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Actual inspiring Jo stuff: -Maintaining successful TH-cam channels -Actively taking time to help others -Making strangers feel like friends Not so inspiring: -Existing while having a disability
Okay, here's my inspiring Jo stuff - A great communicator - Offers constructive dialogue in an often less than constructive world. - Offers insightful perspectives on a range of issues - I'm always learning from this channel
Good list, good additions. Jo is relatable on so meant levels! She looks so much like my daughter and her positive attitude helps me encourage my child to have a better outlook. I struggle with depression and negativity, but when I see Jo, even when she's down, I see my child and my reason for moving forward. She hates being called an inspiration, I know, so I'll say she gives me reason and the ability to look beyond this moment. And I'm thankful.
It's so weird to me that when you're struggling with an invisible disability (or issue, if you're not comfortable with calling it a disability [for example Depression/ADHD]), you're constantly told to try harder and you feel this enormous pressure because people think (or you think they think) you're just being lazy. But when you have a visible disability, people are amazed by everything, like they expect you should not even want to live anymore. Bringing this back to the depression thing where you might actually feel like you don't want to live anymore and people are like "you should think more positively". Yeah, thanks.
I have invisible disabilities, and I cannot tell you how many times I wished people could see it... like if I was experiencing symptoms and suddenly looked like I just got out of a car accident, maybe people would understand how difficult it things are right this second. But I don’t think I’d want it to be inspiring, just be validated. Example: “That seems really tricky. What’s that like? Will you let me know if something I do makes things more difficult than they could be?”
@@jgfrizzle you hit the nail on the head. 100%. I have 9 invisible chronic conditions and was constantly invalidated because my symptoms are invisible. Now that my body has invisibly deteriorated to the point that I can't leave the house without an high end filtration mask and a cane...suddenly I either get bombarded with intensely personal questions before being called inspirational, or I get wishes to "get better soon" (from a degenerative autoimmune condition), or I get told I'm too young to be that sick. People confuse the hell out of me with how often they can unironically be politely impolite. I always felt bad for getting angry about it, and now I understand why! I don't want to be someone's inspiration porn just because I got out of the house and managed the mundane. Everyone has challenges they have to face. I'm not unique despite the relative rarity of some of my conditions. There's over 7 billion humans on this rock, odds are more than a few are like me and just want to crack on with it. If people instead asked me how they could make things less challenging for me, or even just asked if I minded chatting about my conditions, I would be a lot less angry at the perceived intrusion.
Rach, that is so spot on! It's almost like, someone with visible differences, people think "omg I'm so sorry for that person, that must be so challenging and frustrating etc" But yet, even with multiple diagnosed, but invisible long term chronic illnesses, we get blamed. Like because people know limbs don't grow back or something? But the visibly disabled never get "have you tried (thing), I heard about this supplement, I have a friend of a friend who's brother had that, and he rubbed vegetable oil on his elbows for 2 weeks and he was cured!" And the list goes on and on. Like our illnesses are something we are actively doing, or not doing to cause them. It must be us it couldn't possibly have just happened to us. And you're so right about wishing people could see it! I've wished that so often, especially when I get those well meaning but hideous speeches. Even more fun is teaching new doctors about your illnesses! Because they only seem to learn about treatable or avoidable things
Yes, this exactly. It's infuriating. I've had people shame me for having invisible illnesses. Including the ever so helpful "Well have you tried not having a migraine?" and "If you just ignore it it'll go away". Lol, thanks, I'm cured. 🙄
"When I'm called inspirational, people are congratulating me for being the GOOD kind of disabled." THIS SO MUCH. Half the time I'm lazy and pathetic and the other half I'm inspirational, and the only difference is whether it's a good day or a bad day. So I'm pressured to put on the "inspirational disabled person" face every day because it's the only time I get to be somewhat human. Feeling like I have to be either inspirational and act like my disability doesn't touch me or I'm disgusting just harms my health because I push myself too hard.
Thanks for addressing this. I’m dealing with chemo for the fourth time. I appreciate that people think I’m brave and or inspirational but really I’m just a person whose body has betrayed her... often. I could do chemo or quit. That is not something to be praised for. It just draws attention to a problem I’d like to forget. Just enjoy me for me. Not cancer!
@Errrbody Drankz thanks, the only thing I know to do is move forward each day. If the only thing I can do on a day is get a shower then that’s at least a step forward. I can’t go backwards and I won’t quit. I just move forward but I hate being stared at. I hate being approached by strangers who want to talk about why I’m bald or whatever. I just want to live my lifeAs long as I have it.
Or that it’s all in your head, or that you’re faking it. Edit: or that “you don’t look sick” which is my personal favorite, and by that I mean my least favorite
@@elisei.c.4079 I was at an amusement park, using a scooter. A young boy came up to me and asked why I used the scooter, I looked like I could walk okay. I looked straight at his father as I kindly said, "Not all hurts can be seen. Mine are on the inside." Father looked away, guilt on his face. Little kids learn from what their parents say and they have no filter. I hope that little guy listened and learned something that day, I doubt his father did. Sure, I can walk, but it's painful and I would never be able to spend a day with my kids and grandkids at the park if I had to stand and walk for hours. Plus, I'd be in excruciating pain for a week afterwards.
@@cyn4476 I'm not yet at the wheelchair phase in my condition, but I have started bringing it up with my husband because I doubt I have many more years of walking left to me. Right now I can manage about 2 hours and then the agony hits and I physically can't stand any more. I have been told by a prospective employer that I "don't look disabled" despite my walking with a cane and leaning quite heavily on it. He seemed baffled when I said "thank you" so I clarified at his request by pointing out that I put a lot of energy and effort into "not looking disabled" so by his comment, it worked. I did, however, decide not to work at a place so quick to discount all invisible disabilities. Congrats on being able to stay calm and help a child understand a complex issue a little better.
Adversity p0rn is so hurtful. It ends up putting the expectation that every disabled person has to strive to be able. Especially when it comes to visible vs invisible disabilities.
I get soooo tired of this! 'It's amazing, how strong you are! I couldn't do what you do...' Really? So - what? You would just lay down in a crumpled heap for the rest of your life? No! You'd crack on! Like I do! Also - that suggestion that you are inspiring, just living your life - it takes away the permission to have bad days. If I'm in a foul mood because I'm in pain and haven't slept, am I letting people down? 🤔
True. But it’s definitely a challenge and requires strength and determination and I do think that’s something that is ok to say hey you’re strong! But maybe not condescending comments about inspiration lol 😆
I use a wheelchair so I can totally relate to this. I also get annoyed about it but have had a hard time pinning down the exact reasons. You just helped me do that! Thanks, Jo!
They just expect us to stay at home in our hospital bed with a crochet blanket and button up jammies and wait for people to dote on poor us. So anything more than that is a huge achievement in their eyes. Thank you for saying this and grasping the implications of inspiration p*rn!!!!!
@@MandieZangora exactly! It's exactly that, it's a way to make able bodied people feel good about themselves (inspiration p*rn). When I see people say "what's your excuse?? This person with one leg can do it" and etc. I now understand how disrespectful and dumb that is.
What I hear is that they have bigger expectations for other disabled people. Everyone should aspire to be able to do stuff they can't. In my experience, when people say someone is inspiring, they're side eyeing all of the "lazy bums" as if to tell them to get a job
For me in my day to day life I almost get the exact opposite thing. I have Dyslexia, Irlen syndrome and suspected dyspraxia. Most people expect me to be able to do normal stuff especially in school totally fine with no issues then get called stupid when I struggle
Yessss I appreciate this so much. I don’t get called inspiring often because I don’t *look* disabled(even with my service dog, people just think I’m training him for someone else a lot of the time), however! I watch it happen so frequently to folks in the disability community, it just feels like a constant reminder that I’m not “normal” and yeah, that maybe others think my life isn’t worth living. I genuinely do find you inspirational though, not because you’re disabled, but because you’re speaking up about these types of things that are difficult to speak up on and doing it in ways that are kind to everyone involved, which is something I always aspire to. Thanks for sharing.
The same for: " if i had diabetes i could never inject myself you are so brave ." I am not super brave for doing so. I have no choice it is injecting 4 times a day or dying
I can relate to this, not for diabetes but I have had many major surgeries for a congenital heart condition. If I didn't have my surgeries or take my medication I wouldn't be here. Then comes words along the line of "you must be mended now" errr nope
Honestly, as someone who has recently gone through a faith transition I think you're inspiring in talking about it- it's SO HARD and TERRIFYING to talk about. But I started talking about it too and because I did I have friends and family who reached out with similar pains. I'm so grateful for your example of speaking out about pain and hurt to destigmatize it so that people don't feel so alone. ♡
I am literally screaming yes yes yes at the screen I'm chronically ill and have chronic pain i use a wheelchair when and if i leave my house the word inspiration i hate so much people even some medical people use that word and i hate it more
Jo, I resonate with this so much. I was born with cerebral palsy and have been dealing with this my whole life. It can become exhausting, especially when I’m called inspirational just for riding the bus. I do think it’s usually well-intentioned, however it gets exhausting really fast. My emotional struggles far outweigh my physical ones because this is the only body I’ve ever known and I’m used to it. Thanks for making this video.
