OVERCOMING A MESSY HOME
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024
- Running a home with ADHD is extremely difficult!! Today I want to share with you 4 of my tips that have significantly changed our home!
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Hi! We are Phil and Alex! After leaving California in an RV, traveling full time, and helping our littlest with an open heart surgery, we've settled down in Tennessee. We found our homestead land and are learning each day how to live a more sustainable life. We are a family grown through the miracle of adoption & infertility treatments. Our passion is to encourage families through infertility, adoption and building stronger healthier families. Thank you for tuning in! We hope you are encouraged!
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EMAIL US: PhilAndAlexC@gmail.com
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I live in a home where I am the only non-neurodivergent individual. My husband and children all have ADHD. This vlog was so helpful for me as a means of helping my family to tackle chores and managing our home together. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I can't help myself, as someone who notices the details of life, your hands speak volumes to me Alex! The hands of a mother who is always working for her babies! I pray you take a moment to capture your babies hand in yours in a mold so they can always remember this moment of making bread and working with mommy 💜💙💚😊
I found this video extremely enlightening! When it started, I literally felt like I was drowning in a mess, like I do in life. Having given birth recently, I’ve been off my meds for a while, and things seem very overwhelming. The interesting thing is that after hearing some of your tactics, the weight was lifted, and I felt much better! Funny since this was just watching you talk about this stuff, but clearly, you have figured something out here. Best way I describe how my meds usually work is that either it feels like the world is collapsing on my brain, or instead, my brain is moving outwards into the world. Your coping strategies have a similar effect! Way to go, and I really appreciate this. Definitely going to get a laundry basket out soon to declutter my living room. Only problem is I’ll probably just leave the stuff in there for years lol! ❤
I recommend reading 'how to keep house while drowning' by KC Davis, written by a woman with ADHD specifically for folks with ADHD. Totally changed the way I think about chores. Highly recommend!! I listened to the audiobook version, and it was super helpful.
yes this book is wonderful. She says it is for neurodivergent people but its really for anyone who is struggling. Everyone with adhd is different so I dont think it is only helpful for them.
I LOVE how Kinsley is getting her own little vlogging personality 🥰🥰
Needed this today! Been diagnosed since I was 7, now a mom of 3 with number 4 on the way and it’s incredibly hard.
I was just diagnosed today with ADHD and this video really opened my eyes. Thank you ❤️🥹
Please continue to share these tips. My husband is the same (diagnosed since childhood) and a few years ago I was diagnosed after his words of encouragement made it through my stubborn skull lolol. Sure enough I had it also and I was always misdiagnosed. Everything you're saying is hitting my heart. I am similar in the micro focusing and such. If you were looking to make this video to speak to someone that needed to hear it, then I truly think God was putting this on your heart and it fell on my ears. I just rearranged the living room a few nights ago also! Every word is hitting the things that have been weighing on me! Thank you so much. Immensely grateful! ❤❤
Amber this means so much! Thank you so much for taking your time to comment. I am glad I'm not alone and we all could use the encouragement!
@@PhilandAlex, when I started commenting, I found myself in a similar situation, with my little ones, as you with your daughter in the background (when you were talking about the living room tips/tricks and then your train of thought got thrown off it's track because you got distracted for a millisecond haha). I almost decided to throw in the towel on commenting, so I'm doubly glad I decided to! I actually always felt alone with how our dynamic of both parents having add/adhd. I never knew any others with this dynamic until you two shared it. It's warming to know my comment actually had some kind of impact also, so thank you for taking the time to let me know that (: sorry for the rambles! I just felt like I needed to share this and respond (:
I think it is worth noting that prior to your move, you both had structure provided by jobs outside of the home. You moved, had a medically fragile baby and began taking on home projects before establishing a consistent self imposed structure. That would be incredibly challenging for anyone. But, living with fewer things and doing fewer things will allow you to maintain your home more easily. It will always be a juggling act depending on how you choose to focus your time and energy. I use the state of our home as a barometer - if we have superceded our limits, the home reflects that and something needs to be adjusted. Best of luck with your process.
Fantastic tips! My apartment right now is a total mess! I’m 70 years old and just too tired to do it! Your tips just helped me so much! ❤❤❤
I think you were talking directly to me! I don't have ADHD that I'm aware of, but I get overwhelmed by the task at hand. It always seems so massive to look at it all at once. I'll try your tips with a positive mind-set and see where it gets me! Thank you Alex!
