Marine Veteran Uncovers Silent Struggles of Post-Service Life
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- On today's episode of Urban Valor, we interview Marine Veteran Matt Stack, who details his life from Miami, Florida, to Eden, North Carolina, and ultimately into the Marine Corps. Inspired by his sister's military career, Matt enlisted in hopes of becoming an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technician (EOD). However, due to a recruiter's misinformation, his path led him to aviation ordnance instead.
Matt shares his perspective as an enlisted Marine during the 9/11 attacks on America, providing listeners with a firsthand account of this pivotal moment in history. He remembers his deployments to Guam and Kuwait, offering insights into the varied experiences of Marine Corps service.
The heart of this episode lies in Matt's perspective on the mental challenges veterans face when reintegrating into civilian society. Drawing from his personal experiences and the research behind his book Killing Chaos, Matt focuses on the often overlooked struggles that accompany post-service life.
This episode of Urban Valor offers an honest look at military service, the impact of global events on service members, and the ongoing battle many veterans face long after their official duties end. Tune in for a discussion on mental health and the crucial importance of understanding and supporting our veterans as they navigate life after service.
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Video Chapters:
0:40 Early Life
08:14 Boot Camp
17:26 Learning the Trade
29:43 Desert Faith
#military #urbanvalor #warstories #martines #marineveteran
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Matt Stack is a stand up guy. What you see here is how he really is. When I was stationed at Pendleton and my wife and I found a local church, Matt and his wife were one of the first to greet us and welcome us. We still keep in touch to this day and I’m proud of you, Matt! God bless 🙏🏼
Awesome to hear
My recruiter was phuckin awesome. He didn't lie to me and everything he said came true. I never got to thank him because he pcs'd before I was able to come home and see him. He helped me out a lot and was the one honest recruiter.
I remember getting to finally wear our Berets. 9 weeks lead up to this and we spent the final week on an FTX with a 14 mile ruck to the Anzio course where we got to kick in doors, and clear rooms and we were finaly moving a unit. I had been sicker than a dog for the previous 3 days I mean a fever so bad I was shaking but I didn't quit, didn't want to say hey I'm sick. My squad was doing or second to last room clearing exercise this time is was a 2 story building and I run up stairs, we stack, I kick in the door, go to my right clear the room I come back to the hallway heading to the other room and then it's lights out for me. I wake up under a water Buffalo with my drill Sgt, trying to wake me up by splashing water on my face as I come.to I try getting up he says stay down, stay down you passed out, youre going to the hospital. I start talking to my battle and ask him what happened and then I hear my drill Sgt say 1st Sgt is taking you to the hospital now leave your gear and weapon I'll take it back for you. I knew it was super serious because our 1st Sgt was a no bs you handle your business type and he had a very worried look on his face and the fact my Drill Sgt said I'll take your gear and weapon. I get in the van and I'm instantly apologizing and he said hey don't worry just get better. You didn't complain, you didn't fuss, you pushed your self harder than anyone else here and still you're trying to push even more. Right now you need to just focus on getting better. I was worried I'd get recycled. I got to the ER took 12 saline IVs and was given some kind of medication then told go to the barracks get some clothing then come back for 24 hours observation. I didn't go back I went and took a shower, put on clean ACUs and marched back out towards the Anzio course to meet up with my PLT and took my gear and weapon from my Drill Sgt. He looked at me like wtf but just handed me my stuff and said fall in soldier. We got back to the Barracks and they told us to go get our Berets then the entire company got in formation and we were told to put them on. That was such a proud moment for me. that was the hardest I've worked for anything up to that point and I loved every minute of it.
Thanks for sharing this with us bro🤙🏼🇺🇸👊🏼
Wow!!!
Enjoyed the read, brother. Proud moment indeed. (You write well, good cadence and story telling. Might want to look into telling more stories like these if you’re not already doing it.)