Speaking to my soul, Jo! I feel nauseated when people call me inspiring. I cringe and feel other and it dismisses so much more of who I am. Same for "I don't know how you do it" and "I couldn't do what you do." Uh, no one asked me, I just do the best I can each day, the same as anyone else. A social worker was calling me inspiring and I felt like if I told him how it makes me feel then it would hurt his feelings. I knew he wanted to bolster me up and recognized that what I go through is a lot. His intent was pure. But I began dreading our phone calls and when he would call me inspiring at the end. This is all a good example of intent vs impact.
I feel you ! been an Amputee for 32 years and I don't like being called inspirational. When people say that I ask them "Why do I inspire you and to do or how to feel what ?" then they usually don't have an answer. I am 38 years old and I grew up being an Amputee, I don't know it any other way and just live my life like everyone else. I don't pity myself (ok, maybe every several months when I am fed up with my disability, regular nerve pain in my stump, skin rashes in the Summer and a f***ing tight liner and socket) and just try to live life to the fullest like everyone else. What else shall I do ? Stand in the corner and cry ? Also I am proud to have a Star Trek Borg theme on my socket I am rocking it !! Who else can say that ? lol
That sounds so cool! I have been thinking of spicing up my boring hospital cane recently. I was leaning towards unicorns and glitter (really girly girl type stuff) but now I'm thinking a borg wrap might be really awesome 👌😎
I think you are one of the strongest person that I know of via the internet. Most of that is because of your mental health struggles. The missing foot is much less inspiring than your positivity and love of life after all the challenges you have faced.
@@ConnieAshlyn I took her comment about the same as “”you’re so inspiring”. This comment is well-meaning. People who tell you that you’re inspirational aren’t trying to be condescending either. Being strong or inspiring isn’t my favorite comments either. I was born in 1973. it’s amazing to me that being “inspiring” is the new/only insult people talk about of here. LOL
@@411Sun I mean I’m also disabled have a connective tissue disorder have had several major surgeries due to this. I also have major mental health issues. That’s why I know it takes a lot of strength to fight through the pain (mental or physical) or to accept your own disability at times. For me that’s why saying someone is strong isn’t as condescending as inspiring but I get your point too
@@ConnieAshlyn is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able. .
I feel similar to what you said, and I also feel like when people say that, they don't want to get to know me as a friend- like you said, they don't see you as an equal. Thanks for this!
I’ve been leg amputee most of my life. And I’ve heard this many times. As you said, being inspirational by just existing is foolish. When some tells me this, I try to remain positive in my reply but tell them that this is simply a part of life. Disability can happen to anybody, for any reason. My best friend got hurt on the job 25 years ago and fractured his back. Years before he said to me he didn’t think he could do what I do. I told him I didn’t I have a choice. As a leg amputee, I get up and put my legs on and go about my life, because the alternative is rotting away at home. Well when he had his accident, it was not fun, it was not easy, if you found the way to power thru and carry on living his life. He found out how strong he could be.
Another side of this "compliment" is how it implies that if you're unable to go out or do something and you're not visibly disabled, then you're just making excuses. I have epilepsy as well as bipolar type 2, both of which are invisible disabilities / disorders, people have told me countless times that I'm just lazy and I'm not trying hard enough. Physical disabilities are a challenge, but so are psychological , neurological or other "invisible" ones. It just gives out the message that "if i can't see your disability, it doesn't exist" and that's fucked up in so many ways.
I'm allergic to tobacco, nicotine, ciggs, etc, growing up my parents told me to just "get over it'" when I had asthma/allergy issues. I got bronchitis numerous times from it, too and they ignored that also.
You are inspiring! Not because you lost your leg, but because of how you deal with things. Because of how open you talk about your struggles on the internet! I love to watch your videos because that’s the way I can understand people like you!
Thanks for sharing this. I've heard similar things from others with visible disabilities and this message needs to be repeated often to help normalize disability and fight ableism. (And it's definitely touched something for me too, because I have psychiatric disabilities, and I'm not able to get out or function very well in terms of society's definition of "normal functioning." Like I've felt I can only be seen as valuable if I can totally overcome the depression and other issues I face, and I haven't been able to very much thus far. There is a lot of internalized ableism I direct toward myself along the lines of "why can't you deal better with problems that are just mental or psychological when there are many people with 'real' issues like physical disabilities who aren't bitter and depressed and defeated and struggling?" Certainly comments about 'crying in the corner' can ratchet this up a bit when I don't even have any physical problems and can contribute to a cycle of reinforcing the internalized stigma of severe depression and perpetuating negative self talk. I can understand rationally that making such a comparison isn't fair and isn't helpful, but emotionally I have an extremely poor self image since I'm not even doing "normal" things every day.)
I've never thought about it in this way, but I appreciate your explanation! I think sometimes the word "inspirational" is used in haste, rather than thinking of something more suitable or appropriate. Personally, I could see it being meant like "I admire your strength" because it does take strength to overcome the challenges of being an amputee, not just when doing something "normal," but every day there are new and unique challenges that you need to overcome. But I think you are right that we need to use better words instead of over-using "Inspirational."
Love this video. I am "the bad disabled person ". I have torn ligaments in both of my wrists and it limits some of my movements and causes a lot of pain. Because my diagnosis took many years (long story) I was often accused of faking. Also, I have had many people tell me to stop complaining, because "some people are amputated and they're living their life, so why am I complaining?"
Oh joy, the "stop complaining others have it worse" comments. My mother used to do that to me when my migraine journey began. Now she has migraines and hates being told to stop complaining. Karma is a real shark sometimes.
The inspirational aspect I choose to believe is not simple the fact that you are an amputee Jo, it is the fact that you have been on a journey since you fell off that horse that formed the part of you that people find inspirational. The battle to overcome obstacles, the struggle through pain, the mental perseverance that people with disabilities go through everyday is the inspirational part. I work an office job and battle multiple autoimmune diseases and when I discuss my health with colleagues (because they are not always visible) they often say I am an inspiration due to the fact that I do the same job as them but I have a LOT of challenges to overcome that they do not even have to think about. The definition of inspiration is “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something” and I think disabled people invoke this in others. I choose to focus on the fact that others who have not experienced the same journey are stimulated to feel something by what you or I have navigated through.
Do you know what part of your video inspires me, when you smile and welcome your beautiful internet friends. It’s kind, positive, and it just feels inspirational being a part of the environment you create. When I’m a part of that mindset, it is much easier for me to smile and pass that positive feeling to others.
I think one of my favorite things about you is that you keep it real. The good, the bad, the ugly, the struggles, the joy, the fun... It's just real. You don't sugarcoat it.
SO MUCH YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! Thank you! I definitely hate the rhetoric of “wow I can’t ever complain about my life again because you’re going through so much more!” Like...yeah I’m going through hell and I’m miserable BUT that doesn’t mean that someone who’s dealing with hard things shouldn’t be allowed to complain about their hardships. The gatekeepers of suffering just makes everyone feel worse about the situation at hand 🙃
Yes, this puts it into words perfectly. I have multiple autoimmune diseases and most of the time, my disabilities are invisible. When I'm having a bad spell, though, they are much more apparent. And like a light switch, I go from a "normal" person who no one gives a second look at to being "so inspirational." I'm also extremely introverted, so the sudden attention makes me very uncomfortable. Also, the part about calling a visibly disabled person being a nice way of saying "I wouldn't want to live like that" is 100% true in at least some cases. I have a coworker whose adult daughter started dating a below-knee amputee. And when my coworker was telling people about her daughter's boyfriend, she'd add "I don't see how he'd want to live like that."
I was in my wheelchair at the grocery store check out line when the cashier says, "Wow! You're so inspirational!" My response: "I AM pretty good at picking up groceries, if I do say so myself." If you work hard and believe in yourself, someday YOU TOO can pay for your own groceries. I believe in you, two-leggers! 🤔 Hmmm. . . maybe I should get into the minimum wage grocery bagging business. Sounds like I have a real talent.
This whole video is so on point. Two experiences of mine that stand out are being called inspirational while looking at the exercise equipment isle in Walmart (I'm a wheelchair user) and for turning around in a tight elevator. For me, those are such mundane moments it was very uncomfortable and patronizing to be called out for being inspirational. Not to mention embarrassing because is usually happens in front of other strangers. There are so many other things in my life I would rather people be inspired by - my art, my writing, my work with animals... I don't want the bar to be set so low that those things I work so hard on feel devalued. I think people mean it in a good way, but they don't realize they're usually serving their own self confidence rather than the person they're "complimenting" in these moments.
I really love learning and listening to you Jo because you have these conversations. You talk about stigma and you *talk* about the adversity. I have my own mental health and physical challenges and it's encouraging to hear from others with similar (but also totally different, in a way!) challenges and that it's not all sunshine and daisies. But it's also helpful to hear your successes with mental and physical health. I hope it's clear, you're not inspirational for just existing with a disability! You're encouraging and educational and a parasocial "friend" in tough times.
