medical school here university
32:40
of california san diego came out and said vitamin e eases memory loss and alzheimer's victims now they're only 50
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years behind on that from veterinary medicine so they might be safer going to a veterinarian
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then how many of you in this room ever had a kidney stone anybody in here ever get that kidney stone okay i see a few in here what's the first thing a doctor
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told you to give up nutritionally when you got your kidney stone give up calcium no dairy
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no dairy none of those vitamin mineral things with calcium in them because they have the stupid naive ignorant belief
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that's pretty intense they have the stupid ignorant naive beliefs that the calcium in your
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kidney stone comes from the calcium you eat when in fact it comes from your own bones when you have a raging calcium
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deficiency a raging osteoporosis then you get kidney stones we learned a thousand years ago in writing in the
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agricultural industry if you wanted to prevent kidney stones in livestock you better give them more calcium you better give them more magnesium and more boron
This was so beautiful, thank you Rabbi, I looked after my mom during her battle with cancer and finally, daily, the last week of her life.. It was an honour and a privilege to be of service to her in the caring of her needs, even in the things that seemed unimportant to me, because they were important to her. It gave me a deep peace with her passing, that I didn't feel the usual pain of grief, just gratitude that her struggle was behind her and that I could give back in some small measure the sacrifices she made for me.
Not obligated to do anything… but the closer you are to God, your duties will be revealed to you… and you’ll be convinced.
well said
My mother was not a good mother to me, but for me, I had to be best possible daughter to her. I have no regrets & would do it again that way.
GodBless You....
Ultimately, we are all temporary beings just like our aging parents. We should be there for them just as we will be vulnerable and need someone to be there for us.
I needed to hear this as I am caring for my elderly mother and its a struggle sometimes with her age and declining health. Thank you Rabbi! This message was G-d sent!
I cared for my mother during her last few months of life...she fell on my watch 😭 and after her fall the dementia came very quickly. I suffered with guilt because she fell in the bathroom at night when i was asleep. i had very little sleep since she was awake all night and micro napped throughout the day. I had no help, and I could not sleep because I was losing my best friend right before my eyes. My mother was very loving but had a co-dependent relationship with my father and he was physically abusive. I do not regret taking care of her since I know she did her best. It was a gift since she taught me how to die.
Yes ma'am, well said... you made me cry, sending you blessings and ☀️ from Florida
It wasn't an obligation, it was love and choice.
Amen.
I am privileged to take care of my dad. I do not regret it.
It is a new chapter in our lives. We are learning more of each other as the days continue. We will continue honoring our parent until death do us part.
Thank you Rabbi for sharing.
Not everyone can take care of their loved ones due to circumstances.
It is a loving and humbling commitment.
We are privileged to take care of our loved one’s.
Thank you Jesus.
Treat others as you want to be treated. We should all do the best we can for our parents.
Thank you for this Rabbi. My father passed away 14 years ago and my mother is getting to the age where she'll need more of my care. I'm 26 years old and still live with her, so it does become difficult at times but after watching this video, I'm honored to be taking care of mum. I was unable to take care of dad before he passed as I was only 12 but I definitely took things for granted before he passed. I will be taking care of mum in dad's honor as well. They provided me the foundation for my existence and although it was not perfect, I am alive and healthy because of them.
You're a good man. I am a man and have been supporting my mom (and stepfather) financially since I was 26 and that started back in the 1990s so it's been a long time. I don't really feel appreciated but I did it because I wanted to do the right thing not because I would get lots of praise (although some praise and other benefits would be nice).
Thanks for the wonderful message Rabbi. I took care of my mother for 11 years until she passed away last January. She was totally dependent; she had dementia and diabetes. Although I have family I was left alone to take care of her. Tough times for me, but I am glad I was able to offer her my full time assistance during the last years of her life.
Thank you Rabbi Jacobson
✡️🙏❤️🔥
A good evening for you and all here!!
✌️🙂✌️
Yes. Of course. They took good care of me. I love them very much. It's ungrateful not to take good care of them when they are old now. I'm doing it because I love them. It's not a burden or obligation.
What if they were crappy parents? What if they did not model love in a healthy way, and your life is kind of screwed up because of deep childhood trauma? Glad for you that it's easy, but for some, it is not. But we still take care of them.
