"300 years ago, when you were being taught how to cook your mom or dad, your chef would look at you and he would say, 'REKT.'" - Chef Jonathan Lonathan
Because you haven't killed it yet. Here's what you do: Close your hands around its tiny little neck and squeeze. Just keep squeezing. Don't let up until it's dead, if you let go too early you're just tormenting it needlessly. That's what cats do. You don't want to be a cat. _Do not be a cat, Darkness Kingsized._ If you do it correctly, your food is no longer breathing. It will in fact never breathe again. Congratulations, now you can cook it.
"This is the part where it's handy to have either an electric mixer, or a little brother, or a Little Mix, or an electric Brother." Damn. Hats off to this.
seeing Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog as one of the sources and thinking "I don't remember any Sonic in the video" and then seeing the clip after the credits is just like the Big Boss surprise in MGS4
@@punchline43 Women can make well edited nonsense too. I always assume all creators are amorphous beings that only exist in cyberspace until proven otherwise
I think the best part that sets DaThings apart is that these arent just YTP's, they are a YTP cinematic universe where everything is connected and intertwined
Dude you're the best. You're keeping the YTP genre alive. If i met you in person i would shake your hand (from a respectable distance). Also, i think a Bill Nye YTP would do pretty well
I just snort laughed and my warm coffee came out my nose after reading "Chef Jonathan Lonathan" at the beginning. My nostrils still hurt. I'm nearing my 30's and working my ass off, and these kinds of content is what make me lose my shit easily. Thank you for this.
Alright listen man, you are my all-time favorite modern ytp-er. The stuff you make is full of quality edits and honestly some of the funniest keks I have EVER seen in ytps, no matter what era they came from. I love your "wow it's made" series and can't breathe at some of the jokes you make. Unbelievably talented creator; don't stop this anytime soon.
@DaThings I really appreciate the warnings you put in before your YTPs. While some of the warnings I find amusing, I also understand that not everyone feels the same as me. And then there's stuff I don't like, so the warnings work for me as well. Again, thanks.
Because foods are made by animals like: pigs, cows, chickens, and anything... So basically animals are breathing. That means food is breathing! Don't ask me how.
"Have you ever been in the kitchen? If yes, you have witnessed failure in the kitchen." Jesus not even 30 seconds into the video and Chef has roasted me alive.
So glad you're making YTPs of instructional cooking videos, they are such an underrated source. Considering making an Adam Ragusea YTP one day myself lol
You may be looking at a Fahrenheimeter, the designs are pretty similar so it’s understandable that you would be confused. In any case, if you must convert Fahrenheits to Thermomets, consult Ackermann’s algorithm for the easiest number.
@DaThings Your YTPs are absolutely the greatest that presently exist. No other YTP channel even comes close. 2 years are added to my lifespan every time you release a How it's Made YTP.
So where can I get that Mammoth Cup?
Asking for a friend.
teespring.com/shop/a-mammoth
I would try the paper factory
Either that or a vat of meten moltal.
*qup
@@shiningarmor2838 i ended up with a Milhouse
"thermometers to measure thermomets" was kind of incredible
"mometers to measure mom" 😂😂😂
Like small teaspoon of salt for SMALLT
our dosimeter only goes up to 3.6 dosimets. not great, not terrible.
I loled pretty hard 🤣
"Paper is made from Paper is made from Wood, Trees, and Paper."
Sometimes you create words that never leave my vocabulary, and 'thermomets' is one of them.
How do you even use that word? Like, after someone mentions a thermometer?
Asking so I can use it too
@@maverickREAL "Ah yes, a thermometer. It thermomets."
This a great day for ytp uploads
Broke: A polyamorous relationship with three participants.
Woke: T H R E E O P L E
"It's hot today. At least 300 thermomets."
"Why is my food breathing?" - A concerned citizen
Thank you, concerned.
I like my food live thank you very much
A sign that it needs more smallt
@@sergiowinter5383 "ohhhh, thanks!" -a no longer concerned citizen.
What ever predator says
"Long ago, people used their body parts."
Reminds me of an ancient technique called "a walk"...
Then times changed, and now you just rent a horse
Oh yeah, it's all coming together.
But does that technique lets you to really know the Pope?
@@KaiaBrodbecker only if you're really dope
dope means cool, you're really cool
Ah yes, four balls and the batter go to the first base
Cannot get over “SMALLT” and “quarches”
Thermomets
qups
Important words to remember when you're serving threeople.