Jo you NAILED it in this video! I'm a left BKA of 14 months. But I've dealt with diabetes for 40 years, and a super-rare (1 in a million) genetic respiratory disease that was only diagnosed when I was 47 (10 years ago). In these past 10 years, I've had numerous times I should have (& almost did) die. But it's all 'invisible'. However, the moment I became a BKA, I've been 'inspirational'. That has messed with my head sooooo much. I scream in my thoughts "I'm a normal person." Thank you for helping me through this! I truly appreciate your videos for helping me understand what I'm dealing with. I believe only us 'disabled' people can truly help other 'disabled' people, because we 'get it.' You rock, girl! Keep it up.
As a fellow disabled person here, I completely agree with you. This is often said to me too, and often I do say something about it. Of course in a nice way. I often tell them: “I am just living my normal life. Yes it has changed when I got disabled, but this is my normal now. I am just living my life, there is nothing special of inspirational about it”. I don’t want to be too harsh because that isn’t my personality. I’m not a people pleaser but I really don’t want to come across as rude. So in my opinion you aren’t rude for saying these things. As long as you explain to people why, even if it is in a simple/short way like I describe it (mostly during conversations on the shorter side). But in longer conversations and like in this video to share with many people, you can explain it in more detail. So thank you for making this video. I have always replied like what I wrote before, but I never thought about it this deep and this explains my feelings a lot.
I think you have it right. I recently made a somewhat related post on Facebook: "Caution: giving someone praise for something that isn't true will make them doubt your judgement, if not your honesty." I was addressing a different issue, and "isn't true" should have been "doesn't feel true". In any case, it was about the discomfort with receiving praise that is "off".
This is an interesting discussion. "Congratulating" a disabled person for being able to do normal tasks is something I do as a health care worker seeing progress in rehabilitation. Celebrating the small accomplishments together. I might gush about how strong, positive and resourceful some of them are to colleagues, but don't do that much to patients directly. Often it might seem patronizing I think. As for inspiring it's not really a word I use to describe people, but I certainly admire alot of disabled people.
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out of special Ed in second grade.I would be pissed of I was classified as that cause I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's . I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army cause I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able. .
@@kingnate9534 If having an iep means you're classified as having a disability and what that means for enlisting in the army I really don't have any clue about (not even American). Hope you can figure it out. In any case, best of luck! I get why being called disabled makes you angry. I know I used the term ''disabled people'' in my comment, but it does have it's baggage. Not everyone under the moon with some diagnosis wants to be labeled as disabled, or feel at all disabled in their daily lives. Hell, I have several friends with dyslexia who got some form of special ed in primary and secondary school. Today they have bachelour and master degrees and are doing as well or better than me.
@@kingnate9534 hey, look I'm sorry I don't know about the American army, but I have a disability and I have always been in selective classes and schools for "gifted" students. I don't think having a disability and being intelligent are really mutually exclusive. Up to you though if you want to identify with the term disabled, but I just want you to know it's inherently not a bad thing, just a descriptor.
"Disabled people are being congratulated for doing extraordinarily normal things." This sums it up perfectly for me Jo and sometimes annoys me too!! Thank you for having the guts to be so honest and share this, I've always felt it and thought it!
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able. .
You are such a kind and caring person. Your ability to see things positively plus your drive to help others truly is inspiring. I look up to you because you are a genuinely wonderful person. So yes, I do find you inspiring, but it's because of who you are.
People struggle with so much, medical issues, mental issues, money issues, physical issues, social issues, age. Certainly much of the time there isn’t something so visible as a physical disability for all to see but people are impacted by adversity just the same. When someone calls you inspirational it’s because they recognize adversity, perhaps all too well, and want to express encouragement and support to a fellow human whose issues might be more obvious than theirs. For starters we all know that course or insensitive remarks abound and to say things like “I wish you the best” or even “good luck” don’t really seem to fit, I think. To say “you inspire me (in my struggles)” frankly seems more sympathetic. It’s meant as encouragement and it has the added benefit of being true. You’re facing life, you’re thriving! I can do that too! Meanwhile let me say I love your inspirational, meaningful videos!
Haven't watched the video yet but wanted to jump in here and say Jo, I find you inspirational because of the way you verbalize your thoughts, use your platform to encourage opening our minds, and share with us your struggles as well as your successes. At least, those are the reasons you've inspired me, and I thank you. ♥️🍍
So many thoughts and feeling about this. First I don't feel weird when another disabled person (that I know) tells me "I'm inspiration" because I feel like they know what is really hard for me and have a base line for how hard it is. So I feel like it's like a hug of like "today's tough but your doing it". But when it's all from able bodied people that hardly know me it makes me feel like how you describe. Second, as a child who grew up as a disability it's toxic af. That pressure you talked about having to be inspiring is soooo bad. It taught me that I wasn't allowed to show when I was in pain or take the breaks I needed and I'm so much worse for it as I've grown up because I've pushed my body far to much and now my disability is harder to manage. 🤷
Thank you for addressing this, I appreciate you giving your perspective. I've found it troubling lately to articulate these exact thoughts for many different reasons, one of which is probably the incredible amount of anxiety and paranoia that comes with being in public for me Being a RBKA, &still using my wheelchair alot of days because I'm just not comfortable enough to being on my prosthetic alone yet. It sort of has a way of forcing me to feel as though I have to be "ON" on a constant and consistent basis which is exhausting, and if we're not then like you said.. "we're the bad kind of disabled" Being called inspiring feels alot like being told congratulations for existing. Yes, I've struggled..and I'm still here. What? Oh you were expecting or wanting me to give up. Okay cool. Thanks?
Hi Jo, I always love watching your videos. I just wanted thank you for taking about this and you have definitely changed my perspective and I appreciate it. I also really agree with when you said it isn't "inspiring" until it is a visible disability. I always look forward to you posting new videos. You always make me so happy and make my day. Thank you for everything.
Since I mostly see you sitting down in your residence, without any disability in plain sight, it is easy to just see you as a delightful, energetic (mostly), caffeinated, bubbly person who cheers me up just by sharing your life journey, through the ups and downs, the victories and defeats (and migraines -- oh! how I hate migraines), and I always look forward to your next video. Keep up the good work!!
Yep Jo, I totally get it. Someone once told me it was a privilege to teach me something, when all I wanted was us to be friends. But that statement only put distance between us. Totally get it. I don't know if they know they're doing it, but yes, they are putting you into the "inspirational box" and in a sense dismissing you, you have been dealt with by a display of virtue. I admit, within myself if I see a disabled person just going for it and accomplishing something, sometimes I am deeply moved by the fact that they do not let the obstacle stop them, But I keep it private, because I don't believe they feel the need for that. All we crave is friendship in the normal things of life. And yes, GREAT accomplishments can be inspirational!
I like that you mention the store because that's usually where I get it. It just leaves me thinking do they think it's inspirational for a paraplegic to leave the house, or do they think it's inspirational that a paraplegic has friends to go places with? It's not a nice feeling.
Love this video! Thank you for addressing this. I've worked with the disabled community (in particular the blind community) a lot, and I hate when people say this. Especially since I have an invisible disability, I am very aware that it is said out of a snap judgment.
I had to pause part way through this to say this: having to do things DIFFERENTLY from others doesn't make it bad or worse or less effective. I think when most people look at those with disabilities they assume that you having to do things in a different way is by definition worse or more difficult or bad. I see this all the time with employers who assume that because a disabled employee can't do things the exact same way as someone else means they can't do it at all... And then they are shocked when the disabled employee not only does it just as well as other employees, but sometimes even better than other employees (afterall, trying things a different way sometimes leads to a better way)... My mantra for this reason is "Different doesn't mean bad".... But, of course, it also means "Different doesn't mean inspirational".... Different just means different.... Now back to the video...
Thanks so much for sharing this! It makes so much sense. Like you're just doing your own thing. I totally get that. It's ironically belittling in a way. Your examples here are absolutely fantastic. And it makes it so much worse when people make these comments on a consistent basis. What a strange set of interactions. Thank you for providing this perspective.
I have a disability that you can't see by looking at me. I have epilepsy and I went deaf at 32 due to serious skin tumors in my ears. One ear they tried to save and the reconstruction didn't take, but the other ear I still have about 50% hearing. Still, if you talk to me from behind or at the left I won't be able to hear and people get a little upset. Until I let them in on the fact that I have these disabilities, then I become this inspiration to them. Really, I'm just me I'm not awe inspiring, or an inspiration, I'm just trying to learn how to get through life differently. Not being able to hear really sucks, and until I got my hearing aid, I missed out on so many sounds that we take for granted. Like the wind, the sound of the birds, and the traffic. Thank you for talking about this, it really needed to be said.
Thanks for this video. I totally agree for often I feel like often when people call me (I'm a wheelchair user) inspiring the only thing I've inspired in them is gratitude that they're not me, and honestly I don't need to hear about that.
As a german I noticed Americans often compliment stuff that makes them feel uncomfortable. (Look at a Video of someone who has survived an acid attack the whole commentsection ist full of "oh they are so beautiful" but their struggles are not addressed) I think that's happening here too. They compliment so they can move on and not confront the idea of how fragile their body is. I personally follow you because you seem like a nice person and also to understand your struggles better. I ll soon start my work in the social system of germany and I want to know what struggles someone faces when he/she tells me " I ve lost a leg" so I can help them accordingly. I am thankful that you speak so openly about your issues.