@@pattychristie1713 Hello,
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this matter. I appreciate the opportunity to engage in a constructive conversation about such an important topic. I completely understand that everyone's experience with their parents may vary, and not everyone has the same positive memories or nurturing environment as I do. I apologize if my comment seemed insensitive or dismissive of those who have faced difficulties with their parents.
When it comes to taking care of our elderly parents, it's essential to remember that individual circumstances differ, and each person's decision will depend on various factors. I believe it's crucial for each person to assess their unique situation and make a choice that aligns with their personal values and capacity for caregiving.
It's important to acknowledge that there are resources available for those who may not be able or willing to provide direct care for their parents, such as professional caregivers or assisted living facilities. These options can help ensure that the elderly receive the care they need while allowing individuals to establish healthy boundaries based on their own needs and experiences.
Once again, I apologize if my earlier comment came across as inconsiderate or judgmental. It's essential for us to respect and understand the diverse experiences and choices of others when it comes to such a deeply personal topic. I hope that we can continue to engage in open and supportive conversations about caregiving and the complexities it entails.
Wishing you all the best,
My Parents have been married 68 years, I've moved back to my home town to help them and be close to them. I don't think one will last long without the other. Some days it's fun other days not so much but I'm glad to be near them and do what I'm able. Timely reminder rabbi thank you.
Same to you ❤
Thank you Rabbi Simon Jacobson, this was comforting. I cared for my mother prior to her passing as she lived with me for 18 years once her husband passed away. I was a bit confused because I didn’t know my mother at all prior to her coming to live with me. I was raised by my grandparents. But I also knew that one day she would need me and I knew I would be there for her. I was there for her and cared for her even though she was never here for me. I honored her because she gave life to me.
Keeping us disciplined and loving... Our Rabbi!
Thank you for all your teachings Rabbi Jacobs.
You're appreciated
Malik ,from South Africa.
Thank you so much rabbi for your touching lecture....God bless you abundantly....your lecture today bring tears to my eyes....
Thank you -- your talk expressed what I feel in my heart about having been my parents' primary caregiver; indeed it was an honor and I'm grateful despite the numerous and serious challenges I encountered.
It was my greatest honor to care for my mom. It was love not duty or an obligation. Nothing I wouldn't do for her.
Absolutely. Of course we should take care of our parents the best we can. Of all the people in the world you need family and your people.
I took care of my Mom with Alzheimers and I worked full time. I would do it again.
Wow God bless u
@@africanqueenmo Thank you. She was my very best friend.
I took care of my dad. He passed away January 19th though. My answer to this without listening to the video first. If you got the time and amount of good help do it. But if you don't have the right help and you really busy, it's understandable if you can't help your elderly parents
Thank you. So. Much. For. Your Information. I love my mom. Very much.She has been living with. Extremely bad Dementia for 12 years. I love being her full time care giver ‘. It gives me great joy. Everyday is a new challenge, I do everything for her because she always has done everything for me. I always tell her everything 😂I know she’s gone but her soul is still there. I try my best to honor her I will. Always love her. It’s hard to loose someone that has given you life to watch there’s slip away day by day. I. Really appreciate your videos. GOD BLESS YOU😊
Thanks MLC for so graciously sharing ❤.
My parents live in NJ and I live in FL. I have been asking them for 20 years to move closer to me so I can take care of them as they age. Year after year they stubbornly refused to make any plan for their future. Now Dad is confined to a bed, and Mom wants me to move to NJ so I can take care of them. It would mean leaving my husband and walking away from responsibilities in my own home. I feel like it's wrong to abandon my husband in favor of my parents - especially when they had so many years to plan for this. Please pray for me friends... I don't know what to do.
Sending love from Alabama. My mother has age related needs and I understand the push - pull dynamic between parent and adult child. I'm sorry you are going through this.
@@PaintedShovel Thank you for your kind words, my friend ❤
YES .... we do out of compassion
I needed to hear this message to my brother I take care of my elderly mother thanks my brother God bless
Rabbi I want to thank you for your insight on taking care of parents. This is a monumental task that I am deeply appreciative but there are days that are extremely difficult.
I give my life to my parents as I cherish the ability to take care of them in this point in life.
If your parents took care of you as a child, then by God yes you are obligated to care for them when they grow old
I try to help as much as possible.
Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’
This is a similar teaching to Buddism. Thank you for providing such a profound lesson! 💙💙💙
Thank you for this beautiful teaching. I cared for my parents for many years as they aged into their 90s until their deaths, and I am still deeply drawn to care for the adults who nurtured, taught, and comforted me as a child. I have been almost equally praised and criticized by others for this impulse. Neither point of view concerns me, as I feel I am only doing what seems to be the correct response. As this impulse arises from a deeply intuitive place within as if it is written on the back of my heart where I cannot see it, I was moved to tears by your explanation of this yearning's relationship to honoring Life and our Creator. It is as if you were reading the commandment from my heart to my analytical self, and it brought me great comfort to understand it in this light.
sure, it is the first commandment with promise! HaleluYah!
Thank you.
And very blessed to have you all and all you do. Thank you!
Thank you so much Rabbi, I'm honoring God by doing my best with mom. I could say so much negativity about her, but I've chosen to give it to God. But, I can't lie, there are moments of crippling pain that leave me feeling dead for days, I'm so tired now. I appreciate you giving me clarity that I'm on the right track which helps me to detach and see things for the way they are, not how they should have been
Great message we all get older some parents and spouses develop various dementia symptoms and issues regardless we should still embrace them in love and kindness stretching our souls and sometimes our own health I miss my father even though he was very flawed I took the best of him to be honored❤😢😊
I believe that I'm not obligated but it's my morale obligation to do so. It's from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you , Rabbi, for sharing this teaching.
Have a lot to think about..
I took care of both mine. Many years I gave up but they took care of me and .y rebellious years. It was my duty to care for them.
Thank you so much it a powerful teaching God bless you 🇯🇲
Thank you, rabbi. These words have affirmed a difficult decision I made. They are a needed comfort.
Thank you
No words are enough to express my gratitude on this topic.
Amen! So important and may we know only simchas with the coming of Moshiach now!
This is wisdom I will share. Thank you
Thank you! ❤
Caring for loved ones is difficult but it pays more than any other job on earth, it pays to the soul which no one can touch but GOD. I took care of my in-laws then later my parents and I remember feeling cheated out of life yet looking back now I see how GOD blessed my life. I learned so much about myself and also about God and His great merciful care of us.
You mentioned other programs in your website regarding honoring parents who were abusive. Could you link to those teachings? I have looked on the website but am unable to find them. Thank you!
This is a very beautiful video. I loved the story about the bird as my mother was doing the same thing- asking me what that word meant on the shirt that I was wearing over and over :)) I love you, mom and I wished that I could hear you asking me that again. As for me, taking care of my mother was easy. She was a beautiful person. Just like everything else in life, you have to love what you are doing, otherwise, it will be a chore. I loved taking care of my mother since she is a treasure and funny in so many ways. She makes me smile and laugh every moment that I was with her. I miss her so much. I miss her so very much. :((((( I very much look forward to the day when I get to take care of her again. Thanks to her love, I found spirituality and possibly even religion after her passing. Thank you, mother for allowing me the opportunity to take care of you.
This was very timely for me as I'm dealing with this right now, thank you
ONLY honor your parents if they honored YOU. If they abandoned you the moment you turned 18 after spending your entire childhood ignoring your need for braces, failing to arrange for your college education, telling you THEY bought THEIR first car...Always telling you you'll never amount to nothing. Actively seeing to it that you won't. Stamp the dust of their house from your feet on their door mat as you leave. Don't associate with even ONE distant relative or friend. Go make something of yourself while they wonder if you're alive or dead. Then when they're ready to die looking for someone to treat them good or else they won't get these hand-me downs of garbage...Tell them: "I'll pray down at ya honey! I hear it's rough down there!" and leave for another 50 years.
It is a true joy and a gift to learn my parents.
beautiful insight via stories. Love your families.
Thank you for this clear light on this. I understand how blessed I have been.
Yes. I did, my mother requested that only I be her nurse during her later years. Being my parents parent was hard but, worth while. I honored her very wish. It left me with a sense of who I can be when push comes to shove.