@@NaderAmmar Qups don't work!
threeople.
i understand food now, thank u
I'm glad to finally know why my food is breathing & how to avoid my bladder overflowing onto the stove.
@@ZijnShayatanica MmmmmmmM put it in a small pot, you get bladder stock!
Also, my friend lives just 10 gallons away from me.
@@De19thKingJulion help my pot is to small only about 2.8 johnathan lonathans
@@ghostcat11 Gotta be at least threeople big!!
"have you ever been in the kitchen when your bladder overflows on the stove"
No I can't say I have
You haven't? What are you even doing with your life
you can't pee once it's over you should be happy your bladder isn't dead
Boys, we've found ourselves an unfabulaous chef here.
Everything is already over for you.
You mean to tell me people don't normally pee on their stoves?
"300 years ago, when you were being taught how to cook your mom or dad, your chef would look at you and he would say, 'REKT.'"
- Chef Jonathan Lonathan
“smalt” “threeple”, each YTP adds a new word to the ever growing lexicon of the English language.
She’s doing the work of Shakespeare.
Still thinking of "thickquid"
Thermomets is my new favorite.
BUT HEY, It's the DaThings1 Dictionary he should release in PDF format to anyone who wants to buy it.
ExtremeReviewer101 *she
There are three gallons in a mile
Someone is driving a Range Rover
How else does one run over a kangaroo?
That does not Rove a very long Range!
1:11
“Timers to measure Time,
Thermometers to measure Thermomets,
Mometers to measure Mom,
and Measuring Containers to measure Measurements.”
Next on DaThings:
Who To Food
Where To Food
Why To Food
When To Food
How to food
Was To Food
Is To Food
Will To Food
Would To Food
Could To Food
Should To Food
If To Food
Everyone asks "what the food?" but never "how's the food?" : (
How to effectively food
How can we eat?
Why do we eat?
Where shall we have lunch?
TH-cam picks the best times to buffer. Mine stopped right after he decided to take a pause
Wait.
Are you on a dial up modem?
*_WAIT_*
*_Same_*
"Why is my food breathing": How A Farm Visit Turned Me Vegetarian by Jonathannes Lonathannes
Wait till you realize that plants breathe too and fresh-picked, immediately eaten ones are probably still breathing when you eat them
"Themometers to measure thermometes" lmao
Don't forget the Mometers.
@@sophiegrey9576 lol
@@sophiegrey9576 to measure moms
i was really hoping it was gonna say marmots
Why is my food breathing?
only 4 seconds in and I'm already laughing
Why to food?
Because you haven't killed it yet.
Here's what you do: Close your hands around its tiny little neck and squeeze. Just keep squeezing. Don't let up until it's dead, if you let go too early you're just tormenting it needlessly. That's what cats do. You don't want to be a cat. _Do not be a cat, Darkness Kingsized._
If you do it correctly, your food is no longer breathing. It will in fact never breathe again.
Congratulations, now you can cook it.
@@theuncalledfor =^•o•^!= I've been found out!
@@gamerofbraveryytp When is it done?
"This is the part where it's handy to have either an electric mixer, or a little brother, or a Little Mix, or an electric Brother."
Damn. Hats off to this.
Where in the video is this line again?
@@javiers5599 1:26
He wanted to pause, he set out, and he did it. Inspiring.
this is the first ytp I've watched where I've been offered chocolate cupcakes at the beginning. now this is what I call customer service
"Why is my food breathing?"
JUST CUZ IT IS OKAY GINGER LEGO MAN
Must've not added enough sauce
"you didn't hit them hard enough."
Needs more smallt
@@sergiowinter5383 Nah, I think it needs more schmepper.
Something about the sentence mixing that created “pounces” and “quarches” just hits so right
seeing Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog as one of the sources and thinking "I don't remember any Sonic in the video" and then seeing the clip after the credits is just like the Big Boss surprise in MGS4
I was thinking exactly that
Yes sir..... Mr. President!!
I remember using my body parts in the kitchen. I can still convert ouches to pounces.
noisepuppet! I'm so happy to see you comment, I thought you had died or something. T_T
"thermomets" "smallt" and "quarches" are some of my new favorite words now, thank u
To measure THERMOMETS
Ah yes, the four measurements.
cup
cup
cup
qup
Cups don't work!
