Michael Palascak: Parenting Isn't A Full Time Job, It's An Internship

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 228

  • @slaughterhouse5309
    @slaughterhouse5309 6 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    "Maybe you should look at your argument one more time." Nailed it!

    • @k9dogtraining
      @k9dogtraining 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Love it! Virgin birth; why not gay birth :)

    • @AZOffRoadster
      @AZOffRoadster 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      k9dogtraining
      Pretty painful for the guys.

    • @k9dogtraining
      @k9dogtraining 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      😜

  • @lagaman11
    @lagaman11 6 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    ..."I'm not saying that kids aren't worth it, I'm just saying that they cost more than they're worth". ROTFLMAO!!! Truer words have never been spoken!!!

    • @applehappyx-files2456
      @applehappyx-files2456 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      lagaman11 i was like That’s right!!!! 😂

    • @MsMorganGirls
      @MsMorganGirls ปีที่แล้ว

      Now that my kids are grown, I'm hoping to get something back on my investment (time and love) in my children. We'll see how I did.

    • @INTERNATIONALvids
      @INTERNATIONALvids ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@MsMorganGirls
      You raised human capital for other institutions to exploit. I promise you, others will get far more benefits from your offspring than you.
      Modern parenting is a scam.

  • @breath888
    @breath888 6 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    When he said 13 years, I yelled "10 YEARS", and he goes, "Ten to thirteen years" lmaooooooo

  • @Churificcom
    @Churificcom 6 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    NOT A FREE RIDE TO THE AIRPORT!!!!

  • @veemacks7255
    @veemacks7255 6 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    That "you hold onto your opinion" bit, too good.

  • @SailingSeignior
    @SailingSeignior 6 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    He’s kinda got that silly & stupid comedy routine going. It’s good. I like it. Hope he’s on again.

    • @nahor88
      @nahor88 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Stephen finally got a decent comedian, HE LISTENED!!!

    • @KO-OG-Passport-Bro-1997
      @KO-OG-Passport-Bro-1997 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, dude is pretty damn funny..good delivery

    • @Peter.Sky.Walker
      @Peter.Sky.Walker 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      This comment was a roller-coaster ride.

  • @nahuelma97
    @nahuelma97 6 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    "I believe in Virgin Mary; I can believe in gay Mark" lmao 😂😂😂

    • @juanpablorobayo3437
      @juanpablorobayo3437 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Nahuel Martínez I’m a gay catholic, I’m gonna aim for a boyfriend called mark so we can make a soul-energy baby and baptize it for the good Lord

    • @Think_For_Yourself_
      @Think_For_Yourself_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So they both liars!

  • @wonsup3
    @wonsup3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Smart, Witty, Insightful Humor without the crass language. Truly a lost art form. Well done Michael!

  • @Borderlines
    @Borderlines 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    Lmao I'm not taking your 2 cents.

  • @lazyperfectionist1
    @lazyperfectionist1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    "How are you running this company?"
    "I have the best people. The _best_ people."

  • @barbarawatkins4422
    @barbarawatkins4422 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    He's so right about the parenting and kids.

  • @LithiumThiefMusic
    @LithiumThiefMusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This guy is one of the funniest comics featured on the Late Show this year!

    • @LithiumThiefMusic
      @LithiumThiefMusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ...? do you mean to imply that you think I'm a robot, or a shill, or what exactly?

    • @LithiumThiefMusic
      @LithiumThiefMusic 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean, I've got over a year's worth of video content posted on my channel, most of which include video of me, so I'd say it's pretty clear that I'm not a robot, and as for shilling, I mean I'd gladly accept a paycheck for this, but no. I posted my comment because that's what I think. There are a lot of mediocre comics who get featured on TLSwSC, and this guy was actually really funny. Simple as that. Sorry if my overly-formal speech patterns confused you; I do have Asperger's disorder, so I tend to use very rigid speech. But no, neither a robot nor a shill.

  • @citaayeni9454
    @citaayeni9454 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Damn! He's good! I've not laughed this hard in a while for a guest stand-up on this show.

  • @Mus1c1luv
    @Mus1c1luv 6 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    He’s got the parenting timelines down!😉

    • @breath888
      @breath888 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Totally! :)

  • @rey187
    @rey187 6 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    Good job. Many folks don't realise just how nerve-wracking it is to be a stand-up comedian.

    • @breath888
      @breath888 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nor a parent, lol! I love his style of delivery and the worried facial expressions. I'd go see him live, and I don't even like sitting still for long!

    • @Peter.Sky.Walker
      @Peter.Sky.Walker 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Parents shouldn't have kids. They should have comedians.

  • @hickyxnicky411
    @hickyxnicky411 6 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Really good, and great delivery. He was really funny, needs a netflix show.