Thank-you kind gentleman. I love all your talks. 🩵💛🩵
I always believed caring for our parents in old age was a natural heart centered choice. My mother strangely said often growing up, I will never live with any of you, I wont let any of you take care of me, I will be fine. It was hurtful to hear this as a child. Four years ago my parents removed me from their will because I don’t belong to their religion. I have always been kind and generous to them. Paid their property taxes when in arrears, filled their oil tank, repaired their vehicle when they didnt have enough funds to do so. Even tho I was a single mom, and raising four children and really had no extra funds. I forgive and release every day and choose to remain kind, loving, and respectful to them. My parents denied me an education at any school and it has always been a desperate struggle to survive. I choose every day to remain in gratitude and count my blessings anyway. We were moved 36 times by my 18th birthday. I still wish to bless my parents. They have pushed me away so many times. This is hard to listen to, even tho I don’t disagree in any way.
They are pushing you away for a reason. They have given birth to you once. They are giving birth to you every day of their lives. Pushing you away is a natural part of that process. They want you to LIVE YOUR LIFE.❤
Sending healing love and light.💫💜🙏 I understand.
I'm a bit like a cat. When I know I'm going to die, I go off to a lonely place, lie down and wait for death to come. I've been alone for 40 years. I can't see anyone coming to my bedside when I'm ready to die. I'm getting weaker by the day. I wish I had a tall tree house open to the birds or some other place to just lay down and be thankful for my life.
We are Commanded to honor our parents, in life and death. HaShem didn't Command that we honor them until death.
Yes, it is a blessing to give back to our parents in their ripened years by taking care of their needs. Do so willingly and lovingly, not only for them and you but moreover, for HaShem.
Yes.
Thank you! I really needed that.❤
Such an important topic. Thank you for your wisdom.
Does this need to be asked?
I agree it is hard to do, but please, please, do the best you can!
Are babies easy?
I took care of my dad until he passed away in January 2023. I was his caregiver for 8 years. I helped him with his medication, medical appointments, walking, getting him lunch, etc. It was not a burden to me. My parents took good care of me and my brothers and sisters when we were younger. Now I take care of my mom. She is 86 and still in good health, but I promised her I would never put her in a nursing home. I live with both my parents all of my life. I am single, never married and no children, so it is easy for me to take care of them. I know that what I am doing is pleasing to God.
Thank you for this discussion on this topic. I'm currently going through this situation of caring for my elderly mother & father.
you made me cry
Yes. We must.
I respect your opinion & your right to have it by this really should be considered on a case by case basis. I won’t go into my situation but if you knew about it, I’m not sure you’d hold your firm opinion.
I would actually like to have a relationship with my mother and would be more than happy to house & look after her financially & see her daily. This is despite EVERYTHING.
Why? Because it’s not her fault the way she is.
The only thing I blame her for is being irresponsible. If you don’t want children have an abortion or use protection.
It’s not lost on me either my reaction when you mention that a “long life” is the reward for doing so.
Young generations today, many of us don’t consider the prospect of living a long life being a positive one. It’s actually terrifying, for a multitude of reasons in almost every aspect of life.
So my overall feeling about this discussion is, ivory towers.
I agree, I'm not as irresponsible as them and won't be bringing any children into this messed up world, if only my parents were just as wise.
@r1234233 It's why humans will eventually wipe ourselves out. That mental attitude plus lots of catastrophe, wars etc. No one wants to bring life, for fear they get blamed for it, for fear of becoming a burden, fear of kids turning out to be monsters, fear of having to put your kids through what you have been through. On top of that, cost of living, expenditures hard to cope. Yes, it's why we hardly want to bring life into this world. We let our fears control and dictate our lives too much.
Yes it is an honor❤
Yes we are obligated to help our parents. We have to make sure that they have enough medicine and food 👍🏻
It is not easy because you have to deal with it emotionally, physically and mentally. It well affect you in so many ways you will be always anxious outside thinking about her. I do take good care of my 86 years old mother since my father died 11 years ago. Sometimes, It is tiring because you have sleep deprivation when you need it the most especially when she doesn't know her schedule and not concern with your wellbeing anymore. You sacrifice a lot for that matter even working schedule are affected. I quit working and find something to do in order to do the task on her while working.
Beautiful message
The roles become reversed. Our parents birth us into this life. Later, WE birth THEM into their next life. WE become 'pregnant' with our elderly parents, we nurture, we labour and we see them through the door from this life to the next. ❤
Then I should probably abuse my parents into mental illness and neglect them. Throw money at them and make them figure it for themselves.
yes we are
yes....
