..."I'm not saying that kids aren't worth it, I'm just saying that they cost more than they're worth". ROTFLMAO!!! Truer words have never been spoken!!!
@@MsMorganGirls You raised human capital for other institutions to exploit. I promise you, others will get far more benefits from your offspring than you. Modern parenting is a scam.
I mean, I've got over a year's worth of video content posted on my channel, most of which include video of me, so I'd say it's pretty clear that I'm not a robot, and as for shilling, I mean I'd gladly accept a paycheck for this, but no. I posted my comment because that's what I think. There are a lot of mediocre comics who get featured on TLSwSC, and this guy was actually really funny. Simple as that. Sorry if my overly-formal speech patterns confused you; I do have Asperger's disorder, so I tend to use very rigid speech. But no, neither a robot nor a shill.
Also have to say that - for whatever reason - something abt his delivery reminds me of Michelle Wolf, like the cadence or accent; quite funny/cute, and it's refreshing to see a straight male comedian who's like OK w/ not being super masculine
I think it's a "laziness" in their speech patterns. I noticed that right away with him and didn't connect it to MW till I read your comment. It's especially evident in how he ends his sentences.
I don't usually dig the stand up comedians in the show, but this guy's delivery was great and the jokes were funny without relying on tired relationship or gender cliches/stereotypes so many still seem to rely on.
Paddle Duck - Does it? That gives me hope. My son announced at four that I was ruining his life (forcing him to pick up toys)...I can’t say much has changed in the years that have followed. Except that their angst becomes darker and their toys pricier
I think what got us through it was that we told our boys that we knew they were responsible and intelligent and would make good choices. That hobbled the little buggers. We also let them talk back as long as they were logical and/or witty. I got more belly laughs than the urge to throttle them, and that's a win.
Maryanne Slater, lol good point. Some kids are definitely more dramatic than others. They each have their own personalities. But patience, understanding and humor go a long way. Good luck to all parents of teens. It gets better. That separation from the parent is a process of normal development, as painful and perplexing as it can be. Just try not to take it personally (easier said than done sometimes for sure). I just remember how much grief I gave my folks, and then thanked them in my twenties for being good parents and loving me through it all. With all the huge mistakes I made that they were trying to save me from making.
Paddle Duck -- My fledglings have mostly left the nest (I'm still getting them to take their stuff with them) and it's a little scary watching them do their own thing. One worked himself to a frazzle last year starting a business with a partner (and expanding already and I'm impressed). Another has thrown himself wholeheartedly into being the stepdad of an energetic toddler (not yet two) and is trying to stay one step ahead of the little smarty pants. You know how parents count to three to get a kid to stop doing something he knows he shouldn't, with a time out if he carries on? Yesterday as soon as my son said, "One," the little guy proudly finished, "Two! Tree!" Discipline, schmiscipline. You just have to laugh.
@MrChrisMDong, ok I'm going to give you that, but I thought he was spot on with parenting jokes since I have 3 rugrats - 29,18 &16 so I can relate to his monologue. I thought you were being kinda harsh but it is you're opinion of which yes you are entitled too.So I will take back my comment since this is your first time on the interwebs.
He’s wrong though. Babies do not love you, they are pure takers, from being parasitic fetuses to toddlers who break your favorite things. My husband tells the kids that he doesn’t answer to his slave name. Daddy 😂
MrChrisMDong Think it through- the would be comedian goes up on an open mic night, doesn't have what it takes, but tries it anyway because of this youtube comment and bombs horribly, and likely ends her comic career, or has what it takes and, again, because of this youtube comment, sticks with it. Then, 15 or 20 years from now, the scandal that back in 2018, she cribbed a joke from some relevant comedian in a youtube comment and BAM immediately scorned out of the world of comedy, her life in shambles, 20 years of work, gone in an instant! You will have your revenge either way, my friend. Bide your time.