  • @mholber
    @mholber 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    i like how this bit highlights the difference between money and value

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mike Holberger how do you mean?

    • @Peter.Sky.Walker
      @Peter.Sky.Walker 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He's saying that kids aren't worth the money they're printed on.

  • @Borderlines
    @Borderlines 6 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    This guy is brilliant omg that religion joke is super smart. Omfg

    • @captlanc
      @captlanc 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      A2 I know right, especially the part about Virgin Mary and Gay Mark.

    • @westond
      @westond 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wicked smaht

  • @dremid4456
    @dremid4456 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Also have to say that - for whatever reason - something abt his delivery reminds me of Michelle Wolf, like the cadence or accent; quite funny/cute, and it's refreshing to see a straight male comedian who's like OK w/ not being super masculine

    • @margoelizabethmiller
      @margoelizabethmiller 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think it's a "laziness" in their speech patterns. I noticed that right away with him and didn't connect it to MW till I read your comment. It's especially evident in how he ends his sentences.

    • @jvmtube
      @jvmtube 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      good observation. same as margoelizabethmiller I wouldn't have made the comparison without your comment, but now that you mention it ....!

    • @GundamGokuTV
      @GundamGokuTV 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Kind of wished they had given him a stool to sit on and a mic. Cause he looked real awkward just standing there.

    • @edstirling
      @edstirling 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      i had rancid milk in my coffee last week that reminded me of michelle wolf's delivery.

  • @enzorocha2977
    @enzorocha2977 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Great timing and delivery, winner right here.

  • @ermanodigiorgio306
    @ermanodigiorgio306 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    CRUSHED IT

  • @puppypoo1978
    @puppypoo1978 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    He headlines at the Jukebox Comedy Club about twice a year, he’s a favorite and a favorite of the local comics.

  • @kristieiswaitin
    @kristieiswaitin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    He’s right about kids lol

  • @Thando_Khumalo
    @Thando_Khumalo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "Am a practicing Catholic, I haven't been in any games yet" 😂😂😂 took me a second to get that one

  • @tenacious645
    @tenacious645 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    One of the few stand ups on these late night shows that was actually funny

    • @edstirling
      @edstirling 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      my thoughts exactly.

  • @adsensedd
    @adsensedd 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He's probably the best standup I've seen on Colbert this year. So many of them bomb. Hard gig to do.

  • @MarStam95
    @MarStam95 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Even though the themes ‘girlfriend’ and ‘religion’ have been done many times, his content is original! Bravo! I love it 😂

  • @elizabethkrafnick5466
    @elizabethkrafnick5466 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Really liked this guy!!!

  • @gingernoise711
    @gingernoise711 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Finally! Something good on Colbert.

  • @alexamerri2
    @alexamerri2 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Mitch Hedburg style lines and delivery.

  • @nTrophy
    @nTrophy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the better ones I've seen on the show. Solid material and great delivery 👍

  • @bracketvilletexas
    @bracketvilletexas 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hold on to your two cents😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 she never been broken up before 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍 Love him. First time seeing him.lol

  • @samanjj
    @samanjj 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He is awesome

  • @JaceCavacini
    @JaceCavacini 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I don't usually dig the stand up comedians in the show, but this guy's delivery was great and the jokes were funny without relying on tired relationship or gender cliches/stereotypes so many still seem to rely on.

  • @paddleduck5328
    @paddleduck5328 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    For 13 years...lmao...so true. Gets better around 18 usually tho 😄

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Paddle Duck - Does it? That gives me hope. My son announced at four that I was ruining his life (forcing him to pick up toys)...I can’t say much has changed in the years that have followed. Except that their angst becomes darker and their toys pricier

    • @maryanneslater9675
      @maryanneslater9675 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think what got us through it was that we told our boys that we knew they were responsible and intelligent and would make good choices. That hobbled the little buggers. We also let them talk back as long as they were logical and/or witty. I got more belly laughs than the urge to throttle them, and that's a win.

    • @paddleduck5328
      @paddleduck5328 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Maryanne Slater, lol good point. Some kids are definitely more dramatic than others. They each have their own personalities. But patience, understanding and humor go a long way.
      Good luck to all parents of teens. It gets better. That separation from the parent is a process of normal development, as painful and perplexing as it can be. Just try not to take it personally (easier said than done sometimes for sure).
      I just remember how much grief I gave my folks, and then thanked them in my twenties for being good parents and loving me through it all. With all the huge mistakes I made that they were trying to save me from making.