As a 60 year old with diagnosed ADHD (and 2 of 3 children with diagnosed ADHD) I can so relate. Thank you for sharing your tips and tricks for overcoming the household chores. My husband does not have ADHD and has a difficult time relating (but tries). I truly appreciate your honesty. It is very helpful and supportive.
I just gotta say that no matter my mood, and no matter the topic of your vlogs.....you guys ALWAYS make me smile and make me feel at least a little better than i did before i watched...❤
You should check out Minimal mom and massively declutter and live with less belongings . ❤It is so much easier to maintain a home when you don't have as much stuff. Living minimally is such a gift to yourself and family ❤️
My in laws have such a hoarder home. Things haven’t been touched in 30 years… board game nobody plays, encyclopedias and books never touched, old trinkets and things nobody cares about or would even notice if they were gone. They come to my very minimalist house and call it “sterile and cold” 😂 I don’t have trinkets, books, board games. I can move every item in my home and clean under it every single day without over exerting myself.
@@jackielowrey3032 100% I love my parents dearly, but they tend to hoard and when they came over for Thanksgiving they couldn't believe my house set up! My mom was shocked I only had 1 potato peeler LOL. But totally clean up is a breeze with a highly simplified home!
@@jackielowrey3032 Good for you! However, before you criticize your in-laws too harshly, make sure your husband has not left anything of his own stuff behind, whatever it might be. I have two grown and married kids, both with homes bigger than ours, and I've had to put pressure on them to come and collect their own belongings that remain behind.
Something else to consider, each generation comes with literally their own baggage- As boomers, we inherited quite a bit of stuff from my own parents and in-laws when they passed on. That generation came out of the Depression mind-set where absolutely nothing was ever thrown away. (Twist-ties, rubber bands, old car parts, boxes of old photographs, used gift wrap, chipped dishes, even ration cards from WWII... you name it.) That outlook was passed on to us to a lesser degree. My husband and I have been working hard in our retirement to purge, so our kids and grandkids aren't left with the chore of clearing it all out once we are out of the picture. We've now got a good handle on minimalism. You might want to encourage your husband to encourage and help his parents with decluttering now. Otherwise, there will come a day when you and he are left holding the bag.
What Great Ideas For Someone Like Me Who Also Has ADHD, I've Struggled With This All My Life!! Plus on top of it I have bad Anxiety which makes getting started the worst!! I'm Praying These Tips & Tricks Will Help Me Also!! Love 💕 Ya'll
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. I can go on a cleaning spree, and get nothing done, but I have worked for hours and hours. I am then exhausted by the end of the day, but my whirlwind brain doesn’t allow me to accomplish my ultimate goal. I am 54, and I recently just started setting tiny goals. I’m not going to bed with dishes in my sink. For me this is huge, and I’ve been able to do this for this month/. Once I feel that I have accomplished this goal into my daily routine, I’ll add a new daily goal.
Hi Alex and Phil,
This happens in most households. I get problems due to chronic pain. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and am finding life difficult especially in the colder months. Since the age of 20 plus I found things getting harder and had no help from anyone pretty much and often found myself criticised by many. They could not understand why I had little energy as reguards to chores etc.
Maybe had signs of this years ago but never had many symptoms but after yrs of mental abuse by past employers finally took its toll and now am disabled and have chronic pain. I do understand what you say as a friend of mine has ADHD
Much love and respect from across the pond in Uk x
🙏🏼🙏🏼
I am 53 yrs old and I feel seen for the first time! These are great tips
I listen to Christmas music all year long when I am really stressed. It calms me and soothes me.
This is so relatable! ❤ I love it 🥰 my household is a family of 6 and we are all Neurodivergent. ADHD, autism, or both. These tips we already use naturally and have been a huge help but others can't wait to use! Thank you! 😊
❤I am going to definitely use these tips. Thank you 😊
MISS YOU GUYS and gorgeous family updates and posts. The girls have grown up so much. Does not seem that long ago, you shared you miracle, Cassidy's pregnancy 🤗
Thank you so much for making this video 🙏🏻❤ It truly makes me feel so understood. I think that this video is one that I've enjoyed the most in a long time. Completely relatable and good tips! Looking forward to the next one 😊
This was really helpful. I can see how it breaks things down into manageable steps. Thanks, Alex! 😊
As a single momma with 3 young kids (8,9, and 3) Two of which have ADD/ADHD i found this extremely helpful even just as a sometimes overwhelmed momma this is so helpful, thank you for sharing.
Praying that your family and friends wasn't hurt in the storms.
I am so happy to see someone just admitting they live in chaos because of their neurological makeup.