procreating shouldn't be a rule to get married, what about adoption? what about people who are just infertile? are they saying infertile people can't get married? Marriage should be for love and having children should be their choice, also adoption shouldn't be seen as lesser than biological. There are many children in the world who need love. Also he's a funny guy :D
The timing in his delivery was perfect. His punchlines didn't punch...... They grazed.... As Eddie Murphy once said that getting kicked in the balls hurts, but what really lasts longer is when you get grazed at the nuts.... I loved this guys performance 100%. Thumb up...... I'd say "thumbs up" but I'm holding my phone with my other hand😅😄😆
ohmygosh, fell in love w/ him at the end, props to Michael for this funny yet pointed commentary. Thought it was just my bias as a gay guy, but then I see the like/dislike ration, glad to see it ain't just me :D
“Marriage is a lot easier if you find someone who is the same religion as you.” Basically why my in laws asked my spouse to dump me 7 times in 5 years. Sucks to be them cause I’m still around and they have to die eventually.
"Maybe you should look at your argument one more time." Nailed it!
Love it! Virgin birth; why not gay birth :)
k9dogtraining
Pretty painful for the guys.
😜
..."I'm not saying that kids aren't worth it, I'm just saying that they cost more than they're worth". ROTFLMAO!!! Truer words have never been spoken!!!
lagaman11 i was like That’s right!!!! 😂
Now that my kids are grown, I'm hoping to get something back on my investment (time and love) in my children. We'll see how I did.
@@MsMorganGirls
You raised human capital for other institutions to exploit. I promise you, others will get far more benefits from your offspring than you.
Modern parenting is a scam.
When he said 13 years, I yelled "10 YEARS", and he goes, "Ten to thirteen years" lmaooooooo
NOT A FREE RIDE TO THE AIRPORT!!!!
Barnsley
Fc
That "you hold onto your opinion" bit, too good.
He’s kinda got that silly & stupid comedy routine going. It’s good. I like it. Hope he’s on again.
Stephen finally got a decent comedian, HE LISTENED!!!
Yeah, dude is pretty damn funny..good delivery
This comment was a roller-coaster ride.
"I believe in Virgin Mary; I can believe in gay Mark" lmao 😂😂😂
Nahuel Martínez I’m a gay catholic, I’m gonna aim for a boyfriend called mark so we can make a soul-energy baby and baptize it for the good Lord
So they both liars!
Smart, Witty, Insightful Humor without the crass language. Truly a lost art form. Well done Michael!
Lmao I'm not taking your 2 cents.
"How are you running this company?"
"I have the best people. The _best_ people."
Nike
He's so right about the parenting and kids.
This guy is one of the funniest comics featured on the Late Show this year!
...? do you mean to imply that you think I'm a robot, or a shill, or what exactly?
I mean, I've got over a year's worth of video content posted on my channel, most of which include video of me, so I'd say it's pretty clear that I'm not a robot, and as for shilling, I mean I'd gladly accept a paycheck for this, but no. I posted my comment because that's what I think. There are a lot of mediocre comics who get featured on TLSwSC, and this guy was actually really funny. Simple as that. Sorry if my overly-formal speech patterns confused you; I do have Asperger's disorder, so I tend to use very rigid speech. But no, neither a robot nor a shill.
Damn! He's good! I've not laughed this hard in a while for a guest stand-up on this show.
He’s got the parenting timelines down!😉
Totally! :)
Good job. Many folks don't realise just how nerve-wracking it is to be a stand-up comedian.
Nor a parent, lol! I love his style of delivery and the worried facial expressions. I'd go see him live, and I don't even like sitting still for long!
Parents shouldn't have kids. They should have comedians.
Really good, and great delivery. He was really funny, needs a netflix show.
i like how this bit highlights the difference between money and value
Mike Holberger how do you mean?
He's saying that kids aren't worth the money they're printed on.
This guy is brilliant omg that religion joke is super smart. Omfg
A2 I know right, especially the part about Virgin Mary and Gay Mark.
Wicked smaht
Also have to say that - for whatever reason - something abt his delivery reminds me of Michelle Wolf, like the cadence or accent; quite funny/cute, and it's refreshing to see a straight male comedian who's like OK w/ not being super masculine
I think it's a "laziness" in their speech patterns. I noticed that right away with him and didn't connect it to MW till I read your comment. It's especially evident in how he ends his sentences.
good observation. same as margoelizabethmiller I wouldn't have made the comparison without your comment, but now that you mention it ....!