    • @maryanneslater9675
      @maryanneslater9675 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Paddle Duck -- My fledglings have mostly left the nest (I'm still getting them to take their stuff with them) and it's a little scary watching them do their own thing. One worked himself to a frazzle last year starting a business with a partner (and expanding already and I'm impressed). Another has thrown himself wholeheartedly into being the stepdad of an energetic toddler (not yet two) and is trying to stay one step ahead of the little smarty pants. You know how parents count to three to get a kid to stop doing something he knows he shouldn't, with a time out if he carries on? Yesterday as soon as my son said, "One," the little guy proudly finished, "Two! Tree!" Discipline, schmiscipline. You just have to laugh.

  • @bigm1tch
    @bigm1tch 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Best Late Show stand-up yet!

  • @judyoliverwest9467
    @judyoliverwest9467 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That was great! The best description of parenthood EVER!!!

  • @TCt83067695
    @TCt83067695 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    4:17 The way he says 'what happened?' reminds me of mitch hedberg

  • @GetaPetaHome
    @GetaPetaHome 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I LOVE you Michael Palascak! Good Job, AGAIN. You do a great job, even in small venues.

  • @simonrandall5471
    @simonrandall5471 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My God. This guy is actually funny.

  • @SuperSojourn
    @SuperSojourn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He's good. Honest, Refreshing, and challenging. I hope he too always has "those dates booked".

  • @djwillbryan
    @djwillbryan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Simple yet clever!

  • @user-cv3fu6xv5c
    @user-cv3fu6xv5c 6 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    The stony-faced audience members are regretful parents who wish they hadn’t had kids and feel called out. Birth control is super important!

    • @Jarboe420
      @Jarboe420 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ikr,lol.

    • @Jarboe420
      @Jarboe420 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Go back to bed hater.

    • @str8
      @str8 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nah... Those are the only parents who like their kids ;)

    • @Jarboe420
      @Jarboe420 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      @MrChrisMDong, ok I'm going to give you that, but I thought he was spot on with parenting jokes since I have 3 rugrats - 29,18 &16 so I can relate to his monologue. I thought you were being kinda harsh but it is you're opinion of which yes you are entitled too.So I will take back my comment since this is your first time on the interwebs.

    • @maimonaalsharif8505
      @maimonaalsharif8505 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am a parent and he made me laugh. But not because I hate being a parebt. It's the best unpaid internship.

  • @TNM001
    @TNM001 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    really good, liked it

  • @MarStam95
    @MarStam95 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I laughed out loud 😂😂 this is so damn funny!

  • @claytonis1
    @claytonis1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very good! I laughed out loud at every punch-line!
    I also liked how his shirt kinda matched the background.

  • @audiotinker
    @audiotinker 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great job! Hilarious and loved it.

  • @kaivickers166
    @kaivickers166 6 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    He’s wrong though. Babies do not love you, they are pure takers, from being parasitic fetuses to toddlers who break your favorite things. My husband tells the kids that he doesn’t answer to his slave name. Daddy 😂

    • @vuksgitau
      @vuksgitau 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Kai Vickers you're husband is funny.

    • @debbiemarquis3231
      @debbiemarquis3231 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kai Vickers ...now this is funny...lol

    • @Dumpknoedel
      @Dumpknoedel 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Slave name Daddy... man that sounds kinky

    • @DerShermanator
      @DerShermanator 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      MrChrisMDong Think it through- the would be comedian goes up on an open mic night, doesn't have what it takes, but tries it anyway because of this youtube comment and bombs horribly, and likely ends her comic career, or has what it takes and, again, because of this youtube comment, sticks with it. Then, 15 or 20 years from now, the scandal that back in 2018, she cribbed a joke from some relevant comedian in a youtube comment and BAM immediately scorned out of the world of comedy, her life in shambles, 20 years of work, gone in an instant! You will have your revenge either way, my friend. Bide your time.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Holy Christ. I’m not suicidal or considering a job in stand-up. Thanks though for the kind words planning my career path.

  • @jeremyjay1000
    @jeremyjay1000 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Smart jokes. Nothing better than those.

  • @Diana-ze8wu
    @Diana-ze8wu 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    😂 this resonates deeply. Thanks for the laughs

  • @warren52nz
    @warren52nz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I can't believe that as a fan of comedy, I haven't heard of this guy. He's great!

  • @outsidesmoking9805
    @outsidesmoking9805 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I watched this last night and loved him, so funny!🤣

  • @babycakes2077
    @babycakes2077 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Adorable!

  • @QuiteRight.
    @QuiteRight. ปีที่แล้ว

    Epic level of FUNNY… damn clever too… I couldn't even laugh 😳 stunned by the BRILLIANCE I think

  • @GerydB
    @GerydB 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    man he's hillarious

  • @alexdefatte5202
    @alexdefatte5202 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Instantly loved him. He comes in off beat but is brilliant.

  • @shazbotgaming7576
    @shazbotgaming7576 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg.

  • @AlanWinterboy
    @AlanWinterboy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    LOL if I can believe in the Virgin Mary I can believe in Gay Mark!