I don't have ADHD.
I have undiagnosed ADD, diagnosed severe Dyslexia and Major Depressive Disorder, probably PTSD from child abuse, and everything looks perfect from the outside.
But inside, my house is a living hell.
I'm trying to work with it and...
it's slow steps.
Thank You for this! I can SO relate!
Thank you! Thank you! These tips are game changers! The affirmations tip is really on point!!!
I’m 60 years old and have known and clinically diagnosed with ADHD since my early 30’s. But, as we all know, I was born with it. When I was a kid, I was just “talkative and can’t sit still”. Thank heavens it is finally out there for all of us.
I missed you guys so much!!! Its so nice to see you all doing well ❤ these tips Will help myself and my husband too
When I was decluttering room by room, the one thing I found helpful is not 13:30 leaving the room to put up something that belonged elsewhere! I had a bag for garbage, basket for items belonging outside the room, a box for giveaway or sell!
Goodness that’s probably my biggest flaw!
I’ll leave the room to put something in the laundry, which is in my garage, then I’ll see a kitchen towel, so I’ll go to the kitchen and then I’ll load the dishwasher, then I’ll remember the room I was working on, oh but that sock on the floor belongs to my husband, so I walk to our room, then I make the bed, oh but the kids bed need made, so I pass the bathroom on the way to their room, well darn, I need to sweep the floor in there, so I go back to the garage to grab the broom and swiffer, but I might as well sweep the whole house and mop, oh but wait, what about that first room I was still working on. Etc etc etc etc 🥲🥲🥲
I need to work on staying put in ONE room at a time because it drives me nuts to go room to room to room room in a matter of 5 minutes.
Thanks, Alex, for explaining and teaching us. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I fall into this category! Hello to Kinsley: She will soon have her beautiful front teeth!
It's like you are describing my husband (diagnosed as a child) and myself exactly!! Thank you for all the tips. I've been eyeing up new room layouts for a while so think I will start with that one lol 😄 God bless you all ❤
Wow Alex!!! Very Very Great helpful information!!! I struggle but with your suggestions I think that they will be very helpful!!! God Bless Us All!!!
My son who is 40 was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. I didn't know he was struggling with things until after he was diagnosed. What a great mother I am. 😞
Love seeing you guys again!❤
I love how you arranged the living room!
MERRY CHRISTMAS❤❤TO YOU❤❤YOUR FAMILY❤❤
You are a darling family..
Ya'lL still
TICKLE ME PINK.
You are busy busy keeping tummies filled.. All the animals outside, the new baby animals, the little human animals 😅 and making yummy food in your kitchen, for this reason somethings are impossible to worry about until it's time to tackle those projects.
Give yourself some grace and laugh at the buttery fingers like you already did. That was funny... And so cute.
The more things we take on as a mom or dad the harder it is to keep everything prefect... I'm very impressed with your success in all the things you do....
These days I personally strive for the imperfect things... It's what makes a perfectionist try to relax and not sweat the small stuff....
Kinsley is so grown up and has matured so much. Cassidy is a little love bug and Callie is such a fabulous big sister. So is Kinsley...
Love you all....
~ Lisa from Utah 😋🫶🙏🎄
Merry Christmas
Lovely family and those kiddos as such a blessing to watch grow. Your sourdough bread looks amazing. Can you share the recipe as well as the prep steps please? 🙏🏻
Great video ❤ Alex I would love to hear more about your ADHD journey. Maybe your experience and knowledge (with both moderate and severe ADHD) could help me understand myself or those around me better - I’ve often wondered if I have something ADHD-like going on in my brain
So thankful for this video!! Love y'all
So good to see you! God bless all of you🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I was diagnosed last year at 30yrs old :D life makes so much sense now, I am on therapy, my therapist has adhd, too, so it´s great cause she reaally understands me, explaining this to neurotypical, oh my, so much easier with a fellow adhder :D, ... I was labeled lazy my whole life, Alex, lazy, talks to fast, is chaotic, messy, loud, noone of that my fault, none of that the actual labels, all that adhd symptoms, me all the time completely overwhelmed by life... I wish I would have know sooner but well, it is what it is, I am learning now to improve my life, great you talk about it and vlog it :)
Hi, I really miss you guys hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! 🦃🌻🦃
First of all your house looks amazing. I like the way you arrange the furniture and you know when I was young I used to rearrange my furniture and vacuum behind things and also put away things like that. I didn’t realize that’s probably doing it to get it all nice and clean and force myself into doing it. That is very good tips. I live by myself now. Miss kids and sometimes grandkids coming over. Great job raising your kids. Thank you for the video. Miss you guys. Love y’all. Maybe we’ll get to see you at Christmas time. I’m gonna try your bread .