Kind of wished they had given him a stool to sit on and a mic. Cause he looked real awkward just standing there.
i had rancid milk in my coffee last week that reminded me of michelle wolf's delivery.
Great timing and delivery, winner right here.
CRUSHED IT
He headlines at the Jukebox Comedy Club about twice a year, he’s a favorite and a favorite of the local comics.
He’s right about kids lol
"Am a practicing Catholic, I haven't been in any games yet" 😂😂😂 took me a second to get that one
One of the few stand ups on these late night shows that was actually funny
my thoughts exactly.
He's probably the best standup I've seen on Colbert this year. So many of them bomb. Hard gig to do.
Even though the themes ‘girlfriend’ and ‘religion’ have been done many times, his content is original! Bravo! I love it 😂
Really liked this guy!!!
Finally! Something good on Colbert.
Mitch Hedburg style lines and delivery.
One of the better ones I've seen on the show. Solid material and great delivery 👍
Hold on to your two cents😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 she never been broken up before 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍 Love him. First time seeing him.lol
He is awesome
I don't usually dig the stand up comedians in the show, but this guy's delivery was great and the jokes were funny without relying on tired relationship or gender cliches/stereotypes so many still seem to rely on.
For 13 years...lmao...so true. Gets better around 18 usually tho 😄
Paddle Duck - Does it? That gives me hope. My son announced at four that I was ruining his life (forcing him to pick up toys)...I can’t say much has changed in the years that have followed. Except that their angst becomes darker and their toys pricier
I think what got us through it was that we told our boys that we knew they were responsible and intelligent and would make good choices. That hobbled the little buggers. We also let them talk back as long as they were logical and/or witty. I got more belly laughs than the urge to throttle them, and that's a win.
Maryanne Slater, lol good point. Some kids are definitely more dramatic than others. They each have their own personalities. But patience, understanding and humor go a long way.
Good luck to all parents of teens. It gets better. That separation from the parent is a process of normal development, as painful and perplexing as it can be. Just try not to take it personally (easier said than done sometimes for sure).
I just remember how much grief I gave my folks, and then thanked them in my twenties for being good parents and loving me through it all. With all the huge mistakes I made that they were trying to save me from making.
Paddle Duck -- My fledglings have mostly left the nest (I'm still getting them to take their stuff with them) and it's a little scary watching them do their own thing. One worked himself to a frazzle last year starting a business with a partner (and expanding already and I'm impressed). Another has thrown himself wholeheartedly into being the stepdad of an energetic toddler (not yet two) and is trying to stay one step ahead of the little smarty pants. You know how parents count to three to get a kid to stop doing something he knows he shouldn't, with a time out if he carries on? Yesterday as soon as my son said, "One," the little guy proudly finished, "Two! Tree!" Discipline, schmiscipline. You just have to laugh.
Best Late Show stand-up yet!
That was great! The best description of parenthood EVER!!!
4:17 The way he says 'what happened?' reminds me of mitch hedberg
I LOVE you Michael Palascak! Good Job, AGAIN. You do a great job, even in small venues.
My God. This guy is actually funny.
He's good. Honest, Refreshing, and challenging. I hope he too always has "those dates booked".
Simple yet clever!
The stony-faced audience members are regretful parents who wish they hadn’t had kids and feel called out. Birth control is super important!
ikr,lol.
Go back to bed hater.
Nah... Those are the only parents who like their kids ;)
@MrChrisMDong, ok I'm going to give you that, but I thought he was spot on with parenting jokes since I have 3 rugrats - 29,18 &16 so I can relate to his monologue. I thought you were being kinda harsh but it is you're opinion of which yes you are entitled too.So I will take back my comment since this is your first time on the interwebs.
I am a parent and he made me laugh. But not because I hate being a parebt. It's the best unpaid internship.
really good, liked it
I laughed out loud 😂😂 this is so damn funny!
Very good! I laughed out loud at every punch-line!