@@SirBroheem 👊🏻👊🏻
3:52
The one statement someone told me was it takes 5 years to fully transition out of the Marines and that guy was spot on. I did 20 years and retired in 2015 and to be totally honest in 2020 it finally all caught up with me. In the Marines we are taught to move fast. Move direct. Move with purpose. Always be on the ready. When you get out that doesnt stop. I compare it to this. Say your going 100 mph in a car and you hit a brick wall. Do the objects in the car stop moving? Nope they don't. I had to move away from the Marine Corps in order to change. When I retired I stayed around Camp Lejeune and that was my worst mistake. I had to physically remove myself in order to change and thank God I did. It probably saved my life
Absolutely. I lost my shit on how slow the civilian world was, how nothing really mattered, and there's another tomorrow. I eventually settled back into civilian life. Whew. What a ride. Rahh
Thank you for putting so many of my feelings into words. I have sabotaged so much for myself. USMC 11-16, OEF, OIR
👊🏻
This is why my 20 year old wants to go into the service. I asked him why now and he said, It's not about the first 4 years, It's about going for 4 years, coming home and getting my degree so that I can go back in and be a chaplain. These guys have no one to talk to or confide in or look out for them and I feel like that's what I should be doing. And it's true, veterans can't find psychologists psychiatrists or counselors who served. They're all civilians who have no idea what they've been through and so they don't feel that they can open up or share what they've had to do to still be alive.
Psychedelics are a miracle medicine for veterans. PTSD can be dealt with quickly. Underlying trauma must be processed. The Brain healed. Magic mushrooms.
Dude if u could find a way to convert this to Paramedics in the civilian world u could make a larger impact cause no one gets what we see that we can never unsee !!!!!!!!
Professional leadership is a beautiful thing. From both sides. You learn from good examples and non examples.
This shit is something that no one tells you about; you believe ALL you and your brothers are forever, and in a way we are, but for most of us it’s like that meme where all the kids are hanging out around the that little green electrical box. The smoke pit is our little green electric box; we smoked that last cigarette together and didn’t know it was the last time.
It's never over... we're BROTHERS for LIFE! 💯
Yep, suffer the worst things together, EAS and then thats the beginning of the end of those relationships. I just embrace it now and try to enjoy the new friends Ive made.
I really liked the relationship between combat and tough upbringing and honouring the people who sacrificed more! Well said
I walked into the recruiter's office and told them I wanted to be an infantryman and nothing else. After taking the ASVAB the recruiter driving me away from MEPS told me I could do anything in the Corps based on my score, I said I didn't want to be anything other than a grunt. He laughed and said, "Suit yourself dumbass." The recruiters never lied to me. My feeling is that everyone has a very different experience, even guys in the same platoon or battalion. He is 100% correct, I will be a Marine infantryman forever - for better or worse. I was in for 23 years total, deployed multiple times, and have struggled with figuring out how to live a "normal" life, still struggling if I'm honest. I just ordered "Killing Chaos". I am grateful for this episode that isn't just war stories, I enjoy those, but personally I need to move beyond the war somehow.
Normal life has to be what you want it to be. I did three combat tours and had to keep telling myself that my service was part of keeping our freedom and country safe for us and for future generations. Those of us that volunteered held the line on terror for the next generation. Don't focus too much on the politics, only the greater good your made happen.
Matt, I'm deeply grateful for you and to you ❤️ You are so smart. Thank you for all you and your wife are doing.
Feel ya brother, my uncle told me when I left for basic, “I’ll see you in two weeks.”
I was an E-4 and it was a year and a half later when I came back home on leave. 💪🏼🇺🇸
It is through the Light from God that makes none of us Alone. 🙏🏼
😊💫☀️
Great testimony. Thank you for sharing this conversation.
Not a day goes by where I don’t miss the homies… Unfortunately, the Corps will eat their own sometimes. Miss the clowns but I don’t miss the circus. Semper Fi.