@@whoknows1447 but qups do
Canadians be like: "You're gonna need about a third cup of baking pop."
I get it’s a joke but as a Canadian we call it baking soda but we still call soda; pop
@@camacaron06 you call your baking pop "baking soda"?
Hekken. Mhm
Hekken. But it should really be called Baking Coke
Some parts of canada do call it soda tho, i do
"What's plenty?"
"I have a feeling my feet probably are..."
Number fifteeeeeen,
Could also be "What's planti?" as in plantigrade. Which his feet probably are
Nickle Piefy
Only probably tho. There’s still a chance that they’re digitigrade.
@@deffdefying4803 correct. we don't see his feet at any point, so who's to say for sure?
@@NicklePiefy Jonathan Lonathan is human
3:21 ‘end of understanding’ with fire in the background really encapsulates the world right now.
“Never try to cook!”
"That's no food!"
I say this with complete admiration, this may be the dumbest YTP of all time
Honestly yes, I think it's one of the best. :)
I think it is kinda smart, I mean he doesn't overuse swears like in the real dumb YTPs
@@sergiowinter5383 I thought it was funny. Despite not having vulgarity.
I'd say ytp sexer is higher on that spectrum
"Here, i made them for you! Take them"
*_Don't mind if i do!_*
NOW
@@patrickdalton361 It was a little bit of work, BuB bibublblblbl
Considering Mr. Lohnathan uses body parts, you might wanna reconsider...
I'm happy that the legacy of SUS lives on
Can't wait for Why to Food
And Where to Food
Whom to Food really ties the series together
@@haalfnhaalf Is no one going to talk about when to food?
@@richardperks7776 no
christ, Ellie out here pumping out masterpieces on the weekly
You love to see it. I've loved her work for years and it's been good to see hit after hit after hit lately.
"Da Things saved my life" - a satisfied customer
It sounds like a joke but her videos helped me through some tough times a few years back.
AFX!
@@saintsea-hat7891 Her?
@@punchline43 Dathings is a woman. Her website is even called "ellie spectacular"
@@punchline43 Women can make well edited nonsense too. I always assume all creators are amorphous beings that only exist in cyberspace until proven otherwise
I think the best part that sets DaThings apart is that these arent just YTP's, they are a YTP cinematic universe where everything is connected and intertwined
The calm casual brilliance of these videos is the DaThings trademark.
Dude you're the best. You're keeping the YTP genre alive. If i met you in person i would shake your hand (from a respectable distance). Also, i think a Bill Nye YTP would do pretty well
She made a Bill Nye YTP a long time ago, called "Bill Nye Cells Himself" I think it was Collab Entry.
KemonoGalleria Music ☮️💜 wait she? didn’t know that, coolio!
Caellach yeah she came out as trans in 2019
@@treyebillups8602 based
@@caellach based on what?
300 years ago... ah yes, I remember whenever I would cook it was so annoying getting rekt. How far we've come
I love chef John so much. I actually saw one of his videos in my home ec class after seeing how to food and just about shit myself.
0:15 "Why is my food breathing?" Ah, I see we have an Omega Mart costumer.
Lost it at "Remember P.L.O.R.P!"
what’s plorp?
(0:47) have you ever had your bladder overflow on the stove. I spat my coffee out laughing HAHAH! love it.
I absolutely lost it only a few seconds in at “Why is my food breathing?” Another golden video, as always.
THERMOMETERS MEASURE THERMOMETS
MOMETERS MEASURE MOM
"You're gonna be serving three people, and so....
...you're gonna be serving Threeople."
_Brilliant._
I just snort laughed and my warm coffee came out my nose after reading "Chef Jonathan Lonathan" at the beginning. My nostrils still hurt.
I'm nearing my 30's and working my ass off, and these kinds of content is what make me lose my shit easily. Thank you for this.
Great recipe! Might feed it to my threenagers one day.
I love the "sonic says" segment at the end of every video omg
Are you 3yrs old?
Same here, it's a throwback to the early days of TH-cam Poop when almost every video I saw ended in a Sonic Says segment.
My connection cut out exactly after he said “I wanna pause for a second here” and the meta-ness freaked me out lol
Alright listen man, you are my all-time favorite modern ytp-er. The stuff you make is full of quality edits and honestly some of the funniest keks I have EVER seen in ytps, no matter what era they came from. I love your "wow it's made" series and can't breathe at some of the jokes you make. Unbelievably talented creator; don't stop this anytime soon.
