Stan Van Gundy | South Beach Sessions | The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- You won't find a more honest and respected presence in the NBA than TNT's Stan Van Gundy.
While the bond between brothers runs deep... the competition between Stan and Jeff Van Gundy runs even deeper. Stan gets into his relationship with his younger brother, what it was like facing off against each other as coaches time and time again, the depth of the love they share as they've gotten older, and what he expects next for Jeff in the NBA. Stan and Dan also talk about how they became friends, seeing greatness in the Miami Heat's Erik Spoelstra early on, and the often toxic criticism that surrounds sports today.
Then, Stan opens up with Dan about learning to balance asking for support from family and friends and self-reliance as he processes his grief over the loss of his wife, Kim. It's hard not to love Stan Van Gundy. Watch the 2024 NBA Western Conference Finals between the Dallas Mavericks and Minnesota Timberwolves on TNT.
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This was a heavy but profound session. Thank you Stan, thank you Dan, thank you live chat. My wife deals w anxiety and depression and I feel more equipped to help her after this discussion. I am sooo sorry Stan. All the love.❤
Q
My balls kinda stink
These 2 guys are the most vile human beings and it's not even debatable. Karma doesn't discriminate
A couple days later and this South Beach Session is still impacting me greatly. I've used Stan's wife's saying a few times already, "It is better to be kind than right" I actually listened to my wife explain her feelings without offering a solution and without applying my typical logic to why she "shouldn't" feel that way. It was Stan "feeling" that he failed his wife even though his analytic brain can logically explain it was mental illness, not him. That explanation has done what countless therapies could not. I get it now. Thank you again, Stan. You have no idea how helpful this is. Please reach others with this message if you're able to.❤
Stan coaching us with life lessons. Mad love
holy hell...i cant even imagine the pain Stan is going through. hope the universe finds a way to heal you Stan.
Karma
My brother took his life January 20th 2024 I’ll NEVER be the same!!!!!! I miss him so deeply I can’t stand living. Darren Allen Mattern forever 46!! I’m crying my eyes out I NEVER saw it coming!!!!! I don’t find joy in life whatsoever
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤ I'd normally offer support or solutions like, "try to find purpose and pour your love for your brother into those worthy causes." This session has made me realize that's a selfish and unhelpful response. Instead it is better to acknowledge your feelings of guilt, helplessness and regret. I empathize w the sincerest of condolences. Know those feelings are normal for all survivors, as Stan articulated so well. ❤❤
what about christ?
Yeah what about Christ? @@TERRYKATHCHICAGO
This made me cry a lot but was very much appreciated.
[0:00-13:49] Remembering career highlights
[13:51-17:51] Recognizing Erik Spoelstra
[17:52-24:45] Rivalry with Jeff Van Gundy
[24:46-33:25] Making opinions heard
[33:26-44:58] Supporting his brother
[44:59-1:22:15] Coping with loss
[1:22:16-1:31:28] Relationship with Dan
Very heartfelt South Beach Session with Stan. Thank you to both of you for opening up and sharing your personal losses. Although the pain never goes away,We hope you find solice and peace as you move forward in your lives each and everyday.
Thank you for this ☝🏽 🙏🏼
Thank you for the time stamps! 🙏
Stan shattered my soul when he said he failed. I literally had to pause bc i couldn't stop crying.
I know he'll never see this, but you didn't fail her, Stan. It's not your fault.
I'm glad he went on to clarify it a bit, but still...
I live in SVG’s shoes, & unfortunately what he said is true. Is what he & I feel accurate? Probably not. But, that doesn’t change the way you feel. It’s just something that can’t be comprehended unless you’ve lived it.
@@ColbyONE 😞😞 what he says afterwards made sense..
I hope both of you find some semblance of healing through y'alls journey.. I'm sorry y'all had to experience it.
@@thisguy8106 Thank you. It’s certainly no shot at Dan. Everyone does that. It’s only natural. Like I said, I did the same thing. When someone you care about is hurting, you naturally want to try & say something that will fix the situation.
There is just no way for anyone to understand unless you’ve been through it.
There are just some things that happen in life that there isn’t an answer for. There are some things that can’t be solved, and that’s ok!!!!!!!
Trust me when I tell you it means so much more for a friend just to be there & just listen & spend time with you. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s everything. A simple lunch with a friend gives me a couple of hours where I’m not thinking about the nightmare when there is a good chance I probably would have been had it not been for a simple lunch invite.