Connie M. I was born with physical and mental disability. When I was going through surgeries in the 80’s-early 90’s. I never once thought of it is being brave are strong. It was just something I had to do. Other people didn’t . I had some support, not to say no one was on my side. I had a surgeon call me brave one time and it seemed awkward. Because to me it wasn’t being brave it was just surviving. They were starting to put me under and talk about my surgery. When I told them that they needed to take a tendon from somewhere else on my leg. And they ran and got my surgeon so I could tell him before I went completely under. That’s what happened and he called me brave.
I think this is a great video thank you for coming with some hard hitting topics. I really admire you for saying that you have issues with/ disagree with certain things(it seems like lots of people are scared to voice real opinions on issues that affect a lot of people). The internet is a crappy place sometimes, but I am really glad you are challenging my and other people’s thinking!
Hello there, beautiful, lovely internet Mom. You and your content it amazing because of how honest and kind you are to your audience and how good your videos are, Jo your amazing 💜
In some ways I can relate this to creepy compliments about my figure. They say the best compliments you can give are about choices someone made that express their identity/creativity/skills etc. Things you can control. You certainly cannot control a disability in that sense, and so that is how I related to why you're uncomfortable with inspo compliments. I mean, besides all the other valid and thought-provoking points you made, of course!
Sure, I clicked on your video about You Tube trying to censor you because of your amputation videos, I don't like censorship, so I was curious about it. I have since watched a ton of your videos (I saw my first video last week), and this is what I find inspiring about you. In your videos, you are very human about your experiences. I've dealt with some crap in my life too (no, I'm not disabled) and you make it a bit easy to connect on a human and dare I say, spiritual level. Many times I find myself asking, "what's the point"? and you clearly state that these are valid feelings and that you (Me) are not alone. So yeah, you are an inspiration in that you are wise beyond your years and you inspire me to think about my life. I have decided b/c of watching your videos to seek counseling again; and for that, I thank you. And also, you just happen to be missing a leg, but that is not all there is to you as I've seen.
We need to shift from the charity model. Thank you for sharing this, we need to know and understand message you are coming from, from a person with a disability.
You are a very good speaker (even though there are cuts in the video which probably improves the flow). You speak for twenty minutes, and I hang on to every word. You radiate friendliness and sincerity. I could almost call you inspiring or awesome, but I can settle for cute 😄. Love your content, Jo!
Thank you for addressing this... I’ve always wondered if am I a bad person for not finding someone with a visible disability inspiring (when they’re just going about their daily life). I have multiple invisible disabilities where just doing my “normal” daily activities is really tough but no one knows! No one ever consider finding me just getting to the coffee shop inspiring! 😂
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able. .
This is really interesting, never thought about this in depth! But it is difficult to generalize because for different people different things are things they aspire, isn't it? It is an interesting topic to think about and maybe change the way one uses the word.
Last year ... on july 7 i was working in a factory as a laborer on stone crusher.. accidentally i slipped and my foot grabed by crushing machine ... its was so fast and it didn't gave me any time to understand.... after that when i wake up i dont know what happened with me ... i didn't realize what's happening or what's going on with me ....when i feeel i have to go washroom for loo then i realize whats happening with me when i try to leave the bed and try to walk but i was not able to walk... on which stone crusher i was working from last 3 years... on which machine i was working and earning my bread butter... that machine crushed my foot .... Till today its almost 10 months... i never stood on my single foot... Due to my low income job in india i was not able to buy any prosthetic leg .... You are lucky that you are in united states..... you are blessed with so many things.... but in my country in India.... everything just like a dream.... Our govt didn't help us like your country....
My usual answer is "well what other choices are there?" :) Might add that your channel along with Gems (wheels no heels) and Stynalane is that you are wonderfully quirky and in many aspecs share the same humor. ^^ And yes some support to as a fellow disabled.
I just found your videos today, obviously I subscribed. I remembered seeing somewhere the picture of you when you had colored the scissors onto your ankle. I'm now binge watching because I like your personality. Take Care🙂🙃🥂
I went through a rough patch where my mom chose to post on Facebook n what not asking people to write in hopes of cheering me up. SOOOO many letters had the word inspiration/inspiring/inspired (because they had read my story which involves getting half my brain removed), that it ruined the word and I had to ban in from my vocabulary all together..
People are just ignorant. And, I think that unfortunately, you are correct. People often give others ( people who they superficially perceive as different) empty compliments but their actual reactions to these “different people “ are far more complex and self centered than inspiration. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. You are an advocate of change, and I commend you for that. Just know that there is no distance and no differentiation in reality, people are just simple minded for the most part and the separations they create with their words are short lived and superficial .
100% aligned with you on this one, Jo. If you wouldn’t congratulate someone for queuing at McDonald’s while black, don’t tell someone they are inspiring for buying coffee while disabled. What that really means is “hey, your life is so much worse than mine so seeing you makes me feel better about myself”. It’s patronising, demeaning, and inauthentic. People aren’t wrong for having that thought or feeling but they need to kept it the f**k to themselves! I’ve had the “well, if I was in pain all the time I’d kill myself” one, too. That’s about the worst. Being chronically ill is demoralising enough, without that!
I'm sure that I've told you that you are inspirational a time or two. I do mean that in a positive and supportive way. But I understand your concerns about this term too. I'm not sure how to express how I feel about this right now, but it's definitely something to ponder. Perhaps we need to know what someone like me can say instead so that we don't put you in a box so to speak. This is very thought provoking!
I have not been exposed to that yet because I am a new amputee. I seen a few people in public and thought that they are an inspiration because I knew that was going to be a decision I was going to have to make sooner that later in my life (including watching your videos.) unfortunately I had to make that decision, and it’s been 3 weeks. So far some of the things I experienced I heard on your videos (from a person going through the actual experience and not “doctor” speak.) seeing person walking in a grocery story or watching your videos lets me know with some hard work and determination, I will accomplish some mobility and maybe able to make it look as easy as you do.
Being the inspirational disabled doesn't make others feel as uncomfortable as being around the sad disabled person. I feel like I'm a young child when they say to me that I am inspirational. Like, wow, well done you managed to go to the bathroom by yourself, good job 🤗
Have you ever tried saying that to them? I did once. Got asked for my story on why I use a cane, got called so inspirational after sharing and just deadpanned "I can go potty in the big girl potty all by myself too". Funniest...facial...expressions...ever!
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able. .
That was really interesting for me, as someone who's not disabled. I always assumed the problem with the telling disables people that they are "inspiring" is that it happens a lot of times in situations when they basically just live their life and do kinda daily occuring tasks (as you said, going to buy groceries, walking). And not really do something outstanding for them. If I see e.g. an amputee running marathon that would be really "inspiring" in my opinion. That's already really hard for an able-bodied person, but I imagine achieving that when you're missing a leg is so much harder. But that's just what I assumed as an able-bodied person, so maybe I'm totally wrong with this. I'm happy to have a conversation about it, if someone see's it different. Much love from Germany 🤗
You are 100% correct on why people with disabilities/disabled people get called inspirational for just doing normal things. It is patronizing. And it is wrong for people to say this, even if they "mean well." Take comfort that you're not alone in this. Just as an example, both Molly Burke & Jessica Kellgren-Fozard have both made videos on the topic. I've taken university classes on this. But it's not talked about because people with disabilities are and have been othered. I can't gather my thoughts properly in an eloquent comment to discuss the history of this problem or offer support. But I'm sorry more people don't understand this
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This is what I think.
If you were standing in the hot blazing sun, I wouldn’t call you inspiring, but I would call you perspiring……..🤪🤣😘😘😘
Actual inspiring Jo stuff:
-Maintaining successful TH-cam channels
-Actively taking time to help others
-Making strangers feel like friends
Not so inspiring:
-Existing while having a disability
Well said! 💪🍍
Okay, here's my inspiring Jo stuff
- A great communicator
- Offers constructive dialogue in an often less than constructive world.
- Offers insightful perspectives on a range of issues
- I'm always learning from this channel
YES!!
@@gt96g perfect additions to the list!
Good list, good additions.
Jo is relatable on so meant levels! She looks so much like my daughter and her positive attitude helps me encourage my child to have a better outlook. I struggle with depression and negativity, but when I see Jo, even when she's down, I see my child and my reason for moving forward.
She hates being called an inspiration, I know, so I'll say she gives me reason and the ability to look beyond this moment. And I'm thankful.
It's so weird to me that when you're struggling with an invisible disability (or issue, if you're not comfortable with calling it a disability [for example Depression/ADHD]), you're constantly told to try harder and you feel this enormous pressure because people think (or you think they think) you're just being lazy. But when you have a visible disability, people are amazed by everything, like they expect you should not even want to live anymore. Bringing this back to the depression thing where you might actually feel like you don't want to live anymore and people are like "you should think more positively". Yeah, thanks.
I have invisible disabilities, and I cannot tell you how many times I wished people could see it... like if I was experiencing symptoms and suddenly looked like I just got out of a car accident, maybe people would understand how difficult it things are right this second. But I don’t think I’d want it to be inspiring, just be validated. Example: “That seems really tricky. What’s that like? Will you let me know if something I do makes things more difficult than they could be?”
