*I started forgiving people when I realized that people do not all the time know or care that they hurt you. You get hurt and bottle those emotions up and be sick while that person is living their best life carefree. If I can have the conversation and move forward I will if not, I'll go through the emotions and let it go.*
Trauma bonding is a real thing! Once one person heals and move on the relationship just isn’t the same. It doesn’t work because the person is in a totally different space.
Fighting for your peace is spiritual battle daily and you have to choose you everyday and surrendering to God daily. This is very much an on time word ❤ That jacket tho 😍
Why last night someone was telling me what I'm going is spiritual warfare and this morning I'm seeing your comment "COMFIRMATION" Thank Yolanda and Marrissa place and light🥰🥰
"there is nothing soft about being the one to answer the call to break generational curses." a thousand times yes!! Jesus said that He came not to bring peace, but a sword. and as His true followers, that's what we inevitably do, too. light and darkness will always fight. thanks for sharing this message!
The trauma bonding friendship is real! I broke up with my best friend of 6 years cuz I didn’t fit the trauma of our friendship anymore it was hard but I couldn’t mentally or emotionally take it
The first 15 seconds alone speaks volumes: “You will quickly run back to what’s familiar if what’s foreign seems lonely.” Embrace the loneliness to ascend to your next level. #MessagetoMyself
The part about mourning my old self 😢 sometimes I cry because I miss that version of me because she had identity. No one asks me how I am or how’s it going now that I’m on the other side of all my troubles. I know I’ll be okay but it still hurts…
“I don’t use social media to fill voids” Wow I realised it last year when I watched your ‘reinvented myself’ video but you are truly in the league of your own! You say a lot of things I think about but cannot seem to articulate. I hope you do more videos like this, trust me the world needs more wisdom and someone who can back it up with real ACTION. 🤩💎
Glad I was able to articulate it for you, sis. Finding things I truly enjoy helped me stop scrolling just because I felt bored, stressed, alone, or whatever else. This past year I was trying something new every month. I found two new hobbies I truly enjoy that I would have NEVER done. You got this ❤️
c'monnn sis, am 25 now, and i put a stop to being the therapist friend, the strong and advising friend, girl i almost lost my life trying to be everything to everything out of a heart to help. watching this i was like am not alone, thank you for sharing this video is amazing
“The brokenness that we both had is what sustained the relationship”!!! wowww!!! I’m that someone that needed to hear that!!!!! I hear you, girl!! Thank you for this❤️
First of all, round of applause for this look and that hair 😍 second, thank you for being so honest about how long it took you to become who you are today. I resonated with this. ❤️
Thank you so much, sis. I appreciate you. I will always be honest about the time frame because I feel like without the time being mentioned, someone on their journey could feel discouraged and quit. I was so frustrated when I was going through my healing and I wondered all the time when will I feel okay… when will I feel better. Nobody was talking about the yearssssss it takes to heal.
You are talking pure FACTS !!! I had a friend I trauma bounded with and now that I’m healed I just cannot be friends with the person anymore cause we have nothing in common!!!
I always wanted to see my friends succeed in life but its like they never wanted it for themselves so I keep my distance because my life is not what it was 5 years ago and won't be the same 5 years from today.
Yeah, I wanted so badly for my friends and family to heal and experience wholeness. I learned that wanting something for them that they did not want for themselves was causing chaos in our relationship. I made the decision to stop that. Just because I did something and it is what's best for me doesn't necessarily mean that it is what's best for others. They may not find anything wrong with their life. We have to stop projecting our desires, wants, thoughts, trauma, etc on others. We mean good, but it is not good.
Omggg I’ve been going through this same exact thing (24:00-26:00). It’s so sad when the friendships that you thought you would have for a lifetime, have to come to an end because the new version of yourself no longer resonates with those old friendships. And I completely agree, going back to those friendships or old comfort zones is just as uncomfortable as going forward into the unknown 😩 you are literally forced to keep going because you realize the people/things of the past no longer serves you and causes disruption to your spirit.
You’re first video about reinventing yourself, got me in my Bible for the first time. Always believed in Him but never read the Bible. This changed me. So grateful for your videos.
Girl! I love this video as well as the reinvent yourself video. I recently went back to therapy because I want to break everything that has held me back since childhood! I am grateful for GOD and HIS word! It's very easy for me to forgive people who have done me harm and I have to keep reminding myself that I am a new creature in Christ! We got things to do and accomplish, ladies and don't be afraid to go to GOD! HE listens!
New subscriber. Can I say how very much I needed this?. You are definately an answered prayer. Im here at work fighting back tears. He is using you to answer sooooo many questions about myself. Thank you ..Thank you..Thank you..for being so transparent. I have not only been set free this day .but FREE INDEED!! Love you my sister in Christ
I do not take it lightly, sis. I be on my face daily asking God to give me what needs to be given so I can give it to the girls. I am so thankful to be doing life WITH you.
The amount of GEMS and BARS you’ve dropped ma’am! If I typed everything that resonated with me this would turn into a live tweet. Just know I appreciate your content so much
I needed to watch this video more than I thought I did. Before watching this I was about to turn down a job I needed because it would affect/effect others. I keep letting other people's opinions sway my decisions in ways that are detrimental to my health and emotional happiness. I'm doing everything for everyone else but I feel guilty when I do something for myself even to the point of being able to use the kitchen before anyone else.
The trauma bond stuff is REAL 😢 .. I came back to my hometown too after being gone for eight years and 😮💨.. the emotional loss is still affecting me. I’m actually still at home and trying to make an exit to start over somewhere new.