I am struggling with this one. My father passed away when I was at a young age. The roles switched where I went to look after my mom and brother. In this regard I feel I already repaid the commandment. I would appreciate your thoughts 🙏🏽
Imo, I don't think one's duty unto one's parents ends when we say....rather the Commandment "honor your father and mother" doesn't have a timeline, in fact, even in death, we honor them. By this I mean, not only taking care of their needs, but gratitude shown unto them for giving life. Do you know what I do now that my parents have both passed? I give to those less fortunate in honour of my parents, for giving me life.
Hope that makes sense...take care.
Yes We Are🥰🙏🏻🤲🏻🫶🏻❤️🎈🌹✨🪷🕊️🌸🌷💐🎂Love As no age 🥰✨Amen🥰Love U Rabbi😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰
I believe it's part of the law of the universe to care for our aging parents!!
how about the narcissistic ones?
@@sisiftantal2733 If we look at the behavior of people to determine whether we serve that which as been placed before us, I believe we miss the opportunity to be better people or better humans.
Although we working out our perfection on this physical place called earth; the word said Matthew 5:48 (KJV) Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
So I believe yes to your question "even the narcissist one"
@@abipaye2348 no thanks,by the way, religion is dark of the mind ...
@@sisiftantal2733 lol! I'm talking about spirituality and not religion. Most church does not even get what I'm talking about only spiritual people. Thank you!!
@abipaye2348 hypocrite,as all so called spiritul people...
Kinda disturbed at the "lock away" comment. Sometimes it's necessary to unload some of the responsibility in long term care on a paid facility. I cannot take care of my elderly mother and keep a roof over my head. I don't have a job where I can work from home.
Sometimes getting nursing/long term care assistance IS honor because the medical community does it a whoooole lot better than I can.
If someone wants to do that, great, pat yourself on the back for your martyrdom.... but "honor" isn't cookie-cutter compatible for everyone.
I was hoping the answer was no.
Choose Life.
When an entitled parent thinks our caregiving is an obligation, instead of a loving gift; the outcome will not be good.
I don't feel obligated, but I do feel compelled to help as much as possible. My parents didn't feel obligated to raise me and of course me and all of my siblings became alcoholics due to lack of coping skills. I got sober and have been sober for 12 years. I'm only starting to develop coping skills at 42. Id argue that any care or aid I render is strictly for the sake of my own conscience and purely selfishly motivated inorder to be at peace with myself
If they can't help themselves and have enabled you your whole life because it's "traditional" even when you tried to get some space and now you have little skill because you're so behind and they want to take care of you. No. They didn't birth slaves to take care of them if they aren't putting effort and letting the weight rest on your conscience, who they've conditioned since birth. They are owed respect and checkups but they aren't owed having your life and your chances of having your own family ruined because of the way their behavior shaped you. You can have compassion without scrapping your life.
At least that's my cursory understanding of the way respecting your parents is put forth in the Torah. Also generally sound with Jewish custom being so family oriented. You see it all the time with Jewish guilt inducing mothers who can clearly do more to help themselves can't seem to let go at great damage to their children's chances of integrating into the world. Especially now with everything devolving into chaos, and especially for those who have no affiliation. Rabbi, if you're reading this, I'm curious regarding your thoughts on this kind of selfish martyrdom that some parents engage in to exploit compassion and stoke the guilt they've literally conditioned you with. Thank you.
Yes before even watching the video yes. Even if for no other reason than we will be old one day. Would we not want to foster respect, care and kindness for the old people that we will become? A selfish reason perhaps but a powerful one.
When by default, a mother takes care of her unborn, newborn, and children, plus walking produces new breath that delves deep plus new strength is accompanied with longsuffering walks, it is only fair to take care of the elders. An elder that will not walk especially when a strong adult and technology is about will have to settle for what comes their way. The only thing I won't do is send my mother to a nursing or care home nor will I let somebody else take care of her who is not my sister, her relative under close inspection. I will walk with my mother and will walk according to her pace.
what if your parent neglected to do anything to look after you when you needed it? am i still obliged to give care to a parent that wasn't a parent??
Just ignore the rabbi. He does love his platitudes.
What if parents refuse the help?
Heck yeah
An abusive parent is another issue.
Depends.
Yes. They cared for you.
We are.
Parents can lose their honor. They don't qualify automatically.
Donald Owsley - "What does the bible mean to honor your parents?"