@@jgfrizzle you hit the nail on the head. 100%. I have 9 invisible chronic conditions and was constantly invalidated because my symptoms are invisible. Now that my body has invisibly deteriorated to the point that I can't leave the house without an high end filtration mask and a cane...suddenly I either get bombarded with intensely personal questions before being called inspirational, or I get wishes to "get better soon" (from a degenerative autoimmune condition), or I get told I'm too young to be that sick. People confuse the hell out of me with how often they can unironically be politely impolite. I always felt bad for getting angry about it, and now I understand why!
I don't want to be someone's inspiration porn just because I got out of the house and managed the mundane. Everyone has challenges they have to face. I'm not unique despite the relative rarity of some of my conditions. There's over 7 billion humans on this rock, odds are more than a few are like me and just want to crack on with it. If people instead asked me how they could make things less challenging for me, or even just asked if I minded chatting about my conditions, I would be a lot less angry at the perceived intrusion.
Rach, that is so spot on! It's almost like, someone with visible differences, people think "omg I'm so sorry for that person, that must be so challenging and frustrating etc"
But yet, even with multiple diagnosed, but invisible long term chronic illnesses, we get blamed. Like because people know limbs don't grow back or something? But the visibly disabled never get "have you tried (thing), I heard about this supplement, I have a friend of a friend who's brother had that, and he rubbed vegetable oil on his elbows for 2 weeks and he was cured!" And the list goes on and on. Like our illnesses are something we are actively doing, or not doing to cause them. It must be us it couldn't possibly have just happened to us.
And you're so right about wishing people could see it! I've wished that so often, especially when I get those well meaning but hideous speeches.
Even more fun is teaching new doctors about your illnesses! Because they only seem to learn about treatable or avoidable things
Yes, this exactly. It's infuriating. I've had people shame me for having invisible illnesses. Including the ever so helpful "Well have you tried not having a migraine?" and "If you just ignore it it'll go away". Lol, thanks, I'm cured. 🙄
Omg YES!! Exactly
"When I'm called inspirational, people are congratulating me for being the GOOD kind of disabled." THIS SO MUCH.
Half the time I'm lazy and pathetic and the other half I'm inspirational, and the only difference is whether it's a good day or a bad day. So I'm pressured to put on the "inspirational disabled person" face every day because it's the only time I get to be somewhat human. Feeling like I have to be either inspirational and act like my disability doesn't touch me or I'm disgusting just harms my health because I push myself too hard.
Thanks for addressing this. I’m dealing with chemo for the fourth time. I appreciate that people think I’m brave and or inspirational but really I’m just a person whose body has betrayed her... often. I could do chemo or quit. That is not something to be praised for. It just draws attention to a problem I’d like to forget. Just enjoy me for me. Not cancer!
Sending love not bc you have cancer,but because you are a human and deserve love and good vibes💗💛
@@kjs22 that I can get behind! 🙂 Thanks!
@Errrbody Drankz thanks, the only thing I know to do is move forward each day. If the only thing I can do on a day is get a shower then that’s at least a step forward. I can’t go backwards and I won’t quit. I just move forward but I hate being stared at. I hate being approached by strangers who want to talk about why I’m bald or whatever. I just want to live my lifeAs long as I have it.
And on the flip side, having an invisible disability causes some people to say you are weak, lazy, lying, etc, the list goes on and on.
Or that it’s all in your head, or that you’re faking it.
Edit: or that “you don’t look sick” which is my personal favorite, and by that I mean my least favorite
@@elisei.c.4079 I was at an amusement park, using a scooter. A young boy came up to me and asked why I used the scooter, I looked like I could walk okay. I looked straight at his father as I kindly said, "Not all hurts can be seen. Mine are on the inside." Father looked away, guilt on his face. Little kids learn from what their parents say and they have no filter. I hope that little guy listened and learned something that day, I doubt his father did.
Sure, I can walk, but it's painful and I would never be able to spend a day with my kids and grandkids at the park if I had to stand and walk for hours. Plus, I'd be in excruciating pain for a week afterwards.
@@cyn4476 I'm not yet at the wheelchair phase in my condition, but I have started bringing it up with my husband because I doubt I have many more years of walking left to me. Right now I can manage about 2 hours and then the agony hits and I physically can't stand any more. I have been told by a prospective employer that I "don't look disabled" despite my walking with a cane and leaning quite heavily on it. He seemed baffled when I said "thank you" so I clarified at his request by pointing out that I put a lot of energy and effort into "not looking disabled" so by his comment, it worked. I did, however, decide not to work at a place so quick to discount all invisible disabilities.
Congrats on being able to stay calm and help a child understand a complex issue a little better.
Truth
I’ve also gotten “die so you don’t contaminate us with your presence.”
Adversity p0rn is so hurtful. It ends up putting the expectation that every disabled person has to strive to be able. Especially when it comes to visible vs invisible disabilities.
I get soooo tired of this! 'It's amazing, how strong you are! I couldn't do what you do...'
Really? So - what? You would just lay down in a crumpled heap for the rest of your life? No! You'd crack on! Like I do!
Also - that suggestion that you are inspiring, just living your life - it takes away the permission to have bad days. If I'm in a foul mood because I'm in pain and haven't slept, am I letting people down?
🤔
True. But it’s definitely a challenge and requires strength and determination and I do think that’s something that is ok to say hey you’re strong! But maybe not condescending comments about inspiration lol 😆
I use a wheelchair so I can totally relate to this. I also get annoyed about it but have had a hard time pinning down the exact reasons. You just helped me do that! Thanks, Jo!
I so agree with you i use a wheelchair too
When people say that I think it shows that they sorta have low expectations for you
They just expect us to stay at home in our hospital bed with a crochet blanket and button up jammies and wait for people to dote on poor us. So anything more than that is a huge achievement in their eyes. Thank you for saying this and grasping the implications of inspiration p*rn!!!!!
@@MandieZangora exactly! It's exactly that, it's a way to make able bodied people feel good about themselves (inspiration p*rn). When I see people say "what's your excuse?? This person with one leg can do it" and etc. I now understand how disrespectful and dumb that is.
What I hear is that they have bigger expectations for other disabled people. Everyone should aspire to be able to do stuff they can't. In my experience, when people say someone is inspiring, they're side eyeing all of the "lazy bums" as if to tell them to get a job
For me in my day to day life I almost get the exact opposite thing. I have Dyslexia, Irlen syndrome and suspected dyspraxia. Most people expect me to be able to do normal stuff especially in school totally fine with no issues then get called stupid when I struggle
I have some of these and I know exactly what you mean. I would love for being able to be an artist despite having disabilities
Yessss I appreciate this so much. I don’t get called inspiring often because I don’t *look* disabled(even with my service dog, people just think I’m training him for someone else a lot of the time), however! I watch it happen so frequently to folks in the disability community, it just feels like a constant reminder that I’m not “normal” and yeah, that maybe others think my life isn’t worth living. I genuinely do find you inspirational though, not because you’re disabled, but because you’re speaking up about these types of things that are difficult to speak up on and doing it in ways that are kind to everyone involved, which is something I always aspire to. Thanks for sharing.
You never mention that you lost a foot anymore. Does that mean you finally found it?
😂😂
Nope, it seems to always be just one step away from her finding it……….😘😉🤣🤪
The same for: " if i had diabetes i could never inject myself you are so brave ." I am not super brave for doing so. I have no choice it is injecting 4 times a day or dying
I can relate to this, not for diabetes but I have had many major surgeries for a congenital heart condition. If I didn't have my surgeries or take my medication I wouldn't be here. Then comes words along the line of "you must be mended now" errr nope
Honestly, as someone who has recently gone through a faith transition I think you're inspiring in talking about it- it's SO HARD and TERRIFYING to talk about. But I started talking about it too and because I did I have friends and family who reached out with similar pains. I'm so grateful for your example of speaking out about pain and hurt to destigmatize it so that people don't feel so alone. ♡
I am literally screaming yes yes yes at the screen I'm chronically ill and have chronic pain i use a wheelchair when and if i leave my house the word inspiration i hate so much people even some medical people use that word and i hate it more
Jo, I resonate with this so much. I was born with cerebral palsy and have been dealing with this my whole life. It can become exhausting, especially when I’m called inspirational just for riding the bus. I do think it’s usually well-intentioned, however it gets exhausting really fast. My emotional struggles far outweigh my physical ones because this is the only body I’ve ever known and I’m used to it. Thanks for making this video.
Speaking to my soul, Jo! I feel nauseated when people call me inspiring. I cringe and feel other and it dismisses so much more of who I am. Same for "I don't know how you do it" and "I couldn't do what you do." Uh, no one asked me, I just do the best I can each day, the same as anyone else. A social worker was calling me inspiring and I felt like if I told him how it makes me feel then it would hurt his feelings. I knew he wanted to bolster me up and recognized that what I go through is a lot. His intent was pure. But I began dreading our phone calls and when he would call me inspiring at the end. This is all a good example of intent vs impact.