Yesssss it’s going to take more than makeup, clothes, shoes to actually be and enjoy a soft life. There will come a time when “THINGS” won’t help with that deep inner discord. One must honor and respect self and express the truth of who YOU are.
I’m currently watching and want to scream at the tv because this is my EXACT current season! Everything you are saying, Jesus! He definitely led me right to this video at the perfect time! I know exactly what you’re trying to explain with the trauma bond and the grief process of the loss of those relationships! It’s tough especially when you are so used to trying to save others or be the strong friend and the fixer but I have to constantly remind myself that I need to be fixed(healed) in this season and I have no capacity for helping others right now especially if they aren’t ready to do the work too! Sheesh! It’s a tough pill to swallow when disconnecting and distancing yourself from them! Whew! 🤯
Gentleness is one of the fruit of Spirit I have been working on much longer, being genuine in that desire …! Umm trauma bonding 😥! This whole video resonates with me things I have to work on in these last three years while in therapy and spiritual counseling….
Trauma Bonds are very real. I have had a few and moved through them as well. My peace is non-negotiable. That fight almost took my life. I will not be moved be anyone. Not even my children. My testimony is a story to be told.
Wow basically everything you said is things that I have applied to my life recently and it has done wonders for my mental/spiritual health ✨ today I had a little hiccup and found myself feeling guilty about enforcing one of my boundaries with a loved one and began questioning my methods. This was a perfect reminder and confirmation that I am still on the right path and doing what’s better for me. Just because someone else is dissatisfied with the way I choose to be, doesn’t mean that I’m wrong. Because ultimately the bigger picture is to set boundaries that bring me peace internally, not everyone else. This video put me right back into alignment ✨ this was beautiful, thank you for sharing. I’m so proud of you 🥳
Needing to morn the relationship because I no longer had the brokenness to sustain the relationship!!! Sis, you are preachinggg. I needed to here this so much 🙌🏾💕
I definitely understand and agree with all your points. It is painful to have to remove yourself or have others remove themselves from you after healing yourself. Trauma bonding is the perfect word. Even within my family all brothers and sisters went through the same trauma, but some deny it, some can't let it go, so it's very painful when you see them distancing themselves from you when you try to impart your new peace, advocate therapy and extend hope that you can heal. It's like the whole relationship was only about the trauma, and it can't sustain itself anymore. Even with old friends, you no longer have the same energy about you when your healed, and they notice it and don't like it. It takes too much energy to try to fake it, you just can't. You changed and they rather lose you than step out of their familiar misery. I have actually had someone tell me, "if I let go of all this anger, then what's gonna hold me up? How am I gonna remain strong?" Their whole persona is tied up in that anger and being the victim. My reply was, "you ain't strong, your whole life is in reaction to that person. Your stuck in a prison of your own making. They are long gone." This was a great video! I also loved your teaching on the book of Jonah in the previous video.
You are so right about social media girl! I was feeling super anxious, sad, angry, just all the bad things at the end of 2022. Granted, it was a rough year for me, but I really couldn't reconcile why I was feeling that way ALL the time. One of my new year's goals has been to severely limit my social media. I haven't spent more than 10 minutes a few times a week checking social media since Jan 1, and no kidding, most of the emotional upheaval I was feeling at the end of last year is completely gone. The only thing that's changed is eliminating social media almost completely. Now that I look back, it really makes sense. The way people talk to each other on socials is absolutely horrendous. It doesn't even matter what you say, there is some mean-hearted troll out there who will be trying to pick a fight with you. I don't miss social media at all - I honestly hope more people will realize this and start living life again OFF of it. We would have a much happier society.
For the last few years, I delete IG off my phone on December 31st. I stay off at least one month. I’ve almost made it to March 1st without it. This year, I’m aiming for April. I had withdrawal for the 1st week and never looked back!
I fast Facebook regularly and this video made me realize that another fast is due. Social media is a good tool but is also toxic when used for filling voids as Sis said.
You are so full of knowledge, one of my favorite influencers. Your taking time off for yourself I think was a great thing for your entire being. We do need to take a break from social media, there is a thing being said about being present in real life. I’m a Christian and I can relate to you so much. God changes our lives when we fully let go ! God is so Great 🙏💛
Marissa! I am currently in a transitional phase in my life. Mentally, physically and emotionally! YOU ARE SO ON POINT ABOUT THE TRAUMA BONDING … even within friendships !
I needed to hear this. My mother died w/in the last year and a half; I retired and I feel like things that used to be ok with me no longer work. I need to make some changes or continue feeling see saw in emotions. The next time I see my therapist I will bring up these issues vs. just feeling like I want to sleep or eat these issues away. I get more out of you than simply liking your hair style and fashion sense :) ☹
Hello, Andrea. I hear you sis and I affirm you. Your emotions, feelings, and thoughts are valid. Losing a parent is tough so have grace for yourself. Take as much time as you need to recover and heal. Start small. If all you can do for the day is brush your teeth, make your bed, or put on a fresh pair of underwear celebrate that and add on to it weekly. I pray that you have someone who is able to cover you and just sit in the chaos with you. Sending hugs. I love you ❤️
You are wise beyond your years. I so relate to trauma bonding and no longer having that bond once you’ve healed and delivered from what once connected you to them. So good!
All of this. Thanks for sharing, sis. I've been off of social media since 2021. No regrets. Truly alternated the way I view myself. I felt inadequate and undervalued. I'm in a constant state of peace now! Ladies, do more disconnecting!