  • @Donika691
    @Donika691 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    procreating shouldn't be a rule to get married, what about adoption? what about people who are just infertile? are they saying infertile people can't get married? Marriage should be for love and having children should be their choice, also adoption shouldn't be seen as lesser than biological. There are many children in the world who need love. Also he's a funny guy :D

  • @ursaltydog
    @ursaltydog 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    An absolutely truth at 6:30... :)

  • @TrishTruitt
    @TrishTruitt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Love for 10-13 years" LOL. This guy is funny. Low-key but it creeps up on you.

  • @nazb33
    @nazb33 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The timing in his delivery was perfect. His punchlines didn't punch...... They grazed.... As Eddie Murphy once said that getting kicked in the balls hurts, but what really lasts longer is when you get grazed at the nuts.... I loved this guys performance 100%.
    Thumb up...... I'd say "thumbs up" but I'm holding my phone with my other hand😅😄😆

  • @SandraNelson063
    @SandraNelson063 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like this guy!

  • @kwilson6544
    @kwilson6544 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Killed it!

  • @loraxpro
    @loraxpro 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Super funny. 2 for 2 (videos that is). I'm going to binge watch Michael Palascak now!

  • @aruljothikamalbabu563
    @aruljothikamalbabu563 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He is good ..

  • @LuckyDucky47
    @LuckyDucky47 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    More please

  • @FD_and_B
    @FD_and_B 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    looks like someone's dad went as beck bennett for halloween. pretty funny tho

  • @jasonadkins6926
    @jasonadkins6926 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Best guy I've seen on the show easily

  • @macaro28
    @macaro28 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love this guy

  • @erikakane2711
    @erikakane2711 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Horrible unpaid internship. Which movie is that from? Anyone remember ??

  • @Lillykerubo01
    @Lillykerubo01 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love it!!... Too funny 😂

  • @sneha1207
    @sneha1207 ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome guy 👏👏👏

  • @bowietsang920
    @bowietsang920 6 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    All those disliked must be from the Catholics... He is really funny

    • @Mango-de8xk
      @Mango-de8xk 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      i'm catholic it's pretty great tho

  • @AspenBusinessConnect
    @AspenBusinessConnect 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Let's get you out to Aspen again Michael!

  • @KO-OG-Passport-Bro-1997
    @KO-OG-Passport-Bro-1997 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Dude is pretty damn funny to me

  • @scubardiveshop1389
    @scubardiveshop1389 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    he's hilarious

  • @eduardoandres5989
    @eduardoandres5989 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    haha not bad......hope he keeps at it and get some more material

  • @thomasraywood679
    @thomasraywood679 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The contorting of science and religion. Genius.

  • @mena376
    @mena376 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    finally Colbert got a good stand up

  • @MisterTingles
    @MisterTingles 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can hear Blake Wexler laughing in the crowd...

  • @reneelibby4885
    @reneelibby4885 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I love smart comedy.

  • @jmisc
    @jmisc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    he is good

    • @jmisc
      @jmisc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      even Stephen Colbert enjoyed it obviously, never seen him smiled that wide in this segment series.

  • @tmarcia83
    @tmarcia83 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    1/5 of your net worth 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @dremid4456
    @dremid4456 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ohmygosh, fell in love w/ him at the end, props to Michael for this funny yet pointed commentary. Thought it was just my bias as a gay guy, but then I see the like/dislike ration, glad to see it ain't just me :D

  • @devonlockwood1477
    @devonlockwood1477 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Funny guy!

  • @andyl4822
    @andyl4822 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    3:09 great joke!!

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Very funnyman

  • @isabelgason563
    @isabelgason563 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This guy is funny as can be

  • @Joshua-pt4ny
    @Joshua-pt4ny 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Shout out to Grand Rapids!

  • @EbyKat
    @EbyKat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Marriage is a lot easier if you find someone who is the same religion as you.”
    Basically why my in laws asked my spouse to dump me 7 times in 5 years.
    Sucks to be them cause I’m still around and they have to die eventually.

  • @LadyHashZ
    @LadyHashZ 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for this. It put me to sleep

  • @gwddmt1
    @gwddmt1 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Spot on humor almost a Stephen Wright delivery style without the creepy

  • @rs1960
    @rs1960 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hilarious. That is all.

  • @joseanemaria
    @joseanemaria 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He’s great

  • @starberry22
    @starberry22 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Cute AND funny! :o

  • @luismarrero9674
    @luismarrero9674 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like him.

  • @anoopsamohan
    @anoopsamohan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He was good

  • @lisadee4490
    @lisadee4490 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    his good!

  • @rcppcsk1589
    @rcppcsk1589 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love that last joke. It's true. If a virgin woman could have a baby, why wouldn't a gay man be able to?