Great ideas, thanx for sharing Alex.
I have things that MUST be done, I am - ready to cry... I offered a niece I trust $150 to come help me... I am so overwhelmed, and this is at most 3 hours work.. I just cannot "do it". (I am not ADHD, I have Addison's Disease, so I can do "a" chore, then sit down, then try another)... Seriously this video has me in tears..
I just wanted to say that I believe in you and I know you can do it! Please be forgiving of your body and your limitations ❤ It's okay to just not be able to "do it" 🫶 Even if it doesn't get done today you still get to go to bed a whole, valuable, accomplished person. You are still enough 🫂
You're allowed to only do so much as you can comfortably do. You're allowed to prioritize your mind, body and spirit. You have permission to exist in whatever capacity that you need to today ❤
You’ll be great and do a wonderful job! 🌺
@@kaelabelle4886 Thank you, truly. ❤
@@smithface8791 I have to be finished by Mon., 12/3, thankfully, my niece will be here tomorrow (11/30).. Once I get this organized, I can keep it that way.. I pray. Blessings to you, Merry Christmas.
@@kaelabelle4886 God Bless you, Merry Christmas, thank you....
Can you guys do a Q & A with all your updates. As well as you have gone through treatments/surgery. Would love to know how you guys go forward with more babies if thats the plan. Love you all
Lol you know it’s bad when all of your friends start tagging you in that Christmas tree photo 6:19 I feel so seen 🤣
Great ideas!! I'm going to try the clock and the catch-all!
Thank you for tips! What help me is Don’t put it down! Put it away!
I watched this and it ended before I buy. It was going. Those were great chips that you should. I miss seeing youpaul I hope you're back soon😊
This was a much needed video. I have ADHD and am a mum to two autistic children one of whom is in burnout and has an eating disorder. I just get stuck. I know what needs to be done, I know what I need to do but I just can’t. I’m in the house all day every day as my one autistic child in burnout can’t leave the house so I get lonely and stuck 😢
I would love to be medically diagnosed so I don't feel like I'm crazy. I struggle often, but I do have days where I am able to hyperfocus... I also split my cleanings into zones. I need to incorporate a catch all bin and to use the clockwise method. That seems a lot easier
Great video. That is helpful with kids. I have also used fly lady, and she follows zones and other things, but these tips are also very helpful.
I think your cleaning strategy is awesome your girls are so smart and their growing so fast seems like yesterday they were just babies ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I do not have adhd (that I know) but I tell myself-dont put it down, put it away. I also take a laundry basket and a trash bag in the room when I clean. you put the garbage in the trash bag, things that dont go in that room in the laundry basket and clean the room. start with garbage and things that dont go in the room. then dust and vacuum or whatever else. then go to the next room and repeat. at the end of the clean once you are done with ALL the rooms. you put the garbage bag wherever it goes and all the things in the laundry basket away. works wonders. you could even give the youngest kid the laundry basket or garbage bag. Similar to what you talk about. I think what you mention is good for anyone who is struggling with anything: grief, adhd, autism, ptsd, depression (me), being a new mom, seasonal depression etc.
Turning your videos on feels like home❤ i love watching you guys 😊
And we love that you're here!
Love from kristal regina Saskatchewan huge fan of yours god bless you all merry Christmas to u all
So awesome to see y'all. Love you guys 💕💞
Thank you for this video. I needed it.
My mother taught me touch everything once and that is what I do
Hi from the Netherlands Europe! God bless y’all ❤
thank you for this I'm a single mum of 2 daughters my oldest aged 11 has ASD as a family we find it hard to keep our 2 bedroom house clean or to clean up as we all find we want to be doing other things we love to do for me that is crochet I would do that over cleaning and tidying up my house so I have made one day in the week to clean as much as I can in the time my girls are at school as I know I can get more done and the way I like it when it is just me I put on quite music and then on the weekend we work as a team to clean their room before we go have fun for the rest of the weekend or there is no fun
Depression is my downfall.. I HATE that , I see the mess and I tell myself gal get up and hit it. But my anxiety in my head has my body just tired.. it's definitely hard..
This was awesome!! Even for just overwhelmed mums xo
My husband and I will also say "come praise me"!!! I also love @JordanPage's "10 Steps / 20 Extra Seconds". I tell that to myself all the time!!!