Well put brother 🤙🏼 SF
Totally agree. After 20 years of active duty I can truly say I loved it but I loved the divorce more
Always miss the clowns
I went back long after departing the suck and worked as a contractor, best of both worlds. Staying in TLFs in fine places like Oki, K-Bay, the stumps, Carlsbad. Got to roll in, shirt untucked, beard, out of shape, and didn't care. Did not miss PT, wearing Chucks on Fridays or any of that trash .
And got paid better, per diem meals, good suites to stay in. And still got to be with the guys. But then knock off at 4, while they went to field day or formation or crap like that. I was in a hotel room, or site seeing in the rental.
The Corps was the most violent cult to be part of. Good memories but was glad when it was over.
What a great interview. Matt, I'm going to make sure the next generation understands what you did for our freedom. Thank you.
Thanks, got out in 95, still dealing with stuff, but I’m not alone. Appreciate explanation.
Brilliant guy and excellent story.
Oh what you have pointed out about no transitioning process for getting out is so true. Military thrives on chaos, never realized the connection of it to my civilian life. A relationship with Jesus is on point. Thank you from Denver.
This was so good need another episode
Got to love the recruiters. Joined Army Airborne unassigned. After Airborne school. Rangers asked for volunteers. I was first to step forward. I was asked my MOS. Was told I was not a combat mos. I could not go. Recruiter told me I could go Ranger anytime. I was so pissed at my recruiter. Was forced to go to my ordnance support unit. Saw my recruiter for A noc school at Benning. I took his car keys and ran off with them. Threw them into the wood line and ran off 😂
God bless brother! Great message.
55:44 Thank you for your service (and/or sacrifice)
Never having served myself, I've always struggled with that myself, at the risk of sounding preprogrammed like a restaurant cashier asking if everything was okay, who could actually care less. I've tried to find something more original, something that sounded less like a Walmart cashier wishing me Happy Holidays. I think your sentiment is a lot better but, I don't have kids, so I still think, for me, it's better just to leave it unsaid. It's like when someone you don't know finds out that one of your relatives has pass and the automatic, knee jerk reaction is to say, sorry for your loss, no, you're not really sorry, you didn't know them, you don't even know me... fifteen minutes from now, you won't give it another thought
Not only did my recruiter not lie to me, he did me a solid by un-effing my paperwork. I got credit for two getting two others to join from my school (no idea how…one was my brother, no idea who the other one was), but the paperwork/record somehow got lost while I was in the Delayed Entry Program. He caught it and fixed for me, so I was able to come out as a PFC from boot camp. All of the recruiters in the office were straight up in telling me that some parts are gonna suck, so I was under no delusions that it was gonna be all sunshine and rainbows 🌈. If I wanted that, I would have joined the Navy 🏳️🌈! 😅
BS!!
Beautiful, touching account. Peace.
Thank you for listening
Air Force chow halls are so good. They had steak and made to order sub sandwich hot or cold, salmon, steak, shrimp. Same day different lines
Absolutely tremendous. How the Holy Spirit works through people is breathtaking. God bless all your efforts.
Thanks for listening🤙🏼
My answer to the Sand Fleas is when is when I was at Pendleton during 2nd phase I caught Crabs from the shitters. I never said anything to the DI's and those things were eating at my shit until after graduation. I had to endure this torture during Battalion Commanders Inspection. Not even concentrated window cleaner would kill them. True story. Oh by the way, It's better to be a Hollywood Marine than a Backwood Marine.
Nooooo that is brutal
Some grunts in CAX all caught crabs. I was in Camp Wilson when they all came out. 1 guy brought it and they all caught it. The late 1990's. 🤣
Damn this was a beautiful episode. I'm not a vet but had my fair share of childhood trauma and the whole self destruction thing is so true. I'm 28 and thanks to therapy and meds for my anxiety, life is slowly starting to seem exciting and happy again. And i'm definetly looking forward to reading that book!
This is a good man. Thank you bro! Your talk helped me tonight.
A wise man, well said. Thank you for your work. Semper Fidedelis Brother!
16:15 I remember the box thing. Our knowledge hat didn't like seeing us happy eating sandwiches so he made us take it apart and eat it piece by piece lol.