I’m not going to turn this into another book, but to put it plain, sometimes you don’t want to hear any advice but you just want to hear someone say “this sucks.” You’re just looking for someone to say, “I get it & I’m sure I’d be feeling the same way.”
It’s a tricky situation bc everyone’s family dynamics are different, but hopefully SVG can find love again. It won’t take the guilt & regret away, but it goes a long way when it comes to finding joy again.
Thanks for the kind words.
I feel him in a way.. it’s difficult to not blame yourself
A few weeks ago on the show Stan Mentioned his wife passed, I was shocked, they didn’t elaborate, I’m not sure how many people even caught that, so of course my nosey ass hit the internet looking for answers, and I stopped digging when someone made a remark that it might have been suicide, I didn’t want to believe it… when Stan actually said it out loud I froze, I was doing dishes and I couldn’t move, right before the tears started rolling, my angel of an 8 year old, who’s mother also has mental health issues, snapped me out of it when he came up to me asking for a snack…. this episode shook me in my bones and reminded me of the importance of good old fashioned kindness, thanks for sharing Stan, you’re my hero, and your wife’s story is absolutely worth sharing, she will be missed, never forgotten 🙏🏼
I Walk Alone
Like you, Stan, my wife completed suicide. I embarked on this path 40 years ago on January 9.
The trail is indeed treacherous at the beginning, but your love for her will guide you through those dangerous times. Guilt and regret will be overwhelming at times and grief will never falter.
I was lucky to have eight month old twins at the time. That may sound odd, but they saved my life. They consumed me. Obviously I survived, and you will too. My newest grandchild is the best medicine ever conceived.
As time passes, the trail will become familiar and level out; become routine. Though Grief will never be far away, your relationship with it will also soften as cherished memories join the journey.
Keep your children near. Love will bring you home. I promise you will feel better. It will take a long time and it won’t be easy, but the day will come when your grandchild will hug and kiss you and you will think to yourself “Sweetheart, look want you are missing?”
Others have passed this way and we all walk it alone.
Thanks Dan and Stan.
Losing my little brother in 2011 at the young age of 26 on his bday, this really put a smile on my face. Never give up on your happiness folks
I can’t believe I watched that whole thing, it was just so interesting. I only
got on because it was mentioned on espn about his wife committing suicide and I basically just wanted to hear that part but it was all interesting. Definitely feel for Stan here and I feel like I will start appreciated my wife and family more from this. Im glad I was brought to this video
Dan is completely off on this & so is SVG’s therapist. Unfortunately, I live in SVG’s shoes. What SVG is saying is spot on. Someone that’s never been in those shoes isn’t equipped to give advice. I’m not saying that’s the case with a million other issues people face, but not something as traumatic as this.
I used to give the same advice until I was the one living that nightmare. And I get why ppl give that advice bc it’s only natural to not want to see someone you care about beating themselves up. Unfortunately, that’s just not realistic. Think about when we tell someone that lost a loved one that “they’re in a better place.” Well, that may be true, but those words ring hollow when you’re in a worse place.
This honestly shouldn’t even be that difficult to understand. ANY spouse that loses a spouse to suicide will have regrets, guilt, & “I should have done more.” That’s just the way it is & you’ll go to the grave with those feelings. They never go away.
Trust me when I tell you that hearing from someone with no high school education that’s living your never ending nightmare goes MUCH further than a therapist with 5 doctorate degrees giving you advice but has no clue what it feels like. Again, all your rational thinking goes out the window when you find yourself haunted. When you lay your head on your pillow at night and look over to see an empty place in bed where your spouse used to be, you aren’t replaying all the intellectual reasonable thinking that your therapist told you about.
Instead what you do is to try & learn how to adjust to your new life. You try & learn how to not let those feelings completely consume you. You try & take your tragedy & use it to be there for others that are going through the same thing. If you are someone that has a friend that’s living this nightmare, the best thing you can do is just say, “I know this sucks, but I want you to know I’m here for you.” Then more importantly, BE THERE. Don’t just be there for a few months. Be there for life. We live in a world where it’s only natural to try & fix things yourself. You naturally want to give advice that will solve a problem, and that probably works for a lot of other issues. But, not this one. The most effective thing you can do is just be there & don’t give any advice. Just be present. Take them places to get their mind off of it. Let them lead the conversation if they want to talk about it. Don’t implement any advice, rather wait on them to ask you for advice. Just show up, & shut up. That’s all you can do.