Just wow!!! Every word spoken here resonated with me so well... Speaking of generational causes though! All I can say is I'm making great progress and becoming a better version of myself and definitely I have to agree on also fighting for my peace on a daily and surrendering all to God daily. It's war for us peacemakers in the world on a daily but the Lord is on our side!.
Boo, I am listening as I work and am compelled to do a praise dance at my desk. So many gems!!!! You are wise beyond your years. Ummmm, ma'am, the jacket, the lips, the eyes, and most of all, the huuuurrrrrrrr!
Thank you so much for this. I'm in season of my life where it's like everything isn't going well but by the grace God I still have peace. Even in your points concerning relationships, I more now understand.
I’m the same way so quick to cut ppl off and I am so blunt but I’m trying to learn how to be sensitive to others with how I speak. I’m so grateful to come across your videos for personal and spiritual growth ❤
Thank you SO MUCH...some of the things you said REALLY HIT HOME AND MADE ME WANT TO CRY...I SHOULD'VE BUT I HELP IT IN...I TRULY NEED A GOOD CRY AND THERAPY 🥺🙌🏾❤
Thank you for this video. I’m starting my journey to a healthier me - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. This video….. it helps. It helps me to have a better idea of where to start. Thank you thank you.❤
Girl, I was scrolling through social media when you said that a way to keep your peace is to stop doing that. Love this and I am with you on your minimalist journey.😘
I don't normally comment, but this video speaks to me, especially when you say you would pray and still go work on the problem. This video is very thought-provoking.
The way you describe the loss of someone because of past trauma and not healing as a individual probably hit home for many! That perspective alone is an eye opener. Thank you Trauma bond is so real . Wow !
Ma'am!!!!!!! You literally worded everything I have not been able to find words for! I can not tell you how therapeutic this video was to me. I done saved it and will come back and watch this over and over again, knowing that each time the message will be amplified! From the bottom of my heart I have to say thank you. This was so real and so very true. ❤
Yes sis, you are saying it just exactly... Trauma bonding is good and talking about this things is also therapy. Mine started with salvation and because I wouldn't go to the club or talk about unprofitable things any more, I was called out for acting HOLIER THAN THOU, now, oi look back to 5-6 years ago and I don't regret it 😊. I loove watching your content... Please keep going.
This is my very first time here. Your vlog came up on my page and the title caught my attention. Thank you for showing us how you reinvented yourself. I have already subscribed to your channel. God bless have a great day!!!
This whole video is golden and what I needed to hear to help me focus because you described my current journey with my private life. Especially grudges! I'm the gatekeeper on grudges. I take it to the utmost level and I know it's not healthy but I have nothing to replace that feeling of betrayal and hurt with.
I needed to hear your beautiful words tonight. Thank you for delivering such important messages with so much grace and care. Wish you many blessings! ❤❤❤
This message was soooo on time for meee!! Setting boundaries and sticking to it with people who you want to work with or associate with us hardt and disappointing at times - but protecting my peace at all costs is a must!
Sis!! It’s soooo much I can say about this video. I am at a standstill on the words to say truly. Literally brought the emotions out of me. I mean deep emotions. I am currently working out in the gym while listening….and I literally stopped what I was doing, went in a corner and continued listening and watching. You are a true gem! I needed to hear this! You touched on so many battles of mine. Wow!!! Thank you!!! 🥲🥰🫶🏾✨
This was such good food for the soul on this Sunday ❤ I absolutely love seeing you transform through the self work you’re doing. I’m on a similar journey myself!!! Have a great week and Happy Black History Month!!!
I feel every word spoken. I feel like you're the version I keep playing in my head and my spirit. The healed version. If anything, know that you're speaking to me. I am emotional 😭😭 and scared to move forward... everything seems a lot and dark. But I know that I have to keep going. Thank you sis. 🌸❤️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I will say - it filled me with so much regret that I would self sabotage bc I didn’t want to feel alone. So I would go forward and then wait for someone to change or try to change them. It made me butter, resentful and completely regress or do even worse. COVID was a blessing in disguise because it forced me to get comfortable being alone and walking out steps God has for me. I still am climbing out of some MESS that was pain-driven but getting there. Thank you for this!
GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE INTRO IS ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW I WILL BE GETTING ME A GLASS OF WINE AND LISTENING TO THIS TUHHHNIGHT! Thank you! Love that we are growing together.
Girl I got 30 seconds into the video and felt like I found my long lost sister! I’m new here but have just subscribed and already love and appreciate the vibe of your video. Thank you for the time and effort taking into putting it all together ❤
You got this! Stick with it. The benefits on the other side are unmatched. Get in relationship with like minded friends. You are going to need them when you make it on the other side.
Such richness pouring forth from this chat, my sister‼️ You have dropped so many gems 💎 in this short, power packed video that I will be replaying many more times so I can write them all down‼️ When I’m going thru difficult times, of course I turn to the Lord, and His Word. But there are also other things I like to do to restore that spirit of triumph within me: 1) watching the Rocky movies👊🏾💢😂😂; 2) listening to good sermons; 3) and listening to the wisdom of those who have conquered (not necessarily in this order)……sis, you are one of those conquerors I am adding to my arsenal of encouragement‼️ You exude wisdom and I am sooooooo here for it‼️ Praying for you, that GOD will continue to use you to be a light in this dark world, and that He will continually strengthen you for the days ahead. Love hearing about your family, the love of your parents and the wisdom of your grandmother‼️ Just so rich‼️ Watching this has truly blessed me on today‼️👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥 Grace and Peace, Dionne 💜✝️💜
I love this video because you are experiencing healing 💜 while filming and we can see it hit you...and also God wants us to take responsibility for ourselves, do the work to get ourselves out the situation, he will then provide all the resources to support you after you get to where you need to be from the healing process.