Thank you so much. Rahh.
1996-2000.
Army vet here. We had a saying, "The military teaches you how to wear the uniform, but does tell you how to take it off."
🤔 ???
Did they teach you how to proof read?
@@matth3708 No, but they taught me not to be an A-hole.
@@jamesstaley5611ohhh 🔥
So true my friend! God bless.
Thank you Matt for sharing your story. I to struggled for many years after getting out of MC I was a 0311 and like you said every day life was chaos and just expecting for shit to go bad.i carried that out to the civilian world and abused alcohol and got into many fist fights and just went down a destructive road my mind was doing 110 mph and later on I had to go see a therapist and do all that. I'm doing better today , I've been sober for 8 years.But your story really hit close with me. I hope you're doing good my friend. God bless you and your family. Semper Fi my Brother.
Wow bro. Thank you for sharing. There is a WAY!!!!! God bless you friend. Semper Fi
This is brain food ❤❤❤❤❤ thank you
At 48:10 you comment is the key. The Navajos have a ritual for warriors returning from battle, that deals with it. Cleansing. 😊🙏🏼
I felt this whole talk brother. Semper.
Appreciate you watching brother 🤙🏼
Getting out of the Marines was the worst thing I ever did and when I did it, Ive been lonely, sad, and depressed ever since. But i couldnt imagine living 0311 life forever either. But i have a degree now and almost master's degree. will be done this Dec. But for what, IDK. im also a professional fighter. I just live until tomorrow, then do it again, and again. I ended up getting the 80K job and stuff, changed nothing. Until one day it will be all over, just put Marines on my tombstone and I guess that'll be it. Maybe i can find purpose one day. im only 34 still.
God has a purpose and a plan for you brother. It’s in Him that we find it. All else is like a shell with nothing inside it.
Don't give up. Times ticking. Find an org, connect with other guys who are out.. money won't fix it, booze won't either, I tried that too when got out and after going back in, kept on.
It's a long hard road, but surround yourself with good people. Find a new passion to occupy you. My hobby became my job sort of, I hate whiny ass people (spoiled entitled folks) that I support, but I am good at what I do, and have to make myself go home.. 😂
I definitely relate to you!I was a 0311 also and when I got out,I went down a self destruction road. Just my opinion we will never ever experience the highs and lows we did in Corp.We just have to find are nitch out here in civilian world and find peace. God bless you Brother 🙏 Semper fi
Look for and find Jesus and surrender everything to him. You will feel like a 80 lb weight is lifted off you and you will find joy. It’s not religious, it’s a real thing.
Go into the Reserves!!
Really enjoyed your story man. 👍
Glad you enjoyed it 🤙🏼
👊🏻
great episode
I'm not military at all just listen to so many military stories on utube but all your advice is solid for me & my non mil story - hearing that many of their struggles & reasons for joining started from instability growing up.....holy smokes..... I avoided the military after leaving school because my subconscious knew I was joining completely for the wrong reasons.....one of the few thing I did right in life. I think it was probably last too but hey I'm not pushing up daisies yet 😆👌
Good job. You proved to everyone your tough. Its obvious your a deep thinker and were looking for something and you found it, faith in your own self. Your are doing the very thing you were meant to be doing in life, helping others.
I know exactly where eden NC is. I live in Waynesville NC and left for basic in Waynesville Missouri lol.
I did 4, got out for 5, and then went back again .0311.
Right on. I didn't make it 8 months In civ world. Felt like busted my ass for nothing and came home to nothing, no one understood except my buddy who was grunt in the army who had finished his tour from OIF, home on leave and he asked me what the F was I doing.. and told me either go back in, or take a road trip to figure it out and don't worry about it. I went back in. I was a POG, still a POG, but it still ate me up some of the crap experienced, things saw, the aftermath of things, and then not being able to adjust. Hope you got it figured out. Like he said, we lived and live for chaos. If we don't have, we create it to feel normal
It took me picking up Staff and a major change in career (another branch of service) to decompress and even as a civilian today, I still don't have it figured out completely.