I feel you ! been an Amputee for 32 years and I don't like being called inspirational. When people say that I ask them "Why do I inspire you and to do or how to feel what ?" then they usually don't have an answer. I am 38 years old and I grew up being an Amputee, I don't know it any other way and just live my life like everyone else. I don't pity myself (ok, maybe every several months when I am fed up with my disability, regular nerve pain in my stump, skin rashes in the Summer and a f***ing tight liner and socket) and just try to live life to the fullest like everyone else. What else shall I do ? Stand in the corner and cry ? Also I am proud to have a Star Trek Borg theme on my socket I am rocking it !! Who else can say that ? lol
That sounds so cool! I have been thinking of spicing up my boring hospital cane recently. I was leaning towards unicorns and glitter (really girly girl type stuff) but now I'm thinking a borg wrap might be really awesome 👌😎
I think you are one of the strongest person that I know of via the internet. Most of that is because of your mental health struggles. The missing foot is much less inspiring than your positivity and love of life after all the challenges you have faced.
This is a better way to validate and encourage someone rather than saying “such an inspiration”~ lol
@@ConnieAshlyn I took her comment about the same as “”you’re so inspiring”. This comment is well-meaning. People who tell you that you’re inspirational aren’t trying to be condescending either. Being strong or inspiring isn’t my favorite comments either. I was born in 1973. it’s amazing to me that being “inspiring” is the new/only insult people talk about of here. LOL
@@411Sun I mean I’m also disabled have a connective tissue disorder have had several major surgeries due to this. I also have major mental health issues.
That’s why I know it takes a lot of strength to fight through the pain (mental or physical) or to accept your own disability at times. For me that’s why saying someone is strong isn’t as condescending as inspiring but I get your point too
@@ConnieAshlyn is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able.
.
I feel similar to what you said, and I also feel like when people say that, they don't want to get to know me as a friend- like you said, they don't see you as an equal. Thanks for this!
I’ve been leg amputee most of my life. And I’ve heard this many times. As you said, being inspirational by just existing is foolish. When some tells me this, I try to remain positive in my reply but tell them that this is simply a part of life. Disability can happen to anybody, for any reason.
My best friend got hurt on the job 25 years ago and fractured his back. Years before he said to me he didn’t think he could do what I do. I told him I didn’t I have a choice. As a leg amputee, I get up and put my legs on and go about my life, because the alternative is rotting away at home. Well when he had his accident, it was not fun, it was not easy, if you found the way to power thru and carry on living his life. He found out how strong he could be.
Another side of this "compliment" is how it implies that if you're unable to go out or do something and you're not visibly disabled, then you're just making excuses. I have epilepsy as well as bipolar type 2, both of which are invisible disabilities / disorders, people have told me countless times that I'm just lazy and I'm not trying hard enough.
Physical disabilities are a challenge, but so are psychological , neurological or other "invisible" ones. It just gives out the message that "if i can't see your disability, it doesn't exist" and that's fucked up in so many ways.
I'm allergic to tobacco, nicotine, ciggs, etc, growing up my parents told me to just "get over it'" when I had asthma/allergy issues. I got bronchitis numerous times from it, too and they ignored that also.
You are inspiring! Not because you lost your leg, but because of how you deal with things. Because of how open you talk about your struggles on the internet! I love to watch your videos because that’s the way I can understand people like you!
Thanks for sharing this. I've heard similar things from others with visible disabilities and this message needs to be repeated often to help normalize disability and fight ableism.
(And it's definitely touched something for me too, because I have psychiatric disabilities, and I'm not able to get out or function very well in terms of society's definition of "normal functioning." Like I've felt I can only be seen as valuable if I can totally overcome the depression and other issues I face, and I haven't been able to very much thus far. There is a lot of internalized ableism I direct toward myself along the lines of "why can't you deal better with problems that are just mental or psychological when there are many people with 'real' issues like physical disabilities who aren't bitter and depressed and defeated and struggling?" Certainly comments about 'crying in the corner' can ratchet this up a bit when I don't even have any physical problems and can contribute to a cycle of reinforcing the internalized stigma of severe depression and perpetuating negative self talk.
I can understand rationally that making such a comparison isn't fair and isn't helpful, but emotionally I have an extremely poor self image since I'm not even doing "normal" things every day.)
I've never thought about it in this way, but I appreciate your explanation! I think sometimes the word "inspirational" is used in haste, rather than thinking of something more suitable or appropriate. Personally, I could see it being meant like "I admire your strength" because it does take strength to overcome the challenges of being an amputee, not just when doing something "normal," but every day there are new and unique challenges that you need to overcome. But I think you are right that we need to use better words instead of over-using "Inspirational."
Love this video. I am "the bad disabled person ". I have torn ligaments in both of my wrists and it limits some of my movements and causes a lot of pain. Because my diagnosis took many years (long story) I was often accused of faking. Also, I have had many people tell me to stop complaining, because "some people are amputated and they're living their life, so why am I complaining?"
Oh joy, the "stop complaining others have it worse" comments. My mother used to do that to me when my migraine journey began. Now she has migraines and hates being told to stop complaining. Karma is a real shark sometimes.
Your tone in your reply is a bit weird...
The inspirational aspect I choose to believe is not simple the fact that you are an amputee Jo, it is the fact that you have been on a journey since you fell off that horse that formed the part of you that people find inspirational. The battle to overcome obstacles, the struggle through pain, the mental perseverance that people with disabilities go through everyday is the inspirational part.
I work an office job and battle multiple autoimmune diseases and when I discuss my health with colleagues (because they are not always visible) they often say I am an inspiration due to the fact that I do the same job as them but I have a LOT of challenges to overcome that they do not even have to think about.
The definition of inspiration is “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something” and I think disabled people invoke this in others.
I choose to focus on the fact that others who have not experienced the same journey are stimulated to feel something by what you or I have navigated through.
Yessss so glad you’re talking about this! Inspiration porn is forever the bane of my existence
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Do you know what part of your video inspires me, when you smile and welcome your beautiful internet friends. It’s kind, positive, and it just feels inspirational being a part of the environment you create. When I’m a part of that mindset, it is much easier for me to smile and pass that positive feeling to others.
I think one of my favorite things about you is that you keep it real. The good, the bad, the ugly, the struggles, the joy, the fun... It's just real. You don't sugarcoat it.
SO MUCH YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! Thank you! I definitely hate the rhetoric of “wow I can’t ever complain about my life again because you’re going through so much more!” Like...yeah I’m going through hell and I’m miserable BUT that doesn’t mean that someone who’s dealing with hard things shouldn’t be allowed to complain about their hardships. The gatekeepers of suffering just makes everyone feel worse about the situation at hand 🙃
As a fellow disabled woman thank you so much for making this video!! ❤️
Trauma Talk has inspired me personally from day one, HOWEVER: hell yeah, I love this video!
Love your channel name!!
Gives me a different outlook in my ptsd
Yes, this puts it into words perfectly. I have multiple autoimmune diseases and most of the time, my disabilities are invisible. When I'm having a bad spell, though, they are much more apparent. And like a light switch, I go from a "normal" person who no one gives a second look at to being "so inspirational." I'm also extremely introverted, so the sudden attention makes me very uncomfortable.
Also, the part about calling a visibly disabled person being a nice way of saying "I wouldn't want to live like that" is 100% true in at least some cases. I have a coworker whose adult daughter started dating a below-knee amputee. And when my coworker was telling people about her daughter's boyfriend, she'd add "I don't see how he'd want to live like that."
I was in my wheelchair at the grocery store check out line when the cashier says, "Wow! You're so inspirational!"
My response: "I AM pretty good at picking up groceries, if I do say so myself."
If you work hard and believe in yourself, someday YOU TOO can pay for your own groceries. I believe in you, two-leggers!
🤔 Hmmm. . . maybe I should get into the minimum wage grocery bagging business. Sounds like I have a real talent.
Now that is a great way to put that conversation in perspective. I LOVE IT !
That is a great come back.
This whole video is so on point. Two experiences of mine that stand out are being called inspirational while looking at the exercise equipment isle in Walmart (I'm a wheelchair user) and for turning around in a tight elevator. For me, those are such mundane moments it was very uncomfortable and patronizing to be called out for being inspirational. Not to mention embarrassing because is usually happens in front of other strangers. There are so many other things in my life I would rather people be inspired by - my art, my writing, my work with animals... I don't want the bar to be set so low that those things I work so hard on feel devalued. I think people mean it in a good way, but they don't realize they're usually serving their own self confidence rather than the person they're "complimenting" in these moments.
I really love learning and listening to you Jo because you have these conversations. You talk about stigma and you *talk* about the adversity. I have my own mental health and physical challenges and it's encouraging to hear from others with similar (but also totally different, in a way!) challenges and that it's not all sunshine and daisies. But it's also helpful to hear your successes with mental and physical health. I hope it's clear, you're not inspirational for just existing with a disability! You're encouraging and educational and a parasocial "friend" in tough times.
Jo you NAILED it in this video! I'm a left BKA of 14 months. But I've dealt with diabetes for 40 years, and a super-rare (1 in a million) genetic respiratory disease that was only diagnosed when I was 47 (10 years ago). In these past 10 years, I've had numerous times I should have (& almost did) die. But it's all 'invisible'. However, the moment I became a BKA, I've been 'inspirational'. That has messed with my head sooooo much. I scream in my thoughts "I'm a normal person." Thank you for helping me through this! I truly appreciate your videos for helping me understand what I'm dealing with. I believe only us 'disabled' people can truly help other 'disabled' people, because we 'get it.' You rock, girl! Keep it up.