I can relate wholeheartedly!!! Girl, therapy is God sent. I had to learn boundaries as well, and it’s a process. Spending more time with God was also key for me. Please keep sharing.
Yes, mourning the loss of relationships is REAL!! I even had to mourn the loss of the life I once had even though it wasn’t good. I’m in the in-between stage without close friends right now, but I’m still so grateful that GOD has led me out of Egypt. Honestly, though, there are times where I act like the Israelite nation wanting the familiarity of Egypt and I have to remember that I cannot reach the promised land without leaving Egypt completely in the past.
Sis I just love you…you said that. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m on my journey as we speak and yes I’ve cut some people off and bout cut some more. Life is tooooo precious. Thank YOU SIS and GOD BLESS❤❤❤❤
Thank you for loving me, Colette. I love you right back, sis. Instead of "cutting them off" let's love them from a distance instead. Lol we're not moving forward in toxicity.
Marrissa🙏🏾Yessssssss Girrrrllll those “who get it” know EXACTLY what you’re saying and it is Mind Blowing 🤯your articulation is SPOT ON 🙌🏾 Thank U Sis for sharing this 🥰we APPRECIATE you so much ❤
Sis OMG!!! When I say everything I mean everything except the growing up with confidence but I learned self validation along with you said is the exact things I did and went and go through on my journey which started in 2019...so surreal but so comforting it so similar to where I am in my life. We are Gods Favorite ❤️🤲🏾
I needed this video because I’m going through this right now and I can’t talk to anybody about it because their all still stuck in their trauma I’m trying my best but lord it’s a hard battle everyday but I won’t give up I worked hard to get to this point in my life and I got more life to live ❤
Your video just popped up. I have never seen you before until this morning but like you said. If you put control on who you surround yourself with. Who you follow needs to be healthy and positive for your “ear gates and eye gates” it helps you to stay in a direction you desire to journey. So… I’m not surprised that I found you Queen 👸🏽 Great video. Needless to say, I’m a new Subby. 👋🏾❣️
Hearing you speak is a testimony to how we are all connected and derived from one source. And once we find ourselves, and heal ourselves, the lessons we learn are universal. It was so eerie (yet beautiful) to hear you speak to exactly what my soul has gone through over the last couple of years. I will say, I have yet to discover what the heck happened to me at a young age that forced me to hold a grudge so DEEPLY 😅. Learning to forgive… to truly forgive…will be my ultimate teacher. I look forward to being able to heal that piece of myself.
Your mother and grandmother were very mature and nurturing. They gave you very wise advice and knowledge. Shout out to moms and grandma for giving you gems so early on!
Hello, SaVannah. Thank you for being here, sis. My mom and grandma definitely gave great advice. The men in my life as well girl. Let's not leave them out. The information I received from both the men and women in my life has helped develop not only my mindset but it help set the foundation for my future.
I absolutely enjoyed this video. I am grateful for your point of view. Looking forward to the growth in my very own journey. The statement about wanting better for others; is something I identify with. I have come to terms with the idea of ending relationships, now I must figure out how to take action. Thanks
*I started forgiving people when I realized that people do not all the time know or care that they hurt you. You get hurt and bottle those emotions up and be sick while that person is living their best life carefree. If I can have the conversation and move forward I will if not, I'll go through the emotions and let it go.*
Trauma bonding is a real thing! Once one person heals and move on the relationship just isn’t the same. It doesn’t work because the person is in a totally different space.
Fighting for your peace is spiritual battle daily and you have to choose you everyday and surrendering to God daily. This is very much an on time word ❤ That jacket tho 😍
Absolutely agree, sis. Thank you so much ❤️
Why last night someone was telling me what I'm going is spiritual warfare and this morning I'm seeing your comment "COMFIRMATION" Thank Yolanda and Marrissa place and light🥰🥰
Seriously that's my journey everyday ❤️💯🙏🏽
"there is nothing soft about being the one to answer the call to break generational curses." a thousand times yes!! Jesus said that He came not to bring peace, but a sword. and as His true followers, that's what we inevitably do, too. light and darkness will always fight. thanks for sharing this message!
The trauma bonding friendship is real! I broke up with my best friend of 6 years cuz I didn’t fit the trauma of our friendship anymore it was hard but I couldn’t mentally or emotionally take it
Totally understand, I had to let go of a 20+ year friendship! Super hard but necessary.
The first 15 seconds alone speaks volumes: “You will quickly run back to what’s familiar if what’s foreign seems lonely.” Embrace the loneliness to ascend to your next level. #MessagetoMyself
The part about mourning my old self 😢 sometimes I cry because I miss that version of me because she had identity. No one asks me how I am or how’s it going now that I’m on the other side of all my troubles. I know I’ll be okay but it still hurts…
“I don’t use social media to fill voids”
Wow I realised it last year when I watched your ‘reinvented myself’ video but you are truly in the league of your own! You say a lot of things I think about but cannot seem to articulate.