@NeedsLessWedge agreed, I look at the civilian world as being undisciplined and weak. If only they could adopt our mindset. I got out and went back and got out again in 2013 . Too bad they sold us out the way they did.
@@macgregordavis959 I had and do see them as less disciplined.. but then I have to remind myself at my work, that nothing here on the outside, at least anymore where I am now , is life or death, or mission essential, and ultimately it can wait til tomorrow if it doesn't get done today.
I abandoned my kids and wife for.monthd in end after I first separated and went contracting and hanging on to the Corps, my old life and the military vibe.
Luckily I have worked for and with vets here in the civ world. Not many but we know each other. Some are douches too. Some of great dudes, some are motards that are little to proud for my cup of tea.
What I had to learn, after going back in and after being done finally. Is don't think everyone else is always the problem. They ain't gonna change. Keep values but let some stuff slide depending on the environment of the workplace. Worry bout you and your fam if you have one..first . Not selfishly, but ivd noticed folks will manipulate and use up a vet coming out with good ethics. While others on team/office enjoy doing nothing. And you will burn out and/or melt down
@@macgregordavis959 I left the suck from stop loss (1mardiv comm co) eas 2003, Sgt. Went back in may04, still a Sgt.
Same MOS. MCB G6 Oki then the MCRDPI. Picked up Staff Dec07, decided I hated having a rocker doing Staff things, missed being a Sgt. Instead of reenlisting to a dying MOS, instead I did blue to green, kept my rocker and went to Army active, satcom.
The army was my cool off period. A lot of us jarheads from my MOS bailed to the Army when they disbanded our small clan in the suck.
The army signal Corp was civilian world 101. And slowly got me out of knife handing, ass chewing, plant and step mode. And learned to work with the Spec4 Mafia. Usually the prior 11B infantry retreads, the prior navy, prior Marines would all bond better in the unit and rib each other. We'd form out own shift/squad and disown the rest.
Yes I agree about the saying "... Thank You For Your Service...". (TYFYS) This statement has become sort of like an insults to Veterans. When someone tells me TYFYS, I tell them you are Welcome and now "... Where is my Check for my sacrifices? Forget about just the TYFYS insults with out financial compensation.
Funny. TYFYS is a decent thing to say, like saying “ bless you after a sneeze”. I feel people can thank me for my time in the crotch. On the other hand. My time in the army was a honor and a privilege. I feel I should thank the American taxpayer for my time in the US ARMY.
God, Jesus and Creation in it's entirety have all existed WITHIN this physical existence. The power isn't with something external from ourselves. The power is WHO WE ARE in every moment within unconditional self honesty which allow us to see and forgive ourselves for what we have accepted and allowed in this world. Becoming humble and accountable. I'm no Atheist nor do I believe in any religion. This statement alone of "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you" would save humanity and the world. But it's up to each one us individually to make that decision, not Jesus or anything "out there"
A fellow Marine Major psychologist taught me some of this while i was active in the 80s. He retired Lt bird Col. Wish i knew where he is now
No such thing as a Lt. bird Col.
@@angeloftheabyss5265 oh really ... after 30 years I must be confused. Slang might change a bit. There was this thing about majors with the 06 billet already gaurenteed. What do I know my trainers were pretty much all Vietnam era
Semper Fi Vietnam Vet
SF bother 🫡🤙🏼🇺🇸👊🏼
My recruiter lied to me. He gave me a list of my top 3 MOS picks i wrote 0300, 0300, and 0300. He told me they had no infantry slots. I said, "we have no infantry slots? We're fighting two fucking wars. Okay, ill walk across the hall. Im sure the army has some infantry slots." He was so pissed, but he gave me my 0300 contract. Pog ass staff sargent thought he could bullshit a bullshitter.😅 Best job i ever had. Although bartending does provide alotta pussy. I should add, one of the other recruiters was awesome. Sgt. Ranoa (might be misspelled) he was an LAV crewman. I noticed the recruiters would take them out to dinners and buy them pizza and shit. I remember being like, "Ayoo, yall never hooked me up with pizza." Ill never forget his response. He said, "Thats cuz we're not trying convince you. We know you wanna fuck shit up" i saw him in the FMF once. We ran passed eachother both on squad runs running up Iron Mike in Camp Horno. We didnt say shit to each other just gave eachother a nod and kept running.