As a fellow disabled person here, I completely agree with you. This is often said to me too, and often I do say something about it. Of course in a nice way. I often tell them: “I am just living my normal life. Yes it has changed when I got disabled, but this is my normal now. I am just living my life, there is nothing special of inspirational about it”. I don’t want to be too harsh because that isn’t my personality. I’m not a people pleaser but I really don’t want to come across as rude. So in my opinion you aren’t rude for saying these things. As long as you explain to people why, even if it is in a simple/short way like I describe it (mostly during conversations on the shorter side). But in longer conversations and like in this video to share with many people, you can explain it in more detail. So thank you for making this video. I have always replied like what I wrote before, but I never thought about it this deep and this explains my feelings a lot.
I think you have it right.
I recently made a somewhat related post on Facebook:
"Caution: giving someone praise for something that isn't true will make them doubt your judgement, if not your honesty."
I was addressing a different issue, and "isn't true" should have been "doesn't feel true". In any case, it was about the discomfort with receiving praise that is "off".
I never thought about it this way, but I can definitely see where you're coming from! Definitely opened my eyes, why does this not have more views
This is an interesting discussion. "Congratulating" a disabled person for being able to do normal tasks is something I do as a health care worker seeing progress in rehabilitation. Celebrating the small accomplishments together. I might gush about how strong, positive and resourceful some of them are to colleagues, but don't do that much to patients directly. Often it might seem patronizing I think. As for inspiring it's not really a word I use to describe people, but I certainly admire alot of disabled people.
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out of special Ed in second grade.I would be pissed of I was classified as that cause I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's . I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army cause I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able.
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@@kingnate9534 If having an iep means you're classified as having a disability and what that means for enlisting in the army I really don't have any clue about (not even American). Hope you can figure it out. In any case, best of luck! I get why being called disabled makes you angry. I know I used the term ''disabled people'' in my comment, but it does have it's baggage. Not everyone under the moon with some diagnosis wants to be labeled as disabled, or feel at all disabled in their daily lives. Hell, I have several friends with dyslexia who got some form of special ed in primary and secondary school. Today they have bachelour and master degrees and are doing as well or better than me.
@@Thegirlnamedsomthing Yea, but I don't think I'm disabled or special needs for having a minor speech impairment.
@@kingnate9534 hey, look I'm sorry I don't know about the American army, but I have a disability and I have always been in selective classes and schools for "gifted" students. I don't think having a disability and being intelligent are really mutually exclusive. Up to you though if you want to identify with the term disabled, but I just want you to know it's inherently not a bad thing, just a descriptor.
"Disabled people are being congratulated for doing extraordinarily normal things." This sums it up perfectly for me Jo and sometimes annoys me too!! Thank you for having the guts to be so honest and share this, I've always felt it and thought it!
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able.
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This is so much of what I’ve wanted to say for so long but never had the words!
You are such a kind and caring person. Your ability to see things positively plus your drive to help others truly is inspiring. I look up to you because you are a genuinely wonderful person. So yes, I do find you inspiring, but it's because of who you are.
People struggle with so much, medical issues, mental issues, money issues, physical issues, social issues, age. Certainly much of the time there isn’t something so visible as a physical disability for all to see but people are impacted by adversity just the same. When someone calls you inspirational it’s because they recognize adversity, perhaps all too well, and want to express encouragement and support to a fellow human whose issues might be more obvious than theirs. For starters we all know that course or insensitive remarks abound and to say things like “I wish you the best” or even “good luck” don’t really seem to fit, I think. To say “you inspire me (in my struggles)” frankly seems more sympathetic. It’s meant as encouragement and it has the added benefit of being true. You’re facing life, you’re thriving! I can do that too! Meanwhile let me say I love your inspirational, meaningful videos!
Haven't watched the video yet but wanted to jump in here and say Jo, I find you inspirational because of the way you verbalize your thoughts, use your platform to encourage opening our minds, and share with us your struggles as well as your successes.
At least, those are the reasons you've inspired me, and I thank you. ♥️🍍
So many thoughts and feeling about this. First I don't feel weird when another disabled person (that I know) tells me "I'm inspiration" because I feel like they know what is really hard for me and have a base line for how hard it is. So I feel like it's like a hug of like "today's tough but your doing it". But when it's all from able bodied people that hardly know me it makes me feel like how you describe.
Second, as a child who grew up as a disability it's toxic af. That pressure you talked about having to be inspiring is soooo bad. It taught me that I wasn't allowed to show when I was in pain or take the breaks I needed and I'm so much worse for it as I've grown up because I've pushed my body far to much and now my disability is harder to manage. 🤷
Thank you for addressing this, I appreciate you giving your perspective. I've found it troubling lately to articulate these exact thoughts for many different reasons, one of which is probably the incredible amount of anxiety and paranoia that comes with being in public for me Being a RBKA, &still using my wheelchair alot of days because I'm just not comfortable enough to being on my prosthetic alone yet. It sort of has a way of forcing me to feel as though I have to be "ON" on a constant and consistent basis which is exhausting, and if we're not then like you said.. "we're the bad kind of disabled" Being called inspiring feels alot like being told congratulations for existing. Yes, I've struggled..and I'm still here. What? Oh you were expecting or wanting me to give up. Okay cool. Thanks?
I like how transparent you are. It's refreshing
Hi Jo, I always love watching your videos. I just wanted thank you for taking about this and you have definitely changed my perspective and I appreciate it. I also really agree with when you said it isn't "inspiring" until it is a visible disability. I always look forward to you posting new videos. You always make me so happy and make my day. Thank you for everything.
Since I mostly see you sitting down in your residence, without any disability in plain sight, it is easy to just see you as a delightful, energetic (mostly), caffeinated, bubbly person who cheers me up just by sharing your life journey, through the ups and downs, the victories and defeats (and migraines -- oh! how I hate migraines), and I always look forward to your next video. Keep up the good work!!
Yep Jo, I totally get it. Someone once told me it was a privilege to teach me something, when all I wanted was us to be friends. But that statement only put distance between us. Totally get it. I don't know if they know they're doing it, but yes, they are putting you into the "inspirational box" and in a sense dismissing you, you have been dealt with by a display of virtue. I admit, within myself if I see a disabled person just going for it and accomplishing something, sometimes I am deeply moved by the fact that they do not let the obstacle stop them, But I keep it private, because I don't believe they feel the need for that. All we crave is friendship in the normal things of life. And yes, GREAT accomplishments can be inspirational!
I like that you mention the store because that's usually where I get it. It just leaves me thinking do they think it's inspirational for a paraplegic to leave the house, or do they think it's inspirational that a paraplegic has friends to go places with? It's not a nice feeling.
Love this video! Thank you for addressing this. I've worked with the disabled community (in particular the blind community) a lot, and I hate when people say this. Especially since I have an invisible disability, I am very aware that it is said out of a snap judgment.
I had to pause part way through this to say this: having to do things DIFFERENTLY from others doesn't make it bad or worse or less effective. I think when most people look at those with disabilities they assume that you having to do things in a different way is by definition worse or more difficult or bad. I see this all the time with employers who assume that because a disabled employee can't do things the exact same way as someone else means they can't do it at all... And then they are shocked when the disabled employee not only does it just as well as other employees, but sometimes even better than other employees (afterall, trying things a different way sometimes leads to a better way)... My mantra for this reason is "Different doesn't mean bad".... But, of course, it also means "Different doesn't mean inspirational".... Different just means different.... Now back to the video...
Thanks so much for sharing this! It makes so much sense. Like you're just doing your own thing. I totally get that. It's ironically belittling in a way. Your examples here are absolutely fantastic. And it makes it so much worse when people make these comments on a consistent basis. What a strange set of interactions. Thank you for providing this perspective.
So true. Thank your for your voice for this community
I completely understand your feelings on this. It's definitely something worth thinking about.
I’d ever thought of it like this, I just love your honesty and attitude.
Thanks for talking about this. You’re a legend
I have a disability that you can't see by looking at me. I have epilepsy and I went deaf at 32 due to serious skin tumors in my ears. One ear they tried to save and the reconstruction didn't take, but the other ear I still have about 50% hearing. Still, if you talk to me from behind or at the left I won't be able to hear and people get a little upset. Until I let them in on the fact that I have these disabilities, then I become this inspiration to them. Really, I'm just me I'm not awe inspiring, or an inspiration, I'm just trying to learn how to get through life differently. Not being able to hear really sucks, and until I got my hearing aid, I missed out on so many sounds that we take for granted. Like the wind, the sound of the birds, and the traffic. Thank you for talking about this, it really needed to be said.
Thanks for this video. I totally agree for often I feel like often when people call me (I'm a wheelchair user) inspiring the only thing I've inspired in them is gratitude that they're not me, and honestly I don't need to hear about that.
Thanks for putting this to words I couldn't understand it myself too, thank you thank you ❤️
As a german I noticed Americans often compliment stuff that makes them feel uncomfortable. (Look at a Video of someone who has survived an acid attack the whole commentsection ist full of "oh they are so beautiful" but their struggles are not addressed) I think that's happening here too. They compliment so they can move on and not confront the idea of how fragile their body is. I personally follow you because you seem like a nice person and also to understand your struggles better. I ll soon start my work in the social system of germany and I want to know what struggles someone faces when he/she tells me " I ve lost a leg" so I can help them accordingly. I am thankful that you speak so openly about your issues.