I hope you do more videos like this, trust me the world needs more wisdom and someone who can back it up with real ACTION. 🤩💎
Glad I was able to articulate it for you, sis. Finding things I truly enjoy helped me stop scrolling just because I felt bored, stressed, alone, or whatever else. This past year I was trying something new every month. I found two new hobbies I truly enjoy that I would have NEVER done. You got this ❤️
c'monnn sis, am 25 now, and i put a stop to being the therapist friend, the strong and advising friend, girl i almost lost my life trying to be everything to everything out of a heart to help. watching this i was like am not alone, thank you for sharing this video is amazing
“The brokenness that we both had is what sustained the relationship”!!! wowww!!! I’m that someone that needed to hear that!!!!! I hear you, girl!! Thank you for this❤️
First of all, round of applause for this look and that hair 😍 second, thank you for being so honest about how long it took you to become who you are today. I resonated with this. ❤️
Thank you so much, sis. I appreciate you. I will always be honest about the time frame because I feel like without the time being mentioned, someone on their journey could feel discouraged and quit. I was so frustrated when I was going through my healing and I wondered all the time when will I feel okay… when will I feel better. Nobody was talking about the yearssssss it takes to heal.
@@MarrissaBreann You’re absolutely right. Time is a key factor. It’s very refreshing to hear more black women share honest experiences. ❤️🫶🏽
You are talking pure FACTS !!! I had a friend I trauma bounded with and now that I’m healed I just cannot be friends with the person anymore cause we have nothing in common!!!
I always wanted to see my friends succeed in life but its like they never wanted it for themselves so I keep my distance because my life is not what it was 5 years ago and won't be the same 5 years from today.
Yeah, I wanted so badly for my friends and family to heal and experience wholeness. I learned that wanting something for them that they did not want for themselves was causing chaos in our relationship. I made the decision to stop that. Just because I did something and it is what's best for me doesn't necessarily mean that it is what's best for others. They may not find anything wrong with their life. We have to stop projecting our desires, wants, thoughts, trauma, etc on others. We mean good, but it is not good.
Omggg I’ve been going through this same exact thing (24:00-26:00). It’s so sad when the friendships that you thought you would have for a lifetime, have to come to an end because the new version of yourself no longer resonates with those old friendships. And I completely agree, going back to those friendships or old comfort zones is just as uncomfortable as going forward into the unknown 😩 you are literally forced to keep going because you realize the people/things of the past no longer serves you and causes disruption to your spirit.
This part is everything. I’m crying.
You’re first video about reinventing yourself, got me in my Bible for the first time. Always believed in Him but never read the Bible. This changed me.
So grateful for your videos.
Glory! Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus. I'm so glad for you. Keep going. Jesus loves you❤
The friendship loss is bitter sweet. Because the friendships WERE indeed v sweet, but it’s the moving on that in the end is BETTER.
Girl! I love this video as well as the reinvent yourself video. I recently went back to therapy because I want to break everything that has held me back since childhood! I am grateful for GOD and HIS word! It's very easy for me to forgive people who have done me harm and I have to keep reminding myself that I am a new creature in Christ! We got things to do and accomplish, ladies and don't be afraid to go to GOD! HE listens!
Girl that "arguing is for fools" LOL, I hit 40 and that message hit me like a brick
New subscriber. Can I say how very much I needed this?. You are definately an answered prayer. Im here at work fighting back tears. He is using you to answer sooooo many questions about myself. Thank you ..Thank you..Thank you..for being so transparent. I have not only been set free this day .but FREE INDEED!! Love you my sister in Christ
I never comment on videos but I just have to say that I received everything single word! This truly spoke to my spirit, thank you for sharing. ❤
Heyyyyy, sis! I’m so glad you decided to comment today. I love knowing who you guys are. Comment more often. Thank you for being here ❤️
Watching your videos is one of my positive self care habits. You are so inspirational & classy! Love you sis! 🤎🤎
I do not take it lightly, sis. I be on my face daily asking God to give me what needs to be given so I can give it to the girls. I am so thankful to be doing life WITH you.
The amount of GEMS and BARS you’ve dropped ma’am! If I typed everything that resonated with me this would turn into a live tweet. Just know I appreciate your content so much
I needed to watch this video more than I thought I did. Before watching this I was about to turn down a job I needed because it would affect/effect others. I keep letting other people's opinions sway my decisions in ways that are detrimental to my health and emotional happiness. I'm doing everything for everyone else but I feel guilty when I do something for myself even to the point of being able to use the kitchen before anyone else.
Thank you Jesus for allowing Marissa to speak to us and help us with self awareness . I will share this with my contacts. Be blessed Everyone!
The trauma bond stuff is REAL 😢 .. I came back to my hometown too after being gone for eight years and 😮💨.. the emotional loss is still affecting me. I’m actually still at home and trying to make an exit to start over somewhere new.
Yesssss it’s going to take more than makeup, clothes, shoes to actually be and enjoy a soft life. There will come a time when “THINGS” won’t help with that deep inner discord. One must honor and respect self and express the truth of who YOU are.
Sis you said the brokenness I no longer had to sustain the relationship. That's so good.
“ stop wanting better for ppl in my life” exactly mmm thanks for this video! 🎉
As someone who is “going through it” right now, you described the healing process PERFECTLY!
I was so happy when you mentioned the fruits of the spirit. Living by them has helped me to die to self daily, allowing the best me to emerge.