1:30 man those were the days
VERY good video.
All due respect and acknowledging ahead of time that none of you knows anything about my prior service nor I about yours, we need to get over ourselves as veterans. Everyone from Every Walk of Life is Just a cog in a machine. We can assign different weights and values to the machines but at some point there's very often no difference between a physician a respiratory therapist a police officer a firefighter a tow truck driver a marine veteran a post office carrier etcetera. Seriously tired of this Woe Is Us mentality. Less resentment and expectation go a long way no matter what your life experience.
Any 1st Civ Div (stop loss active awaiting EAS in country) folks here that were stuck in Matilda, in 03 when 1MarDiv was retro grading back to Kuwait after W claimed "Victory" ?
I noticed you don’t have any videos of dudes getting kicked out. I have a OTH and a pretty interesting story, I think my story can help dudes who join make the right decision to better their lives. Let me know.
Sound very interesting would love to hear
I thought the seal video recently was a guy who got arrested and OTH, busting a dudes face up
Iwakuni 2001 Mals 12. Powerplant mechanic F/A 18 hornets. Sempre Fi!!!!
Yesssss. Eagles Nest and Mongolian nights…
hardest part for me was my crayon budget. the corps provides all you can eat crayolas, 24/7, anywhere in the world. I can barely afford roseart on my pension.
Magenta is the best
Try and avoid the red crayons, if you can.
Jesus Christ- The Only Cause that Matters.
USMC- 1986-1992
B.C.: P.I
A.O. School: Milligton, TN & Yuma, AZ
D.S. : Iwakuni, Japan, Kaneohe Bay, Hi
Deployments: Okinawa Japan, Subic Bay, Philipines , Desert Storm- Uss Triploli and USS Tarawa
Psalms 118:
17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.
👊🏻
👍💯🙏
yutttt! 🇺🇸 🫡
🫡👊🏼🇺🇸🤙🏼
Hafa Adai Sgt.
Brother you lost me when you said that both you AND your wife were pastors. SF.
TY Brothers for sharing, it's very critical! SALUTE ❤️ 🤍 💙
Thank you for listening
21:38 the people celebrating were israelis, wonder why
Are you Devon's brother?
I’m not
I remember seeing the palestinians and all the other muslims celebrating after the attack.
Unfortunate that religion taints this discussion. Was hopefully for factual insight and got religious jibberish. Veterans need hands on assistance, teaching them processes to resolve reoccurring issues, not hopes and prayers. This is a damn disservice, nuggets of clickbait info slathered in rhetoric.
So much tainting
praying for you :]
As a mental health professional.. yea, this guy means well, does some great things but said some alarming things as well. Those voices in their heads are real and demonic?… oof… that is not what people need.
@@basvangeest5485 It was a generalized statement not 1 on 1 counseling.
Pog life is a hard life that’s no joke.PoG problems need Jesus and jujutsu. Because not everybody can be a grunt.
Ok cannon fodder 😂😂
@@Matthew-i3h Artillery rounds don't discriminate between a pog hiding behind a desk or a grunt in the field. At least we are not sitting ducks.
Just keep your barrel pointed down range there Hard Charger. The rest of us are why you win in combat.
@@dohc22h Will do while you play COD in your aircon trailer.
@@user-PaulSean Without us you'd be Cold, Hungry and Naked. Don't bite the hand that feeds you bro. You ain't shit without us.
appliance chucking IQ equates to Marines IQ
There is nothing remarkable about this story whatsoever
Just a regular ol’ guy that loves Jesus and helps veterans.
it sucks getting out 🥲 everybodys time comes eventually