Aweee so beautiful family, I can’t even relax when I know I still have things to do , it keeps spooking my mind 🤣 like the laundry and the dishes are talking to me to be done 🤣🤣🤣😮💨
Excellent advice! Thanks!
😭😭😭 where have you been all of my life!
I'm going to try the tasks thing with my kids tomorrow! Maybe that will help them with cleaning their room. 🤞
I'm looking at 3 laundry baskets of clean clothes while watching this. 😂 As far as affirmations... Whenever I do a big clean/organization, I send pics to my best friend. 😍
I start cleaning one room and go to the next room and the first room isn’t clean. So I end up going room to room and not finishing the first room. Life is so hard at times and I wish I lived near you so you could help me with everything.
Thank you!!!!
Thank you!! I hate cleaning and organizing lately hahaha
Fly lady was my help
I have not been diagnosed. I have something! I count backwards from 5 to get me up and out of my chair. I also set a timer in each room for 10 minutes. You would be surprised what you can get done!
YES! Timers are a GREAT tool! There is a lot of "time blindness" in our home.
Great help thanks
Great video thank you!
🥰THANK YOU 🥰
Warm HUGS
I was just diagnosed as ADHD and Autistic. Cleaning is not my strongest suit. I try so hard and feel like I just can't keep up.😢
Ha!!! The suitcase struggle. If it’s not put away within 24 hours of getting in the door. It will be there for 3 months and I just won’t see it anymore lol
I just emptied my suitcase from the beginning of July 😔
I was diagnosed with adult adhd on top of Marfan’s syndrome which involves chronic fatigue and a husband that works but never helps with keeping the house clean or picked up. It’s hard because by nature I’m a “neat freak” and it’s now got me depressed and no end in sight outside of hiring help like a cleaning lady. Advice Anyone?
From a fellow diagnosed ADHDer- thankyou for this. Love to watch you guys! Always learning xx
I want pumpkin bread recipe please🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Cassidy is looking more and more like alex
I know your challenges my husband has severe ADHD and i have moderate ADHD. Both diagnosed as kids and rediagnosed as adults with testing and actual psychaitrists.
You haven'tbeen diagnosed. What makes you think you have ADHD. Everyone get messy houses.
I agree…appears to be more disorganization and some lack of interest….all these tips seem very overwhelming….
🤦♀️ pay attention. Also, let’s remember she’s a nurse.
@@heathermacdonald5986like you would know better than Alex. Get over yourself.
@@LeahFairfield …I think it is very easy for us all to self diagnose whether we have medical training or not…sometimes the more we know is not necessarily a good thing…..and you have a nice day as well!
@@heathermacdonald5986 Alex knows herself better than anyone. Better than a complete stranger on the internet, especially.
I would love to hear perspective on a wife who doesn’t have adhd and a husband who does. I feel like I’m constantly just picking up after him and he doesn’t contribute at all unless I directly ask, even then it feels half done.
Communicate directly and tell them you need this this and that. They cannot assume when complete looks like for you, but they can understand if you are direct. Absolutely do not be passive
The rule in our house is…don’t leave the room empty handed. You’d be amazed how fast a room can be settled back to normal.
Recipe for pumpkin bread please
"ALL THE WAY, RIGHT AWAY, THE RIGHT WAY" :D
While I am cooking, I say, "Pick it up, don't put it down, put it away".....
Cute!!!!!🥰
A man comes home to a messy house
Dirty dishes
Toys everywhere
Kids running amuck
Dirty laundry not done
His wife is still in bed and he says omgoodness what happened today?
Wife responds you ask me everyday what have you done all day so today I didn't do anything so you can see what I do all day everyday.
Alex, I bet you anything that you have inattentive type ADHD! That kind is much more common for women. I started out as hyperactive as a child, and have totally switched to an attentive. We get distracted very easily, we accidentally stopped listening in the middle of someone talking, we’re sort of daydreamers and tend to space out
Hello.... can you let us know if you were affected by the recent tornadoes??? 12/11/2923
Do you think that though you don't "expect the other" to notice what you did, but rather you point it out and they're to affirm your good deeds is actually beneficial for the kids for when they're older? I mean, it sort of screams "look at me! I neeeed you to know what I did and tell me I did great!" Or what if when they're older and they do your method but don't get that praise as expected, so they then feel sad or get upset because there was no praise? I get working together as a family and keeping the house organized. Every family should do that at some point.. but literally taking someone by the hand and showing them what you've done when it's expected to be done during a cleanup session as you put it, is a bit much, no??