1:50 perfectly encapsulates, how we Europeans see Imperial measuring
WHAT CUP!? WHICH ONE, YOU MANIAC!?
Thanks for the audio warning. I'm just glad you're not one of those poopers that does the *EAR R@PE* thing.
I actually laughed a lot
"YOU'VE RUINED YOUR DINNER!"
"NOW!"
"Have you been in a kitchen? If yes,you've witnessed failure in the kitchen"
That throwback to Granny Dryden cooking poo really took me back to when I first lost my shit laughing at that joke 7 years ago
ANOTHER GREAT from the legendary DaThings!!!!
I wanna pause here. (pauses for a few seconds) Wait.
The best part of being an alcoholic is when you watch a DaThings YTP drunk, forget it, and get to enjoy it twice
this had me absolutely dying. Dathings, you just keep getting better and better
My car when i want to drive out my house on a weekend 0:37
5:02 "Never try to cook!" Me: Gee, thanks Sonic!
2:56 - Damn I didn't know we switched to Eorzean measurements
Good to see your sense of humor hasn't changed
@DaThings I really appreciate the warnings you put in before your YTPs. While some of the warnings I find amusing, I also understand that not everyone feels the same as me.
And then there's stuff I don't like, so the warnings work for me as well.
Again, thanks.
me: *sees warning at the beginning*
me: thanks for the heads up *turns my headphones up*
i honestly gotta thank you for actually caring about the mental safety of your viewers unlike most ytp channels, good on you
0:14
*why is my food breathing*
Because foods are made by animals like: pigs, cows, chickens, and anything...
So basically animals are breathing.
That means food is breathing!
Don't ask me how.
"Cup, Cup, Cup, and a Qup"
Ha ha ha! I get the last one cause it almost sounds like Cup but with a "Q" sound at the beginning. I love that part
God she’s fast.
Back to your best with this. “Threeople” killed me...
“So, how much is plenty? I have a feeling my feet probably are.”
LOL what?! XD
"How many more are there?"
"Everyone."
"Have you ever been in the kitchen? If yes, you have witnessed failure in the kitchen." Jesus not even 30 seconds into the video and Chef has roasted me alive.
I laughed way harder at “electric brother” than I should have
That recap was awesome. So was the track at the end.
great vid :D I miss the good old days of just enjoying a YTP and not having a care in the world.
I have never seen a ytp with a tw and I genuinely appreciate it
I ALMOST PISSED MYSELF AT “SMALLT”
“End of Understanding” is a rather ominous new word combo
So glad you're making YTPs of instructional cooking videos, they are such an underrated source. Considering making an Adam Ragusea YTP one day myself lol
"[music becomes discordant]"
Already, I'm lovin' these closed captions.
He looks like an older version of Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker and that just makes it so much better
The best sequel to the best ytp I've seen in a while
Serious question, my thermometer reads in farenheit, how do I switch it to Thermots?
You may be looking at a Fahrenheimeter, the designs are pretty similar so it’s understandable that you would be confused.
In any case, if you must convert Fahrenheits to Thermomets, consult Ackermann’s algorithm for the easiest number.
Grurp.
Remember to carry the 1!
@@stephendonovan9084 which is 12.
@@madbbqer4343 Exactly. Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
@DaThings Your YTPs are absolutely the greatest that presently exist. No other YTP channel even comes close. 2 years are added to my lifespan every time you release a How it's Made YTP.
4:39 oh fuck it’s Big Beat Jonathan
"Thermometers, to measure Thermomets" I literally spit out my coffee... Lmao!
Pog to Ellie DaThings for the audio warning
You are truly one of the most consistently high quality YTP creators out there. This was amazing.
In fact, long ago, people used their body parts!
something about this is incredibly unsettling in a way i cannot place. this house has people in it-style.
'All you have to do is pour out a cup,
to get a sippy'
is the high point of my life and I wouldn't change a thing
I appreciate the warning about the audio, but there really should've been some warning about the math equation :/
Dude. Seriously. I don’t just laugh out loud at every single joke in a video all that often. You’re a fantastic youtuber
"Pounces are the best unit of measure!" -a cat, probably
"Why is my food breathing?" -someone who took shrooms before they ate
You can whiz in a kitchen... Never mind
I love that "end of understanding" thing!!! I hope it's cool if I reuse this idea!!