Connie M. I was born with physical and mental disability. When I was going through surgeries in the 80’s-early 90’s. I never once thought of it is being brave are strong. It was just something I had to do. Other people didn’t . I had some support, not to say no one was on my side. I had a surgeon call me brave one time and it seemed awkward. Because to me it wasn’t being brave it was just surviving.
They were starting to put me under and talk about my surgery. When I told them that they needed to take a tendon from somewhere else on my leg. And they ran and got my surgeon so I could tell him before I went completely under. That’s what happened and he called me brave.
I think this is a great video thank you for coming with some hard hitting topics. I really admire you for saying that you have issues with/ disagree with certain things(it seems like lots of people are scared to voice real opinions on issues that affect a lot of people). The internet is a crappy place sometimes, but I am really glad you are challenging my and other people’s thinking!
Hello there, beautiful, lovely internet Mom.
You and your content it amazing because of how honest and kind you are to your audience and how good your videos are, Jo your amazing 💜
In some ways I can relate this to creepy compliments about my figure. They say the best compliments you can give are about choices someone made that express their identity/creativity/skills etc. Things you can control. You certainly cannot control a disability in that sense, and so that is how I related to why you're uncomfortable with inspo compliments. I mean, besides all the other valid and thought-provoking points you made, of course!
Sure, I clicked on your video about You Tube trying to censor you because of your amputation videos, I don't like censorship, so I was curious about it. I have since watched a ton of your videos (I saw my first video last week), and this is what I find inspiring about you. In your videos, you are very human about your experiences. I've dealt with some crap in my life too (no, I'm not disabled) and you make it a bit easy to connect on a human and dare I say, spiritual level.
Many times I find myself asking, "what's the point"? and you clearly state that these are valid feelings and that you (Me) are not alone. So yeah, you are an inspiration in that you are wise beyond your years and you inspire me to think about my life. I have decided b/c of watching your videos to seek counseling again; and for that, I thank you. And also, you just happen to be missing a leg, but that is not all there is to you as I've seen.
We need to shift from the charity model. Thank you for sharing this, we need to know and understand message you are coming from, from a person with a disability.
You know what we have to be . Ourself
You're inspirational...for speaking your mind. lol
not gonna say you are inspiring, but your videos make a lot of people HAPPY!
You are a very good speaker (even though there are cuts in the video which probably improves the flow). You speak for twenty minutes, and I hang on to every word. You radiate friendliness and sincerity. I could almost call you inspiring or awesome, but I can settle for cute 😄. Love your content, Jo!
You inspired me to talk about my chronic illness. I think this might be something you don't hate.
Thank you for addressing this... I’ve always wondered if am I a bad person for not finding someone with a visible disability inspiring (when they’re just going about their daily life). I have multiple invisible disabilities where just doing my “normal” daily activities is really tough but no one knows! No one ever consider finding me just getting to the coffee shop inspiring! 😂
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able.
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This is really interesting, never thought about this in depth! But it is difficult to generalize because for different people different things are things they aspire, isn't it? It is an interesting topic to think about and maybe change the way one uses the word.
Last year ... on july 7 i was working in a factory as a laborer on stone crusher.. accidentally i slipped and my foot grabed by crushing machine ... its was so fast and it didn't gave me any time to understand.... after that when i wake up i dont know what happened with me ... i didn't realize what's happening or what's going on with me ....when i feeel i have to go washroom for loo then i realize whats happening with me when i try to leave the bed and try to walk but i was not able to walk...
on which stone crusher i was working from last 3 years... on which machine i was working and earning my bread butter... that machine crushed my foot ....
Till today its almost 10 months... i never stood on my single foot...
Due to my low income job in india i was not able to buy any prosthetic leg ....
You are lucky that you are in united states..... you are blessed with so many things.... but in my country in India.... everything just like a dream....
Our govt didn't help us like your country....
That really sux.
My usual answer is "well what other choices are there?" :)
Might add that your channel along with Gems (wheels no heels) and Stynalane is that you are wonderfully quirky and in many aspecs share the same humor. ^^ And yes some support to as a fellow disabled.
Good on you...You Light Up My Life,,,
I just found your videos today, obviously I subscribed. I remembered seeing somewhere the picture of you when you had colored the scissors onto your ankle. I'm now binge watching because I like your personality. Take Care🙂🙃🥂
I went through a rough patch where my mom chose to post on Facebook n what not asking people to write in hopes of cheering me up. SOOOO many letters had the word inspiration/inspiring/inspired (because they had read my story which involves getting half my brain removed), that it ruined the word and I had to ban in from my vocabulary all together..
People are just ignorant. And, I think that unfortunately, you are correct. People often give others ( people who they superficially perceive as different) empty compliments but their actual reactions to these “different people “ are far more complex and self centered than inspiration. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. You are an advocate of change, and I commend you for that. Just know that there is no distance and no differentiation in reality, people are just simple minded for the most part and the separations they create with their words are short lived and superficial .
100% aligned with you on this one, Jo. If you wouldn’t congratulate someone for queuing at McDonald’s while black, don’t tell someone they are inspiring for buying coffee while disabled. What that really means is “hey, your life is so much worse than mine so seeing you makes me feel better about myself”. It’s patronising, demeaning, and inauthentic. People aren’t wrong for having that thought or feeling but they need to kept it the f**k to themselves!
I’ve had the “well, if I was in pain all the time I’d kill myself” one, too. That’s about the worst. Being chronically ill is demoralising enough, without that!
I'm sure that I've told you that you are inspirational a time or two. I do mean that in a positive and supportive way. But I understand your concerns about this term too. I'm not sure how to express how I feel about this right now, but it's definitely something to ponder. Perhaps we need to know what someone like me can say instead so that we don't put you in a box so to speak. This is very thought provoking!
@Lisa Moody Thank you!
For anyone who liked this video, I highly recommend Stella Young’s Ted Talk on this subject! She’s an amazing and funny speaker ♥️
I knooooow it's so cringy, everytime I try to explain to people they're like "what ? But it's a compliment" it drives me crazy x.x
Yes!!! Everything you said here.
I have not been exposed to that yet because I am a new amputee. I seen a few people in public and thought that they are an inspiration because I knew that was going to be a decision I was going to have to make sooner that later in my life (including watching your videos.) unfortunately I had to make that decision, and it’s been 3 weeks. So far some of the things I experienced I heard on your videos (from a person going through the actual experience and not “doctor” speak.) seeing person walking in a grocery story or watching your videos lets me know with some hard work and determination, I will accomplish some mobility and maybe able to make it look as easy as you do.
You're so fun "pick one" I love that . btw that is so true
As a disabled person also, I agree with you completely.
Being the inspirational disabled doesn't make others feel as uncomfortable as being around the sad disabled person.
I feel like I'm a young child when they say to me that I am inspirational. Like, wow, well done you managed to go to the bathroom by yourself, good job 🤗
Have you ever tried saying that to them? I did once. Got asked for my story on why I use a cane, got called so inspirational after sharing and just deadpanned "I can go potty in the big girl potty all by myself too". Funniest...facial...expressions...ever!
is having a speech impairment classified as having special needs or being disabled because apparently I have an iep for a slight speech impairment, but I'm in a regular class in high school and I was in a regular class in middle school. I first got out off special Ed in second grade. I would be pissed of I was classified as that because I have pretty bad anger issues cause if you asked me a slight speech impairment dosen't seem like much since I'm in a regular classs getting A's and B's. I still take speech therapy tho and I just hope that dosen't disqualify me from joining the army because I got big plans for the future. I am not disabled, I am able.
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And this has been Jo's Ted Talk 👏👏👏👏👏👏
Seriously, you should absolutely use this as a Ted Talk. Inspiration porn is for the birds.
That was really interesting for me, as someone who's not disabled. I always assumed the problem with the telling disables people that they are "inspiring" is that it happens a lot of times in situations when they basically just live their life and do kinda daily occuring tasks (as you said, going to buy groceries, walking). And not really do something outstanding for them. If I see e.g. an amputee running marathon that would be really "inspiring" in my opinion. That's already really hard for an able-bodied person, but I imagine achieving that when you're missing a leg is so much harder. But that's just what I assumed as an able-bodied person, so maybe I'm totally wrong with this. I'm happy to have a conversation about it, if someone see's it different.
Much love from Germany 🤗
Thank you for the mother's day reminder, I totally would have forgotten otherwise 😂
Love this and love your take on it. Thank you so much for sharing Jo!💕
U watched the whole thing??
U had to have at least missed 6 minutes of it before commenting this
Thanks so much for the video, love your work 🥰
You are 100% correct on why people with disabilities/disabled people get called inspirational for just doing normal things. It is patronizing. And it is wrong for people to say this, even if they "mean well."
Take comfort that you're not alone in this. Just as an example, both Molly Burke & Jessica Kellgren-Fozard have both made videos on the topic. I've taken university classes on this. But it's not talked about because people with disabilities are and have been othered.
I can't gather my thoughts properly in an eloquent comment to discuss the history of this problem or offer support. But I'm sorry more people don't understand this