I also liked how his shirt kinda matched the background.
Great job! Hilarious and loved it.
He’s wrong though. Babies do not love you, they are pure takers, from being parasitic fetuses to toddlers who break your favorite things. My husband tells the kids that he doesn’t answer to his slave name. Daddy 😂
Kai Vickers you're husband is funny.
Kai Vickers ...now this is funny...lol
Slave name Daddy... man that sounds kinky
MrChrisMDong Think it through- the would be comedian goes up on an open mic night, doesn't have what it takes, but tries it anyway because of this youtube comment and bombs horribly, and likely ends her comic career, or has what it takes and, again, because of this youtube comment, sticks with it. Then, 15 or 20 years from now, the scandal that back in 2018, she cribbed a joke from some relevant comedian in a youtube comment and BAM immediately scorned out of the world of comedy, her life in shambles, 20 years of work, gone in an instant! You will have your revenge either way, my friend. Bide your time.
Holy Christ. I’m not suicidal or considering a job in stand-up. Thanks though for the kind words planning my career path.
Smart jokes. Nothing better than those.
😂 this resonates deeply. Thanks for the laughs
I can't believe that as a fan of comedy, I haven't heard of this guy. He's great!
I watched this last night and loved him, so funny!🤣
Adorable!
Epic level of FUNNY… damn clever too… I couldn't even laugh 😳 stunned by the BRILLIANCE I think
man he's hillarious
Instantly loved him. He comes in off beat but is brilliant.
Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg.
LOL if I can believe in the Virgin Mary I can believe in Gay Mark!
procreating shouldn't be a rule to get married, what about adoption? what about people who are just infertile? are they saying infertile people can't get married? Marriage should be for love and having children should be their choice, also adoption shouldn't be seen as lesser than biological. There are many children in the world who need love. Also he's a funny guy :D
An absolutely truth at 6:30... :)
"Love for 10-13 years" LOL. This guy is funny. Low-key but it creeps up on you.
The timing in his delivery was perfect. His punchlines didn't punch...... They grazed.... As Eddie Murphy once said that getting kicked in the balls hurts, but what really lasts longer is when you get grazed at the nuts.... I loved this guys performance 100%.
Thumb up...... I'd say "thumbs up" but I'm holding my phone with my other hand😅😄😆
I like this guy!
Killed it!
Super funny. 2 for 2 (videos that is). I'm going to binge watch Michael Palascak now!
He is good ..
More please
looks like someone's dad went as beck bennett for halloween. pretty funny tho
Best guy I've seen on the show easily
Love this guy
Horrible unpaid internship. Which movie is that from? Anyone remember ??
Love it!!... Too funny 😂
Awesome guy 👏👏👏
All those disliked must be from the Catholics... He is really funny
i'm catholic it's pretty great tho
Let's get you out to Aspen again Michael!
Dude is pretty damn funny to me
he's hilarious
haha not bad......hope he keeps at it and get some more material
The contorting of science and religion. Genius.
finally Colbert got a good stand up
I can hear Blake Wexler laughing in the crowd...
I love smart comedy.
he is good
even Stephen Colbert enjoyed it obviously, never seen him smiled that wide in this segment series.
1/5 of your net worth 🤦🏾♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣
ohmygosh, fell in love w/ him at the end, props to Michael for this funny yet pointed commentary. Thought it was just my bias as a gay guy, but then I see the like/dislike ration, glad to see it ain't just me :D
Funny guy!
3:09 great joke!!
Very funnyman
This guy is funny as can be
Shout out to Grand Rapids!
“Marriage is a lot easier if you find someone who is the same religion as you.”
Basically why my in laws asked my spouse to dump me 7 times in 5 years.
Sucks to be them cause I’m still around and they have to die eventually.
Did they die yet?
Thanks for this. It put me to sleep
Spot on humor almost a Stephen Wright delivery style without the creepy
Hilarious. That is all.
He’s great
Cute AND funny! :o
I like him.
He was good
his good!
I love that last joke. It's true. If a virgin woman could have a baby, why wouldn't a gay man be able to?