But as far as those feelings going away, it’ll never happen.
Wow, what an amazing display of emotional vulnerability and courage. I've learned over the course of time that grief is a funny animal, it comes and goes, it has a life of it's own, sometimes sad, sometimes funny. I have found it's best to work it, before it works me. Thank you for this phenominal session. Peace be with you both.
My nephew took his life in 2024.. 6 months ago.. and everyday is different..just taking it one day at a time.
Praying for you and yours.
Thank you Dan and Stan. So rare to hear two men speak about grief and therapy in such an honest and meaningful way. My heart is broken for both of you and please know your honesty is helping so many people watching and listening.
Watching the mutual admiration between longtime friends and two people I admire as well made my day. I was having a bad day but after watching this I reached out to my two younger brothers and told them how much I care about and appreciate them. Thank you Dan and thank you Stan.
❤ Stan. Couldn't believe what I heard.
What a powerful discussion..
Gosh Damnit. Having lost my mom last Easter. Dan losing his brother and hearing Stan about his wife. Man I’m feel y’all. Everyday practically starts off sucky and you fight thru 😢.
I’m so sad with y’all.
Love ya Dan & the whole setup.
Proud listener since 2012🙏
Fuck, had no idea Stan lost his wife, let alone lost her to suicide. Hate that this happened to his family, I absolutely appreciate him being open about her struggles, and frankly his own struggles. This open dialogue helps a lot of people.
I’ve lost many relatives because of cancer, including my own Mom. But man…I can’t imagine dealing with suicide, especially a wife. As a man, not only losing the love of your life but the mind, constantly thinking “what could I have done differently?”, “how could I have protected her better?”, etc.
One of the parts of grief people don’t talk about is the amount of guilt you unfairly put on yourself. Most times, if not all, death is completely out of your control, but the guilt still comes with the grief.
Very sorry to hear about your wife Stan. I lost my little brother to suicide 12 years ago and not a day goes by I don’t think about him. For years I was consumed with anger and grief. Keep doing the counseling, it helps. Again, my condolences.
Your husband is a multi millionaire and you take your own life....when they say money dont make you happy this really hits home....especially at 61....suicide at 61 is profound....you would think you got over life by then....im 37 and i struggle with my mental life hoping to make that age thinking it would all be over by then but clearly the more you live the more life gives....rip ms van gundy...one love!!!
I didn’t know about Stan’s wife. That’s so sad. 😢
OMG as a youngish recent widow this hit home in so many ways. Thank you Stan for opening your heart and sharing your experiences. It honestly felt like the best therapy session ever. I feel like we should be in a support group together!
As usual, a powerful show Dan, and I must agree with Stan, we really, really, really miss your writing.
I really love Stan and I really love what Dan has created with South Sessions:
A very comfortable space where his guests can be at ease.
I love you, Stan. Continue to learn and continue to thrive.
And as always Dan, thank you for being who you are.
Grief is F'in brutal. My baby was 9 when she was taken from us. I've now had to live without her longer than I got to live WITH her. The unexpectedness of the future you always saw for yourself being ripped away in an instant hit like a sledgehammer. The struggle to remember her as she deserves to be remembered is real. The ability to recall the smiles, the laughs, the mischief, everything just takes more effort as the weeks, moths, and years roll by, while the soul-crushing agony can be as fresh as the day of her funeral sometimes. It can all be SO cruel some days. Thanks to you both for this conversation this day.
Suicide
Suicide is the loneliest of acts
for the victim and her survivors.
Over and out for her,
Over and over for us.
Forever…
This is one of the if nit the best south beach sessions I've listen to. I love the whole Lebatard family🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
Thank you Dan
Thank you Stan
Thank you Dan
Thank you Stan
But seriously, been anticipating this one
Dan and Stan are truly 2 deplorable people..
@@TsunamiWebsterStan's wife passed.
The stuff about Stan feeling like he failed his wife after her suicide was heavy. I was not ready for this.
I lost my girlfriend suddenly in July of last year. In the immediate aftermath I wish I had the opportunity to bury myself in work. My background is fixing helicopter electrical systems and it’s a rigorous and demanding job that requires your full attention. Unfortunately I have quite possibly the most boring desk job in the world now and going back to work after a few weeks all I did was sit at my desk, alone in my thoughts, staring at my computer screen wondering “wth am I doing with my life, all this stuff is meaningless” I’m glad Stan was able to find a distraction in his passion
Wow seriously great episode. you never really know what is going on in other people's lives. Appreciate all of you
I am pretty sure I have cried on 80% of these interviews. Thank you Dan for doing these and the guests for opening up so much. Makes you think about your role in your life quite a bit.