I’m currently watching and want to scream at the tv because this is my EXACT current season! Everything you are saying, Jesus! He definitely led me right to this video at the perfect time! I know exactly what you’re trying to explain with the trauma bond and the grief process of the loss of those relationships! It’s tough especially when you are so used to trying to save others or be the strong friend and the fixer but I have to constantly remind myself that I need to be fixed(healed) in this season and I have no capacity for helping others right now especially if they aren’t ready to do the work too! Sheesh! It’s a tough pill to swallow when disconnecting and distancing yourself from them! Whew! 🤯
Gentleness is one of the fruit of Spirit I have been working on much longer, being genuine in that desire …! Umm trauma bonding 😥! This whole video resonates with me things I have to work on in these last three years while in therapy and spiritual counseling….
OMG. You were talking to me. Im different and I have felt the void. But I wont go back. Thank you this was fantastic!
Trauma Bonds are very real. I have had a few and moved through them as well. My peace is non-negotiable. That fight almost took my life. I will not be moved be anyone. Not even my children. My testimony is a story to be told.
Wow basically everything you said is things that I have applied to my life recently and it has done wonders for my mental/spiritual health ✨ today I had a little hiccup and found myself feeling guilty about enforcing one of my boundaries with a loved one and began questioning my methods. This was a perfect reminder and confirmation that I am still on the right path and doing what’s better for me. Just because someone else is dissatisfied with the way I choose to be, doesn’t mean that I’m wrong. Because ultimately the bigger picture is to set boundaries that bring me peace internally, not everyone else. This video put me right back into alignment ✨ this was beautiful, thank you for sharing. I’m so proud of you 🥳
Needing to morn the relationship because I no longer had the brokenness to sustain the relationship!!! Sis, you are preachinggg. I needed to here this so much 🙌🏾💕
Your video resonated with especially outgrowing people; new journey of life leaving behind people
I am learning to stop over sharing myself less than i used to, but I am seriously private and I love it.
I definitely understand and agree with all your points. It is painful to have to remove yourself or have others remove themselves from you after healing yourself. Trauma bonding is the perfect word. Even within my family all brothers and sisters went through the same trauma, but some deny it, some can't let it go, so it's very painful when you see them distancing themselves from you when you try to impart your new peace, advocate therapy and extend hope that you can heal. It's like the whole relationship was only about the trauma, and it can't sustain itself anymore. Even with old friends, you no longer have the same energy about you when your healed, and they notice it and don't like it. It takes too much energy to try to fake it, you just can't. You changed and they rather lose you than step out of their familiar misery. I have actually had someone tell me, "if I let go of all this anger, then what's gonna hold me up? How am I gonna remain strong?" Their whole persona is tied up in that anger and being the victim. My reply was, "you ain't strong, your whole life is in reaction to that person. Your stuck in a prison of your own making. They are long gone." This was a great video! I also loved your teaching on the book of Jonah in the previous video.
You are so right about social media girl! I was feeling super anxious, sad, angry, just all the bad things at the end of 2022. Granted, it was a rough year for me, but I really couldn't reconcile why I was feeling that way ALL the time. One of my new year's goals has been to severely limit my social media. I haven't spent more than 10 minutes a few times a week checking social media since Jan 1, and no kidding, most of the emotional upheaval I was feeling at the end of last year is completely gone. The only thing that's changed is eliminating social media almost completely. Now that I look back, it really makes sense. The way people talk to each other on socials is absolutely horrendous. It doesn't even matter what you say, there is some mean-hearted troll out there who will be trying to pick a fight with you. I don't miss social media at all - I honestly hope more people will realize this and start living life again OFF of it. We would have a much happier society.
For the last few years, I delete IG off my phone on December 31st. I stay off at least one month. I’ve almost made it to March 1st without it. This year, I’m aiming for April. I had withdrawal for the 1st week and never looked back!
I fast Facebook regularly and this video made me realize that another fast is due. Social media is a good tool but is also toxic when used for filling voids as Sis said.
You are so full of knowledge, one of my favorite influencers. Your taking time off for yourself I think was a great thing for your entire being. We do need to take a break from social media, there is a thing being said about being present in real life. I’m a Christian and I can relate to you so much. God changes our lives when we fully let go ! God is so Great 🙏💛
Marissa! I am currently in a transitional phase in my life. Mentally, physically and emotionally! YOU ARE SO ON POINT ABOUT THE TRAUMA BONDING … even within friendships !
I get it!!! Right on point! The “new creation” cannot connect with the old-- light & darkness!
I needed to hear this. My mother died w/in the last year and a half; I retired and I feel like things that used to be ok with me no longer work. I need to make some changes or continue feeling see saw in emotions. The next time I see my therapist I will bring up these issues vs. just feeling like I want to sleep or eat these issues away. I get more out of you than simply liking your hair style and fashion sense :) ☹
Hello, Andrea. I hear you sis and I affirm you. Your emotions, feelings, and thoughts are valid. Losing a parent is tough so have grace for yourself. Take as much time as you need to recover and heal. Start small. If all you can do for the day is brush your teeth, make your bed, or put on a fresh pair of underwear celebrate that and add on to it weekly. I pray that you have someone who is able to cover you and just sit in the chaos with you. Sending hugs. I love you ❤️
Wowowowow Sis. Let the Lord lead you. That was a powerful word. Mind blowing statements! Thank you.
You are wise beyond your years. I so relate to trauma bonding and no longer having that bond once you’ve healed and delivered from what once connected you to them. So good!
All of this. Thanks for sharing, sis. I've been off of social media since 2021. No regrets. Truly alternated the way I view myself. I felt inadequate and undervalued. I'm in a constant state of peace now!
Ladies, do more disconnecting!
Just wow!!! Every word spoken here resonated with me so well... Speaking of generational causes though! All I can say is I'm making great progress and becoming a better version of myself and definitely I have to agree on also fighting for my peace on a daily and surrendering all to God daily.
It's war for us peacemakers in the world on a daily but the Lord is on our side!.
Boo, I am listening as I work and am compelled to do a praise dance at my desk. So many gems!!!! You are wise beyond your years. Ummmm, ma'am, the jacket, the lips, the eyes, and most of all, the huuuurrrrrrrr!
Thank you so much for this. I'm in season of my life where it's like everything isn't going well but by the grace God I still have peace. Even in your points concerning relationships, I more now understand.
My God, I don't know where you cane from but you are talking only to me. Thank you for being obedient. Blessings
I’m the same way so quick to cut ppl off and I am so blunt but I’m trying to learn how to be sensitive to others with how I speak. I’m so grateful to come across your videos for personal and spiritual growth ❤
such a good word, social media is not for a void
Thank you SO MUCH...some of the things you said REALLY HIT HOME AND MADE ME WANT TO CRY...I SHOULD'VE BUT I HELP IT IN...I TRULY NEED A GOOD CRY AND THERAPY 🥺🙌🏾❤
Thank you for this video. I’m starting my journey to a healthier me - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. This video….. it helps. It helps me to have a better idea of where to start. Thank you thank you.❤
Marissa Brean, you are deeply loved and appreciated. Thank you❤
Girl, I was scrolling through social media when you said that a way to keep your peace is to stop doing that. Love this and I am with you on your minimalist journey.😘
I don't normally comment, but this video speaks to me, especially when you say you would pray and still go work on the problem. This video is very thought-provoking.
Gems are drop here. First off I thank you for your testimony and your courage. I will remember these words along my journey. ❤️
The way you describe the loss of someone because of past trauma and not healing as a individual probably hit home for many! That perspective alone is an eye opener. Thank you Trauma bond is so real . Wow !
Ma'am!!!!!!! You literally worded everything I have not been able to find words for! I can not tell you how therapeutic this video was to me. I done saved it and will come back and watch this over and over again, knowing that each time the message will be amplified! From the bottom of my heart I have to say thank you. This was so real and so very true. ❤
you're just as stunning as ever with this haircut! makes me wanna take my 'fro back down that low!
Yes sis, you are saying it just exactly... Trauma bonding is good and talking about this things is also therapy. Mine started with salvation and because I wouldn't go to the club or talk about unprofitable things any more, I was called out for acting HOLIER THAN THOU, now, oi look back to 5-6 years ago and I don't regret it 😊. I loove watching your content... Please keep going.
You are speaking facts. I’m on my healing spiritual growth journey ❤️🙏🏾🐛🦋
This is my very first time here. Your vlog came up on my page and the title caught my attention. Thank you for showing us how you reinvented yourself. I have already subscribed to your channel. God bless have a great day!!!
This whole video is golden and what I needed to hear to help me focus because you described my current journey with my private life. Especially grudges! I'm the gatekeeper on grudges. I take it to the utmost level and I know it's not healthy but I have nothing to replace that feeling of betrayal and hurt with.
I needed to hear your beautiful words tonight. Thank you for delivering such important messages with so much grace and care. Wish you many blessings! ❤❤❤
Randomly came across this via auto play. Makes total sense for me as there are few areas I am working on, subscribed! ❤
This message was soooo on time for meee!! Setting boundaries and sticking to it with people who you want to work with or associate with us hardt and disappointing at times - but protecting my peace at all costs is a must!
I know exactly what your talking about with the trauma bonding and nothing left to sustain the friendship. 👌🏾👌🏾❤️
🗣️SPEAAAAAK about the boundaries. 🙌🏾 And the oversharing is real. I didn’t realize how much ppl did that until I joined social media. It was shocking!
Sis!! It’s soooo much I can say about this video. I am at a standstill on the words to say truly. Literally brought the emotions out of me. I mean deep emotions. I am currently working out in the gym while listening….and I literally stopped what I was doing, went in a corner and continued listening and watching. You are a true gem! I needed to hear this! You touched on so many battles of mine. Wow!!! Thank you!!!
🥲🥰🫶🏾✨
This was such good food for the soul on this Sunday ❤
I absolutely love seeing you transform through the self work you’re doing. I’m on a similar journey myself!!! Have a great week and Happy Black History Month!!!
I feel every word spoken. I feel like you're the version I keep playing in my head and my spirit. The healed version. If anything, know that you're speaking to me. I am emotional 😭😭 and scared to move forward... everything seems a lot and dark. But I know that I have to keep going.
Thank you sis. 🌸❤️❤️
Yes you can with God's help!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I will say - it filled me with so much regret that I would self sabotage bc I didn’t want to feel alone. So I would go forward and then wait for someone to change or try to change them. It made me butter, resentful and completely regress or do even worse. COVID was a blessing in disguise because it forced me to get comfortable being alone and walking out steps God has for me. I still am climbing out of some MESS that was pain-driven but getting there. Thank you for this!
Wow it’s only been 5 min of this video n ur saying everything about my last 2yrs! U are amazing n thank u now back to finish watching
GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE INTRO IS ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW I WILL BE GETTING ME A GLASS OF WINE AND LISTENING TO THIS TUHHHNIGHT! Thank you! Love that we are growing together.