Love Stan explaining the distinction between emotional health (feelings) and mental health (intellect). I use it all the time with the people I work with. They are often quiet when I go over it with them, but later on tell me that it helped them to see the bigger picture. Helps improve their coping tools. They can work through the real feelings, and not think they are losing their mind. I also add the concept of behavior health (interacting with others). Awesome learning session coming from the courage of these two in opening their hearts and minds. Was not sure if I was going to listen to this, thinking it was going to be 2 gasbags talking. Well done, SBS!
The best SBS ever. Love Stan and Dan both.
Agreed! Hearts and prayers to Dan and Stan’s families 🙏🏼.
Thank you Stan, and thank you Dan for this. I am so grateful for the people in my life today.
The mundane routine of life is always better with a partner. Having gone through a tough lost myself, you will never be the same! Thank your for sharing your vulnerabilities. Such real life lessons being taught today.
I listened twice to this interview - im grateful for the candor these two expressed their loss, though it broke my heart each time hearing about it.
I am a mom and wife that has been suicidal and depressed at points in my life. I have attempted suicide more than once and am ashamed to say my kids saw the aftermath of an attempt once. I lived, obviously, and got the help I needed. It breaks my heart to hear that Stan feels he failed Kim. I can't imagine my husband and kids feeling that way. I would never want them to feel that. It was simply, I can't go on, the pain is too great, they are better off without me, and I just want to sleep forever and stop feeling tortured.
I can't say what Kim felt but I am sure she would not want her husband and kids to feel that they failed her. Probably, they were the greatest thing in her life, but the pain was just too great to overcome.
May she rest in peace. I hope Stan and the kids can live long and happy lives and cherish her memory. And I also hope Dan and his family are able to cherish the memory of their loved one as well.
Jimmy V said If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day.
I did all 3 of those in this interview. Thanks to you both for being so open and vulnerable and I hope this can help with aiding those out there who are going through similar things.
Damn Stan. I'm sorry. Love ya buddy.
Wow I about lost it at 51:07. Going through a dreary time myself, less "want to do"s than there used to be.
Stan if you’re reading this , my brother, you have helped so many people just hearing you say these things about how you’re dealing with the loss of your late wife. I commend you for opening up about this and honestly I’ve always liked you but I love you now bro! Your words hit home man and anyone who has lost a loved one definitely felt this in their soul. Love you OG!
I lost my mom almost 2 years ago and the lack of joy or severely reduced joy troubles me. It feels like life as a whole got dimmer after her loss and it's a hard thing to work past
Sorry man that does suck. Time does tend to heal things. I hope you feel better soon.
Men need to talk about grief more.
Thank you very much for your vulnerabilities. Much needed and much appreciated
Thank you both for opening your hearts. This is a powerful conversation.
Thank you Dan and Thank you Stan!! We love you guys
Incredibly powerful conversation. This is pure gold. Thank you Stan and Dan. God bless you.
Thank you Stan for the absolute honesty about the mental health problems..So sorry for your loss Sir..I've always enjoyed him..This made me respect him more👏👏 And you are a great human being! Kim is proud of you. I know that
Thanks Dan & Stan for open and vulnerable discussion among adult men. Stan really does a good job describing his grief and the illogical nature of it.
Great talk about real life and getting thru the day. Respect.
Stan the Man! We love you
Gosh damn Dan! Thank you and love you, but damn.
This was very moving. Any chance you could remove ads from this video? Was jarring to go from Stan talking about his wife to then youtube blasting a draft kings ad in my face.
Stan is my favorite guest, looking forward to watching this
Wow ngl just listening to this made me cry. Just sad
Lifelong Miami Heat fan here, super proud of him for his honesty and transparency. I am comforted by the fact he can express how I and millions of people feel. Not spoken enough about.
Wow. Peace, love and deep solidarity to Dan, Stan & the DLS fam! Tell your loved ones how much you love them, and do it often. You won't ever regret it.
We never see it coming. Rest easy big bro, Terrance Hutchinson. U didn't take ur life, the devil stole it. And that is how I cope with it till this day. GOD bless anyone who has been through this 🙏🏽. I didn't even know this conversation was going to this subject at all. Glad I clicked on it 👍🏽
SVG brings such joy and entertainment to us all, I just hope he knows how much we enjoy him. I hope he finds a way to feel happiness again. Much love to SVG and Dan.