Girl I got 30 seconds into the video and felt like I found my long lost sister! I’m new here but have just subscribed and already love and appreciate the vibe of your video. Thank you for the time and effort taking into putting it all together ❤
This video was TIMELY, sis! I'm currently going through this phase right now.
You got this! Stick with it. The benefits on the other side are unmatched. Get in relationship with like minded friends. You are going to need them when you make it on the other side.
This whole video is a word!!! That part of mourning your old self..sis I thought I was the only one. Thank you❤❤
This was such a rich post. Thank you for sharing. Even this senior citizen gained some golden nuggets. 👍🏾❤️
I decided to only watch videos on social media that are helpful positive and funny. I really appreciate your video and just subscribed 🙏🏽
Such richness pouring forth from this chat, my sister‼️ You have dropped so many gems 💎 in this short, power packed video that I will be replaying many more times so I can write them all down‼️ When I’m going thru difficult times, of course I turn to the Lord, and His Word. But there are also other things I like to do to restore that spirit of triumph within me: 1) watching the Rocky movies👊🏾💢😂😂; 2) listening to good sermons; 3) and listening to the wisdom of those who have conquered (not necessarily in this order)……sis, you are one of those conquerors I am adding to my arsenal of encouragement‼️ You exude wisdom and I am sooooooo here for it‼️ Praying for you, that GOD will continue to use you to be a light in this dark world, and that He will continually strengthen you for the days ahead.
Love hearing about your family, the love of your parents and the wisdom of your grandmother‼️ Just so rich‼️
Watching this has truly blessed me on today‼️👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥👏🏾💥
Grace and Peace,
Dionne 💜✝️💜
I had to learn and still learning to respond gentle. Without snapping if someone said something crazy to me.
I love this video because you are experiencing healing 💜 while filming and we can see it hit you...and also God wants us to take responsibility for ourselves, do the work to get ourselves out the situation, he will then provide all the resources to support you after you get to where you need to be from the healing process.
“Gentleness is strength under control.”
Another 💎 from this video.🤍
Marrissa can you make a video explaining more on boundaries, areas to set them and how to implement them. Thank you 🙏
I can relate wholeheartedly!!! Girl, therapy is God sent. I had to learn boundaries as well, and it’s a process. Spending more time with God was also key for me. Please keep sharing.
Yes, mourning the loss of relationships is REAL!! I even had to mourn the loss of the life I once had even though it wasn’t good. I’m in the
in-between stage without close friends right now, but I’m still so grateful that GOD has led me out of Egypt. Honestly, though, there are times where I act like the Israelite nation wanting the familiarity of Egypt and I have to remember that I cannot reach the promised land without leaving Egypt completely in the past.
Sis I just love you…you said that. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m on my journey as we speak and yes I’ve cut some people off and bout cut some more. Life is tooooo precious. Thank YOU SIS and GOD BLESS❤❤❤❤
Thank you for loving me, Colette. I love you right back, sis. Instead of "cutting them off" let's love them from a distance instead. Lol we're not moving forward in toxicity.
Chile did you say costing my peace is just too expensive”, now this I will use, and baby arguing is for fools 😮😮😮😂❤
Marrissa🙏🏾Yessssssss Girrrrllll those “who get it” know EXACTLY what you’re saying and it is Mind Blowing 🤯your articulation is SPOT ON 🙌🏾 Thank U Sis for sharing this 🥰we APPRECIATE you so much ❤
I am very grateful that this video showed up today. I really enjoyed the entire information. It really spoke to me. Thank you.
this was so real. the “there was nothing else there” i felt that, heavy! you’re saying it just right thank you!
Sis OMG!!! When I say everything I mean everything except the growing up with confidence but I learned self validation along with you said is the exact things I did and went and go through on my journey which started in 2019...so surreal but so comforting it so similar to where I am in my life. We are Gods Favorite ❤️🤲🏾
I needed this video because I’m going through this right now and I can’t talk to anybody about it because their all still stuck in their trauma I’m trying my best but lord it’s a hard battle everyday but I won’t give up I worked hard to get to this point in my life and I got more life to live ❤
Your video just popped up. I have never seen you before until this morning but like you said. If you put control on who you surround yourself with. Who you follow needs to be healthy and positive for your “ear gates and eye gates” it helps you to stay in a direction you desire to journey. So… I’m not surprised that I found you Queen 👸🏽 Great video.
Needless to say, I’m a new Subby. 👋🏾❣️
Hearing you speak is a testimony to how we are all connected and derived from one source. And once we find ourselves, and heal ourselves, the lessons we learn are universal. It was so eerie (yet beautiful) to hear you speak to exactly what my soul has gone through over the last couple of years. I will say, I have yet to discover what the heck happened to me at a young age that forced me to hold a grudge so DEEPLY 😅. Learning to forgive… to truly forgive…will be my ultimate teacher. I look forward to being able to heal that piece of myself.
Your mother and grandmother were very mature and nurturing. They gave you very wise advice and knowledge. Shout out to moms and grandma for giving you gems so early on!
Hello, SaVannah. Thank you for being here, sis. My mom and grandma definitely gave great advice. The men in my life as well girl. Let's not leave them out. The information I received from both the men and women in my life has helped develop not only my mindset but it help set the foundation for my future.
I absolutely enjoyed this video. I am grateful for your point of view. Looking forward to the growth in my very own journey. The statement about wanting better for others; is something I identify with. I have come to terms with the idea of ending relationships, now I must figure out how to take action. Thanks
Oh && I am forgiving myself first then I will forgive others.