Oh my god, Stan.. oh goodness.. May your wife rest with the angels. And may you have some bit of peace.
Stan you are a great man and always good to me. I remember you every morning at Coral Reef greeting all of the kids when you dropped off Michael. My condolences to you.
Thank you for sharing. 😢
Thank you, Dan and Stan, for being open, vulnerable and real. Stan's words resonated deeply with me. This conversation is a great reminder to cherish every moment of your most special relationships, because they won't last forever 😭
I can’t say how much I’ve been moved by watching this. Thank you Dan, thank you Stan. I’m calling everyone I love tomorrow!
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Man this was tough. I lost my father to depression last year unexpectedly. Me and my family were all completely blindsided by it. If you suffer from depression don’t even hesitate or think about. Seek professional help and reach out to your friends and family.
Heavy episode. Love both you guys ❤
Love me some Stan Van Gundy
Extraordinary. Thank you.
As a Celtics fan and a guy who wanted nothing but the worst for most of the teams the brothers coached getting into the mix and putting a speed limiter on Mourning with that leg grab is actually what made me like and respect Jeff. Not a lot of coaches and not a lot of guys that size would put themselves out there like that for their squad. He showed the hustle, effort and heart of a guy I'd always want on my team.
From the way he describe his wife and how wonderful she is, I can't imagine someone like that can take her life? He said his intellectual is one of the things that keeps him going, I would debunk that...and say that intellectuality is and can be detrimental to a person's life. Being too smart isn't really doing any good to you unless, UNLESS the emotional part (or love) rise up and equal to it. There is no genuine life above love. One must find a balance between intellectuality and love. If you let intellectuality rise above love, you lose your innocent. And if you let love rise above intellectually, then you're naive.
just when you think you're having it hard and then you hear how his marriage ended, just wow. So sorry coach
This was deep and much needed for my mental.... Thank you guys for that💯💯💯
I was not ready for this episode. I hope you both find a little solace from reading the comments to see how much you touched others with this interview
Another great session. You guys are bringing out things I think I need to address myself. Thank you.
❤Stan
Very sad, appreciate every moment, every second with your loved ones
How does this guy manage to get me to cry when i least expect it?
Dammit man, where are my tissues....
That's probably the best South Beach Session. Love ya Stan. As a Detroiter & LeBatard fan, I experienced you through your coaching career and having fun on the radio. Not many people I enjoy listening to more in both settings. You always stood for something & spoke the truth. My condolences to you & your family.
I lost my dad to cancer last year. The feeling of being able to function but feeling no joy and fear of tragedy is too real. I hate hearing it for someone else but appreciate to not feel alone with it
Thank you Stan and Dan for having this conversation on this platform. Hearing people talk about it, especially someone like Stan who you don’t expect to hear being vulnerable, will help a lot of people deal with their own losses.
Holy shit 🙏🙏😢😢
This was an amazing episode. Hard to get through but well worth it
That was great
I lost my mother about twelve years ago, and it's never easy when you sit and dwell on it. But this was therapeutic to see Dan & Stan share their grief and pain that we all have if we are fortunate to live long enough. Joy & Pain.
I don't know how Stan does it, I'd be an absolute wreck
45:28
Been waiting a long time for this session..
Good stuff guys! 👍🏽
Nothing but love for both of you guys.
Love these episodes -- Salute 🫡
I really appreciated this SBS. I was thinking it was more of a natural passing but really tough to hear this for Stan. Such a genuine individual and hearing more of his story makes me appreciate him more. I hope he continues to try to take it easy in himself and let those around him support him in this sensitive time. Thank you for this episode. Such a great one on one conversation that digs deep. You don't know how much this helps your audience. 🙏
Stan, your daily task was taking care of your family. Your head says mental illness claimed your love of your life, your heart feels like you failed at the job you spent most of your life doing.
Time will slowly heal your heart.
Lost both my parents in about 8 months between ‘20-‘21 and this was really hard to listen too, this is why I’ll never quit riding with Dan.
Man this was a tough listen, but so beautiful to hear how much they love the ones they've lost
❤💜🫂
goddamn what a great interview... thank you dan, thank you stan... much love guys
Man this was fantastic. Grief is such a strange beast, I’m glad the world is opening up to these conversations, there’s so much wisdom to be shared amongst those of us who are hurting